Good Girls Gone Wild
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
#shortfilm #reelshort #dramabox #short #kalostv #shortdrama #fyp #film #shortmax #tv #movie #movies #reelshorts
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Music
00:00:30Oh, my God.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away,
00:00:40and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:21Come on, Lexi.
00:01:22So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:37I'm going to be very happy.
00:01:38Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital,
00:01:47we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:57Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:02No.
00:02:05Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06I have a date.
00:02:08So do I.
00:02:09Sorry, Sue.
00:02:10Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:11We'll figure it out.
00:02:24Oh, flowers.
00:02:25Are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:32I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:35I guess you still make me nervous.
00:02:40Oh, Jake.
00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:48Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be, I promise.
00:02:56It'll always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:08Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:12You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:15but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:17Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, OK?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29OK.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:30Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:48Rod.
00:03:49Sex God.
00:03:54Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:56You're right, I bet.
00:03:59Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:11Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:17Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:29I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:34and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her.
00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:42we should all face together.
00:04:43On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 28.
00:04:52Maybe.
00:04:53Listen, guys, I'm, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal, like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:38on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:06Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church to pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting Susan.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:28Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:37OK, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:39but it's about sex.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Uh-huh.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:03OK, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09OK.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:18I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:07:20if you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:25Woody?
00:07:26What?
00:07:27How could you do so?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:42Yes.
00:07:43Yes.
00:07:44Run.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:46Home route.
00:07:47Ah.
00:07:48Damn it.
00:07:51Fucking Yankees.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:07:57I'm done.
00:08:00At work.
00:08:12That's it.
00:08:17Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:19Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:23Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:26I have an announcement to make.
00:08:28I want to do it.
00:08:30Do you hear me?
00:08:31I want to do it.
00:08:33This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:36Do what?
00:08:38It. Screw.
00:08:40You know, screwing, boning,
00:08:42making the beast with two backs,
00:08:44you know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:52And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:58Well, okay, great.
00:09:01We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party
00:09:05and we'll do it there.
00:09:06Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:10I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:20Hey, Frank.
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:26I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:28Yeah.
00:09:29He's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:36Wait, wait, bye.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:40Um, I was wondering.
00:09:41We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:43It's for our birthday.
00:09:44Do you want to come?
00:09:45Do you think he can see at my shore?
00:09:59Well, the house looks done.
00:10:01Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:03We finally turn 18 and finally lose our virginity.
00:10:07Well, we better get our beady sleep
00:10:08because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:10So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:13Jake.
00:10:14And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But, Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:17To pop your chair?
00:10:18It's easy.
00:10:19I've known for the past six years,
00:10:21ever since catechism.
00:10:25What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:26I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:33My soulmate.
00:10:38Chris?
00:10:43Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:47I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:49No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:55Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:00What?
00:11:01He does not.
00:11:02Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:04He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:06With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:10Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:12Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:15Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:17See you in the morning.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:26I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30I knew it would happen soon.
00:11:31See you in the morning.
00:11:32It's kinda fast.
00:11:33I am I that a freak.
00:11:34I don't know.
00:11:35See you in the morning soon.
00:11:36When we ask him, I'll get out of my day soon.
00:11:37See you soon.
00:11:38I'm going to be back soon.
00:11:40Bye.
00:11:41Bye.
00:11:42Bye.
00:11:43Bye.
00:11:44Bye.
00:11:45Bye.
00:11:46Bye.
00:11:47Bye.
00:11:48Bye-bye.
00:11:49Bye.
00:11:50Bye.
00:11:52Bye.
00:11:53Bye.
00:11:54Bye.
00:11:55Bye.
00:11:56Bye.
00:11:57Bye.
00:11:58You're so perfect.
00:12:28And you knew that's what I look like.
00:12:52Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:58Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:08Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:28Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:36Ew, why?
00:13:39It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:41It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:42I'm going to stop it.
00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46He's going to be really sexy.
00:13:47It's stupid.
00:13:48Just screw him.
00:13:49That's what he wants.
00:13:50That's what all guys want.
00:13:51Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:53Oh, Christ.
00:13:54Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:56Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:16I love it!
00:14:17Um...
00:14:18You should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:14:21Very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:24Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:28Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:47I thought so.
00:14:48I thought so.
00:14:49I thought so.
00:14:50Oh, is this part of the house?
00:14:51Oh, Jesus.
00:14:52Whoa!
00:14:54Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:55Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:14:57Nice.
00:14:58Come on.
00:15:00Come on.
00:15:01Check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:09No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:16And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:19Oh, how do you know?
00:15:21I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:29Poster, such a cutie.
00:15:31Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:33All right, sorry.
00:15:34Are you okay now?
00:15:35Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:38See you later.
00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:42This is crazy.
00:15:43Oh, my God.
00:15:44Jake.
00:15:45Hi.
00:15:46Hey, babe.
00:15:47Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:01Oh, hon.
00:16:03Come here.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11He didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:12And I have a present for you that I want you to wrap later.
00:16:19Hey, bro.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23We'll bet.
00:16:27All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:29I am right here.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31Hi.
00:16:32How you doing?
00:16:33Hi.
00:16:41Check it out.
00:16:43Dare me.
00:16:44Do you dare me?
00:17:00Oh, dude.
00:17:01Look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey.
00:17:05Ah, dude.
00:17:06Move.
00:17:07Come on.
00:17:08Lame.
00:17:09Oh, all right.
00:17:10Okay.
00:17:11I'll see you guys later.
00:17:12Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:13Aw, the moves.
00:17:1420 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:20Okay.
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no.
00:17:32It's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no.
00:17:35Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36Come on.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:41Hey.
00:17:42Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:48Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:49I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:03Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:06How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:09I don't know.
00:18:10Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:17Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:22Go roll.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:37I can go meet a ride.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just eyes.
00:18:46Okay.
00:18:47Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49Gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:51I don't know.
00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No.
00:18:59He does not have gateways.
00:19:01I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm gonna do it.
00:19:08Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:12No.
00:19:13He does not have gateways.
00:19:14I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm gonna do it.
00:19:17I'm gonna do this.
00:19:18Good luck.
00:19:21Hey, you can do this.
00:19:23Just act like a slut.
00:19:28Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Gabor.
00:19:40Chris, hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:46Um, in private?
00:19:48Oh.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi. Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris, you're so sexy.
00:20:08Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:14And I really want to...
00:20:17Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:19Is that wrong?
00:20:20Sue!
00:20:21What's gotten into you?
00:20:22Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:25Sue.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:27Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29I understand these urges.
00:20:34And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:38Really?
00:20:39You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:44Really?
00:20:45You do?
00:20:46I do.
00:20:47I really do.
00:20:48It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:55Right.
00:20:56Lexi said you were...
00:20:57Jesus.
00:20:58Oh.
00:20:59That man.
00:21:00Of course.
00:21:01What did you think?
00:21:02Oh, nothing.
00:21:04So we can still do this then?
00:21:07Oh, Sue.
00:21:09You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about
00:21:19him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed
00:21:30over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty under
00:21:41that hot, hot sun.
00:21:44I just feel such compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things too.
00:21:49So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:54I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:05So...
00:22:16We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're gonna tell you three months.
00:22:19Hey, Ty.
00:22:20Whoa!
00:22:22Have you seen Jake?
00:22:23Uh, no.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25Alright.
00:22:27Focus.
00:22:28Focus.
00:22:29Focus.
00:22:30Focus.
00:22:31Focus.
00:22:32Focus.
00:22:33Oh, there he is.
00:22:37Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:42How could you?
00:22:43Sue?
00:22:44What happened?
00:22:45Did you guys do it?
00:22:49Sue?
00:22:50He doesn't want me.
00:22:51Because he's gay.
00:22:52No, he's not.
00:22:53He just really loves Jesus.
00:22:55Oh, come on, Sue.
00:22:56The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:05Look.
00:23:06Look, the only way you were gonna find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:23:18What?
00:23:19Come with me.
00:23:20Where?
00:23:21To meet your dark side.
00:23:25Out.
00:23:26Everyone out.
00:23:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:32All right.
00:23:33It's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:54Yes.
00:24:05I really can't.
00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:14I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:19Sue?
00:24:21Can you see it?
00:24:23Sue?
00:24:27I'm almost, I'm almost there.
00:24:34What?
00:24:36What?
00:24:37Sue, what happened?
00:24:38What did you see?
00:24:40A raccoon?
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it.
00:24:44Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:52I can't.
00:24:53Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:55Okay, fine.
00:24:56Fine.
00:24:57I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:59What?
00:25:00You really need an orgasm.
00:25:03Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:25:07never even had it with yourself.
00:25:08This really has to be your first step.
00:25:10Les, I'm waiting.
00:25:11Coming.
00:25:12Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:14Just find it and use it.
00:25:15Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:16It's black.
00:25:17It vibrates.
00:25:18Come on, Rod.
00:25:19Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:20And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:21Hey, cutie!
00:25:22Cutie!
00:25:23Cutie!
00:25:24Oh!
00:25:25Boozeye!
00:25:26Oh!
00:25:27Oh!
00:25:28Oh!
00:25:29Oh!
00:25:30Oh!
00:25:31Oh!
00:25:32Oh!
00:25:33Oh!
00:25:34Oh!
00:25:35Oh!
00:25:36Oh!
00:25:37Oh!
00:25:38Oh!
00:25:39Oh!
00:25:40Oh!
00:25:41Oh!
00:25:43Oh!
00:25:44Oh!
00:25:45Oh!
00:25:46Oh!
00:25:47Oh!
00:25:48Oh!
00:25:49Oh!
00:25:50Oh!
00:25:51Oh, yeah!
00:25:54Bang!
00:25:55Bang!
00:25:56Bang!
00:25:57Bang!
00:25:58Good boy.
00:25:59Straighten up.
00:26:00Good boy.
00:26:01Good boy.
00:26:02He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:05I'm sorry.
00:26:06I can't see anything.
00:26:08That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:10What a bitch.
00:26:11Unfortunately, when you're blind you get used to things like that.
00:26:15Oh, shit.
00:26:45What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:51Nice shot.
00:26:53Direct hit.
00:27:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:11He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:14For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:18so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse.
00:27:21He's a dirtbag.
00:27:22How dare he?
00:27:23No, it's awful.
00:27:25I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:28It's a text.
00:27:33It's from him.
00:27:34I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:37He's looking for you.
00:27:39He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:41Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:42Um, I have to go.
00:27:43I'm going.
00:27:44No, you can't just leave.
00:27:46Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:49I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:51No.
00:27:52He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:56I see only one option.
00:27:58I'm leaving.
00:27:59I'm leaving.
00:28:00Revenge sex.
00:28:01Re...
00:28:02I mean, what?
00:28:03What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:12Re...
00:28:13I mean, what?
00:28:14What does that even mean?
00:28:15It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:19But he...
00:28:20I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:21He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:22I mean, why would...
00:28:23He's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:26Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:29To his ego.
00:28:30To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:34Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:39No, I...
00:28:40I couldn't.
00:28:41Plus, I mean, there's...
00:28:42There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:45Eric!
00:28:46He's perfect!
00:28:47Eric Hall?
00:28:48Are you kidding?
00:28:49I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:52He likes your type.
00:28:53Really?
00:28:54And what type is that?
00:28:55Slutty.
00:28:57Yeah.
00:28:58Trust me, he's amazing.
00:28:59I fooled around with him once.
00:29:00He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:02Oh, no.
00:29:03I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:06Okay, then.
00:29:07Fine.
00:29:08We will find someone else.
00:29:09Someone that I haven't... fooled around with.
00:29:15Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:18I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:20No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:22Fine.
00:29:23If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:27to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:30and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it,
00:29:34go ahead.
00:29:35But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:38I don't know.
00:29:39Trust me.
00:29:40It's going to work.
00:29:41I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:45Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:46You look okay enough to chat with her.
00:29:47Oh, no.
00:29:48Oh, no.
00:29:49Oh, no.
00:29:50Hey.
00:29:51Hey.
00:29:52Happy birthday.
00:29:53Thanks.
00:29:54Happy birthday.
00:29:55Thanks.
00:29:56Thanks.
00:29:57Bye.
00:29:58Bye.
00:29:59Bye.
00:30:00Bye.
00:30:01Bye.
00:30:02Bye.
00:30:03Bye.
00:30:04Bye.
00:30:05Bye.
00:30:06Bye.
00:30:07Bye.
00:30:08Bye.
00:30:09Bye.
00:30:10Bye.
00:30:11Bye.
00:30:12Bye.
00:30:13Bye.
00:30:14Bye.
00:30:15Bye.
00:30:16Bye.
00:30:17Bye.
00:30:18Bye.
00:30:19Bye.
00:30:20Bye.
00:30:21Bye.
00:30:22Bye.
00:30:23Bye.
00:30:24Bye.
00:30:25Bye.
00:30:26Bye.
00:30:27Bye.
00:30:28Bye.
00:30:29Bye.
00:30:30Bye.
00:30:31Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:46So, happy birthday.
00:30:52Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain, but
00:30:56it's actually from us, U.S., America?
00:31:01United States?
00:31:03I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:09I know where we live.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:12Of course.
00:31:17Hey, Jesus, Erica, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20You want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:22No, you're fine.
00:31:31Jake!
00:31:38So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:41Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:44What, um...
00:31:45It?
00:31:45Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty?
00:31:52Oh!
00:31:53Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:02Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you, I mean, whew, uh, it's just, you're so, you're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay.
00:32:19Um, no kissine.
00:32:23Right.
00:32:24Um, of course.
00:32:25Sorry.
00:32:26So, um, do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:34Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:49Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:54So, the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:56Um, where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end is, that I just, like, right over here.
00:33:01Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:02That's where I see it.
00:33:03Um, let me just, uh, got it.
00:33:06Uh...
00:33:07Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:33:09I, um...
00:33:10It's, it's okay.
00:33:11Here, do it again.
00:33:14Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:17Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:20Okay.
00:33:21Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:31All right.
00:33:31Just, um, pull it.
00:33:33Oh, let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez.
00:33:37Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:38Are you okay?
00:33:40Help me.
00:33:40Help.
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:45Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:34:03How you doing tonight?
00:34:05Having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07You good?
00:34:07Jake!
00:34:08I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14Another beer.
00:34:15Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:17So are you ready?
00:34:19Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:20Hold on.
00:34:21Take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:24Oh.
00:34:38Oh.
00:34:38Oh.
00:34:38Oh.
00:34:41Oh.
00:34:43Oh.
00:34:44Ah.
00:34:44Oh.
00:34:52Finally.
00:34:53I, uh...
00:34:54Why'd you get the blinds?
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no.
00:34:57No, no, no.
00:34:58Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:00What?
00:35:01I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, okay.
00:35:08Okay.
00:35:08Finally, I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:36Oh.
00:35:38Well, okay.
00:35:39Okay.
00:35:40Um.
00:36:10What are you doing?
00:36:25I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:32Um, not yet.
00:36:34More foreplay.
00:36:35Huh?
00:36:36Oh.
00:36:37It's so good.
00:36:44Oh.
00:36:45Yep.
00:36:46Oh, my God.
00:36:47Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:48What?
00:36:49What?
00:36:50What?
00:36:51Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:52Is that even a thing?
00:36:54I don't know.
00:36:55Ah.
00:36:56Are you okay?
00:36:57No, no, no.
00:36:58It's fine.
00:36:59I'm just embarrassed.
00:37:00It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:03You sure you're okay?
00:37:04Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:05Okay, great.
00:37:06Have fun.
00:37:07Oh.
00:37:08Oh.
00:37:09Now.
00:37:10Now.
00:37:11Now.
00:37:12Now.
00:37:13Let's do it now.
00:37:14No, not yet.
00:37:15No, not yet.
00:37:16Oh.
00:37:17I'm going to come.
00:37:18Are you ready?
00:37:19No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:24No, no, no, no.
00:37:26No, not yet.
00:37:27Lexi!
00:37:28No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
00:37:50no means no oh I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry it's been a really long time
00:37:56and I just, I haven't even asked me for anything.
00:38:02Uh-oh.
00:38:05Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:08How are you doing?
00:38:10How's it going? Good.
00:38:11Eric?
00:38:13Help.
00:38:14Eric, help me. I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:17Excuse me.
00:38:21Cheryl's in here.
00:38:27What's up, bro?
00:38:28What the fuck is...
00:38:31Hey, wait!
00:38:33Lex, Meg, still waiting.
00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:46Damn it.
00:38:47I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:50Hey, you!
00:38:52You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:38:54or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:56Ow!
00:38:58I'm so sorry!
00:38:59I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:01Ah!
00:39:05What the do is the whole thing.
00:39:06Oh, man.
00:39:07No more water balloons.
00:39:08This party's ass.
00:39:09Yeah!
00:39:10This just isn't working.
00:39:11Nothing.
00:39:12It's the big deal.
00:39:13about these vibrators anyway.
00:39:14It's the big deal about these vibrators anyway.
00:39:15Ugh!
00:39:16What?
00:39:17What?
00:39:18Oh my God.
00:39:22What?
00:39:23Oh, man.
00:39:24Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:28This party's ass.
00:39:32Yeah.
00:39:37This just isn't working on it.
00:39:40Nothing.
00:39:40What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:39:43Ahem.
00:39:45I'm careful, man.
00:39:46The lock sticks.
00:39:47Spark it up.
00:39:49All right.
00:39:49Yes.
00:39:50Oh, man.
00:39:54I love this game.
00:39:55We're in the controllers.
00:39:56We got to play.
00:39:57Here, here, here.
00:39:57OK, let me find another one.
00:39:59All right, come on, come on.
00:40:02Woo!
00:40:04Look at this.
00:40:05Oh, my god.
00:40:07Fuel, fuel, fuel.
00:40:08Get that thing away.
00:40:10Jesus.
00:40:15Ah.
00:40:18Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:19One, two.
00:40:20Wasn't me.
00:40:26Whoa, whoa, nice.
00:40:29Are you sitting on there or something?
00:40:32Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:33Nice, nice.
00:40:46Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:49You are the controller.
00:40:50No, I just.
00:40:51I didn't.
00:40:51I swear, I.
00:40:53No problem.
00:40:58Whoa!
00:40:59You are the controller.
00:41:01No, I just.
00:41:02I didn't.
00:41:03I swear, I.
00:41:04I didn't, I swear, I...
00:41:16Hey, hey, Sue!
00:41:18What are you doing, man?
00:41:22It's okay, um, hey, Sue!
00:41:34Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:36Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:41:38Oh, sure.
00:41:41Listen, Sue, I, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:46You were? You mean...
00:41:49Y-yeah.
00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:56Could we go get a drink?
00:41:58Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:42:04Oh, you...
00:42:06Do you know what? I gotta go.
00:42:07Um, happy birthday.
00:42:08Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't, I didn't...
00:42:11Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:25This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:27Never going to have sex.
00:42:29Ow.
00:42:49Hello?
00:42:50A little attention here.
00:42:52Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:42:58Lex.
00:43:00Don't be selfish.
00:43:01Oh, right.
00:43:02Sorry.
00:43:03All right.
00:43:14Ugh.
00:43:15Jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:19Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:21Screw it.
00:43:22Oh, my God.
00:43:23Oh, my God.
00:43:24Oh, my God.
00:43:25Oh, my God.
00:43:26Oh, my God.
00:43:27Oh, my God.
00:43:28Oh, my God.
00:43:29Oh, my God.
00:43:30Oh, my God.
00:43:31Oh, my God.
00:43:32Oh, my God.
00:43:33Oh, my God.
00:43:34Oh, my God.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:36Oh, my God.
00:43:37Oh, my God.
00:43:38Oh, my God.
00:43:39Oh, my God.
00:43:40Oh, my God.
00:43:41Oh, my God.
00:43:42Oh, my God.
00:43:43Oh, my God.
00:43:44Oh, my God.
00:43:45Oh, my God.
00:43:46Oh, my God.
00:43:47Oh, no, that was bad, that was so bad.
00:44:17Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:24I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:29Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:33Yes, it does.
00:44:35So, you're JJ?
00:44:37Uh-oh.
00:44:47Hello, welcome to 1-900-Confess.
00:45:03Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:12Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, my goodness.
00:45:171-900-Confession, how may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:23I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day.
00:45:28Ow!
00:45:34Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:37Go on.
00:45:39Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:43Well, actually, I didn't.
00:45:44Oh, a washing machine did.
00:45:45What's her problem?
00:45:46A washing machine touched her.
00:45:50Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.
00:45:53All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:55What?
00:45:56But what do I do?
00:45:57Just unplug the thing.
00:45:58No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:02Well, then be happy.
00:46:04You found the perfect man.
00:46:05I'm serious.
00:46:06Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:09I'll tell you this.
00:46:12Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:14No contritions?
00:46:16You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:18It's not in the Bible.
00:46:20So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:24Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:26Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:29Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:32Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:35Huh.
00:46:36God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:38He sure is.
00:46:39Now run along.
00:46:43Wow.
00:46:44How do you know all that?
00:46:46Because I'm a nun.
00:46:48Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:51Huh.
00:46:52Accidental masturbation.
00:46:53Who'da think?
00:47:03Revenge sex.
00:47:04What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:06God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:10Yeah, admit it.
00:47:11I've got no game.
00:47:13I guess I'll just get away.
00:47:15I guess I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:19Fucking douchebag.
00:47:22Damn it.
00:47:23Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:26You go, girl.
00:47:28What?
00:47:30What are you doing here?
00:47:32We needed someplace private.
00:47:34But hey, listen.
00:47:35If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:37Yeah?
00:47:38If you want someone great, I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:45Frank.
00:47:46The blind guy?
00:47:47Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:52I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:54It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:57It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:00Everything.
00:48:03If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:06All right.
00:48:13What about him?
00:48:14Jeremy.
00:48:15Oh, yeah.
00:48:16I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:20I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:24Jeremy Jones.
00:48:26This all makes sense.
00:48:27Excuse me.
00:48:29Jeremy.
00:48:31Hi.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:34Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:36You'll meet her.
00:48:37She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:38Wait.
00:48:39You have a girlfriend?
00:48:53Oh.
00:48:54Hi, Frank.
00:48:56Sit.
00:49:00Oh, you meant...
00:49:02You meant the dog.
00:49:04Relax.
00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:18Oh, I'm...
00:49:19I'm relaxed.
00:49:20I'm fine.
00:49:21Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:22I'm not.
00:49:26How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:34Sit.
00:49:36Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:43Roll over.
00:49:47Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Oh, how do you...
00:49:50How do you want me to...
00:49:52Just lay down.
00:49:53Oh.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:05Oh.
00:50:06I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:50:07Considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:13Oh.
00:50:16See me with your hands.
00:50:18All right.
00:50:19Uh...
00:50:20You know, I should really...
00:50:29I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:31Really.
00:50:32Oh.
00:50:34Oh.
00:50:36Oh.
00:50:45Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.
00:51:01Frank.
00:51:02Frank.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:07Oh, Frank.
00:51:16You know, man.
00:51:17Oh, give me a chip.
00:51:19You know, ma'am?
00:51:32Oh, give me a chip.
00:51:34My chips, on boy.
00:51:35Oh, give me a chip, man.
00:51:36My chips.
00:51:37Dude.
00:51:38My chip.
00:51:39Give me two.
00:51:40My chips.
00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:46Sorry.
00:51:54It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:01Come on, let me do this.
00:52:02Go ahead.
00:52:03I got it.
00:52:04No, really, please.
00:52:05I want to help.
00:52:09Okay, everybody out.
00:52:11Leave.
00:52:12I have to back you.
00:52:26You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:29I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:34It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38It's a dirty floor.
00:52:40Such a dirty...
00:52:42...dirty floor.
00:52:45That's...
00:52:45Oh, my God.
00:52:49Oh, my God.
00:52:52Oh, my God.
00:52:53Oh, my God.
00:52:53Oh, my God.
00:52:55Oh, my God.
00:52:55I see you.
00:52:56I think I got all that.
00:53:07I'm just going to see you.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:19Frankie.
00:53:21Oh my.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Fuck your shit.
00:53:26Oh man, we got to smoke.
00:53:27Well, we can smoke in here.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:33Oh, crap.
00:53:34I'm sorry, man.
00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39You want to join us?
00:53:41No, I might.
00:53:41Come on, you got to do it.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:44Seriously, guys.
00:53:44I need to do it.
00:53:45What's your dog, man?
00:53:46What's it like being blinded?
00:53:47It's tripping.
00:53:52Frank?
00:53:54Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:53:56Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:02Thanks, man.
00:54:03Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:05I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:15Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:16This is some good shit.
00:54:17Oh, no.
00:54:36You're the devil.
00:54:38No more.
00:54:39JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:44You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:48Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:55It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect.
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect.
00:55:23Let's do it.
00:55:35Let's do it.
00:55:35Fuck me.
00:55:36Fuck me now.
00:55:41What?
00:55:42What's wrong?
00:55:43I can't.
00:55:44I can't get it in.
00:55:46It's too dry down there.
00:55:47It's like a desert down there.
00:55:49It's sandpaper.
00:55:51Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:53Just try it again.
00:55:56No.
00:55:57Why is this happening?
00:55:59We fooled around before.
00:56:01I was dripping wet.
00:56:02I came like four times, remember?
00:56:04Just do what you did then.
00:56:05Go on.
00:56:06I already did my thing.
00:56:07I already tried.
00:56:10What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:12I don't know.
00:56:14Last time...
00:56:17I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:20You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:26How can you not be JJ?
00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:32We're not done here.
00:56:34I can still do this.
00:56:35I just need a little bit of fun.
00:56:36I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:39I don't need anyone else.
00:56:40We can do this.
00:56:42Go team.
00:56:47What?
00:56:47Just keep going.
00:56:49Oh.
00:56:52Jeremy?
00:56:53I can do this.
00:56:54Shit.
00:56:56Jeremy?
00:56:59Where's Jeremy?
00:57:05We were just, you know, from here.
00:57:09Hey babe.
00:57:11Just working out.
00:57:15How could you, you bastard?
00:57:20You might want to...
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:29Mariela!
00:57:30Mariela!
00:57:31You know, those aren't mine!
00:57:34At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:41What is wrong with you?
00:57:44You used to be so pure.
00:57:46Well, no more.
00:57:47That's it.
00:57:49Really, that's the last one.
00:57:50Well, it's okay.
00:57:52I try to...
00:57:55Like...
00:57:55Like...
00:57:57I don't know.
00:57:59I didn't know.
00:58:00Like...
00:58:00I don't know.
00:58:02Like...
00:58:03Like...
00:58:03Like...
00:58:03Like...
00:58:04Like...
00:58:05Like...
00:58:05Like...
00:58:07Cheryl, what is it? What are you doing down here?
00:58:27Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:31What? Why?
00:58:33Nothing. Just this lying guy and his dog.
00:58:37Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:45I'm sorry.
00:58:46It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That lying cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway? Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:02You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:05Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
00:59:09Yeah. You know, you might wanna...
00:59:13You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:15Yeah, you're right.
00:59:17Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:19No.
00:59:20I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:33I got no game.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:42Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:56No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:58Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:00:01No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it up to you.
01:00:07Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:14I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:19But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime. Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:30Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:00:35No, not really.
01:00:38Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:43Okay. All right.
01:00:46I, uh...
01:00:48Happy birthday, then.
01:00:50Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:11Wow.
01:01:20Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:29Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:32Oh, God damn it. Not again.
01:01:33Oh, no, um...
01:01:35Honey, happy...
01:01:37What the fuck is this? Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:45Cheryl.
01:01:46Baby, what is this?
01:01:48Aw, gee, Cheryl. You're...
01:01:52I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:55Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:57You couldn't find me?
01:01:59What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:04Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no.
01:02:07We can work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:09Jake, no, you have to go.
01:02:10Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please. I promise.
01:02:13No, Jake, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:16Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:20You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do...
01:02:24Yay! You did it.
01:02:25I am so proud of you.
01:02:26You got your revenge sex.
01:02:28You left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:30Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38That all makes sense now.
01:02:40Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:02:43Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:45Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:49And you used me.
01:02:51Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:02:55Aren't you happy?
01:02:58Well, no. That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:01You mean the sex? Was it...
01:03:03Yeah?
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:06Oh. You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:08Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:13Anyway. We better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:03:16I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:17I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:03:31Oh! Oh!
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:35Oh!
01:03:37Oh my God, I'm outta here!
01:03:39He has good hair, though.
01:03:40Yeah! He has good hair, though.
01:03:46Don't keep fused on me.
01:03:48Don't keep in my car, either.
01:04:03Sue, are you all right?
01:04:06Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:04:08I don't think so. Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:11Oh, don't ask. Every possible object.
01:04:15It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:17It was like Transformers.
01:04:19They just all became vibrators.
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:23It's addicting.
01:04:25So what about Chris?
01:04:27The last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:04:29I told you he was gay.
01:04:30Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:33Oh, cramp.
01:04:36Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:38So wait.
01:04:40None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:49So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:51Can I go?
01:04:52No.
01:04:53I think I should finish up here.
01:04:56Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:58No.
01:04:58No.
01:04:58I don't know.
01:05:00For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why?
01:05:06Do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:08Oh.
01:05:10Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:13Leave everything, it's fine.
01:05:20Love him.
01:05:20Shut it.
01:05:21You wanna do it?
01:05:21I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:22You wanna get married?
01:05:23You wanna do it?
01:05:24All right, all right, all right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:25All right.
01:05:26All right.
01:05:26No, no way.
01:05:56Oh, well.
01:06:10There's always next year.
01:06:12It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:06:40Joanna.
01:06:40I don't know him.
01:07:10I don't know him.
01:07:15No.
01:07:20And when the heat is on you'll never take it away.
01:07:27Give me a robot no more.
01:07:34Wow, that's amazing.
01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:47I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:59Whose?
01:08:00Eric's.
01:08:01Well, it's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:08I have to go see him.
01:08:13Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:251-900-confess.
01:08:29Sister Therese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:37Oh, sure.
01:08:39It's 271.
01:08:41Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:45Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, like, take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hon.
01:08:53Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:04Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:09:08Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:10Well, I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No!
01:09:13Hush your trap!
01:09:16Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:20I will.
01:09:22Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:29Eric, wait!
01:09:48Cheryl?
01:09:51Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:59At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:08Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:17I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these pink-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:22Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:24Oh, wow.
01:10:26Cheryl, um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:36Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days when I get back?
01:10:42Yeah, sure.
01:10:49Oh.
01:10:50Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:52No, kissing.
01:10:53Oh.
01:10:53Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:17Wait, what?
01:11:18I never did that.
01:11:18I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:29She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:32I wonder who it was.
01:11:33At least this birthday's over.
01:11:54Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.
01:12:12Uh, my God.
01:12:33Uh.
01:12:37Go ahead.
01:12:38Excuse me! Excuse me! Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:48Yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. It's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:55Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, I don't know.
01:13:08Well, that's pretty powerful. Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on. I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name? Sue. What's yours? Jesus.
01:13:29Really? Si.
01:13:32Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:38Oh!
01:13:52Oh!
01:13:53Oh!
01:13:55Oh, no, no.
01:13:57Oh!
01:14:00Oh, no!
01:14:02Oh!