- 7/12/2025
#ShowFilm98
#Resident Alien
#Resident Alien
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on Resident Alien
00:12Harry needs us to get rid of that mantid alien body
00:16That's the mantid off our to-do list
00:19You sure this is the spot Mike saw the mantid?
00:21Don't play dumb
00:22We found your tiny hidden camera
00:24Ben?
00:25The cookie girls
00:25What cookie girls?
00:26The aliens, the ones who took our baby
00:28Someone has to watch the diner while you play the music festival
00:32Are you doing the bank drop for the bar?
00:34Can you do mine too?
00:35There's two grand in here and I need to deposit it so I can do payroll tomorrow
00:38Ask this money
00:39Being human sucks
00:40Heather and my bird babies, they're gone
00:42I still want a family
00:44You have family
00:45Here's to being friends
00:47Harry?
00:53Who the hell are you?
00:58Where is Asta?
01:08You, known on Earth as Harry van der Spiegel
01:12Stand before the Galactic Housing Council
01:15The supreme cosmic authority in the universe
01:19This assembly is called to order
01:22The Housing Council
01:23A galactic body so powerful they can transport you to their chambers mid-pie
01:27You have been summoned because the grey aliens have brought charges against you
01:32They've sent a legal representative to argue their case
01:36Happy to be here, Gary
01:37Good to see you, Cedric, how are you?
01:39Wait a second, you two are friends?
01:40Gary, I do not think that that is fair
01:42Silence!
01:43You cannot call me Gary
01:45Only my in-laws can call me Gary
01:48One jolt for insolence
01:49Jolt?
01:51The hell is it?
01:51Oh, son of a bitch
01:58Cursing will also not be tolerated
02:00No
02:00Son of a...
02:04Lady
02:06Who is not nice
02:10Really just misunderstood
02:12You stand accused of the following
02:14Refusing to leave Earth
02:16Sabotaging the Grey's Yellowstone operation
02:19Kidnapping a human infant
02:21Harboring a grey stowaway known as Bruce
02:23And worst of all
02:24Unleashing a manted alien into the universe
02:27Allegedly
02:31If found guilty
02:32You will be sent to Morea
02:34Not Morea
02:37It is a slow, agonizing death
02:39And a noxious acid pit
02:41One thousand times more acidic
02:42Than the warmest cola drink
02:44Impossible to escape
02:45Like one of those diseased ball pits
02:47At Rat Cheese Pizza
02:48Oh, I almost forgot
02:50I, uh, picked up a little something
02:52From Sharon
02:53Oh
02:54Wow, that's really good
02:56That's nice
02:58Really good on my dad
02:59That's really good
02:59I knew I was like so powerful
03:01Is this some bullshit?
03:04Three jules!
03:07Harry?
03:16Harry?
03:20Harry?
03:23Harry, are you here?
03:25Bridget?
03:26Have you seen Harry?
03:28I don't speak whatever that is
03:30Um
03:30Harry's gone
03:32He, he, he disappeared
03:33Like, out of thin air
03:35What?
03:36More cereal?
03:37Don't you have four hands?
03:39Can't get your own cereal?
03:40Okay
03:41Yes, sure
03:47No problem
03:48Good?
03:50Uh-huh
03:51Okay, take it
03:56I don't get it
03:58The money's gotta be here somewhere
04:00Shit
04:02Shit
04:02Asta
04:04Probably looking for the money
04:06Judy, come on
04:08You're supposed to be helping me find it
04:10You lost it when we were really drunk
04:12So I thought I'd get really drunk again to find it
04:14Will you please help me look for it?
04:18Fine
04:18Jeez
04:19I don't know how about it
04:22Sorry Asta, I'm gonna have to silence you
04:25Hey, maybe you took the diner and the bar money to the bank and just forgot
04:31Jude, you're a genius
04:33Yeah, like sometimes I'll go to the grocery store really drunk and forget I even went
04:38And then I open the fridge and I'm like, how'd that did chicken get in there?
04:41Damn it
04:4259 money's still there
04:45And for some reason this bra
04:46Oh, me
04:47That's mine
04:49Obviously, I didn't go to the bank
04:51What did we do?
04:54Oh, remember I took those sexy-ass selfies of us?
05:05Jesus
05:05Ooh
05:08How much did we drink?
05:10I don't know
05:10But this morning I peed for so long that I had to sit down
05:14Wait, look at this one
05:16There's somebody with us
05:17Do you recognize those boots?
05:18No
05:19I like them though
05:20They're like the sturdy kind that makes my foot look normal
05:24Asta's probably freaking out
05:25I'm gonna tell her I deposited the money but the bank made a mistake
05:28Banks make mistakes all the time, right?
05:30Totally
05:30That's why I keep all my money in jars under my mattress
05:33Could explain your back problems
05:35Oh
05:37Regarding count four
05:39By stealing a baby
05:41The defendant took property essential to SHP
05:45My client's soul harvesting program
05:49What is a soul?
05:50I heard it talked about on earth
05:52Does it have something to do with sexy time music?
05:54A soul is an immaterial consciousness with quantum correlation that gains it eternal life
06:00Souls transcend the physical realm
06:02Humans are the only beings in the universe that have them
06:04My clients harvest the souls of human infants because of their purity
06:09Untouched by life's experiences
06:11So they can live forever
06:13In a way
06:14The greys have a proprietary process that converts them into an effective wrinkle reduction cream
06:20But the greys do not even have wrinkles
06:22Exactly
06:22It sells itself
06:24Oh it also doubles as a savory dip-in sauce
06:26I love dims
06:27Savory dip-in sauce
06:28Have you not heard of ranch?
06:30We are willing to drop the kidnapping charge
06:33If you tell us where you've hidden the baby
06:36Baby yes
06:37It's right where you wouldn't think
06:40Up your butt with the coconut
06:42It's Omaha, Nebraska
06:49The Ute reservation just passed highway 1
06:53If you hit the 7-11 you've gone too far
06:57I need my alien energy
07:01You mean this?
07:04There it is
07:04My alien energy
07:06I thought it would be purple
07:08The greys failed to apply for the proper permits before taking it
07:12So we confiscated it on your behalf
07:14Oh give it to me
07:15Not until you answer for your most grievous offense
07:19When you release the mantid
07:23It stole the greyship which was tracked to earth
07:26Where it has commenced its breeding process
07:29Soon the mantids will take over the entire planet
07:33Destroying the greys only sauce of human souls
07:37And the only way to stop it is to kill it
07:39Look
07:40I mean
07:42If you want a dead mantid
07:46I can get you a dead mantid
07:49I mean I'll have to track it
07:52I'm going to track it and I'm going to kill it
07:54And then I will bring you the mantid
07:57Right back here
07:58Because it is already dead
08:00And I know where it is buried
08:02The housing council will give me my energy back
08:09When I deliver the already dead mantid
08:11Us humans call that a win-win
08:13I can't believe the greys harvest souls
08:15I think you humans care too much about souls
08:18What are they good for?
08:20Other than making wrinkle cream
08:22Okay well you're human now too
08:24And there's way more than that
08:26My dad says that the soul is like a thread
08:29Woven into everything around us
08:31When someone dies
08:33They become part of the land
08:35Sky
08:36Everything
08:36But if the thread's cut
08:38It's like tearing a hole in the world
08:41Destroying the balance
08:42Like when I pulled that loose thread on my sweater
08:46And the sleeve came off
08:48Because your sweater is exactly as important
08:51As the fabric of the universe
08:52I miss that sweater
08:55I planted trail cams in the woods
09:00To try and find the mantid
09:01During the hypnosis
09:05I saw our baby alive on a spaceship
09:07I hear Russell
09:07And I saw that mantid with my own eye
09:09That implant they put in me
09:10I mean who knows how long it was there for
09:12I lost time
09:13I have an image of an alien
09:15She was there
09:15Darcy was on that ship
09:17Hot damn it
09:18That there is one proper evidence board
09:20I might need to make one of these
09:22To track down whoever's swiping
09:23All the fuchsia posters from the supply room
09:25Oh we have a bunch of fuchsia posters at the house
09:28If you need some
09:28Really?
09:32So we have two aliens out there
09:34Joseph and that mantid
09:37Actually there might be a third
09:39Oh great
09:41Let's just close the patient's tourism bureau now
09:43You mean the trunk of your car
09:44With those outdated pamphlets
09:45Well I just got new ones
09:46And these ones fold correctly
09:48Last year when Peter Bach came to town
09:52He said he was here because of an alien
09:54But he never said who
09:57But Peter Bach is dead now
09:59So we'll never know
10:00Peter Bach is alive
10:03What?
10:04Oh my god
10:05And he can see aliens
10:07Wait if he can see aliens
10:09And aliens took our baby
10:10Then maybe he can help us find her
10:12You have to get in touch with him
10:13Sorry for my safety
10:14I have no way of contacting him
10:16I have to wait for him to contact me
10:18His rules
10:18Okay
10:20Well that's something
10:22Yeah
10:22Gives me a bit of hope
10:24Boss is not here
10:36I told Jay to tell her I was looking for her when she gets back
10:38This should buy us some time
10:40Okay
10:40Well I've been researching like crazy
10:43Did some googling
10:44The boot in the picture is a Trailblazer XT 1420 lace-up
10:48The company was founded in 1985
10:50But they discontinued this model in 2019
10:54Then I did some serious digging
10:56Did some more googling
10:57Only three stores in Colorado sold it
10:59The closest is in Boulder
11:01So we drive there
11:02You use your points to get us a quaint but tasteful room
11:06At a fancy hotel
11:07Like with a fireplace and fuzzy robes
11:09We go to the store
11:11Glad to see you two are okay
11:13Hold on Miss Blackboots
11:15I'm searching for some black boots
11:16So you're the one with the boots
11:21You saw us last night
11:22Yeah
11:23Y'all were out of your minds
11:25What?
11:27We were just having fun
11:28Did we even drink last night?
11:30I don't know
11:30I was so wasted I blacked out
11:32We had a few
11:33Yeah
11:34Well you said you had a bag of money
11:36And that you wanted me to meet you
11:38In that town from Shawshank Redemption
11:40See what may I hope
11:41But instead you went to the clinic
11:43To party with Ellen
11:44Because Judy needed birth control
11:45Except she called them baby candies
11:47Ellen
11:48June let's go
11:49Oh
11:51You have to leave the mug
11:59Ow
12:03Ow
12:05Ow
12:07I'll be back for my refill
12:09Nurse
12:12Wait up
12:13Ice nuts
12:13Now that the mantid's gone
12:15I'm sitting on a stockpile of manticide
12:17Easy
12:18Just get rid of the M
12:19And tell people it kills ants
12:20I'm just glad that the mantid is dead and buried forever
12:23Wait
12:25Did you say buried?
12:27I don't think you can bury a mantid
12:29Praying mantises should their exoskeleton to grow
12:33If mantids are anything like them
12:36Burying them in moisture rich soil
12:38Will trigger an advanced form of molting
12:40And help them regenerate
12:41The mantid might still be alive
12:45Where the hell is it?
12:49This does not feel like the best time to say
12:51It could be anywhere
12:52The mantid is still alive?
13:00Yes
13:00Do not worry
13:02It is not the end of the world
13:03Why did it refill the hole?
13:05That's so that nobody would know it was still alive
13:08That sounds like the end of the world
13:11What now?
13:14I mean to find the mantid and kill it
13:16Okay
13:17Well
13:18At least the greys don't know where the baby is
13:20Right?
13:20Yeah
13:21That's super
13:22Lucky
13:23Harry
13:26Do the greys know where the baby is?
13:30Someone may have accidentally told them where it is hidden
13:32Someone?
13:33You?
13:35Well let's not play who said what
13:37It was you
13:37You said what?
13:39How could you do that?
13:41We have to go to the res
13:42No, no
13:43We cannot go there
13:43We need to find the mantid and kill it
13:46The baby is the priority
13:48I do not understand why humans ignore big problems
13:52And obsess over trivial ones
13:54How is a tiny insignificant baby more important than a brave warrior
13:58Slaying a deadly mantid enemy?
14:00Stay
14:00Ladies
14:09Welcome to my office
14:11You mean Asta's office
14:12Asta's playing waitress for the last couple of days
14:14So I promoted myself
14:16Suck it corporate ladder
14:17Corporate ladder's a bitch
14:19I finally made head crossing guard after they saw what I was worth
14:23And after what that fire truck did to Mrs. Collins
14:26Uh, yeah, congrats on the fake promotion, Ellen
14:30But we're trying to piece together last night
14:32We lost something
14:33I gave the birth control to Judy
14:35You took the whole packet
14:36Said you wanted to be extra safe
14:38And then you ditched your jacket in that guy's truck
14:40What guy was that?
14:41The long haul trucker who gave us a joyride
14:43I got a pic of his truck when he drove away
14:45You two were flashing him
14:46Trying to get him to honk his horn
14:48Jesus
14:53Okay
14:54Good
14:55Aw, you got my good boob
14:59Yeah
15:03Uh-huh
15:04Yeah, we can have her by there in about an hour
15:06All right
15:08Got her a safe spot off the res
15:10We'll just get her packed
15:11Thank you, Kayla
15:12I'm so sorry I had to pull you out of the powwow
15:14Oh, don't worry about it
15:15They didn't call fancy dancers yet
15:16At the end time
15:18Babies are small
15:19All they need is a protein bar, a blanket, and some leaves to wipe up their droppings
15:23It's funny
15:24Now that I know you're an alien
15:25Everything you say just sounds so much more obvious
15:27Since you're such a baby expert
15:30Here you go
15:31Why don't you take her so we can finish packing
15:33Thank you
15:34This baby is pissed about something
15:41Well, you know, you could give it a protein bar or wipe its ass with leaves
15:44Okay, just to be clear, don't do that
15:46That was sarcasm
15:47Um, take her to Graham to get changed and then just keep her company
15:51I do not want to keep her company
15:52She always beats me at that letter tile game
15:54No, the baby, not Graham
15:56Just take her for a walk
15:58Okay, this is us
15:59This is us
16:00It's okay
16:01Do you think maybe we're being a little premature
16:12Turning the guest room into a nursery already?
16:15I mean, it's been so long since I felt any sense of hope
16:18Knowing there's someone out there who can see aliens
16:21Gives me at least a little
16:22Just let me have it, okay?
16:27Yeah, yeah, of course
16:29Remember these?
16:37Well, yeah
16:38Oh, my God
16:48Max said that this was Dr. Vanderspiegel
16:50I know
16:51And he drew them at the same time that Liv said Peter Bach was looking for an alien
16:55Patience
16:56I don't need to stop
17:13Good, is there an off button?
17:16Or a pause?
17:18I should be the one crying
17:19I must find and kill a deadly mantid
17:21Joseph had all his powers
17:23And the mantid still turned his face into a jigsaw puzzle
17:26Is it the drums?
17:29Do you like the drums?
17:33Did anybody else see that?
17:36This baby just smiled at me
17:38I am suddenly feeling a strong connection to this baby
17:41I have felt this before with Bridget
17:43But not with the human baby
17:44This must be the reason humans do not eat their young
17:48I'm here
17:50What is this feeling?
18:14The energy in here feels alive
18:17Are you reaching for the music?
18:36Is that what you're reaching for?
18:44Your little one feels it, doesn't she?
18:46She is less pissed
18:48Even happy
18:49That is the power of the jingle dress dance
18:54Each step of these women's dance is a healing prayer
18:58Their prayers are in their shoes
19:01Oh, the sound of the jingles
19:04Is like hundreds of tiny prayers
19:08Reminding us that we're all part of something bigger
19:12Bigger
19:13I think I'm feeling big feelings
19:18If you're thinking
19:21You're not feeling
19:23Now, come on
19:24How do you feel?
19:29Feel like you keep hitting me
19:30But I also feel like
19:32I'm connected
19:36To everything
19:40It's like Wi-Fi
19:42Nanama
19:44Your Wi-Fi network is named Nanama
19:47My Wi-Fi network is named Nacho Wi-Fi
19:50Nanama means together
19:57We are all connected to all things through the creator
20:02Close your eyes and listen
20:07Nanama is the great mystery that connects all things
20:14It's how the river knows where to flow
20:18It's how trees talk to one another underground
20:22Or how a rest dog magically appears
20:27Every time you open a bag of chips
20:31How do you feel?
20:34I feel like I found something I need
20:41Then you are listening real good
20:45Hey guys, what's going on?
20:56We would like to report a crime
20:59Okay
21:00Tell me what happened
21:02Did I hear you say you wanted to report a crime?
21:05I'm not sure if you're aware or not
21:08But crime is my middle name
21:10Actually, it's Eugene
21:12Someone stole money from me
21:14How much?
21:15A couple thousand
21:15Been saving up my tips
21:18That's a lot of cash
21:19Well, I'm a great bartender
21:21Yeah
21:21So, when did this crime happen?
21:24Oh, that's on a need-to-know basis
21:26We need to know
21:27Last night
21:28Yes, we were out on our way
21:30To
21:31The town from Shawshank Redemption
21:36Correct
21:36Yes, exactly
21:37It's very popular this time of year
21:39Yeah, it's a seasonal
21:40It's their Christmas
21:41Destination
21:41Christmas destination
21:42I got a better question
21:43This person who stole your money
21:45What did it look like?
21:46Oh, he was a trucker
21:47He had a trucker face
21:49Yeah
21:49Right here
21:50Trucker, trucker, trucker, trucker
21:51Truckery
21:52And we were in his, you know, his big rig
21:53In big rig
21:54And I left my jacket in there
21:55She left your jacket
21:55And it was in the pocket
21:56Just in the pocket
21:57So
21:57And Ellen told us that we gave him Darcy's phone number, right?
22:02But he has not called us about the money
22:03No one
22:04So
22:04Clearly, he stole it
22:07Ellen told you that you gave him the number
22:10Yeah
22:11Yes, officer
22:12But you were there
22:13We have a photo
22:16Photo
22:16Of his truck
22:18That has a partial license plate
22:20So you can run it
22:21Run the plate
22:22So let me see if I got this straight
22:25You two got shit-faced
22:26Have no memory tonight
22:27Decided to retrace your steps
22:29Along the way, you found out you flirted with a trucker
22:31Left two grand in his cab
22:32And your only lead is a blurry half photo of a license plate
22:35So you came in here hoping Deputy Liv would pull some strings
22:38And run the plate
22:38Technically filing a false police report
22:40Which, fun fact
22:41Is a felony under Title 18
22:44Section 1001
22:46Of the U.S. Code
22:47I had the same thought
22:51Sorry, Darcy, but
22:54The guy's long gone
22:55You're never gonna see him again
22:57Well, that's the last time I show some random trucker my good boob
23:01Oh, cheesy
23:03Oh, yeah, I'm not sure
23:10Oh, there's Harry, let's go
23:34I take back what I said about you standing out
23:41Like a duck in water
23:43I do not understand the duck part
23:47But I belong here
23:50I think I understand what you meant about the thread
23:54Because I am connected to this baby
23:57And we are connected to everyone
23:59Everything
24:02I am with you on that
24:04I wish we could stay and watch
24:06But we have to go
24:07Hmm?
24:08You don't
24:08Oh, we should stop
24:10And get some leaves on the way
24:13No
24:13Stinky
24:14Stinky
24:14Stinky
24:43I mean, it has to mean something.
24:47Do you think it's possible
24:48that the alien has been hairy all along?
24:51Is it possible?
24:53I mean, you've met him.
24:55Hey, what's up?
24:58Where did you get those?
24:59We found them in your room.
25:01Max, buddy,
25:02why did you say this was Dr. Van Der Spiegel?
25:04How should I know?
25:06It was, like, forever ago.
25:07I was, like, two years old.
25:09Just because you drew like you were two
25:10doesn't mean you were two at the time.
25:11Hon?
25:12Yeah.
25:12I was probably going through an alien phase.
25:15You've been going through your stinky candle phase
25:17for years now, okay?
25:18Look, honey,
25:20I need you to be honest.
25:23You may not realize it,
25:24but the truth here means a lot.
25:27Your dad and I trust you, okay?
25:29And this is...
25:30This is one of those moments
25:31when that trust really matters.
25:33I don't care what you said before, okay?
25:36We love you, no matter what.
25:38Just tell us the truth right now.
25:39Is Harry Van Der Spiegel
25:42an alien?
25:47Why did you call that guy Harry?
25:48Because he's Harry.
25:49No, he's not.
25:50He's just a guy.
25:54No, Harry's not an alien.
25:58Okay.
26:01Thank you for being honest.
26:02You should read my candle reviews on Etsy.
26:07You're four and a half stars.
26:10I used to see Mr. and Mrs. Mayer's baby
26:13as a small problem
26:14compared to getting my powers
26:15and defeating the mantid.
26:17But after this powwow,
26:18something in me has shifted.
26:20I can feel how Asta experiences the world.
26:23Sometimes small things
26:24are not as small as you would think.
26:26Okay.
26:27One problem down,
26:28a couple big ones to go.
26:29You have to find that mantid.
26:31Do not worry about that.
26:32I have a solution.
26:34Oh, good.
26:34What is it?
26:36I have no idea
26:37how to get my alien powers back
26:39or defeat and kill the mantid,
26:41but the energy of the jingle dancers
26:42made me feel somehow
26:43things will be okay.
26:46I will tell you tomorrow
26:47after we've had some rest.
26:50Okay.
26:52Hello?
26:53Yes, this is Asta.
26:56Wait.
26:56I'm sorry.
26:58What do you mean
26:59the money wasn't deposited?
27:00Well, my favorite
27:03people are broken
27:05Believe me
27:09I heart the most
27:13You look lost.
27:22Hi, Liv.
27:23I'm fine.
27:27Did Peter Bach
27:28reach out to you?
27:31No.
27:32Not yet.
27:33Sorry.
27:35You know,
27:35I always admire you.
27:37It feels like
27:38no matter how bad things get,
27:39you manage to stay positive.
27:42Like you're still able
27:43to have hope
27:43that things will get better.
27:45I always try.
27:47Mm-hmm.
27:47Yeah.
27:49Wish I had some of that.
27:50My baby is
27:55is gone
27:57and
27:58every day
28:00that goes by
28:01I feel further
28:02and further
28:03away from her.
28:09I think
28:10I know how to help.
28:15Hey!
28:16Where have you been?
28:17I've been trying
28:18to reach you all day.
28:18Yeah, hey, um,
28:20I put you on silent.
28:22Not you.
28:23Specifically,
28:23everybody.
28:24It's been a crazy day.
28:26Oh, okay.
28:27Well, the bank called
28:27and they said
28:28they never got that money.
28:29Huh.
28:30That's weird
28:31because I dropped it off
28:32last night.
28:33I left here,
28:35got the money
28:36from the 59
28:36and went to the bank.
28:38Dropped it off
28:38in the overnight slot
28:40thing.
28:43Okay.
28:43Okay, good.
28:45Wow, I guess
28:48it's just a bank error.
28:49Yeah.
28:50Bank error
28:50happens all the time.
28:52Totally.
28:52Yeah.
28:53Oh, God.
28:54Listen to this.
28:57It has been
28:57insane here.
28:59Harry got summoned
28:59by the housing council.
29:01He promised them
29:02a debt.
29:03Banted.
29:04Only went to dig it up.
29:05It wasn't
29:06there.
29:07It just disappeared.
29:10We are lost.
29:11I don't know.
29:12I'm sorry.
29:14I gotta run.
29:16Uh,
29:16okay,
29:18uh,
29:19well,
29:19I'll catch up
29:20with you later.
29:27Even though
29:28I feel everything
29:29will be okay,
29:29in case it is not
29:30and Maria
29:31is my final destination,
29:33I am labeling
29:33my belongings
29:34so that those
29:35who have touched
29:35my life
29:36will have something
29:37to remember me by.
29:38Asta would like this
29:39since she gave it to me.
29:41And it's just like new
29:42because I never used it.
29:46You are
29:47welcome.
29:54Hello,
29:54person who does not knock.
29:56What are you doing here
29:57without Asta?
29:58We're not always together.
29:59Yes, you are.
30:00You even have one
30:00of those four-legged bicycles.
30:02It's called a tandem bike.
30:04The beast.
30:05You know?
30:06I can remember
30:09when we got at
30:10this flea market.
30:11Asta acted like
30:12we had found gold.
30:14I said it was
30:14a death trap,
30:15but she was so excited
30:16until we bought it
30:17and fixed it up
30:18over the weekend.
30:19And then
30:19when we got on it,
30:20we just
30:21immediately fell.
30:23We fell again
30:24and again and again.
30:25And then
30:26something clicked.
30:28We
30:28found our balance
30:30and we just
30:31we were like
30:33this team,
30:34you know?
30:35We were unshakable.
30:36We were just this
30:36this force
30:43and
30:43now I don't
30:48I don't know.
30:52Next time
30:52just say
30:53we bought a bike.
30:54I see
30:58this is why
30:58I came to you.
31:01Not sentimental.
31:04It's like
31:05talking to a plant.
31:06Oh.
31:08Look.
31:08There's an actual plant.
31:10Just what you
31:11were looking for.
31:13Goodbye.
31:15I'm barely
31:16holding on.
31:21I'm
31:21I'm scared
31:24of where
31:25my mind's going
31:26and I'm
31:27really scared
31:30of what I might do
31:31if I'm alone.
31:34You did not
31:35come here
31:36to talk about
31:36bicycles
31:38or plants.
31:41Asta
31:42gave me some
31:43money to deposit
31:45and I got drunk
31:46and I lost it
31:47and then
31:47I lied
31:48to my best friend
31:50and she
31:51actually
31:52believe me.
31:54So the lie
31:55did its job.
31:56Yeah but
31:57she's supposed
32:00to know me
32:01better than anyone
32:03and if she
32:05just believes
32:06the lie
32:07it's like
32:08she can't
32:10it's like
32:12she can't
32:13see me
32:13like the real
32:15me.
32:17If I could
32:17see the real
32:18you
32:19what color
32:20hair
32:20would you
32:21have?
32:24Brown.
32:29Asta's
32:29trusting
32:30she's a
32:31trusting
32:31person
32:32she trusted
32:32you.
32:33Yeah but Asta
32:34used to see
32:34through my
32:35bullshit
32:35every time
32:36and now
32:37she just
32:37believes me?
32:39I mean
32:39it's like
32:40she knows
32:44I'm a liar.
32:45Well I told
32:46Asta that I
32:46had a solution
32:47for the mantid
32:48I do not
32:48I am a liar
32:49also
32:50up top
32:51deceiver.
32:51But you
32:52don't care
32:52if she
32:53believes you
32:53I do.
32:55If she
32:56can't tell
32:56that I'm
32:57lying
32:57then
32:58who am
33:00I?
33:01Do I even
33:02exist?
33:03Should I?
33:04What do you
33:05mean should
33:05you exist?
33:06You
33:06you already
33:08do exist.
33:13Oh.
33:15Yeah.
33:18Oh.
33:20Let's
33:21call
33:22Asta on the phone.
33:23So she
33:24can say
33:24everything's
33:25okay
33:25even though
33:26she knows
33:26it's not?
33:27Asta
33:28won't admit
33:29but she
33:32and a
33:32whole lot
33:33of other
33:33people
33:34would be
33:35better off
33:36if I
33:36wasn't in
33:37their lives.
33:38I don't
33:39need somebody
33:39to lie
33:40to me
33:40I just
33:40I need
33:42somebody
33:42to answer
33:42the question.
33:43What is
33:44the question?
33:46I don't
33:47feel good
33:47about my
33:47life.
33:51Why should
33:51I keep
33:52going?
33:52If you
33:59would have
33:59asked me
33:59this question
33:59when I
34:00first came
34:00to Earth
34:01I would
34:01answer
34:01differently.
34:03I wanted
34:04all humans
34:05to die
34:06even you
34:07but I've
34:08changed.
34:10I see
34:11the value
34:11of human
34:12life
34:13even yours.
34:17What's
34:17the value?
34:20Every dream
34:21I ever had
34:22is dead.
34:25Sometimes
34:26at night
34:26I just
34:27I just
34:31walk around
34:31for hours
34:32and I
34:32look up
34:33at the sky
34:34and I
34:34just
34:34feel
34:35so
34:36small
34:38so
34:42worthless.
34:43If you
34:44were worthless
34:45Mr. and
34:46Mrs. Mayor
34:47would not
34:47have their
34:48baby.
34:49You are
34:49not small.
34:51You are
34:52part
34:53of that
34:55sky
34:56that you
34:56were looking
34:57up at.
34:58Me too.
34:59This old
35:00woman
35:01that I
35:03met
35:03she was
35:05violent.
35:06She hit me.
35:07But she also
35:07taught me about
35:08something called
35:09nonima.
35:12It is how
35:13we are all
35:14connected.
35:14I am in you.
35:18Ew.
35:18Ew.
35:19And you
35:20are in me.
35:22Gross.
35:23And if you
35:24were not here
35:24the world
35:25would be
35:25incomplete.
35:27What happened
35:28to you?
35:30Did you grow
35:31a soul
35:32or something?
35:33My species
35:33do not have
35:34souls.
35:35But you
35:35just told me
35:36the old lady
35:37and she
35:38said
35:39we're all
35:40connected.
35:41Did you feel
35:41connected?
35:42Yes.
35:43That's your
35:44soul dumbass.
35:45You obviously
35:46grew one.
35:47That's why
35:47you felt
35:48connected.
35:49Get the
35:49hell out
35:49of here.
35:50I will not.
35:51I'm really
35:55a human.
35:57Yeah.
35:58Welcome
35:58aboard.
36:00It is
36:01really hard.
36:04Maybe it
36:05is not.
36:06Maybe the
36:06problem is
36:07humans make
36:08it hard
36:08when it's
36:08really easy.
36:09here it is.
36:26It's a tree.
36:27No.
36:28It's the
36:28fairy tree.
36:30Yeah.
36:31Okay.
36:33You didn't
36:33really expect
36:33me to believe
36:34that fairies
36:34are real.
36:35Did you
36:36ever think
36:36you would
36:36believe aliens
36:37were real?
36:39Well, you
36:40got me
36:41there.
36:42My aunt
36:43Kathy brought
36:44me here
36:45when I was
36:45little.
36:46She said
36:47this is where
36:47the fairies
36:48live and
36:49that I
36:50should leave
36:50a mint
36:50for them.
36:51So now
36:53whenever I
36:55feel lost
36:56I come here
36:57to remind
36:58myself the
36:59world is
36:59full of
37:00magic and
37:01hope.
37:02I think
37:06the day
37:06I believe
37:06the world
37:07is magic
37:07is the
37:08day
37:09that I'm
37:10standing in
37:11my house
37:12with my
37:13baby in
37:14my arms.
37:15I'm so
37:16sorry you're
37:17going through
37:17this.
37:19I can't
37:20imagine how
37:20terrible you
37:21feel.
37:23I think it
37:24was really
37:24sweet of you
37:25to bring me
37:25here.
37:28Did you
37:29want to
37:29leave a mint
37:30for them?
37:31Oh.
37:32You can
37:32do it.
37:33I just
37:34left one a
37:34couple of
37:35days ago
37:35and now
37:36it's gone.
37:37Maybe the
37:37squirrels.
37:40Still feels
37:40good though.
37:44Sometimes
37:45when you
37:46feel helpless
37:46like there's
37:47nothing you
37:48can do
37:48at least
37:50you're doing
37:50something.
37:55Okay?
37:59Yeah.
37:59Yeah.
38:00I do not see
38:19the dead
38:19mantid with
38:20you.
38:21Prepare the
38:22shuttle for
38:22morale.
38:23No, wait.
38:24I have come
38:24with a new
38:26offer.
38:26You are in no
38:27position to
38:28negotiate.
38:30Well, if
38:30you return
38:31my alien
38:31energy, I
38:32will kill
38:33the mantid
38:34and bring
38:34it to you
38:35here, ridding
38:36the galaxy
38:37of this
38:37dangerous threat.
38:38And if I
38:39do not,
38:41the greys
38:41can have
38:42me.
38:44My clients
38:45prefer assets
38:46with actual
38:46value.
38:47And isn't
38:48this exactly
38:49what you
38:49offered before?
38:51Yes, but
38:51things have
38:52changed.
38:53The greys
38:53wanted me to
38:54kill the
38:54mantid so
38:55they could
38:55keep stealing
38:56baby souls.
38:57Disgusting.
38:59But what if
38:59I told you
38:59there is
39:00another being
39:00that can
39:01grow a
39:02soul?
39:03Impossible.
39:05Not even
39:05humans can
39:06grow a soul
39:07from nothing.
39:08Not impossible.
39:10I am
39:10living proof.
39:11I am that
39:12being that
39:13grew a
39:13human soul
39:14right here.
39:16Let the
39:17record show
39:17the defendant
39:17is pointing
39:18to his
39:18penis.
39:19My penis?
39:20No, no,
39:21not even
39:21the penis
39:22is down
39:22here.
39:23I mean,
39:23sometimes
39:24it's over
39:24here,
39:25sometimes
39:25it's over
39:25here.
39:26when I'm
39:27jogging,
39:27it's like,
39:28I mean,
39:28you don't
39:29even know
39:30where.
39:30But, uh,
39:32I'm pointing
39:32to my
39:33heart.
39:33Let the
39:34record show
39:34the human
39:34penis is
39:35in the
39:35heart.
39:40If I
39:40fail to
39:41kill the
39:41mantid,
39:42the greys
39:43can have
39:43me and
39:45my soul.
39:46But only
39:47if they
39:48agree to
39:48give up
39:49Mr. and
39:49Mrs.
39:50Mayer's
39:50baby now
39:51and forever.
39:51having the
39:53ability to
39:54grow their
39:54own souls
39:55instead of
39:56transporting
39:56them from
39:57earth would
39:57be greatly
39:58beneficial to
39:59the greys.
40:00Baby shipping
40:00costs have
40:01gone through
40:01the roof.
40:02But how
40:03do we know
40:03you actually
40:04grew this
40:05soul you're
40:06referring to?
40:07He would
40:07not have
40:08made such
40:09a selfless
40:10offer
40:10otherwise.
40:12If the
40:12defendant is
40:13offering himself
40:14as collateral,
40:16we agree to
40:17relinquish all
40:18claims to the
40:19human baby in
40:20question.
40:20then this
40:22council accepts
40:23your offer
40:24and will
40:25grant your
40:26energy to
40:27an executor
40:28who will
40:29provide it to
40:30you at their
40:30discretion.
40:31An
40:32executor?
40:34The ultimate
40:35prize for
40:36enduring all
40:36the challenges
40:37on earth has
40:38been something
40:38beyond any
40:39possession.
40:40A human
40:41soul.
40:45Hey,
40:45Jake,
40:46this money
40:47dropout
40:47I'm a little
40:47belong to
40:48the diner.
40:48Looks like
40:48one to
40:49dance.
40:50Yeah.
40:52Where'd you
40:53find this?
40:54Mail carrier
40:54dropped it
40:55off at
40:55the station.
40:56Guessing it's
40:57about $2,000
40:58in there.
40:58He said
40:59somebody dropped
41:00it in the
41:00mailbox next
41:01to the
41:01bank.
41:04Can't imagine
41:05who would've
41:05done that.
41:08There's the
41:09bank.
41:10There's the
41:11dropbox.
41:13Eat this
41:13money bank.
41:14knock.
41:14Knock.
41:14Knock.
41:15Knock.
41:15Knock.
41:15Knock.
41:17I know we
41:19don't deserve it.
41:20I love that
41:21feed.
41:22But we
41:23need it
41:24anyhow.
41:31We hang
41:32in the
41:33balance.
41:35Dangle
41:35between
41:36hell and
41:37hallowed ground.
41:38But perhaps the
41:39best part of being
41:40human is no
41:40matter how
41:41difficult life
41:41gets, we
41:42always have
41:43hope.
42:02Ben, is that
42:03you?
42:11honey?
42:39Is that
42:40Is that her?
42:56Unfortunately, sometimes all of your hope sits in a single jar
43:00and is handed to the last person in the galaxy
43:02you would want to have control over it.
43:10Daddy?
43:40Bill?
43:41Bill?
43:43Bill?
43:44Bill?
43:48Bill?
Recommended
43:35
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