Tongue Injury

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman who bit her boyfriends tongue off in an argument and the show recreates how hard it would be for him to talk.

Transcript

00:00All right, off to Grand Rapids now,

00:10where a story about a woman losing her mind on her boyfriend.

00:14She took it a little too far.

00:15Aaron Hallowell just wanted to kiss and make up.

00:17His girlfriend had other ideas, though.

00:20She bit part of his tongue off during a fight in their Northwest Grand Rapids apartment.

00:26The 29-year-old woman is charged with a 10-year felony of mayhem.

00:32It's like the Canadian charge of mischief.

00:34It's even more.

00:35But worse.

00:36Mayhem.

00:37I've never even heard of it.

00:39It's not clear how much of his tongue was bitten off in the fight.

00:43During the hearing, however, a prosecutor showed him a photo,

00:46apparently taken by police investigating it,

00:48in which he's holding a piece of his tongue in his hand.

00:51That piece could not be reattached.

00:54Jesus.

00:54When are we going to be thucky right now?

00:57He was able to speak fairly well.

01:00At the court hearing.

01:03Sir, can you describe what happened on that night?

01:06I'm not really keen on talking about it, but let me tell you.

01:14We're in a fight.

01:15Next thing I know,

01:17that my tongue bit off and that I'm holding a piece of my tongue in my hand.

01:23And, well, I'm really glad I can actually still talk,

01:28but it's not, it couldn't be reattached.

01:33So, there's a few different sounds I can make anymore.

01:38So there's definite long-term impact then on your speech.

01:41I'm pretty sure I'm never going to have sex again.

01:44Really?

01:44And why would you believe that, sir?

01:46Oh, well, because, uh, listen to me.

01:50Um, that's how I sound now.

01:54And also my, um,

01:57Funderwingers game

01:58has taken a real, real hit.

02:03You know what I'm...

02:04I'm sorry, just to clarify,

02:05you no longer believe you'll be able to...

02:07I can't go down on a chick at all.

02:11I mean, honestly...

02:12Even with, not with that tongue nubbing?

02:14That's all I got is the tongue nubbing.

02:17I mean, it's, um...

02:18Excuse me, no, he cannot.

02:22Expert testimony here from a, uh,

02:24woman on the end of the funneling.

02:26A tongue nubbing.

02:27They just get, they get, like, an ex,

02:28like a woman, a funnelingus expert.

02:31She's like,

02:31Your Honor, this tongue is completely useless

02:34to, uh, to a slitterist.

02:40There's not, I mean,

02:41it's not going to do anything.

02:43I didn't say that.

02:44An expected...

02:45That's not a selling point.

02:47A tongue.

02:48No, all right, daddy.

02:49Pop no panty doll.

02:50Listen.

02:51Listen.

02:52I'm gonna...

02:53Listen.

02:53Lay down,

02:56cause I'm gonna...

02:57I'm gonna go down now.

03:00I'm gonna blow your mind.

03:03Let me...

03:03Let me know if you feel anything.

03:09Okay?

03:09Oh, boy.

03:11Here we go.

03:13There'd be no action to it either.

03:16It would just be sort of like...

03:17Oh, my God.

03:20Oh, that is...

03:21So, you said, I was like,

03:22No!

03:24No, he can't.

03:24Back to the testimony.

03:25There's also some words or things you can no longer do.

03:28I'm still fingering now.

03:30What I can tell.

03:31What I can't.

03:32I'm sorry.

03:33Turn down.

03:34I can't whistle anytime.

03:35Don't worry, you too.

03:36Can you whistle?

03:39Yeah.

03:40Whistling's fine.

03:41But, um...

03:42But it's more about talking.

03:44You know?

03:45If whistling got weighties,

03:47I would be fine.

03:48But, um...

03:49Chicks hate whistles.

03:51So, uh...

03:52What they like is kind of wingus

03:55and also a guy who talks normal.

03:59So, uh...

04:01Both of those is not me.

04:03And we understand you're confined to eating just soft foods now.

04:07Well, until the...

04:08Until my tongue heals,

04:10it's really hard

04:11because everything I put in my mouth really hurts really bad.

04:15I got my tongue bit off.

04:16You know what I'm saying?

04:17No, I absolutely...

04:19I understand.

04:19That's very clear.

04:21What kind of soft foods are you enjoying?

04:24Pudding by now.

04:25Pudding.

04:25I plan on becoming about 800 pounds now because...

04:31Well, you can't eat an ice cream cone.

04:33Not the cone,

04:34but I can eat the ice cream.

04:37I can't wick it, though.

04:40What can't you do?

04:41I can't wick it.

04:43I got to just sort of chomp on it with my whips.

04:48That's messy.

04:50Super messy.

04:51It gets a real dwippy

04:52because I can't get any of the dwips.

04:55You know?

04:56Oh, you can't lick up anything on your face, right?

04:59Can't I get the dwips on the cone,

05:00you know, when it's starting to melt?

05:02Yeah.

05:02And you got to get the bottom?

05:03Yeah.

05:03Yeah, that's not for me.

05:05And I can sometimes...

05:07I guess I have to put my bottom lip on it.

05:12Wife is different.

05:13Life has really changed for you, sir.

05:14Wife is really sucking, guys.

05:17So you believe she should serve the full 10 years behind bars

05:20for what she did to you?

05:21Yeah.

05:22Yeah.

05:23Yes.

05:23I think we should put her to death.

05:25Oh.

05:26I'm never going to have sex again.

05:30She deserves to die.

05:31Well, I'm sure you'll find someone.

05:34I wish you the best.

05:35Yeah, I should be able to find a nice girl

05:38who talks exactly like me.

05:40That's what I want.

05:43You know, I was normal two weeks ago, right?

05:47So, um, not really what I was looking forward to in life.

05:53I understand, sir.

05:54Thanks for your time.

05:56All right.

05:57See you later.

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