- 8/14/2024
w/ Greg Larsen, Zoe Coombs Marr, Tony Armstrong
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Wow! Thank you for that big clap. And assuming it's spelling you're excited about, your instincts
00:27are correct. Good evening and welcome to another episode of Guy Montgomery's Guymont
00:32Spelling Bee. You can have a lot of fun with words, and in most conversations, people like
00:36to have their fun by using words in sentences. This show, however, dares to zig where the
00:41world zags. What if we had our fun with words by reducing them to their nuts and bolts?
00:47That's right, I'm talking about letters. Tonight, four spellers from around Australia but currently
00:53confined to this television studio will stare down some of the greatest challenges of their
00:57professional lives in the form of having to spell words. If they're the best at it, they're
01:02going to find themselves winning this! Whoa! Passage to spell more words in our next episode,
01:10otherwise known as the season finale. If they're the worst at spelling the words, they will
01:15also not go unnoticed. The contestant who does the lousiest job of meeting tonight's
01:19challenges will be forced into the corner of self-reflection to wear a paper hat. And
01:26they'll probably do the noise on you as well. And now we know what's on the line, why don't
01:32we take a moment to meet the competitors. Please welcome Greg Larson, Zoe Kunzma, Tony
01:42Armstrong, and of course, Tom Ballard! Enough clapping at the mere thought of spelling, let's
01:52get to work! Fans of the show will be very excited to see three of my trusty sidekicks here in the
02:02form of a cup, a purse, and a bucket. People who have never seen the show before need not worry,
02:06as I will now explain all of their functions consecutively. The cup, or the Coward's Cup as
02:12the real GM GMSB heads call it, contains words that are easy to spell. If you choose a word from
02:18this vessel, I can almost guarantee you'll be able to spell the word correctly and be awarded
02:22one point for your troubles. People don't often choose from this cup, and based on past results,
02:27they probably should. The purse, or the person's purse as it's known amongst the spelling community,
02:33is full of words that are more challenging yet remain within grasp. For spelling one of these
02:37words correctly, you will get two points. The bucket, or the bucket of bravery, to follow the
02:43rhythm of how I've introduced the other ones, is full of words that even I would approach with
02:47caution. And if you request and nail the spelling of one of these words, you'll be on your merry way
02:51with a whopping three points. And up first tonight is a brilliant stand-up comedian and actor who
02:58you'll recognise from the hit show The Tourist, it's Greg Larson! It's a lovely big wave, Greg.
03:06Thank you so much, I love to wave. I do feel like I've made a faux pas backstage. When I saw Aaron,
03:14I said, hey man, what are you doing here? And it made it sound like I didn't know that he was on
03:21the show. And that is true. And I just feel weird, I just want to get it off my chest. Did you bring
03:29this up with Aaron, or did you wait until... I'd just been thinking about it, and I just want to say it
03:36and make it not weird. I'll apologise to him if he comes out. Well, he is part of the show. I just thought
03:44I might have ruined his day and he might just not do it. Well, I've got something on the card here
03:49which says, Greg, you're a man who wears glasses. Yes. There's a lot of pressure on your shoulders to be
03:53smart tonight. I don't know if I'm going to spell good tonight, but I do know that I'm going to drink
04:01exclusively from the Coward's Cup. Right on. Well, from the Coward's Cup, Greg, the first word on our
04:06show tonight is market. I'll get the language of origin out of interest. Finance boys. Market, yeah, easy.
04:24M-A-R-K-E-T. Market. That is correct. Well done, Greg, the point is yours. And our next speller is the host of
04:35Queer Australia and an award-winning comedian who must be a confident and pedantic speller given that she has
04:40an umlaut on her E of all the letters. It's Zoe Coombs-Murrah. Zoe. Hi. You won Best Show at the Melbourne
04:52International Comedy Festival for your work as the pathetic and bigoted comedian Dave. I want to settle this
04:58once and for all with the cameras rolling. When will I get royalties for inspiring your act? When I am making more
05:08money than you. That's a good answer. Well, it's such a pleasure to have you on the show, Zoe. Do you remember the
05:15last time you had to spell under pressure? I don't, yeah, no, I don't remember the last time I had to spell under
05:20pressure. You don't, like, there is no pressure anymore. Everything's spellcheck. Yeah, that's not, there's not a
05:25joke there. It's just, um, I'm just being honest. And that's very brave. B-R-A-V-E. Just, just play along in your head
05:36when they're not your words, mate. Interesting coming from someone who chose the Coward's Cup. Zoe, which receptacle
05:45would you like to spell from? I'm gonna, I'm gonna go for the person's purse just because I think I'll probably get it
05:50wrong either way. But it'll be more embarrassing if it's from the Coward's Cup. From the person's purse, your word is
05:59linguist. Oh, okay. Before you spell, I remind you, you can always ask for a language of origin, a definition or to hear
06:07the word in a sentence. Well, I'll let you tell your silly little joke. I appreciate it. I'm here for you, babe. What
06:20is the language of origin? Oh, well, they'll tell you. And can you use it in a sentence, please? Now you speak in my
06:31language, said the linguist, teaching someone to speak in their language. Okay, linguist, I would say is L-I-N-G-U-I-S-T.
06:47That is correct. Well done, Zoe. And this next speller will be familiar to audiences across the ABC. It's failed athlete
06:57turned successful broadcaster Tony Armstrong. Guy, you were nice to everyone else in the introduction. Well, I've called
07:08you a successful broadcaster. Yeah, that's not where we started. I got another one for you. Tony Armstrong, you've got a
07:15name that isn't afraid to boast about your physicality. Though tonight, I'll bet you're going to wish that your name was
07:20Tony Brain Strong. What do you think about that one? Hard not to like it. Well, Tony, I'm honestly delighted to have you
07:33with us. Which receptacle would you like to spell for us? Well, it kind of feels like we've been working our way up to the
07:36bucket of bravery, so why not hop in? Really? All right, from the bucket of bravery, it's Tony Armstrong. And your word is
07:46candelabra. Can you use it in a sentence for me, please? Did you know the movie Beauty and the Beast, the beauty is actually
07:56that sexy candelabra? And the beast is that nasty woman. Right, candelabra? Yes. C-A-N-D-L-E-B-R-A-H. That is incorrect. I'm sorry,
08:13Tony. Was I close? At the start, yeah. Candelabra is spelled C-A-N-D-E-L-A-B-R-A. I wasn't that far off. Why? It's a pretty precise
08:26show, in some respects. And the defending champion, a man who seems to be as passionate about correct spelling as me, it's Tom Bello!
08:36It's good to have you back, Tom. You've made quite a home for yourself in that little corner of our studio, using my show as an audition to get back on the ABC, eh, brother?
08:45Yes, I have literally nothing else on. Well, you're welcome. You looking to beat these suckers? I just hope that the best speller wins. Yes, I'm going to beat them.
09:00Oh, wow, I like this. A very confident, almost villainous turn from the far podium. It's good to have someone to root against. Okay, Tom, which receptacle would you like to spell from?
09:12I'll have a crack at the bucket, please. All right, from the bucket of bravery, your word is supercilious. Supercilious, can I have a definition, please?
09:27Well, you seem pretty sure of yourself after going for the bucket, Tom. Why don't you tell us?
09:30Suck it. Language of origin, please. Melbourne. Can I also have it in a sentence, please? Idiot. Supercilious is not a combination of super silly and super serious. Are you being silly? You can't be serious, said the supercilious man.
09:52This show is dumb. Yeah, masquerades as smart, doesn't it? Quiet, zero. Supercilious. S-U-P-E-R-C-I-L-I-O-U-S. That is correct.
10:15Incredible to think, not ten minutes ago, none of these contestants had any points. And now, Greg, Tom and Zoe do, while Tony's sticking to his guns by registering none. No time for back patting or wound looking just yet, and we've got some problems to solve.
10:32Who owns it? For decades, verging on centuries, Australians and New Zealanders have quibbled as we lay claim to a variety of mediocre inventions and offerings to the global marketplace. In this round, each spelling word will be based on something that both nations like to claim as their own. You can win up to two points in this round, one for a correct spelling and one for correctly identifying who owns it.
10:58And as the final say on cultural ownership, we have the esteemed company of Australasian historian, Professor Aaron Cheng.
11:07Hi, Montgomery. I love history. It's so good. Most of my life has occurred during history.
11:19History is a crazy subject, because a lot of good things have happened in history. For example, women were allowed to vote. But then a lot of bad things have also happened in history, like they were allowed to drive.
11:39What are you doing? Who is writing this material? I'm kind of the moral backbone of this show. Guy, do you want to hear a riddle? Yeah, give me a riddle.
12:01So, who am I? You can only see me by looking back. And the longer you study me, the further away I get.
12:11Your history? Yep.
12:13Before you each take your turn in this round, Aaron will lift a cloche and reveal a visual aid, representing your contentious thing. To further help you, you may ask me for a country of origin and Aaron for his impression.
12:29Now, as the Black Eyed Peas famously sang in 2004 after interference from the record label, let's get it started.
12:39Greg, as an Australian star signed with New Zealand Rising, this round should be right in your wheelhouse.
12:48I was born in New Zealand. I grew up in Australia. I am loyal to both. I love both. They both have their strengths and weaknesses. Lord of the Rings.
12:58Where does Lord of the Rings sit? It's set in Middle Earth. The Shire kind of represents, I guess, a Nordic kind of culture, I think.
13:10Sorry, did you misunderstand whether he said, where does it sit or where does it set, based on his New Zealand accent?
13:18Well, I thought set too. Say sit and say set.
13:22You know, this is my, I'm the boss.
13:26And the people have spoken.
13:28So sit and settle down and let's see what you're spelling, Greg.
13:33By the way, Greg, I'm really pissed off you didn't know I was in the show.
13:39I did know you were in the show. I just temporarily forgot. I'm jet lagged from flying from Melbourne.
13:45Sorry, Aaron, are you in the show?
13:48Um, yes. This is the evidence.
13:55I'll unveil this.
13:56It's a great idea.
13:59Oh, look. It's everyone's favourite horse, Far Lap.
14:05Born and bred in Timaru, New Zealand, raced and fed all across Australia. His bones are in Wellington, his skin is in Melbourne, and his heart's in Canberra.
14:13This is one confused horse.
14:17And your word is Far Lap.
14:20Before you spell him, you can ask for a country of origin and if you can ask for Aaron's impression.
14:25I can ask for a country of origin, isn't that the whole point?
14:27Go for it.
14:29Country of origin.
14:30Nice try.
14:35Can I have an impression, please, of Far Lap?
14:39Oh my gosh, I'm so much quicker than the other horses.
14:48So he's part of the show, is that right?
14:51He's a huge part of the show.
14:54Yeah, I think I can get this. Far Lap. P-H-A-R-L-A-P.
15:02That is correct!
15:06You get one point for your spelling. And now for another point. Who owns it?
15:10I'm going to pick a side. I'm going to stay with the country of my birth and say New Zealand.
15:14Okay, let's find out. Aaron, who owns Far Lap?
15:16Greg, you were right. We have audio evidence of Far Lap and his name in a New Zealand accent.
15:25Name!
15:28Well, that settles that then.
15:32Zoe, you're up next and undoubtedly excited to prove the depth and breadth of your knowledge on our trans-Tasman rivalry.
15:38Oh, we haven't reset the film.
15:41Sorry, that's my bad.
15:43Aaron, remember, you're in the show.
15:49I hope it's the right one.
15:50Next time, wait till it's on there.
16:00Zoe, the origins of your word come from ballerina Anna Matveyevna Pavlova, who of course was the inspiration for the popular dessert.
16:09Oh!
16:12Best enjoyed as a vessel for whipped cream and fresh fruit, you'd be hard-pressed to find a cake that deteriorates in quality more quickly.
16:20Zoe, your word is Anna Matveyevna Pavlova.
16:31Do you have some silly little jokes prepared for this one?
16:34Aaron might have an impression.
16:37Sorry, I forgot you're in the show, Aaron.
16:42Can you do an impression, please?
16:44My impression of Pavlova is it's a little too sweet.
16:50Pretty good.
16:55You can also ask for a country of origin.
16:57Can I have a country of origin?
16:59Nice try.
17:01OK, um, A, M, A, M, A, D, V, O, Y, I, there's going to be like a Z or something in there, but I'm going to go with V, N, Y, A.
17:29Pavlova.
17:31P, A, V, L, O, V, A.
17:35That is incorrect.
17:40I'm so sorry. Anna Matveyevna Pavlova is spelled A, N, N, A, M, A, T, V, E, Y, E, V, N, A, P, A, V, L, O, V, A.
17:50Now, I cannot give you a point for the spelling, but for a point on ownership, who owns it?
17:56Well, I suspect the answer is going to be New Zealand for all of them.
18:02New Zealand, it's New Zealand.
18:04OK, we'll defer to Aaron on this one.
18:06That is a good guess, Zoe, but I cannot award you any points.
18:11Anna Matveyevna Pavlova is, of course, her legacy is owned by her beautiful homeland, Russia.
18:23I can yet award you any points.
18:27So sorry, Zoe, I really...
18:29No, you're not.
18:30No, yeah, I'm not. I'm not too sorry.
18:33All right, Tony, well, I hope you had your Weebix for breakfast,
18:36and if you did, I hope you spent some time reading the box they came in,
18:39because your word is inspired by this humble bowl of dry cereal.
18:47Not the cereal itself, but rather the maker of the cereal, which is sanitarium.
18:53Your word is sanitarium.
18:56What?!
18:59I already said it twice, Zoe.
19:04Jenny, can you do an impression, please, of sanitarium for me?
19:08And I've loved you on the show so far.
19:10I think you've been great.
19:12They should put you in the show.
19:18My impression would be, oh, my gosh, I've run out of bread for breakfast.
19:25What am I going to do?
19:26Oh, I've actually got all this cereal in milk.
19:30That's the person thinking about the sanitarium.
19:36I really can't help you any more than I've already helped you.
19:42I want to believe you'll help me with the country of origin.
19:44Can I get a country of origin?
19:46Nice try.
19:50Sanitarium.
19:51All right, sanitarium.
19:52S-A-N-I-T-A-R-E-A-U-M.
19:57That is incorrect.
19:59I'm so sorry, Tony.
20:01Sanitarium is spelt S-A-N-I-T-A-R-I-U-M.
20:06But all is not lost.
20:07There's still a point available.
20:09Who owns it?
20:10Australia.
20:11All right, Aaron?
20:12I really wish I could give you the points, Tony, but...
20:16Sanitarium is not owned by Australia.
20:18It's owned by the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
20:25No points awarded.
20:26I'm so sorry.
20:27And I'm just getting a note from upstairs,
20:30kind of saying,
20:31could you guys, like, stop saying that I'm not part of the show?
20:38They're saying it's really hurting
20:40some of the feelings of some of the personnel.
20:43And lucky last,
20:44looking to reassert their dominance over the world of spelling,
20:47this is an easy one.
20:48Tom, your word is a legend of their home country
20:51and a recognisable name to people from all around the world.
20:56Oh!
20:57Well, the shoes might not give it away immediately,
21:00but wait until you hear who owns them,
21:02the iconic Cathy Freeman.
21:05Your word is Cathy Freeman.
21:07What?!
21:10And remember, you can't ask Aaron for an impression.
21:15Don't do blackface, bro.
21:19I don't care if you do it on another night,
21:21not while I'm here, man.
21:23I'd love a country of origin, please, guys.
21:25Nice try.
21:27I'm fascinated to see what's about to happen.
21:29Aaron, what's your impression of Cathy Freeman?
21:32I don't mind exercise.
21:40Cathy Freeman.
21:42C-A-T-H-Y-F-R-E-E-M-A-N.
21:46That is incorrect.
21:49I can see what's happened there.
21:51You were thinking of Cathy Freeman,
21:53the famous Australian sprinter.
21:58I was thinking of the management consultant,
22:00Cathy Freeman with a K...
22:03..who works at PwC and evidently, in her spare time,
22:07does enjoy jogging.
22:13It's fun when it's happening this way.
22:15It's so good, man.
22:17So you can't get a point for the spelling,
22:19but the question is, who owns it?
22:24I don't know what you're asking me.
22:26What is the country of origin of Cathy Freeman,
22:28the management consultant?
22:30Cathy Freeman, the management consultant?
22:32A woman you...made up?
22:35That's the question you have to answer.
22:40I'm going to say the greatest country on earth, New Zealand.
22:43It's not the correct answer.
22:46The correct answer is that Cathy is an independent woman
22:49and nobody owns her.
22:56Well, hopefully that settles some debates
22:59that have honestly been raging in living rooms and pubs
23:02across our two countries for years.
23:04And now we've all got the same information,
23:06let's share in some more data with a look at our scores.
23:09Tony's still on zero, Zoe on two,
23:11and tied in first place with three points each,
23:13it's Greg and Tom!
23:16And while we know exactly who sits where on our leaderboard,
23:19it's time to learn how everyone is feeling.
23:23Feelings.
23:25In modern-day Australia, we know feelings is something
23:28we pay a therapist over $100 to help us better understand
23:31in our own life, like why the fact you never got given
23:34Optimus Prime for your seventh birthday
23:36has led to a lack of assertiveness in your marriage.
23:39But did you know that feeling is also something
23:42you can do with your hands?
23:44In front of you each is a mystery box
23:46that contains a unique item.
23:48One by one, I will ask you to put your hands
23:52in your box, feel, identify and spell your item.
23:56To assist you, you may ask for the feeling,
23:59the thing you're feeling makes me feel.
24:04I will only accept answers in the form of spelling,
24:07and much like a Chinese restaurant who have run out of duck,
24:10no peeking.
24:14That's the joke of the night.
24:18That's a good one.
24:22Greg. Yes.
24:23You're up first.
24:25You want to plunge your hands into the unknown?
24:27Yeah, please. Both hands?
24:29Both hands. It's your choice. Tuck in.
24:31You can go one hand. Tuck in. Have a good feel.
24:43It opens up. I know what this is.
24:46I know exactly what it is and I'm really annoyed
24:49because I know I can't spell it.
24:53What is the feeling that you feel while I'm feeling this feel?
24:58Like I'm young boy again.
25:08R-U-S-S-I-A-N-D-O-double-L.
25:15No.
25:17That is not how you spell babushka doll.
25:23But it's a challenge. It has multiple names.
25:26I know, but on the card it says babushka doll.
25:30I'm sorry, Greg. Zoe? Yes?
25:33It's your turn.
25:36Oh, is it going to be something yuck?
25:38Oh, no.
25:40Oh, it's a vessel.
25:42It's a J-A-R that I am opening.
25:45There's going to be something yuck in here, isn't there?
25:48Why would I put something yuck in a jar?
25:50Because as I'm just learning tonight, you hate me.
25:58I thought we were friends, guys.
26:00I really like you. I'm so happy you're on the show.
26:03Now put your damn hand in the jar.
26:08Oh, it's all like...
26:11What are you...?
26:13Now, Zoe, remember, if you need a little help,
26:15you can ask for the feeling the thing you're feeling makes me feel.
26:19What is the feeling that the feeling makes you feel?
26:23It makes me feel like I'd fit right in
26:25with the butcher and the candlestick maker.
26:29So it's... I think it's dough.
26:32It feels like dough, because it would be the butcher,
26:35the baker and the candlestick maker.
26:37Is it sourdough starter?
26:40Am I going to have to spell sourdough starter?
26:45I hate you, Guy Montgomery.
26:48Look how happy he is.
26:50He's evil, man.
26:52If I spell sourdough starter, which contains dough in it,
26:58do I get the point, if it's dough?
27:00If you spell what is on this card.
27:04OK, S-O-U-R-D-O-U-G-H-S-T-A-R-T-E-R.
27:18That is correct!
27:24Doesn't that make all the hard times worth it?
27:28Do I just have to play for the rest of the game like this?
27:31Yep.
27:34Tony. Yeah, righto.
27:39OK, this is either a judge's gavel
27:42or the thing you use to knock a cricket bat in.
27:45How does it make you feel, Guy?
27:47Just...
27:50G-A-V-E-L.
27:52That is correct!
27:53Oh, he's on the board!
27:55Yeah, baby!
28:01Woo!
28:02Woo!
28:03I'm so happy for you, man.
28:05One point is yours.
28:08OK, Tom, let's have a crack.
28:10OK, Guy.
28:12All right, we've got ourselves a bowl.
28:14Oh, boy.
28:15And we've got things in the bowl.
28:19That's for sure.
28:21Oh, you absolute...
28:26Now, remember, you can ask...
28:28Yeah, I know!
28:30I can tell you how this is making me feel.
28:32How does this make you feel?
28:34Like I'm at my grandma's.
28:36Yep.
28:37Yep, it's f***ing potpourri.
28:42This shit right here?
28:44It's potpourri.
28:46P-O-U...
28:48P-O-U-R-R-I.
28:50That is incorrect.
28:52Potpourri is spelt P-O-T-P-O-U-R-R-I.
28:56Why?!
28:57Because that's how they decided to spell it.
29:01All right, with that round under our belt,
29:03we have Tony on the board with one,
29:05and tied in first place with three points each,
29:07Greg, Tom and Zoe!
29:11This next round isn't just about the brains,
29:13but also the brawn.
29:20Battle of the Codes.
29:21This isn't your traditional battle
29:23where sporting codes are competing against each other
29:25for the eyeballs of the nation.
29:27No, no.
29:28Tonight we're doing things a little differently.
29:31In this round, we have paired each of our contestants
29:33with an athlete from a different winter sport
29:36in a battle to determine which code
29:38can claim intellectual superiority.
29:40So please welcome four real-life professional athletes!
29:49And we couldn't do this round
29:51without one of the most incisive minds in Australian sports,
29:54all the way from the set of his hit TV show,
29:56Chen's Den, for sporting men, they, them and woo men.
30:00Live from the bullpen, it's Aaron Chen!
30:09Yes, good on you, guys.
30:11Sports, it's one of the favourite pastimes of the nation,
30:15and we are lucky enough to get four of Australia's
30:19greatest sporting legends that we could afford
30:23and have great availabilities.
30:27In this round, spellers and their athletes
30:30will be competing as duos, with the winning duo
30:33not only earning maximum points for the speller
30:35but also taking home the inaugural Guy Montgomery's
30:38Guymon Spelling Bee's Great Sporting Trophy!
30:43Awarded to the code who is the best at spelling
30:47and therefore the best overall.
30:49In your pairs, you'll be given a word
30:51relating to your football code.
30:53You can discuss who's more confident in spelling the word
30:56but not how to spell it.
30:58Once you've made your choice,
30:59your nominated speller will attempt the word.
31:01Spell it correctly, you proceed to the next round,
31:04where the non-spelling team member
31:05will tackle the next word.
31:07Spell it incorrectly,
31:08you've brought shame on your sporting code
31:10and also yourselves as individuals.
31:15To help your team, you can ask for a language of origin,
31:17a definition and hear the word in a post-match sentence.
31:21If you fail, the athlete from your team
31:23must retire from spelling
31:24and join Aaron on the panel for a post-match interview
31:27and eventually a lucrative post-spelling career
31:29in broadcasting.
31:35First up is Tom Ballard and his guest athlete
31:37here to represent Rugby League from West Tigers,
31:39it's Isaiah Popolini!
31:48That's bad.
31:50He just said, this is bad.
31:53Nah, we alright boys.
31:55Now, to your first word.
31:57Ice, you play in the second row,
31:59great position to play in Rugby League,
32:01terrible place to sit in the movies.
32:03You get a sore neck.
32:05It's not my favourite position though,
32:06that would have to be one that is ever so slightly
32:08more difficult to spell.
32:10Huge shout out to everyone wearing the number six jersey,
32:12a position confusingly called five-eighth.
32:15And the first word for your spelling team is five-eighth.
32:18Five-eighth, how do you feel about that Isaiah?
32:20This is your position that you play?
32:22Nah, not me.
32:23Okay.
32:24I play next to him.
32:25Okay, cool.
32:26Do you often spell this word?
32:28Yeah, I think I can spell it.
32:29You think you can spell it?
32:30I think I've seen it enough on the whiteboard to remember.
32:35I think I'm in love with you.
32:38Can we have a definition please?
32:40As a decimal fraction, it is 0.625.
32:47Just for good measure, a post-match sentence please.
32:50Yeah, look, everyone had to put a huge effort in
32:52just to make it to the final whistle.
32:53I thought my lungs were going to explode
32:55when we went into the sheds at half-time,
32:56but just came back out feeling really refreshed.
32:59What would I put it down to?
33:00Well, when the half-time oranges were going around,
33:02I suppose you could say I gorged.
33:04Usually I'd have one or two, but I had five-eighths of an orange
33:08and that was the difference.
33:14Classic stuff.
33:15All right, if you feel good, go for it, man.
33:17I believe in you.
33:18I'll keep this bowl closed to help you get in the zone.
33:21Can't grab it?
33:22Yeah, you can't grab it.
33:24Okay, I feel comfortable now.
33:27What do I spell now?
33:28All right, F-I-V-E, space, E-I-G-T-H.
33:37That is incorrect.
33:39I'm so sorry, Ice.
33:40Five-eighths, it's F-I-V-E-E-I-G-H-T-H.
33:46And now, Ice, you get the pleasure of joining Aaron over
33:49on the set of his incredible show.
33:51Hey, mate.
33:52Give him a huge round of applause, everybody, one more time.
33:57Thanks so much, mate, that was awesome.
34:02So great to meet you, Ice, and just great to speak to another jock.
34:09So you slipped up there right at the end.
34:12It's a game of two halves and you messed up the second half.
34:16How are you feeling?
34:18I'm pretty disappointed.
34:21I missed out on one letter and that's how you spell eight.
34:26That's pretty sad.
34:28Well, we'd love to see it.
34:29Thank you, Ice, take a seat.
34:31You're a legend in my eyes.
34:37Next up, joining Tony Armstrong, here to represent Australian
34:40Rules Football from the Greater Western Sydney Giants,
34:42it's Nick Hale!
34:49Tony, Nick, two tall athletic lads such as yourselves, tell me,
34:52if you boys both struggle in this round, am I going to get a
34:54hiding around the back of the bike sheds at morning sitting?
34:57Yes.
34:59Do you guys actually, do you know each other?
35:01I think we might have played against each other, I reckon,
35:03back in the day.
35:04One of us still playing.
35:06Yeah, it's got to hurt, you know.
35:08Tony, while you retired from footy to focus on your media career,
35:11Nick's played 170 more AFL games than you and yet,
35:14according to my data, you've appeared on the same number
35:16of Spelling Bee episodes.
35:18I mean, that's got to hurt.
35:22This is unbelievable stuff.
35:24You're evil, mate.
35:26I'm all right, we're all here for a bit of fun.
35:28Yeah!
35:30All right, well, it's a pleasure to have you both with us.
35:32And for your spelling word?
35:34Oh, no.
35:35Yeah.
35:36Well, uniforms, of course, are a massive part of all sports
35:38and Aussie Rules is no exception.
35:40If it was an exception, everyone would be running around in the nude.
35:44But sadly, that's not the case yet.
35:46Instead, the players are all running around wearing a Guernsey
35:50and your first word is Guernsey.
35:53Do you know how to spell it? Can I write it down?
35:55No, you cannot write it down.
35:57There's one letter I'm scared of.
35:59This is why I still play.
36:01There's one letter I'm scared of.
36:03I can't believe a professional athlete is scared of a little thing
36:06like a letter.
36:08Right, I'll go.
36:09Yeah.
36:11G-E-R...
36:13S.
36:15We're going to go E-Y.
36:19That is incorrect.
36:23You were scared of the wrong letter.
36:25I'm so sorry.
36:26I was rooting for you.
36:27Guernsey is spelt G-U-E-R-N-S-E-Y.
36:31Give us a hug, mate.
36:32No points awarded.
36:33Everybody, give it up for Nick Haynes!
36:39Yes, guy, we've got a big one.
36:41I, um...
36:43See, that was a big word out there.
36:45Guernsey, um...
36:47You spelt kind of something really different.
36:51Yeah, I think I was defeated before it started,
36:53so I needed a better positive mentality coming in next time.
36:57And how do you reckon you'll get that psychology up?
37:01Yeah, probably less golf and apps and working on my spelling
37:04and watching this show, I think, from now on will help.
37:07You heard it here first.
37:09Now Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee has one official viewer.
37:16Thank you very much.
37:19Representing association football, or soccer,
37:22and joining Zoe is a 32-cap Matilda.
37:24It's the Melbourne Victories' Alex Chittier!
37:32Alex, you play this sport with the lowest risk of concussion
37:35out of our guests, and you're paired with Zoe,
37:37making you the only team made up of two women.
37:39You both must feel at a massive advantage.
37:43Have you teamed up before? Do you know one another?
37:46No. I mean, I've watched her, which sounds creepy.
37:49And I've watched her, but she was real small on the screen.
37:53Well, it's an absolute delight to have you with us.
37:56Football is known for its passionate fans,
37:59who manage to look past the game's constant nil-all scorelines
38:02and create the best atmospheres in the world of sports.
38:05How are they able to look past those scorelines?
38:07Mostly because they're barely watching the game
38:10and focusing on blowing their vuvuzelas.
38:17Your word.
38:18What did I do to you, guys?
38:21What did I do to you?
38:23Is vuvuzela.
38:27OK.
38:28Who wants it?
38:29Are you feeling confident?
38:30No!
38:32But I feel, do you want...?
38:34I would like you to do it.
38:36Take one for the team.
38:39That's a sporting analogy, I think.
38:43V-U-V-U-Z-E-L-A.
38:50That is correct!
38:54Yes! Yes!
38:57Give it up for Zoe and Alex still in the game!
39:02And our fourth and final athlete representing Rugby Union,
39:05he's a star lock for both the Brumbies and the Wallabies,
39:07it's Tom Hooper!
39:13Tommy, baby, be honest with me,
39:15are you using this appearance to try and leverage
39:17a multi-million dollar transfer to Rugby League?
39:22Me, it is.
39:23We were having a chat in the locker room before, but nah.
39:25Nah?
39:26Mate, I'm hopeless at Rugby League.
39:28Yeah, I'd be terrible.
39:29And, Tommy, are you a strong speller?
39:31No, look, I started off pretty good.
39:33Ran into an old classmate of mine
39:35and he said he was doing his PhD in psychology,
39:37we were in the same class,
39:38but he took a left turn and I took a right turn
39:40and started slamming my head against the block,
39:42so, yeah, I'd gone downhill pretty quick.
39:45Yeah, but I'll bet you he's in hundreds and thousands
39:47of dollars of debt.
39:50Anyway, Rugby Union,
39:52or as we know it in New Zealand, Normal Style,
39:57is a beautiful and complex game with many strategies.
40:00One of the most popular strategies is having the ball
40:03and not letting the other team have the ball.
40:07This is also known by massive Ruggerheads as possession.
40:11Your word is possession.
40:14I was really hoping it was going to be ball.
40:19Possession.
40:21Now, remember, before you spell,
40:22you can always ask for a language of origin,
40:24a definition or to hear the word in a post-match sentence.
40:26Yeah, cos he's got, like, three jokes set up for, like...
40:30Don't make me look nerdy in front of the athletes!
40:34Um, can you use it in a sentence?
40:36Yeah, look, it was a tough game.
40:38I regret the time I spent in the Sinbin for that high tackle,
40:40but I have been suffering from a demonic possession at the moment.
40:45And I'd argue when I took out their number eight with a head high,
40:48that wasn't actually me,
40:49but the ancient demon Asgul controlling my body.
40:52Blah-blah-blah, I've spoken to the physio
40:54and we're hoping to have Asgul exercise in time for the semis.
40:58That's great stuff.
41:02All right. You OK? OK. All right, all right, all right, all right.
41:06P-O-S-E-S-S-I-O-N.
41:13That is incorrect.
41:16Was there a second S? I'm so sorry.
41:18Possession is spelt P-O-S-S-E-S-S-I-O-N.
41:25Greg, I'm going to get you to go and do a post-match interview.
41:30Oh, nice one.
41:34G'day, Greg.
41:37So, you really let your team down today.
41:41Yeah, mate, look, it's tough to go out there and, like, let the boys down,
41:44but, you know, I tried the best I could,
41:46and, you know, at the end of the day, you know, that's all you can do,
41:49and, yeah, I'm hoping to get them back next week.
41:51Thanks, Chitty.
41:54Are you on this show?
42:00And with that, with everyone just folding immediately,
42:04except for one pair, it's time to anoint.
42:07Soccer is the greatest code in all of winter sports!
42:11Congratulations, Zoe and Alex, for their incredible performance.
42:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:31Now, is there anything you'd like to say to your fellow competitors?
42:35Suck shit.
42:39Incredible. And, as we always do on Battle Of The Codes,
42:43for the final word.
42:45I guess what we really found out is that, um,
42:48sports players are smarter than you think,
42:51and comedians are, um, more stupid.
42:56Insightful as ever.
42:58Now, let's take a quick look at our scores,
43:00and we have Tom Bellard on three,
43:03Tony on one, Zoe on four points,
43:06and Tom Hooper on the show with three points!
43:12Last things last!
43:14And the last thing on this show has always been,
43:16and continues to be, the buzz round.
43:23That's right, same title, same title card,
43:26same host, brand-new words.
43:28In case you've been living under a rock,
43:30let me explain how this works.
43:32The buzz round is an all-play round
43:34in which all of you finally get to press that tempting button
43:37that sits on top of your respective podiums.
43:39In this round, I have a list of loosely-themed words
43:41that I'm going to read from.
43:43Your job is to buzz in and spell them.
43:45Get it right, get a point.
43:47Get it wrong, lose a point.
43:49At the conclusion of this round,
43:51we will have tonight's spelling champion,
43:53spelling middles, and spelling loser.
43:55And because Tony's doing a great job of losing so far,
43:58I'm going to give you a small advantage
44:00in the form of choice.
44:02Would you like the theme for this buzz round to be
44:04Olympics, cars, office, or books?
44:08Office, guy.
44:10Then office it shall be.
44:12Let's go.
44:14Stapler.
44:15Go ahead, Zoe.
44:16S-T-A-P-L-E-R.
44:19Correct.
44:20Sushi.
44:21Tony.
44:22S-U-S-H-I.
44:23Correct.
44:24Synergy.
44:25Go ahead, Greg.
44:27S-Y-N-E-R-G-Y.
44:31Correct.
44:32Circle deck.
44:33C-I-R-C-L-E space B-A-C-K.
44:37Correct.
44:38Ergonomic.
44:39Go ahead, Greg.
44:41E-R-G-O-N-O-M-I-C.
44:50Correct.
44:51Administrative.
44:52Tony.
44:53A-D-M-I-N-S-T-R-A-T-I-V-E.
44:58Incorrect.
45:00Arduous.
45:01Tom.
45:02A-R-D-U-O-U-S.
45:05Correct.
45:06Circle back.
45:07Go ahead, Tony.
45:10That's good stuff, mate.
45:12C-I-R-C-L-E space B-A-C-K.
45:16Correct.
45:17KPIs.
45:18Go ahead, Greg.
45:22K-P-I-S.
45:25Correct.
45:27Misogyny.
45:29I know this one really well.
45:31M-Y-S-O-G-O-N-Y.
45:37That is incorrect.
45:39Circle back.
45:40Go ahead, Tony.
45:43C-I-R-C-L-E space B-A-C-K.
45:46Correct.
45:47Paradigm shift.
45:48Go ahead, Greg.
45:49Damn it.
45:50Damn it.
45:51Damn it.
45:53Paradigm shift.
45:54Paradigm shift.
45:55P-A-R-A-D-I-G-M space S-H-I-F-T.
46:05Correct.
46:06Annual picnic.
46:07Damn it.
46:09Tom, you may spell as the spelling gods spoke after you buzzed in.
46:13A-N-N-U-A-L space P-I-C-N-I-C.
46:17That is correct.
46:19But we must stop.
46:22I do not wish to defy the authority of the spelling gods
46:25and as we stop I can see that our winner tonight is Greg Larson!
46:31Congratulations!
46:34You are the champion
46:36and you've earned yourself a ticket to this season's finale!
46:43And let's also honour the Chinese-Australian army knife
46:46of a comedy and spelling assistant,
46:49it's Aaron Che!
46:54However, not all of our clapping is for a good cause.
46:58As a matter of fact, this next round of clapping is conciliatory
47:01because it is purely to accompany Tony Armstrong
47:04as he walks himself to his new home,
47:06otherwise known as Dunce Avenue.
47:17And with our prize award and our loser immortalised,
47:20it's time to give one last round of applause
47:22for all of our contestants tonight,
47:24Greg Larson, Zoe Koonsmark, Tony Armstrong and Tom Bellard.
47:28Join us for our season finale
47:30as Greg takes on Michael Hing, Tom Walker and Alex Lee.
47:33Right now though, you'd best call me Edify Montgomery
47:36because I feel morally and intellectually improved.
47:39Goodnight!
47:42Great job, Greg. Great job, Zoe.
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