Drunk Pilot

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a pilot who was allegedly drunk at Metro Airport prior to a flight which leads to Chuck impersonating an intoxicated pilot.

Transcript

00:00A spokesperson at Detroit's Metro Airport has confirmed that an American Airlines pilot

00:15was taken into custody over the weekend, facing several charges after failing two sobriety

00:21tests.

00:23We're black, everybody.

00:27That's our pilot.

00:28Is that the pilot?

00:29That is, yeah.

00:30You guys.

00:30What are these things?

00:31Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

00:33Welcome back to the Airlines.

00:36Is he okay, you guys?

00:38He's strong.

00:39I was doing good last night, but I'll tell you what.

00:47Oh, my God.

00:48Oh, is he sleeping?

00:48Yeah, he fell asleep.

00:49Did he fall asleep?

00:50We got to get off this plane.

00:51You guys, this isn't right.

00:53Hi, everybody.

00:54Where are we going?

00:56Oh, no.

00:57Hey, everybody.

00:59We're going to Las Vegas.

01:01Oh, okay.

01:02It's a Sin City takeover.

01:05Welcome to American Airlines.

01:07I'm your pilot.

01:08And I'm going to be taking you guys to Las Vegas.

01:12Nevada.

01:13Oh, dear Christ.

01:14I don't...

01:14We're going to be in the United States of America.

01:16Oh, hey.

01:17So, you guys just buckle up.

01:18Buttercock.

01:19We're going to take off in the next 10 or 15 minutes, okay?

01:23It's going to fire up these engines.

01:26We're going to go and play, girl.

01:29Prep for landing.

01:31You just said prep for landing, and we haven't taken off.

01:37Oh, my God.

01:38No, I just said prep for landing.

01:40You can hear us right now.

01:42That's weird.

01:43That's even weirder.

01:47Hmm.

01:52Does he know that's still on?

01:54I don't think he knows that's still on.

01:55Boy, I can barely see.

01:57He did not want us to hear that.

02:04Oh, boy.

02:06I really tied one on today, Ralph.

02:10Is that right?

02:11Oh, my God.

02:14I had about 25 drinks.

02:17One hour.

02:1725 drinks in an hour.

02:20That's a lot.

02:21Welcome to your pilot speaking.

02:24He did this already.

02:29Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot's drunkest tail.

02:33Check us a beer.

02:35Flight in heaven.

02:38Listen, your flight in heaven will let you know exactly what you did in Castle Murden

02:42seeing because of me crashing this plane in the side of that mountain.

02:47He's just having a rough time right now.

02:49Listen, I'm going through some stuff, people.

02:51So, you want another trick?

02:55I'm going through just a nasty divorce right now.

02:59Oh, worst.

03:01And so, yeah.

03:02Have a couple drinks?

03:04Yeah.

03:06Have a couple of drinks.

03:08Big, what are you going to do?

03:09Call the cops on me?

03:11The cops are here.

03:17I won't be your pilot today.

03:19Hello, boy.

03:23All right, five answers.

03:25We've got to go.

03:26We've got to go.

03:28We've got to go.

03:29We've got to go.

03:30We've got to go.

03:31We've got to go.

03:34I just threw up in my mouth.

03:36Oh, no.

03:39Oh, boy.

03:42Looks like that's probably it.

03:48Ben.

03:48That's the end of that tale.

03:50It's a hell of a flight to be around.

03:52It would be crazy to see your pilot arrested.

03:54Yeah.

03:55What's going on, man?

03:57You're trying to get him out?

04:03We always joke that we think that they're drunk, but.

04:06Well, I think for a long time, it was just a, like, old school 1950s pilot.

04:12Oh, that guy.

04:13He had a cocktail with him right up on the.

04:15Yeah.

04:15Like, you heard that.

04:16They brought him a drink, right?

04:17Yeah.

04:18On the rocks.

04:18You could hear it.

04:20Attention.

04:21Ladies and gentlemen.

04:22Listen.

04:22One of you hot asses bring your captain up a Jack and Coke.

04:30Make it a double.

04:31He's smoking a cigarette.

04:32If you guys don't mind, I'm making myself a little.

04:39A little Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

04:44It's different.

04:45It's a little different background.

04:46We're going to get this plane off the ground in a few minutes.

04:49Mixing up with Tom Collins.

04:50It's the 1960s, and we have no regard for human life.

05:06Dear, we're flying the miracle of life.

05:11Hey, stewardess, I'm just going to sit in my lap.

05:15Got a hot ass on you, you know that?

05:17Tell us, if it sure gets any shorter, I'm going to be seeing your, you know, bits.

05:27All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're about to get this party started.

05:33Remember, smoking is permitted everywhere on this plane.

05:40It's Martini Hour here on 1960s air.

05:45What a time to be alive.

05:47It was different then, man.

05:49I think it's a different time to fly than it was when Frank Sinatra was ruling the airplane.

05:54It was right.

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