Peep Show: Petty Breakups

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share the petty reasons they broke up with someone!

Transcript

00:00all right a question for you next on dave and chuck the freak we want to know from you what

00:11is the pettiest reason you've ever broken up with someone 1-855-954-6969 that's the way to reach us

00:181-855-954-6969 or you can text us at 46969 uh someone said they broke up with someone because

00:28their ideal home temperature is lower than 70 degrees they couldn't handle it i got a buddy

00:34who keeps his place at like 62 and uh you know he's married and has kids and they're just

00:40forced to deal with 62 you know 62 is i couldn't do i couldn't know 62 62 stuff i'd be frozen solid

00:49you have to be somewhere on the right temperature to make it work like you know yeah 62 yeah that's

00:58cold 62 i think i was a 68 guy before i met amber and then now i'm like a 71 68's cold 68 is cold

01:06but i like the cold never bothered me before right i used to be a 68 man

01:11and i'm probably in the 70 i'm 70 man now i think yeah yeah only in the winter but then in the summer

01:20i want it to be uh frigid our we're 71 year round oh wow hot and cold no when it's the summer i want

01:27it down still i don't mind between like 65 and 68 yeah yeah mom and stepdad are having problems like

01:33this right now she's complaining that he likes it too warm and they've been married for a very like

01:38over 30 years my mom and dad going through through the same thing she's like i want it to be cooler and

01:44yeah we get we get cold the women get hot flashes and we go the other way guys get they get cold we

01:51get cold all of a sudden yeah because the bryster used to be the most frozen person alive and he would

01:57be like that's right freezing cold and now my mom will complain she'll like oh yeah he'll go over and

02:05then it'll be 74 75 you know and i can feel it no like i can feel it happening to me where i used

02:13to be where andy's at and all of a sudden now it's like you know and i got obviously i got some other

02:19stuff going on and right but it's i can see the temperature going up and i don't like it i don't

02:25enjoy it no less of a man oh absolutely i told you i wear a blanket sometimes on my legs i know i know

02:32i'll get you guys a couple of shawls for your birthdays oh thank you i could use it

02:36no it's it is you don't want i don't want to be cold i've never been cold no like my buddy he was

02:42like yeah i keep it at 62 and then he works in the basement i'm like i'd be i'd be dead they'd find me

02:47i'd be like that guy's friends like what happened to chuck he's been dead frozen in the basement

02:54yeah it is true i think you like you maybe you're apart when you get together as men and women

03:00you come closer together and then it flips yeah like it's okay for a certain number of years and

03:05then now you're seeing it yeah broke up with someone because of the way he chewed sure yeah

03:11i can see that i can see you doing that chuck oh yeah you really pay attention to that stuff

03:15yeah how people chew how they eat i think if it was someone like if you uh our old boss used to

03:22you you would watch him eat and say he didn't open his mouth wide enough he couldn't he had a small

03:26he had a tiny little mouth so if that was a partner of yours it doesn't work out so i watch

03:33if i'm with someone like if i find someone attractive i am watching them eat yeah like

03:39it's weird i don't because i don't like watching anyone eat so i don't pay attention to that at all

03:44i guess i'm just making sure it's all okay unless it stands out and then i'm like oh but i'm not

03:50like looking for anything if i notice something that happened to me what happened i stopped seeing

03:56that girl because of the way she ate corn on the cob oh yeah i remember you mentioned that

04:00it was absolutely disgusting what happened like did corn go flying it was all over her mouth and her

04:06face and she was like eating it like she hadn't eaten anything in like six months i think that's a

04:12bad food to eat when you're like dating or whatever you should have a cob that's like marriage food

04:18you're right i saw it you're right yeah yeah you gotta be locked down before you break out the

04:25corn butter on the cheeks a funny date food because i do have yourself some corn on the cob

04:30like it's hard to eat yeah i can't do it sexy no and you have to be with someone a certain amount

04:39of time before you can be like hey do you got any of that stuck in your teeth you know it was like

04:44exactly someone with a toothpick oh yeah no that's marriage that is marriage right long-term

04:51long-term cheeks were shiny from the butter oh wow that's it we're done i'll never sleep with you

04:58again yeah yeah you knew you knew someone said i broke up with a guy because of his long toenails

05:03you gotta keep those things under wraps on day you gotta get married first before you bust those

05:09bad boys out i was married when amber discovered i mean can you even imagine lease you're dating a

05:14guy and then he cuts your sheets what happened to my oh i'm sorry my toenails are super long

05:21and i cut through your sheets gone gone you gotta those are married toes yeah exactly

05:29yeah my velociraptor feet did cause some trouble oh man yeah jason this hurts i couldn't date a guy

05:38because he had a peanut allergy i realized i love peanut butter too much yeah it would be hard

05:43i'll be honest i can understand it i could rinse i just had peanut butter this morning i get it

05:49this is not my fault you're just not a match you know we're not a match you can't control it

05:53we're not a match i'm sorry i love in the same i put i can't even i won't even say it what no like

06:01to me i put it in the same category as finding out someone is bipolar

06:06i do i do because you're on your own on that thought okay here it is this is why no this is

06:18why it's an uncontrollable allergy for both of them are kind of uncontrollable my whole thing is i

06:24understand that you need constant care and and someone to pay attention at all times and and be

06:33there and i just can't be that person i can't i can't i can't but it's the same i don't know why

06:43i put it it's not the same but for me personally if i am like talking to someone and then they were

06:50like oh and i'm bipolar i'm like i gotta go i've dealt with it in my life i'm not ever doing it again

06:55sorry jason you and him will never be together and also i would just be like oh man like i know

07:01i'd screw it up i i'd buy the wrong thing and i'd kill you i know you want to lather me in peanut

07:07butter and lick it off me we could find some other foods you told me we're not allowed you the texter

07:12oh not you whoever texted me that was me again what's happening right now i don't want any part

07:20of that what have you two been texting each other he always says no bipolar oh we have a bipolar

07:27peanut allergy listener who realizes she has no chance with you no you don't you have zero chance

07:32you have absolutely zero chance there's someone out there for you though and i believe that there is

07:37but it's not me it ain't me babe baby baby baby broke up with a guy because the head of his penis

07:45looked like a sharpened crayon what you know uh he said i just couldn't get down with it he's got to

07:52get that look at something he's got to get some botox or something in there a little some injections

07:57well there's all sorts of different types what have you ever seen uh a crayon wiener i've seen a lot

08:04of porn in my day and there are some weird shapes it's one of the shapes i think where um it goes like

08:11this at the end what yeah i can't i can't believe well i don't know if you're gonna find a crayon

08:19shaped penis i'm gonna see if any well they have penis crayons yeah that's the problem yeah there is a

08:26uh a style where it's uh thicker in the the girth but then the head goes to a point small and to a

08:36point yeah there's many people who have it wow i broke up with a girl after she pooped in my powder

08:43room with a demon of a turd it stunk up my first floor so bad we were done i mean okay i don't know

08:51how early on it has everyone i know but there is a limit like it can be early on too early on

08:58too early on to poop too early for a stinky turd i mean i can understand maybe she didn't know it was

09:05gonna be a stinky turd oh don't you take every precaution yeah is there a window is i would have

09:10done everything a match i'd light a fire i have taken at least if you don't think that i've taken a

09:17piece of paper towel oh my god and set it on it on fire because it's better i will i'll set it on

09:25fire i'll burn that place to the ground better than fire no it doesn't no it doesn't poop smell

09:31goes away because people are like oh is that a campfire no it's not a campfire i've burned paper too

09:38oh yeah burn it burn it burn paper burn it i have no problem burning it yep you got the wire

09:48the water right there just turn it on and it's out and we're good i will burn a place almost to the

09:54ground you're crazy i could not handle a smelly girl turd early on i couldn't handle it as i wouldn't

10:03want them to handle my exactly i have the decency i have the decency to light a fire right i expect

10:11no girl to handle my turds early on listen even if i was dating someone for a long time and i knew

10:18that i was in a state of the stinkiest turds i would be like i would not feel comfortable i drove

10:25all the way to the grocery store to poop just so she didn't have to see that's so smart wife yep so

10:30smart like i'll be right back gotta go pick something up so smart little studio apartment

10:37yeah no way i'm doing no way what a risk finally broke up with a girl i dated for a few months after

10:43i went to meet her mother and her mother looked like alice cooper that would be your future

10:51right that would be yeah because you'll if you marry her one day you'll come home to alice cooper

10:57that's funny yeah that is wild you got the alice cooper jeans

11:02i mean you gotta pay you gotta pay real attention to the jeans

11:07you gotta you gotta look at mom and know what you might get

11:12you gotta take a bigander and be like does mom guys mom did everything that he was doing in this

11:18video came into the room and smoke was behind her hello hey hey alice hey mom mom's weird

11:32you got a strange lady mom

11:35you

11:37you

Recommended

Category

Transcript

Recommended