- 6/21/2025
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Short filmTranscript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:27Let me out of here!
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:41It's another week and yet again they have succeeded
00:44in shaving my body down, lathering it in oil
00:47and slipping me into my Tom Gleeson skin suit.
00:50I am, of course, Carl Sandilands.
00:53And welcome to Taskmaster.
00:55And competing for this trophy of my golden noggin,
01:01five people who are definitely not Carl Sandilands.
01:05They are Dave Hughes,
01:08Emma Holland,
01:10Lisa McHugh,
01:12Takashi Wakasugi,
01:14and Tommy Little.
01:16Hello.
01:18And sitting next to me, a man who, when he uses a urinal,
01:21he has the trousers and undies down around his ankles.
01:24It's Tom Cashman.
01:26Alright, slap as a prize task on the grill, please, Lesser Tom.
01:32Of course, our first task is a prize task.
01:34Each of our contestants have brought in a prize
01:36and the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
01:39Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
01:41what they consider to be the most disappointing purchase.
01:45Ooh.
01:46Okay.
01:47Disappoint me, Wakka.
01:48I bought a grinder pepper.
01:51Ooh.
01:52Ooh.
01:54So, because you never finish the pepper inside.
01:58It's always grinder part broken.
02:00Wakka, no question on technique, though.
02:03Some people grind from here,
02:04but some people like to get a bit of height
02:06and grind from here.
02:09Why he's so horny all the time?
02:11I'm talking about pepper.
02:17Isn't it good to see the comedy of Tommy Little back again?
02:22Alright, Emma, what did you bring in?
02:24Well, it's probably easier if I just show you.
02:26Okay.
02:31So, this is a taxidermied rat with a vacuum cleaner.
02:34I thought it was going to be alive.
02:36So, you were disappointed because you thought it was actually
02:40going to just start to clean your house.
02:43Yeah.
02:45The vacuum's so small,
02:46it would have to empty it so often.
02:48Well, that's not my problem
02:49and that's not what I'm paying him for.
02:52Alright, Dave, what did you bring in?
02:54I brought in a purchase that my wife purchased.
02:57It wasn't my purchase.
02:58It is anti-dandruff shampoo.
03:01I don't use it often enough
03:03and she's really disappointed by that.
03:05I'm happy with this shirt tonight
03:07because the other day I was wearing a really dark shirt
03:08and our wardrobe really had to work extra hard
03:12in the ad breaks to...
03:14Yeah.
03:15You would have needed a little rat with a vacuum cleaner
03:17to clean it all up.
03:22Lisa, what has disappointed you?
03:24I wanted you.
03:25I purchased a churros maker
03:27and, look, I did use it once
03:29and they just came out a little soggy
03:31and a bit kind of flaccid so they...
03:34Just calm down, Tommy.
03:36Sorry, sorry.
03:37You can let some through to the keeper, mate.
03:39That was such a good one!
03:41They look tasty.
03:43I think it's a good...
03:44Well, they are.
03:45I think you just have to put a lot more oil in
03:46and really get the fat going on them
03:48to make them nice and stiff.
03:49Ha ha!
03:55Nobody wants a floppy one.
04:01Penis!
04:07Sorry, I've just been calmly waiting for an edit point.
04:09Ha ha ha ha!
04:11Tommy!
04:12What did you bring in?
04:13When I was learning to fly planes,
04:15you had to buy the study stuff
04:17and it was all quite expensive
04:18and one of the items in it was an
04:20EB-6 flight computer that calculates wind
04:23and I'm like, this is going to be unbelievable.
04:25I can't wait to get this new computer.
04:27This is what it is.
04:31It's just a spinny wheel, Tom.
04:33Looks pretty cool to me.
04:34It probably works.
04:35But it was $1500 bucks with the books.
04:37I thought the computer was the big ticket item
04:41of the $1500 bucks.
04:42And it's just a spinny wheel.
04:44But that is an actual computer.
04:45What do you mean?
04:46A computer is just something that computes.
04:48I know you think you're being smart now,
04:50but if you were...
04:51No, no, no. I don't think it.
04:52I know it.
04:53I know it.
04:54If you were...
04:55There's one person clapping.
04:58Being smart's not popular
04:59and I don't give a shit.
05:00I'd rather be smart.
05:02I'd rather be unpopular
05:03and not thick like you, Tommy.
05:05Are you...
05:06I know how to fly a plane, Tom.
05:13Alright, well I've got to score this.
05:14Yeah.
05:15The least disappointing for me
05:16was Tommy
05:17because he was disappointed by a computer
05:18which was clearly a computer.
05:20So one point to Tommy.
05:21Two points to Dave.
05:22Okay.
05:23You yourself said it's more disappointing
05:24for your wife.
05:25I'm going to say Emma's taxidermy rat.
05:27You must have been so excited.
05:29Then unfortunately it was dead
05:30so it didn't actually vacuum anything.
05:31Then I'm going to give Lisa four points
05:33for the electric churros maker
05:34because it's...
05:35Yeah, it does sound like
05:36it created some very disappointing churros
05:38that look like cocks.
05:41I didn't say that
05:42but thank you.
05:44But I'm going to give
05:45five points to Waka
05:46because of his disappointing pepper shaker
05:48because he can never get all the peppercorns out.
05:54Okay, another disappointment.
05:55I now give you the appointment
05:57of doling up a proper task, Lester Tom.
05:59Very well.
06:00We're back to the warehouse
06:01for a photo shoot
06:02with hundreds of people.
06:03Hey Tom Tom.
06:19God, this is spectacular isn't it?
06:22Magnificent location.
06:24This is a cool place.
06:26I like it.
06:27It's a weird spot to have a hat.
06:33Take up to 100 photos of yourself
06:36somewhere in this warehouse
06:37and wear this red hat in one of them.
06:39You must take all your photos
06:40from the same spot.
06:42Your photos will be edited together
06:44into one photo.
06:45Photo that makes the taskmaster
06:47take longest to find red-hatted you wins.
06:50You have 20 minutes.
06:52Your time starts now.
06:54How can I hide red-hatted me?
06:56It's rather bright.
06:58The best bet would probably be
06:59to have other red stuff in it.
07:01So essentially I just have to find
07:07whichever of them has a red hat on
07:08in the photo.
07:09That's it?
07:10That's right.
07:11So it's like Wes Wally.
07:12Well, generic red stripey
07:13Heidi glasses man.
07:14Why are you not saying it?
07:15Because of laws.
07:18What are you frightened of?
07:20Red tape?
07:22Red tape then white tape
07:23then red tape then white tape.
07:24Alright, well I'm going to need to see the screen for this one.
07:31So through the magic of television
07:33and your puny muscles, Lisa Tom,
07:34move me into position.
07:39Okay, Dave Hughes is up first.
07:40I've got my timer ready.
07:41Are you ready?
07:42Happy to play.
07:43Alright.
07:44Ready.
07:45Go.
07:46Alright.
07:47It's very menacing by the way, I should say.
07:49Straight up.
07:51Okay.
07:52Can you just zoom?
07:53Zoom into the centre.
07:54Keep going.
07:55Yep.
07:56Zooming.
08:00You didn't say stop zooming.
08:01That's enough. Stop.
08:02Stop zooming.
08:03Think we need to go to the right.
08:07Maybe zoom out first.
08:11Stop zooming.
08:12To the right.
08:13It is confronting.
08:14Stop.
08:15Zoom in.
08:16I think I can see him.
08:17Found it.
08:18Right there in the centre.
08:19Little head poking out.
08:20Yeah, that's correct.
08:26Respectable time.
08:27One minute and 12 seconds.
08:28Alright.
08:29To find the Dave Hughes wearing the red hat.
08:30Yeah.
08:31Is this a bad time to say I'm colour blind?
08:34Alright, let's keep playing.
08:35Alright, Emma Holland is up next.
08:36You ready?
08:37Okay.
08:38Yep.
08:39Oh God.
08:41Oh, there's red everywhere.
08:42Okay.
08:43I've got to see.
08:44Have a look here.
08:45If I was Emma, where would I put it?
08:46I'd put it far away from the camera.
08:47So I'm going to go.
08:48Can you just zoom in to the top left corner?
08:50Because I'm thinking that's what you'd do.
08:52Keep going.
08:53Zoom in further there.
08:54Top left.
08:55Oh, stop.
08:56Oh.
08:57It looks like it's...
08:58Just go up a bit.
09:00Okay.
09:01What am I looking at now?
09:02Oh yeah.
09:03I can see it.
09:04Oh, where is it?
09:05The bottom of that ladder.
09:06Just right in the centre.
09:07Correct.
09:11Not on her head.
09:12Does that matter?
09:13Did you specify that it had to be on the head?
09:14You have to be wearing the hat.
09:15It's up to you whether that counts as wearing, I guess.
09:17I guess...
09:18It's not a traditional wear.
09:19That's wear.
09:20You've just got to wear it somewhere on your person, I guess.
09:21Do you?
09:22You could disqualify her straight away.
09:25You found red-hatted Emma in one minute and nine seconds.
09:29Not bad.
09:30Can I just say, you have no idea what it feels like playing this game with a room full of nerds behind you.
09:37Yeah.
09:39Who is so desperate to yell out the answer.
09:42You know what I'm saying?
09:43It's like I'm sitting in front of Reddit.
09:47You know what I mean?
09:49And I don't like it.
09:51Alright, time for some advertisements.
09:52We'll see you soon and I'll be looking for more red hats.
09:55APPLAUSE
10:09Welcome back to Taskmaster, where someone in our crew has taken a hundred photos of our contestants
10:14and then put them all together in a collage.
10:17What a sicko.
10:19That's right, our contestants have taken up to a hundred photos, we've put them all together
10:22and only one of them is wearing a red hat and you've got to find the red hat as quickly as possible.
10:26Next up, we have Lisa McCune.
10:28OK.
10:29Ready, set, go.
10:31OK. Oh, God.
10:33Oh, there are hats everywhere.
10:34I can see all of them.
10:36Found it.
10:37In the foreground, she's wearing it there.
10:38At the front to the right.
10:39That's wearing it, isn't it?
10:40She's holding it on her head.
10:42Yeah, found it.
10:43OK.
10:44Is that it?
10:46Are you wearing it?
10:47I can't remember.
10:49I did it so many times.
10:51So Lisa's approach here was that she, in her view, wasn't technically wearing them except in one.
10:56Oh.
10:57But I think the precedent that we set with Emma has made the Taskmaster be, I suppose, more liberal with what constitutes a wear.
11:03Oh, no.
11:04Well, if Emma was wearing it on her front, then Lisa was wearing it several times in this particular picture.
11:09I found it as soon as the photo came up.
11:11Oh, my God.
11:12Oh, wow.
11:15Up next, we have Tommy Little's photo.
11:17Ready, set, go.
11:18Uh, alright.
11:19Where is he?
11:20Where's that little hat?
11:21He's hiding it.
11:22Go to the back of the picture, please.
11:23Right in the centre, zoom in.
11:25Zoom in.
11:26He'll be right at the back there somewhere, alright?
11:28Yeah.
11:29Shut up, you.
11:30Ooh.
11:32Alright, zoom back out again, please.
11:34Stop.
11:35OK.
11:36Just to the right.
11:38This is like a very low stakes version of CSI, isn't it?
11:41I reckon there's a lot of middle-aged women who have had this dream.
11:46I feel like it's not that different to what prison would look like to be honest.
11:52I'm just going to say, it looks like prison.
11:55OK, let's just zoom out a bit, please.
11:57Zoom out.
11:58OK, go left.
12:00Because I'm also thinking there's a big blank space to the left.
12:03There it is.
12:04Found it.
12:05Oh.
12:06It's on top of that red box.
12:07Yes.
12:08That's correct.
12:10As an effective method, there's a whole wall of Tommy's.
12:13I should have noticed the absence of Tommy's on the left.
12:15Yes.
12:16So the distraction worked.
12:17You took one minute and 56 seconds.
12:20OK.
12:23Well done, Tommy.
12:24Alright, Waka is our final contestant.
12:26Ready, set, go.
12:29Alright.
12:30Ooh, lots of red there, lots of red there.
12:31I'm looking around.
12:32Good.
12:33Waka has instituted the bin method.
12:35Yeah, as a distraction.
12:36It's very good.
12:37Found him.
12:38Wow.
12:39Third bin from the left at the back.
12:41Wow.
12:42That is correct.
12:45Good technique, though.
12:46OK, so what time did Waka get?
12:48You found it really quickly.
12:49It only took you 15 seconds.
12:53Waka, did you have to get out of the bin and then they move the bin and then you get in?
12:57Or could they wheel it with you in it?
12:58I wheeled them around 100 times.
13:00Did you?
13:03That was so stinky.
13:05Yeah.
13:06That was very stinky.
13:07Just to recap the times, we had Lisa with 10 seconds.
13:10Waka, only 15 seconds.
13:12Emma, you found in 1 minute and 9 seconds.
13:14Dave, 1 minute and 12 seconds.
13:16And Tommy, it took you 1 minute and 56 seconds.
13:18Which means, Lisa gets 1 point.
13:20Waka gets 2.
13:21Emma gets 3.
13:22Dave gets 4.
13:23But Tommy wins the task with 5 points.
13:28OK, another task please, Lisa Tom.
13:30OK, some tasks, they feature half a punch.
13:32Sometimes they have 3 quarters of a punch.
13:34This one has a hole punch.
13:49Hi Tom.
13:50Hi Tom Tom.
13:51Hello Thomas.
13:52Does anyone call you Thomas?
13:53Not really.
13:54Hello Thomas.
13:55Let's have a look.
13:56I'll stay here if that's okay.
13:59What is this?
14:00It's a hole punch.
14:01Oh.
14:02Careful of that sphere.
14:04I think it's magnifying light in such a way that it's potentially going to burn one of the pages.
14:10Oi, it's real hot.
14:11Yeah, don't do that, yeah.
14:14Punch the most holes in this document.
14:17From the furthest distance.
14:19Your attempt is complete when at least one hole has been punched.
14:23Most holes punched plus metres from the document when punched wins.
14:28You have 15 minutes.
14:30Your time starts now.
14:37So Tommy, when someone tells you you shouldn't touch something because it's hot, maybe you just don't touch it.
14:42But what is it?
14:43What if no one else has touched it before and I'm the first to touch it?
14:47And then I get to tell everybody how good touching it was.
14:51So, straightforward stuff pretty much.
14:52So you've just got to punch a hole through as many pages as possible.
14:55That's right.
14:56From as far away as possible.
14:57Yeah, metres plus holes punched.
14:58Okay.
14:59That's the final score.
15:00Who's punching away first?
15:01Let's hope there are holes in their documents, but not in their plans.
15:04It's Emma and Tommy.
15:06Oi.
15:07Grab that.
15:09What the f*** Tom?
15:14I went to Cubs.
15:15I never went to Scouts.
15:16And I was the only person to not get one bag.
15:18Not one.
15:19You didn't do Scouts or anything?
15:20No.
15:21I did horse riding.
15:22Every girl I know got kicked by a horse at some point.
15:24I never got kicked by a horse.
15:25And they all deserved it.
15:26Can you come and stand on it?
15:27Okay.
15:28Each time I pull, can you go...
15:30Oh, sorry.
15:31I focused on the ugh, not the standing.
15:34Oh.
15:35The only other thing I can think is to tip the tyre down the hill.
15:38Okay.
15:40That would be miraculous.
15:42Is there a hole in it?
15:43None.
15:44Oh, no.
15:4590 seconds left.
15:46Quick, quick.
15:47Give me the document down here.
15:48F***ing hell.
15:49This is thrilling!
15:51Hole?
15:52No hole.
15:53No hole.
15:54Take it.
15:56Come on.
15:58Come on.
15:5940 seconds.
16:00Can you hold this?
16:01Okay.
16:02Come on.
16:07Tom.
16:08You didn't warn me.
16:0925 seconds.
16:12Okay.
16:13One.
16:14Two.
16:15Three.
16:18Oh, my gosh.
16:19What can warm bottles do when they walk it in?
16:21When they walk it in!
16:27When they walk it in!
16:29Whoa!
16:30There's a hole?
16:34There's a hole.
16:35Awesome.
16:36Thanks for checking out my hole.
16:43Tommy, it would have been great if it worked.
16:45I know!
16:46It was thrilling to watch.
16:47Mate, what a ride.
16:49That was you.
16:50We were all on board there, even me.
16:51I wanted you to be successful.
16:54I don't know what's worse.
16:55When you lie to yourself or you lie to me.
16:57Okay, so Emma, wool to hold down the hole punch.
17:02I spent so long trying to find tape and I couldn't find it anywhere.
17:06And so wool was my next best.
17:08But even tape.
17:09I mean, that's up the craft end of the spectrum, not the DIY end of the spectrum, I feel.
17:13Yeah, have you met me?
17:14Yeah, I have.
17:15Tom, I'm a crafty lady.
17:17Okay, and you also said, thanks for checking out my hole.
17:21Are you dabbling in the comedy of Tommy Little?
17:25I don't get it.
17:26Oh, it's...
17:27Hole has a...
17:28Can you explain it to me, please?
17:30Hole can refer to your vagina.
17:32What's a hole punch then?
17:33Wow.
17:34Hang on.
17:35Sorry.
17:36Hey everyone.
17:37It's okay.
17:38Tommy's picked up the ball and he's running with it.
17:39Are we riffing at the moment?
17:40Are we riffing?
17:41I thought if there's other people in the shallow end of the pool, we may as well play.
17:55Well, what result did Emma get?
17:58Well, Tommy dared to get zero, as we know.
18:01Emma chose to put one piece of paper in the hole punch.
18:04Emma put two holes, plus she was 22.2 metres away, so her score is 24.2.
18:09Okay.
18:10That's impressive.
18:11Okay, I want to see more holes punched at a distance.
18:16Next up, using stationary to keep their scores moving, it's Lisa and Dave.
18:20So if I just throw this there and it hits there and it goes down and punches a hole, the task is over.
18:26Maybe that can go in there somehow.
18:29It's got to be a reasonable amount that it's going to actually do the job.
18:34Alright, here we go.
18:35Um, just stop that going in.
18:37Wait a sec.
18:38I've just got...
18:39You've got stuff in your pockets?
18:40Yeah, I like to carry a few different, you just never ever know if you might need it.
18:44I think.
18:45That can clip over like that.
18:50I'm just going to see whether or not I can get that to come down.
18:54No, I think it's...
18:55Alright, I'm going to go closer.
18:56I just don't know whether or not it's going to...
18:57No, that's not...
18:58I just need another lever.
18:59There's a hole!
19:00That's worked!
19:01Am I out of time?
19:02There's a hole in the document.
19:03Is there?
19:04How many holes have I done?
19:05I can only see one.
19:06No, there's another one.
19:07I've done at least two.
19:08I think I'm proud of myself, but I'm not...
19:09I'm completely sure I am proud of myself, but I think I am.
19:34I'm going to go and rethink that.
19:37So, Lisa, you had a premature hole punch.
19:42Yeah, I mean, I was working towards something bigger and I accidentally punched a hole.
19:46Yeah?
19:47Yeah, sorry about that.
19:48I am sorry.
19:49I thought it was a good answer.
19:50You don't have to apologise to us.
19:51You still did better than me.
19:52I know.
19:53I really thought I was on time.
19:54If I apologise for every time I was a bit shit, all I'd do was be apologised.
19:58Well, I won't apologise.
19:59I'll just say it could have been better.
20:00And also, we've talked about it.
20:01Sometimes you're a bit too polite, Lisa.
20:03On this show, I want you to cut sick.
20:05Okay.
20:06This is your time.
20:07This is...
20:08No-one cares around here.
20:09He s*** didn't let me have a good day.
20:11Oh my God!
20:12Thanks, guys.
20:13God, that felt f***ing good.
20:14Oh my God, you've unleashed the dragon.
20:17That was incredible.
20:18I've got to say, I've been working away at that for seven episodes and it paid off.
20:24Okay.
20:25So, Hughsy.
20:26Yes.
20:27Did you ever stop and think there could be other things on the property?
20:41He was like, oh, grab, throw.
20:42I'm just saying, it didn't...
20:43It didn't feel like a complicated strategy.
20:58No, it wasn't.
20:59It was exactly how you described it.
21:02But also, you know, TV's tough.
21:05You know, it's not an easy gig these days and we all want to get the show done on time and
21:10on budget.
21:11And I think that helped.
21:13Both Lisa and Dave managed two holes punched.
21:17Lisa was 1.7 metres away.
21:19Dave was 3.1 metres away.
21:21So Lisa gets a score of 3.7.
21:23Dave gets 5.1.
21:25Oh, well done.
21:27Alright.
21:28Go on then.
21:29Punch the card for one more.
21:30They call him wakka, but can he wak from afar?
21:32It's Takashi Wakasugi.
21:33Oh!
21:34Crania.
21:35Domino's.
21:36Domino's.
21:37So I put tyres here.
21:38And the last one's gonna be...
21:40Oh!
21:41Did you see that?
21:42More tyres.
21:43Good.
21:44Two more.
21:45Still walking.
21:46Still walking.
21:47I know.
21:48First work.
21:49Right there, yeah.
21:50Okay.
21:51Alright.
21:52This is far.
21:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
21:54Look, I forgot.
21:55I'm gonna put paper.
21:56Alright.
21:57Alright.
21:58Alright.
21:59Alright.
22:00Three.
22:01Two.
22:02One.
22:03Not yet.
22:04Not yet.
22:05Not yet.
22:06Not yet.
22:07Not yet.
22:08One minute and 27 seconds.
22:09I still have time.
22:10It's okay.
22:11Go.
22:12Ah!
22:13One minute, one minute.
22:14One minute and two seconds left.
22:15Yeah, yeah.
22:16We have still time.
22:17No rush.
22:18No rush.
22:19I'm tired.
22:2030 seconds.
22:21Can you count every second now?
22:2217.
22:23Okay.
22:24Yeah.
22:25Yeah.
22:26Yeah.
22:27Yeah.
22:28Yeah.
22:29Yeah.
22:30Yeah.
22:31Yeah.
22:32Yeah.
22:33Yeah.
22:34Yeah.
22:35Yeah.
22:36Yeah.
22:37Yeah.
22:38Yeah.
22:39Yeah.
22:40Yeah.
22:41Yeah.
22:42Alright.
22:43Alright.
22:44Alright.
22:45Alright.
22:4616, 15.
22:47Three, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2.
22:58I'm tired, it's very difficult, I'm very tired.
23:12Waka, you also dared to dream.
23:14Yes.
23:15I was so disappointed, you know, I couldn't sleep that night.
23:19Yeah, I mean, whenever you weren't there it worked really well, but whenever you got involved, it didn't work anymore.
23:25That's life.
23:28Every task I use a tyre never did well.
23:32I know.
23:33I hate tyres.
23:34I know.
23:35Waka's the only person I guess who maybe accidentally clued on to the number of holes being kind of quite relevant.
23:40Yes.
23:41Could have we just used our hands and just gone down?
23:44Arguably.
23:49So Waka may have been close, only 1.7 metres away, but he punched 68 holes.
23:54What?
23:58That means Tommy gets 0 points, Lisa gets 2, Dave gets 3, Emma gets 4, but Waka wins the task with 5 points.
24:03And in terms of episode scores, Tommy is in last place at the moment with 6 points, but Waka's in the lead with 12 points.
24:12APPLAUSE
24:15OK, you want another task?
24:16Sure, I'll give you another task right after these ads.
24:19That's right, I'm a dirty little task tease.
24:21But you know you love it.
24:22Back soon!
24:23Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster, where 5 desperate comedians are doing absolutely everything in their power to win a dead rat.
24:44That's right, love is in the air, but will it make its way into anyone's bodies?
24:49Let's find out with a team task.
24:50Come in.
24:51Did he knock?
24:52After his turn.
24:53Alright, thank you.
24:54Hi Tom.
24:55Hi Waka.
24:56Hello.
24:57Hi Dave.
24:58Hi Lisa.
24:59Hi Tommy.
25:00Hey Tom!
25:01Is he your favourite?
25:02I don't have favourites.
25:03Bullshit.
25:04Oh, there's a lot of words there.
25:05I can do this.
25:06I mean I'm happy to share it with you if you want to read a bit.
25:07Oh, yeah, yeah.
25:08Can we read?
25:09That's too long.
25:10Make these singles have chemistry on their first date.
25:11On their second date.
25:12They are both wearing earpieces.
25:13Oh, I'm sorry.
25:14You're a good girl.
25:15You're a good girl.
25:16I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
25:17You're a bad girl.
25:18You're a bad girl.
25:19You're a bad girl.
25:20You're a bad girl.
25:21You're a bad girl.
25:22You're a bad girl.
25:23You're a bad girl.
25:24No, you're a bad girl.
25:25But you're a bad girl.
25:26No, I'm sorry.
25:27What are you doing?
25:28Make these singles have chemistry on their first date.
25:31On their second date.
25:32They are both wearing earpieces.
25:34They will only say or do whatever you tell them to do.
25:38At least one person from your team must be in the study.
25:41And one must be outside.
25:43If you are in the study, you will be in control of her.
25:45If you are outside, you will be in control of him.
25:48Best chemistry wins.
25:50Your singles will arrive in 10 minutes.
25:51For their 20 minute date.
25:54Your time starts now.
25:55Is there something to be said about me feeding the man the lines
26:00and you guys feeding the woman?
26:01Because you've...
26:02Because we know what we want to receive.
26:05I really think that you should go with the girl
26:07and I should go with the boy.
26:08Alright.
26:08That's sexy dress.
26:11Yeah, that's fine. She can wear that.
26:12And the guy gonna wear...
26:13Is it yours?
26:14That's my pants.
26:15Why are you...
26:22Okay, so we're back with the team task.
26:24Yeah, that's right.
26:25I just got the sense that the boys are just a bit excited
26:27to be using walkie-talkies.
26:29That's what I really cared about.
26:31Alright, we better rip off the band-aid
26:32for these two unlucky in-love birds.
26:34Cashman, let's go.
26:36Call them cheese,
26:37because they're about to craft some singles.
26:38It's Wakka, Tommy and Emma.
26:45Oh my God.
26:49He looks good.
26:50She looks great.
26:52Can you ask her what is important to her in a relationship?
26:54What do you think is important in a relationship?
26:56Uh, knowing each other's names.
26:57Knowing each other's names.
26:58Knowing each other's names.
26:59What's yours?
27:00Say, Genghis.
27:01Genghis.
27:02Genghis.
27:03Genghis.
27:04Ask her what her goal is for the date.
27:06What's your sort of goal from this date?
27:08And if there's a silence, just start filling it with facts about catfish.
27:12Um, there's been a lot going on in the news about catfish recently.
27:32They either caught one and put your hands in a catfish.
27:41That's good.
27:42Keep doing that hand action.
27:43So imagine that's your mouth.
27:44Well it's not your mouth.
27:45Catfish mouth.
27:46In.
27:47Grasp.
27:48And like yank it out.
27:52So are you just going to sit with that guitar or are you going to strum something maybe?
27:57Okay, just start playing some chords.
28:00And now wink five times please.
28:06Just sing the song with the guitar.
28:11I love you so.
28:14I want you so.
28:17Okay just keep playing while she's singing.
28:20I want you so.
28:25Ask her if she wants to marry you.
28:27You want to marry me?
28:28Can I wear hat first?
28:31Um, can I wear hat first?
28:34Put the hat on her.
28:37Let's marry.
28:39Let's marry.
28:40The Taskmaster restaurant has closed.
28:43I love you so.
28:46I love you so.
28:49Sing along as you leave.
28:50I need you so.
28:52I need you so.
28:54The task is over guys.
28:55Can you please let her.
28:56Tell him he has to kiss the hat and then you'll leave.
28:58You have to kiss the hat and then I'll leave.
28:59The task is over guys.
29:00I don't have to do anything.
29:01Kiss the hat.
29:02Okay.
29:03Alright.
29:04I love you so.
29:05I love you so.
29:06Um, what were you thinking?
29:07I think we started quite well.
29:08And I'm glad you did this bro.
29:09But, Waka just started singing.
29:10I'm glad you did this bro.
29:11But, Waka just started singing.
29:39And it was wonderful.
29:42But then there was no turning back.
29:44Yeah.
29:45I did a singing task before.
29:47Yeah.
29:48And I got confident.
29:49Yeah.
29:50And I did again.
29:51Well, we all remember that task.
29:52I'm not sure if you should have been confident.
29:59Emma, I really think you made his grotty moustache hipster personality shine through.
30:05Yeah, look, I've come across a few of them in my lifetime.
30:08I know what I would have liked them to say on dates.
30:11Oh, so that's what you would like in a date.
30:16Yep.
30:19Well, and then, I mean, to be fair as well, the task had ended, but they still seemed to
30:23be in love.
30:24It was difficult to get them to leave.
30:27Alright, let's see the others then, eh?
30:30They seem like they've been married 20 years, so matters of the heart should come easy.
30:33It's Lisa and Dave.
30:35Well, you look beautiful.
30:36Better.
30:37Better.
30:38Better luck than ever, I suppose.
30:40Gareth?
30:41When you go in, tell her how beautiful she looks.
30:43Well.
30:44You look beautiful.
30:45Better.
30:46Better luck than ever, suppose.
30:47Just reach out and put your hand there and see if she holds it.
30:48I might just say, I hadn't noticed just how beautiful your eyes are.
30:58I noticed yours.
30:59I noticed yours.
31:00I'd also never noticed how thick your moustache was.
31:02Do you like anchovies?
31:03I also just never noticed how thick your moustache was.
31:08What made you grow a moustache?
31:10Are you hiding something?
31:11Just say you've got a scar from...
31:13A water skiing accident on a top lip.
31:16Oh my God, I love lakes.
31:18Oh my God, I love lakes.
31:20So do you.
31:21I too love lakes.
31:24I think we should start travelling.
31:33Where would you like to go?
31:35I would like to go...
31:38Into your heart.
31:39You already have my heart.
31:41So take my hand.
31:42Okay, you can hold my hand.
31:44You can hold my hand.
31:46Go down on your knee and propose to Chloe.
31:48Oh my God!
31:49God!
31:50And say for the time I have left on this earth,
31:53I want you to be mine.
31:58Is the moustache going to be for the wedding or not?
32:00Is the money going to be spent on the wedding or not?
32:02What about the moustache?
32:03My stache.
32:04No, the moustache.
32:06It's the moustache.
32:07I don't like it.
32:10Right.
32:11I was just wondering if you could help me out.
32:13Just tell her you've got a dicky disc in your back
32:14and you're just really struggling to get up.
32:16I've got a bit of a, you know,
32:17a bit of a dicky disc in my back, so just...
32:19We need Tom back to witness our wedding.
32:21Get Tom back in.
32:22Get Tom back in.
32:23Get Tom back in.
32:24There we go.
32:25Tom Marius.
32:27In the power that you've got.
32:28Put the hand back on the table.
32:30With the power that you've got.
32:32With the power that isn't vested in me
32:34as a waiter at the Taskmaster restaurant.
32:41Sorry.
32:42Oh my God.
32:43I love you, Gareth.
32:44I love you, Gareth.
32:49Thank you, Gareth.
32:50Thank you, Gareth.
32:51Thank you, Gareth.
32:52So the actors, were they single?
33:00So I should clarify, they weren't actors.
33:02They were real single people.
33:03Oh.
33:04Okay.
33:05Well, I do feel that the age team,
33:06I feel like there might have been more chemistry
33:07happening throughout that date.
33:09I mean, Lisa, you came in pretty strong there.
33:11Like, you really wanted to speed things up.
33:13Well, yeah, the lag is hard.
33:14Like, dealing with the lag is hard.
33:16Didn't you find?
33:17A lot of my stuff got lost in translation.
33:20So just another task for you, Dave.
33:23But also, you made her say thanks, Gareth.
33:26And then you said thanks, Gareth, to yourself.
33:29Well, I was saying thank you to him for being in the task.
33:32Thank you for going through that.
33:34Thanks, Gareth, to himself.
33:39Okay.
33:40So I'm going to say there was more chemistry for the age team.
33:42Okay.
33:43So I'm going to go five, five, three, three, three.
33:45Alright.
33:46Good.
33:47Well done, Dave.
33:48You've done that.
33:49Okay.
33:50Time for a break.
33:51You know what I'm going to do.
33:52I'm going to go to my dressing room and get nude and meditate.
33:56So to the fans who want to know the real Tom,
33:58there you go.
33:59Bye.
34:00Welcome back to Taskmaster.
34:14These task teats are full of tasty milk.
34:17Squeeze me out another task, Lester Tom.
34:19I truly can't wait for the honour.
34:21But first, a quick update on our episode scores.
34:23The winner at the moment is Wakka with 15 points.
34:29Okay, Tom, the body Cashman.
34:33Surf on up.
34:34Sure thing.
34:35Welcome to the Terror Dome.
34:52Tom?
34:53Right.
34:54Not Tom.
34:55I like it when he's not here.
34:56It's unsettling.
34:58Avoid getting wet by Tom.
34:59You must remain within the bunker.
35:00This is the bunker.
35:01Tom is outside the bunker but can't step inside.
35:03Longest to avoid getting wet wins.
35:05You have 20 minutes.
35:06Your time starts after Tom gives you an example of what he is capable of.
35:12Oh my god!
35:28I laugh at you.
35:33Ha ha ha! I laugh at you!
35:35Is that it?
35:36What do you mean?
35:37One water bomb and one super soccer?
35:39Oh, there's more where that came from, buddy boy.
35:48Lester Tom, I've never seen you so excited about a task.
35:51This one was a lot of fun.
35:53Alright, so tell me, Fritzl, who do we see first?
35:59I had to get into character for this one,
36:01like a spy movie villain but with water,
36:03so first up, Tommy, Dave and Lisa will meet Pond.
36:06James Pond.
36:14Mate, you're nowhere near it.
36:15What have you got, man?
36:17You have to do a lot better than that.
36:21It doesn't say that I'm allowed to use this.
36:23Oh, come on.
36:40He's over there, he's over there.
36:41Oh, this is so super creepy.
36:51Oh, there you are.
36:54Has anyone told you you play like a creepy psychopath,
36:58like quite well?
36:59I'm not playing a character.
37:04Where is he?
37:05Where is he?
37:17I got you, Lisa.
37:18OK.
37:26Got me!
37:27Oh, thanks, Dave.
37:31Thanks, Tom.
37:36Thanks, Tom.
37:36Thanks, Tommy.
37:42Did you get some revenge there, Tommy?
37:43Yeah.
37:45But that wasn't part of the task.
37:46That was just extra fun.
37:47No, but it was like my dessert.
37:51OK, so it seems like the best thing to do is just to run around.
37:53Yeah, I think keeping moving was a good strategy.
37:55But when he got Hughes-y, I feel like you were aiming for him,
37:58even though you couldn't see him.
37:59Were you listening to him?
38:00Yeah, Dave Hughes was quite vocal.
38:05Yeah, I like to express myself.
38:08And also give him a chance, you know.
38:10He works hard and he deserves.
38:15You do work really hard, man, so good on you.
38:19I feel like all of you are actually being quite honest,
38:21because Lisa had barely just got your ankle.
38:24Yeah, I didn't feel like I got that wet.
38:26Yeah, I know, but then you screamed in disgust,
38:28so you gave yourself up.
38:29Well, because I was having a lot of fun.
38:31Shall we look at some results then?
38:32Yes.
38:33So Hughes-y got wet in two minutes and 14 seconds.
38:35OK.
38:38Lisa took three minutes and 24 seconds,
38:40but Tommy eluded me for nine minutes and 39 seconds.
38:45Time for an ad break.
38:46And if you've got a bunker, this is your cue to go down
38:49and check the restraints around their ankles
38:51and just make sure they're still tight.
38:53Have fun. See you soon.
38:54Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:09What's going on, Cashman?
39:11At the moment, our contestants are in the Pterodome,
39:13trying to avoid being water bombed or water gunned.
39:15I can't get anyone else to call it the Pterodome.
39:18Next up, facing 00, decimal place seven, it's Waka and Emma.
39:27I saw it, I saw it, I saw it.
39:31Yes, yes.
39:43Tom, Tom, Tom, you should think more.
39:46You should think more.
39:53Good try, good try.
39:59You can't throw that.
40:02You're too good.
40:04What does 20 minutes mean?
40:06It's already 20 minutes?
40:07Ten seconds left.
40:09Put gun, put gun down.
40:13Yes!
40:13You're not wet?
40:15No, I'm just wet, but...
40:17That doesn't count, unfortunately.
40:20It's finished?
40:22That was the easy one.
40:23I got you!
40:31I really thought I'd done something, though.
40:33Uh, so, Waka, I kind of want to say, well done, but I'd prefer to say, Lesza Tom, you suck!
41:00No, no, no, he did well, he did well.
41:03He did well.
41:04Yeah, finally I could show you something like a ninja, ninja part.
41:07Yeah!
41:07Finally, finally.
41:09You must have known that you were onto a good thing when he got so desperate he threw his
41:12bloody toys into the cot.
41:14That feels good, that feels so good.
41:15Yeah, well, what were you thinking?
41:17You were just throwing your empty gun?
41:18I had to try something different.
41:19That's an extraordinary effort, Waka.
41:22I honestly, I'm so impressed by what you just did there.
41:24That was incredible.
41:26Do you believe him?
41:29I don't think we're giving Waka enough credit here.
41:30It was an incredible effort.
41:31He's trying, you won't shut up.
41:39So, Emma, you must have thought you found a brilliant hack.
41:42No, at no point did I think I'd nailed it.
41:45I think my fight or flight kicked in and it turns out I cower.
41:48I think maybe I thought that like I was covered by enough of it that he'd have to get it on my
41:54head and then he did that.
41:58What scores are we looking at?
41:59Well, Waka obviously I failed to get in the allocated 20 minutes.
42:03Emma I got in 57 seconds.
42:07So that means one point to Emma, two to Dave, three to Lisa, four to Tommy,
42:10but Waka wins the task with five points.
42:15Alright then, get your tushies up on stage for the final task.
42:17of the show.
42:23Okay, people, things, stage.
42:25Who's going to explain what's going on, Lessa Tom?
42:27I'm going to ask the team of two to read it out.
42:29Okay, let's see.
42:30Okay, in teams, feed your stick thingy through your helmet thingy.
42:35Your stick thing may not touch the sides of your helmet thingy.
42:39The teammate wearing the helmet must be facing the audience throughout.
42:44The teammate holding the stick thingy may not move off their mat and must be wearing their blindfolds.
42:51Fastest team wins, most rounds one wins.
42:55Right, yep.
42:58Alright, blindfolds on guys.
43:00Are we ready?
43:01Go.
43:02Okay, Dave.
43:02Lower your stick.
43:03Stop, stop it.
43:04Lower your stick.
43:05Lower your stick, lower your stick, lower your stick, lower your stick.
43:08Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
43:11Lisa and Dave have won round one.
43:14Subsequent rounds will have different stick thingies.
43:16Oh.
43:17On different sticks?
43:20Stop looking at yourself.
43:21I think I've aged well.
43:23Do you know Hughes actually has no greys?
43:25That's just dandruff.
43:28It's a pretty good joke.
43:31Alright, we ready, set.
43:34Alright, Emma, come on.
43:35Alright, come, keep coming.
43:36Hold it still, hold it still, hold it still.
43:37Keep coming, keep coming.
43:39Straighten it up a bit.
43:40Emma, come.
43:41Keep coming.
43:41Emma, come.
43:43You got us?
43:44Yeah, we got it.
43:45The team of three win round two.
43:48What happened, Dave?
43:49I forgot I could walk backwards.
43:53I was too busy looking at myself.
43:57Alright, round three, go.
44:00Okay, that's it, Dave.
44:01Straighten him up.
44:02Twist to the right, twist to the right, twist to the right.
44:04Twist to the right, twist to the right.
44:05Oh, go.
44:06Stay there.
44:06Oh, we've got a touch.
44:07Team two, touch.
44:10Both teams have touched.
44:11That's zero all for round three.
44:13Sorry, gang.
44:15Okay, we need to go to an ad break.
44:17If it's onesies, go now.
44:18If it's twosies, you might have to hang on.
44:20See you soon.
44:34Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our contestants have been up on stage sticking things into other
44:38things.
44:39Take it away, Alyssa Top.
44:40We're in the middle of a live team tasks.
44:42One person has got a helmet on with a wire thingy on it, and the others have a stick thingy
44:45that they're trying to put through the wire thingy.
44:47We've got two rounds left, and it's one point to one point.
44:52Everything to play for.
44:53Are we ready for the fourth round?
44:55Ready, set, go.
44:59Stay there.
45:00I'm coming.
45:02I'm coming home to Papa.
45:04We've got a touch team of two.
45:06We've got a touch team of three.
45:09Zero all in round four.
45:12What just happened?
45:12What are you doing?
45:13I nearly broke my racket.
45:16Are we ready for round five?
45:18Ready, set, go.
45:19Okay, Dave, come up a bit, and twist to the left.
45:24Twist to the left.
45:26No rush.
45:26Okay, twist to the left, mate.
45:27Twist to the left.
45:28What do you mean, twist?
45:29Can you hold it up a little bit more?
45:31Straighten it up.
45:31Twist it up.
45:32No, left.
45:33Twist to the left.
45:34What the do you mean?
45:35Twist it to the left.
45:37Are you coming, Emma?
45:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:38Are you coming?
45:39I'm coming.
45:39Twist it to the left.
45:40No rush.
45:41What do you mean?
45:41Twist it up.
45:42Up.
45:43Up.
45:44Emma, no rush.
45:45Are you up?
45:46One.
45:49Team of two types.
45:50Team of three have been successful.
45:52I threw it.
45:54I can't.
45:55I said twist with you.
45:56I said twist to the left and you won.
45:58I said twist to the left.
45:59I got it, I got it.
46:01Are you still going?
46:04No.
46:04Can you say my goal again?
46:06No.
46:06I kept saying twist to the left.
46:09Twist to the left, mate.
46:11Twist to the left, mate.
46:12Cute!
46:18Okay, all sticks and helmets away.
46:20Come on down and let's score that bad boy.
46:27All right, remind me of the scores, please.
46:29The A team won the first round, as we remember.
46:31The B team tied it up in the second round,
46:33but in the final round, the B team took the win.
46:35Tommy, Waka and Emma win the task.
46:37Okay, so the better team, 5-5-5.
46:43The aged team, 3-3.
46:45Okay.
46:48That means it's a tight scoreboard,
46:50but winning the episode with 25 points,
46:52it's Takashi Wakasugi!
46:57Congratulations, Waka.
46:58Go up there and claim your most disappointing purchases.
47:04But, what have we learnt?
47:06We learnt that if a fight's brewing up,
47:08call up Waka and throw some hole punches.
47:12Dave Hughes confirmed the obvious rumour
47:14that he doesn't wash his hair.
47:17And we learnt that Lisa McCune
47:19is finally f***ing unhinged.
47:22Hats off again to Waka,
47:24and hats off to you, the viewer, for joining us.
47:26Goodnight!
47:36The children and horny dads are crying out for more Lister Tom.
47:46Woo!
47:47But that would dirty up my image.
47:49God has forsaken me!
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