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Beasley Digital
  • 4/17/2025
During a news story about a restaurant that had some dine and dashers Dave remembers the time he got dined and dashed by a huge table of diners.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Even as a teen, I never had the balls to dine and dash from anywhere.
00:14No, me either.
00:15No.
00:16Could never do it.
00:16I couldn't either.
00:17No one has ever done it in this room, have they?
00:20No, I'm way too good a bitch.
00:22Oh, yeah.
00:22It happened to me at Red Lobster.
00:23I had a full table of people just leave.
00:26Oh.
00:27I went into the kitchen to prepare their pillows.
00:29And that was, well, Lisa, what's so funny about that?
00:31No, god damn it.
00:33Come on.
00:34That's funny.
00:35Well, they must have went to the bathroom.
00:37I'll just wait for a few more seconds.
00:39Teenage day.
00:39That was like a big table.
00:40My only table.
00:42I'll wait for just two more minutes.
00:44They were an easy target.
00:46They saw you.
00:46That's exactly what happened.
00:48Can you imagine?
00:48They were like, my God.
00:51Did you see our waiter?
00:53Okay, listen.
00:54Listen, I would never normally even suggest dining and dashing, but there's no way we have
01:00to pay this tall guy.
01:01Oh, we can't pay him.
01:02He was singing the Schweppes.
01:03Oh, yeah.
01:04We gotta.
01:05You guys are jackasses.
01:07Let's wait till he goes to the kitchen.
01:08Poor teenage Gabe, the Red Lobster waiter, relying on his tips to survive.
01:12Look at him walking over there.
01:14He's so flustered right now.
01:15He's barely hanging on to that tray.
01:20He's almost dropped stuff like four or five times.
01:22I bet if he goes in the kitchen, we can just get up and leave.
01:25It was a table of ten, so they knew I couldn't handle more than that, so that was like my
01:29one big table for the night.
01:31And they left those jackasses.
01:33That's so not cool.
01:34They all asked for individual bills.
01:36But also for Dave to allow ten people to dine and dash.
01:44They all asked for individual bills.
01:46That's incredible.
01:46So I had to go into the kitchen, and I was going through bit by, it took me like ten minutes
01:50just to figure out.
01:52Oh, man.
01:52So you did all that work on their bills?
01:54I did all the work.
01:54I did all the work.
01:55I did all the bills, and I came out like, Jesus Christ, they're gone.
01:58You know, Dave, too, like, it was ten people, so all their orders were just so organized
02:02and put together.
02:03Alphabetical, alphabetical.
02:05Dave's like, well, seat one there, he had the biscuits, and the admiral's planner.
02:11I'll guarantee it.
02:12Real thorough.
02:14I also wonder if the one had even planned on paying, but then it took Dave so goddamn
02:20long, in the back, they were like, forget it!
02:23We're leaving!
02:24And it's funny, though, that ten people were able to leave at once.
02:27Because it's always just two people.
02:29Right.
02:29At the most, it's four people.
02:31Dave had ten people do it to him.
02:35A table of ten.
02:37What'd you do?
02:38Oh, I screamed.
02:39They're gone!
02:41No!
02:42No!
02:43No!
02:46Did you go out in the parking lot and look for them?
02:48Yes, of course I did!
02:49Yes, he did.
02:50I'm done now with my wee red lobster apron on.
02:54Anyone seen ten people?
02:57They totally didn't pay the bill!
02:59Yeah, they left 15 minutes ago.
03:01Yes, everyone was up at the window looking at me, because I was running around looking in
03:05cars.
03:05I thought I'd maybe still be able to get a few of them.
03:07You were looking at the cars!
03:09I thought they were hiding out, Andy!
03:10No, no, they're not hiding out, Dave.
03:13I mean, the frantic search for those ten people.
03:16I wish I could have seen footage of that.
03:19Poor Dave.
03:19Yeah, I made it all the way to the table, and I was still reviewing all their bills, and
03:22then I get there, I'm like, Jesus Christ, they're gone!
03:25Hey!
03:26I did scream, too.
03:27My manager gave me hell for screaming.
03:28He said, I shouldn't have done that.
03:30Imagine the other people eating, and there's the waiter just screaming.
03:35There's a table right next to the table of ten that was eating, and they see Dave come
03:38over with his ten little things with the bills in it.
03:41But they also, they know that these people like Dine and Dash, because it took them a
03:46good amount of time for ten people.
03:48You know, they were like, we got it, come on, let's go, we got to get out of here before
03:51Andre the Giant gets back here, let's go!
03:55Yeah, I asked them, like, as I was running out, I asked, did anyone see them?
04:01They're like, yeah, we all saw them, it was ten of them.
04:06It was the big group of ten running people.
04:09Someone says, I still have PTSD.
04:10I did for a while, I was so untrusting.
04:13Like, I'd be in the kitchen with one eye out, looking at my tables, making sure they
04:18wouldn't leave.
04:19Yeah, you kind of have to be after something like that.
04:21How many times did Dave just yell at someone just getting up to you?
04:25Use the bathroom.
04:25Hey!
04:27Where are you goddamn going?
04:29I just see the loss of innocence.
04:31Seen this before.
04:32Making them real dark at the tables for the next one.
04:34He's like, oh, okay, you want the Admiral's Feast or whatever?
04:37Okay, cool.
04:38Well, you're probably not going to pay for it anyway, because that's how society works,
04:40right?
04:41Yeah.
04:42That's what people do these days.
04:43Nobody cares about each other.
04:44So, I'll go get your free food for you.
04:49Someone said I'd be in the parking lot calling them a million whores.
04:52Oh, I call I said a lot of things.
04:53Imagine Dave caught them?
04:54Imagine Dave...
04:55No, guys, imagine Dave caught them.
04:58Or caught the wrong people.
05:02They're trying to speed out, and he grabs the back of their car, and it just burns out.
05:07Oh, he lifts it off the ground.
05:09Yeah, that was my experience with people dining and dashing, the one I'll never forget.
05:15When you spend $500 at Red Lobster, it's trouble.
05:17And Dave, you know Dave's, like, dancing in the back, like, boop.
05:19Oh, I was?
05:20Totally.
05:20Do you have a giant tip?
05:22Do you have a giant tip go out?
05:24Do you have a giant tip go out?
05:26Do you have a dance the night away?
05:27Great service.
05:28Earn my money.
05:29Great service.
05:29Earn my money.
05:31Dave's just busting his ass.
05:33Oh, yeah.
05:34Like, I noticed your Coke was running low.
05:36I bought you another one.
05:38All right, see you on the bat.
05:39I noticed your basket of buns was getting low here.
05:43I bought you a brand new.
05:44And they're like, oh, baby.
05:45Thank you, man.
05:47Thank you, Dave.
05:52I was really, and I was thinking that, too.
05:54I'm like, this is awesome.
05:55It is unusual to order two Ultimate Feasts, but I got it.
05:58I got it for you, man.
05:59That's on.
06:00Yep.
06:01The Ultimate Feast.
06:03That was it.