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Beasley Digital
  • 4/17/2025
The show talks about two women who were held in a store by security and what it would be like if Dave were to take a job as undercover security.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00two women say they were held against their will at a livonia walmart store
00:15employees accused them of shoplifting even though the women had proof that they didn't
00:22shoplift but apparently that was not good enough here's more on the story from fox 2 news take a
00:28listen as they were leaving they were approached by a plain clothed employee can he see my receipt
00:34and i said no because he was a stranger i didn't know that he was lost prevention so he said i need
00:39to verify your proof of purchase the women were hauled into a back room they were forced to sit
00:44in that back room and be interrogated for more than two hours it wasn't until a manager finally
00:49rechecked the receipt that they decide to let them go you'd be surprised though at how uh few rights
00:55you have once you step foot into this store oh i'm sure once you decide to shop there and then
01:00you're under their rules it's walmart law walmart the same at the department store i used to work
01:06at like you had rights you kind of lose your rights once you go in the store you go your whole life
01:10in walmart not realizing that these security dudes are crawling all over the place no they are honestly
01:15at even the department store i had they were all plain closed and they just pretend to be shoppers
01:20you know and they'd be walking around i had to fill in a couple of times because
01:24guys called in sick i was the worst undercover security guy ever because i'm so tall i stick
01:29out you know and i'm not what the hell are you doing yeah you're not very sly like it's really
01:34obvious yeah super spy dave i realized that career wasn't going to work out for me just doing some
01:39goddamn shopping that's it just browsing and not looking so you got it we got to be real careful
01:45they don't see you looking at them right but you have to see them steal in order to stop them at
01:50least that was our rule okay like someone couldn't say i think that guy stole something and then you
01:54could stop and then you tackle you have you have to witness it right so if i didn't see it with my
01:59own two eyes pretending to read a magazine behind the counter oh yeah that's not obvious uh then i
02:05couldn't do anything about it yeah yeah people are like well i'm not gonna put this in my pants with
02:12that big tall narc over there like look at him yeah loss prevention day was not a success yeah he's
02:21peeking through one of the aisles at you he's got like cop sunglasses on and a cop haircut
02:26and a button-down shirt i don't think he's really looking at candles no i don't think so
02:33his badge says undercover security
02:35i have a shirt that's an FBI temporary undercover security
02:40got it custom made
02:44dave
02:46dave
02:49dave temporary undercover security
02:51i'm just browsing like you man
02:53it's embroidered in his shirt
02:54he's got different shirts for different uh whatever he has to do that day
02:58you know i'm working the register i got that shirt
03:02totally just shopping
03:05just a shopper like you man yeah these deals are a real steal
03:11craziness huh god they're almost like they're giving it away might as well just steal it what do
03:15you think yeah he's trying to talk people to steal
03:18yeah that's way something to do you know i'm sure if you lifted that up you could just walk right out
03:22the door with it isn't that crazy you ever just wake up and feel like today's a stealing day
03:26i mean why pay pay the man are you kidding
03:29yeah just take this i'm thinking about stealing all this stuff
03:34i'll uh i'll check uh make sure the coast is clear for you
03:40sometimes you need a lookout you need a spotter man i'll spot you
03:44they put something in their pants and he just clubs them over the head
03:49hit some with a turkey or something
03:52shoots him in the leg
03:53oh yeah shoot with a bullet real gun
03:55you're not running you son of a bitch
03:59easily talked into stealing
04:01dave hunter temporary undercover security
04:05you better look out
04:10oh dave just killed another guy
04:13you fell for it sucker
04:14i came on the scene like a flash of lightning of justice
04:19talking like grandma's into
04:22he's like go ahead put in your pants
04:25no one's even looking
04:29i don't think i should
04:30no seriously you're elderly
04:32it's fine
04:33it's fine
04:34he's on the lookout
04:36you see this chick like gonna hover around like
04:40drive down an aisle and then just a six foot five dude just tackles her
04:44he throws down some spike strips
04:48oh yeah
04:49cartony rail
04:51adam on twitter says he feels like
04:54the pink panther theme would be playing if i was undercover security walking around
04:59oh that's dave panther
05:01yeah he's undercover security it says you know it says it right on his shirt there
05:06yeah it's not really that hard he's the only guy here in dress pants
05:09he's got a gun
05:11yeah he's got a gun
05:12it's drawn
05:13he's the best dressed guy in the whole place
05:18a couple of days ago i came in here and he tried talking me into stealing something
05:23oh he does that all the time that's his move
05:25oh god yeah he'll try and talk you into stealing
05:27he was putting stuff down his pants and telling me how easy it was
05:30no that's his move
05:31i saw him do it to an elderly woman then he killed her
05:33oh i read about that
05:35yeah it was a big story but he got off somehow on a technicality
05:38a walmart law
05:39yeah it's walmart law right so he lives and breathes by walmart law
05:42i think he comes up with the law
05:45he's staring at us right now
05:47all right well it's time to get out of here because he's been known to just shoot
05:51he's hanging upside down out of one of the ceiling tiles
05:54oh there he is there yeah
05:55what are you two up to
05:57oh boy
05:58not stealing undercover dave
06:00how did you spot me
06:02not stealing normal shopping guy dave
06:05fellow patron
06:09of this store
06:10we can't wait to pay for our articles that we're putting in our carts
06:14undercover dave
06:18yeah i like it
06:19coming soon to a store near you
06:20yeah
06:21yeah
06:25yes