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  • 6/21/2025
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Transcript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:10Tom!
00:18Yep, that's it.
00:20Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:30I hate you.
00:34Let me out of here!
00:44Hello and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:46It's our third episode and after my week-long cryogenic sleep
00:50they've updated my moral source code with what's okay
00:54and what's not okay to joke about.
00:56Look out straight, white men.
00:58I'm coming for you.
01:02Ah, let's meet the cast.
01:04The stinky and old Dave Hughes.
01:08The wonderful Emma Holland.
01:10The irreplaceable Lisa McKeown.
01:14The very cool and suave Takashi Pakasuki.
01:18And the stinky and getting old Tommy Little.
01:22Hello!
01:24And next to me, the boy who spends his weekend hanging out at the library telling people to shh
01:30and getting tingles in his naughty region at the brilliance of the Dewey Decimal System.
01:36It's Tom Cashman.
01:42How are you this week?
01:43I've been inspired this week.
01:44Yeah.
01:45Because we have a warm-up guy here on the show called Steve Philp.
01:48I've been trying to do something similar.
01:49Yep.
01:50I've been trying to become a warm guy.
01:52Is that warmth?
02:02It's an attempt at warmth.
02:04Okay.
02:05Okay Princess, what's our first task for the show?
02:08Our first task is a prize task.
02:10And this week our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the swankiest thing.
02:15Alright, so Waka.
02:17Yes.
02:18What do you have for me?
02:19I bought birds.
02:21Birds and crested birds.
02:24That's why I put my hair make like this.
02:28It takes so long.
02:30Lots of time and effort there.
02:32But this bird, when they wake up, already there.
02:37When it's a rainy day, it's already there.
02:40That's the swankest things I ever think.
02:43It's naturally swankest.
02:45I must admit it's a problem I can't really relate to.
02:49Alright, Lisa, what did you bring in?
02:51Look I brought a high tea.
02:52It's pretty and it's nice and everybody gets dressed up for it and partakes in it together and there's conversation, polite conversation.
03:00As opposed to low tea, which is an issue I deal with.
03:04Yes.
03:05What does a low tea involve?
03:07T is short for testosterone.
03:11You really are lesser in every way, aren't you?
03:14Because apparently too much testosterone calls baldness.
03:19I'm just saying I'm locked and loaded.
03:21Is that true though?
03:22Or is that just something that they say to bald men to make them feel better about themselves?
03:26Yeah, it's just some annoying thing from science, Husey.
03:29But you enjoy your full head of hair and your one sperm cell rattling around your empty nuts.
03:34You'll be fine.
03:35See, I've had a vasectomy anyway, so I don't...
03:39So they can't get out whether they're there or not.
03:42Hey Huse, when you've had a vasectomy, does it just go like...
03:49Mate, I'll show you later.
03:50Alright, so Emma, what's the swankiest thing you brought in?
03:58I brought in something I made.
04:00It's a golden statue of Hilary Swank.
04:08And it looks exactly like her.
04:11Are you a massive Hilary Swank fan?
04:13Oh, absolutely. I love all of her work.
04:15Including what?
04:17Oh, just the movies, you know, the...
04:20All the cinema that she's in.
04:22You know, a real fan wouldn't pick a favourite.
04:26Tommy, what did you bring in that you thought was swanky?
04:28I brought in an invitation I got from the, at the time, royals.
04:34From Harry and Meghan.
04:36And I RSVP'd and then forgot.
04:42They didn't do a follow-up check.
04:44So I think it's a bit on them, Tom.
04:47So you needed not just a royal invite, you needed a royal reminder.
04:51Yes.
04:53Okay, Dave, what's the swankiest thing that you've brought in?
04:55An electric foot masseuse.
04:59So you put your feet on it and it, underneath the things come up and make you feel like you're a king or a queen or, you know, whatever gender-neutral term you have for royalty.
05:10Um, yeah.
05:12So how much does that cost, you reckon, Husey?
05:14Oh, I got it for free, but I reckon if you bought it, I've no idea. What do you reckon?
05:19Yeah, like what, $49.99?
05:21Like, it sounds affordable.
05:22Yeah, I'm not an elitist.
05:25Uh, it's anyone...
05:27Well, for this prize task, you're supposed to be.
05:29Oh, right.
05:30Yeah, because this seems very affordable and something that anyone could get.
05:33Yeah, right. Which doesn't feel swanky at all to me.
05:35Anyway, I'm already starting to score.
05:37One.
05:38I don't even want to hear your defense of it.
05:44I'm going to go two points for Lisa. I appreciate what you're trying to do.
05:48Yeah.
05:49But it's not quite as special as a fancy bird, so I'm going to give three points to Waka.
05:55For my sake, I'm going to give four points to Tommy Little, because that's a very swanky invitation.
05:59But for all the effort, I mean, Hilary's swanky. You can't get more swanky than Hilary.
06:03Five points to Emma.
06:08Okay, let's get into a task.
06:09Like someone who purchased the hit single, Don't Stop Believin', and was unsatisfied, it's time to return Journey.
06:28Come in.
06:30Hey, Tom.
06:31Hi, Waka.
06:32Hi.
06:33Hi, Dave.
06:34How are you?
06:35I'm again.
06:36A little kiss?
06:37Sure.
06:38Here we go.
06:39Cheek.
06:42Second for good measure.
06:43Oh, sorry.
06:44So rude.
06:47Might as well go third.
06:49Oh, yep.
06:50Okay.
06:51That was too soon.
06:52That was a bit wet, that one.
06:53I'm so sorry.
06:54I'll just...
06:57Make this exercise ball go as far away as possible from you, and have it come back.
07:03Once the exercise ball has left you...
07:06You may not take a step without forfeiting an attempt.
07:09Furthest return Journey wins.
07:12You have 15 minutes.
07:14Your time starts now.
07:19Alright, I love that.
07:20How can I do this?
07:22Yes.
07:23So I can have as multiple attempts.
07:24Yep.
07:25Do whatever I like.
07:26Alright.
07:27Well, not whatever.
07:28Well, within reason.
07:29Do whatever you like.
07:30I can't do whatever I like.
07:31I can do...
07:32There's certain rules.
07:33Yeah, there's rules.
07:34You've told me the rules.
07:35Morality.
07:36Yeah, absolutely.
07:37Morality?
07:38Did you just say morality?
07:39Well, I suppose they aren't.
07:40I'm not even thinking about it.
07:41That's subconscious, isn't it?
07:47So, Lisa Tom, what moral boundaries are holding you back from doing what you actually want
07:52to do?
07:53Tax fraud.
07:56That's your first go-to.
07:58I don't think you have to pay tax if you earn under $18,000.
08:01Oh!
08:07I love this.
08:08I feel like this is nerd on nerd action.
08:11I love it.
08:12So, I've got to say, Lisa Tom, Tommy, was this the beginning of something?
08:16I hoped it was.
08:18Were you looking for favourable treatment?
08:20No, Tom just hadn't had some action in a long time.
08:24Jock on nerd action.
08:29Okay, who's first?
08:30First to have a ball while they throw a ball at the wall.
08:33It's two people whose names I really wish rhymed with ball.
08:36It's Lisa and Waka.
08:38They just put this and they go,
08:40come back without moving.
08:47Wow.
08:50Oh no.
08:54It's not too bad.
08:58That's pretty good.
09:01I'm going to look for another way now.
09:03I have to trust my tape.
09:05Oh no.
09:07Alright.
09:08I know, it's strange.
09:10But...
09:13Okay.
09:1890 seconds.
09:22I'm going to try and use gravity.
09:24How many minutes have I got left?
09:26We've got one minute and 57 seconds.
09:29Oh my god.
09:30That was pretty good.
09:31That was pretty good.
09:33Yes.
09:34You moved.
09:35I'm sorry.
09:3615 seconds.
09:37I'm just going to throw it back just in case by magic it comes back.
09:42Oh.
09:44Fingers crossed.
09:45Yep.
09:4712 seconds.
09:48Maybe if I wish hard enough it might come back.
09:58I think potentially, at this point, we may have to give up hope.
10:02I liked your approach there, Lisa, where you thought you just throw it in the air because
10:09you've got nothing to lose and hope that by magic it'll just come back.
10:12You just never know.
10:13Yeah.
10:14You know, like sometimes things just change and it might have kind of come back.
10:19Like there's magic in the world.
10:20I believe in magic.
10:21Yes.
10:23Okay.
10:24Waka, you had mixed results with the string.
10:26You had a bit of a shit sticky tape situation.
10:28Once you made a decision and it didn't work well, your brains got panic.
10:34Yes.
10:35That's why I used tyre.
10:39That was the second best option.
10:41Okay, because at that point you're in a panic.
10:43You don't have much time to go.
10:44So you just thought, I'll just fling it at shit.
10:46Yeah.
10:47I know.
10:48I did the best job.
10:49I saw that.
10:50That looks so bad.
10:54Okay, well I feel like we need to know the measurements now.
10:56Well, waka, by throwing it at a stack of tyres when there was an extremely flat wall right behind him.
11:04That was bad.
11:05I know.
11:06Your result was 7.42 metres.
11:08Lisa's reliance on golf, then gravity, then God, but ultimately with the string, got 14.2 metres.
11:16It's not bad.
11:18Okay, well it's time for an ad break.
11:20So just like a big red ball with Lisa casting spells behind it, we hope you come back.
11:25Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:40Give us a recap, my little chap.
11:42Our contestants are sending exercise balls away and hoping they come back,
11:46and the furthest return journey without taking a step wins.
11:49Next up, one's a boomer, the other one likes meringues.
11:52Let's put them together and watch them boomerang.
11:54It's Dave and Emma.
11:56All right, let's go for a safety.
11:58All right, let's come back.
12:03No steps.
12:04That's a keeper.
12:05Okay.
12:06Do you have any remote controlled cars?
12:07I think there's one in the shed.
12:09If I deflate this and then use a drone, I think I can get this done.
12:23You come here often?
12:24Yeah.
12:25Yeah, heaps.
12:26Oh.
12:27Don't find me a drone.
12:28Go!
12:29Don't find a drone!
12:31I really need that to stay in there.
12:42This is going to protect me when the drone brings it back to me.
12:46Is it coming backwards?
12:47It's coming backwards.
12:48Okay.
12:49From wherever it's stopped there.
12:52Nice.
12:53You gonna have another go?
12:54How much time do I have?
12:55Two minutes and 27 seconds.
12:56Okay.
12:57Send the drone.
12:59Ball, fly away.
13:00Come on, Ball.
13:01Come on.
13:02Go, Ball.
13:03Please go away from me.
13:06Make me a winner.
13:10That seems to be a long way.
13:12I think this is a win if you can come back.
13:15I think you can come back now.
13:17Or keep going if you like.
13:18You decide.
13:19Time?
13:20One minute.
13:21Please come back.
13:22Stay in the air.
13:23Stay up.
13:24I want you back.
13:25Where did you go?
13:26You're not going to turn back?
13:27You're crazy.
13:28What time?
13:2943 seconds.
13:30Alright.
13:31Come back, Ball.
13:32I think it's landed itself.
13:33Come back.
13:34I think it can't handle the weight.
13:35She's struggling.
13:37Oh no.
13:3820 seconds.
13:39You're running out of power.
13:40I'm running out of time.
13:41It's so close.
13:42Please come back.
13:43Oh yes.
13:44Come on.
13:45Six seconds.
13:46God damn you.
13:47Oh.
13:48It had the vibe of such victory.
13:49Yeah it did.
13:50Why did you go so far away?
13:51We bit off more than we could chew.
13:52God damn.
13:53So Emma, you must have been very proud of your first attempt there.
13:54Yeah, I was happy it came back to me.
13:55I'm more concerned about the fact that this is not the first time Husey and I have thought
14:00of the same thing.
14:01Really, I don't know, I don't know.
14:02I'm not comfortable with that.
14:03So you're pretty happy with the remote control car.
14:04That worked really well.
14:05Would have liked it if the editors didn't need that?
14:06I think that this is a bit off more than we could chew.
14:07We could have liked that.
14:08The video's a bit off more than we could chew.
14:10God damn.
14:11So Emma, you must have been very proud of your first attempt there.
14:12Yeah, I was happy it came back to me.
14:14I am more concerned about the fact that this is not the first time Husey and I have
14:16thought of the same thing.
14:19I don't know, I'm not comfortable with that.
14:26So you're pretty happy with the remote control car, that worked really well.
14:29Would have you liked it if the editors didn't include your second attempt?
14:32I think that...
14:34You could have looked like a real chap.
14:35Yeah, that would have been awesome, but they didn't do that, did they?
14:39So Dave, just to be clear, you were controlling the drone by yelling at it?
14:43Ah, look, let's not get into that.
14:46The fact is, the drone was my idea.
14:49No one else thought of a drone.
14:50It was a brilliant idea.
14:51And it was almost probably the best task ever in the history of this show.
14:56So, I'm guessing Emma's first attempt was the winner.
15:00Emma's first attempt was a successful return distance of 49.05 metres.
15:07OK, so that was quite a distance round the back of the house.
15:10And then Dave's drone distance would have been 51.2 if it came back,
15:15but of course it didn't, which means we'd go with the safety of...
15:18Waka, you'll remember that, the wall behind.
15:2115.6 metres.
15:22Alright, OK.
15:24So there's still a score there.
15:26Alright, well, give us another then.
15:28Whilst I may not exactly have consented to his kiss on the lips,
15:30I consent to him being next, it's Tommy Little.
15:33Hey, is there keys in that car?
15:35That's actually been a bit of an issue recently, but...
15:37What do you mean?
15:38Nothing.
15:39Let's check the car.
15:40OK.
15:41So, I'm going to need you to drive.
15:43OK.
15:44I'm just going to put the ball in the passenger seat.
15:46OK.
15:47And then drive it as far as can.
15:48OK.
15:49And then come back.
15:50OK.
15:51And go!
15:52I have no faith in this van coming back.
16:04Samia.
16:08Pretty lonely way of doing things.
16:12Come on.
16:13Yeah!
16:24Hi, Tommy.
16:25You've got 15 seconds.
16:27No worries.
16:28Thanks, Tommy.
16:29You did wonderful.
16:31You too.
16:39Tommy, did you just do something clever?
16:42It was very...
16:43Stop!
16:44It was...
16:45I'm saying...
16:46It was very disorienting.
16:49I was expecting you to deflate the ball, shove it up your arse or put it in your pants.
16:54To see you actually do something clever, I think it really threw all of us, didn't it?
16:59Is that within the rules that this time we can just do something?
17:02Dave, you also instructed someone to take yours away.
17:04LAUGHTER
17:10OK.
17:11Well, how did he do?
17:12The total distance, including the 19-point turn I had to do to turn the van around, was 774 metres.
17:18So, that means one point goes to Wacker, Lisa gets two, Dave gets three, Emma gets four, but the winner of the task with the driving is Tommy with five points.
17:32And then for the overall episode scores, we've got three fours at the bottom and two nines at the top, with Emma and Tommy leading so far.
17:43OK, lad, another task, please.
17:45Yeah, we could, or maybe let's bloody head to the pub.
17:49Down some brewskis and watch the footy or have an arm wrestle or...
17:54This will make more sense when you watch the tyres.
18:13Hi, Emma.
18:14Hi, Tom.
18:15That's a shitter.
18:19Oh.
18:21Oh, oh.
18:23The art department wins an award or someone gets arrested, mate, because that's not right.
18:28Oh.
18:30Can I pee, or...?
18:31No, thank you.
18:33Oh, goodness.
18:34I feel like this should play into my strengths.
18:38I feel like it's the only task so far where I've walked out and gone, comfortable.
18:43Tommy, I think you're going to be right.
18:44You do?
18:45Be a man.
18:46Be a man.
18:48Manliest man wins.
18:50You have 30 minutes.
18:52Your time starts now.
18:5530 minutes?
18:56That's right.
18:58Yeah.
18:59So how do I be a man?
19:00I've got to be a man.
19:01What do men like?
19:02Would you like to know my thoughts?
19:05Initially, it was just lift up the toilet and throw it off the balcony.
19:09Men like Quentin Tarantino.
19:12What if I make a Quentin Tarantino-style film about pissing standing up?
19:16A lot of foot shots?
19:18Yeah.
19:19You know what the most manly thing to be is?
19:22To show your vulnerability.
19:25Maybe I might do a day in the life of a man.
19:29Oh, wow.
19:30We're going to be the man?
19:31Oh, actually, no.
19:32That's actually a good point.
19:33I could get you to be the man and I could direct you.
19:35Oh.
19:36Oh, that's good.
19:37I think what this makes man, manly, is always women.
19:44So you think what makes a man, manly, is women?
19:46Yeah.
19:47Protect women.
19:48Are you trying to use this show as a vehicle to impress women?
19:58So, I have to ask, why was there a shit in Hughesy's toilet and no one else's?
20:05Because none of the others had one in there.
20:07Oh, no.
20:08Did you do something early on?
20:09I ain't shit in the toilet.
20:10Did you think I was going to eat it or something?
20:13I just don't know.
20:14Why?
20:15What?
20:16What?
20:17Out of all the steps, why was that the next one?
20:21And also, just to be clear, Hughesy, it's very manly to own up to something.
20:25I didn't shit in the toilet.
20:27Oh, well, they've got their promo.
20:42Okay, which man are we getting to see first?
20:44Being a manly man in the style of every man's favourite man, it's Emma Holland.
20:48Let's go.
20:50Here we go.
21:07It's the only one that's port of a bicycle.
21:11closed down right now.
21:13Bye.
21:14Can I get you a drink?
21:44Emma, the crowd loved it, so just to be clear, did you piss all over the seat and then
21:52put the seat up after that?
21:54Yeah, and then I flushed and then did a shit and gave it to Husey.
21:58I mean, brilliant.
22:02I feel like this came from a real place though, have you had to sit through a lot of men banging
22:06on about how great Quentin Tarantino is?
22:08Yeah, I've met men.
22:10Yeah.
22:11What?
22:12He is great.
22:13Yeah, of course you would love that Feeney McFreak.
22:16It was quite satirical and it was making fun of men, but it was so accurate that men in
22:23the crowd were going, oh cool, Quentin Tarantino.
22:26Yeah.
22:27And what is being a man if not oblivious?
22:31All right, time for something else manly, trying to coerce society into making decisions
22:41against their wishes through power and influence.
22:44Their ad breaks.
22:45Back soon.
22:46Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster where we're playing for something Dave Hughes' bunion-y
23:03feet have been in.
23:04Connect some dots, Lester Tom.
23:06Our contestants are trying to be really, really manly, or to me, normal.
23:11Next up, of our cast he has the most tattoos, and if you think that makes him a bad boy,
23:17oh baby, you've got no idea.
23:19It's Tommy Little.
23:20I think I need to say something.
23:21Something manly.
23:22What we do when this life echoes to eternity.
23:23Oh, that's beautiful.
23:25Should I also do a gladiator quote?
23:26I got it.
23:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:39Are you not entertained?
24:01That was good.
24:04You think you did well in this one?
24:09Are you kidding?
24:12This could be one of my prouder moments.
24:17Tommy, thanks for that example of toxic masculinity.
24:21Anytime Tom.
24:22It was very powerful.
24:23It was so fun.
24:26It worked.
24:27I mean it was very manly.
24:28You had to lift it.
24:29That was heavy.
24:30Yeah, it was heavy.
24:31It was dumb.
24:32Yeah.
24:33It was fun.
24:34Yeah.
24:35And there was a reference to Gladiator, which is up the Tarantino into the spectrum.
24:38Yeah.
24:39And then afterwards I went and found Hughes' toilet and took a shit in it.
24:47This is turning into a very lowbrow whodunit.
24:49I didn't realise we had such a budget we could throw toilets off balconies.
24:55No, I think there was only one.
24:56No, we had to replace it.
24:57It cost $370.
24:58Alright.
24:59The only issue is it was very manly.
25:01You had to lift it up.
25:02You threw it off the balcony.
25:03It smashed.
25:04Yes.
25:05You yelled out a gladiator quote.
25:06Yes.
25:07Yes.
25:08Yes.
25:09Yes.
25:10Yes.
25:11But there was just, we've got a photo of what your face looked like after you let go
25:14of the toilet.
25:15Yes.
25:16This will be manly.
25:17Yeah.
25:18Alright.
25:19Throw me another bloke please.
25:25Being the manliest man by showing his feminine side, it's Dave Hughes.
25:29You know what I, I don't do often enough.
25:32I don't cry man.
25:34I need to cry more.
25:35I need you to lie on the ground.
25:38Okay.
25:39I need you to just tap one leg.
25:42I need you to growl just a little bit.
25:46Just go.
25:47Just do it.
25:49It's okay buddy.
25:51It's all my knees we had together.
25:54Me and you.
25:55You are my best friend.
25:58The whole family loved you man.
26:02We miss you man.
26:05Doggy door mate.
26:06Never worked it out did you?
26:08Eight in ears.
26:09Barking outside.
26:10Let me in.
26:11It was a way to let yourself in.
26:14It was on hinges.
26:15You idiot.
26:17But that was alright.
26:19We didn't mind.
26:20Because we loved you man.
26:22I'm going to hug you man.
26:27I love you Barkley.
26:28Alright.
26:29I think I'm done right here.
26:30Just had an emotional moment with my dog.
26:42I'm going to go now.
26:44I mean the very first thing you brought in was your dog's ashes.
26:57This is a light entertainment show.
26:59It's supposed to be comedy.
27:01I know but Tom really turned into him.
27:04That is one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life I reckon.
27:08Yeah I appreciate what you did.
27:10And you go above and beyond the call of duty many times.
27:13But being my dog is something I'll never forget.
27:16So if you ever want to come round to my house I'd love to put a lead on you and walk around.
27:20Alright test me with some more testosterone please.
27:29If you remove one of the C's her full name is legitimately an anagram for the word masculine.
27:34Which means her whole name is an anagram for C masculine.
27:37Let's C masculine with Lisa McHugh.
27:39Unbelievable.
27:40So this this first scene you're just waking up in the morning.
27:45Okay.
27:46And then I'm going to.
27:47I've got YouTube open.
27:49Okay so that that's you kind of know where we're going okay.
27:52Oh alright okay.
28:01It's not working.
28:06That's what I'm trying to get okay.
28:08Yeah so just roll over and we'll keep playing.
28:10Okay.
28:23It's not that one.
28:24That one's stuck.
28:25It's a steak.
28:33Okay here we go.
28:34So we're asleep.
28:38I don't want to just raise one sound.
28:39Okay here we go.
28:40Oh there we go.
28:41Tom.
28:45I'm getting up.
28:46I can't.
28:47Okay.
28:48I know it doesn't worry you but.
28:49Oh.
28:50Oh.
28:51I apologize.
28:52And that is being a man.
28:55Oh.
28:56Oh my God.
28:57Oh my God.
28:58Oh my God.
28:59I'm getting up I can't.
29:00Oh my God.
29:04Tom, I'm getting up. I can't. I know it doesn't worry you, but oh.
29:15I apologise. And that is being a man.
29:25Oh, thank God. I was stuck.
29:28And you don't have YouTube Premium.
29:34And I didn't have my glasses and I couldn't see the button. It was just a disaster.
29:38But you accidentally really honed in on something.
29:40Which was? Something very manly.
29:42I mean, how many times have you watched a middle-aged man fumble their way through YouTube?
29:48Because they've got no idea what they're doing.
29:51Okay, great. That was actually what I was meant.
29:54It was totally what we were getting at.
29:56Alright, it's time for a break. Have you checked your prostate lately?
30:00Back with more Man Chat soon.
30:04Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster, where we've just been hanging out with our wangs out.
30:22Yes, that's right. We've had four versions of a man.
30:24Now here's an attempt at Superman. It's Takashi Wakasugi.
30:28Thank you so much for coming, Tomasina.
30:30You are so beautiful. My heart's burning like a global warming.
30:34I'm so hot. You are so hot.
30:36What, you want to drink anything?
30:37A minute's early, but let's have a few cocktails.
30:39Cocktails? Any time.
30:41You look very beautiful with cocktails.
30:43She's a bitch.
30:45She betrayed me and she stole my money.
30:49I'm gonna kill her.
30:51I can feel something. Someone watching.
30:54There!
30:55See you in hell.
30:57Ah! Tomasina!
31:00Ah!
31:05Wakas!
31:06You are so beautiful. I love you.
31:08No!
31:10Wakas!
31:12No!
31:14You look okay.
31:37You don't look okay.
31:38Sorry for the wait.
31:40Let's talk about your dream.
31:43Cheers for our future.
31:52Oh, thank you. What a guy.
31:56So, Waka, what was you thinking here?
31:59You know, strong, protect, and still make the promise.
32:03Bring the cocktails.
32:06Yeah. You took a bullet as well?
32:07Yeah. Yeah, between the eyes.
32:09Yeah, I like the way you dive through the air and you took all the bullets in your chest and then you turned around and it was in your head.
32:18Lots of things going on, yeah.
32:20And also now I understand why you guys kiss each other.
32:25Tom is very attractive.
32:32I must say, this is one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to score.
32:35Mm.
32:36Because they're all very, very manly.
32:37But I'm going to give one point to Tommy.
32:38Okay.
32:39But that's just, that's where we're at.
32:41That's the base manly level is smashing a toilet and yelling out a gladiator quote.
32:45That's where we're at.
32:47I'm really happy to take his one.
32:48I don't think one is very good.
32:49No. I'll take you one.
32:50A man would never let you.
32:51Okay.
32:54Very good.
32:55Well, I'm going to give two points to Lisa because fumbling through YouTube was still very manly, despite that being a mistake.
33:00Three points to Emma for the Tarantino film because it was great.
33:04Oh, unpopular opinion.
33:07Maybe you haven't watched this show, Emma.
33:09I don't give a shit what they think.
33:12That's been firmly established.
33:14And if you are on Reddit at the moment, you can all go f*** yourselves.
33:17I'm going to give four points to Husey because being honest with your emotions, it's a lot.
33:24But I'm going to give five points to Waka because I mean, that was just a bloodthirsty, entertaining look at manliness.
33:34All right, slice me up a fresh task, please, and lesser Tom.
33:38Sure, like Joseph taking his wife to the beach, this one's about to get Mary Shelley.
33:42Tommy!
33:59Hi Dave.
34:00How are you?
34:01Oh my god.
34:02It's good.
34:07Oopsie.
34:08Dress as Frankenstein, then video call someone in your contacts.
34:13If they allude to how you're dressed.
34:15You must end your phone call immediately.
34:18If you tell them not to mention how you're dressed, you will be disqualified.
34:21Best dress. Frankenstein wins.
34:24All other people will be scored based on who has the longest video call.
34:28You have 15 minutes to dress.
34:29Then five minutes to begin your video call.
34:32Your time starts now.
34:33All right, Frankenstein. Frankenstein.
34:35Okay, I'm going to go and get dressed as Frankenstein.
34:41Okay, great, so a simple one.
34:42But just to be clear, they don't have to mention that they're Frankenstein.
34:45No.
34:46They just cannot talk about their appearance.
34:47Any mention of the contestant's appearance, they need to hang up immediately and that's the end of the call.
34:51And that's it. All right, who are we going to see first?
34:53Calling their family, it's Tommy and Emma.
34:55Yeah, I'm going to get some stuff.
34:57What does Frankenstein look like?
34:58How long have we got?
34:5912 minutes and 18 seconds.
35:00Okay.
35:01Okay.
35:03Okay, I'm ready.
35:08Okay, I'm going to try my little sister.
35:10I've got an ace up my sleeve.
35:11My dad, he's pretty blind.
35:15I think I'm just going to talk at her.
35:17Okay.
35:18Not let her have a word in.
35:19Oh my God, I look so green.
35:21Are you busy?
35:22Yeah.
35:23Oh my God.
35:24Um, I have to tell you a story.
35:25Frankenstein is a frame story written in epistolary form.
35:28Set in the 18th century, it documents a fictional correspondence between Captain Robert Walton and his sister Margaret Walton Seville.
35:40Hello, Pa.
35:41How are you?
35:42I'm good.
35:43How are you?
35:44Yeah, I'm pretty good.
35:46I'm pretty good.
35:47After departing from Archangel, the ship is trapped by pack ice on the journey from the Arctic Ocean.
35:53Named Victor Frankenstein from a drift ice float.
35:56Victor begins by telling of his childhood, born in Naples Italy into a wealthy Genevan family.
36:01Are you busy?
36:02No.
36:03Okay, great.
36:04From a young age, Victor has a strong desire to understand the world.
36:06Hey, are the mighty pies going to win tonight?
36:08Well, nobody thinks so, yeah?
36:10I think, uh...
36:11He thinks it's a bump call.
36:13Honestly, it's just a video of his neck.
36:15He's actually having...
36:16Well, we can talk about something else if you want to.
36:19You know what?
36:20No, I'm going to keep reading this to you.
36:21Victor buries himself in his experiments to deal with the grief.
36:24I'm around next weekend.
36:25Are you up for brekkie or something like that?
36:27What about that?
36:28This is just a personal call.
36:30Can I hang up soon?
36:32Whatever you want.
36:33Oh, thanks for calling.
36:34Love you, miss you, and I'll see you next weekend.
36:37Okay, will do.
36:38Okay, bye.
36:39Bye.
36:40Do you have anything else to say?
36:44Anything to comment on?
36:45Um, are you dressed like Frankenstein?
36:48Oh.
36:49Sorry for swearing.
36:52He just thought it was a phone call.
36:55The video was on his ear the whole time.
36:57Except, did you see, right at the end,
37:00he's just seen a green man
37:04that he's just been chatting to
37:06with a panicked look on his face.
37:08I'm just like, oh, shit.
37:10He's on to me.
37:12I reckon that went okay.
37:13It felt like a long call.
37:15Surely I'm going to win this one.
37:22You made a really good point, Tommy.
37:23Let's just have a look at the moment
37:25that Tommy's dad hung up on him.
37:32It does look like he saw your green face for the first time.
37:35Oh, I still don't think he knows.
37:37Because we had to get a release form to sign
37:40and I thought, Dad's going to have some questions
37:42about why I filmed his phone call.
37:44And I said, Dad, can you sign this?
37:46And all he said was,
37:47when am I going to be on TV?
37:54But you really lucked onto something
37:56because he answered a video call as an audio call.
37:58Yes.
37:59So he wasn't looking at you the whole time.
38:01Now, did it feel like a long phone call?
38:03It was the longest phone call I've ever had with my dad.
38:06Okay.
38:07So it took a task for you to bond with your dad.
38:11Yeah, I don't think that's unusual.
38:12Yes.
38:14Okay, well, Emma, great strategy.
38:16You justified your appearance straight away
38:18and then you just barrelled into a really long story
38:20that your sister didn't want to hear.
38:21I pulled out the Wikipedia page for Frankenstein
38:24and just read from top to bottom.
38:26You just kept reading the whole thing.
38:27Yeah.
38:28Just kept barrelling through.
38:29I feel like you've got the kooky, confident sister vibes
38:31from the way that she was putting up with you.
38:33That's...
38:34I don't think it's the weirdest phone call we've ever had.
38:38Alright, well, I feel like we need to know
38:39how long those phone calls went for.
38:41The longest call Tommy's ever had with his dad.
38:44Five minutes and 57 seconds.
38:49Emma's wicky feet, on the other hand,
38:51went for 13 minutes and 26 seconds.
38:53Alright, who's our next cold, covered in make-up caller?
38:59Calling their son and their friend respectively,
39:01and hopefully also respectfully,
39:03it's Lisa and Rucka.
39:06I didn't worry about the bottom half
39:08because I kind of figure that it's kind of...
39:10but then I'm going to see the bottom half.
39:14Two questions?
39:15Okay.
39:16Is it a bit dangerous to put glue to my body, skin?
39:21What's happening in your neck?
39:22That's...
39:23Frankenstein had the neck cut off.
39:25Just had to put it back on.
39:26Oh, okay.
39:27I'm going to call my son.
39:28Not my mum.
39:29Not my mum.
39:31Scary.
39:33Hari Jun, my comedian friend.
39:39Hi mate, how are you?
39:40Are you good?
39:41Hey, I was just ringing to see,
39:42is the shower still leaking?
39:44Hey.
39:45Hello, Hari.
39:46What the ****?
39:47How are you?
39:48How are you going?
39:49How are you?
39:50How's your gig?
39:51The Melbourne changing time things?
39:52Did I have a haircut?
39:53Did I have a haircut?
39:54Yeah, I've just...
39:59Why do you look like that?
40:01How many people there?
40:03Why do you look like that?
40:05It wasn't very long, was it?
40:14I didn't say anything.
40:16He said, why do you look like that?
40:18Of course!
40:20If he didn't say anything, he's...
40:24an idiot.
40:25Who did you ring up?
40:26I'm Hari.
40:27Hari Jun, my comedian friend.
40:28Oh, he's a comedian?
40:29Yep.
40:30He's very funny.
40:31Oh, okay.
40:32Well, you're just wanting to show off that you're on Taskmaster.
40:33No, he's a nice guy.
40:34And a bit sad, the result.
40:35But I'm happy.
40:36Hari's the normal guy.
40:37Oh, so you were relieved that your friend was normal?
40:38Yeah.
40:39He didn't ask me.
40:40That's his problem.
40:41So, Lisa, you tried to engage your teenage son with a chat about a leaky shower head.
40:58Yeah, look, I thought Oliver would have played ball a little better than he did.
41:02But then, I think I may have overdone it with the hair.
41:05If I had just done the face, he might have just thought, oh, mum's got a face mask on.
41:08And he might have kept going.
41:09I know now, it's about getting the balance right.
41:12Because I don't look great in the morning.
41:13And I think that that's probably...
41:15He kind of is used to seeing a certain decay.
41:19Alright, I think we need to look at the times.
41:21Walker's phone call with his very normal friend lasted 14 seconds.
41:28Yep, but he's normal.
41:30Lisa's phone call with her very normal son lasted 13 seconds.
41:33Oh, great!
41:35Alright, sit back and keep your eyes glued to these advertisements.
41:40Unless you're Tommy's dad, then get up close and put your ear to them.
41:43Back soon!
41:44Hello, welcome back to a collection of carefully arranged pixels and sound waves, otherwise known as Taskmaster.
42:05What's happening?
42:06Our contestants are dressing as Frankenstein and trying to have the longest video call they can before someone mentions their appearance.
42:12Next up, he loves an energy drink, but can he become a monster?
42:15It's Dave Hughes.
42:17Have you read the book Frankenstein?
42:19I would have, yeah.
42:20Absolutely, I would have.
42:21But years ago.
42:22But I know Frankenstein is a monster created by Dr. Frankenstein.
42:29Oh, dress as Frankenstein.
42:32Frankenstein is not the monster.
42:35Frankenstein's the doctor.
42:37I've already cracked the code here.
42:39Best dressed Frankenstein wins.
42:42So I've got to dress like a doctor.
42:47Alright.
42:51Who are you going to call?
42:52What about Andy Lee?
42:53I'm just going to talk about stuff, yeah?
42:58Hey buddy, how are you going?
43:01Where am I?
43:02Where am I?
43:03I'm just cruising.
43:04Where are you man?
43:05What are you doing?
43:06I'm at Grill, I'm about to have a burger.
43:08You're going to have a burger?
43:09I'm grilled, that's cool man.
43:10What sort of burger are you going to have?
43:14What's going on?
43:15So, yeah, you're going, well, the blues are having a good year, aren't they mate?
43:20So, yeah.
43:21Are you, are you going to be coming out and skip out?
43:27I'm pretty good.
43:33Well, I had many predictions about you before this show, Husey,
43:36and one of them was not you being across classical literature.
43:40I'm more well read than I look like I am.
43:42So, yeah, and that was, I'm so you dickheads.
43:49I was so impressed.
43:50That, I found out then.
43:54Can I point out that even Emma didn't realise that Frankenstein described the doctor
43:58and she read the entire Wikipedia page.
44:07Just to be clear, so whoever was the best Frankenstein just gets five points.
44:10That's right.
44:11And we don't judge them by the length of the phone call.
44:12That's right.
44:13That means Husey's on five.
44:14Yes.
44:15And then one point goes to Lisa because she had the shortest phone call.
44:18Then we have Wacka with two points, Tommy with three, Emma with four.
44:21But Dave Hughes wins the task with five points.
44:23All right, you little Frankensteins.
44:28Up on the stage for the last task of the show.
44:36All right, who's doing the honours this time, Squirt?
44:38Dave Hughes will read the task.
44:40Choose an item to place in the vessel to raise the water level.
44:45Once an item has been touched, it must go in the jar.
44:49If you cause the jar to overflow, you are eliminated.
44:53Last person standing wins.
44:57Lisa, please select an item.
44:59I'm going to start off really, really conservatively.
45:03You know, just to kind of get us going.
45:05Wacka.
45:07Nice.
45:08Oh, okay.
45:09I'm going to put Star Fishing back home.
45:13I'm going to write my own story.
45:14Are you the doctor or the monster?
45:17I'm going with Tommy Little.
45:28That's in.
45:32Dave, did you just touch an item?
45:35You have to put that item in when it's your turn.
45:40Dave, you must select the poker chips.
45:44I was hoping one would drop off.
45:48It's touching liquid.
45:49Oh.
45:52There we go.
45:54Oh, look at that.
45:56What's he doing?
45:57Some of it's touching liquid.
46:00No way.
46:04It's touching liquid.
46:05I don't know what I'm doing.
46:07Just going to try this.
46:12That was overflow.
46:13See you later, guys.
46:14That was not a ping-pong ball.
46:15That is a ping-pong ball filled with concrete.
46:19I don't see any overflow.
46:20It's in.
46:21It's in.
46:26It's in.
46:28It's in.
46:30It's in.
46:33It's in.
46:35It's in.
46:38Oh.
46:39It's in.
46:43It's in.
46:44It is a weighted ducky
46:50There's overflow, Dave Hughes has been eliminated
46:58Okay, Tommy, please select an item
47:02It's in
47:04Two seconds
47:10It's in
47:18There's overflow, that's dripping
47:22Michael is eliminated
47:26Alright, that jar is certainly more than half full
47:29But I'm optimistic we will find a winner
47:31See you after the break
47:40Welcome back to Taskmaster
47:47We've had blokes, jokes and things that don't float
47:50But we're not done yet
47:51That's right, we're in the middle of a live task
47:52We're down to the final two
47:54The person who overflows this receptacle will be eliminated
47:58Emma, please select an item
47:59It's in
48:06Oh no, it's real cheap
48:09Emma Holland is the winner
48:17Well done
48:20Alright, mop up the stage so we can mop up the scores and find a winner
48:25Alright, so how do we hand out the scores there?
48:31Well, Lisa gets one point, Dave on two
48:34Waka three, Tommy gets four points
48:36But Emma wins the task with five points
48:37Okay, before we get our episode winner
48:42How's the series looking after three episodes?
48:45Well, Lisa, Tommy, Waka and Dave are all bumping shoulders in the pack
48:48But a length ahead is Emma on 54 points
48:50So who's the episode winner?
48:57Lisa's in last place with eight points
48:59Then we've got Waka with 14, Dave with 15, Tommy with 17
49:02But winning a second episode is Emma with 21 points
49:04Alright, congratulations Emma
49:07Go up on stage and claim your swanky crap
49:10So what have we learned?
49:14Well, Husey taught everyone that Frankenstein is the doctor
49:17Because incredibly, he's read the book
49:19But more importantly, he's learning right now that
49:23In Murder on the Orient Express style
49:25It was all of us who crapped in his dunny
49:27Once more, well done Emma
49:32And well done to all of us for another cracker of an episode
49:35Nighty night!
49:35Thank you