- 7/2/2025
The Love Goofy is a journey through the absurd world of love and breakups that only Tryf Da Comedian could guide you through. Tryf exposes goofy love with raw and unapologetic humor. It's a hilarious hour of laughs and original music.
#comedy #standupcomedy #standup
#comedy #standupcomedy #standup
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00All the way from Chicago, give it up for Trey!
00:00:30No, stop it. You shouldn't have. Stop it. No, no, no. You shouldn't have. Give it up, y'all. Give it up. Shit, man. It'll feel good to be out the house, huh? Y'all happy to be out the house? Goddamn. Shit.
00:00:45No, your pet's tired of you. Your dog like, bitch, why is you still here? Leave, bitch. Goddamn. I can't bite shit. I can't do shit. Bitch, when you gonna leave? What the fuck? The cat looking at me like, bitch, you ain't left yet. Don't you got something to do?
00:00:58Damn. I go to the grocery store. Anybody go to the grocery store? I know where everything is in my grocery store. I be cussing out the employees. Like, nigga, what the fuck you doing? Nigga, you know damn where them ruffles don't be right there. Nigga, put the ruffles by the Doritos. Get the fuck out the way!
00:01:13I'm in a grocery store, don't much a motherfucker. The people asking me for the record. And, nigga, you know where the blue cheese is? Yeah, it's right there. They go to Lyle 4 to 5. Why you over there? Give me some cookies, nigga. Why you?
00:01:26It's crazy. When this COVID shit is fucked up, nigga, this most fucked up thing is a cough is the most powerful thing in the world right now. Gangbangers is doing drive-by coughs now. Fuck shootings.
00:01:37What's happening, nigga? God damn. Shit, women using that shit. Now, can I get your number? No, I'm good, baby. You straight. You good? No, no, no, no.
00:01:53Shit, I'm just happy to see some ladies, man. All these beautiful ladies making some noise. Fuck it. I'm keeping 100.
00:02:01If you ain't beautiful, you ain't a bitch. You have to be a bitch to be beautiful. If you gotta listen to everything a motherfucker gotta say to you all day, you wouldn't get through your day.
00:02:13Hi. No, thank you. I'm good. Yes. No. Okay. Mm-hmm. I can buy my own groceries. Thank you. Hi. Yes. Okay. No. I'm good. Thank you. Okay. I have a man. Okay.
00:02:28Hi. Hi. No, no. It's okay. It's all right. Yes. I can pump my own gas. Oh, thank you. I'm so sorry. I got a man to die.
00:02:40You bitch, you get tired of that shit. Like, what's going on? Nigga, I gotta go. Well, fuck you, bitch. Whatever.
00:02:47You're gone. For reals, all the beautiful bitches make some noise, if you know what I'm talking about.
00:02:50How many people have, like, on this COVID shit, drove, like, 80 miles to your favorite restaurant because you ain't giving a fuck to pick up?
00:03:03I think I want to get a burrito from Cultures. Nigga, Cultures, bitches, in Arizona. Well, we ain't got nothing to do. Let's just drive.
00:03:11You see white people, like, they go to, like, fucked up neighborhoods to order food. They be scared as fuck.
00:03:17They walk in, like, they walk in, like, hi, how are you? So, um, my friend brought me here, um, I wanted to get some fried chicken and, um, some color, oh, shit, uh, collard greens and, um, some, what is it?
00:03:40Uh, what was the bread? The, uh, corn? Yeah, the corn bread? Let me get that, too. And, uh, yeah, that's about it.
00:03:50They see one of their friends.
00:03:53John?
00:03:56Dave?
00:03:57What are you doing here? What are you doing here?
00:04:01This place is amazing.
00:04:04Yes, have you tried the catfish? What's that? What's a catfish?
00:04:08It's like a real cat, but fish?
00:04:11No, it's like a bottom feeder. It's so good. You gotta try it.
00:04:18I see a lot of interracial dating now.
00:04:20Not, like, black men dating white women.
00:04:25Black women dating white men.
00:04:28Ain't that the shit?
00:04:29I saw, I was, like, when I was, I heard this white dude talk about how he was fucking with his, with his black girl, you know?
00:04:38He was like, dude, dude, dude, you never believed this.
00:04:42Like, what's going on, man?
00:04:43Dude, I was with a black girl.
00:04:45Dude, are you fucking kidding me?
00:04:49What the fuck happened?
00:04:52Dude, so listen, bro.
00:04:53So, like, I'm, like, sitting there, bro.
00:04:56Like, you know, we were just, like, like, dude, fuck, you know?
00:05:02She were kissing me, dude.
00:05:03Like, her lips were so fucking big, bro.
00:05:05Like, the, the lip to, like, her lips, like, right here, bro.
00:05:09Like, all in my eyes and shit.
00:05:11I couldn't see shit, bro.
00:05:12So, I'm just trying to, like, fucking hold on, you know?
00:05:15Like, it's right here, bro.
00:05:17Like, I'm like, fuck, you know?
00:05:19So, like, I, you know, I'm touching.
00:05:20I'm like, dude, like, what the fuck, right?
00:05:23So, I'm kissing and, you know, she, she, I grabbed her ass and, you know, she grabbed
00:05:27my ass and she, she, like, pushed me closer, bro.
00:05:29I was like, what the fuck, you know?
00:05:31So, I just held on, you know?
00:05:32It's fucking what I'm going to do, bro.
00:05:33I don't know what the fuck to do.
00:05:34This is a big black girl, bro.
00:05:35She's fucking huge, you know?
00:05:37So, I'm sitting there, right?
00:05:38So, she gets naked, right?
00:05:40So, she, she pours her ass out.
00:05:42So, I'm like, oh, my fucking God, bro.
00:05:44Like, I'm sitting there, like, the ass to dick ratio is unbelievable, right?
00:05:47Like, you know?
00:05:48I'm like, right here.
00:05:49She's like, right there.
00:05:50She's like, are you ready for this pussy?
00:05:52I'm like, no, you know?
00:05:53I'm not really ready for it, you know?
00:05:56So, she's like, so, so what'd you do, bro?
00:06:00What'd you do?
00:06:00Did you fuck?
00:06:01What happened?
00:06:02What'd you do?
00:06:04I'm like, whoa, um, I ate her pussy and took her shopping.
00:06:09The fuck do you expect me to do, bro?
00:06:11I used my dad's credit card.
00:06:14I learned how to play this motherfucker.
00:06:18This is my little bitch right here.
00:06:21For real.
00:06:24You should learn how to play one of these.
00:06:28It gets you out of trouble.
00:06:29I keep this bitch in my car.
00:06:31I keep it in my car, for real.
00:06:33Like, this motherfucker's cool because the piano, you got to get to it.
00:06:37Shit like that.
00:06:38But this is right there.
00:06:41Like, you can, you got to learn how to play certain things.
00:06:43Like, if you get pulled over by the police and shit, you're doing like 150.
00:06:50Cop like, what the fuck?
00:06:52You're going to jail, motherfucker.
00:06:54You're doing 150 in a school zone.
00:06:56Officer, please understand that I know I was speeding.
00:07:05I'm a little high.
00:07:08I'm a little drunk.
00:07:11I'm trying to fuck this girl.
00:07:12But please understand, I'll never speed again.
00:07:17Like, I went to buy a car, right?
00:07:28I kept this motherfucker with me.
00:07:30He's like, what the fuck?
00:07:31You have no credit.
00:07:33You have 17 repos.
00:07:35Why are you trying to buy a Lamborghini, fucker?
00:07:37Listen, salesman.
00:07:44I have cancer.
00:07:46Just understand it.
00:07:47I just want to drive a Lamborghini for, before I die.
00:07:53I can't pay you nothing.
00:07:54But, just know that, I won't wreck it.
00:08:00I won't wreck it, I promise.
00:08:05Yep.
00:08:10Keep this motherfucker in the house, too.
00:08:12When you come home, and, uh, your woman then found out you at the club with another bitch.
00:08:22She's tripping.
00:08:24She's yelling at your motherfucking ass, and you got lipstick on a shirt.
00:08:29She's screaming.
00:08:30What the fuck, you raggedy motherfucker?
00:08:33You been in my, you raddest bitch.
00:08:37Baby, please, just calm down.
00:08:39I know I got lipstick on my shirt.
00:08:43Just know that, no matter what I was doing, I was thinking about you.
00:08:49I love you.
00:08:51I care about you.
00:08:53I just want you.
00:08:54I love you.
00:08:56I love you.
00:08:58I love you.
00:09:07So, what if she found out that you knew the bitch?
00:09:12And, uh, her friend sends pictures like, you kissing that bitch in the mouth?
00:09:18You don't need more than a guitar to deal with that shit.
00:09:22So, yes, I knew the bitch.
00:09:29Just know that, uh, no matter if I knew her, and we was there together, and I kissed her,
00:09:34I was thinking about you.
00:09:35I was thinking about you.
00:09:38I love you, baby.
00:09:40Baby, I need you.
00:09:43I want you.
00:09:44I don't want her.
00:09:45Baby, just know I love you.
00:09:49I love you.
00:09:50I love you.
00:09:51I love you.
00:09:52I love you.
00:09:54Woo.
00:09:54Bye-bye.
00:09:55I love you.
00:09:56So it get deeper.
00:09:58But if she found out that you've been fucking the bitch, and it's the bitch's birthday,
00:10:03and you was there to celebrate with the bitch, you're gonna need more than a fucking piano
00:10:07to deal with this.
00:10:08so listen yeah I've been knowing and we've been fucking for a while now and
00:10:18just know that even though I was out there I was thinking about you
00:10:22I love you please I need you I love you I want you
00:10:32you know women they gonna find out what's really the going on
00:10:38so it get more deeper come to find out you've been fucking her mama too
00:10:44and her mama was there with her and she told the bullshit you're gonna need more
00:10:50than a motherfucking guitar and a piano for this she needs some singers
00:10:54yes I know her mother and we've been fucking for a while now
00:11:03but just know that baby no matter who I know I've been thinking aren't you
00:11:08I love you I need you I love you baby listen to him sing baby
00:11:19I love you
00:11:25okay
00:11:26so now she can found out that you been fucking a mama but the mama pregnant
00:11:36oh shit she's mad than a motherfucker now you're gonna need more than all this
00:11:41shit you need a full-fetched band
00:11:43god damn it bitch I didn't even know what the fuck was going on
00:11:47understand that I was thinking about you
00:11:50I didn't know she was motherfucking pregnant
00:11:52she's 16 motherfucking years old
00:11:55I don't know she was fertile like that
00:11:58she knows that no matter what baby
00:12:00I was thinking about you
00:12:03you
00:12:04you
00:12:06that shit didn't work
00:12:11she followed up most shit
00:12:13not only her mama pregnant she pregnant too
00:12:15and she three months she can't get no abortion
00:12:18so now you need some strings and everything to deal with this shit
00:12:20come on
00:12:21oh shit
00:12:22she pregnant too
00:12:24I didn't even know she was pregnant
00:12:25how the fuck you knew that shit
00:12:27I didn't know none of this shit
00:12:29I just went to the motherfucking club to hang the fuck out
00:12:32I didn't know both of them was pregnant
00:12:34god damn baby
00:12:35there's no matter what
00:12:37I was
00:12:38I was
00:12:38thinking about you
00:12:40you
00:12:42you
00:12:44I was thinking about you
00:12:47you
00:12:49but you know women
00:12:53she know how to play this motherfucker too
00:12:55so she get back at your ass
00:13:00she get her guitar out
00:13:01nigga please
00:13:04I don't give a fuck about that shit
00:13:07just pack your shit
00:13:09get the fuck out my house
00:13:11you raggedy
00:13:12whole motherfucker
00:13:14you wasn't thinking about shit bitch
00:13:16fuck you and everything you stand for
00:13:19get the fuck out my house
00:13:22get out
00:13:23my house
00:13:25nigga
00:13:25get the fuck
00:13:26out my house
00:13:28now
00:13:29so we broke up
00:13:40we broke up
00:13:42we broke up
00:13:45we broke up
00:13:48we broke up
00:13:52about three months ago
00:13:54she put on Instagram
00:13:57that
00:13:58I was a slut
00:14:00and a fucking hoe
00:14:01the night we fought
00:14:02she said she didn't want me no more
00:14:06and that
00:14:08it was over
00:14:09and
00:14:10my raggedy ass
00:14:12had to go
00:14:13so I left
00:14:15real quick
00:14:17didn't get the chance
00:14:19to pack my shit
00:14:20cause this bitch
00:14:22was making fucking scenes
00:14:23so I left
00:14:24without grabbing my things
00:14:26time has passed by
00:14:29I'm not calling you to start no fucking fight
00:14:32it's something that I like to ask
00:14:35can I have my shit back
00:14:40can I have my stuff back
00:14:43can I have my shit back
00:14:46my shoes
00:14:47my cars
00:14:49my clothes
00:14:50bitch give me my shit
00:14:51what the fuck you plan on
00:14:53all these motherfucking cans
00:14:55bitch
00:14:55give me my shit
00:14:57god damn it
00:14:59you know what the fuck I'm talking about
00:15:01bitch
00:15:01give me my fucking shit
00:15:04give me hold on to those
00:15:05motherfucking times
00:15:06I ain't got no motherfucking clothes
00:15:08give me my shit
00:15:10my shit
00:15:13I gotta calm down
00:15:16I gotta calm down
00:15:19I gotta calm down
00:15:22please let me calm down
00:15:25gotta calm down
00:15:28about this situation
00:15:31don't wanna elevate
00:15:34this fucking situation
00:15:37listen
00:15:38cause if I start tripping
00:15:40and having
00:15:42a fucking fit
00:15:43this bitch will start tripping
00:15:46and
00:15:47she'll
00:15:48fuck up
00:15:49my shit
00:15:50so I just wait
00:15:51patiently
00:15:54continue to act nicely
00:15:57and
00:15:58hopefully
00:15:59she'll
00:15:59give me
00:15:59what I ask
00:16:00is my
00:16:01shit
00:16:03back
00:16:03can I have my shit
00:16:06back
00:16:07please
00:16:08can I have my shit
00:16:09back
00:16:10can I
00:16:11please
00:16:12god damn it
00:16:13bitch
00:16:14would you
00:16:14give me my
00:16:15shit
00:16:15god
00:16:17fucking
00:16:18damn
00:16:18I ain't got
00:16:19no drawers
00:16:20please
00:16:20give me my
00:16:21shit
00:16:22would you
00:16:23fucking
00:16:23plan all these
00:16:23motherfucking days
00:16:24god damn it
00:16:26bitch
00:16:26would you
00:16:26give me my
00:16:27shit
00:16:27what the fuck
00:16:29you playing
00:16:29you know what
00:16:30the fuck
00:16:30I'm coming
00:16:31about
00:16:31back
00:16:31with it
00:16:31give me
00:16:33my
00:16:33shit
00:16:33shit
00:16:37d
00:16:39can I
00:16:42have
00:16:42my
00:16:42stuff
00:16:43back
00:16:44please
00:16:44can you
00:16:45just give me
00:16:45my stuff
00:16:45back
00:16:46can I
00:16:48I don't want
00:16:49to fight
00:16:49please
00:16:50I just want
00:16:50my shit
00:16:50back
00:16:51please
00:16:51you just
00:16:51get my
00:16:51clothes
00:16:52you got
00:16:52my car
00:16:53parked in
00:16:53your fucking
00:16:54house
00:16:54I ain't got
00:16:55my car
00:16:55keys
00:16:55you got
00:16:56my kids
00:16:57clothes
00:16:57just give
00:16:58me my
00:16:58shit
00:16:58back
00:16:58please
00:16:59move on
00:17:00with your
00:17:00life
00:17:00please
00:17:01can I
00:17:02please
00:17:02get my
00:17:02stuff
00:17:02back
00:17:03please
00:17:03can I
00:17:03just
00:17:03my
00:17:03please
00:17:04can I
00:17:04why you
00:17:05play all
00:17:06these motherfucking
00:17:06games
00:17:06you got a new
00:17:07man
00:17:07you got a
00:17:07husband
00:17:08can I get
00:17:08my shit
00:17:09back
00:17:09please
00:17:09can I
00:17:10just
00:17:11can I
00:17:13can I
00:17:13can I
00:17:14can I
00:17:14can I
00:17:14can I
00:17:14get my
00:17:15stuff
00:17:15back
00:17:16come on
00:17:18stuff
00:17:18back
00:17:19come on
00:17:20stuff
00:17:21back
00:17:22you got
00:17:23some
00:17:23shit
00:17:23let me
00:17:23say
00:17:24come on
00:17:26let me
00:17:26hear you
00:17:27say
00:17:27stuff
00:17:28back
00:17:29give it
00:17:29back
00:17:29now
00:17:30come on
00:17:32stuff
00:17:33back
00:17:34come on
00:17:35come on
00:17:36can you
00:17:37give me
00:17:38my
00:17:38clothes
00:17:38can you
00:17:39can I
00:17:40get my
00:17:41shoes
00:17:41can I
00:17:42I need
00:17:43my
00:17:43car keys
00:17:44god damn it
00:17:45you got
00:17:46my warm
00:17:46clothes
00:17:47can I
00:17:47get my
00:17:48can I
00:17:49get my
00:17:49fucking
00:17:50door
00:17:50down
00:17:51can I
00:17:52get my
00:17:52wallet
00:17:53what the
00:17:53fuck
00:17:53can you
00:17:55please
00:17:55get my
00:17:56shit
00:17:56back
00:17:56oh
00:17:58shit
00:17:58nigga
00:18:01I ain't
00:18:02giving
00:18:03you
00:18:03shit
00:18:07back
00:18:08bitch
00:18:09give me
00:18:09my
00:18:09shit
00:18:10what the
00:18:10fuck
00:18:11what the
00:18:12fuck
00:18:12you
00:18:12put out
00:18:12these
00:18:12motherfucking
00:18:13games
00:18:13for
00:18:13you know
00:18:13god damn
00:18:14why
00:18:14I need
00:18:14all my
00:18:14motherfucking
00:18:15shit
00:18:15you got
00:18:15my
00:18:16grandma's
00:18:16ashes
00:18:17I can
00:18:17only see
00:18:18I can
00:18:18lie to
00:18:18her
00:18:19you got
00:18:19my
00:18:19kids
00:18:20wrong
00:18:20you got
00:18:21all my
00:18:21shit
00:18:22what the
00:18:22fuck
00:18:23is
00:18:23wrong
00:18:23with you
00:18:23please
00:18:24give me
00:18:24my
00:18:24shit
00:18:25back
00:18:25please
00:18:25you
00:18:26move
00:18:26going
00:18:26to
00:18:26like
00:18:26you
00:18:26got
00:18:26new
00:18:27baby
00:18:27and
00:18:27everything
00:18:27just
00:18:28give me
00:18:28my
00:18:28motherfucking
00:18:29shit
00:18:33please
00:18:37some of
00:18:39y'all
00:18:40some of
00:18:45y'all
00:18:46still got
00:18:46somebody's
00:18:46shit
00:18:47please
00:18:49get that
00:18:50person
00:18:50and shit
00:18:50back
00:18:50for real
00:18:51women
00:18:53ain't shit
00:18:53though
00:18:53they're a whole
00:18:54long nigga
00:18:54shit
00:18:54for years
00:18:55and if
00:18:57dude
00:18:57if you're
00:18:58a dude
00:18:58out there
00:18:58you got
00:18:59some girl
00:18:59shit
00:18:59you a
00:19:00fucked up
00:19:00person
00:19:01you a
00:19:02weak
00:19:02man
00:19:02give that
00:19:03girl
00:19:03her
00:19:03shit
00:19:03back
00:19:04holding
00:19:05on
00:19:05to
00:19:05her
00:19:05makeup
00:19:06and
00:19:06shit
00:19:06and
00:19:07her
00:19:07panties
00:19:08i
00:19:08bout
00:19:09the
00:19:09shit
00:19:09she
00:19:09ain't
00:19:10getting
00:19:10it
00:19:10back
00:19:10you
00:19:11weak
00:19:12fucker
00:19:12get a
00:19:13girl
00:19:13her
00:19:13shit
00:19:13back
00:19:14seriously
00:19:16niggas
00:19:17is really
00:19:17holding
00:19:17on to
00:19:18people
00:19:18i'll give
00:19:18her
00:19:18i bought
00:19:19these
00:19:19bitches
00:19:20niggas
00:19:21you see
00:19:22you
00:19:22what you
00:19:22gonna walk
00:19:23around
00:19:23with them
00:19:23niggas
00:19:23give her
00:19:24her
00:19:24shit
00:19:24back
00:19:25because women
00:19:27are emotional
00:19:28thinkers
00:19:28man
00:19:29for real
00:19:29they emotional
00:19:30like
00:19:30do y'all
00:19:31understand
00:19:32when you
00:19:32fuck
00:19:32with a
00:19:32woman
00:19:33she
00:19:34give
00:19:34you
00:19:34something
00:19:34that
00:19:34you
00:19:35can't
00:19:35take
00:19:35back
00:19:36her
00:19:36pussy
00:19:36you
00:19:38can't
00:19:38get
00:19:38the
00:19:39pussy
00:19:39back
00:19:39especially
00:19:39if she
00:19:40did
00:19:40something
00:19:40to you
00:19:40that
00:19:41she
00:19:41ain't
00:19:41never
00:19:41done
00:19:42to
00:19:42another
00:19:42nigga
00:19:42she
00:19:43mad
00:19:43than
00:19:43a
00:19:43motherfucker
00:19:44i can't
00:19:45believe
00:19:45i swallowed
00:19:46that
00:19:46raggedy
00:19:47motherfucker
00:19:47he ain't
00:19:50getting
00:19:50shit
00:19:50back
00:19:51women
00:19:52y'all
00:19:52scandalous
00:19:53as fuck
00:19:53women
00:19:54know how
00:19:54to take
00:19:55the
00:19:55right
00:19:55shit
00:19:56they
00:19:56just
00:19:56don't
00:19:56take
00:19:56a
00:19:57nigga
00:19:57personal
00:19:57shit
00:19:57they
00:19:57take
00:19:58shit
00:19:58you
00:19:58know
00:19:58this
00:19:59one
00:19:59girl
00:19:59took
00:20:00my
00:20:00driver's
00:20:01license
00:20:01and my
00:20:01social
00:20:02security
00:20:02card
00:20:02and gave
00:20:03me my
00:20:03wallet
00:20:04back
00:20:04here
00:20:06nigga
00:20:06i
00:20:07ain't
00:20:07know
00:20:07she
00:20:07took
00:20:08all
00:20:08that
00:20:08shit
00:20:08till
00:20:08i
00:20:08got
00:20:08pulled
00:20:09over
00:20:09i met
00:20:10the
00:20:10police
00:20:10said
00:20:10bitch
00:20:11you
00:20:11raggedy
00:20:11motherfucker
00:20:12where's
00:20:12my
00:20:12shit
00:20:12at
00:20:13i
00:20:13don't
00:20:13know
00:20:14yeah
00:20:17cause
00:20:18they
00:20:18do
00:20:18shit
00:20:19differently
00:20:19when
00:20:20they
00:20:20break
00:20:20up
00:20:20you
00:20:21know
00:20:21it's
00:20:22different
00:20:22when
00:20:22a
00:20:22woman
00:20:23break
00:20:23up
00:20:23with
00:20:23a
00:20:23man
00:20:23it's
00:20:23emotional
00:20:24they
00:20:25have
00:20:26like
00:20:26break
00:20:26up
00:20:26parties
00:20:27and
00:20:27shit
00:20:28you
00:20:28know
00:20:28gatherings
00:20:29and
00:20:31girl
00:20:31Tyrone
00:20:34was
00:20:34fucking
00:20:34this
00:20:35other
00:20:35bitch
00:20:35girl
00:20:36I'm
00:20:36coming
00:20:37over
00:20:37they
00:20:38get
00:20:39the
00:20:39wine
00:20:39they
00:20:39get
00:20:39the
00:20:40wait
00:20:40and
00:20:40tell
00:20:40movies
00:20:41and
00:20:41shit
00:20:41and
00:20:42all
00:20:42the
00:20:42movies
00:20:43and
00:20:43sing
00:20:43along
00:20:43with
00:20:44everyone
00:20:45found
00:20:46he
00:20:48loves
00:20:49some
00:20:49time
00:20:51oh
00:20:52fuck
00:20:52him
00:20:53fuck
00:21:00that
00:21:00shit
00:21:01niggas
00:21:03we
00:21:03don't
00:21:03men
00:21:03don't
00:21:03do
00:21:04that
00:21:04shit
00:21:04we
00:21:05don't
00:21:05do
00:21:05all
00:21:05that
00:21:05shit
00:21:05I
00:21:06wish
00:21:06I
00:21:06would
00:21:07call
00:21:07my
00:21:07boy
00:21:08talking
00:21:11about
00:21:12I'll
00:21:14call
00:21:14him
00:21:14what's
00:21:14up
00:21:14you
00:21:15should
00:21:17dump
00:21:17me
00:21:17shut
00:21:18the
00:21:18fuck
00:21:18up
00:21:18before
00:21:19I
00:21:19sock
00:21:19you
00:21:19in
00:21:19your
00:21:19goddamn
00:21:20eye
00:21:20crying
00:21:21like
00:21:22a
00:21:22bitch
00:21:22I'm
00:21:24on
00:21:24my
00:21:24way
00:21:24nigga
00:21:24and
00:21:26get
00:21:26some
00:21:26singles
00:21:26going
00:21:29to
00:21:29the
00:21:29club
00:21:29best
00:21:31way
00:21:32to
00:21:32get
00:21:32over
00:21:32some
00:21:32old
00:21:32pussy
00:21:33is
00:21:33some
00:21:33new
00:21:33pussy
00:21:34shit
00:21:36real
00:21:36talk
00:21:37women
00:21:37best
00:21:38way
00:21:39to
00:21:39get
00:21:39over
00:21:39some
00:21:39old
00:21:39dick
00:21:40is
00:21:41some
00:21:41new
00:21:41dick
00:21:42seriously
00:21:44say
00:21:45say
00:21:45new
00:21:45dick
00:21:45y'all
00:21:47ain't
00:21:47understanding
00:21:48quit
00:21:49having
00:21:49them
00:21:50parties
00:21:51and
00:21:52shit
00:21:52get
00:21:53some
00:21:53new
00:21:53dick
00:21:54that's
00:21:54the
00:21:54best
00:21:55way
00:21:55to
00:21:55get
00:21:55over
00:21:55a
00:21:56motherfucking
00:21:56man
00:21:57is
00:21:57some
00:21:57new
00:21:57dick
00:21:58fuck
00:21:59him
00:21:59at
00:22:00home
00:22:00crying
00:22:01over
00:22:01him
00:22:01and
00:22:01shit
00:22:02you know
00:22:03what I'm
00:22:03saying
00:22:03you emotional
00:22:04at
00:22:04home
00:22:04and
00:22:05your
00:22:05legs
00:22:05closed
00:22:06and
00:22:06you
00:22:06got
00:22:06that
00:22:06sexy
00:22:07ass
00:22:07dress
00:22:07you
00:22:07stole
00:22:08from
00:22:08Macy's
00:22:08and
00:22:08shit
00:22:09that
00:22:10sure
00:22:10you
00:22:10never
00:22:10wore
00:22:11and
00:22:12you
00:22:12at
00:22:12home
00:22:13emotional
00:22:13and
00:22:13shit
00:22:14get
00:22:14your
00:22:15girls
00:22:15out
00:22:15and
00:22:15get
00:22:16some
00:22:16new
00:22:16dick
00:22:41you
00:22:42found
00:22:43out
00:22:43that
00:22:44your
00:22:44ex
00:22:46boyfriend
00:22:46is
00:22:48kicking
00:22:49it
00:22:49with
00:22:49his
00:22:50new
00:22:52girlfriend
00:22:52and
00:22:53now
00:22:54you're
00:22:54all
00:22:54sad
00:22:55and
00:22:55all
00:22:56alone
00:22:57girl
00:22:58just
00:22:58go
00:22:58to
00:22:59the
00:22:59club
00:22:59with
00:22:59something
00:23:00sexy
00:23:00on
00:23:00and
00:23:01it
00:23:01won't
00:23:01take
00:23:02you
00:23:02too
00:23:02long
00:23:03to
00:23:03get
00:23:03you
00:23:04some
00:23:04new
00:23:04dick
00:23:05oh
00:23:08get
00:23:09you
00:23:09some
00:23:10new
00:23:10dick
00:23:10yeah
00:23:12yeah
00:23:13yeah
00:23:14yeah
00:23:14yeah
00:23:14get you
00:23:15some
00:23:15new
00:23:16dick
00:23:16oh
00:23:17yeah
00:23:18girl
00:23:20get you
00:23:21some
00:23:21new
00:23:22dick
00:23:22listen
00:23:23to me
00:23:23like
00:23:23oh
00:23:24listen
00:23:25she
00:23:28don't
00:23:29know
00:23:29the
00:23:29niggas
00:23:30like
00:23:31you
00:23:31do
00:23:32and
00:23:33when
00:23:33she
00:23:33do
00:23:34she's
00:23:35gonna
00:23:35find
00:23:35her
00:23:35some
00:23:36new
00:23:36dick
00:23:36too
00:23:37yeah
00:23:37he's
00:23:39always
00:23:39broken
00:23:40always
00:23:41speaking
00:23:41yeah
00:23:42come on
00:23:43he don't
00:23:44have a
00:23:45job
00:23:45and he
00:23:46don't
00:23:47have
00:23:47good
00:23:48credit
00:23:48so
00:23:48get
00:23:49that
00:23:49new
00:23:49dick
00:23:50oh
00:23:52bang bang
00:23:53bang bang
00:23:53bang
00:23:53get that
00:23:54new
00:23:55dick
00:23:55yeah
00:23:56oh
00:23:57oh
00:23:58oh
00:23:59girl
00:23:59get that
00:24:00new
00:24:00dick
00:24:01oh
00:24:03cause
00:24:04when
00:24:05he
00:24:05see you
00:24:06out
00:24:06doing
00:24:07your
00:24:07thing
00:24:07he's
00:24:08gonna
00:24:08trip
00:24:09make a
00:24:09fucking
00:24:10sing
00:24:10tell him
00:24:11don't trip
00:24:11nigga
00:24:12do you
00:24:13just
00:24:14believe
00:24:14about
00:24:15doing
00:24:15me
00:24:15too
00:24:16you
00:24:16got
00:24:16you
00:24:17a
00:24:17new
00:24:17lady
00:24:17i got
00:24:18a
00:24:18new
00:24:18man
00:24:19some
00:24:19new
00:24:20dick
00:24:21oh
00:24:22hey
00:24:23hey
00:24:24yeah
00:24:25yeah
00:24:26yeah
00:24:27yeah
00:24:28hey
00:24:29yeah
00:24:30yeah
00:24:31yeah
00:24:32yeah
00:24:33yeah
00:24:34hey
00:24:34hey
00:24:35hey
00:24:35listen
00:24:36hey
00:24:37hey
00:24:38hey
00:24:39hey
00:24:40please don't
00:24:41be so mad
00:24:42listen
00:24:42if you go
00:24:44to the grocery
00:24:45store
00:24:45they got
00:24:47new
00:24:48if you go
00:24:50to the comedy
00:24:50club
00:24:51they got
00:24:52new
00:24:53dick
00:24:54if you go
00:24:55to the gym
00:24:56they got
00:24:58a
00:24:59dick
00:24:59if you go
00:25:01to the bank
00:25:01they got
00:25:03rich
00:25:04dick
00:25:05if you go
00:25:06to the
00:25:07ebt
00:25:07they got
00:25:09no
00:25:10dick
00:25:10but it still
00:25:12is
00:25:12unique
00:25:13oh
00:25:13yeah
00:25:14yeah
00:25:15sing it
00:25:16yeah
00:25:17new
00:25:18dick
00:25:18no
00:25:19dick
00:25:19no
00:25:19dick
00:25:20new
00:25:21dick
00:25:21no
00:25:22dick
00:25:22no
00:25:23dick
00:25:23new
00:25:24dick
00:25:24no
00:25:24dick
00:25:26new
00:25:26dick
00:25:27oh
00:25:27yeah
00:25:27no
00:25:30dick
00:25:30no
00:25:31dick
00:25:31no
00:25:32dick
00:25:32oh
00:25:33But New Dick will
00:25:38They think they don't love you, but
00:25:39But that New Dick will
00:25:41New Dick will
00:25:43They don't love you
00:25:45But
00:25:47New Dick will
00:25:51New Dick
00:25:54New Dick
00:25:56All the New Dick
00:25:58All the New Dick
00:26:00Stand up and you got New Dick
00:26:02Stand up and you got New Dick
00:26:05Woo! New Dick! New Dick! New Dick!
00:26:10New Dick! New Dick!
00:26:14Are we going to hell for that?
00:26:17We need to stop that. We're going to hell.
00:26:20We got the New Dick ghost.
00:26:22God, I did not approve of that.
00:26:25Damn.
00:26:26Don't do that.
00:26:28Hit it again. Fuck it.
00:26:33Yeah!
00:26:34Yeah!
00:26:35Yeah!
00:26:35Yeah!
00:26:36Yeah!
00:26:37Yeah!
00:26:37Yeah!
00:26:38Yeah!
00:26:38Yeah!
00:26:39New Dick!
00:26:40Woo! New Dick is a motherfucker, ain't he?
00:26:44Fuck around and get some good dick.
00:26:47That good dick, huh?
00:26:50That good dick, good pussy.
00:26:52Or that good sex.
00:26:56Woo! See, that's the difference.
00:26:57Y'all got it fucked up. See?
00:27:00You can have some good dick,
00:27:01but bad pussy.
00:27:04You can have some good pussy,
00:27:05but bad dick.
00:27:08But if you have good dick,
00:27:10and good pussy,
00:27:12that's good sex.
00:27:14That's that, oh my God, shit.
00:27:17That's that, woo!
00:27:18God damn it.
00:27:19That's when you fucking like rats.
00:27:21That's that quarantine pussy right there.
00:27:24That's when you're at that shit
00:27:25where you fucking all day.
00:27:27You don't know what day it is.
00:27:28You wake up like,
00:27:29God damn it.
00:27:30What the fuck?
00:27:31The mattress is in the corner.
00:27:34Your panties on the ceiling.
00:27:36The cat is scared.
00:27:38You know what I'm saying?
00:27:39It's hot than the fuck,
00:27:40but the air conditioning on 20.
00:27:42You stank, he done fucked your weave out.
00:27:45The back of your neck is sweating and shit.
00:27:47You don't know what the fuck going on.
00:27:49You're like, God damn.
00:27:50You don't know what,
00:27:51that's that good sex right there, boy.
00:27:53You know what I'm saying?
00:27:54That's that shit you,
00:27:54you ever had some pussy so good
00:27:56or some sex you can't swallow?
00:27:58You're like,
00:27:59ugh.
00:28:01Ugh, shit.
00:28:03Woo!
00:28:04See?
00:28:05See, white girls make that fucking noise.
00:28:06That's too loud.
00:28:07That's when you're at,
00:28:07oh, oh God, oh, oh God, oh, God, oh, God.
00:28:11Shut the fuck up.
00:28:12Shit.
00:28:13You know all that shit.
00:28:14You're making too much noise.
00:28:15If it's good,
00:28:16you ain't making no noise.
00:28:17You're trying to get yourself together.
00:28:19You know what I'm saying?
00:28:19You're like,
00:28:20I can't believe this nigga
00:28:21is fucking the shit out of me.
00:28:23I gotta do something.
00:28:25I gotta cook,
00:28:26buy him some bacon.
00:28:26What the fuck?
00:28:27Do I have anything in the fridge
00:28:28to cook this nigga?
00:28:29God damn,
00:28:30is he gonna stop?
00:28:31It's been 45 minutes.
00:28:33Shit.
00:28:34My eyes are bleeding.
00:28:35What the fuck is going on?
00:28:36You're in the back like,
00:28:40oh my God,
00:28:40this shit is,
00:28:41oh, Lord.
00:28:43Oh, shit.
00:28:44I'm gonna bury it.
00:28:44Is it Christmas?
00:28:46Is the mall open?
00:28:48I'm gonna buy my car.
00:28:49I gotta buy something.
00:29:00That's that shit,
00:29:01boy,
00:29:01when you fuck.
00:29:02Ladies,
00:29:03you know you insecure
00:29:04as soon as he pull up out of you.
00:29:06You're like,
00:29:07nigga,
00:29:07where you going?
00:29:08To the bathroom.
00:29:09Oh,
00:29:10okay,
00:29:10well,
00:29:10nigga,
00:29:10keep the door open.
00:29:12I'm giving this shit
00:29:13to nobody else.
00:29:19That's that shit right there.
00:29:22Y'all thinking about it right now.
00:29:23Like,
00:29:23damn,
00:29:24nigga ain't here.
00:29:26You ain't here.
00:29:26You're like,
00:29:26damn,
00:29:27I wonder what Keisha doing right now.
00:29:30I wonder what Brian is doing.
00:29:31I need to call that nigga shit.
00:29:33Oh,
00:29:34he ain't shit.
00:29:59I want y'all to clap your hands
00:30:00to this one.
00:30:02Oh.
00:30:05Clap your hands to this one.
00:30:08Yeah.
00:30:09Clap your hands.
00:30:12Motherfuckers,
00:30:12clap your hands.
00:30:14Oh.
00:30:15Clap your hands.
00:30:17Oh.
00:30:18Crystal,
00:30:18let me hear you.
00:30:19Clap your hands.
00:30:21Oh.
00:30:22Clap your hands.
00:30:24Just clap your hands.
00:30:26Get it for my love angels.
00:30:27Clap your hands.
00:30:28Clap your hands.
00:30:29Clap your hands.
00:30:30Woo.
00:30:32Oh.
00:30:33Here we go.
00:30:34I stepped out my house.
00:30:38And the sun was shining,
00:30:40oh,
00:30:40so bright.
00:30:43So relaxed.
00:30:45From the shit that I did last night,
00:30:48I called my boss.
00:30:50Fuck him.
00:30:51Told him I wasn't coming to work today.
00:30:54He texted back and said,
00:30:57why?
00:30:58And this is what I had to say.
00:31:01Oh.
00:31:02Tell him what you did,
00:31:14Vernon.
00:31:15I did her and she did me.
00:31:22We came together and we're so loving.
00:31:26What?
00:31:26We did that good sex dance.
00:31:28Put your hips in it.
00:31:29We did that good sex dance.
00:31:32Put your shoulders in it.
00:31:33We did that good sex dance.
00:31:34You put that,
00:31:35you put the hips in it.
00:31:36We did that good sex dance.
00:31:37You put that,
00:31:38you put the shoulders in it.
00:31:40And it felt so cool.
00:31:42I was in those good.
00:31:43She started screaming,
00:31:45oh,
00:31:45are you good?
00:31:52Legs everywhere.
00:31:53She didn't know what to do with it.
00:31:56I went to get a breakfast
00:31:57before I left.
00:31:59She grabbed a cell phone,
00:32:03called her boyfriend up
00:32:05and said it was over.
00:32:07She was never coming home.
00:32:09He said,
00:32:10why?
00:32:12He started to cry.
00:32:15She looked in my eyes.
00:32:18And this is what she said
00:32:21to him,
00:32:22oh.
00:32:24I had me
00:32:26so good
00:32:27last night.
00:32:28Yes,
00:32:29she did.
00:32:29Met a cutie
00:32:30with a nice smile.
00:32:32Good vibes
00:32:32and he fucked me
00:32:34all night.
00:32:34Yes,
00:32:35she did.
00:32:35What are you doing?
00:32:37I did him
00:32:39and he did me,
00:32:42yeah.
00:32:43We came together
00:32:44and he was so lovely.
00:32:47Ladies,
00:32:48we did that good sex.
00:32:49Put your hips in it.
00:32:51We did that good sex.
00:32:52Put your shoulders in it.
00:32:54We did that good sex.
00:32:55Put that hips in it.
00:32:57We did that good sex.
00:32:59Put your shoulders in it
00:33:00and it felt so cool.
00:33:02So here's the
00:33:05had good sex.
00:33:08I want y'all to sing this with me.
00:33:10I want everybody
00:33:10to just hum with me.
00:33:12If he's there,
00:33:12just hold his hand.
00:33:13I want y'all to have
00:33:13everybody to sing.
00:33:14Let's go.
00:33:25One more time.
00:33:25Here we go.
00:33:26Break it down.
00:33:26Let me hear y'all.
00:33:27Let's go.
00:33:32Come on.
00:33:33How you doing, y'all?
00:33:37We're going all the way down,
00:33:38dudes.
00:33:38Come on.
00:33:39Let me hear you.
00:33:47We came together.
00:33:49You were so lovely.
00:33:54We came together.
00:33:55You were so lovely.
00:33:57I fought for a car.
00:33:59God damn it.
00:34:00I paid a rent.
00:34:01I gave her all the motherfucking
00:34:03money, God damn it.
00:34:04And she was so motherfucking good,
00:34:05I cussed my mama out over her.
00:34:07I swear to God, I did.
00:34:12Woo!
00:34:12Woo!
00:34:19Go.
00:34:23We did the good sex.
00:34:25We did the good sex.
00:34:27We did the good sex.
00:34:30We did the good sex.
00:34:32We did the good sex.
00:34:33We did the good sex.
00:34:34We did the good sex.
00:34:35We did the good sex.
00:34:35We did the good sex.
00:34:36Yeah.
00:34:42What's up?
00:34:45Y'all all right?
00:34:49I'm just going to talk to y'all this one.
00:34:51Crystal, let's mellow it out.
00:34:53Talk to them real quick.
00:34:54Give it up for my love angels.
00:34:55Thank you, Jesus.
00:35:16Yeah.
00:35:18We're going to mellow out on this one.
00:35:19Y'all all right?
00:35:21Okay.
00:35:21Okay.
00:35:21See, every relationship gets to this point where you have this talk.
00:35:33Some of y'all are going to do this tonight.
00:35:35Some of y'all did this already.
00:35:38Some of y'all want to do this.
00:35:39You got to have talks about it.
00:35:41But.
00:35:46Listen to me.
00:35:49No.
00:35:52This song is dedicated to all the ladies out there that's trying to trap a basketball player,
00:35:59trap a football player, trap a baseball player, trap a hockey player, trap a motherfucker,
00:36:04any type of player, soccer, I don't give a fuck, golf, everything.
00:36:07This song is for you.
00:36:11Now, if you're one of the motherfuckers, a baseball player, football player, baseball player, all
00:36:16the motherfuckers, and you're stupid enough to do this shit, this song is for you.
00:36:22Or if you're just with a sexy, lovely, beautiful, wonderful young lady, this song is for you.
00:36:34Even though I don't know you that very well.
00:36:47That outfit that you're wearing, girl.
00:36:50It's sexy as hell.
00:36:52These drinks and these shots got us a little kissy and touchy.
00:36:58If we keep kissing and touching.
00:37:00Oh my.
00:37:01Sooner or later we'll be fucking low.
00:37:04I don't know where you've been, where you've been, or how many men you've been with.
00:37:09Are you in a relationship?
00:37:11Are you in a relationship?
00:37:14Or do you have kids?
00:37:16What I do know.
00:37:18I left my condoms in the car.
00:37:22And if we don't, what are we going to do?
00:37:26I'm going to go wrong.
00:37:29I'm going to take this condom off.
00:37:32I'm going to go wrong.
00:37:34Baby, girl, I want to put my flesh in you.
00:37:38I'm going to go wrong.
00:37:40R-A-W, baby.
00:37:41I'm going to take this flesh in you loose.
00:37:44I'm going to go wrong.
00:37:46I'm going to go wrong.
00:37:52Yes.
00:37:53I'm talking about wrong, unprotected sex.
00:37:57The shit that you do.
00:37:59Where you don't give a fuck about anything.
00:38:02It hurts when you pee.
00:38:04You don't care about the child support.
00:38:06You don't care about none of that.
00:38:08You're wrong.
00:38:09And you ladies know you're wrong.
00:38:11I know I'm talking crazy, but listen to me later.
00:38:14Let my love lotion fill your fallopian tubes.
00:38:21Let my little baby mamas slide all through you.
00:38:27Let the flesh of my penis skin rub your vaginal walls.
00:38:32If you wonder why I feel so good.
00:38:36If you wonder why I feel so good.
00:38:39If you wonder why I feel so good.
00:38:41You got a condom on?
00:38:42Nope.
00:38:43It's because I'm wrong.
00:38:46I'll take this condom off.
00:38:49Baby, I'm wrong.
00:38:50Baby, I got my...
00:38:52I got my flesh in you.
00:38:55Baby, I'm wrong.
00:38:56Woo!
00:38:56Raw, baby.
00:38:58I'm about to let this lotion loose.
00:39:00Baby, I'm wrong.
00:39:02Ah.
00:39:05I'm gonna go wrong and do it.
00:39:08See?
00:39:11Ladies have been here before.
00:39:12See?
00:39:13You know you have been...
00:39:15Bring it all the way down.
00:39:16Let me talk to them.
00:39:16Let me talk to them.
00:39:17See?
00:39:18You have been to the club and fellas and...
00:39:21You got that beautiful lovey lady.
00:39:23And she got that black skirt.
00:39:24You know them black skirts they wear?
00:39:26I call them tube socks.
00:39:27The motherfucker from here all the way down.
00:39:29And you kissing on her.
00:39:32And she ain't got no panties on.
00:39:33You feel the panty line right here.
00:39:35And you're like, oh my God.
00:39:36And y'all kissing.
00:39:39You feel she's so wet.
00:39:40She's so wet.
00:39:41You so hard.
00:39:42And you're not thinking...
00:39:43You drunk off Ciroc.
00:39:44She drunk off tequila.
00:39:47Y'all fucked up.
00:39:48It's Taco Tuesday.
00:39:50It's going down.
00:39:51And you're like, oh my God.
00:39:53And you're kissing.
00:39:54And you're touching.
00:39:56And you're kissing.
00:39:57And you lift that skirt up.
00:40:00And you slide on in and get the stroking like...
00:40:05She's working that shit.
00:40:14She's working that shit.
00:40:18She's working that shit.
00:40:19She's working that shit.
00:40:23She's working that...
00:40:25Oh, God.
00:40:26Is this okay?
00:40:27Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40:32Lord.
00:40:33It's so wet.
00:40:35Lord.
00:40:36It's so wet.
00:40:38Lord.
00:40:39It's so wet.
00:40:41Oh, my God.
00:40:42It's so wet.
00:40:43It's so wet.
00:40:44It's so wet.
00:40:47Oh, my God.
00:40:51You're like, oh, my God.
00:40:52I can't believe I fucked it with O'Connor.
00:40:54I don't mean to our first name.
00:40:56You see, like, oh, my God.
00:40:58I didn't even notice, nigga.
00:40:59And he up in me like this shit.
00:41:01What the fuck am I doing?
00:41:04I need to get tested at this shit.
00:41:06You thinking about this, but he fucking the shit out of you.
00:41:08He fucking the shit I heard.
00:41:09And y'all both like...
00:41:11It feels so good.
00:41:13Oh.
00:41:14It feels so good.
00:41:16Oh, shit.
00:41:19Oh, shit.
00:41:20Oh, shit.
00:41:21Oh, shit.
00:41:22Oh, shit.
00:41:22Oh, shit.
00:41:23Oh, shit.
00:41:24Oh, shit.
00:41:25Oh, shit.
00:41:27Oh, shit.
00:41:43Shit.
00:41:45You know, you just sit there for a minute.
00:41:46You breathe.
00:41:47God damn.
00:41:53You okay?
00:41:54I'm good.
00:41:54You all right?
00:41:56Did you come?
00:41:57I don't know.
00:41:58Did I?
00:42:00I think I did.
00:42:02Oh, shit.
00:42:03It's coming out of me.
00:42:04What the fuck?
00:42:07Like, y'all ain't never been there before.
00:42:09Quit acting like y'all.
00:42:10Some of y'all got kids off that shit right now.
00:42:16I'm sorry.
00:42:17I was in a moment right there.
00:42:20It's all right, though.
00:42:21Sex is good.
00:42:22It's have fun.
00:42:23You know?
00:42:23Too much going on right now.
00:42:25Everybody just want to have fun.
00:42:27Everybody wants to be gangsters and thugs now.
00:42:30What's going on with this world?
00:42:31Like, look at this shit now.
00:42:33God has put everybody in the house.
00:42:36It lets you know ain't nothing powerful than him.
00:42:39He put everybody in the fucking house.
00:42:43Is that some shit?
00:42:44We got, we got nuclear weapons.
00:42:50We got airplanes.
00:42:52But a bat put everybody in the fucking house.
00:42:56It's crazy.
00:42:57The niggas still want to be hard.
00:42:59Why is this shit?
00:43:01Everybody will be hard, man.
00:43:03Like, let me tell you something.
00:43:05The hardest motherfucker on this planet is a judge.
00:43:11That is the hardest nigga on the planet.
00:43:13I don't give a fuck who you are.
00:43:14A judge will humble you.
00:43:17You could be the coldest killer in the world.
00:43:20A gangster.
00:43:22You know?
00:43:23You could be in the back.
00:43:24I don't give a fuck, nigga.
00:43:26No blood and a crip.
00:43:28I'll kill everybody.
00:43:30The fuck you want?
00:43:31You want to fight?
00:43:32Nigga, you want to shoot?
00:43:32Nigga, what's happening?
00:43:33Let's squabble up.
00:43:34Excuse me.
00:43:35The People vs. Darnell Johnson.
00:43:37How you doing, Honor?
00:43:38I'm here to say that I'm sorry for what I've done.
00:43:42I've changed my life around tremendously.
00:43:45I don't know what happened to me.
00:43:46I was born as a child.
00:43:47I was fucked up.
00:43:50Please don't give me 50 years.
00:43:51Please don't give me 50 years.
00:43:54You go back in the corner.
00:43:55Yeah, nigga.
00:43:56I ain't read about it, nigga.
00:43:57That's good.
00:43:59You know, it's crazy about other countries.
00:44:01They don't give out years.
00:44:03They give out lashes.
00:44:03That's crazy.
00:44:06I don't go fuck what you about.
00:44:07A lash?
00:44:09Nigga's like, I'll take that shit.
00:44:10You got a choice.
00:44:11It'll be 20 years or five lashes.
00:44:13Nigga, I ain't read about that.
00:44:14Give me them lashes, nigga.
00:44:15What's happening?
00:44:17You ain't been hit by a lash?
00:44:21I know slaves have, but nigga, it's a different type of lash.
00:44:23That motherfucker got little tips of steel on it.
00:44:26And when that motherfucker, before it hits you,
00:44:28you know, it's like...
00:44:29Pshh!
00:44:30Oh, shit!
00:44:37They got new laws now, though.
00:44:39Like, niggas think pimping was the shit.
00:44:42Pimping ain't shit no more.
00:44:44Remember back in the days, niggas thought pimping was the shit?
00:44:46You didn't get no time for pimping.
00:44:48You know, you get four weeks for pimping.
00:44:52Pimps be happy.
00:44:53Like, yeah, nigga, shit, nigga.
00:44:55What you in here for, man?
00:44:56Nigga, pimping and pandering, nigga.
00:44:58What's happening, nigga?
00:45:00Ain't me fucking 120 days, nigga.
00:45:02The bitches gonna have all my money while I'm in this motherfucker, nigga.
00:45:06No money, whole money, nigga.
00:45:07What's happening?
00:45:08They got a new charge for their ass now.
00:45:11Got a new charge.
00:45:12You mean shit now?
00:45:13Nigga, pimp get arrested now.
00:45:14You think you're the shit.
00:45:15Yeah, nigga, hurry up.
00:45:16Give me my bail money, nigga.
00:45:17My hoes is waiting outside.
00:45:19Nigga, what's happening?
00:45:20No, I don't think you're going nowhere now.
00:45:22What the fuck do you mean, baby?
00:45:25What the fuck do you mean I ain't going nowhere?
00:45:26Shit, it's pimping and pandering, right?
00:45:28No, it's not pimping and pandering.
00:45:30It's human trafficking.
00:45:35Human trafficking?
00:45:36What the fuck are you talking about, nigga?
00:45:37I ain't never been to Mexico.
00:45:38What the fuck are you talking about?
00:45:40No, you have hoes, right?
00:45:42Yeah, I got 17 of them, nigga.
00:45:43They outside, right?
00:45:44Yeah.
00:45:45Have you took them to another state?
00:45:46You go to Vegas?
00:45:46Yeah, all the time, nigga.
00:45:48Well, that's human trafficking, nigga.
00:45:49You're getting 10 years for each ho.
00:45:52Shit, they're going to be at the courts.
00:45:55People versus Mo Money.
00:45:56That's not my name no more, your honor.
00:45:58My name is now Positive John.
00:46:00I have changed my life to preaching.
00:46:08Yeah, shit, dude.
00:46:09This shit's crazy, man.
00:46:10Everybody will be hard.
00:46:15Let's see, y'all good?
00:46:22Yeah, you like that?
00:46:32This song, uh...
00:46:34This song is, uh...
00:46:52Dedicated to all my ladies out there.
00:46:55See, I want to talk about this thug shit some more.
00:47:05See, y'all like that Tupac love?
00:47:07All the ladies love that Tupac.
00:47:09Give me some Tupac.
00:47:09Make some noise if you love Tupac.
00:47:10Clap if you love Tupac.
00:47:12All right, see.
00:47:16Y'all got it messed up.
00:47:17Y'all into this thug love type shit.
00:47:20See, Tupac wasn't a thug.
00:47:21He was a revolutionary that, um...
00:47:26Used thug love as a movement
00:47:28to bring our minority men together
00:47:31to fight this bullshit that we're going through right now.
00:47:35So, you really don't want to date no thug.
00:47:39Your motherfuckers don't want to date no thug.
00:47:40See, you got these rappers fucked up too
00:47:42because these rappers, they once was thugs,
00:47:45but they saw something positive in their life
00:47:48and they moved out of that shit
00:47:51to do something better.
00:47:53See, you don't want a thug.
00:47:56You want a nigga from the suburbs
00:47:57with some tattoos and cornrows and shit
00:47:59that think he a thug,
00:48:01but you don't want no real thug, for real.
00:48:03Ladies that dated real thugs
00:48:04know what the fuck I'm talking about.
00:48:05You know what I'm saying?
00:48:06What you think?
00:48:07You can just break up with a thug,
00:48:10tell that nigga it was over,
00:48:12and he gonna grab his garbage pad full of clothes,
00:48:14his guns, his weed, his crack,
00:48:15and just leave your motherfucking house?
00:48:17Hell no, nigga, his probation office
00:48:19had registered at that address.
00:48:21He can't leave your motherfucking house right now.
00:48:24Real talk, you think it's overweight?
00:48:27So, I'm gonna give you
00:48:30interpretation of dating a thug alike.
00:48:36So, here we go.
00:48:41So, y'all gotta understand, all right?
00:48:44So, I'm gonna give you a comparison.
00:48:45Here we go.
00:48:47Listen.
00:48:48See, a nice guy.
00:48:50He adores you.
00:48:52He's up early, making food.
00:48:56Breakfast.
00:48:58Eggs.
00:48:59As soon as it's done,
00:49:00he takes it to your bed, Ed.
00:49:02Your eyes open.
00:49:04He's excited.
00:49:06I made you breakfast, babe.
00:49:08Hope you like it.
00:49:09Then he hand-feeds you strawberries,
00:49:14orange juice.
00:49:16He gets your work clothes that you love to wear
00:49:19while you get dressed.
00:49:21He sits and stares.
00:49:23Just looks at you.
00:49:25When he looks at you,
00:49:26from them looks,
00:49:27you can tell that he adores you.
00:49:29And every morning,
00:49:32he does this.
00:49:34Telling you how you will be missed.
00:49:37Send you away with a soft kiss.
00:49:41Thugs wake up like this.
00:49:43Hmm.
00:49:45Bitch, get the fuck up!
00:49:48God damn it, I'm hungry!
00:49:50Bitch, I want some steak,
00:49:53some crepes,
00:49:54some homemade pan cakes, bitch.
00:49:57Get the fuck up right now, damn it!
00:49:59Braid my hair,
00:50:01wash my clothes.
00:50:03You got 15 minutes, bitch,
00:50:05to do all this shit,
00:50:06because God damn it,
00:50:07I gotta go now, baby.
00:50:08That's a glove!
00:50:10Yes!
00:50:11Good love!
00:50:13Oh!
00:50:13Say,
00:50:14say T-H-U-G.
00:50:17Say T-H-U-G.
00:50:18And now,
00:50:19baby, that's a good,
00:50:21oh!
00:50:22God love!
00:50:24Oh!
00:50:25Yes!
00:50:29Let me hear you say,
00:50:31say,
00:50:31T-H-U-G.
00:50:36Love!
00:50:40But now,
00:50:42you got that
00:50:43T-H-U-G.
00:50:48Love!
00:50:50Love!
00:50:52Now, a nice guy
00:51:01has a lot to say.
00:51:03He's sending you texts
00:51:04while you work all day.
00:51:06Kissy emojis,
00:51:08kissy poo,
00:51:09telling you how
00:51:10he misses you.
00:51:13Send you chocolates
00:51:14on your lunch break,
00:51:15sometimes roses,
00:51:17sometimes cupcakes.
00:51:18definition of a good man.
00:51:22Thugs,
00:51:23got a different plan.
00:51:25Hmm.
00:51:26Bitch,
00:51:27fuck your job.
00:51:29God damn it,
00:51:29you bet not leave.
00:51:31What the fuck?
00:51:32You gonna cook this crack?
00:51:34You gonna clean my guns?
00:51:35You gonna bag this weed?
00:51:36I need a thousand bags.
00:51:38I'm taking your car.
00:51:39Bitch,
00:51:40I got some robberies to do.
00:51:42God damn it.
00:51:43I'm telling you something.
00:51:44This is a police.
00:51:45Come by here,
00:51:46bitch.
00:51:46You better tell them
00:51:48that I was with you.
00:51:49Now, baby,
00:51:50that's a thug.
00:51:51God damn it.
00:51:52Dog love.
00:51:54Oh,
00:51:55ladies,
00:51:55say,
00:51:56T-H-U-G.
00:51:57Oh,
00:51:58say,
00:51:58T-H-U-G.
00:52:00Now,
00:52:01baby,
00:52:01that's a thug.
00:52:03Dog love.
00:52:05What?
00:52:06I gotta have it?
00:52:08You gotta have it?
00:52:09I gotta have it?
00:52:10What the fuck,
00:52:11baby?
00:52:11All eyes on me.
00:52:14This is what it's gonna be.
00:52:16God damn it.
00:52:17It's like this,
00:52:18bitch.
00:52:19What the fuck?
00:52:20Do what I say,
00:52:21bitch.
00:52:22God damn it,
00:52:23I'm taking your shit,
00:52:24bitch.
00:52:25What?
00:52:25This is my house,
00:52:27bitch.
00:52:27Play the rent,
00:52:28bitch.
00:52:29Ah!
00:52:30What the fuck I say,
00:52:32God damn it.
00:52:33Ladies,
00:52:33let me hear you say,
00:52:35T-H-U-G.
00:52:41Love.
00:52:44Love.
00:52:44Love.
00:52:45Let me hear you say,
00:52:46you say,
00:52:47T-H-U-G.
00:52:53Love.
00:52:55Love.
00:52:56Don't cry now.
00:52:57That's what y'all want,
00:52:58right?
00:52:59What the fuck?
00:53:00What you gonna do?
00:53:01Tkasi 6-9-0 now and shit?
00:53:03Snitch on him?
00:53:04Can't find an orchestrating order now.
00:53:06He's a thug.
00:53:08Y'all gonna get it for life.
00:53:10He want his name tattooed on your forehead.
00:53:13Immediately,
00:53:14right here,
00:53:14God damn it.
00:53:16See,
00:53:16when you go to jail,
00:53:17you better put up his commissary,
00:53:18God damn it.
00:53:19And come see him every weekend
00:53:21for three hours.
00:53:22And you're gonna sneeze some dope in.
00:53:24Fuck.
00:53:25Hoop that dope,
00:53:25and just come in this motherfucker like this.
00:53:28Thug love,
00:53:29God damn it.
00:53:30Thug love,
00:53:31God damn it.
00:53:32What?
00:53:33Thug love.
00:53:35Woo.
00:53:36Shit.
00:53:38Ladies and gentlemen,
00:53:38my name is Tripe the Comedian.
00:53:47Oh, oh, oh
00:54:17Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:54:31Yo, thank y'all for coming out, man.
00:54:35I really appreciate it.
00:54:36This has been like, shit, 15 years in the making.
00:54:40As you see, it's something different.
00:54:42So, I'm going to do another song.
00:54:45Is that OK with y'all?
00:54:46this one is uh has to do with the covert thing so um yeah um it's called i want to have some fun
00:54:58so um just vibe with me and uh we gonna do that all right let's go deuce
00:55:06yeah y'all just dancing this here we go
00:55:36y'all can one two step to the show huh we're gonna vibe out right here all right
00:55:44y'all can dance all you sexy ladies over there all y'all here here we go rex come on
00:55:49here we go let's go
00:56:01this one my chicagoans right here
00:56:06lord talk to him come on
00:56:12all right
00:56:29do you at home listen to everything i wanna
00:56:46have me so far
00:56:49i'm gonna
00:56:51have me so far
00:56:55i need to
00:56:57have me so far
00:57:00can't wait to
00:57:02have me so far
00:57:05when it's all over y'all i'm gonna start some shit ladies break up with your boyfriend
00:57:14niggas dump that chick
00:57:17come here baby girl uh let me smell your breath
00:57:22rub up with the booty just a little bit
00:57:26touch that chest now if you cough
00:57:30i ain't tripping
00:57:32if you sneeze
00:57:35i ain't tripping
00:57:38woo
00:57:39if you're a little warm a little bit
00:57:41i ain't tripping
00:57:43cause
00:57:44it's all over now
00:57:46and we just chilling and i'm tripping come on
00:57:50let me hear you say
00:57:51have me so far
00:57:54i wanna
00:57:56have me so far
00:58:00i need to
00:58:02have me so far
00:58:05i can't wait to
00:58:07have me so far
00:58:10how many y'all feel like this
00:58:11i just wanna feel
00:58:13i just wanna touch
00:58:16i just wanna hug somebody
00:58:19and not give a fuck
00:58:21i wanna kiss
00:58:23a girl in the mouth
00:58:24and taste her tongue
00:58:26go to
00:58:29my favorite concert
00:58:30and
00:58:31sing along
00:58:33now if somebody cough
00:58:35i ain't tripping
00:58:37if somebody sneeze
00:58:40i ain't tripping
00:58:43if somebody's warm
00:58:45right next to me
00:58:46i ain't tripping
00:58:48cause
00:58:49it's all over now
00:58:51and we just chilling
00:58:53let me hear y'all
00:58:54let me hear you say
00:58:56have me so far
00:58:59come on
00:59:00sing it with me now
00:59:01have me so far
00:59:04you can't wait to
00:59:06have me so far
00:59:10i need to
00:59:12have me so far
00:59:14everybody ring it down
00:59:15y'all give it up for my band
00:59:19i love goofy
00:59:20y'all give it up for them
00:59:21i'm gonna let them rock out
00:59:29i'm gonna introduce some for y'all
00:59:31so
00:59:33it's been eight months of rehearsals for this shit
00:59:36so
00:59:36i'm gonna let the first one up
00:59:38we call them
00:59:39magic fingers
00:59:40my man of guitar
00:59:43rex
00:59:45talk to him
00:59:47yeah
00:59:56yeah yeah yeah he's
01:00:11yeah ladies
01:00:12he's single
01:00:13yeah
01:00:15y'all all right
01:00:17so
01:00:17next up
01:00:19we call them white cocaine
01:00:22we call them white ecstasy
01:00:23you see them over there
01:00:26but we call them lincoln
01:00:28the president's name
01:00:29lincoln come on
01:00:30whooo shit
01:00:54yeah
01:00:55bad white wine
01:00:56y'all didn't get to do that
01:00:58next up
01:01:00we call them asian persuasion
01:01:03he co-signed for all his equipment up here
01:01:07because his credit isn't amazing
01:01:08but
01:01:11he's my partner
01:01:12we call them law
01:01:14law
01:01:15talk to him
01:01:18come on
01:01:18let's go
01:01:19that's a bad asian boy ain't it
01:01:47yeah
01:01:48yeah
01:01:48come on
01:01:49all right
01:01:51you ever hear me say this name all night
01:01:54he in the back chilly
01:01:56now we just let's do his thing
01:01:59he's gonna yell him out
01:02:00he's gonna do his thing
01:02:02here we go
01:02:03yeah
01:02:21he got anger management problems
01:02:25Yeah, he got anger management problems.
01:02:31Yeah.
01:02:32So we're going to go to this side now.
01:02:36First up, this is my day one.
01:02:40Me and him have been rocking since 2009, 2010.
01:02:45He got a hell of a shoe collection.
01:02:49I'm going to let him tell you why.
01:02:51He won't let me say his first name, but I'm just going to say,
01:02:54Jay, talk to him.
01:02:56Come on.
01:02:57Did you have some fun?
01:03:00Did you have some fun?
01:03:02Did you have some fun?
01:03:07Did you have some fun?
01:03:18Yeah, he got a nice spirit, don't he?
01:03:21That shit right there.
01:03:22Yeah, he got that COVID-free beer.
01:03:27You see that moment?
01:03:29Next up, y'all's here all night.
01:03:33She would know the things, but it's another one.
01:03:37Maya, talk to him.
01:03:38Come on.
01:03:39Have me suffer.
01:03:46Have me suffer.
01:03:51I want to have me suffer.
01:03:59Woo!
01:04:03Feel good now.
01:04:05Feel good now.
01:04:06Yeah.
01:04:09Next up.
01:04:11This is my blood.
01:04:13When I mean it, I'm for real.
01:04:15This is my little sister.
01:04:17Yeah.
01:04:19I used to change her diapers.
01:04:21Y'all thinking like, why you got your relatives up here?
01:04:25She's going to tell you why.
01:04:27Here we go.
01:04:30Talk to him.
01:04:31Oh, oh, oh.
01:04:42Oh, oh.
01:04:49Oh, oh.
01:04:52Don't you do it.
01:04:53Da da da da da.
01:04:54Do do do.
01:04:54Do do do do.
01:04:55Do do do do do.
01:04:56Do do do.
01:04:57Woo!
01:04:57Next up, this is my boy.
01:05:08We call him Key Y.
01:05:11I call him Key, and he's going to tell you why.
01:05:15Key Y.
01:05:16I want you the right way.
01:05:21I want you in a very state.
01:05:28Space away, space away, space away.
01:05:35Eee, eee, eee.
01:05:41Da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da.
01:05:43Da-da-da.
01:05:48Da-da-da-da.
01:05:51Ba-da-ba.
01:05:53Ba-de-ba-da-da-da.
01:05:54Da-da-da-da.
01:05:55Yeah, last by my niece, my love angels back there.
01:06:07All girl quartet, Crystal, Rhea, Desiree, Ginga.
01:06:15I call them my love angels.
01:06:17I'm letting them talk to y'all.
01:06:19Do you think, ladies?
01:06:21Here we go.
01:06:23So pretty right here.
01:06:25So pretty right here.
01:06:55All minorities, give it up for that.
01:07:06All minorities, give it up for them.
01:07:09How many comedians can say they got a fucking quartet and use them?
01:07:15So that's it for tonight.
01:07:16This is round one, volume one.
01:07:21We got many more to come.
01:07:23Thank y'all once again.
01:07:25I'm Trife, the comedian.
01:07:27I'm out.
01:07:29Deuce, take them out.
01:07:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:08:30Me and my girlfriend spent some quality time for the weekend. She cooked my favorite dish for the weekend. Tacos. In the middle of preparing this deliciousness, she realized she forgot some things to complete this dish.
01:08:56From the grocery store, I grabbed my car keys and headed to the store. Put out my house tonight's night as I slowly pulled up to the stoplight.
01:09:08Take it to the long. Let me turn some music on. Reach down to grab my phone. It was gone. I left it at home with my girlfriend.
01:09:21I left my cell phone at home alone with my girlfriend. I left my cell phone at home alone with my girlfriend.
01:09:34My cell phone is at home. Oh, man. God damn.
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