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Good Girls Gone Wild #ReelShort
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Music
00:00:09Music
00:00:14Music
00:00:20Music
00:00:29Oh, my bad.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl?
00:00:37We have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:47Me too.
00:00:48Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:51Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:54Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:27Come on.
00:01:28Come on.
00:01:29Come on.
00:01:30Come on.
00:01:35So girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:38Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:43But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:02No.
00:02:05Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06I have a date.
00:02:07So do I.
00:02:09Sorry, Sue.
00:02:10Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:11We'll figure it out.
00:02:24Oh, flowers.
00:02:25Are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:32I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:36I guess you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49No, Jake.
00:02:50Not yet.
00:02:51When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:55It will be.
00:02:56I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing.
00:02:58With you and me.
00:03:00Together.
00:03:02Jake, no.
00:03:03I have to go.
00:03:04I have to work on my art project.
00:03:05You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective.
00:03:06But I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:07Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:09This Saturday?
00:03:10Of course.
00:03:11Thanks.
00:03:12Okay.
00:03:13Bye.
00:03:14Bye.
00:03:15Bye.
00:03:16Bye.
00:03:17Bye.
00:03:18Bye.
00:03:19Bye.
00:03:20Bye.
00:03:21Bye.
00:03:22Bye.
00:03:23Bye.
00:03:24Bye.
00:03:25Bye.
00:03:26Bye.
00:03:27Bye.
00:03:28Bye.
00:03:29Bye.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:31Bye.
00:03:32Bye.
00:03:34Bye.
00:03:38Woo.
00:03:39drive the ring.
00:03:41Nothing wrong enough.
00:03:42Oh, baby.
00:03:43You're so hot.
00:03:44I'm gonna do you so good.
00:03:45Oh yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:47What was your name again?
00:03:48Rod.
00:03:49Sex God.
00:03:53Ugh.
00:03:54Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:57You're right, I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:17Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy
00:04:34and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:42we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday
00:04:48or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:51Not eight, maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys.
00:04:55I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:02I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:05But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:20It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:23Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:28Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:30I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:35The point is we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:38on the same day.
00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:46I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year,
00:06:00then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:09Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church to pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:16I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:21Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Mm-hmm.
00:06:36Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:39but it's about sex.
00:06:42Mm-hmm.
00:06:44I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Mm-hmm.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus,
00:06:57and I wanted to see his thing,
00:06:59but there was nothing there.
00:07:01Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:10Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:18I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:07:20if you know what I mean.
00:07:21All the way.
00:07:22Go all the way.
00:07:23What are you?
00:07:24What's it?
00:07:25Ah!
00:07:26Ah!
00:07:27How could you do so?
00:07:28You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:30What?
00:07:31Yes!
00:07:32Yes!
00:07:33Run!
00:07:34Run!
00:07:35Home run!
00:07:36Ah!
00:07:37Damn it!
00:07:38Fucking Yankees.
00:07:39Sorry.
00:07:40Sorry.
00:08:08Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend, on our birthday.
00:08:36Do what?
00:08:39It, screw, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs, shagging, fucking.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:20Hey, Frank!
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:28Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:40Um, I was wondering.
00:09:41We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthdays.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at my shore?
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:48Sure.
00:09:49Sure.
00:09:49Sure.
00:09:49Sure.
00:09:50Sure.
00:09:50Sure.
00:09:51Sure.
00:09:51Sure.
00:09:51Sure.
00:09:52Sure.
00:09:52Sure.
00:09:53Sure.
00:09:53Sure.
00:09:54Sure.
00:09:55Sure.
00:09:55Sure.
00:09:56Sure.
00:09:57Well, the house looks done.
00:10:01Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:03We finally turn 18.
00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:07Well, we better get our beady sleep, because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, OK, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake.
00:10:14And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:17To pop your chair.
00:10:18It's easy.
00:10:19I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:23What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:41Chris?
00:10:42Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:47I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:49No.
00:10:50Chris is perfect.
00:10:51He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:54Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:55It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:07With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:17Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:27I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:41You're so perfect.
00:12:11I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:36Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:55Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:09Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:25Undo.
00:13:30Oh my gosh.
00:13:32They're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:38Ew!
00:13:39Why?
00:13:40If it's for Jake to unwrap me, it's going to be really sexy.
00:13:43It's unanimous.
00:13:45You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him!
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ. Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:00not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:08Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:15Oh, what a cool bracelet! I love it!
00:14:18Um...
00:14:19You should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:21Very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:24Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:28Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:31I thought so.
00:14:50Whoa!
00:14:51Whoa!
00:14:52Hold up.
00:14:54Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:55Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts!
00:14:57Nice!
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:10No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:12Yes.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:15but be careful it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:22I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:23Please come here.
00:15:29Poster, such a cutie.
00:15:32Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:34All right, sorry.
00:15:35Are you OK now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:37OK.
00:15:37We'll see you later.
00:15:38I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Jake.
00:15:45Hi.
00:15:46Hey, Ben.
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:51Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:57No.
00:16:02Oh, hon.
00:16:03Come here.
00:16:07I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:12You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:20Hey, bro.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:24Oh, a bet.
00:16:28All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hi.
00:16:38Hey, guys.
00:16:39Hey, buddy.
00:16:40I'll be right back.
00:16:42Hey, buddy.
00:16:44Check it out.
00:16:45Oh, dude. Look at those. Are those real? Have you guys seen Cheryl? Hey, dude, move. I'm lame.
00:17:07Oh, all right. Okay. I'll see you guys later. Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Oh, the booze. 20 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:18They're fake anyways. Who cares? Okay.
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude. I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday. Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no. Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36Come on. I win.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper? I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake? I haven't seen him anywhere. It just, like, disappeared.
00:17:51Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:07How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:09I don't know. Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something. Maybe upstairs. I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present. That's probably where he went.
00:18:22Go roll.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:29Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never. I can go meet around.
00:18:40Sue? Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just eyes.
00:18:47Okay, nothing to be scared of. Seriously.
00:18:49It's going to be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:50Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No, he does not have gateways.
00:19:01I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm going to do it.
00:19:09Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:12No, he does not have gateways.
00:19:15I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm going to do it.
00:19:17I'm going to do this.
00:19:19Good luck.
00:19:20Hey, you can do this.
00:19:24Just act like a slut.
00:19:28Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:41Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:47In private?
00:19:48No.
00:19:50Oh, hey, Lexi.
00:20:02Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:09Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:15And I really want to...
00:20:18Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:20Is that wrong?
00:20:21Sue!
00:20:21What's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue...
00:20:29Sue...
00:20:29I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46You do?
00:20:47I do.
00:20:48I really do.
00:20:49It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:00That man.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth.
00:21:38Growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:45I just feel such compassion.
00:21:48I think about those things too.
00:21:50So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:54Not really.
00:21:56I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:06So...
00:22:08We're going to go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're going to tell you three months.
00:22:19Hey, hi.
00:22:20Whoa!
00:22:22Can you see him, Jake?
00:22:24No.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25All right.
00:22:26Focus, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:37Oh, there he is.
00:22:41Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:43How could he?
00:23:00Sue, what happened?
00:23:02Did you guys do it?
00:23:04Sue?
00:23:05He doesn't want me.
00:23:07Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not.
00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:13The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:23:17you.
00:23:18Look, the only way you were going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:23:23what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:23:27What?
00:23:28Come with me.
00:23:30Where?
00:23:31To meet your dark side.
00:23:32Let's go.
00:23:33Let's go.
00:23:33Let's go.
00:23:34Let's go.
00:23:35Let's go.
00:23:36Let's go.
00:23:37Let's go.
00:23:38Out.
00:23:39Everyone out.
00:23:40Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:23:54I really can't.
00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:14I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:19Sue?
00:24:21Can you see it?
00:24:22Sue?
00:24:23I'm almost, I'm almost there.
00:24:35What?
00:24:37What?
00:24:38Sue, what happened?
00:24:39What did you see?
00:24:40A raccoon?
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it.
00:24:44Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:52I can't.
00:24:53Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:55Okay, fine.
00:24:56Fine.
00:24:57I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:00What?
00:25:01You really need an orgasm.
00:25:03Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:25:07never even had it with yourself.
00:25:09This really has to be your first step.
00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:12Coming.
00:25:13Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:15Just find it and use it.
00:25:16Wait.
00:25:17What does a black vibrator look like?
00:25:18It's black.
00:25:19It vibrates.
00:25:20Come on, Rod.
00:25:21Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:22And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:28Hey, cutie, cutie.
00:25:29Boozeye!
00:25:30Oh, yeah!
00:25:31Oh, yeah.
00:25:32natural laughter
00:25:33Bang.
00:25:34Bang.
00:25:35Bang.
00:25:36Bang.
00:25:37Bang!
00:25:38Bang!
00:25:39Bang!
00:25:40Bang!
00:25:41Bang!
00:25:42Bang!
00:25:43Bang!
00:25:44Bang!
00:25:45Bang!
00:25:46Bang!
00:25:47Bang!
00:25:48Bang!
00:25:49Bang!
00:25:50Bang!
00:25:52Yeah!
00:25:53Oh, yeah!
00:25:54Oh, yeah!
00:25:55Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:56Hey, cutie.
00:25:57Oh, yeah!
00:25:57Good boy. Straighten up.
00:26:00Good boy. Good boy.
00:26:03He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:06I'm sorry. I can't see anything.
00:26:08That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:10What a bitch.
00:26:12Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:27Oh, shit.
00:26:43What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:57Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:08Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:11He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:14For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:18so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:23No, it's awful.
00:27:25I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:32It's a text. It's from him.
00:27:34I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:37He's looking for you.
00:27:39He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:41Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:43I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:44No, you can't just leave.
00:27:46Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:49I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:51No.
00:27:52He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:54Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:56I see only one option.
00:27:59I'm leaving.
00:28:00Revenge sex.
00:28:01Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:03It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:10Revenge sex.
00:28:12Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:14Revenge sex?
00:28:15Revenge sex.
00:28:16Revenge sex.
00:28:17Revenge sex.
00:28:18Revenge sex.
00:28:19But he, I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:22He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:23I mean, why would, he's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:27Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:30To his ego.
00:28:31To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:35Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:40No, I couldn't.
00:28:42Plus, I mean, there's, there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:46Eric.
00:28:47He's perfect.
00:28:48Eric Hall?
00:28:49Are you kidding?
00:28:50I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:52He likes your type.
00:28:54Really?
00:28:54And what type is that?
00:28:56Slutty.
00:28:58Yeah.
00:28:59Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:00I fooled around with him once.
00:29:01He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:03Oh, no.
00:29:04I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:07Okay, then.
00:29:08Fine.
00:29:08We will find someone else.
00:29:10Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:16Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:18I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:21No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:23Fine.
00:29:23If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:31and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:33and you chose not to do it,
00:29:35go ahead.
00:29:36But honestly,
00:29:37I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:40I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly,
00:29:44I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:47I don't know.
00:29:48I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:49Trust me.
00:29:50It's going to work.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01You're okay enough to chat with her.
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:03Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:19Thanks.
00:30:33Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:46So,
00:30:47happy birthday.
00:30:51Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:59America?
00:31:01United States?
00:31:02I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:09I know where we live.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:12Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:31:18Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no.
00:31:21I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:23No.
00:31:23You're fine.
00:31:24Jake!
00:31:36Jake!
00:31:39So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:41Oh.
00:31:42I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:44What?
00:31:44Um...
00:31:44It.
00:31:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:52Oh.
00:31:53Oh.
00:31:53You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:00Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:06I mean...
00:32:10Whew.
00:32:11Uh...
00:32:11It's just...
00:32:14You're so...
00:32:15You're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:19Um...
00:32:19Hmm?
00:32:21Uh, no kissing.
00:32:22Right.
00:32:24Um...
00:32:24Of course.
00:32:26Sorry?
00:32:29So, um...
00:32:31Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:34Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:50Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:52Uh, so the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:56Um...
00:32:57Uh...
00:32:57Where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end is...
00:33:01I just, like, right over here.
00:33:01Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:02That's where I see it.
00:33:03Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:05Got it.
00:33:06Uh...
00:33:06Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Oh, sorry.
00:33:08Sorry, sorry.
00:33:09I, um...
00:33:10It's...
00:33:10It's okay.
00:33:11Do it again.
00:33:14Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:15I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:21Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31Just, um, fill it.
00:33:33Let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez.
00:33:38Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:40Help me.
00:33:40Help.
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:45Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:34:03How you doing tonight?
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:07Jake, I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14I need another beer.
00:34:15Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:18Sorry, we're...
00:34:18Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Hold on.
00:34:22I'll take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24How much beer?
00:34:24I'll take a piss.
00:34:54Let me just get the blinds.
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:58Don't worry about it.
00:34:59What?
00:35:00I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, OK.
00:35:07OK.
00:35:22Finally.
00:35:23I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:28Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:35Oh.
00:35:37Well, OK.
00:35:38OK.
00:35:53Oh, OK.
00:35:55Oh, OK.
00:35:58Oh, OK.
00:36:00Oh, OK.
00:36:03Oh, OK.
00:36:04I don't know.
00:36:05OK.
00:36:06Oh, OK.
00:36:07OK.
00:36:08Oh, OK.
00:36:12What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:33Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:42It's so good.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:47Yep.
00:36:48Oh, my God.
00:36:50Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:51What?
00:36:51What?
00:36:52What?
00:36:52Ah.
00:36:53Oh.
00:36:54Ah, dear.
00:36:56Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:57Is that even a thing?
00:36:59I don't know.
00:37:01Ah.
00:37:03Are you okay?
00:37:06No, no, no, no.
00:37:07It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:09I'm just embarrassed.
00:37:11It's probably TMJ or fracture or swelling.
00:37:18You sure you're okay?
00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:21Okay, great.
00:37:22Have fun.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:28Now.
00:37:29Now, let's do it now.
00:37:30No, no, not yet.
00:37:31Not yet.
00:37:34All right, I'm gonna come.
00:37:35I'm gonna come.
00:37:36Not yet, not yet.
00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:39No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:40Lexi!
00:37:41Lexi!
00:37:41Oh, shit!
00:37:43Oh.
00:37:46Oh, no, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:47Lexi!
00:37:48Lexi!
00:37:49Oh, shit!
00:37:50Oh.
00:37:51No means no.
00:37:52Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time, and I just, I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:37:59Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:06How you doing?
00:38:09How's it going?
00:38:11Good.
00:38:12Eric?
00:38:13Help me.
00:38:14Eric, help me.
00:38:15I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:17Excuse me.
00:38:21Cheryl's in here.
00:38:27Sup, bro?
00:38:28What the...
00:38:29What the fuck is...
00:38:31Hey, wait!
00:38:34Lex.
00:38:35Wait, I'm still waiting.
00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:43I can't see.
00:38:44I'm blind.
00:38:46Damn it.
00:38:47I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:50Hey, you!
00:38:52You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:38:54or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:56Ow!
00:38:58I'm so sorry!
00:38:59I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:01Hey!
00:39:02Hey!
00:39:03Hey!
00:39:04Hey!
00:39:05Hey!
00:39:06Hey!
00:39:07Hey!
00:39:08Hey!
00:39:09Hey!
00:39:10Hey!
00:39:11Hey!
00:39:13Hey!
00:39:14Hey you!
00:39:15Hey!
00:39:16Hey,
00:39:31Hey!
00:39:32Yeah!
00:39:36This just isn't working out.
00:39:39Nothing.
00:39:40What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:39:45Lock your character, man.
00:39:46Lock your sticks.
00:39:47Spark it up!
00:39:49Yes!
00:39:50Oh, man!
00:39:54I love this game!
00:39:55We're in the controllers.
00:39:56We gotta play.
00:39:57Here, here, here.
00:39:58Okay, let me find another one.
00:40:02Whoa!
00:40:04Look at this!
00:40:05Oh, my God!
00:40:07Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:40:09Get that thing away!
00:40:10Jesus!
00:40:18Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:20Wasn't me?
00:40:26Whoa, whoa!
00:40:27Nice!
00:40:28Are you sitting there or something?
00:40:30Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:33Nice!
00:40:34Nice!
00:40:46Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:48Whoa!
00:40:49You are the controller!
00:40:50No!
00:40:51I just...
00:40:52I didn't...
00:40:53I swear...
00:40:54I...
00:40:55I...
00:40:56I...
00:40:57I...
00:40:58I...
00:40:59I...
00:41:00I...
00:41:01I...
00:41:02I...
00:41:03I...
00:41:04I...
00:41:05I...
00:41:06I...
00:41:07I...
00:41:08I...
00:41:09Hey, Sue!
00:41:10Hey, Sue!
00:41:11Come on, man!
00:41:12It's okay.
00:41:13Um...
00:41:14Hey, Sue!
00:41:15All right, all right.
00:41:17Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:19What's going on, man?
00:41:22It's all right.
00:41:23Hey, Sue.
00:41:34Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:36Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:41:39Oh, sure.
00:41:41Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:46You were?
00:41:48You mean...
00:41:50Yeah.
00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:56Could we go get a drink?
00:42:01Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:42:05You know what, I gotta go.
00:42:08Um, happy birthday.
00:42:09Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:42:11I didn't...
00:42:12Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:25This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:27Never going to have sex.
00:42:29Ow.
00:42:39Hello?
00:42:40A little attention here.
00:42:41Oh, yeah.
00:42:42Sorry.
00:42:43Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:44Oh, right.
00:42:45Sorry.
00:42:47Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:48Oh, right.
00:42:49Sorry.
00:42:50Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:52Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:42:59Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:01Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:03Oh, jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:22Screw it.
00:43:33Ah!
00:43:45Ah!
00:43:53Ah, ah, ah!
00:44:00Oh, oh!
00:44:03No, that was bad.
00:44:06That was so bad.
00:44:19Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:25I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:30Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:33Yes, it does.
00:44:36So, you're JJ?
00:44:37Uh-uh.
00:44:38It's me, come on.
00:44:39It's a man taking this one through.
00:44:41It's true.
00:44:41Yes, I'm completely concerned.
00:44:42Come and freeze after me.
00:44:44Hello.
00:44:45Hello.
00:44:46Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:44:50Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:44:51A nun.
00:44:52Please punch in your credit card number.
00:44:54Please hold.
00:44:55Oh, my goodness.
00:44:561-900-CONFESS.
00:44:57How may I be of service?
00:44:58I'm sorry.
00:44:59I'm sorry.
00:45:00I'm sorry.
00:45:01I'm sorry.
00:45:02I'm sorry.
00:45:03I'm sorry.
00:45:04I'm sorry.
00:45:05I'm sorry.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:07Please hold.
00:45:08Oh, my goodness.
00:45:091-900-CONFESSION.
00:45:10How may I be of service?
00:45:12It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day?
00:45:29Is that too long?
00:45:30I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:37Go on.
00:45:38Uh, okay.
00:45:40OK, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:48A washing machine touched her.
00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.
00:45:55All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:56What?
00:45:57But what do I do?
00:45:58Just unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:03Well, then be happy.
00:46:05You found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious.
00:46:08Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady.
00:46:10So I'll tell you this.
00:46:13Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:16No contritions?
00:46:18You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:20It's not in the Bible.
00:46:22So the washing machine could touch me any time?
00:46:25Morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:28Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:31Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:36Huh.
00:46:37God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:39He sure is.
00:46:40Now run along.
00:46:44Wow.
00:46:45How do you know all that?
00:46:48Because I'm a nun.
00:46:49Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:52Huh.
00:46:52Accidental masturbation.
00:46:54Who would've think?
00:46:55Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot.
00:47:07God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:11Yeah, I admit it.
00:47:12I've got no game.
00:47:13I guess I'm scared of getting laid, I guess.
00:47:15I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:20Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:24Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:27You go, girl.
00:47:28What?
00:47:29What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:33We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:38Yeah?
00:47:39If you want someone great.
00:47:40I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:46Frank, the blind guy.
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:53I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:55It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:58It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:01Everything.
00:48:04If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:07All right.
00:48:14What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:17Oh, yeah.
00:48:18I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:21I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:24It's Jones.
00:48:25Jeremy Jones.
00:48:27This all makes sense.
00:48:28Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:32Hi.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:35Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:37You'll meet her.
00:48:37We'll have to be here in like an hour.
00:48:39Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:48Hey, Frank.
00:48:49Sit.
00:48:50Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:49:04Relax.
00:49:05You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:09Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed, I'm fine.
00:49:21Then why are you biting your nail?
00:49:22I'm not.
00:49:23How did you know that?
00:49:28Yeah.
00:49:28Stay.
00:49:29Hey.
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:31Sit.
00:49:32Roll over.
00:49:33Oh, you mean me.
00:49:33Roll over.
00:49:34Oh, you mean me.
00:49:34Oh, how do you, how do you want me to...
00:49:36Just lie down.
00:49:37Hey, I'll...
00:49:38just lie down.
00:49:38You want me...
00:49:39Oh.
00:49:40Oh.
00:49:41Oh.
00:49:42Oh.
00:49:43Okay.
00:49:44Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me?
00:49:49Oh, how do you...
00:49:51How do you want me to...
00:49:52Just lay down.
00:50:04Oh, oh.
00:50:05I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:50:08I'm considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:14Oh.
00:50:17See me with your hands.
00:50:22Alright.
00:50:23Uh...
00:50:30You know, I should really...
00:50:31I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:44Mmm, peanut butter.
00:51:02Frank, Frank.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:07Oh, Frank.
00:51:14Oh.
00:51:15Okay.
00:51:17Oh, you're lying.
00:51:18No, you're lying.
00:51:19I want this.
00:51:20You know, you're lying.
00:51:21No, I'm not.
00:51:22No, I'm not.
00:51:23I'm not.
00:51:24No, I'm not.
00:51:25I'm not.
00:51:26I'm not.
00:51:27I'm not.
00:51:28Yo, ma'am.
00:51:32Yo, gimme a chip.
00:51:34My chips, one boy.
00:51:36Yo, gimme a chip, ma'am.
00:51:37My chips.
00:51:38Yo, my chip.
00:51:39Yo, gimme a chip.
00:51:41My chips?
00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:46Sorry.
00:51:54It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:02No, let me do this.
00:52:03Go ahead.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:05No, I got it.
00:52:06No, really, please.
00:52:07I want to help.
00:52:10Okay, everybody out.
00:52:12Leave.
00:52:13I have to back you.
00:52:14You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:28I just, I see some dust over here.
00:52:31So, it's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38This is a dirty floor.
00:52:40You're such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:45Yes.
00:52:46No.
00:52:47No.
00:52:48No.
00:52:49No.
00:52:50Oh, no.
00:52:51No.
00:52:52No.
00:52:53No.
00:52:54Oh.
00:52:55No.
00:52:56Oh.
00:52:58Oh, no.
00:52:59No.
00:53:00Oh.
00:53:02Oh.
00:53:03Okay.
00:53:04Oh, yeah.
00:53:05Oh, I think I got all that.
00:53:08I'm just going to see you at home.
00:53:16We got it.
00:53:17Oh, here we go.
00:53:19Frankie.
00:53:21Oh, my.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Ah, fucking shit.
00:53:26Man, we got a smoke.
00:53:27Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:33Oh, shit.
00:53:35Oh, sorry, man.
00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39You want to join us?
00:53:40Uh, no, I might.
00:53:41Come on, you got to do it.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:44Seriously, guys, I need to go back.
00:53:45What's the dog, man?
00:53:46Dude, what's it like being blinded?
00:53:47It's trippy.
00:53:52Frank?
00:53:54Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:53:58Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:02Thanks, man.
00:54:03Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:04I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:15Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:16This is some good shit.
00:54:17Oh, no, you're the devil.
00:54:37No more.
00:54:39JJ, Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:48Please.
00:54:48Lex, I can't.
00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:56It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect.
00:55:23I don't want to do it.
00:55:34Let's do it.
00:55:35Fuck me.
00:55:36Fuck me now.
00:55:37What?
00:55:42What's wrong?
00:55:43I can't.
00:55:44I can't get it in.
00:55:46Just try down there.
00:55:47It's like desert down there.
00:55:49It's sandpaper.
00:55:51Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:53Just try it again.
00:55:56No.
00:55:57Why is this happening?
00:55:59We fooled around before.
00:56:01I was dripping wet.
00:56:02I came like four times, remember?
00:56:04Just do what you did then.
00:56:05Go on.
00:56:06I already did my thing.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:09What?
00:56:10What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:12I don't know.
00:56:14Last time, I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:22You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:26How can you not be JJ?
00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:32We're not done here.
00:56:34I can still do this.
00:56:35I just need a little bit of fork.
00:56:36What?
00:56:36I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:38I don't need anyone else.
00:56:40We can do this.
00:56:42Go team.
00:56:46What?
00:56:48Just keep going.
00:56:49Oh.
00:56:52Jeremy.
00:56:53Are you ready?
00:56:54Shit.
00:56:56Jeremy.
00:56:58Where's Jeremy?
00:57:05What?
00:57:06Tilly.
00:57:07We were just, you know.
00:57:10Hey, babe.
00:57:11Just working out.
00:57:15How could you?
00:57:17You bastard.
00:57:20You might want to.
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:25Ah! Mariela! Mariela!
00:57:31You know, those aren't mine. At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:41What is wrong with you? You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well, no more. That's it. Really, that's the last one.
00:57:55Shh.
00:57:59Shh.
00:58:01Come on.
00:58:19Cheryl?
00:58:21What is it? What are you doing down here?
00:58:27Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:31What?
00:58:32Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
00:58:37Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:45I'm sorry. It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway? Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:02You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:06Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah.
00:59:12You know, you might wanna...
00:59:14You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:20I know.
00:59:26I'm sorry. I'm so...
00:59:29I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:34I got no game.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:48Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:57No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:59Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:00:01No, no, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it up to you.
01:00:08Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:14Eric, I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:20But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime. Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:31Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:00:35Well, no, not really.
01:00:39Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:41Okay. All right. I, uh...
01:00:49Happy birthday, then.
01:01:01Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:03Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:27Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:32Oh, God damn it. Not again.
01:01:33Oh, no, um...
01:01:35You know, honey, happy...
01:01:37What the fuck is this? Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:45Cheryl. Baby. What is this?
01:01:49Aw, jeez, Cheryl. You're...
01:01:52I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:55Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:57You couldn't find me?
01:01:59What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:04Cheryl, honey.
01:02:05No, no.
01:02:06We can work this out.
01:02:07Baby, I love you.
01:02:09Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:10Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please. I promise.
01:02:12No, Jake, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:14Cheryl, come on.
01:02:15No, Jake, please, please.
01:02:16Just go, just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:19You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do...
01:02:23Yay! You did it.
01:02:25I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:28You left him under your shell of a man.
01:02:30Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38It all makes sense now.
01:02:40Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:43Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:45Cheryl, I really liked you. And you used me.
01:02:51Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:02:55Aren't you happy?
01:02:58Well, no, that's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:03:01You mean the sex? Was it?
01:03:03Yeah?
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:08Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy. Or guys.
01:03:12No surprise.
01:03:13Anyway.
01:03:14We better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:03:16I wonder how soon did.
01:03:17I wonder how soon did.
01:03:18I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:03:32God!
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Oh!
01:03:36Dude, suck it!
01:03:37What the?
01:03:38I'm out of here!
01:03:40Yeah!
01:03:41He has good hair, though.
01:03:42Don't you pukes on me.
01:03:43Don't pukes on my car, either.
01:03:46Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:03:49Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:03:51I don't think so. Not with the guy, anyway.
01:03:52Oh, don't ask. Every possible object. It's like every mechanical thing. It was like transformers. They just all became vibrators.
01:03:58I told you. It's addicting. So what about Chris?
01:04:01Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:04:02I told you he was gay.
01:04:03No.
01:04:04No.
01:04:05No.
01:04:06No.
01:04:07No.
01:04:08No.
01:04:09No.
01:04:10No.
01:04:11No.
01:04:12No.
01:04:13No.
01:04:14No.
01:04:15No.
01:04:16No.
01:04:17No.
01:04:18No.
01:04:19No.
01:04:20No.
01:04:21No.
01:04:22No.
01:04:23No.
01:04:24No.
01:04:25No.
01:04:26No.
01:04:27No.
01:04:28No.
01:04:29No.
01:04:30No.
01:04:31No.
01:04:32No.
01:04:33No.
01:04:34The same thing to make you alive is the guilt I tell like changed was gay.
01:04:38I told you he was gay.
01:04:39No.
01:04:40Well, I think I'm just, oh, cramp.
01:04:41Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:42So wait.
01:04:43None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:48So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:50You want to go?
01:04:51No, thank you.
01:04:52I think I should finish up here.
01:04:54Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:57No.
01:04:58I don't know for some reason I just realized he needs to be my first or something
01:05:05why do you know him sort of oh well hey if you happen to run into him tell him I'd like to see
01:05:12him again
01:05:13love him shut it you want to do it I don't want to hear it from you I want to get married
01:05:23you want to do it all right
01:05:24um no no way
01:05:54oh well there's always next year
01:06:24it's you I've been waiting for you JJ
01:06:37I don't know
01:06:39I don't know
01:06:41I don't know
01:06:43I don't know
01:06:45you're
01:06:47you're
01:06:49you're
01:06:51you're
01:07:53And his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah.
01:07:54Even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:59Whose?
01:08:00Eric's.
01:08:01It's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:08I have to go see him.
01:08:10Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:261-900-confess.
01:08:29Sister Therese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon.
01:08:32There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:37Oh, sure.
01:08:39It's 271.
01:08:41Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:50Take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon.
01:08:53Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:04Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:09:08Sister?
01:09:09Can I get up now?
01:09:11I really got to pee.
01:09:12No!
01:09:13Hush your trap!
01:09:16Okay, honey.
01:09:17I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:09:20I will.
01:09:22Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:29Mwahahahaha!
01:09:42Eric, wait!
01:09:48Cheryl?
01:09:51Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:07Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:17I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these pink-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:22Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh, wow.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:33Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?
01:10:42Yeah, sure.
01:10:49Oh, sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:52No, kissing.
01:10:53Oh.
01:10:53Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:18I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:28She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:32I wonder who it was.
01:11:33At least this birthday's over.
01:11:54Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.
01:12:12I don't know.
01:12:42Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:48Um, yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to.
01:12:52Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:56Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:21I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:13:27Jesus.
01:13:29Really?
01:13:31Si.
01:13:33Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:35Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:36Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:37Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:38Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:39Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:40Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:41Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:42Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:43Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:44Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:45Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:46Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:47Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:48Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:49Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:50Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:51Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:52Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:53Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:54Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:55Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:56Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:57Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:58Maybe I could use the ride.
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