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Good Girls Gone Wild #ReelShort
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
Transcript
00:00:00Music
00:00:11Music
00:00:21Oh, Dad.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:17Come on, Lexi.
00:01:35So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:58Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:03No.
00:02:03Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06I have a date.
00:02:08So do I.
00:02:10Sorry, Sue.
00:02:11Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:12We'll figure it out.
00:02:24Oh, flowers.
00:02:25Are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:29No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:33I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:36I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake.
00:02:49Not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be.
00:02:55I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing.
00:02:58With you and me.
00:03:00Together.
00:03:08Jake, no.
00:03:09I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:12You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:15but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:17Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29Okay.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:39Nothing.
00:03:39Nothing.
00:03:40Nothing.
00:03:41Oh, baby.
00:03:42You're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rod.
00:03:48Sex guy.
00:03:54Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:58You're right, I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:14Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:28I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy, and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 28th, maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:04:58I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal.
00:05:23Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:09Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church to pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:28Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:40It's about sex.
00:06:42Mm-hmm.
00:06:44I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Aw.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:00Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:24What?
00:07:25What?
00:07:25What?
00:07:26What?
00:07:26What?
00:07:27Ah!
00:07:27Ah!
00:07:28Ah!
00:07:29How could you do this?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:37Ah!
00:07:37Ah!
00:07:38Ah!
00:07:39Ah!
00:07:39Ah!
00:07:40Ah!
00:07:41Ah!
00:07:42Ah!
00:07:43Ah!
00:07:43Ah!
00:07:44Ah!
00:07:45Ah!
00:07:46Ah!
00:07:47Ah!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:49Ah!
00:07:50Ah!
00:07:51Ah!
00:07:51Ah!
00:07:51Ah!
00:07:52Ah!
00:07:52Ah!
00:07:55Ah!
00:07:55Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:19What do you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:22Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend, on our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41Screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs, you know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:49You do.
00:08:50Uh, but what about all your religious stuff, and um, what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign, at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:58Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:04So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:13Hey, Frank!
00:09:15Oh, hi, Sue.
00:09:16Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:18I don't know.
00:09:19Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:20Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:21Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:23Wait, are you back?
00:09:25Hey.
00:09:26Um, I was wondering.
00:09:27We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:28It's for our birthdays.
00:09:29Do you want to come?
00:09:30Do you think he can see at my shore?
00:09:31Yeah.
00:09:32I don't know.
00:09:33Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:34I don't know.
00:09:35Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:36Yeah.
00:09:37He's blind.
00:09:38Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:40Wait, are you back?
00:09:41Hey.
00:09:42Um, I was wondering.
00:09:43We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthdays.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at my shore?
00:09:48Well, the house looks done.
00:10:01Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:03We finally turn 18.
00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:07Well, we better get our beady sleep,
00:10:09because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, OK, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:13Jake.
00:10:14And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But, Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chair?
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:25What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:41Chris?
00:10:43Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:47I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:49No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:55Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:00What?
00:11:01He does not.
00:11:02Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:04He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:06With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:10Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:12Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:15Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:17See you in the morning.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:26I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:49You're so perfect.
00:12:19I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:34Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:55Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:08Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:25Oh, my gosh.
00:13:30They're coming.
00:13:32Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:39It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:41It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:42It's unministered.
00:13:43You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46He's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:47It's stupid.
00:13:48Just screw him.
00:13:49That's what he wants.
00:13:50That's what all guys want.
00:13:51Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:53Oh, Christ.
00:13:54Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:56Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:13:59not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:01You're an idiot.
00:14:02A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Seriously, come on.
00:14:08Hurry up.
00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:19You should put that down, though,
00:14:20because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:21Very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Set it down.
00:14:24Hurry up.
00:14:28Those were your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:31Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:32Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:14:33Nice.
00:14:34Nice.
00:14:35Ha ha ha!
00:14:37It's hot.
00:14:38Whoa!
00:14:39Whoa!
00:14:40Whoa!
00:14:41Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:42Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:14:44Nice!
00:14:45Ha ha ha ha ha!
00:14:46Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:55Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:14:57Nice.
00:14:58Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:07Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:12That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:15but be careful, it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible miscellaneous.
00:15:19Oh, how did you know?
00:15:21I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:28Poster, such a cutie.
00:15:31Please don't touch my service, Dad.
00:15:33All right, sorry.
00:15:34Are you OK now?
00:15:35Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:37OK.
00:15:38We'll see you later.
00:15:40I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:42This is crazy.
00:15:43Jake.
00:15:44Hi.
00:15:45Hey, Ben.
00:15:46Happy birthday.
00:15:48Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:52What?
00:15:53You want a beer?
00:15:54No.
00:15:57Oh, hon.
00:15:58Come here.
00:16:00I have your present here.
00:16:01I'll give it to you later.
00:16:02The time's right.
00:16:03Oh.
00:16:04You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:05And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:07Hey, Ralph.
00:16:08We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:16:09Oh, I bet.
00:16:10All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:11Hey.
00:16:12Hey.
00:16:13How you doing?
00:16:14Hey.
00:16:15Check it out.
00:16:16Deremy.
00:16:18Deremy.
00:16:19Yeah.
00:16:20Oh, I'm sorry.
00:16:22I got a good job and wrap later.
00:16:24Hey, Ralph.
00:16:25We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:16:26Oh, I bet.
00:16:28All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:29Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:41Check it out.
00:16:43Dereme?
00:16:59Oh, dude, look at those. Are those real?
00:17:02Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:03Hey! I do! Move!
00:17:05I'm lame!
00:17:06Oh, all right. Okay. I'll see you guys later.
00:17:09Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:10Aw, the moves.
00:17:1120 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:17:13I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:15Yeah!
00:17:17They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:20Okay.
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday. Here, let me.
00:17:33Joanna, no. Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36Come on.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:17:50Are these real?
00:18:03Of course they are.
00:18:05How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:08I don't know. Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:18:10Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:11Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:14Maybe upstairs.
00:18:15I don't know.
00:18:16Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:19That's probably where you went.
00:18:21Go roll.
00:18:25Liquid courage?
00:18:26Yeah.
00:18:27Atta girl.
00:18:31Vodka cranberry?
00:18:32It's really simple.
00:18:33Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:37I can go meet around.
00:18:39Sue?
00:18:40Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just guys.
00:18:46Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:47Seriously.
00:18:48It's gonna be fine.
00:18:49Is Chris here?
00:18:50Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:57No.
00:18:58He does not have gay face.
00:19:00I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:02I'm gonna do it.
00:19:08Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:10No.
00:19:11He does not have gay face.
00:19:13I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:15I'm gonna do it.
00:19:16I'm gonna do this.
00:19:17Good luck.
00:19:18Good luck.
00:19:21Hey, you can do this.
00:19:23Just act like a slut.
00:19:27Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:41Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:44Uh-huh.
00:19:46In private?
00:19:47Oh.
00:19:48Hey, Lexi.
00:19:49Hey, Lexi.
00:19:50Hey, Lexi.
00:19:51What?
00:19:52Chris.
00:19:53You're so sexy.
00:19:55Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:19:58I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:00And I really want to...
00:20:01Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:02Is that wrong?
00:20:03Sue!
00:20:04What's gotten into you?
00:20:05Nothing.
00:20:06I'm sorry.
00:20:07I don't know how to do this.
00:20:08Sue.
00:20:09Sue.
00:20:10Sue.
00:20:11Sue.
00:20:12Sue.
00:20:13Sue.
00:20:14Sue.
00:20:15Sue.
00:20:16Sue.
00:20:17I understand these urges.
00:20:19And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:20I like you too.
00:20:21Really?
00:20:22You do?
00:20:23I do.
00:20:24I really do.
00:20:25I like you too.
00:20:26I do.
00:20:27Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:30Sue.
00:20:31I like you too.
00:20:32I really do.
00:20:33I like you too.
00:20:34Really?
00:20:35You do?
00:20:36I do.
00:20:37I really do.
00:20:38I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:41I do.
00:20:42I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:44Really?
00:20:45You do?
00:20:46I do.
00:20:47I really do.
00:20:48It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:55Right.
00:20:56Lexi said you were...
00:20:57Jesus.
00:20:58Oh.
00:20:59That man.
00:21:00Of course.
00:21:01What did you think?
00:21:02Oh.
00:21:03Nothing.
00:21:04So we can still do this then?
00:21:07Sue.
00:21:08You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about
00:21:19him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed
00:21:30over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty,
00:21:40under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:44I just feel such compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things too.
00:21:49So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:54I just find it too hard.
00:21:55It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04Yes.
00:22:05So...
00:22:06We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:07Andy, we're gonna tell him throw these on.
00:22:08Jake.
00:22:09Hey, Ty.
00:22:10Whoa!
00:22:11Can you see him, Jake?
00:22:12Uh, no.
00:22:13No.
00:22:14No.
00:22:15All right.
00:22:16Okay.
00:22:17All right.
00:22:18Focus.
00:22:19Focus.
00:22:20Focus.
00:22:21Focus.
00:22:22Focus.
00:22:23Focus.
00:22:24Oh, there he is.
00:22:37Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:43How could he?
00:22:56Sue, what happened?
00:23:01Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:04He doesn't want me.
00:23:06Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not.
00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:12The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:23:16you.
00:23:17Look.
00:23:18The only way you were gonna find out what kind of man you really want is to know what
00:23:23kind of woman you really are.
00:23:25Deep inside.
00:23:26What?
00:23:27Come with me.
00:23:28Where?
00:23:29To meet your dark side.
00:23:38Out.
00:23:39Everyone out.
00:23:41Sue.
00:23:42Sue.
00:23:43It's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:56I really can't.
00:23:57I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:08I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:11I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:16Sue?
00:24:17Sue?
00:24:18Can you see it?
00:24:19Sue?
00:24:20I'm almost...
00:24:21I'm almost there.
00:24:22What?
00:24:23What?
00:24:24Sue, what happened?
00:24:25What did you see?
00:24:26A raccoon?
00:24:27What?
00:24:28What?
00:24:29You overshot it.
00:24:30Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:34I can't.
00:24:35I can't.
00:24:36Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:37Okay.
00:24:38Fine.
00:24:39Fine.
00:24:40I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:41What?
00:24:42You really need an orgasm.
00:24:43Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:24:50never even had it with yourself.
00:24:51This really has to be your first step.
00:24:52Lex, I'm waiting.
00:24:53Coming.
00:24:54Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:24:55Just find it and use it.
00:24:56Wait.
00:24:57What does the black vibrator look like?
00:24:59It's black.
00:25:00It's black.
00:25:01It's black.
00:25:02It's black.
00:25:03It's black.
00:25:04It's black.
00:25:05It's black.
00:25:06It's black.
00:25:07It's black.
00:25:08It's black.
00:25:09It's black.
00:25:10It's black.
00:25:11It's black.
00:25:12It's black.
00:25:13I can't.
00:25:14I can't.
00:25:15Please don't make me do that again.
00:25:16Okay, fine.
00:25:17Fine.
00:25:18I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:19What?
00:25:20Wait.
00:25:21It's black.
00:25:22It vibrates.
00:25:23Come on, Rod.
00:25:25Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:28And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:42Hey, cutie!
00:25:43Cutie!
00:25:44Oh!
00:25:45Boozeye!
00:25:46Oh, yeah!
00:25:47Bang!
00:25:48Bang!
00:25:49Bang!
00:25:50Bang!
00:25:51Bang!
00:25:52Bang!
00:25:53Good boy.
00:25:54Straighten up.
00:25:55Good boy.
00:25:56Good boy.
00:25:57Good boy.
00:25:58He knows over a hundred commands.
00:25:59I'm sorry.
00:26:00I can't see anything.
00:26:01That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:02What a bitch.
00:26:03Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:04Ah!
00:26:05Ah!
00:26:06Ah!
00:26:07Ah!
00:26:08Ah!
00:26:09Ah!
00:26:10Ah!
00:26:11Ah!
00:26:12Ah!
00:26:13Ah!
00:26:14Ah!
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:16Ah!
00:26:17Ah!
00:26:18Ah!
00:26:19Ah!
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:21Ah!
00:26:22Ah!
00:26:23Ah!
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:25Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:33Ah!
00:26:34Ah!
00:26:35Ah!
00:26:36Ah!
00:26:37Ah!
00:26:38Ah!
00:26:39Ah!
00:26:40Ah!
00:26:41Ah!
00:26:42Ah!
00:26:43Ah!
00:26:44Ah!
00:26:45Ah!
00:26:46Ah!
00:26:47Ah!
00:26:48Ah!
00:26:49Ah!
00:26:50Ah!
00:26:51Ah!
00:26:52Ah!
00:26:53Ah!
00:26:54Ah!
00:26:55Ah!
00:26:56Ah!
00:26:57What is wrong?
00:27:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:24No, it's awful.
00:27:25I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:33It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:42Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:51No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:28:00I'm leaving.
00:28:01Revenge sex.
00:28:02Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:08But he... I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would...
00:28:23He's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me, he'll care. Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him. To his ego.
00:28:31To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:35Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:40No, I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's... there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:46Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:48Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:49Me? I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:54Really? And what type is that?
00:28:56Slutty.
00:28:58Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:03Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:07Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else.
00:29:10Someone that I haven't... fooled around with.
00:29:16Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:18I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:21No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:23Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:31and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it,
00:29:35go ahead.
00:29:36But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:40I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:46I don't know.
00:29:49Trust me.
00:29:50It's going to work.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01You're not okay enough to jab there.
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:03Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:17Thanks.
00:30:20Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:42So, happy birthday.
00:30:52Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:59America?
00:31:01United States?
00:31:03I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:09I know where we live.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:12Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:31:18Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no.
00:31:21I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:23No.
00:31:23You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:24You're fine.
00:31:35Jake!
00:31:38So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:41Oh.
00:31:42I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:44What, um...
00:31:45It.
00:31:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:52Oh.
00:31:53Oh.
00:31:53You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:02Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:06I mean...
00:32:10Whew.
00:32:11Uh...
00:32:11It's just...
00:32:14You're so...
00:32:16You're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:19Um...
00:32:19Hmm?
00:32:21Uh, no kissing.
00:32:23Right.
00:32:24Um, of course.
00:32:26Sorry.
00:32:28So, um...
00:32:30Do you want to un-rat me?
00:32:34Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:50Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:51So, the wrap.
00:32:53Uh, so the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:55Um...
00:32:56Uh...
00:32:57Where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end is...
00:33:01I just, like, right over here.
00:33:01Oh, oh, yeah.
00:33:02Here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:03That's where I see it.
00:33:03Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:05Got it.
00:33:06Uh...
00:33:06Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Oh, sorry.
00:33:08Sorry, sorry.
00:33:09I, um...
00:33:10It's...
00:33:10It's okay.
00:33:11Do it again.
00:33:14Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:21Okay.
00:33:21Uh...
00:33:22Let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31Just, um, fill it.
00:33:33Let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez.
00:33:38Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:47Oh, jeez.
00:33:48Oh, jeez.
00:33:49Well, that was stupid.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:34:03How you doing tonight?
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:07Jake!
00:34:08I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14I need another beer.
00:34:16Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:17Sorry, we're...
00:34:18Up!
00:34:19Stairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Hold on.
00:34:22I'll take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24I'm over.
00:34:24Oh, my God.
00:34:25Bad girl.
00:34:27Bad girl.
00:34:28Bad girl.
00:34:29Bad girl.
00:34:29Don't try to drink this way.
00:34:32Way, far, nothing more.
00:34:33I do it.
00:34:34It's bad girl.
00:34:35It's too late.
00:34:36It's too late.
00:34:36I do it.
00:34:37Oh.
00:34:38Uh-oh.
00:34:38Ah.
00:34:39Ah.
00:34:40Ah.
00:34:41Ah.
00:34:42Ah.
00:34:43Ah.
00:34:44Ah.
00:34:45Finally.
00:34:46I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:34:47Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:48Um, don't worry about it.
00:34:49What?
00:34:50I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:04Oh.
00:35:06Well, OK.
00:35:07OK.
00:35:08OK.
00:35:22Finally.
00:35:23I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:28Um, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:35Yeah.
00:35:36Oh.
00:35:37Well, OK.
00:35:38OK.
00:35:39OK.
00:35:51OK.
00:35:56OK.
00:35:57So,
00:35:58What are you doing?
00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:32Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh? Oh.
00:36:42It's so good.
00:36:44Oh.
00:36:46Yep.
00:36:47Oh, my God. Draw, draw, draw.
00:36:51What? What? What?
00:36:52Oh. Lockjaw, lockjaw.
00:36:57Is that even a thing?
00:36:59I don't know.
00:37:01Are you okay?
00:37:04No, no, no, no. It's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:09I'm just embarrassed.
00:37:11It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:17Are you sure you're okay?
00:37:19Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:20Okay, great. Have fun.
00:37:22Oh.
00:37:28Now. Now, let's do it now.
00:37:30No, not yet. Not yet.
00:37:32All right, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come.
00:37:35Are you ready?
00:37:36Oh.
00:37:37No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:39No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:40Lexi!
00:37:41Lexi!
00:37:42Oh!
00:37:46No, no, no. Not yet.
00:37:47Lexi!
00:37:48Lexi!
00:37:49Oh!
00:37:51No means no.
00:37:52Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:54I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time and I just I haven't been to masturbate for anything
00:38:22Cheryl's in here
00:38:25What's up, bro?
00:38:27What the fuck is...
00:38:29Hey, wait!
00:38:31Lex, babe, I'm still waiting
00:38:35Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind
00:38:41Damn it, I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch
00:38:45Hey, you!
00:38:47You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm gonna teach you what to do
00:38:51You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm gonna teach you a lesson
00:38:59I'm so sorry, I'll never make fun of the blind again
00:39:01I'm so sorry, I'll never make fun of the blind again
00:39:03I'm so sorry, I'll never make fun of the blind again
00:39:07How's that?
00:39:09How's that?
00:39:13He's done in my life
00:39:17And I'm so sorry, I didn't know
00:39:19How's that?
00:39:21I didn't know how much it was
00:39:23I didn't know how much it was
00:39:25I didn't know how much it was
00:39:27I don't want a water balloon.
00:39:28Sparty's ass.
00:39:32Yeah.
00:39:37This just isn't working out.
00:39:40Nothing.
00:39:41What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:39:45I'm careful, man.
00:39:46The lock sticks.
00:39:48Spark it up.
00:39:49All right.
00:39:50Yes.
00:39:53Oh, man.
00:39:54I love this game.
00:39:55We're going to the controllers.
00:39:56We got to play.
00:39:57Here, here, here.
00:39:58OK, let me find another one.
00:39:59All right, fly it on.
00:40:02Woo!
00:40:04Look at this.
00:40:05Oh, my God.
00:40:07Fuel, fuel, fuel.
00:40:08Whoa, man.
00:40:09Get that thing away.
00:40:10Jesus.
00:40:10Oh.
00:40:18Hey, dude.
00:40:18Nice shot.
00:40:20Wasn't me.
00:40:25Whoa, whoa, nice.
00:40:29Are you sitting in there or something?
00:40:32Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:33Nice, nice.
00:40:46Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:48Well, I've been with us.
00:40:50Come on, let me find another one.
00:40:51Yeah.
00:40:51Come on.
00:40:52Hi.
00:40:56Whoa.
00:41:00You are the controller.
00:41:02No, I just.
00:41:04I didn't.
00:41:05I swear.
00:41:06I.
00:41:08No.
00:41:09Whoa.
00:41:11Whoa.
00:41:11Whoa, whoa.
00:41:12Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:12Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:13Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:14All right, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa?
00:41:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:17Hey, hey, Sue.
00:41:19What's going on, man?
00:41:22It's okay.
00:41:23Hey, Sue.
00:41:34Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:36Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:38Oh, sure.
00:41:41Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:46You were?
00:41:48You mean...
00:41:50Yeah.
00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:57Could we go get a drink?
00:42:01Wow, your toilet's really...
00:42:04You know what?
00:42:07I gotta go.
00:42:08Happy birthday.
00:42:09No, Chris, no, there wasn't.
00:42:11I didn't...
00:42:12God, never mind.
00:42:13This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:28Never going to have sex.
00:42:29Ow.
00:42:49Hello?
00:42:50A little attention here.
00:42:53Oh, yeah.
00:42:53Sorry.
00:42:59Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:01All right.
00:43:03Sorry.
00:43:03Sorry.
00:43:03Oh, jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:23Screw it.
00:43:23Oops.
00:43:24Ochďż˝-o.
00:43:24I don't know.
00:43:30But I can't believe you.
00:43:32We've got to show you.
00:43:33And what?
00:43:33KAI're told.
00:43:34Oh.
00:43:34I can't believe you.
00:43:35I can't believe you're or duty.
00:43:38He has told you.
00:43:38I don't understand how to watch the world.
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:41He has told me.
00:43:41Oh, yeah.
00:43:42You're listening.
00:43:42I can't believe you're in the same place.
00:43:44Oh, yeah.
00:43:44What?
00:43:44I can't believe you're obsessed with me,
00:43:46maybe I want you to give a more house now and then you've been at home.
00:43:48No, that was bad.
00:44:06That was so bad.
00:44:18Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:23I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:28Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:33Yes, it does.
00:44:35So, you're JJ?
00:44:37Uh-oh.
00:44:48Hello. Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:45:03Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:13Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, my goodness.
00:45:181-900-CONFESSION. How may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day?
00:45:29Ow!
00:45:34Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:38Go on.
00:45:39Uh, okay. Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:43Well, actually, I didn't know. A washing machine did.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:47A washing machine touched her.
00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.
00:45:54All right, freak. Time's up.
00:45:56What? But what do I do?
00:45:57Just unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:02Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious.
00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:10I'll tell you this.
00:46:12Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:15No contritions?
00:46:17You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:19It's not in the Bible.
00:46:20So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:24Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:27Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:30Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:36Huh.
00:46:37God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:39He sure is.
00:46:40Now run along.
00:46:44Wow.
00:46:45How do you know all that?
00:46:47Because I'm a nun.
00:46:49Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:51Huh.
00:46:52Accidental masturbation.
00:46:54Who would've think?
00:47:04Revenge sex.
00:47:05What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:07God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:11Yeah, admit it.
00:47:12I've got no game.
00:47:13I guess I can skip it.
00:47:15I guess I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:20Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:24Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:26You go, girl.
00:47:28What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:33We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:37Yeah?
00:47:38If you want someone great.
00:47:40I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:46Frank.
00:47:47The blind guy?
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:52I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:54It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:58It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:04If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:07All right.
00:48:14What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:16Oh, yeah.
00:48:17I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:21I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:25Jeremy Jones.
00:48:27This all makes sense.
00:48:28Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:31Hi.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:34Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:36You'll meet her.
00:48:37We'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:38Wait.
00:48:39You have a girlfriend?
00:48:53Oh.
00:48:55Hey, Frank.
00:48:56Sit.
00:49:00Oh, you meant...
00:49:02You meant the dog.
00:49:05Relax.
00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:18Oh, I'm...
00:49:19I'm relaxed.
00:49:20I'm fine.
00:49:21Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:23I'm not.
00:49:27How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:34Sit.
00:49:36Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:43Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Oh, how do you...
00:49:51How do you want me to...
00:49:52Just lay down.
00:49:53You want me...
00:49:54Oh.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05Oh.
00:50:06I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:50:08Considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:14Oh.
00:50:17See me with your hands.
00:50:18Okay.
00:50:19All right.
00:50:20Uh...
00:50:30You know, I should really...
00:50:31I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:34Mmm.
00:50:35Peanut butter.
00:50:49Frank, Frank, oh, oh, Frank.
00:51:19Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank.
00:51:49Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank.
00:52:19Oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank.
00:52:25You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:29I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:33It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38It's a dirty floor.
00:52:40It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:45It's...
00:52:48Okay.
00:52:50I think I got all that.
00:53:07I'm just gonna, I'll see you home.
00:53:19Frankie!
00:53:21Oh my, oh!
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Ah, fucking shit!
00:53:25Man, we gotta smoke.
00:53:26Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:53:30Stop, Frank, stop teasing Frank!
00:53:33Oh, crap in the box!
00:53:34Sorry, man, we're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:37Oh, I heard something.
00:53:38You wanna join us?
00:53:39Uh, no, I might-
00:53:41Come on! You gotta do it! Come on!
00:53:43Seriously, guys, I need to go back.
00:53:44Watch it off, man!
00:53:45What's it like being blinded? It's trippy!
00:53:51Frank?
00:53:53Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:57Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:01Thanks, man.
00:54:02Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:04I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:05Dude!
00:54:06I haven't stopped smoking since junior high!
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:14Damn, I really can't remember!
00:54:15This is some good shit!
00:54:17Oh, no! You're the devil! No more!
00:54:34JJ, I'm Jeremy! You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you? Please!
00:54:49Lex, I can't. I mean, I got a girlfriend. I really like this girl.
00:54:54Fine!
00:54:56It's just so sad, because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties, with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09Oh!
00:55:14We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect!
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect!
00:55:23Let's do it!
00:55:25Let's do it!
00:55:26Fuck me!
00:55:27Fuck me now!
00:55:28What?
00:55:29What's wrong?
00:55:30I can't...
00:55:31I can't get it in.
00:55:32It's too dry down there.
00:55:33It's like desert down there.
00:55:34It's sandpaper.
00:55:35Okay, I get the picture!
00:55:36Just try it again.
00:55:38No!
00:55:39Why is this happening?
00:55:40We fooled around before.
00:55:42I was dripping wet.
00:55:44I came like four times, remember?
00:55:45Just do what you did then.
00:55:46Why?
00:55:47Wait, wait, wait.
00:55:48What?
00:55:49Oh!
00:55:50Fuck me!
00:55:51I'll be falling down!
00:55:52What?
00:55:53What's wrong?
00:55:54I can't...
00:55:55I can't...
00:55:56I can't get it in.
00:55:57Just...
00:55:58Try down there.
00:55:59It's like desert down there.
00:56:00It's sandpaper.
00:56:01I just...
00:56:02Okay, I get the picture!
00:56:03Just try it again.
00:56:04Just do what you did then.
00:56:05Go on.
00:56:06I already did my thing.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:09What?
00:56:10What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:13I don't know.
00:56:14Last time...
00:56:15I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:22You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:26How can you not be JJ?
00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:32We're not done here.
00:56:33I can still do this.
00:56:35I just need a little bit of work.
00:56:36I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:39I don't need anyone else.
00:56:40We can do this.
00:56:43Go team.
00:56:47What?
00:56:48Just keep going.
00:56:54Shit.
00:56:54Where's Jeremy?
00:57:05What?
00:57:07We were just...
00:57:08You know...
00:57:08Hey babe.
00:57:11Just working out.
00:57:12Oh.
00:57:16How could you?
00:57:17You bastard!
00:57:18You might want to...
00:57:22What?
00:57:23What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:27Ah!
00:57:29Mariela!
00:57:30Mariela!
00:57:31You know those aren't mine!
00:57:34At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:38What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well no more.
00:57:47That's it.
00:57:49Really.
00:57:49That's the last one.
00:57:50Come on.
00:58:01Come on.
00:58:01Mm-hmm.
00:58:19Cheryl?
00:58:24What is it?
00:58:26What are you doing down here?
00:58:28Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out
00:58:30and get far, far away from here?
00:58:32What?
00:58:32Why?
00:58:34Nothing, just this blind guy and his dog and ugh.
00:58:38Honey, it's gonna be OK.
00:58:40No, it's not OK.
00:58:43God.
00:58:44And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:46I'm sorry.
00:58:47It's Jake's.
00:58:48Jake's fault.
00:58:49That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:52Yes.
00:58:53He is such a dickwad.
00:58:54You need to confront him.
00:58:56Yeah.
00:58:57Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday,
00:59:00and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:03You know, you just call him here
00:59:04and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:06Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:07A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:09A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah.
00:59:12You know, you might want to...
00:59:15You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:19Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:20I know.
00:59:26I'm sorry.
00:59:28I'm sorry.
00:59:29I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:34I got no game.
00:59:35It's not important.
00:59:54Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:57No, no, no.
00:59:57I really need to talk to you.
00:59:59Really, Eric, I can't right now.
01:00:01No, no, no, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,
01:00:04and I'm just embarrassed, and I want to make it up to you.
01:00:08Eric, really?
01:00:09I don't care, it's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do.
01:00:12I mean, I do, I care.
01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you, maybe because, I don't know,
01:00:19I'm a little shy.
01:00:20But I was wondering, or hoping, that we
01:00:25could go out sometime soon, because I'm
01:00:28going to be leaving for a little while,
01:00:29and it would be nice to go out with a boy.
01:00:31Really, Eric, you're shy, you have no game.
01:00:35Well, no, not really.
01:00:39Yeah, no, I can't do this, sorry.
01:00:44OK, all right.
01:00:46I, uh, happy birthday, then.
01:00:58I'm, I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:11Wow.
01:01:12Here I come, baby.
01:01:25Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:30Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:31Um, we can't do this.
01:01:33Oh, god, baby, not again.
01:01:34Oh, no, um.
01:01:35Honey, happy.
01:01:38What the fuck is this?
01:01:39Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41OK, guys, don't.
01:01:46Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:50Aw, gee, Cheryl, you're, I've been looking for you all night,
01:01:55and you've been, oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:02:00What about all those girls' vaginas you were in,
01:02:02or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:05Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no.
01:02:07We can't work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:10Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:11Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:13I promise.
01:02:14No, Jake, I can't do this.
01:02:15I'm sorry.
01:02:16Oh, Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please, just go, just go, I'm sorry.
01:02:21You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do it?
01:02:24Ha, yay, you did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:29You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:31Revenge sex?
01:02:32It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38It all makes sense now.
01:02:41Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:43Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:02:47Cheryl, I really liked you, and you used me.
01:02:52Eric, please don't go.
01:02:53Please, Eric!
01:02:56Aren't you happy?
01:02:58Well, no, that's not exactly what it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:02You mean the sex?
01:03:03Was it?
01:03:03Yeah?
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:09Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:13Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:15People are starting to leave.
01:03:17I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:25Oh, what?
01:03:26Yes, yes, yes.
01:03:28I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:31This is bullshit.
01:03:32God damn it.
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Dude, suck it!
01:03:36What the?
01:03:37God, I'm out of here.
01:03:40Yeah!
01:03:41He has good hair, though.
01:03:46Don't you puked on me.
01:03:48Don't tease my car, either.
01:03:50Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:03Was it from sex?
01:04:04Did you pop your cork?
01:04:05Was it from sex?
01:04:07Did you pop your cork?
01:04:08I don't think so.
01:04:09Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:11Oh, don't ask.
01:04:12Every possible object.
01:04:14It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:16It was like transformers.
01:04:19They just all became vibrators.
01:04:20Ha!
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:22It's addicting.
01:04:23So what about Chris?
01:04:26Well, last time I saw him, he was running away
01:04:28through your life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:30Oh.
01:04:31Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:34Oh.
01:04:36Oh.
01:04:37I think it's broken.
01:04:38So wait.
01:04:39None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:42Ha!
01:04:43Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:47So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:50Can I go?
01:04:51No.
01:04:53I think I should finish up here.
01:04:55Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:57No.
01:04:59I don't know.
01:05:00For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why?
01:05:06Do you know him?
01:05:07Sort of.
01:05:08Oh.
01:05:09Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:11just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:17Love him.
01:05:19Shut it.
01:05:20You want to do it?
01:05:21I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:22I want to get married.
01:05:23You want to do it?
01:05:24All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
01:05:26Fuck.
01:05:47No.
01:05:48No way.
01:05:49No.
01:05:50No way.
01:05:51No way.
01:05:55Oh, well.
01:05:56There's always next year.
01:06:11No way.
01:06:12No way.
01:06:13No way.
01:06:14No way.
01:06:15No way.
01:06:16No way.
01:06:32It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you.
01:06:36JJ?
01:06:40Joanna!
01:07:46I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:59Who's?
01:08:00Eric's.
01:08:01It's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:07I have to go see him.
01:08:14Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:161-900-confess.
01:08:29Sister Therese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon.
01:08:32There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:37Oh, sure.
01:08:39It's 271.
01:08:41Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon.
01:08:53Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:04Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:09:08Sister?
01:09:08Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:11I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No!
01:09:13Hush your trap!
01:09:16Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:20I will.
01:09:22Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:29Mwahahahaha!
01:09:38Eric, wait!
01:09:48Cheryl?
01:09:51Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:08Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:17I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these pink-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:22Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh, wow.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:33Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days when I get back?
01:10:42Yeah, sure.
01:10:49Oh, sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:52No, kissing.
01:10:53Oh.
01:10:54Mmm.
01:10:56Mmm.
01:10:56Okay.
01:11:09Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:12Um, I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:20I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:24She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:32I wonder who it was.
01:11:33At least this birthday's over.
01:11:54Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.
01:12:12I don't know.
01:12:42Excuse me.
01:12:43Excuse me.
01:12:44Uh, do you know where the church is?
01:12:46It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:48Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:51Or used to go to.
01:12:52Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:58You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:21I don't think so.
01:13:23But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name?
01:13:25Sue.
01:13:26What's yours?
01:13:27Jesus.
01:13:29Really?
01:13:31Si.
01:13:31Uh, maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:35Oh, my.
01:13:48Uh.
01:13:51Oh.
01:13:56Oh.
01:13:57Oh.
01:13:57Oh.
01:13:57Oh.
01:13:58Oh.
01:13:58Oh.
01:13:59Oh.
01:14:00Oh.

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