- 8/14/2024
w/ Rhys Nicholson, Concetta Caristo, Dan Rath
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:02Good evening, and thanks for stopping by.
00:04You'll be pleased to hear you're just in time
00:06for yet another episode of Guy Montgomery's Guy Monspellingby.
00:09I'm Matt Watson.
00:10Until next time, bye for now.
00:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:30I'm the aforementioned Guy Montgomery,
00:32and this is the aforementioned Guy Monspellingby.
00:35My entire life, I've been plagued by the red squiggly lines
00:38that appear in word documents the world over.
00:40They haunt my dreams,
00:42squiggling their digital reading through every groove of my brain.
00:45LAUGHTER
00:47Torching me, teasing me, condescending me.
00:50Did you mean to accommodate with two Ms, you idiot?
00:53The M on my keyboard is sticky, OK?
00:55But do you know what they say?
00:57If you can't beat them, join them.
00:59And tonight, I will be playing the role of a red squiggly line
01:03as four comedians spell a variety of words
01:06in their pursuit of winning the biggest ticket item
01:08in Australian show business.
01:10That would be this big ticket right here!
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:15Giving them direct passage to continue spelling in next week's episode.
01:19Not everyone can win, though.
01:21In fact, only one person can win.
01:23Two people can finish in the middle, and one person will lose.
01:26Before PC culture went mad,
01:28losing used to be humiliating.
01:30And thanks to this show, it's humiliating once more.
01:33Our losing speller will end the episode over there,
01:37in the dunce's corner, wearing the dunce's hat.
01:40GROWLING
01:44Who's vying for the crown tonight?
01:46Why, it's four of the best.
01:47Please welcome this week's spellers.
01:49Rhys Nicholson!
01:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:53Conchita Caruso!
01:55Dan Ress!
01:57And someone who's currently recognised as the best speller on TV,
02:01it's Tom Mellon!
02:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:04I'm pumped up.
02:05I'm sure they're all itching for a turn to talk,
02:07so let's get spelling!
02:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:13Here they are, the three receptacles
02:15that have come to define our first round,
02:17the spelling round.
02:19In this round, our spellers will get their first peek
02:21into the world of competitive spelling.
02:23In the interest of fairness, I will even let them choose
02:25how challenging their spelling word may be.
02:27Words from the Cowards' Cup are all words I picked up
02:30when I was hanging outside a local kindergarten
02:32earlier this afternoon.
02:34If you're curious, it was a work trip.
02:36These words are easy to spell and highly recommended
02:40to anyone who is devoid of dignity and wants a free point.
02:44The person's purse is full of words I picked up
02:46when hanging outside a muffin break.
02:48These are regular person words.
02:52And so are naturally worth a regular amount of points,
02:55which we can all agree is two.
02:58Finally, the bucket of bravery.
03:00I found these words at a local Bunnings,
03:02where my preconception of the intellect of tradies
03:04was delightfully subverted.
03:07These are tricky spelling words,
03:09and as such, worth three points apiece.
03:12And tonight's first speller is an award-winning comedian,
03:14a non-award-winning author,
03:16and likes to pass judgement on drag queens for money.
03:18It's Rhys Nicholson!
03:23Rhys.
03:24A fun fact about my... I wrote a book last year
03:26and lots of comments on Amazon
03:28about all the spelling mistakes in it.
03:30Oh, no!
03:31I don't think it was proofread correctly.
03:33Who proofread it?
03:34Penguin Random House.
03:36Anyways, hi, I'm happy to do another one.
03:39So you say you made some errors in your book.
03:42How are you with, you know, spelling and whatnot?
03:45Look, words with S, very good at spelling,
03:47not so good at saying.
03:49People don't know what my name is most of the time.
03:52People think my name is...
03:53Someone genuinely the other day thought that my name was Rhys.
03:56Like a Christmas Rhys.
03:57So if I said it, it'd be like, hey, Rhys.
03:59Yeah, that.
04:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:01And see, that still sounds right to me.
04:03Well, Rhys, which reciprocal would you like the spell from?
04:06Just let's rip the band-aid off and just give it a go.
04:10I want to go for the hard ones.
04:12Your wish is my command.
04:15From the bucket of bravery, your word is...
04:25What does it mean?
04:26Am I allowed to know what it means?
04:28The definition?
04:29Yeah, please.
04:30Being scared of the number 13, which I am,
04:32and all numbers, frankly, I'm a words guy.
04:37We're going to start with a T.
04:39LAUGHTER
04:56That is incorrect.
05:00No, Triskaidekaphobia is spelled...
05:10Obviously.
05:14OK, moving down the line now.
05:16Up next is a comedian, improviser
05:18and one of the hosts of Triple J Breakfast.
05:20Please welcome Conchita Caruso!
05:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:26Conchita, it's a late night for you.
05:28You're up well past bedtime, huh?
05:30You're normally up bright and early hosting on Triple J.
05:33And did you know there are no words in the English language
05:36that have three Js in them?
05:38That's got to have you second-guessing everything
05:40before the show tonight.
05:41Yeah, I think that's poor branding.
05:43I mean, how do you feel about spelling words?
05:45Oh, spelling's tricky.
05:47You know what I mean?
05:49Sometimes you...
05:50You're going to be a great contestant.
05:53Like, for example, two words I use almost daily
05:57that I don't know how to spell, diarrhoea and hemorrhoids.
06:01Riddle me that.
06:02I look at those words every day.
06:05I'm messaging friends, I'm in group chats
06:07and I couldn't spell it for you now.
06:09And they're so intrinsically connected.
06:11Exactly.
06:12How would you use it in a sentence?
06:14The diarrhoea is ruining my hemorrhoids.
06:17There you go.
06:18Ruining my hemorrhoids.
06:20My precious hemorrhoids.
06:22My precious hemorrhoids.
06:24Ah, well, Conchita,
06:25we are delighted to have you on the show with us this evening.
06:28Which receptacle would you like to spell from?
06:30I'm not going to muck about here.
06:32I'm going right in the middle.
06:33I'm going person's purse.
06:34Not too easy, not too hard.
06:36From the person's purse?
06:37You bet.
06:38Your word is...
06:41meniscus.
06:44OK, I would like to know the definition.
06:47Meniscus remarkably has two definitions.
06:50One is water, which is curvy, just how I like it.
06:54The other is a part of the knee
06:56that sounds like it would sponsor a stadium.
06:59Could I also get it used in a sentence?
07:02Sorry, I probably should have clarified I'm a doctor of philosophy
07:06before cutting your knee open to touch your meniscus.
07:10All right.
07:11Meniscus.
07:12M-E-N-I-S-C-U-S.
07:22Meniscus.
07:23That is correct!
07:24Oh, my God!
07:25Yes!
07:31Well done.
07:32Two points are yours.
07:33Our third contestant this evening
07:35is one of Australia's very best stand-up comedians
07:37and a man I've eaten food with in three different Australian states.
07:41Those states were sleepy, hungry and happy.
07:43It's Dan Ray!
07:50Dan, you see the world in a very unique way.
07:53What do you think a spelling bee is?
07:56I think that a spelling bee,
07:58it's an interesting two words put together, you know,
08:02because, like, you know, we've got spellcheck,
08:05so that part is over,
08:07and also I heard the bees are disappearing.
08:12So it's like a two-for-one redundancy.
08:14Kind of like, you know, it'd be like arithmetic panda.
08:19Cos we've got calculators and they're disappearing, I think.
08:23But also, sometimes I spell words wrong for fun,
08:27cos it's just fun kind of to put, like, a K where a C should be and stuff.
08:32I wouldn't use that strategy tonight,
08:34but I hear what you're saying.
08:36Can I also point out that Dan is using this microphone
08:39even though it is not connected to anything?
08:41This isn't connected?
08:44You're the one spoiling the magic of TV, Rhys.
08:47What is this?
08:48I tell you what, I fought hard for those goosenecks
08:51and they do absolutely nothing...
08:53Yeah, OK, we get it, we get it!
08:56Which receptacle would you like to spell from, Dan?
08:59Definitely the person's purse.
09:01From the person's purse, Dan, your word is...
09:05toupee!
09:06Er...
09:07Before you spell, if you need any help,
09:09you can ask for a language of origin, a definition
09:11or to hear the word in a sentence.
09:13No, I know what they are, I'm looking into getting one soon.
09:16P-O-U-P-E?
09:18That is correct!
09:23Well done, Dan!
09:25And finally, at this point in our season,
09:27it wouldn't be a Spelling Bee without Tom Bello!
09:34Welcome back to the studio, Tom.
09:36How are you feeling to be back?
09:37I'm delighted to be back, Guy.
09:39This is the best show on TV.
09:40Wow.
09:41Since tonight he went off the air, I totally agree.
09:44I know who you are with words, you're great with words,
09:46I just want to know which word you want tonight.
09:48So I'm going to go with bucket of bravery, please, Guy.
09:50All right.
09:52From the bucket of bravery, your word is...
09:56foie gras.
09:58The old foie gras!
10:01One of the most cruel things a human being can do to an animal.
10:05Got to spell that for some light entertainment.
10:09I'd love a definition, please, Guy.
10:11A very good argument for vegetarianism.
10:16And a sentence, please.
10:17The two sexy ladies beckoned me to join them in bed,
10:21but my tummy was simply too full of goose liver,
10:24fattened by gavage.
10:26Lesson learned, I thought to myself,
10:28that's the last time I have foie gras before a ménage à trois.
10:34APPLAUSE
10:40Foie gras.
10:41F-O-I-E-G-R-A-S.
10:45That was correct!
10:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:50And so after the first round of spelling,
10:53the leaderboard is still pretty close.
10:55We've got Rhys on zero, Conchita and Dan on two,
10:58and out in front with the newly lead, it's Tom Bellard on three!
11:02But I wouldn't worry just yet.
11:05There are all sorts of words to come.
11:07Words from all around the world.
11:14Aarond the World.
11:15A title inspired by the name and travels of a man
11:18I'm not afraid to call my best friend,
11:20because my actual best friend is very understanding
11:23and knows I'm just saying it for TV.
11:25It's Aaron Che!
11:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:32Guy Montgomery, hello.
11:34I love to travel.
11:36I have been kicked off ten basketball teams.
11:39LAUGHTER
11:42And also 20 Jetstar flights.
11:45I love opening the door during take-off, but...
11:48LAUGHTER
11:50No, I mean, you're looking good.
11:52You look like you're ready for a big trip yourself.
11:54That's right.
11:55I actually heard a beautiful quote recently
11:59and it goes, um, around the world.
12:04Around the world.
12:06Around the world.
12:08Around the world.
12:10Thank you, Aaron.
12:11Around the world.
12:13Around the world.
12:15Around the world.
12:17And that got me thinking.
12:19LAUGHTER
12:21Why don't we do a segment with words from all around the world?
12:25Why don't we do a segment with words from all around the world?
12:33That's a great idea.
12:35By the way, Guy, do you want to hear a riddle?
12:45Where is a place that everybody goes...
12:51..um...
12:54..but only very few leave and every country is in it?
13:02Is it the world?
13:03Yep.
13:04LAUGHTER
13:08In this round, Aaron has a globe of the whole world.
13:13Now, as far as you Australians are concerned,
13:15the only two countries in the world are Australia and Bali.
13:19And one of those isn't even a country.
13:22But what if I told you there's a banquet of culture out there?
13:25From the plains of the African savannah to the mountains of Peru,
13:28from Asia to Europe, the world is a call to adventure,
13:31full of treasures untold and words unspelled.
13:34On each of your turns, Aaron will spin the globe
13:37and place a finger upon it.
13:39Wherever his finger is pointing when the world stops turning,
13:41that's where your word is from.
13:43Obviously, you'll already be armed with the country of origin,
13:46but to help, we can also offer to hear the word in a sentence
13:48and a personalised travel tip.
13:50Rhys, you've travelled a fair bit in your time as a successful comedian.
13:54Where would you like to see Aaron's finger land today?
13:57LAUGHTER
14:03Uh, why not France?
14:06OK, well...
14:07And a bit of Newcastle came out of me there, I feel like.
14:10France. We had some cans in France.
14:14Sounds fantastic. Aaron, are you ready to spin that globe?
14:17Good luck. I hope you get France.
14:20I feel like I'm at the casino.
14:26Where'd you get?
14:27Guy, it's actually not France, it's Indonesia.
14:30Oh!
14:31And to be more specific, Bali.
14:33LAUGHTER
14:35How apropos!
14:37A classic Australian holiday for a classic Australian.
14:41Bali, Indonesia, the winterless north,
14:43where ancient traditions and serene spirituality come together
14:46so a man named Jaden can drink 25 bintangs
14:49and drive his scooter into a ditch.
14:51LAUGHTER
14:53And, Rhys, your word is...
14:58Oh, so many of my cousins wear the shirt.
15:01Um...
15:03B-I...
15:06Is it H-N?
15:08P-A-I-N-G?
15:12That is incorrect.
15:14Bintang is spelt quite simply B-I-N-T-A-N-G.
15:18LAUGHTER
15:22You spelt Bintang!
15:27It's like Bami, Bami.
15:29Bami, maybe I was thinking Bami.
15:31Bami was mapping to the sun.
15:37I've found my best friend on the show.
15:42OK, Conchetta,
15:44what's the number one travel destination on your bucket list?
15:47Italy! Of course!
15:49I've never been! Really? Yeah!
15:51That's mad! It's criminal!
15:54That's like me saying I've never had sex with a man.
15:58Literally!
16:00Have you got plans to go?
16:02Not...
16:04Not... Don't have enough money.
16:06Not... Probably won't fit that in.
16:08Not this year.
16:09Hopefully we can get you a little closer to Italy right now.
16:12Aaron, are you ready to spin that?
16:14Sorry, I've been zoning out.
16:18Whatever you said, I hope it happens.
16:23To Italy, baby.
16:31No way! No way!
16:33No!
16:35What did you get?
16:37Kind of weird, but Indonesia.
16:41Where in Indonesia?
16:43Bali, to be specific.
16:46Back to Bali?
16:48And if we're going back, why not pick up some of the local culture?
16:52Now, when most Australians visit Bali,
16:54they say thank you by saying it in English,
16:56but louder and slower!
16:59So the locals can understand.
17:01But did you know that Indonesians have their own language?
17:05And the Indonesian for thank you is terima kasih.
17:09Your word is terima kasih.
17:13Could I please get a personalised travel tip?
17:16Stand out from the crowd of tourists from your country
17:19by doing the bare minimum.
17:21You'll be amazed what a difference it can make.
17:25And what's the other thing I've got available?
17:27In a sentence? Yes.
17:29Terima kasih is a sentence that an Australian has never said in Bali.
17:36OK.
17:37T...
17:39I...
17:40D...
17:42D...
17:44Aaron, no!
17:50What are you doing?
17:51I just had to giggle a little bit.
17:55Yeah, T-I-D-D-I-M-A space K-A-S-I.
18:02That is incorrect.
18:06Yeah, they're disappointed.
18:08It is spelt T-E-R-I-M-A K-A-S-I-H.
18:14No point can be awarded. I apologise to you, Conchita.
18:17Dan, you ready for Aaron to spin the globe?
18:19Do it.
18:20Let's take a trip around the world.
18:33What did you get?
18:34I got Indonesia.
18:38Anywhere specifically?
18:40Unfortunately, Bali.
18:42This is just getting silly.
18:45Now, sometimes when you're on holiday, you want a taste of home.
18:48Thankfully, amidst Bali's incredible local food scene,
18:51they have the homesick traveller covered
18:53with the Australian culinary delights
18:55found at the very real restaurant, Aussie Barbecue and Bar.
18:59Aussie Barbecue and Bar.
19:01And your word is Aussie Barbecue and Bar.
19:08A-U-S-S-I-E
19:11B-B-Q
19:14A-N-D
19:16B-A-R
19:17That is correct.
19:20Well done.
19:23Alright, three in a row in the same place in the world.
19:25What are the chances of that?
19:26What are the chances of that?
19:27This is the whole world we're talking about.
19:30We're going to move on down the line now.
19:32Tom, you ready for Aaron to spin the globe?
19:34OK.
19:41Whoa.
19:42It's not Bali this time.
19:44Whoa.
19:45Where did you get?
19:46I got Italy.
19:47Oh!
19:49Italy!
19:50The Bali of the North.
19:54Home to such famous dishes as pizza, gelato and bolognese,
19:59which interestingly sounds very similar
20:01to the Italian word for Balinese.
20:04Bolognese!
20:06Your word is Bolognese.
20:10Really?
20:12100%.
20:15I just feel like you're kind of riffing off
20:17the very rich culture of Italy there.
20:19I don't mean to disrespect any Italians,
20:21except for the ones who haven't been there yet.
20:27Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
20:29That's contrary.
20:30Oh, no!
20:31Bolognese!
20:33B-A-L-I-N-E-S-E.
20:36That is correct!
20:40What a beautiful and illuminating journey around the world.
20:44That's the last time we buy our spinning globe
20:46from suburban Queensland.
20:48Thank you very much to our resident travel vlogger Aaron Chen.
20:53Aaron, where do you think your travels will take you next?
20:56I'm going to go backstage to get changed
20:58into the next ridiculous and zany outfit
21:00that you forced me to wear.
21:02Live and life one adventure at a time.
21:05Thank you, Aaron, and thank you, Tom,
21:08who's giving this episode some stakes
21:10by being the person to beat so far!
21:14For this next round, I'm going to need the boys and girls
21:17to separate and lean against the walls
21:19while staring at the ground,
21:21because we're about to have a dance!
21:28Dancing, a celebrated tradition in many cultures.
21:31Some would argue that the most enjoyable aspect of dance
21:34is letting go and letting the music take control,
21:37but they would be wrong.
21:39The most enjoyable part is spelling the name of the dance,
21:43which will be demonstrated by some special guest dancers
21:46dancing to music provided by our DJ Aaron Chen!
21:50CHEERING
21:56Sorry, guys, I've never heard of Aaron Chen.
22:00My name is DJ Chernobyl.
22:04DJ Chernobyl.
22:07Atomic Beats.
22:15Are you sure you're not Aaron?
22:17My real identity is a true secret,
22:21just like Daft Punk, who once famously said,
22:24around the world, around the world, around the world.
22:28All right, here's how the round works.
22:30Starting with Tom, you will each watch a special guest dancer
22:34or dancers perform a dance routine right here in the studio.
22:38After the routine, you'll be asked to spell the name of the dance.
22:42Guess the name and spell it correctly,
22:44and I'll award you a whopping two points.
22:46If you have no idea of the name of the dance,
22:49I'll provide you with the dancer's name.
22:51However, the correct spelling will only be worth one point,
22:54and you'll be forced to spell it while doing that very dance.
22:59Tom, does it all make sense?
23:01You're up first, but before you spell,
23:03please welcome to the stage our first dancers, Nick and Stephanie!
23:08CHEERING
23:11Your dance will begin when DJ Chernobyl spins his track.
23:16LAUGHTER
23:18MUSIC PLAYS
23:29MUSIC CONTINUES
23:43CHEERING
23:47Let them hear it!
23:53Tom, have you got any idea what we just watched?
23:56LAUGHTER
23:58I can't express to you how watching that,
24:00spelling was the last thing on my mind.
24:03Can I get a country and origin
24:05and the marital status of one of the dancers?
24:08LAUGHTER
24:12Tom, have you got even a ballpark idea in your head
24:15of what that dance was?
24:16Was it the cha-cha?
24:18I'm not going to tell you. Oh, you're going to tell me that?
24:20No, no, no. You can either ask me and I'll tell you,
24:24and then you will perform the dance while spelling.
24:26See, that's the bit that I don't like.
24:28Or you can make an educated guess. Yes.
24:31If you get it wrong, nada.
24:33But you don't have to dance if you get it wrong?
24:35That's right. No-one's going to ask you.
24:38We'll find out. Guy, what was that dance?
24:41LAUGHTER
24:43CHEERING
24:48You're either going to hate or love hearing this.
24:50It was the cha-cha-cha.
24:52LAUGHTER
24:56APPLAUSE
25:02But that's what I said!
25:04Why wouldn't you just say, yes, Tom, well done?
25:07I think what we're all excited for
25:10is the long walk from the podium to the dance floor.
25:13CHEERING
25:19It's just going to be so deeply uncomfortable.
25:24Oh, yes, OK.
25:28Oh!
25:32C-H-A, C-H-A, C-H-A!
25:35CHEERING
25:43That is...
25:47That is correct! Well done, Tom!
25:50And thanks one more time to Nick and Stephanie!
25:55And let's keep that crack going for our next dancers.
25:58It's Shay and Daria!
26:00CHEERING
26:05OK, Dan, you've experienced social anxiety.
26:09How are you feeling?
26:11It's just recently skyrocketed.
26:14What happened?
26:17This...situation.
26:20Should be a good round, then.
26:22OK, well, I'm sure you hope you know the name of this dance.
26:25DJ Chernobyl, play the next track.
26:28I've got to say, this show is awesome
26:30because it gives professional dancers
26:32an opportunity to dance to royalty-free music.
26:35LAUGHTER
26:38Hit it!
26:40MUSIC PLAYS
26:46MUSIC CONTINUES
27:02Oh!
27:04CHEERING
27:06Matt and Ed, everyone!
27:12Do you have any idea what that dance might be?
27:14I'm not going to tell you.
27:16I'm going to say it's Tango. You want to know for sure?
27:19I'm definitely wrong, but I've come to terms with it.
27:22It's like the Boost Juice flavour, Mango Tango.
27:26LAUGHTER
27:28It's the second part of that order.
27:30Well, if you're confident, spell it.
27:32Tango. T-A-N-G-O.
27:35And what were you guys dancing?
27:37The Paso Doble.
27:39Oh, I'm so sorry, Dan.
27:41No points can be awarded for that,
27:43but you've got yourself a dance, I will say.
27:45And how about we hear it one more time for Shea and Dahlia
27:48with the Paso Doble!
27:52And now, don't you reconsider,
27:54here's Jose and Rebecca!
27:57CHEERING
28:04Hit it!
28:06MUSIC PLAYS
28:14MUSIC CONTINUES
28:39CHEERING
28:44LAUGHTER
28:47Oh, my God!
28:49You guys killed that.
28:51Oh, my God. I've got no idea what that was.
28:55So I am going to have to ask you what that is.
28:58It is Capoeira.
29:00Whoa!
29:01So, Conchita, please take the floor.
29:04CHEERING
29:07CHEERING
29:12Hard to notice you're wearing different shoes from them.
29:15Do you think I can do it with them?
29:17It's up to you. OK.
29:19Yeah, happy to. Yeah? Yeah.
29:21All right. Like this?
29:23Yeah, cool. And then we switch sides.
29:26Oh, I'm being coached. Is that allowed? Yeah.
29:28Oh, great. But you still have to spell the word.
29:30Oh, yeah, yeah. C-A-P...
29:33Duck.
29:34O-I-E...
29:37Duck again.
29:38R-A...
29:40Can I do it to you? Yeah.
29:42CHEERING
29:55You can return to your podium. Give it up for Conchita!
29:58CHEERING
30:01Oh, my God.
30:03And that is...
30:05..incorrect.
30:07I'm so sorry.
30:08Capoeira is spelled C-A-P-O-E-I-R-A.
30:13You got some of the vowels the wrong way.
30:15And I did notice as you were dancing,
30:17it's written literally on the front of it.
30:19LAUGHTER
30:21How about one more time for Jose and Rebecca!
30:24CHEERING
30:26And welcome to Dance For Reece, it's Pepsi!
30:29CHEERING
30:32OK, DJ Chernobyl, spin another track.
30:36Um, this dance, there's actually no music.
30:39Do you still want me to pretend to press play?
30:42Please pretend to press play and we'll see what Pepsi's dance is.
30:46DUM-DUM-BA-FUN!
30:48Hup!
30:50Hup!
30:54A-hey! A-hey, a-hey, a-hey!
31:02Hup!
31:04A-hey!
31:06CHEERING
31:13I'd like to lock in the nutbush.
31:15LAUGHTER
31:19No.
31:21Um, oh, I don't...
31:23No, I'm not going to ask you because we don't need any more...
31:26We need to see that.
31:28LAUGHTER
31:30No, we don't.
31:31We don't need to prove it any more tonight
31:33that gay people have no rhythm.
31:35Um... Hey!
31:37LAUGHTER
31:39I'm not doing that dance.
31:40I feel like it would...
31:41I don't need that footage haunting me for the rest of my life.
31:45I reckon it is...
31:48Oh, no.
31:52I mean, I'm just going to have to do it, aren't I?
31:55CHEERING
32:09But I'm going to do it my style.
32:13I didn't think you were going to do it that well.
32:17Can I know what it is?
32:19About to dance and spell simultaneously,
32:22please welcome Rhys Nicholson with...
32:25The Gumboot Dance.
32:27LAUGHTER
32:29CHEERING
32:39And for a chance to score his first point...
32:43CHEERING
32:51T-H-E-G-U-M-B-O
32:58O-T-D-A-N-C-E?
33:04CHEERING
33:10That is correct!
33:14Everybody, give it up for Patsy!
33:19Well, what a round of Do The D-A-N-C-E it was.
33:24And please, one final round of applause for our mystery DJ!
33:28CHEERING
33:33And now that we've got all the ants out of our pants,
33:36let's see what that's done to our scoreboard.
33:38Rhys is on the board with one, Conchita on two,
33:40Dan on three and out in front still with five,
33:42it's Tom Bello!
33:44CHEERING
33:46And with all of this clapping going around,
33:49I'd also like to acknowledge our studio audience.
33:52You have done a great job of laughing along
33:54and enjoying yourselves so far,
33:56despite the fact that none of this is even about you.
33:58That was Until Now.
34:04The audience.
34:06A comedy spelling show would be nothing without them.
34:08That's because they provide me with constant validation
34:10throughout the show,
34:12and they make lonely people watching at home
34:14feel like there are lots of people in their house.
34:16So I think it's time we invited them
34:18to be a proper part of the show.
34:20This round works exactly like you think.
34:22Our contestants will each get the opportunity
34:24to spell the name of one audience member
34:26of their own choosing.
34:28You must spell their first name
34:30and their last name,
34:32unless, of course, they only have one name.
34:34But that's unlikely, as week after week,
34:36Rhianna does not respond to my invitations
34:38to come and watch the show.
34:40Aaron, are you ready to go out and find some audience members
34:42on behalf of our spellers?
34:44You bet, Guy. These guys look pretty revved up.
34:46Must have been a pretty good DJ on before.
34:52Well, Rhys,
34:54you are currently withering away in last place
34:56on your single point.
34:58Is there anyone you like the look of to spell?
35:00I reckon the guy
35:02wearing the blue jacket
35:04who looks like he is
35:06an Elvis impersonator.
35:08He knew exactly which one you were talking about.
35:10Please welcome him to the stage!
35:16APPLAUSE
35:22How was the walk for you, big guy?
35:24LAUGHTER
35:26Oh, fantastic. Everyone's doing great.
35:28LAUGHTER
35:30I like your vibe, man.
35:32LAUGHTER
35:34Rhys, is there anything you'd like to know?
35:36Um, how do you earn a crust?
35:38I work in insurance.
35:40What's your name?
35:42LAUGHTER
35:44My name is Mark.
35:46Mark. And what is your surname?
35:48Bostock. Oof.
35:50Mark Bostock. Yes.
35:52Bostock? Yes.
35:54That middlesome S.
35:56LAUGHTER
35:58I reckon the C or the K
36:00is going to screw me up,
36:02but I'm going to go with a C.
36:04I was about to say, you look like a seaman.
36:06LAUGHTER
36:08Sorry, before you get to the whatever you're doing...
36:10LAUGHTER
36:12Can I just get the letters sequentially?
36:14LAUGHTER
36:16Oh, God, you and your f***ing rules, man!
36:18LAUGHTER
36:20The letters always have to be in order, man!
36:22LAUGHTER
36:24Spelling is a concept, man.
36:26Mark's got a seat in a life
36:28to get back to.
36:30In insurance.
36:32LAUGHTER
36:34Actually, I need to talk to you.
36:36Um...
36:38M-A-R-C-B-O...
36:40B-O...
36:42S.
36:44LAUGHTER
36:46S.
36:48LAUGHTER
36:50I regret the second S.
36:52I take back the second S.
36:54LAUGHTER
36:56Um, D-O-C-K.
36:58LAUGHTER
37:00Well, check, Mark!
37:02Is that how you spell your name?
37:04That's not how I spell my name.
37:06How do you spell your name?
37:08Anybody with M-A-R-C,
37:10they're right, it's M-A-R-K.
37:12Yeah, and Bostock?
37:14B-O-S-T-O-C-K.
37:16Whoa!
37:18One of the most straightforward names I've ever heard!
37:20Give it up for Mark Bostock!
37:22APPLAUSE
37:24Conchita, you are currently in third place,
37:26and so you can choose next.
37:28Which of our audience members would you like to spell?
37:30OK, I'm vibing with this girlie
37:32in the front row
37:34who's peacocking
37:36over us.
37:38Just to confirm, you're talking about this girlie, Pop?
37:40LAUGHTER
37:42That's it, my man. Let's go.
37:44Well done to the stage!
37:46APPLAUSE
37:48You want to get to know each other?
37:50Yeah. Hi!
37:52How are you? I'm pretty good.
37:54Um, what's your love language?
37:56Ooh, um, words of affirmation?
37:58Oh, my God, same!
38:00What's your name? My name is Taylor Howard.
38:02F*** yeah.
38:04LAUGHTER
38:06OK, I'm just going to go simple.
38:08T-A-Y-L-O-R.
38:12And what's your last name again? Howard.
38:14Howard. Hmm.
38:16H-O-W-A-R-D.
38:18Incorrect.
38:20LAUGHTER
38:22APPLAUSE
38:24No, no, no, no.
38:26Wait, can I just...
38:28How do you spell your name?
38:30T-A-Y-L-A.
38:32Oh!
38:34Well, in spite of what these guys say,
38:36I'd like everyone to give it up for Taylor Howard!
38:38APPLAUSE
38:42I can't catch a break!
38:46OK, OK. Wow.
38:48What a betrayal.
38:50OK, Dan, how are you feeling?
38:52I'm feeling like I'm pumped up.
38:54LAUGHTER
38:58But also I'm also scanning the audience
39:00and looking for a kind of someone that looks,
39:02you know, quite regular.
39:04LAUGHTER
39:06Dan, who would you like?
39:08I'd like to pick the gentleman who's wearing a hat at night-time.
39:10LAUGHTER
39:12This fellow here? Yeah, yeah.
39:14All right, please welcome to the stage
39:16the gentleman wearing a hat at night-time!
39:18APPLAUSE
39:20Oh, yeah.
39:22Dan, you want to get to know this guy?
39:24Yeah, sorry for picking you out,
39:26cos I know that I wouldn't want that to happen to me.
39:28But you were wearing a hat at night-time.
39:30Yeah.
39:32And that's my target demographic.
39:34Yeah.
39:36People with Sicardian rhythms are all mixed up.
39:38Do you take melatonin?
39:40Oh, yeah, yeah, two. Two per night.
39:42Whoa! It still works.
39:44Oh, it works. Knocks you out.
39:46You guys sure you don't know each other?
39:48LAUGHTER
39:50I have been doing ads for a sleep apnea company.
39:52LAUGHTER
39:54The slogan is sleep apnea. It can happen to you.
39:56LAUGHTER
40:00Um, so what is your name?
40:02My name's Harrison.
40:04Last name is Talik,
40:06and it means long forehead.
40:08LAUGHTER
40:10This is a friendship
40:12waiting to happen.
40:14LAUGHTER
40:16These guys are on the wave, man.
40:18LAUGHTER
40:20OK, H-A-R-R-I-S-O-N.
40:22Mm.
40:24Talik, I'm going to go T-A-L-L-I-C-K.
40:28Oh!
40:30LAUGHTER
40:32So...
40:34So off, eh? You're wrong, but you're right.
40:36What? Yeah.
40:38In the 1700s,
40:40that's how we spelt it.
40:42LAUGHTER
40:44APPLAUSE
40:46OK.
40:48LAUGHTER
40:50Keep talking!
40:52LAUGHTER
40:54But then when we came from Scotland to the UK,
40:56it got changed to T-A-L-L-A-C-K.
41:00So, I mean, it's up to you whether you give him points or not.
41:02LAUGHTER
41:04What's on your passport?
41:06T-A-L-L-A-C-K.
41:08Sorry, bro.
41:10Give it up for Harrison Talik!
41:12APPLAUSE
41:16OK, Tom, who do you want?
41:18I love you all equally,
41:20but I think I'd like to talk to this delightful woman
41:22down the front with the awesome glasses, if I may.
41:24Down here, Aaron.
41:26Hello. Yes, ma'am.
41:28Yeah, you! Oh, me? Hello!
41:30APPLAUSE
41:32All the way to the stage!
41:34APPLAUSE
41:36Hello. Hi.
41:38LAUGHTER
41:40Oh, yes!
41:42OK.
41:44You've just kind of taken away any of my function.
41:46LAUGHTER
41:48Hello.
41:50What do you do for a living?
41:52I'm a speech pathologist.
41:54Whoa!
41:56LAUGHTER
41:58APPLAUSE
42:02A little late!
42:04LAUGHTER
42:06What's your name? Jane Wills.
42:08Hell no!
42:10LAUGHTER
42:12J-A-N-E-W-I-L-L-S.
42:14Correct.
42:16Give it up for Jane Wills!
42:18APPLAUSE
42:20How could
42:22you possibly finish a show
42:24so overloaded with excitement
42:26and informative segments?
42:28The only way we know how.
42:30MUSIC
42:34It is the buzz round, a round so titillating,
42:36so diabolical,
42:38so damn important in the scheme
42:40of the show, we have to save it for the end.
42:42In this round, I will read
42:44from a list of pre-prepared words
42:46that are all loosely tethered to a central theme.
42:48All of the words are eligible for spelling
42:50and if you think you know how to spell one of them,
42:52buzz on in. Once you've used
42:54your buzzer, you'll then have to use your brain
42:56and mouth simultaneously to spell the word.
42:58Get it right, you'll be given a point.
43:00Get it wrong, you'll have a point removed
43:02from your tally. And some of these tallies
43:04are not armed to stand up to that kind
43:06of thing. And because Rhys is already
43:08knocking on the dance door, I'm going to give them
43:10the opportunity to choose the theme of the round.
43:12Would you like Olympics,
43:14Cars, Biblical Times,
43:16or Office?
43:18Um, let's go with
43:20Biblical Stuff.
43:22Biblical Times?
43:24Yeah. Let's get into it.
43:26Gethsemane.
43:28Tom. G-E-T-H
43:30S-E-M-A-N-E.
43:32Correct.
43:34Three.
43:36Conchita. G-R-E-E-D.
43:38Correct. Envy.
43:40Go ahead, Dan.
43:42E-N-V-Y. Correct.
43:44Commandments. Tom.
43:46C-O-M-M-A-N-D-E-N-T.
43:50Incorrect.
43:52Adam. Conchita.
43:54A-D-A-M. Correct. Eve.
43:56Conchita. E-V-E. Correct.
43:58Steve. Tom.
44:00S-T-E-V-E. Correct.
44:02Ark, as in boat. Conchita.
44:04A-R-K.
44:06Correct.
44:08Ark, as in storyline. Tom.
44:10A-R-C. Correct.
44:12Thy neighbour's ox.
44:14Go ahead, Tom.
44:16T-H-Y-N-E-I-G-H-B-O-U-R-S-O-X.
44:22Correct. Job. Conchita.
44:24What did you say? Job.
44:26J-O-B-E.
44:28Incorrect. What? Jesus Christ.
44:30Conchita.
44:32J-E-S-U-S-C-H-R-I-S-T.
44:34Correct.
44:36Superstar. Go ahead, Tom.
44:38S-U-P-E-R-S-T-A-R.
44:40Correct.
44:42Andrew Lloyd Webber.
44:44Go ahead, Dan.
44:46A-N-D-I-E-W-L-L-O-Y-D-W-E-B-E-R.
44:52Incorrect.
44:54There's two Bs. Pause the game.
44:56Rhys. It's working.
44:58LAUGHTER
45:02Genesis.
45:04Go ahead, Conchita.
45:06G-E-N-E-S-I-S.
45:08Correct.
45:10Phil Collins.
45:12Go ahead, Tom.
45:14P-H-I-L-C-O-L-L-I-N-S.
45:16Correct. In The Air Tonight.
45:18Go ahead, Conchita.
45:20I-N-T-H-E-A-I-R-T-O-N-I-G-H-T.
45:26Correct. Paul's Letter to the Corinthians.
45:30You may spell Paul's Letter to the Corinthians, Conchita.
45:34LAUGHTER
45:36P-A-U-L-S-L-E-T-T-E-R-T-O-T-H-E-C-O-R-I-N-T-H-I-A-N-S.
45:54Correct.
45:56APPLAUSE
45:58But we also heard the man, we must stop spelling.
46:00Even in your head, you must stop spelling.
46:02We'll only now deal in whole words.
46:04And the words I'd like to say are congratulations, Tom Bellard,
46:08you've done it again.
46:10APPLAUSE
46:12Please accept your passage to next week's episode.
46:16APPLAUSE
46:18Oh, God.
46:20APPLAUSE
46:23And how about we keep that round of applause on the boil
46:26for DJ, travel agent and audience wrangler extraordinaire, Aaron Chen!
46:31APPLAUSE
46:34It is important amongst all of this revelry
46:38to remember that someone has done very poorly tonight.
46:43I feel it's only appropriate and fair that we formally acknowledge that
46:47by watching them slowly walk to the Dunces' Corner
46:50to wear the Dunces' hat.
46:52LAUGHTER
46:54APPLAUSE
47:01I feel like the outfit kind of works with it.
47:03LAUGHTER
47:05And that's all she wrote for another episode of Guy Montgomery's
47:08Guy on Spelling Bee.
47:10Please can we hear it one more time for all of our spellers,
47:12Rhys Nicholson, Santina Caruso, Dan Rendon, Tom Bellard.
47:16Join us next time as Tom spells against Greg Larson,
47:19Joy Kuzma and Tony Armstrong.
47:21For now, you might as well call me nearby Montgomery
47:24cos I'm going to take a walk in a neighbourhood near you.
47:26Goodnight!
47:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Recommended
47:58
|
Up next
50:01
42:26
52:01
49:18
45:35
50:29
49:23
28:54
28:30