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Good Girls Gone Wild #ReelShort
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Music
00:00:30Oh, my God.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:47I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:22So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:37Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:43I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special, but this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:51So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:53Mushrooms?
00:01:55No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:00Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:01No.
00:02:02Sorry, Sue, I have a date.
00:02:06So do I.
00:02:07Sorry, Sue.
00:02:08Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:09We'll figure it out.
00:02:24Oh, flowers.
00:02:25Are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:32I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:35I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be, I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing, with you and me, together.
00:03:05Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:12You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:15but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:19Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29Okay, bye.
00:03:35Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rod.
00:03:49Sex God.
00:03:54Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:58Yeah, right, I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:17Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So, is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time, and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:34and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:42we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:04:48or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:51Eight.
00:04:52Maybe.
00:04:53Listen, guys, I'm, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:23Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:38on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:06Where are you going?
00:06:10It's 6.30 in the morning.
00:06:12To church.
00:06:13To pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:19Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:40It's about sex.
00:06:42Mm-hmm.
00:06:43I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Oh.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:03Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse.
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:25What?
00:07:26What?
00:07:28Ah!
00:07:29Ah!
00:07:30How could you do so?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:37What?
00:07:39Yes.
00:07:43Yes!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:46Home route!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:49Damn it!
00:07:51Oh, fucking Yankees.
00:07:54Sorry.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:07:55Sue.
00:07:56It is 1 p.m.
00:08:06What do you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez.
00:08:24Can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:44You know, shagging.
00:08:46Fucking!
00:08:46You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:10I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:12Hey, Frank.
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:39Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthdays.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:59Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:07Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:14Jake.
00:10:14And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:18To pop your chair.
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:37My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:43Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:48No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:55Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:07With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:27I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:31You're so perfect.
00:12:01I know.
00:12:02I don't know.
00:12:03I mean, I know.
00:12:07I know.
00:12:08Oh, it's perfect.
00:12:08Oh, it's perfect.
00:12:09I know.
00:12:21I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:51Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:09Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:21Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm going to see it.
00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46He's going to be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:00not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:11Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:16I love it!
00:14:18Um...
00:14:19You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:21It's very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:24Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:26Okay.
00:14:27Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:31I was going to have to get away.
00:14:32You'll have to be doing it.
00:14:33I'm not doing it.
00:14:34I'm not doing it.
00:14:35I did a lot of work.
00:14:36I'm not doing it.
00:14:37Once again, I'll do the next one.
00:14:38It's good.
00:14:39I will do it.
00:14:40Let it out.
00:14:41This is fun.
00:14:42Wow!
00:14:43Whoa!
00:14:44Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:45Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:14:47Oh, it's hot in the house!
00:14:51Whoa!
00:14:54Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts, nice!
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:10Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:15but be careful it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is Edible Missile Joy.
00:15:19Oh, how did you know?
00:15:21I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:29Poster, such a cutie.
00:15:31Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:33All right, sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:37Okay, we'll see you later.
00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, Ben.
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:02Oh, hon.
00:16:03Come here.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09I'll give it to you later.
00:16:10The time's right.
00:16:11Oh.
00:16:12You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:19Hey, Ralph.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23Oh, a bet.
00:16:25All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:29Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:33Check it out.
00:16:34Dare me.
00:16:35Oh, dude, look at those.
00:16:36Are those real?
00:16:37I don't...
00:16:38Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:16:39Hey!
00:16:40I do, move.
00:16:41Come on.
00:16:42Lame.
00:16:43Oh, all right.
00:16:44Okay.
00:16:46Hi.
00:16:47Ho, ho.
00:16:48That's creepy.
00:16:49Have you written to you?
00:16:50Watch your face and I guess we need you to put that one.
00:16:54Stay right there and see it tonight.
00:16:59Hey, that's scary.
00:17:00Come on.
00:17:01Have you seen Cheryl?
00:17:02Hey, I do.
00:17:03Move.
00:17:04i'm lame.
00:17:04Oh.
00:17:06All right.
00:17:06Okay.
00:17:07Hey, I got to Enzo andKat.
00:17:08Okay, I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the booze.
00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:23Oopsie.
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday. Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36What?
00:17:38I'm in.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:44I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake? I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:03Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:06All right, how come I haven't even met you before?
00:18:09I don't know, maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs, I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:22Go roll.
00:18:25Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:27Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka, cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I can go meet Rob.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:44They're just eyes.
00:18:47Okay, nothing to be scared of, seriously.
00:18:49It's going to be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No, he does not have gay face.
00:19:01I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:02I'm going to do it.
00:19:09Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:12No, he does not have gay face.
00:19:15I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm going to do it.
00:19:17I'm going to do this.
00:19:19Go back.
00:19:22Hey, you can do this.
00:19:24Just act like a slut.
00:19:28Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:32Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:46Uh, in private?
00:19:48No.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:09Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:15And I really want to...
00:20:18Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:20Is that wrong?
00:20:21Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:31I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:42I like you too.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46You do?
00:20:47I do.
00:20:48I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:00Batman.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins,
00:21:18when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless,
00:21:23yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed,
00:21:31over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth,
00:21:38growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:45I just feel such compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things too.
00:21:50So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:55I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04I just...
00:22:05So...
00:22:10I'm going to go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're going to tell you three months.
00:22:19Hey, Ty.
00:22:20Whoa!
00:22:22Can you see him, Jake?
00:22:23Uh, no.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25All right.
00:22:29Okay.
00:22:29All right, focus.
00:22:30Focus, focus.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:31Okay.
00:22:32Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:33Okay.
00:22:34So, what happened?
00:23:02Did you guys do it?
00:23:04Sue?
00:23:05He doesn't want me.
00:23:07Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not.
00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:13The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:23:17you.
00:23:18Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:23:23what kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:23:27What?
00:23:28What?
00:23:29Come with me.
00:23:30Where?
00:23:31To meet your dark side.
00:23:32Where?
00:23:33To meet your dark side.
00:23:35Out.
00:23:35Everyone out.
00:23:36Out.
00:23:37Everyone out.
00:23:38Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:23:53Face-to-face.
00:23:54I really can't.
00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:09Sue, I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:14I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:17Sue?
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:19Can you see it?
00:24:21Sue?
00:24:22I'm almost...
00:24:23I'm almost there.
00:24:25Oh!
00:24:26What?
00:24:27What?
00:24:28Sue, what happened?
00:24:29What did you see?
00:24:30A raccoon?
00:24:31What?
00:24:32You overshot it.
00:24:33Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:35What?
00:24:36What?
00:24:37Sue, what happened?
00:24:38What did you see?
00:24:39A raccoon?
00:24:40What?
00:24:41You overshot it.
00:24:42Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:45I can't.
00:24:52Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:54Okay, fine.
00:24:55Fine.
00:24:56I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:59What?
00:25:00You really need an orgasm.
00:25:03Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:25:07never even had it with yourself.
00:25:09This really has to be your first step.
00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:12Coming.
00:25:13Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:16Just find it and use it.
00:25:18Wait.
00:25:19What does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:20It's black.
00:25:21It vibrates.
00:25:22Come on, Rod.
00:25:25Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:28And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:32Hey, cutie!
00:25:33Cutie!
00:25:34Cutie!
00:25:35Oh!
00:25:36Boozeye!
00:25:37Oh, yeah!
00:25:38Bang!
00:25:39Bang!
00:25:40Bang!
00:25:41Bang!
00:25:42Good boy.
00:25:43Straighten up.
00:25:44Good boy.
00:25:45Good boy.
00:25:46Good boy.
00:25:47He knows over a hundred commands.
00:25:48I'm sorry I can't see anything.
00:25:49That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:25:50What a bitch.
00:25:51Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:06I'm sorry I can't see anything.
00:26:07That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:08What a bitch.
00:26:09Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:13There is a thing.
00:26:14legislation is not Mutant, no.
00:26:16It is a thing, Nick.
00:26:17I don't know what a bitch when it comes to a null for me.
00:26:20It's fucking useful, so he just takes a bit of light.
00:26:22After it takes care of me, you see, James, our room,ásize resentful and cleanly.
00:26:23Well, Champ Doncais, the door is dark.
00:26:24And just wanted to figure out the windows of the diving field, so I was able to.
00:26:25Wait a minute to fill out my bowls.
00:26:27And you can do that.
00:26:28Hey.
00:26:29I can't stop my away my body every day, so it's fine.
00:26:32Cutie in real?!
00:26:33's экономically, so I'm not too cold, don't worry?
00:26:35What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:05Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:11He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:23No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:28It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:41Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:51No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:27:59I'm leaving.
00:28:00Revenge sex.
00:28:02Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:12Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:14It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:19But he... I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't care about me. I mean, why would...
00:28:23He's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:27Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him. To his ego.
00:28:31To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:34Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:40No, I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:45Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:47Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:49I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:53Really? And what type is that?
00:28:55Slutty.
00:28:57Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:02Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:06Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't... fooled around with.
00:29:16Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:20No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:22Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:27to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage
00:29:30and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:35But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:39I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:46I don't know.
00:29:48Trust me. It's going to work.
00:29:51Okay.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01Are you okay enough to chat with her?
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:14Hey.
00:30:16Happy birthday.
00:30:19Thanks.
00:30:21Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:46So, happy birthday.
00:30:51Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:58America?
00:31:01United States?
00:31:02I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:09I know where we live.
00:31:10Right.
00:31:11Of course.
00:31:12Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:31:13Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:15Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:16Yeah, no.
00:31:17I can totally move.
00:31:18I just...
00:31:19No.
00:31:20You're fine.
00:31:21Jake!
00:31:22So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:28Oh.
00:31:29I'm sorry.
00:31:30It?
00:31:31What?
00:31:32Um...
00:31:33It.
00:31:34Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:31:37Get real nasty.
00:31:38Oh!
00:31:39Oh!
00:31:40Oh!
00:31:41You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:44I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:45You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:46Yeah, sure.
00:31:47I mean, well, yeah, you know, I mean, I just never realized that you, I mean...
00:31:48...
00:31:49whew.
00:31:50Uh...
00:31:51It's just...
00:31:52You're so...
00:31:53I just never...
00:31:54ãy of course...
00:31:55Oh!
00:31:56Don't worry.
00:31:57Holy shit.
00:31:58Oh, my friend.
00:31:59You.
00:32:00Doesn't know how to do, you know, I mean.
00:32:01No, your Dad...
00:32:02Pete.
00:32:03Oh, did my Dad.
00:32:05And he took me...
00:32:06I just never realized that you...
00:32:07I mean...
00:32:10Uh...
00:32:11It's just...
00:32:12It's just, you're so, you're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay, um, no cuisine.
00:32:23Right, um, of course.
00:32:26Sorry?
00:32:28So, um, do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:34Oh, wow, uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:40Yeah, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47Yeah, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:50Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:54So the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:56Um, where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.
00:33:01Oh, yeah, here it is.
00:33:02I see it.
00:33:04Let me just, uh...
00:33:05Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Sorry, sorry, I, um...
00:33:10It's, it's okay.
00:33:11Do it again.
00:33:14Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:21Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31Just, um, pull it.
00:33:33Let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez.
00:33:38Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:40Help!
00:33:40Help!
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:45Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:34:03How you doing tonight?
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:07Jake!
00:34:08I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:11I can't hear you.
00:34:14I need another beer.
00:34:16The chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:17It's right here.
00:34:19Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Hold on.
00:34:22I'll take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24How much beer?
00:34:24Thanks, Joe.
00:34:34I don't want to draw nothing.
00:34:38Uh...
00:34:38Uh...
00:34:39Uh...
00:34:40Uh...
00:34:42Uh...
00:34:43Uh...
00:34:44Uh...
00:34:44Uh...
00:34:44Uh...
00:34:45Uh...
00:34:45Uh...
00:34:46Uh...
00:34:51Finally.
00:34:53I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:58Um, don't worry about it.
00:34:59What?
00:35:01I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, OK.
00:35:08OK.
00:35:21OK.
00:35:22OK.
00:35:23I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:28Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:35Oh.
00:35:37Well, OK.
00:35:38OK.
00:35:39Mm.
00:35:51wave.
00:35:55Um, you're withsted.
00:36:00Oh, my God.
00:36:01Oh.
00:36:06Oh, my God.
00:36:09Oh, my God.
00:36:11Oh God.
00:36:11Oh, my God.
00:36:15Oh, my God.
00:36:17Oh.
00:36:18Oh.
00:36:20Oh.
00:36:21What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:32Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:42So good.
00:36:44Huh.
00:36:47Yep.
00:36:47Oh, my god.
00:36:49Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:51What?
00:36:52What?
00:36:52What?
00:36:53Oh.
00:36:54Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:57Wait, is that even a thing?
00:36:59I don't know.
00:37:01Ah.
00:37:03Are you OK?
00:37:06No, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:09I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:37:11It's probably TMJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:18Are you sure you're OK?
00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:21OK, great.
00:37:22Have fun.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:28Now.
00:37:29Now, let's do it now.
00:37:30No, no, not yet.
00:37:31Not yet.
00:37:34All right, I'm going to come.
00:37:35I'm going to come.
00:37:35Are you ready?
00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:39No, no, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:40Lexi!
00:37:41Lexi!
00:37:42Oh!
00:37:42Oh!
00:37:43Oh!
00:37:45Oh, no, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:47Lexi!
00:37:48Lexi!
00:37:48Oh!
00:37:49Oh!
00:37:50Oh!
00:37:51No means no!
00:37:52Huh?
00:37:53Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time and I just, I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:38:03Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:05How you doing?
00:38:07How's it going?
00:38:09Eric?
00:38:11Eric, help me.
00:38:13I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:15Excuse me.
00:38:19Cheryl's in here.
00:38:25What's up, bruh?
00:38:27What the fuck is...
00:38:29Hey, wait!
00:38:31Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:41Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:45Damn it.
00:38:47I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:49Hey, you!
00:38:51You better stop making fun of the blind
00:38:53or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:55Ow!
00:38:57I'm so sorry!
00:38:59I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:01Hey!
00:39:03Hey!
00:39:05Hey!
00:39:07Hey!
00:39:09Hey!
00:39:11Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:28This party's ass.
00:39:32Yeah!
00:39:36This just isn't working.
00:39:39Nothing.
00:39:40What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:39:45I'm careful, man.
00:39:46The lock sticks.
00:39:48Spark it up.
00:39:49Yes!
00:39:53Oh, man!
00:39:54I love this game!
00:39:55We're in the controllers.
00:39:56We gotta play.
00:39:57Here, here, here.
00:39:58Okay, let me find another one.
00:39:59All right, watch on.
00:40:02Whoa!
00:40:04Look at this!
00:40:07Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
00:40:09Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:40:17Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:20Wasn't me.
00:40:25Whoa, whoa, nice!
00:40:28Are you sitting there or something?
00:40:30Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:33Nice, nice!
00:40:46Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:47Hey, you found the controller.
00:40:58Whoa!
00:41:00You are the controller.
00:41:02No, I just...
00:41:03I didn't.
00:41:05I swear, I...
00:41:06I'm going to get it.
00:41:08I just...
00:41:11I can't...
00:41:12Hey, Sue!
00:41:13What's going on, man?
00:41:14It's okay.
00:41:15Um...
00:41:15Hey, Sue!
00:41:15All right, all right.
00:41:17Hey, hey, Sue.
00:41:19What's going on, man?
00:41:22It's all right.
00:41:23Hey, Sue.
00:41:34Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:36Yeah, I just needed Sue.
00:41:39Oh, sure.
00:41:41Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:46You were?
00:41:48You mean?
00:41:50Yeah.
00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:57Could we go get a drink?
00:42:01Wow, your toilet's really clogged.
00:42:05Do you know what?
00:42:07I gotta go.
00:42:08Happy birthday.
00:42:09Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't, I didn't, oh, God, never mind.
00:42:25This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:28Never going to have sex.
00:42:30Ow.
00:42:30Hello, a little attention here.
00:42:53Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:42:54Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:01All right.
00:43:03Sorry.
00:43:03Sorry.
00:43:15Ugh.
00:43:16Jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:22Screw it.
00:43:23Screw it.
00:43:32Ah.
00:43:35Ha.
00:43:43Ah.
00:43:45Ha, ha.
00:43:46Ha, ha.
00:43:46Woo.
00:43:46Oh, no, that was bad.
00:44:06That was so bad.
00:44:16Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:25I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:30Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:34Yes, it does.
00:44:36So, you're JJ?
00:44:37Uh-oh.
00:44:46Hello, welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:45:03Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:13Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, my goodness.
00:45:161-900-CONFESSION.
00:45:20How may I be of service?
00:45:22It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day.
00:45:29Ow!
00:45:34Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:38Go on.
00:45:40Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:43Well, actually, I didn't know.
00:45:45A washing machine did.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:48A washing machine touched her.
00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine, and, well.
00:45:54All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:56What?
00:45:57But what do I do?
00:45:58Just unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:03Well, then be happy you found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious.
00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:46:13Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:16No contritions?
00:46:17You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:20It's not in the Bible.
00:46:22So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:25Like, morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:28Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:31Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:35Huh.
00:46:37God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:39He sure is.
00:46:40Now run along.
00:46:44Wow.
00:46:45How do you know all that?
00:46:47Because I'm a nun.
00:46:49Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:52Huh.
00:46:52Accidental masturbation.
00:46:54Who would have thought?
00:46:55Revenge sex.
00:47:05What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:07God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:11Yeah, admit it.
00:47:12I've got no game.
00:47:14I guess I can skip it.
00:47:15I guess I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:20Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:23I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:27You go, girl.
00:47:29What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:33We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:38Yeah?
00:47:39If you want someone great.
00:47:40I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:46Frank, the blind guy.
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:52I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:55It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:58It was like, we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:03If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:07All right.
00:48:07What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:16Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:21I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:25Jeremy Jones.
00:48:26This all makes sense.
00:48:28Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:32Hi.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:34Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:36You'll meet her.
00:48:37We'll have to be here in like an hour.
00:48:39Wait.
00:48:39You have a girlfriend?
00:48:53Oh.
00:48:54Hey, Frank.
00:48:56Sit.
00:48:56Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:49:05Relax.
00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:18Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed.
00:49:20I'm fine.
00:49:21And why are you biting your nail?
00:49:23I'm not.
00:49:26How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:34Sit.
00:49:36Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Oh, how do you, how do you want me to?
00:49:52Just lay down.
00:49:53You want me to, I.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05Oh.
00:50:05I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:14Oh.
00:50:17See me with your hands.
00:50:18All right.
00:50:23Uh.
00:50:30You know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:46Mmm.
00:50:46Peanut butter.
00:50:47Frank, Frank, oh, oh, Frank.
00:51:17Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank.
00:51:47It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:01No, let me do this.
00:52:03Go ahead.
00:52:03I got it.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:05No, really, please.
00:52:05I want to help.
00:52:09Okay, everybody out.
00:52:11Leave.
00:52:12I have to back you.
00:52:17You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:29I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:34It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38It's a dirty floor.
00:52:40It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:44It's...
00:52:45Okay.
00:52:46Oh, God.
00:52:49Oh, God.
00:52:51Oh, God.
00:52:53Oh, God.
00:52:55Oh, God.
00:52:57Oh, God.
00:52:59Oh, God.
00:53:01Okay.
00:53:02Oh, yeah.
00:53:03Oh, all right.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06I think I got all of that.
00:53:08I'm just gonna...
00:53:09I'll see you.
00:53:10Oh.
00:53:16Oh, Jesus.
00:53:18Frankie.
00:53:20Oh, my.
00:53:21Oh.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Ah, fucking shit.
00:53:25Man, we got a...
00:53:26Oh, look at smoking here.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:33Oh, shit.
00:53:34Oh, sorry, man.
00:53:35We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:37Oh, I heard something.
00:53:38You want to join us?
00:53:39Uh...
00:53:40No, I might try.
00:53:41Come on.
00:53:42You gotta do it.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:44Seriously, guys.
00:53:45Frank?
00:53:46Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:55Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:00Thanks, man.
00:54:02Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:04I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:08Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:09I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:12Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:15This is some good shit.
00:54:17Oh, no.
00:54:18You're the devil.
00:54:19No more.
00:54:20JJ, I'm...
00:54:21Jeremy.
00:54:22You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:23Please.
00:54:24Lex, I can't.
00:54:25I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:26I really like this girl.
00:54:27I love this girl.
00:54:28You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:31Please.
00:54:32Lex, I can't.
00:54:33Oh, no, you're the devil.
00:54:37No more.
00:54:41JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:43You have to remember that amazing time we had together,
00:54:45don't you?
00:54:47Please.
00:54:48Lex, I can't.
00:54:50I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:52I really like this girl.
00:54:54Fine.
00:54:55It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra,
00:55:00and I also have on crotchless panties
00:55:04with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09Oh.
00:55:14We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect.
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect.
00:55:30Let's do it.
00:55:33Let's do it.
00:55:34Fuck me.
00:55:35Fuck me now.
00:55:40What?
00:55:41What's wrong?
00:55:42I can't.
00:55:43I can't get it in.
00:55:45It's too dry down there.
00:55:46It's like desert down there.
00:55:48It's sandpaper.
00:55:49Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:51Just try it again.
00:55:53No.
00:55:54Why is this happening?
00:55:56We've fooled around before.
00:55:57I was dripping wet.
00:55:58I came like four times, remember?
00:55:59Just do what you did then.
00:56:00Go on.
00:56:01I already did my thing.
00:56:02I already tried.
00:56:03What?
00:56:04What is different this time?
00:56:05I don't know.
00:56:06Last time, I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:09What?
00:56:10You're not JJ?
00:56:11But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:12How can you do that?
00:56:13I don't know.
00:56:14I don't know.
00:56:15I don't know.
00:56:16I don't know.
00:56:17I don't know what you're talking about.
00:56:18What?
00:56:19You're not JJ?
00:56:20But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:21How can you do that?
00:56:22I don't know.
00:56:23I don't know.
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:25How can you not be JJ?
00:56:27Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:30Where are you going?
00:56:31We're not done here.
00:56:33I can still do this.
00:56:34I just need a little bit of work.
00:56:35I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:38I don't need anyone else.
00:56:39We can do this.
00:56:41Go team.
00:56:43What?
00:56:44Just keep going.
00:56:49I can do this.
00:56:50Jeremy.
00:56:51I can do this.
00:56:52I can do this.
00:56:53I can do this.
00:56:54Shit.
00:56:55Jeremy.
00:56:56Where's Jeremy?
00:56:57We were just, you know.
00:56:58Hey babe.
00:56:59Just working out.
00:57:04How could you?
00:57:05You bastard.
00:57:06Uh, we were just, you know, cooking.
00:57:09Hey, babe.
00:57:10Just working out.
00:57:15How could you, you bastard?
00:57:20You might want to...
00:57:21What?
00:57:23What?
00:57:27Ah!
00:57:28Mariela!
00:57:29Mariela!
00:57:31You know, those aren't mine!
00:57:33At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:41What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well, no more. That's it.
00:57:48Really, that's the last one.
00:58:06What is wrong with you?
00:58:19Cheryl!
00:58:23What is it?
00:58:24What are you doing down here?
00:58:26Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here?
00:58:31What?
00:58:32Why?
00:58:33Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
00:58:37Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay.
00:58:42God.
00:58:44And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:45I'm sorry.
00:58:46It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
00:58:49That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes.
00:58:52He is such a dickwad.
00:58:53You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah.
00:58:56Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:02You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:05Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:06A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:08A big piece of it.
00:59:09Yeah.
00:59:11You know, you might want to...
00:59:14You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:19I don't know.
00:59:26I'm sorry.
00:59:27I'm sorry.
00:59:29I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:33I got no game.
00:59:35It's not important.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:54Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:56No, no, no.
00:59:57I really need to talk to you.
00:59:59Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:00:01No, no, no, no.
01:00:02I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,
01:00:04and I'm just embarrassed, and I want to make it up to you.
01:00:07Eric, really?
01:00:08I don't care.
01:00:09It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do.
01:00:11I mean, I do.
01:00:12I care.
01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:16Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:19But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:00:24Soon.
01:00:25Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out with like...
01:00:30Really?
01:00:31Eric, you're shy.
01:00:32You have no game.
01:00:33Well, no.
01:00:34Not really.
01:00:35Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:36Sorry.
01:00:37Okay.
01:00:38All right.
01:00:39I, uh...
01:00:40Happy birthday, then.
01:00:42Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:43I was trying to kiss you.
01:00:44I'm sorry.
01:00:45I was trying to kiss you.
01:00:47Hello, love?
01:00:48Help me.
01:00:57亙 ski bumps in the house.
01:01:01I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:10Aw.
01:01:13Oh my gosh.
01:01:14Here I come, baby.
01:01:25Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:29Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:31Um, we can't do this.
01:01:33Oh, God, baby.
01:01:34Not again.
01:01:34Oh, no, um.
01:01:35Honey, happy.
01:01:38What the fuck is this?
01:01:40Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:44Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:50Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:52You're...
01:01:53I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:56Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:02:00What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:02:03or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:05Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no.
01:02:07We can work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:10Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:11Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:13I promise.
01:02:14No, Jake.
01:02:14I can't do this.
01:02:15I'm sorry.
01:02:17Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please.
01:02:18Please, please, come on.
01:02:19Just go.
01:02:20I'm sorry.
01:02:21You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do...
01:02:24Yay!
01:02:25You did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:29You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:31Revenge sex?
01:02:34It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38It all makes sense now.
01:02:39Wow.
01:02:41Wow.
01:02:42I feel really stupid.
01:02:44Eric, I'm really...
01:02:45I'm really sorry.
01:02:47Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:50And you used me.
01:02:52Eric, please don't go.
01:02:53Please, Eric!
01:02:56Aren't you happy?
01:02:58Well, no.
01:02:59That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:02You mean the sex?
01:03:03Was it?
01:03:04Yeah.
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:09Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:13Anyway.
01:03:14We better get downstairs.
01:03:15People are starting to leave.
01:03:17I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:26I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:31This is bullshit!
01:03:32I can't believe she's got this shit.
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Dude, suck it!
01:03:37What the?
01:03:38God, I'm out of here!
01:03:40Yeah!
01:03:41He has good hair, though.
01:03:46Don't you puke on me.
01:03:49Don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:50I might say, Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:58Take this information.
01:04:00Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:06Was it from sex?
01:04:07Did you pop your cork?
01:04:08I don't think so.
01:04:09Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:11Oh, don't ask.
01:04:13Every possible object.
01:04:15It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:17It was like Transformers.
01:04:19They just all became vibrators.
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:23It's addicting.
01:04:23So what about Chris?
01:04:27Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:30Oh.
01:04:31Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:35Oh.
01:04:36Oh.
01:04:37I think it's broken.
01:04:38So wait.
01:04:40None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:42Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:49So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:51Can I go?
01:04:52No.
01:04:53I think I should finish up here.
01:04:56Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:58No.
01:04:58Well, I don't know.
01:05:00For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why?
01:05:06Do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:08Oh.
01:05:09Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:11tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:20Love him.
01:05:20Shut it.
01:05:21You want to do it?
01:05:21I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:22I want to get married.
01:05:23You want to do it?
01:05:24All right.
01:05:24All right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:28Um, no.
01:05:53No way.
01:05:53Oh, well.
01:06:10There's always next year.
01:06:12It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:06:36I don't know how to run.
01:06:38I don't know him.
01:06:39I don't know him.
01:06:40Land on home!
01:07:10And when the heat is on, you'll never take it away, give me a robot no more, and when the heat is on...
01:07:40Wow, that's amazing.
01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me. I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50He really captured his expression in his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:58Whose?
01:08:00Eric's. Well, it's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:08I have to go see him.
01:08:14Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:16Mmm.
01:08:261-900 confess.
01:08:28Sister Terese?
01:08:30Yeah, hon, there was a problem with your credit card. I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:36Oh, sure.
01:08:38It's 271.
01:08:40Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, like take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon. Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:56Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe. Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:07Sister? Can I get up now? I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No! Hust your trap!
01:09:15Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:09:19I will.
01:09:21Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:45Eric, wait.
01:09:48Cheryl?
01:09:49Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:56I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:01I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:04The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:07Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:12And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:16I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:22Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh.
01:10:25Wow.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi!
01:10:32Nice to meet you.
01:10:33Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?
01:10:42Yeah.
01:10:43Sure.
01:10:49Oh.
01:10:50Sorry.
01:10:51No kissing.
01:10:52Right.
01:10:53No, kissing.
01:10:54Oh.
01:10:55Mmm.
01:10:56Mmm.
01:10:57Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:20I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:24Oh.
01:11:29She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:32I wonder who it was.
01:11:33At least this birthday's over.
01:11:52At least this birthday's over.
01:12:05Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:12:22Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:44Do you know where the church is?
01:12:46It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:48Yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:50Or used to go to.
01:12:52It's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:58You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, I don't know.
01:13:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:20I don't think so.
01:13:23But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name?
01:13:25Sue.
01:13:26What's yours?
01:13:27Jesus.
01:13:29Really?
01:13:31Si.
01:13:34Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:35Maybe.
01:13:35Maybe I could use the ride.
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