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Gas Station Fight
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a brawl that took place at a gas station in Birmingham.
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
Birmingham police are trying to get to the bottom of what started a brawl at a gas station
00:12
on Maple Road.
00:13
Five people started assaulting each other, it looks like in three different cars, at
00:18
the mobile station on Maple Road.
00:20
All the people left the station before the cops arrived.
00:22
One of them came back, though.
00:24
No arrests or injuries were reported.
00:25
And the video, just the surveillance video, it's hard to really tell what...
00:30
Was it like a white person brawl?
00:32
Like, you know...
00:33
I don't think it is.
00:34
Rich Birmingham?
00:35
That's what you would think it would be.
00:36
That's how I assume a brawl goes in Birmingham, like if Chuck and Andy were...
00:42
I dare say!
00:44
Sir, cut me off, you...
00:46
Just, you're a bastard is what you are.
00:49
Clearly, I have the right of way in this scenario.
00:52
Here's my handbook on driving.
00:54
You don't, I've checked both my smartphone apps.
00:57
Oh, really?
00:58
I'm a liar!
00:59
You're a liar and you're going to jail.
01:01
You, sir, are a son of a bitch!
01:03
I think we should fight.
01:05
I think we should duel!
01:06
We should lock in fisticuffs.
01:08
Let me take these white gloves off and slap you upon the face, we'll put in a...
01:11
I need to take my...
01:12
Slap!
01:13
I'm gonna...
01:13
Oh!
01:14
In the face!
01:15
Oh, you're getting an ascot to the face.
01:17
Oh!
01:19
Oh, you dirty, dirty son of a...
01:21
Ascot!
01:21
Take that, I have to take my blazer off.
01:24
Yeah, listen.
01:25
There are some ground rules here before we brawl.
01:27
All right.
01:29
Don't mess with each other's hair.
01:30
No, this is expensive hair, right?
01:32
Do not mess these slacks.
01:34
Those are nice slacks, I must say.
01:36
You have a fantastic pair of slacks yourself!
01:38
I like the cut of your jib, sir.
01:40
But I do not like the way you drive.
01:42
I believe we should take our shoes off, because these, of course, are Corinthian leather.
01:47
I just had a mani-pedi.
01:50
Those toes do look nice.
01:52
Look at them.
01:53
Drink them in before they kick you in the face.
01:58
If those are the last things I see, then I've lived a good life.
02:01
You have.
02:03
Here in Birmingham.
02:05
Birmingham.
02:05
The streets will run red with your blood today!
02:09
Yes, they will.
02:10
And because we pay our taxes just right here, they will clean it up very promptly.
02:16
I have fencing gear.
02:18
Do you want to fence?
02:19
Oh, yes, of course.
02:20
Okay, that's how we'll handle it.
02:21
I am no novice when it comes to fencing, good sir.
02:24
Nor I!
02:25
But God, good sir.
02:27
Don't hit the Bentley, though.
02:30
Don't hit the cars.
02:31
Oh, yeah, no.
02:32
You scratched my Bentley.
02:34
Now you must die.
02:36
Did I scratch your Bentley?
02:37
You did.
02:38
You did.
02:38
Let me put my feet...
02:38
Well, kill me, then, because I just...
02:40
You understand.
02:40
I cannot afford to fix that.
02:42
No, you cannot.
02:43
I'm going to put my beautiful feet away here and...
02:46
Choke the life out of you.
02:49
Yep.
02:50
You're listening to a Birmingham gas station.
02:52
The feet look for me.
02:54
I'm sorry it came to this.
02:56
Your feet smell of cucumber?
02:59
They were soaking them overnight.
03:05
It's a little different.
03:06
I don't think that's how the brawl went, though.
03:08
No.
03:08
Judging by the video.
03:10
It was more like, I'm going to kick your ass, bitch!
03:13
I'm going to kick your ass, bitch!
03:14
No, bitch!
03:15
You're a bitch!
03:15
Oh, you are a bitch!
03:19
There were some guys that were like, God damn it, get out of here.
03:22
Fast.
03:23
Oh, jeez.
03:24
Somebody needs to alert me.
03:26
Alert the police.
03:28
There are scared white people here.
03:29
This is burning hair, for goodness sakes!
03:32
Oh, boy!
03:34
Yeah, the response would have been swift and painful.
03:37
Dirk was quite a boring thing.
03:40
I was eating a scone, and I looked out, and two ragamuffins were out there fighting.
03:45
Oh, dear heaven.
03:46
I tell you, it's all true.
03:50
I was there, and I saw a toll.
03:52
He did.
03:53
We got in a fight first.
03:54
I took my shoes off and showed him my mani-pedi that you recommended.
03:57
Turns out, after that, we were great buddies.
03:59
We went to play polo.
04:00
Had so much in common.
04:03
We were both so rich.
04:04
We both love Earl Grey tea.
04:07
Can you believe it?
04:11
I fancied him a chamomile man at first, dear.
04:15
What a shock it was.
04:17
The best of friends at the unlikeliest of moments.
04:21
Right before thrashing.
04:22
The tale of how two gentlemen met at the Birmingham gas station.
04:31
Yeah.
04:32
I bet the people were probably, the witnesses were probably scared to death.
04:36
Oh, yeah.
04:37
Well, listen.
04:38
God!
04:39
Can I just tell you what I saw for just two godlessed seconds?
04:44
First off, I'm at the gas station trying to get some high-grade quality gas in my Bentley.
04:51
Finally, I hear this noise.
04:54
What sounds like Snoop Dogg and his whole crew rolling up.
04:59
And sure enough, a black guy in a Camaro jumps out of his car and starts pummeling another black guy.
05:07
It was the most black people I've seen in probably six or seven years.
05:11
You must have been petrified.
05:13
Honestly, it's the most black people I've seen since watching a Lions game.
05:18
Oh, dear Christ.
05:19
That many?
05:20
That many.
05:20
So I just, I hid under my car and hoped for the best.
05:25
I got on my cell phone.
05:27
I called the authorities and they just came down and they choked them and tased them all
05:31
and shot two of them.
05:34
Are you going to tail this in a book?
05:38
Yes, an autobiography.
05:39
I'm going to, of course, pen with a ghostwriter.
05:42
You know, you wouldn't give out your real name.
05:45
Yeah, no.
05:46
It's too dangerous.
05:47
I bet you were scared to death.
05:49
Oh, my God.
05:51
I was very frightened.
05:54
You were shaken in your brown hiking shoes.
05:56
Oh, boy.
05:57
I almost spit out my latte.
06:00
I almost spit out my latte.
06:00
I almost spit out my latte.
06:00
I almost spit out my latte.
06:00
I almost spit out my latte.
06:00
I almost spit out my latte.
06:02
I almost spit out my latte.
06:04
I almost spit out my latte.
06:04
I almost spit out my latte.
06:06
I almost spit out my latte.
06:06
I almost spit out my latte.
06:08
I almost spit out my latte.
06:09
I almost spit out my latte.
06:10
I almost spit out my latte.
06:11
I almost spit out my latte.
06:12
I almost spit out my latte.
06:13
I almost spit out my latte.
06:15
I almost spit out my latte.
06:16
I almost spit out my latte.
06:17
I almost spit out my latte.
06:19
I almost spit out my latte.
06:20
I almost spit out my latte.
06:25
I almost spit out my latte.
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