Ken's Doom Metal Yoga

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a new trend in the world of yoga and wonder what it would be like if Ken was the instructor.

Transcript

00:00have you heard of doom metal yoga no no no this is Lisa's new thing though it lets you rock out

00:15slow and powerfully to find inner peace so when you do yoga at least is it like do they have

00:23music is it like calming music or um yeah they have different they have different types of music

00:28they have I'm like where did that come from it's Chuck she was looking at me I was like I got

00:34nothing I don't like why is there birds and soft music no no no I mean though there's just regular

00:40kind of music I don't know what kind of music you'd even say it is it's like it's like new age

00:46music no like music you'd hear on the radio oh type music pop type stuff I don't even know what

00:53it is though but then there's some relaxing music too but there's nothing nothing heavy

00:58yeah could you do yoga to doom metal no I could do that ddp yoga to doom metal no problem because

01:07it's all it's different it's about like shooting energy out your fingertips

01:11you know what I mean so if you're doing that like uh where I take yoga doom metal would not

01:19go over people would walk out yeah really yeah yeah they couldn't handle it but like maybe like

01:24in a downtown ferndale yeah it would have to be something like that yeah yeah that could work

01:30you'd have to tell people though okay you're coming to a doom metal class don't just surprise

01:34them with that like a riff maybe we should like a sponsor like a riff doom metal yoga class

01:38ken's the teacher ken all right everybody find your center

01:42nothing goes together like riff and yoga

01:46notice how I can put my leg completely behind my head you too will be able to do this

01:54and ken's doom metal yoga

01:56could you imagine if ken was that limber and we just didn't know it

02:06look how dainty my toes are all right everyone ready

02:13by the end of the session you will be able to twist yourself into a pretzel just like me

02:20ken does the happy baby pose that's what there's a pose called the happy

02:25look it up because it's so it's so funny just to think about

02:28ken doing the happy baby pose

02:31no

02:33oh my lord can you imagine ken in that position

02:38no no thanks

02:40i like that position

02:42it's a fun one

02:43jeezy peaks

02:45i mean i don't want to see ken in that position

02:47so describe that position for those who can't see it chuck

02:52uh it's your legs is spread apart as they can get

02:54your hands pushing your knees down and your fingers holding onto your toes

02:59i find smoking a cigarette helps loosen your muscles

03:03enough to get spread eagle like this

03:07like you're about to tape a porno

03:10james you think you could do that the happy baby pose

03:13you think that's something your body would be able to get around

03:15oh not a chance

03:16i need some practice before i can do the happy baby pose

03:20yeah

03:20that's actually the pose i'd probably do if i had too much taco bell with constipation

03:24gotta find some relief

03:27i love your choice of the bong of satan as well as the song that we're playing right now

03:33we're playing bong of satan

03:35bong of satan

03:36yeah

03:36that's the death metal music i figured i'd uh

03:39a little doom metal to get the morning going

03:41yeah

03:41oh picturing ken leading any kind of yoga class

03:45is a wonderful thought

03:46by the end of it you're gonna be able to look eye to eye with your own ball sack

03:50just like me

03:52look up the frog pose

03:54ken in the frog pose

03:58a ribbit

03:59i'm gonna show you a pose and make you go ribbit

04:02oh wow

04:02wow that's a taking it in the back door pose

04:05oh boys

04:05that's the i got a fart stuck

04:08get out of the way pose

04:09i'll get it loose for you

04:11yeah

04:12we wouldn't want to see ken like that

04:13good gracious

04:14it's also how my dog lays when she chews on a bone

04:18oh my god look at this one

04:22oh jesus

04:23there's another version of the frog pose

04:25easy

04:26how would you ever recover from that

04:27oh man how do your legs even do some of this stuff

04:29it's a good stretch

04:31good stretch for you

04:32oh my god

04:33no that is nude

04:34that is nude

04:35why is he nude

04:37well there's nude yoga

04:38there's nude yoga

04:39that's the chocolate frog pose

04:41the old chocolate frog

04:44ribbit ribbit

04:46wow

04:47didn't expect that in the old image search

04:49i did not

04:50but you got it

04:53oh it would be hilarious too

04:54because in reality

04:56it would just be

04:57ken trying to sit cross-legged

04:59you know

05:01and like

05:01we didn't get here this week

05:03but maybe next time

05:04turns out flexibility is something you gotta work up to

05:09you should do this until you hear a distinctive snap

05:18oh there goes the knee

05:23ends do metal

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