The HR Lady

Beasley Digital

Chuck portrays a woman from Human Resources calling into the show after a couple comments this morning caught their attention.

Transcript

00:00We're going to get to some celebrity dirt on Dave and Chuck the Freak.

00:08Which actress quit Twitter?

00:10Titter.

00:12That's a new social media site.

00:15We've got to start Titter!

00:16No.

00:17Oh my God!

00:17It has to exist.

00:18Titter.com?

00:19It has to exist.

00:21Somebody owns it for a mere...

00:22Oh, it's got to be Titter!

00:23It's always on Dave's frame.

00:25T-I-T-T-Titter.com.

00:27What you call a Freudian Titter.

00:28Oh, wow.

00:29Oh, but it's like an anime game.

00:33Freudian slip.

00:33Oh, well.

00:34Yeah.

00:36Which actor quit tits?

00:39I'm tits with the news.

00:41Nah, all the tits with traffic.

00:44No, I didn't mean you, Lisa.

00:46Oh, yeah.

00:48Dave, you're crazy.

00:49I'm sorry, I'm just using an example.

00:51I don't know what's going on.

00:52Your brain is so crazy.

00:54I don't know.

00:54You say it's the craziest thing.

00:58Hello?

00:59Oh, this is HR calling me.

01:01Oh, my God.

01:03Yes.

01:04There was a problem on your show today where Dave called Lisa.

01:11I believe the term here we have written down.

01:15Tits.

01:17Oh, yeah.

01:17Time to check.

01:19Time to go to tits for the trash.

01:22We're trying to piece it together.

01:24Yeah.

01:25There was something about tits and traffic.

01:27Is that true?

01:28I don't know if I should get involved.

01:30Andy, Andy, it's up to you.

01:33You tell me if it happened or not, and then Dave's fired.

01:35Oh, I don't want to get involved with anything like that.

01:39If you don't tell me, then you're fired.

01:40He said tits.

01:41Yes.

01:42And she called her tits right to her face.

01:44Licked her right in the eyes and called her tits.

01:47Yes.

01:48And I also have something else here written down.

01:51Apparently, there's a Jewish person.

01:55That's Jason.

01:58Yes, he's very Jewish.

01:59He's a Jewish, and I have written here.

02:02Enough.

02:03The Jew?

02:04No kidding.

02:05Call him the Jew?

02:06Is that real?

02:07It's a nickname.

02:07Did that really happen?

02:09For comedic purposes, again, I think I shouldn't get involved in this.

02:13Listen, tell us if he called him the Jew or you're fired.

02:16Okay, yeah, he calls him the Jew.

02:17Hey!

02:18All right.

02:19Come on!

02:20That's all we needed.

02:21That's all we need.

02:23Stop!

02:23He's done.

02:24All right.

02:25Have a good day.

02:28Bye.

02:29Dave's face was so red.

02:31He's like, not you, not you!

02:33One day, Odyssey was just like, well, I'm a news anchor.

02:35Let's check traffic and tits.

02:38I'm like, oh, God, he's in the traffic!

02:42As it was happening, I was like, he doesn't realize!

02:46Oh, that's funny.

02:47Say weather.

02:48Say weather.

02:50Yep.

02:50Now he has tits with the forecast.

02:52There you go.

02:53That's better.

02:54That's better.

02:55All right.

02:55So, yes, let's get to celebrity dirt.

02:57And a woman went to Las Vegas police making an allegation that a celebrity swaffled her.

03:06Which is, I guess, in the right circumstance, allowed.

03:14For sure it is.

03:14In the wrong circumstance.

03:16What a wild move.

03:18Yeah, that is crazy.

03:20Let me ask this, and I'm making light of any allegations at all, but are there women who like a good swaffling?

03:26Oh, yeah, for sure.

03:28Are there women who enjoy getting slapped across the face by them?

03:32The ones I see on the internet seem to enjoy it.

03:33Yeah, but are there women in real life that like it?

03:36Yes.

03:36100%.

03:371-855-954-6969.

03:39You love a swaffle.

03:411-855-954-6969.

03:43Do you like to be swaffled?

03:464-6-9-6-9-6969.

03:47You literally went to the phones.

03:49Oh, my God.

03:49She's still here?

03:51HR lady, is that you?

03:52Someone disconnect her.

03:54Andy, be honest.

03:55What?

03:56Did he go to the phones and ask for women to call in and ask if they wanted to be beaten upon the face with a man's genitals?

04:05I mean.

04:06If you don't tell us the truth, you're fired.

04:07Well, yeah, you totally did that.

04:09Thank you very much.

04:10We're writing it down.

04:11I just don't want to be fired.

04:12We're writing it down here.

04:14You're not fired yet.

04:15Oh.

04:16But everyone else is.

04:17Okay.

04:17Oh.

04:17All right.

04:18Bye.

04:18That's it.

04:19That's the end for you.

04:21So, do you like to be swaffled?

04:2213th chance.

04:244-6-9-6-9-6-9 is text, and you can call us 1-855-954-6969.

04:29Because I think most men would enjoy two swaffle.

04:35I mean, it's a fun way to mix it up.

04:37Right?

04:37Someone said, I'll tell you who hates getting swaffled.

04:40Lesbians.

04:40Well, unless it's a fake.

04:42Unless they want a fake one.

04:44Or maybe like a strap on.

04:46I'm going to assume they don't like it.

04:48Unless they're, for whatever reason, role playing that one of them has.

04:53Maybe they do something called like the clams.

04:56The clam slam.

04:57The clam, the clam slam, no.

05:07Hello?

05:09Hi, this is HR again.

05:10Oh, God damn it.

05:11I picked up again.

05:12Andy, stop answering the phone!

05:14It rings right in front of me.

05:15Come on!

05:16Be honest here.

05:17For one second here, we just got a report.

05:21All right.

05:21Was this a James who works on the show?

05:25James Campbell?

05:26James Campbell, yeah.

05:27Can I say that I don't know him?

05:30Well, you can if you want to get fired.

05:33Okay, yeah, it's James Campbell.

05:34Okay, James Campbell.

05:35Did he say something about lesbians having...

05:39Let me read this here.

05:43There would have been anything, Andy.

05:44A clam slam?

05:46I mean, if...

05:48You will be fired.

05:49Yeah, he said clam slam.

05:51He said it.

05:52Andy.

05:53James Octavius Campbell said clam slam.

05:56Oh, wow.

05:56We just looked this man up.

05:58What is he doing with a four-foot fake penis?

06:03Well, I mean, that was...

06:05Oh, my God.

06:05His website is atrocious.

06:07He was working on an event.

06:09His Twitter is the scariest thing I've ever seen.

06:11I was getting in shape.

06:12Yeah, he works out.

06:15He was exercising, so...

06:17Well, he'll be written up along with the rest of you as well.

06:22Oh, my God.

06:22You said I was cool!

06:23No, you're not.

06:24Sounds like the HR person could use a clam slam.

06:27Hang on, Andy.

06:27Hang on.

06:27Oh, my goodness gracious.

06:29Hang on.

06:29There you go.

06:31Okay.

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