Peep Show: How to Handle Bear Attacks

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about two people who were attacked by bears and wonder if Siri would tell you what to do in order to protect yourself in the same situation.

Transcript

00:00It sucks to be old.

00:10What went wrong for an old hunter in Wyoming?

00:17Let me give you some audio clues here.

00:20Here's number one.

00:21Oh, no.

00:22Oh, no.

00:24No.

00:25Oh, no.

00:27Audio clue number two coming in now.

00:32Okay.

00:34A bear got him and then he shot himself.

00:37Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

00:39I thought a cougar shot him or something.

00:41A hunter accidentally shot himself in the leg while trying to fight off a grizzly bear attack in west central Wyoming.

00:50I thought the way you worded that, I was like, dude, took his own life.

00:54Oh, yeah, no.

00:55After being attacked by a bear.

00:56A bear now accidentally shot himself in the leg.

00:59No.

01:00His son used a satellite phone to call for help, then began providing first aid to his dad.

01:08Did the bear get him?

01:10You think the bear got him?

01:10Oh, the bear got him.

01:11Oh, yeah.

01:12The bear was attacking him when he was firing off the shots.

01:14Yeah.

01:15His son was able to help his father onto a horse.

01:19That's not how you want to be rescued.

01:21No.

01:21They got all the hunting accessories.

01:24It's like how I am with jogging.

01:26It's like you just buy the coolest stuff.

01:27That's it.

01:28But you're not very good at it.

01:30But you have the top of the line stuff.

01:31But I have the top of the line stuff as if I were going to be in the Olympics.

01:34Do you have a sat...

01:35To go with your satellite phone?

01:36Yeah.

01:37Every time I jog, I have my sat phone.

01:39Sat phone.

01:41Just in case.

01:41Just you never know, right?

01:42Yeah.

01:44This guy's got a handgun, a horse, sat phone, and he can't even not shoot himself in the

01:49leg.

01:50Yeah.

01:50His father lay on the horse as they headed toward a nearby lake to meet search and rescue

01:56crews.

01:57And finally, he was eventually taken to a hospital in a helicopter, they say.

02:02Yeah.

02:02Is it his?

02:03Yeah.

02:03It's his helicopter.

02:04Get us back to our...

02:07Chopper!

02:08Our own shopper.

02:08Where's our chopper, Dad?

02:10We got to stop hunting.

02:13Speaking of bear attacks, another one to tell you about here, though.

02:15A woman escaped a bear attack by punching it in the face.

02:19This Washington State woman escaped a bear attack outside of her home with injuries after

02:25she hit the bear right in the face.

02:27The woman who hasn't been named yet was charged at by an adult female black bear when she went

02:36to let her dog out to go to the bathroom.

02:39She sustained non-life-threatening injuries and was taken to an area hospital.

02:45The bear was killed later that morning by wildlife officers.

02:49The two cubs with the mom were captured and taken to a wildlife rehab facility.

02:57A.K.A. Russian Circus.

02:59Terrible.

03:00Terrible fate.

03:00No, that's not what they do.

03:02You're so ridiculous.

03:03A terrible fate.

03:04They don't take American bears and put them in the Russian circus.

03:07Yes, the Russian circus.

03:09No.

03:09It's not what happens.

03:10You have any little bear cubs for us?

03:13No.

03:13You do?

03:14Perfect.

03:15They say, though, this woman did the exact right thing.

03:19Punch it?

03:20Yeah, attacking the bear after she was knocked to the ground.

03:23Well, I think I saw a guy say, no matter what it is, fight it.

03:29Like that there's one of the things out there is like, oh, just pretend you're dead.

03:35And apparently even that is like, don't.

03:37They'll just.

03:38I figured they'd just.

03:39You know, like a grizzly's killing you because it's hungry.

03:43So fight.

03:45You want to fight.

03:45Stay away from bears.

03:47That's my advice.

03:48Yeah, I don't.

03:49I don't go into bear territory much.

03:51No.

03:52Well, this woman didn't see it coming as she was letting her dog out.

03:55So she couldn't make herself big or clap her hands or yell at the bear or wave her arms.

03:59Like all those things they usually tell you to do.

04:01So she did what she had left was fight.

04:04Punch that thing.

04:05They do need to have like a list of stuff to do that is like.

04:09Because I feel like there are people who are like, play dead.

04:11They say all these things and then they a bunch of people pick that up as information to apply.

04:16Yeah.

04:16When they are out hunting with their satellite phones in there.

04:19Yeah.

04:20I agree.

04:21I can forget.

04:22Oh, man.

04:23I'd be.

04:23I just run.

04:24I don't know.

04:25I just run.

04:25And that'd be the worst thing.

04:26Would you scream to your phone like if I said right now, like, hey, Siri, what should I do during a bear attack?

04:33You're going to ask Siri for advice while it's happening?

04:37Was she helping you?

04:38Stand your ground, but slowly wave your arms.

04:41Help the bear recognize you as a human.

04:43It may come closer or stand on its hind legs to get a better look or smell.

04:47It's not helping.

04:48You're being.

04:48If you're.

04:50Wait, repeat that again.

04:51I didn't quite hear it all.

04:53Yeah.

04:54Too late.

04:54Yeah.

04:55Let the bear know you're human.

04:57Then the bear asks it, Siri.

04:59Yeah.

05:00Hey, should I kill this guy?

05:04Hey, Siri, how should I cook this human?

05:09Maldon, scalp first.

05:13Rip their body to shreds.

05:15Yeah.

05:16Thanks.

05:17You know these screams of pain.

05:19Yeah.

05:20Bear, Siri.

05:22Make sure to enjoy the generals, too.

05:24Yeah, yeah.

05:24Oh, I plan to eat those first.

05:26Oh, delicacy of the humans.

05:28Oh, I guess maybe you can't.

05:30I thought, well, that's what I'll just do.

05:31I'll just hit Siri.

05:32I can't just imagine Dave's like, oh, God, the bear doesn't see me yet, but I better ask

05:38Siri.

05:39And Siri's like so loud.

05:40And it's so loud.

05:42The bear's like, oh, boo.

05:44Oh, God.

05:45No.

05:46And Siri's like, you have been detected.

05:47You can't ask goodbye.

05:48You're dead now.

05:49Yeah.

05:49Dave turns to run, slips, hits his head on a rock.

05:52At least you won't feel it.

05:53The saying is with bears.

05:55If it's black, fight back.

05:57If it's brown, laid down.

05:59If it's white, say goodnight.

06:01Yeah.

06:01And I saw a guy who was like, that rhyme.

06:07Is wrong?

06:08Tell it to go F itself.

06:10Oh.

06:10If it's a bear, attack.

06:13It's your only chance.

06:14Even if it's a, if it's like he said, if it's a brown bear, it's generally not about

06:19like black bears will attack you because the cubs are around.

06:22But then this guy was like, if it's a brown bear, fight because it's going to eat you.

06:27The toilet rhyme beat him to that with the brown flush it down.

06:31And then the yellow people are going to get that.

06:34Oh, God.

06:35Which one is it?

06:35Flush it.

06:36Flush it down.

06:37Lay down.

06:38Brown bear flushing down.

06:39That doesn't work.

06:40Yeah.

06:41Is black lead a mellow or something?

06:43I don't know.

06:44Mellow out.

06:45I'm really nervous.

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