Francis Re-Teaches Me The Food Pyramid

Barstool Sports

3/26/2025

Dana B | Dana Learns

Transcript

00:00I'm going to teach you about the food pyramid today.

00:02Two things I love.

00:04Food and pyramids.

00:06Are you a pyramids guy?

00:07Well, I'm Egyptian, so yeah.

00:08Look at that.

00:09Naturally, yes.

00:10We are combining two of your favorite things.

00:12Yes.

00:13So what do you know about the food pyramid?

00:15Nothing. Zero.

00:16Top of the pyramid.

00:17This is sugar.

00:20How are you going to fit all the words in there?

00:21Fat.

00:22I'll figure that out.

00:23Just relax.

00:23No, no. How are you going to fit?

00:25It can't be that small.

00:26Like, there has to be layers to it.

00:31That's not the whole pyramid, you moron.

00:34That's the top tier.

00:36I'm going to draw down from here.

00:38Oh.

00:39I mean, to be fair, that is a pyramid at the top.

00:42It's a triangle.

00:43I thought you were doing your whole pyramid that small.

00:46No, of course I'm not going to do it that small.

00:48All right. All right.

00:49Continue.

00:50That's such a Zoolander comment.

00:52What is this?

00:52This is a center for ants, sugar, fat, oils.

00:57Recommendation?

00:59Sparingly.

00:59So that's our dessert tier.

01:01Do you have a sweet tooth?

01:02Um, yeah.

01:05Around 9 p.m. I usually have some sort of ice cream, cereal, Italian ice.

01:11Sometimes like a milkshake.

01:13Wow.

01:14Typically six out of seven days a week.

01:18I have the same craving for sugar after a meal that a lot of people do for cigarettes.

01:22Yeah.

01:22A lot of people have to have a smoke after a meal.

01:25I wish I was ripping cigs instead of custard.

01:28All right, next tier down, right?

01:30You're going to run out of room on the sides there.

01:32Don't you worry about that.

01:33This is milk, dairy products, okay?

01:36Yeah.

01:36This is where, though, we start to get into some of the controversy, right?

01:40Because a lot of people in this country are lactose intolerant.

01:43Yeah.

01:43And so for there to be this universal food prescription of how you're supposed to eat

01:47and what servings you should have right off the bat with milk and dairy being its own tier.

01:52You're kind of fucking the whole group of people.

01:54Doesn't really apply to a lot of people.

01:56They say two to three servings, okay?

01:59One yogurt, that might be more than a serving.

02:02Or maybe that's one serving.

02:03And then you have a cheese stick right there.

02:05You've cooked your dairy intake.

02:07I'm fucked then because I have at least four cheese sticks when I open the pack.

02:11Are you for real?

02:12They're so good. I love cheese.

02:14The string cheese?

02:15I could just sit and eat cheese for like every meal I would.

02:19This is proteins.

02:22That's your chickens, your turkeys, fish, eggs, and nuts.

02:27I think it's two to three servings here as well.

02:29How's your protein intake?

02:31A lot of chicken.

02:32Fried?

02:33If I can get grilled, I'll get grilled.

02:36But you know, every now and then you gotta get some fucking tenders in you.

02:39Do you?

02:40You know what I've been eating lately?

02:41What?

02:42Now that I'm in my jack stage.

02:44Ground turkey and ground beef mixed together.

02:48Toss some fucking cheese on that bitch with some hot sauce.

02:50The thing you gotta worry about with the cheese is the milk fat.

02:53I've never worried about my milk fat once in my entire life.

02:56Well, if you're finishing six out of seven nights of the week with a milkshake,

03:02you might want to worry about your milk fat.

03:04Yeah, but you know, it tastes good.

03:08All right, this is where things start to get a little weird.

03:10I'm not gonna lie.

03:10Here we have vegetables and here we have fruit.

03:16That's what we call one of my friends because he had big balls.

03:19Fruits?

03:19Yeah, we call them fruits.

03:21That's funny.

03:21Grapefruits, yeah.

03:22That is funny.

03:22He's got huge balls.

03:23Yeah, some of them called me Mike back in college from micropenis.

03:28You've all determined each other's nicknames based on your...

03:31Our penises.

03:32Genitalia.

03:33Yeah.

03:34I don't really necessarily believe in this.

03:36I think that, you know, you could eat as many vegetables as you want and you'd be fine.

03:41This is where you get into the controversy with vegetarians being offended.

03:46How can you limit my vegetables?

03:49That's all I eat.

03:50If you take off the fruit, there's a fruititarian that would probably be offended.

03:53And nobody feels bad for the fruititarians.

03:56Yeah, dude.

03:57Except if someone was a cheese head like you and you took the cheese off, then you'd say,

04:03how dare you?

04:04I'd be pissed.

04:05Don't take the cheese off.

04:06I eat four cheese sticks at a go.

04:08I'd be pissed.

04:09Now, here's where the big controversy is.

04:12You ready for this?

04:12I'm ready.

04:13What do you think's left?

04:14Like wheat or oats or carbs.

04:16That's exactly right.

04:17This is grains, rice, bread.

04:23Yeah, baby.

04:24Pasta, cereal.

04:26Yeah.

04:27Yeah.

04:28This is my kingdom.

04:29Guess how many servings of this they initially said that we're supposed to have?

04:34Seven to eight.

04:36Six to eleven servings.

04:38I'm doing pretty damn well.

04:40Yeah, I'm doing good.

04:41I got Domino's cheesy bread.

04:43I'm set.

04:43What we have now come to learn is that this one needs to be a lot bigger.

04:49Throw that bitch on the bottom.

04:50You should probably increase veggies more.

04:52Maybe limit your milk fat a little bit more.

04:55But let's be honest, it's the best type of stuff.

04:58In 2005, they did a rebrand with something that looked a little more like this.

05:05And then there was a guy climbing up these stairs to emphasize that there should be exercise happening.

05:13So it had grains, vegetables, fruit, milk, meat, and beans.

05:18But that was in 2005.

05:19And then in 2011, they just redrew it as a plate that had four categories.

05:25Come on, man.

05:26We're turning our fucking triangles into circles?

05:29Fruits, grains, protein, veg, okay?

05:34And then out here as a little side thought was dairy.

05:38There.

05:38That they wanted us to divide it into.

05:40Look at this, it says veg.

05:41Yeah.

05:44This is the evolution of the food pyramid.

05:47It's not bad.

05:48That's not bad, you know?

05:50Your joke?

05:51No, it's not a joke, I'm saying.

05:52Let me ask you something.

05:53You didn't have that stain when we started.

05:55No, I spilled it.

05:56Okay, I thought it was drool.

05:57I'm saying...

05:59Just thinking about the food pyramid.

06:02But isn't it crazy to think that that was not too long ago

06:05that they came out and said that that was how we should eat?

06:07I like that one a lot.

06:09That's probably closer to how you eat.

06:10I haven't had a veggie in a couple days, but...

06:12You haven't had a vegetable in a couple days?

06:15What, do I have to?

06:16I mean...

06:17Anything green or nothing?

06:20Well, over the weekend, I was doing a lot of drinking and eating pizza and stuff, so...

06:26A lot of gold and yellow and khaki.

06:30Does pepperoni count as a vegetable?

06:33No, that's, I guess, a protein, but a highly processed one.

06:37I had a pepper on the side.

06:40I had a calzone.

06:42No.

06:44I had an Elios pizza.

06:47We're really sort of staying on brand here.

06:49I had Dunkin' Donuts breakfast sandwich.

06:52I get, no, yeah, I didn't have a green all weekend, fuck.

06:56No green.

06:56Yeah, yesterday I had spaghetti and meatballs.

06:59No vegetable.

07:00A turkey sandwich.

07:02No green on that.

07:03So that's going on four days.

07:05You strike me as someone who's going to develop a disease like scurvy.

07:08What?

07:09Do I have to be on a ship for that?

07:11No, you just need to not have access to any sort of vitamins.

07:14That's, wow, that kind of puts things in perspective.

07:17Mm-hmm.

07:18I haven't had a vegetable in multiple days.

07:20I haven't had a vegetable in multiple days.

07:22Yeah.

07:22Maybe five days.

07:26What is a diet that you think you could get to realistically?

07:30I like vegetables.

07:31I just don't really have them readily available when I like, as much as I would like to.

07:35Why is that?

07:36I don't, I don't buy them.

07:38Why don't you buy them?

07:39Because I don't want them.

07:40Why don't you want them?

07:41I mean, because I'd rather have beef.

07:46You'd rather have beef than a carrot.

07:49I like vegetables.

07:51I just don't go out of my way to get them.

07:53How do they find your way to you?

07:54They have to be, just miraculously appear?

07:56If somebody is like, hey, let's go make these for dinner tonight.

08:00So you wouldn't order a vegetable at a restaurant?

08:03I'd eat, maybe.

08:05I'd have some peas.

08:06You never think, oh, I'm doing this and that, and let's get a side of broccoli rabe or broccolini

08:12or something like that?

08:13Yeah, but if the menu says cheesy potatoes, I'm getting that.

08:18Yeah.

08:19But what about if they have a side of Brussels sprouts?

08:21I'll eat the sprouts.

08:22Fruits and vegetables need to be on a plate in front of you where you don't even know

08:27how they got there.

08:28If I'm out at a cookout getting fucked up with my boys and there's a plate of watermelon,

08:33I'm eating it.

08:34Good.

08:34Yeah.

08:35You should think about doing that more.

08:37All right, that's the food pyramid, Dana.

08:38Love it.

08:39Thank you, Franny.

Francis Re-Teaches Me The Food Pyramid

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