Dana Beers Learns How To Tell A Standup Joke, Featuring Hannah Berner

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Francis | Francis Tutors Dana Beers

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00:00Ever since I graduated from a top elite university,

00:04I've wondered, how little can one man know?

00:07What is the depth to which the human brain

00:10can fend off information and refuse to learn?

00:14How stupid can one person actually be?

00:17Thanks to Proper Wild, I get to find out

00:20exactly how dumb Dana Beers is.

00:23Dana.

00:24Hey, what's up, bud?

00:26Good to see you.

00:27Thanks for that.

00:28Today we're gonna be learning about something

00:29that is very near and dear to my heart,

00:32and I'm not talking about cholesterol.

00:34Ah, is that a joke at me, or is that?

00:36Honestly, it's weirdly a joke at me.

00:38I actually have high cholesterol,

00:39but it's hereditary.

00:41I don't have high cholesterol somehow.

00:44I'm just fat.

00:45Today we're gonna be learning about comedy.

00:47Specifically, stand-up comedy.

00:50All right.

00:51You ever thought about trying it?

00:52Fuck no, dude.

00:53If I bombed, I'd probably,

00:55I would let it affect me for months.

00:57And yet, you do things on camera

01:00that would speak of a man with very little

01:02self-awareness, self-concern,

01:04concern for your self-image.

01:06I still piss myself on a quarterly basis.

01:10Let's talk quickly about the origin of stand-up comedy.

01:14Any thoughts about when it might have started?

01:17Charlie Chaplin.

01:18Silent film actor.

01:19He wasn't a, dead serious, he wasn't a comedian?

01:22He was a comedian.

01:23He was an actor.

01:24Well.

01:25Who didn't speak.

01:26We're talking about stand-up comedy.

01:27Oh, fuck.

01:28No, not Charlie Chaplin.

01:31We're talking turn of the century.

01:342000s?

01:35You think stand-up comedy started in the year 2000?

01:38No, but when you say turn of the century,

01:40I'm thinking this most recent century.

01:43I was going to get to which turn,

01:46and then you guessed.

01:48All right, so 1900.

01:50Yeah, right around then.

01:51Burlesque shows.

01:53Burlesque is when, like,

01:54it's all about showing skin.

01:57Yes, that's right.

01:58Interestingly, at the burlesque shows,

02:00the idea of having someone come out

02:01and perform in front of the curtain was a new idea,

02:04and it was usually to fill time

02:06so that they could reset the stage

02:08and whatever was the bigger show

02:09that was happening behind there.

02:11So these shows would be 10 to 15 minutes,

02:14which is amazing because in present day comedy,

02:17that's how long a set is.

02:19We call them spots.

02:21That's what my gym teacher used to say.

02:22Spots!

02:23I'm sure it's also what your general practitioner says

02:26when you drop your pants.

02:28That brings me to you.

02:29Uh-oh.

02:30I would like for you to try your hand

02:32at some joke telling.

02:33Right now?

02:34No.

02:35Okay, good.

02:36We are going to meet with an expert,

02:38a major face in the game.

02:40You?

02:41No, not me.

02:42Bigger.

02:43Ah.

02:44More successful.

02:45Okay.

02:46More celebrated.

02:47All right.

02:47More genre-bending.

02:48What does that mean?

02:49This person is changing the game,

02:50much like the people we mentioned earlier.

02:52Ever heard of Hannah Burner?

02:54Of course.

02:55Coming off a hot Netflix special,

02:56she's got a huge podcast,

02:57and she's going to join us to judge your jokes.

03:04I fully expect to fail.

03:06Well, let's set the bar a little higher.

03:08How about we're hoping for Cs or better?

03:11I'll take D.

03:12You would take a D.

03:14You know what I'm saying?

03:15Look at that.

03:16Rubbing off on you.

03:17Came to your side of the aisle.

03:18Rubbing off on you, pal.

03:19Yeah.

03:20No, I would like 70 or above.

03:24That's why we need to prepare.

03:25And we are going to dig in and heighten our focus,

03:29fueled by Proper Wild.

03:31Clean all day energy.

03:33Excellent.

03:34Cheers, brother.

03:36Good luck.

03:41Okay, Mr. Beers.

03:42The time is now.

03:43We are here at the Grizzly Pear.

03:45We're here with Proper Wild, as ever.

03:48Clean all day energy.

03:49Thank you to Proper Wild for getting us focused

03:52and giving us the boost we need

03:53to have Dana potentially fall flat on his face

03:56in front of Hannah Burner,

03:57an established and respected comedian,

03:59as you try your hand at some stand-up comedy

04:01for the very first time.

04:02You nervous?

04:03Yes.

04:04Talk to me what you got.

04:05I'm not the brightest bulb.

04:06I would drive by this car every day.

04:08I gotta lead it up more, right?

04:10I gotta lead it up.

04:11Where am I starting from?

04:12Start over?

04:12Where you stopped from.

04:13As I mentioned, I'm not the brightest bulb in the-

04:15That's not where you stopped.

04:16And on the side, it said K-9.

04:18Don't you think we should have

04:20a more age-appropriate breed?

04:22I said, what the heck?

04:22He must not know how old I am.

04:24You think she'll be cool with like jerking off stuff?

04:26Absolutely.

04:27It wasn't anything weird.

04:27I'm not the feds.

04:29It wasn't anything sketchy.

04:30I'm not worried.

04:31So one day I was lying down, jerking off.

04:33All over my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pillow.

04:35I was killing my dick one day.

04:38I called my mom.

04:39Oh my God.

04:40I was like, what do I do?

04:41You shouldn't tell us that.

04:42You certainly shouldn't say it on camera.

04:44That's good.

04:45I got a feeling we're only gonna be telling one joke.

04:48Would you tell this joke?

04:49Absolutely.

04:50Okay.

04:51Come on!

04:52That's funny.

04:53Yeah?

04:53I mean, come on.

04:54Yeah?

04:55That's a funny joke.

04:56We wrote a funny joke together.

04:57We'll see if I can do it up there,

04:59but that felt good.

05:03Hannah, thank you for being here.

05:04This is Hannah Berner,

05:06Netflix star, host of Giggly Squad,

05:09being Burns, formerly of Summer House fame,

05:12now of Fame fame.

05:15So glad to have you, and I appreciate it.

05:19Thank you for having me in this beautiful bar in Midtown.

05:22I've got Dana Beers in the back.

05:24Who's that?

05:25Dana Beers is an idiot.

05:28And he's my idiot.

05:30And I have been teaching him over the course

05:33of many lessons, all different things.

05:34And today, I would love it if you would sort of grade him.

05:40Simon Cowell.

05:41Absolutely.

05:42Is he a funny guy in the office?

05:44He's very funny.

05:45So like, when you walk around, you see him,

05:47you're like, we'll have a good exchange?

05:48Yes.

05:49Dana might have a Netflix special

05:50coming in a couple of years.

05:51I will kill myself if that happens.

05:56All right.

05:57Oh my God, I'm never in this position.

06:00This is fun.

06:01Time to be judgy.

06:02Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage,

06:05Dana Beers!

06:11How we doing?

06:13So I grew up in a pretty nice town.

06:17It was a very safe town.

06:18It was actually so safe that we had a cop

06:21that lived on our street.

06:23So I would drive up and down this street every single day.

06:26And I noticed on the side, it said K-9.

06:29In my head, I'm good.

06:31I have aged out of his jurisdiction.

06:33I'm a junior in high school.

06:35So one day I'm driving past and I'm going pretty fast.

06:40This is a neighborhood.

06:41And I'm going about 50 miles an hour

06:43and I see the lights behind me.

06:45And it is the K-9 cop.

06:49Now in my head again, I am unarrestable.

06:51I'm good.

06:52I'm out of his jurisdiction.

06:53So I roll the window down.

06:55Not many words are said, but I said, I pissed him off a little.

07:00I said, hey man, you can't arrest me.

07:02I'm a junior in high school.

07:04I'm out of your jurisdiction.

07:05So he walks away.

07:09And all of a sudden, I see this massive dog

07:11jump out of his car.

07:12This German Shepherd, the biggest German Shepherd

07:15I've ever seen, foaming at the mouth.

07:17He jumps in my car and he starts ripping at my leg.

07:21I can't believe they're allowing dogs this size

07:25to police kindergartners.

07:29I mean, at least can we start with a Chihuahua?

07:33Maybe once they start to ride bikes,

07:34we can pull in the golden doodles.

07:37And when they actually are, you know,

07:39committing violent crimes, we call the local kill shelter.

07:42We bring in the pit bull.

07:44So I've really never acted my age.

07:48There's one particular incident that reminds me of that

07:50where I was laying down in bed and I was doing my thing.

07:55And by that, I mean, I was jerking off.

07:57And I get this email that says, we know what you're doing.

08:01You're on a list.

08:02And so my first inclination after I lose my boner

08:05is call my mother.

08:07And I tell her, mom, I think the feds are coming.

08:10I think I'm in trouble.

08:11And she tells me, she's the sweetest angel on earth.

08:13She tells me, Dana, I'm ashamed of you.

08:16This is disgusting.

08:17There needs to be some type of separation

08:20between what you just told me and our relationship.

08:23And she hangs up.

08:25It was brutal, man.

08:27Just absolutely brutal.

08:29I was about five seconds away from busting

08:31on my race car bed.

08:33Wow.

08:34Dana Beard.

08:38All right.

08:39Why don't we start, Hannah, with your overall thoughts?

08:43Well, hi, Dana.

08:44Hi, Hannah.

08:44I'm Dana.

08:45Nice to meet you.

08:46Nice to meet you.

08:47You have great stage presence.

08:49My knees are shaking a little.

08:50Immediately, though, I felt like we're

08:52going to have fun regardless if nothing makes sense

08:55that you say.

08:56Should I get to the?

08:57Yeah.

08:58Yeah.

09:00We're going to have her grade you

09:02on three specific categories.

09:05Joke structure slash writing, stage presence,

09:09and, like, overall funny.

09:11What do we start with?

09:12Joke structure writing.

09:13Joke structure slash writing.

09:14Be mean.

09:14Be as mean as you want.

09:15OK, if we're being honest, like,

09:17full Russian gymnastics coach, it was a little bit fast.

09:22But that's just because you're nervous.

09:23If you do it again, you do it slower.

09:25Yes.

09:26And a little wordy.

09:28I think it might have had a little bit of your style on it.

09:31But you speak in elegant script, you know?

09:34It doesn't fit him at all.

09:35It might have not fit him as wordy.

09:38So I think we're going to give a C for writing.

09:40Wow, OK.

09:41Yeah, I hadn't heard any of these jokes.

09:43So that is generous to me.

09:47No, and the first one I really like, too.

09:49Like, I like the idea.

09:50They're real stories.

09:51They're both very real.

09:52And then there's a little bit of trying to make it funny.

09:56Stage presence.

09:58Really?

09:59I loved it.

09:59Oh my god, I was nervous.

10:00I loved his stage presence.

10:02And the last is just overall funny.

10:04I think there's real potential.

10:05But right now, we have work to do.

10:07I have to give you a C plus, if we're being honest.

10:11C plus is awesome.

10:12This was awesome.

10:13You did great.

10:14Like, I would continue listening to him.

10:16I wouldn't leave the club.

10:19All right, so that's a C for writing,

10:23a C plus for overall funny, and an A plus for stage presence,

10:28which I think probably averages out to, like, a B,

10:32maybe a B minus, which is pretty darn good, Dana.

10:34That's pretty good for day one.

10:35I do think comedy is not about not being nervous.

10:38It's how you perform when you're nervous.

10:41That's it.

10:41And the best way to combat nerves and to stay sharp

10:45is with proper wild.

10:46We appreciate you guys.

10:47Clean all day energy.

10:49Cheers, buddy.

10:50Cheers, guys.

10:51Great job.

10:52Woo!

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