- 8/22/2024
w/ Dai Henwood, Tom Sainsbury, Kura Turawhenua, Nina Oyama
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00♪♪
00:07-♪♪
00:13-♪♪
00:18Jorai hoa mā!
00:20Boy, am I glad to see you again.
00:21It's been a long year waiting right here in the studio.
00:24I haven't seen the sun once,
00:26but I have read the dictionary back-to-back 47 times,
00:29and I'm as ready as I'll ever be
00:30to bring you another exciting season
00:32of Go Montgomery's Go Monspelling Bee!
00:34Tonight on the show, four comedians
00:40will battle against the merciless syllables
00:42of the English language, spelling words correctly,
00:44and, let's face it, incorrectly,
00:46all in the hopes of winning this,
00:49a big bit of card that grants them direct passage
00:51to do it all again in next week's episode!
00:54And while someone spells their way to success,
00:59someone else will spell their way into hell!
01:02Tonight's loser must hang their head in shame
01:05and trudge to the corner,
01:06where they'll need to lift their head back up
01:08so they can don it with the dunce's hats.
01:10I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy,
01:15but luckily my worst enemy Hitler isn't here.
01:19And I'm only too happy to wish it on any of our contestants.
01:24Speaking of which, let's find out
01:25who exactly is competing tonight.
01:27Please welcome Kureture Whenua,
01:30Tom Sainsbury,
01:33Nino Yama,
01:36and the defending champ from last season,
01:38it's Dai Hinwa!
01:43What a cast, what a feeling.
01:45Now let's get spelling!
01:47I've decided not to ruffle too many feathers
01:53in our return episode by focusing our very first round
01:56very specifically on spelling.
01:59How difficult that spelling is, why that's up to you,
02:01the spellers, not you at home.
02:03Nothing you do at home will impact this show.
02:06But please keep watching.
02:08In front of me, I have what might seem
02:10like a normal looking cup, purse, and bucket.
02:12However, they are anything but.
02:14In fact, these receptacles are chock-a-block
02:16with kupu, or words.
02:18Words in the Coward's Cup are embarrassingly easy to spell
02:21and worth a solitary point for the coward who picks them.
02:24Words within the person's purse
02:25are words worthy of a regular person
02:27and are therefore worth two points, a regular number.
02:30The Bucket of Bravery contains words worth three points
02:33and they are super easy to spell,
02:35assuming you are the smartest person alive.
02:38Otherwise, I wouldn't.
02:41Fate is in your hands and our first speller
02:44won Best Newcomer at the last
02:45New Zealand International Comedy Festival,
02:47it's Kura Turuwhirua.
02:48Kura, as the youngest member of our lineup tonight,
02:55you probably had to spell a word in public most recently.
02:58Do you think this gives you an advantage?
03:01I hope so, I really hope so.
03:03How are you feeling about it?
03:05I'm feeling surprisingly competitive.
03:08I'm trying to retain the humility
03:10that like hundreds of generations of Maori people
03:13have tried to instill into me.
03:16All it takes is one generation to undo all of that.
03:20Well, it's a pleasure to have you with us.
03:22Which receptacle would you like to spell from?
03:24I think I'm gonna do the person's purse.
03:28A sensible choice for a person.
03:31And your word is accommodate.
03:38What?
03:39It's easy.
03:40Oh wow, Nina talking shit.
03:43Before we've even met her, you gotta love her.
03:47Accommodate, now to help you in your journey,
03:49Kura, you can ask for a language of origin,
03:50a definition, and a sentence.
03:52What's the language of origin?
03:54Novotel.
03:58Pretty good culture.
04:01Can I please hear that used in a sentence?
04:05Uh, yes, we'd be glad to accommodate you
04:10at the Haunted Hotel.
04:13Checkout is never.
04:16Yeah, probably good to give that one some context.
04:19It's a little character I'm working on
04:21called Mr. Stefanski from my new screenplay,
04:25The Haunted Hotel.
04:26And I've been pretty nervous about sharing it,
04:28so thanks for the opportunity.
04:32I'm just gonna go for it, eh?
04:35A.
04:37C.
04:39C-O-M-O-D-A-T-E?
04:49That is incorrect, I'm so sorry.
04:53Accommodate is spelled A-C-C-O-M-M-O-D-A-T-E.
04:58That dastardly double M doing its dastardly business.
05:02Next up, you know him for his characters online,
05:04but tonight he'll be taking on
05:05the most challenging role of all, himself.
05:08It's Tom Sainsbury!
05:10Hey!
05:13Tom.
05:14Hi.
05:15A lot of your digital audience is Facebook using boomers.
05:18Yes.
05:18You must have seen some horrific spelling
05:20in your comments yet.
05:22Yes, I have, yeah.
05:23Pregment, pre, pregment.
05:26Pregment?
05:27Yeah.
05:27What's that?
05:28It's like the wrong spelling of pregnant.
05:30Oh, that's a comment that's coming up often?
05:33Yeah, it is.
05:34Wow, he looks pregment.
05:38And are you a confident speller?
05:41I thought I was, but I thought accommodate,
05:44I would have done it exactly the same,
05:45so I know what I'm gonna go for
05:47when it comes to the container.
05:49Which container is that?
05:50I'm gonna go for the Coward's Cup.
05:52Very well.
05:53I know, sorry guys,
05:54I just wanna get one point on the board.
05:57Your word from the Coward's Cup is puku.
06:01Could I have the, in a sentence?
06:03Nothing spells the sound of summer more
06:06than hearing the kids yell,
06:07nice puku, as I parade around the beach
06:10in my signature crop top.
06:13That is relatable content.
06:16Can I have the definition?
06:17Where I keep my bears.
06:22Okay, I'm gonna go for it.
06:25P-U-K-U?
06:31That is correct!
06:32I got a point, I got a point!
06:35I got a point.
06:37Well done, Tom.
06:38Our third speller is a star of Taskmaster Australia
06:41and Amazon Prime's Deadlock.
06:43Now making her debut on a proper TV show,
06:45it's Nino Ayama!
06:50Nino, you have immediately carved out
06:52a challenging role for yourself in this episode
06:55as what I would describe as a villain.
06:59Ooh.
07:02Australians certainly show a lack of respect
07:04for the spoken word.
07:07Are you at least spelling them correctly
07:08before you mangle the vowels into oblivion?
07:12I like to think that I will.
07:14You're a strong speller?
07:15No, but I'm hopeful and I'm valiant.
07:20But I did drop out of high school,
07:22so this is my comeback tour, you know?
07:24And you left because you were sick and tired of it?
07:27Yeah, I was just too cool, you know?
07:29Were you?
07:29I just knew too many words
07:31and I was like, oh, no, it's because I had depression.
07:35Oh, wow.
07:37Yeah, depression is hilarious.
07:38The crowd's right.
07:41Well, Nino, which receptacle would you like to spell from?
07:44I think I want to mix it up
07:45and go for the bucket of bravery.
07:47Oh, my word!
07:50Just to see.
07:51Well, let's see how you do with your word
07:53from the bucket of bravery.
07:55It is milk toast.
07:57Oh.
07:59Yeah.
07:59What is that definition?
08:03Bland or insipid, like Guy Montgomery's lovemaking.
08:07Well, that's the last time I let your mum write the definitions.
08:15I actually think she did a very good job.
08:18Thanks, Mum.
08:19Bye.
08:20Also, hello to your mum.
08:26And what is the country of origin?
08:28The language of origin?
08:30Not food.
08:32OK.
08:33And can you use it in a sentence?
08:35The milk toast chef prepared an uninspiring dinner
08:39of milk and toast.
08:43M-I-L-Q-U-E-T-O-A-S-T?
08:56That is correct!
08:57Oh, my God.
09:00What?
09:02Absolutely remarkable.
09:03Guy Montgomery's mum, I'm coming for you now.
09:06She's actually in the audience.
09:08Oh.
09:10Please don't **** my mum.
09:15Congratulations, Nina.
09:16And finally, the undisputed spelling bee champion
09:19of the show, it's Di Edwards!
09:24Di, you've been the king for over a year now.
09:27Does the spelling crown weigh heavy on your head?
09:30It certainly does.
09:32A few people have come for it,
09:33but I'm confident.
09:35I've been consuming mushrooms every day.
09:38I'm talking lion's mane cordyceps,
09:41which are good for your brain function.
09:43It's actually, I had a massive fear of suitcases
09:46before I started taking these mushrooms.
09:48Now I'm fine with them.
09:49I feel like you've taken too many mushrooms
09:51before you got here.
09:53Because I've got no idea what you're talking about.
09:54Well, it's an absolute pleasure to have you back.
09:56Which receptacle would you like to spell from?
09:58Can you please give me a number between 10 and 20?
10:03I don't do numbers.
10:05Can you give me a number between 10 and 20?
10:0812.
10:09Oh, damn.
10:10The person's purse it is then.
10:11All right, the person's purse it is.
10:13Did you just like do a magic trick on me?
10:16Yeah, they call me David Bayne.
10:17Blah.
10:24Wow.
10:25Stop it.
10:26Okay.
10:27From the person's purse, your word is lieutenant.
10:32Oh, here we go.
10:33Yes.
10:34Can I hear it in a sentence?
10:36Not only did Lieutenant Sanders hold an inferior position
10:39in the army to his brother, the colonel,
10:42but his chicken also tasted awful.
10:46Little story in there.
10:47I like that, I appreciate it.
10:49And definition please.
10:51A high ranking army officer
10:53or someone you rent out your toilet to.
11:00Let's just get into it, eh?
11:02L-U-I-T-E-N-T-A-N-T.
11:10I know I lost it.
11:11Yeah, that was a disaster.
11:12That was incorrect.
11:15Lieutenant is spelled L-I-E-U-T-E-N-A-N-T.
11:20You're correct.
11:22You're so correct.
11:23I'll take the points, thank you.
11:24And with our first round completed,
11:26let's take a look at the scores.
11:27We've got Nina out in front with three points.
11:30And before we take a break,
11:31we're going to showcase an exciting new round,
11:34the acrostic round.
11:36And what is the acrostic round, you ask?
11:38Why, it's a clever round of spelling things
11:41interestingly and creatively.
11:44Acrostic poems,
11:45the second best form of poems after rhyming poems.
11:49In this round, I will give you a word
11:51which you must spell correctly
11:52in the form of an acrostic poem.
11:54In the likely event
11:55that more than one of you spell it correctly,
11:57the best poem will win.
11:59Does that make sense?
12:00Yeah.
12:00All right, well, your word is limerick.
12:04Limerick is the word for the acrostic poems.
12:06Spellers, poem pens at the ready.
12:08Everyone else, do your thing.
12:10Limerick is the word for the acrostic poems.
12:13Spellers, poem pens at the ready.
12:15Everyone else, do whatever you want.
12:16We'll be back with four poems and a bunch more spelling
12:18when Gaimon Spelling Bee returns.
12:36Hoke mai, welcome back to Gaimon Gomery's Gaimon Spelling Bee.
12:40make this show without our sponsors.
12:41And tonight's episode is brought to you by Penguin.
12:45Not the book company, just a generous penguin
12:48who recently came into a large sum of money
12:50after inheriting his father's potato chip company.
12:53Thank you, Penguin.
12:55Thank you, Penguin.
12:56Woo!
12:58When we left, I challenged our four spellers
13:00to spell the word liberic in the form of an acrostic poem.
13:03Let's see how they did.
13:05Starting with kura.
13:07Oh.
13:09It's a confident sound.
13:10I really regret that thing I said about humility at the start.
13:14Oh, you're staying pretty humble so far.
13:17Mine is...
13:19Lately, I might maybe enjoy reading in central Kaitaia.
13:25Ah!
13:27APPLAUSE
13:29That's generous.
13:30You've done a little illustration. Can you walk us through that?
13:33Yeah, it's a picture of...
13:34That's me reading a book that says the history of Aotearoa,
13:39and I've got a sad face.
13:41Yeah.
13:42It does look like it's making you pretty sad.
13:46Tom, on to you.
13:48Here we go.
13:49Look, I'm mostly excellent re-spelling.
13:53I want you to k'not k'judge me too hushly, New Zealand.
13:57LAUGHTER
14:00Yeah, who knew that not had a silent C in front of it?
14:03Yeah, not me. You got pretty creative with the Italian there.
14:06OK, down the line now to Nina.
14:08What have you... Whoa, you've written a book?
14:10Yeah. I'm trying to make up for my sins at school.
14:14Listen, I'm making everyone really interested
14:18in my cool kitten limerick.
14:20That's all one line after the K ends.
14:22There once was a kitten called Guy.
14:26He used to jump really, really high.
14:28He jumped off the trampoline so high he was never seen.
14:32This means he probably died.
14:35Oh, my. Oh, my.
14:37So you've written an acrostic poem
14:39and you've contained a limerick inside of the acrostic poem.
14:42Yes. Teachers pet much.
14:45And on to Dai.
14:47Here is my poem.
14:50Leon immersively meditates
14:52every time Ronald inserts Caesarian crumpets.
14:55LAUGHTER
14:57Wow.
15:00LAUGHTER
15:02It is a metaphor, Guy.
15:05For? For life, really.
15:07Yeah.
15:08Cos you're never expecting things to have to come apart,
15:11but sometimes they come apart in a way you don't want to.
15:15Yet the next generation is born through that
15:18and who doesn't like a crumpet?
15:20Wow.
15:22I think you might be doing too many mushrooms.
15:26Congratulations on all your poems.
15:28Kuda, I'm sorry to say that you put the missing M from accommodate
15:32into limerick. Yes.
15:34Having a lot of trouble with your Ms this evening. It's OK.
15:37There's a long show in front of us.
15:39Tom, Nina and Dai, you all spelt limerick correctly.
15:42And I got to say, you know, I called you teacher's pet,
15:45but it's working. A limerick inside of an acrostic poem about limerick.
15:48The point is yours. Congratulations, Nina.
15:52Well done, Nina. I'm going to bestow a gift upon you.
15:57Eh?
15:58Oh!
15:59And speaking of gifts, boy, oh, boy, does it feel like Christmas.
16:07It's time to play The Gift Of Spelling.
16:10To help us out, please welcome back the spirit of spelling
16:12and Christmas himself, it's Sanjay Patel!
16:14CHEERING
16:18I don't know what day they're putting this episode on TV,
16:21but I'm going to roll the dice and assume it's Christmas Day.
16:24In which case, Meri ki te Himete, one and all,
16:27and especially to Sanjay, season's greetings.
16:29Ah, ding-dong, merrily on high there, guy.
16:33Bit of festive mood, I see.
16:35Not really. I'm getting allergies being so close to this tree.
16:39You know that's a fake tree, right?
16:42I'm allergic to bullshit.
16:44It's great to have you back with us, Sanjay.
16:47This round works a lot like the classic office Christmas party game,
16:50Snatchy Santa, and to anyone who has never had a job,
16:53which is most of our panel, I'll explain how it works.
16:56You will each receive a taonga, or gift, from under the spelling tree,
16:59with Dai choosing first.
17:01Sanjay will then hand-deliver your gift,
17:03and you get to experience the pure joy of opening a brand-new toy.
17:07However, there will be no spelling immediately after this.
17:10In fact, Dai will just stand there like a gormless idiot
17:13while Nina makes her choice.
17:15That choice is whether to open a fresh present
17:17or steal Dai's already-opened gift.
17:20If she steals Dai's gift,
17:21Dai will then get to open a fresh present,
17:23and on and on it goes.
17:25Once you all have a gift, I will assign you each a word to spell.
17:29Dai, you're first.
17:31Take it away.
17:32Can I please have the green box
17:37with the green and red ribbon?
17:40Green box?
17:42Are you out of your mind, Sanjay? There's a pretty green box in there.
17:45LAUGHTER
17:47Are you just discovering your colour-blind?
17:50I don't like to talk about my colour-blindness, thank you.
17:52Oh, sorry for bringing it up, man.
17:55Thank you, Sanjay. And as it is summer,
17:57do you have any good hike recommendations?
17:59Mount Everest, I think.
18:01LAUGHTER
18:03Please be up to the sprime.
18:07Oh. Ooh.
18:09What have you got there, my friend?
18:11I have a very weighty train.
18:13OK, over to you, Nina.
18:15Do you want Dai hands or something new?
18:17Can I have something new, please?
18:18Yeah, talk to Sanjay. He's your guy.
18:21Hey, Sanjay. How are you?
18:22Can I please have the box that's got mistletoe on it
18:26with a silver bow?
18:27Good, you didn't say colour cos I'm colour-blind, so...
18:31LAUGHTER
18:33Cool. Do I take it? OK, cool.
18:36Sorry, I wasn't listening to the instructions.
18:38Is it a bold strategy?
18:40LAUGHTER
18:42Oh! It's a...
18:44It's one of these.
18:46A furby. A furby, yeah.
18:48It's one of those.
18:50You familiar with the toy?
18:51I think I had one. Oh.
18:53Yeah, I don't know. Made an impact.
18:54I can't remember a lot of my childhood.
18:56LAUGHTER
18:58You don't remember me sneaking out of the house
19:00early in the morning?
19:01LAUGHTER
19:05We're going to stop that thread.
19:08Tom, it's your choice.
19:09Sanjay, my beautiful little Christmas elf,
19:12do you think I could get the biggest box left?
19:14No, that sounds good to me.
19:17Not a single thief among us so far.
19:20Thank you so much.
19:22Gorgeous. You're welcome.
19:23Oh, here we go.
19:26Oh, boy!
19:27Oh, yes!
19:29White...
19:31Wheel shoes.
19:32Yeah.
19:34Can you ride those things?
19:36No, but nor can my feet fit in these.
19:39I mean, look how little they look.
19:40They are a small size.
19:41You've got a very keen eye for foot size.
19:43I do, yeah, especially when you're, you know, size 13 feet.
19:46Have you got size 13 feet? I know.
19:48You know what they say about big feet?
19:49I know, it's not true.
19:50LAUGHTER
19:56Sorry, New Zealand.
20:00I hope that's cut out.
20:04Pretty big laugh, even an applause break,
20:05I reckon it's in.
20:08All right, we'll move on from Tom and his tiny little penis to...
20:17Kuda, you're last up.
20:19No-one has chosen to engage with the spirit
20:22of the Snatchy Santa game so far.
20:24Would you like to take any of these things
20:26or find out what's in the last remaining box?
20:28Can I take the little demon thing?
20:32Absolutely, you can.
20:34What, you mean die?
20:35LAUGHTER
20:38Yeah, all right.
20:40So, now, Nina, you can choose to steal from either Tom or die
20:44or open the last remaining gift.
20:46Ooh, I think I want to steal from Tom.
20:49No!
20:50Yeah.
20:51OK.
20:52That's right, you've just told us all you have a little penis
20:53for no reason.
20:54LAUGHTER
20:55For no good reason.
20:57Well, Tom, you can either take die's train,
21:00which I think would be quite satisfying,
21:01or you can open the last remaining box.
21:04I'm going to grab the last remaining box.
21:07OK.
21:08Are you sure?
21:09This is quite a large front caboose.
21:10Yeah.
21:11LAUGHTER
21:12Thank you, Sanjay.
21:13You're welcome.
21:14Bringing the...
21:15Oh, this one's a lot lighter.
21:16Here we go.
21:17Oh!
21:18Oh, what?!
21:19LAUGHTER
21:22A pterodactyl, if you will.
21:24All right, presents have been chosen, stolen and assigned.
21:27No exchange card.
21:28Let's find out what you're all spelling.
21:30And we are going to start...
21:32LAUGHTER
21:35Yeah, so there's a bit of strategy to the game.
21:37LAUGHTER
21:39We're going to start with die.
21:43Choo-choo!
21:44Looks like Santa's brought you a train.
21:46You may know the train as a locomotive,
21:48but you may not know that the first steam-powered locomotive
21:51was built in Shropshire, England.
21:54Your word is Shropshire.
21:56LAUGHTER
21:58You can ask for a language of origin, a definition
22:01and to hear the word in a sentence.
22:03What is the language of origin?
22:05Oh, blighty!
22:06LAUGHTER
22:08Could I have a Shropshire in a sentence?
22:12Oh, yep.
22:13LAUGHTER
22:16Yeah, I see you're from Birmingham.
22:17I say no, I'm from Shropshire.
22:19Shropshire to and through, Cheshire to the north,
22:22Staffordshire to the east.
22:23LAUGHTER
22:26Here from the south, me, I'm from Shropshire way.
22:28LAUGHTER
22:31Shropshire.
22:32LAUGHTER
22:33OK, a blaze of glory time here.
22:36Shropshire.
22:37S-C-H-R-O-P-S-H-I-R-E.
22:41That is incorrect.
22:43I'm so sorry.
22:44Shropshire is spelt S-H-R-O-P-S-H-I-R-E.
22:50You're in the neighbourhood.
22:51I'm sorry for your lost eye, but the train is all yours.
22:54Nina, roller skates, the thinking man's shoes.
22:59And what is that man thinking?
23:00I wish these shoes went faster.
23:03But I think the one thing we can all agree on
23:05is that when we see a pair of roller skates,
23:07we think, wow, centripetal force in action.
23:11So my word is wow.
23:14Your word is centripetal.
23:16Centripetal.
23:17Centripetal.
23:18And can you use it in a sentence?
23:21Looking good, Gary.
23:23Between your coordination and the centripetal force
23:26of those skates, your days of being bullied at high school
23:29are surely about to be a thing of the past.
23:34OK.
23:35C-E-N-T-R-I-P-U-T-A-L?
23:47That is incorrect.
23:48Centripetal is spelt C-E-N-T-R-I-P-E-T-A-L.
23:53Oh, I did that deliberately because I was winning.
23:57Yeah, it's good to give everyone else a chance.
24:00You just give and you give and you give.
24:02I reckon if you'd spent another year in school,
24:04you could have got it.
24:05OK.
24:08Moving on now to Tom.
24:09Squawk, squawk.
24:13You must have been a good boy this year
24:15because you've got yourself a pterodactyl,
24:18known in my circles as the pterodactylus antiquus.
24:22This flying carnivore lived in the Tythonian stage
24:26of the late Jurassic period.
24:29Well, that's according to fossil remains
24:31found in the Solnhofen limestone of Bavaria, Germany.
24:37Anyway, I don't need to tell you stuff you already know.
24:40Your word is dinosaur.
24:50D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R?
24:55That is correct.
25:01All right, and we are left with Kura.
25:06Wowza!
25:08You have scored yourself the hottest Christmas present
25:10of the late 90s and early 2000s.
25:13For legal purposes, I'll avoid saying the brand name
25:15on television, but let's just say it's a portmanteau
25:18of fur and baby.
25:22These bad boys are famously powered
25:24by animatronic technology.
25:26Animatronic, of course, being a portmanteau of animation
25:30and electronic.
25:31I think it goes without saying that your word is portmanteau.
25:36You got this, Kura.
25:39OK.
25:40It's not going to tell you.
25:43No, I can hear it.
25:46What is the definition?
25:48A seamless way of blending two words into one,
25:51such as brunch, spork, and Montspellingby.
25:58Can I hear it in a sentence?
26:01Funnily enough, portmanteau is a French word
26:04favoured by English teachers.
26:06And to those English teachers, I say, stay in your lane!
26:12Portmanteau.
26:16P-O-R-T-M-A-N-T-E-A-U?
26:29That is correct!
26:36A holly jolly round indeed.
26:39Nina's out in front, and a big thanks to my little helper,
26:42Father Sanjay!
26:46We need to take the tree down and exchange these gifts
26:48for something our contestants actually want.
26:50We'll do that, you do you, and we'll see you soon
26:52for more spelling!
26:59Welcome back!
27:01If you're anything like me, you'll be sitting at home
27:03thinking the whole world has gone to hell in a handbasket.
27:06How did we let it get so bad?
27:08We've got weather events, political unrest,
27:10and crime rates through the roof.
27:12The cause of all these problems is a lack of respect
27:15for the written word.
27:29Spell the crime, do the time.
27:33For this round, we spent $50 million on a state-of-the-art
27:36high-security prison capable of housing up to four
27:39of the most hardened spelling criminals,
27:41and guarded by the brave Officer Sanjay!
27:48Hi, Sanjay!
27:50Yep, what's all this then?
27:52A very good question.
27:54In this round, I will go down the line with a list
27:56of crime-related words, and one at a time,
27:59you will be asked to spell them.
28:01If you spell the word correctly, you get a point.
28:03Get it wrong?
28:05Officer Sanjay will take you straight to prison
28:07for the rest of the round, where there will be
28:09no more spelling for you.
28:11The round ends when all of our spellers are in jail.
28:13There will be none of your namby-pamby definitions
28:15or sentences in this round.
28:17You either spell the word straight away, or you go to jail.
28:19And for anyone worried about their safety,
28:21rest assured that we have fitted Officer Sanjay
28:23with a body cam.
28:25Anyway...
28:27You're a good cop, aren't you, Sanjay?
28:29Yes, and this is my last day on the force,
28:31so I'm hoping nothing goes wrong,
28:33and then I can go back to my wife and kids.
28:36Thank you, Sanjay.
28:38Let's get into it.
28:40And we'll start with Kura.
28:42Your word is fraud.
28:44Oh.
28:46You spell the word fraud.
28:48Sorry, I thought I was getting accused or something.
28:50No, you're not.
28:53F-R-A-U-D.
28:56Correct!
28:58Tom, arson.
29:00A-R-S-O-N.
29:02Correct!
29:04Murder.
29:06M-U-R-D-E-R.
29:08Correct!
29:10Guy, your word is theft.
29:13Why can I not spell theft?
29:16Theft?
29:18Oh, my God.
29:20I think these are our easiest words.
29:22I know, now I'm massively overthinking it.
29:24T-H-E-F-T.
29:26Correct!
29:28Your word is phishing.
29:30The internet crime.
29:32Oh.
29:34P-H-I-S-H-I-N-G.
29:40Correct!
29:42Phishing, as in undersized.
29:45LAUGHTER
29:54F-I-S-H-I-N-G.
29:56Correct!
29:58Extortion.
30:00E-X-T-O-R-T-I-O-N.
30:04Correct!
30:05Loitering.
30:07L-O-I-T-E-R-I-N-G.
30:12Correct!
30:14David Bain.
30:16Oh, my God.
30:18I don't know how to spell his name.
30:20This is way out of my generation.
30:23He's always in the news.
30:26B-A-B-I-D.
30:29B-A-N-E?
30:31That is incorrect.
30:33I'm so sorry.
30:35Officer Sanjay's coming for you.
30:37This feels inappropriate.
30:39LAUGHTER
30:41Come with me, son.
30:43Santa?
30:45What happened?
30:47Well, you truly hate to see it.
30:49Your word is allegedly.
30:51A-L-L-E-D-G-A-B-L-Y.
31:04Allegibly?
31:06Allegedly, you said?
31:08LAUGHTER
31:10APPLAUSE
31:13I'm ashamed of myself.
31:16It actually looks more fun in there than it does out here.
31:19All right, we work really hard on the show now.
31:22Your word is misdemeanour.
31:24M-I-S-D-E-M-E-A-N-O-R.
31:33That is incorrect.
31:35Oh!
31:36Misdemeanour is spelled M-I-S-D-E-M-E-A-N-O-U-R.
31:39No, it's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
31:42Well, our prison needs fresh meat, so that's fine.
31:46Oh, toilet!
31:47Yeah, go for it.
31:49Go for it, man.
31:50Diane, you could go on a run here.
31:52LAUGHTER
32:01OK, I'm losing oxygen.
32:03Malfeasance.
32:05Indeed.
32:06LAUGHTER
32:09M-A-L-F...
32:14I've got no idea.
32:15F-E-E-S-E-N-I-V-E.
32:20Feels like some spellers are taking the piss.
32:22That is incorrect.
32:23You'll never take me alive!
32:26Watch out, Sanjay's got a vivid.
32:29Actually, yeah, you can take me alive.
32:32Malfeasance, spelled M-A-L-F-E-A-S-A-N-C-E.
32:36We have all of these guys in jail.
32:39Look at all these ill-disciplined, ill-informed reprobates.
32:42Well, it's going to take at least three minutes for Sanjay
32:44to figure out which key unlocks that door.
32:46We'll see you shortly, hopefully with four free contestants!
32:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:58MUSIC
33:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:05Welcome back!
33:06I know you are enjoying watching ads,
33:08but I have to interrupt your shopping spree
33:10so we can recommence our spelling bee!
33:12Our spellers are back at their podiums,
33:14and as if these poor bastards haven't been through enough already,
33:17we're about to put them through their spelling paces
33:19with the world-famous, much-maligned,
33:21borderline-unconquerable Homophones Round!
33:28While the other rounds are irritating,
33:30I like to think this round is the most irritating.
33:33I'll give each of you a homophone,
33:35a word which has more than one spelling and meaning.
33:38Your job will be to correctly spell that homophone.
33:41That obviously sounds really unfair,
33:43so if you need a hand, I can sweeten the deal
33:45by providing a very helpful sentence.
33:47Dai, you're in last place, so we'll start with you.
33:52Your word...
33:54..is pray.
33:55Can I get that in a sentence?
33:57You ever see an antelope hiding from a lion in a church
34:01with two front hooves together?
34:05You've just watched some Pray Pray.
34:10Do I spell both?
34:11Well, you're going to spell one.
34:13Oh, one of them.
34:14Yeah, yeah, so the challenge is...
34:16To spell the right one.
34:18To spell the right one.
34:19It's designed to be irritating.
34:22Um, well, it's P-R-A-Y.
34:25That is correct!
34:28You've spelt pray, a way of communicating with God,
34:32like what priests do,
34:34as opposed to prey, a weak and vulnerable creature
34:37targeted by a predator.
34:39Kind of like what priests do.
34:44In third place right now, we have Kura.
34:48And your word...
34:50..is peak.
34:53Can I hear it in a sentence?
34:55As an aspiring mountaineer,
34:58if I get a peak of a peak,
35:01well, that's bound to peak my interest.
35:06Yeah, that's three.
35:10Peak my interest.
35:12P-I-Q-U-E.
35:16While that is one way of spelling one of the peaks,
35:19to arouse curiosity,
35:21like when a question makes you horny...
35:24..I was looking for peak.
35:26P-E-E-K.
35:28To have a little look, like we just had, at your soul.
35:33Anyway, I'm sorry, Kura, that is incorrect.
35:36And in second, we have Tom.
35:38And your word is heel.
35:41Oh, could I have that in a sentence, please, Mr Montgomery?
35:44When we saw the huge blister
35:46on the bottom of Apostle Bartholomew's foot,
35:50we all thought he was a goner.
35:52Until Jesus came into the room and we realised,
35:55oh, he'll heal that heel.
36:00H-E-A-L.
36:04That is incorrect.
36:06Oh, dash it.
36:07You spelt heel to recover,
36:09something you'll need to do after this show.
36:12I was looking for heel.
36:14H-E-L-L.
36:16A contraction of he and will.
36:19As in, he'll be coming round the mountain when he comes,
36:22the original lyrics before the woke brigade
36:24made them change it to will.
36:29OK, Nina, you're last, you're currently leading.
36:32And your word is eye.
36:34Eye.
36:36Can I have it in a sentence?
36:39When I asked the Scottish man
36:41if he could see the three-toed sloth,
36:44he said,
36:46Aye, aye, aye and aye.
36:50Is that four options?
36:52That is four.
36:54Wait, eye as in me, eye as in, like, aye-aye, Captain,
36:58an eye for an eye.
37:01What's the other one?
37:03A three-toed sloth.
37:05It was in the sentence.
37:07Oh, yeah, sorry.
37:08It's what the Scottish man saw to prompt that sentence.
37:12I'm going to go with eye as in me.
37:17The letter I, please, Mr Guy Montgomery.
37:21That is correct!
37:26Eye as in me, or in your case, you.
37:30Well done, Nina. Thank you, contestants.
37:33Thanks, Guy!
37:35And to anyone asking if I'm this annoying
37:37when the cameras aren't rolling, it's impossible for me to say.
37:40You've never gotten to hang out with me one-on-one.
37:43Speaking of our cameras, they're getting tired and need a rest.
37:46We'll see you soon with more Spelling Bee!
38:04Welcome back to the Guymon Spelling Bee
38:06with just the buzz round in front of us.
38:08Our last episode of the season is almost over.
38:10Who will win? Who will lose?
38:12Who will we forget as they shoot right down the middle
38:15of the spelling road with a mediocre outing?
38:17Only time will tell, so let's get buzzing!
38:24It's the buzz round.
38:26You have a big buzzer in front of you.
38:28Press it and it makes a buzz.
38:30No show has done it before, no show will do it again.
38:33In this quickfire round, I'll read out words
38:35pertaining to a particular topic.
38:37Buzz on in, baby, and you can get a point for spelling it correctly.
38:40Get it wrong, you get negative one point.
38:42One of the lowest numbers I know.
38:44Onto one of the highest numbers I know, four.
38:47We have four different topics to choose from,
38:49and, Kura, seeing as you are currently losing,
38:52the choice is yours.
38:53Would you like music, technology, geography or fashion?
39:00Can we do technology?
39:03We can.
39:04An A-plus choice from a C-minus speller.
39:08Technology it is!
39:10We will start when I start,
39:11and we stop when the spelling gods tell us to stop.
39:14Now, in the great words of Guy Montgomery,
39:16let's get spelling.
39:18iPad.
39:20Tom.
39:21I-P-A-D.
39:22Correct.
39:23Augmented reality.
39:25Kura.
39:26A-U-G-M-E-N-T-E-D
39:31D-R-E-A-L-I-T-Y.
39:35Correct.
39:36USB.
39:37Kura.
39:38USB.
39:39Correct.
39:40Telecommunications.
39:42Nina.
39:43T-E-L-E-C-O-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N.
39:51Incorrect.
39:53Metaverse.
39:55Go ahead, Di.
39:58M-E-T-A-V-E-R-S-E.
40:03Correct.
40:04Netscape Navigator.
40:06Go ahead, Di.
40:08The only one here who probably remembers Netscape Navigator.
40:11N-E-T-S-C-A-P-E-N-A-V-I-G-A-T-O-R.
40:22Correct.
40:23Industrial Revolution.
40:25Go ahead, Kura.
40:27I-N-D-U-S-T-R-I-A-L-R-E-V-O-L-U-T-I-O-N.
40:39Correct.
40:40Wheel.
40:41Go ahead, Di.
40:42W-H-E-E-L.
40:45Correct.
40:46Fire.
40:47Go ahead, Nina.
40:48F-I-R-E.
40:51Correct.
40:52Telescope.
40:53Go ahead, Di.
40:54T-E-L-E-S-C-O-P-E.
41:00Correct.
41:01Huawei.
41:02Go ahead, Tom.
41:03H-U-A-W-E-I.
41:05Correct.
41:06Tumblr.
41:07Go ahead, Di.
41:08T-U-M-B-L-R.
41:12Correct.
41:13Malware.
41:14Go ahead, Kura.
41:15M-A-L-W-A-R-E.
41:19Correct.
41:20Norton Antivirus.
41:21Nina.
41:23No!
41:26N-O-R-T-O-N-A-N-T-I-V-I-R-U-S.
41:34Correct.
41:35Fisher and Paykel.
41:36Go ahead, Di.
41:38Fisher and Paykel.
41:41F-Y-S-H-E-R-P-A-Y-K-E-L.
41:50Incorrect.
41:51Elon Musk.
41:52Go ahead, Tom.
41:54E-L-O-N-M-U-S-K.
41:58Correct.
41:59X.
42:00Go ahead, Di.
42:01X.
42:02Correct.
42:03Winklevoss twins.
42:05Go ahead, Nina.
42:06W-I-N-K-L-E-V-O-S-S-T-W-I-N-S.
42:14Correct.
42:15Self-driving car.
42:16Go ahead.
42:17Self-driving.
42:18Di, you have the opportunity to spell.
42:20S-E-L-F-D-R-I-V-I-N-G-C-A-R.
42:30That is correct, and at the end of the buzz round,
42:32we have a tie for the first time ever,
42:34which means we're going to have to do a tie break.
42:37Nina and Di, you are both on nine points.
42:39I have some words left on my list.
42:41The first to spell one correctly,
42:43or alternatively, the first to spell one incorrectly
42:46and lose a point will lose.
42:48Sudden death.
42:49Are you both ready?
42:51Liability.
42:52Sure.
43:01I still wouldn't win.
43:03I'll give it up.
43:04Sorry.
43:05Go again.
43:06Understandably, we're going to go again.
43:08Qwerty.
43:10Go ahead, Nina.
43:12Q-W-E-R-T-Y.
43:15That is correct.
43:18That's enough spelling for today,
43:20and look at those juicy scores.
43:22Congratulations.
43:23With a nail-biter, it's Ninoyama.
43:26You've conquered the English language
43:28and no doubt some personal demons along the way.
43:31For your troubles, a ticket to next week's episode.
43:35And a round of applause for my assistant, Sanjay Patel.
43:40But let us not forget that someone,
43:43or in this case, some people,
43:45also lost.
43:46It might be tough to take in,
43:48but remember that your demise
43:50makes us all feel better about ourselves.
43:52My commiserations to Tom and Kura.
43:54Please make your collective way to the Dunces' Corner.
43:57Gentle clap.
43:59A little more.
44:01Not too much.
44:09It's actually kind of sweet.
44:11That's it for our first episode back.
44:13We've got at least seven more of these in the bank,
44:15so come back next week when Ninoyama will take on
44:18the might of PAX Society, Justine Smith and Robbie Nicholl.
44:21For now, you can call me Shepard's High Montgomery,
44:24cos I've got to get out of here and have some dinner.
44:26See you next week.
44:27Pomari e!
44:43.
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44:33
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