- 6/21/2025
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:08That's a shocking start
00:18Yep, that's it. Where's Tom?
00:21No! I hate you.
00:33Let me out of here!
00:45Hello and welcome to Taskmaster. I am Tom Gleeson and I would like to start this episode with an earnest
00:50dialogue to all the people out there that this show means so much to, you know, and I know it can help
00:56you get through the tough times in life. And I'd like to say from the bottom of my heart, I'm only in it
01:00for the money. Stop contacting me. Now you can contact these guys instead. Welcome our cast.
01:06Hughes.David at AussieMail.net
01:12Eholland11 at gmail.com
01:14ThecuneFam at Telstra.com.au
01:18Tewakasugi at yahoo.jp
01:20And the.hectic.one at hotmail.com
01:26And next to me, it's the guy who always goes to the hospital when he gets pins and needles because
01:33he takes no chances. It's Tom Cashman.
01:36Another show, another show and tell. It's prize task time.
01:43That's right. Our first task is a prize task. Each of our contestants have brought in a prize for
01:47tonight and the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five of those prizes. Tonight,
01:51our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be a mute thing that most looks
01:55like it would have a cute voice.
01:57Okay. Waka, if you please. Yes, I bought a powerpoint.
02:08I wish, I really wish they speak, the cute voice. They say, oh, I'm tired. Don't use too much energy.
02:17Global warming, you know. Have they got different voices, Waka? Yeah, that one, that one's the
02:23lazy one. Lazy one. Oh, again. This one's quite positive. Yeah, hello. Hello again. That one's a bit
02:34like a surprise. I was sleeping. All right, Tommy, what did you bring in? There is a guy that lives
02:42near me that opens his house as a shop and I bought this old-timey bar man. And his name's Charlie
02:50Weaver. But I just think he's cute and old-timey. Okay. Waka, what would he sound like?
02:56Do you want a drink?
03:02Emma, what did you bring in? I brought in a drawing that I've done. Oh.
03:09Oh my god. Okay. I feel like this is a trap. Why did you draw that?
03:14Um, well, like, she's, she's quite cute, don't you think?
03:22I'm, I'm not sure what the right thing to say is.
03:25I specifically asked that they laminated it in case you got in contact with it.
03:31Is he like that? Yeah.
03:33Oh, I was gonna ask you to house you, but I've got three cats.
03:35I'd, I'd really like to hear Waka do the voice now. Yeah, me too.
03:43Waka, what would the cat sound like?
03:47Do you want a drink?
03:54Uh, Dave, what have you brought in? Yeah, this is an antique, uh, rocking horse that has been passed
04:00down through the generations from my wife's side of the family. So.
04:04Is this, is this just you getting rid of something old?
04:07Yeah. Yeah, this is not hard rubbish night. This is, uh.
04:10Nah, it looks cute, doesn't it? Wouldn't you love to, you know, g-g-g-g-g.
04:14Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
04:17What, what do you think the horse would sound like?
04:20Yeet on me.
04:25Well, Waka's the expert. Do you think that's what the horse would sound like?
04:28No, no, it's cute sound. Should be cute sound.
04:30Like what?
04:31Do you want the right leg?
04:36I've just turned Waka into my toy.
04:39Okay, Lisa, what mute thing did you think would sound cute?
04:42I kind of went with the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the question,
04:46and it was Tom Cashman.
04:50I, could you do the voice?
04:52No, no, no, no.
04:53Oh, he can do the voice.
04:54Can you do that again?
04:55Do you like a few cocktails?
04:58Okay, all right.
04:59Well, I guess I should hand out some scores.
05:01I think you should.
05:02I hate to say it, but it's supposed to be a mute thing and you're not mute.
05:05Nope.
05:05So Lisa, one point.
05:08I just didn't like the look of the rocking horse.
05:09It looked a bit mangy, I think, here's he.
05:11So I'm giving it two points.
05:13Tommy, three points for the bartender figurine.
05:15Okay.
05:15You helped over the line a bit by Waka's voice work.
05:18Absolutely.
05:19I'm going to give four points to Emma's disturbing picture that she drew.
05:23So you admit it's cute?
05:24Uh, no.
05:25I'm more trying to appeal to the kind of person that watches this show.
05:28So I'm trying to appeal to nerds.
05:32I think it looked a bit fucked up, to be honest.
05:38And then that means, I mean, we can't go past Waka.
05:41Five points.
05:42All right.
05:43Thanks.
05:46Okay.
05:47Let's keep going into a task.
05:49Bluey, Dora the Explorer, Postman Pat, all business rivals.
05:52Our contestants wish to see them all burn.
06:08Come in.
06:10Hi, Tom Tom.
06:11Good to see you.
06:12Could I ask you to please take a handful of letters?
06:14Big handful, a little handful.
06:16Could you put the bookmark into the dictionary, please?
06:24What now?
06:25You may open the task.
06:27Where is the task?
06:28Is it in my pocket?
06:30Is it in here?
06:31It's jam?
06:32Should I eat this dictionary?
06:34With jam?
06:35I won, but it's task.
06:36I will.
06:40Oh, that is...
06:41I could get used to that.
06:43Yum.
06:45Create and debut a children's character.
06:48Your character's first name must be spelt from your handful of letters.
06:52And its second name must be a word on the dictionary page your bookmark landed on.
06:59Most marketable children's character wins.
07:01You have 45 minutes.
07:03Your time starts now.
07:06Alright, let's do it.
07:08Sorry.
07:10Alright, here we go.
07:11Rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat.
07:15I got titty.
07:16Oh, my nipple.
07:18I've got both weird and wet to work with.
07:20Ralph, Raymond, Rihanna.
07:24Titty or foot?
07:25It's either reliever, relaxer, rejigger.
07:29Actually, the name doesn't matter.
07:30The characters are more important.
07:32You want to make your character an animal, because that's inclusive.
07:36I think I might actually make it an underwater character.
07:39It would be Gary Wett who likes to have a bet, and he's an anti-gambling character for kids.
07:44And so he's had a negative experience with gambling in the past.
07:47Lost everything.
07:48Titty or foot answers all the questions.
07:50Like, why is the sky blue, and why does mum live in a different house?
07:55I found a few things in the dress-up box.
07:57That's a hat for you.
07:58No, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah.
08:00Just ideas.
08:01He's constantly got a long neck.
08:03This is his first thing.
08:04Should I give him huge titties?
08:06Most marketable children's character wins, but it doesn't say marketable to children.
08:10So I'm going for dads.
08:11Sorry, it's alright.
08:12I'm still thinking about my character.
08:14Is this too much?
08:15No, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah.
08:19So many ideas.
08:20Could you please get dressed like a child?
08:28So just to be clear, they just have to create a children's character.
08:30And what am I looking for in particular with it?
08:32Most marketable children's character wins.
08:34Most marketable children's character.
08:35Okay.
08:36Well, let's find out which of these children's characters are going to have the cut-through.
08:40Debuting titty-a-foot, it's Emma Holland.
08:43Welcome one, welcome all.
08:46It's titty-a-foot.
08:48There's a titty-a-foot.
08:50I don't know which way to look.
08:52It's hard to make eye contact when she walks in.
08:56She has shoes upon her hands politically.
08:59Where does she stand?
09:01Parents love titty-a-foot, mostly dads.
09:04She will teach me right from wrong, all within a little song.
09:09She will answer questions with her big red smile.
09:13What answers do you seek?
09:15Titty saw you take a peek.
09:17If you must know, the answer's double D.
09:21Ask me any questions now.
09:23Just make sure you don't look south.
09:25Titty only speaks the truth.
09:27Eyes up here.
09:29Hi Tom.
09:30I've got a question.
09:32Yeah, what's your question?
09:33Is titty-a-foot single?
09:35Hmm.
09:36Guess I'll never tell.
09:38He he he he he he.
09:39I'm titty-a-foot.
09:40I didn't know that prize task and that task would be in the same episode.
09:53They come from the same brain, so who cares?
09:56Does it really matter how far apart they're placed?
09:59Yeah, sometimes it's better if they're pushed to get far over.
10:01Have you been on a comedy writing camp with Tommy Little?
10:11Sorry.
10:12So, how would you market this to children?
10:15I don't feel like it would appeal to children.
10:16It didn't say market it to children.
10:17Oh.
10:18It's a children's character, but it had to be marketable,
10:20so I've marketed it to dads.
10:22Dads are watching that, I'm telling you right now.
10:24No, I know.
10:25Mate, I've already booked tickets.
10:26I can't wait.
10:28Yeah, I get it, but I'm just saying I'm not sure that a children's network will pick this up.
10:32Well, why not?
10:33You wouldn't be able to put it anywhere.
10:34Why not?
10:35Because it's not a children's character.
10:36But can't you just put it on the internet and let the children find it?
10:41Thank you, Fusey.
10:42Fusey just really wants titty-a-foot on the internet.
10:46Okay, just worried it wasn't very inclusive.
10:48It's just very heteronormative, you know.
10:51You said it appeals to dads, what about gay dads?
10:53Gay people could love titties too.
10:58Okay, stay tuned for some more titty, we'll be back after the break.
11:14Welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:16Your mature patience is much appreciated through the break.
11:19But don't worry, we're resuming the infantile challenges now.
11:22Yes, it's a task for the immature ones.
11:24Our competitors are all vying to create the most marketable children's character.
11:27Debuting Gary Wett, it's Tommy Little.
11:29Hello, my name's Gary Wett.
11:31What do you want to be when you grow up, Gary?
11:33I can be anything I want to be.
11:35Well, my future looked bright, but there was a race track inside.
11:42And so I decided to have a little punt.
11:45And I bet on all the dogs, and now me life's a slog.
11:49I've lost so much, I thought I could mutt.
11:52I've even bet on trots, and now me life's hit rockbots.
11:56And everyone says, Gary Wett, you dumb .
12:01A message from Gambling Australia.
12:02Gamble responsibly.
12:11Tommy Little's doing accents again.
12:15Was that a wise move?
12:17Wasn't a bad one.
12:20I actually think you're onto something here,
12:21because I think that in terms of marketability,
12:23I'm just saying it was very misguided.
12:26He said the C word.
12:29Yeah, I know, but it was like poorly thought out,
12:31and there was a lot of colour brown there.
12:32I just feel like a government agency would pick this up straight away.
12:35Absolutely.
12:36They'd be throwing money at you.
12:37I agree.
12:38I feel insane.
12:40Well, you were a bit pissed off before,
12:42and I was just wanting to see just how much further I could push that.
12:45And it turns out it didn't require much effort at all.
12:48All right, the children and horny dads are crying out for more Lister Tom.
12:52We're getting aquatic, debuting Ryan the Rejigger and Matt Manta Ray.
12:56It's Dave and Lisa.
12:58Ryan the Rainbow Trout Rejigger here.
13:03I am a fish,
13:05and I would prefer to hang out of the water to catch my fellow fish.
13:10Matt Manta Ray was a very beautiful coloured Manta Ray,
13:13but he didn't have any friends because he was different.
13:15And then one day, after a shark attack,
13:18and all of these poor little manta rays were left without their parents,
13:24they were yummy manta rays that we just ate.
13:28Hello, Ryan!
13:30What are you up to today?
13:32You rejigging rascal!
13:34I'm fishing!
13:36I don't know why our voices sound the same.
13:39I don't know either!
13:41Maybe you have a limited range!
13:43Farewell!
13:45Piss off!
13:47And then he took a very deep dive and went to the depths of the ocean,
13:51but the sharks pursued him fast.
13:54Oh no!
13:55There's a shark coming my way!
13:59And the shark takes his leg!
14:02And then, just when they thought things couldn't get any worse,
14:06all of a sudden, there is the giant crayfish.
14:11I'm gonna save you, Sammy the seagull!
14:14Stephen!
14:16Thank you, Ryan!
14:18That was the best rejigging anyone's ever done!
14:22And the giant crayfish welcomed them into the safety of his claws.
14:27And the moral of the story is?
14:29Always have a friend bigger than you.
14:31Thank you!
14:38So, Lisa, I have to say, flawless voiceover work.
14:41I mean, it was play school-worthy, really.
14:42Thank you. Thank you.
14:43It was perfect.
14:44Do you always dress up for your voiceover work?
14:47Because at the end of it, we saw that you were dressed like Nemo,
14:49but I don't think you actually had to do that.
14:51That was actually because it's really important sometimes
14:53to dress to get you into the voice.
14:55I think it helps.
14:56And why did I have to dress like a crab?
14:58Because you were inspiring me also.
15:01And it makes you feel part of it.
15:03I've kind of felt like, you know, it's made...
15:06It just made the whole thing feel much better.
15:09Okay.
15:10The moral was to always have a friend bigger than you.
15:13I actually think that's a good idea.
15:15For all the kids, I always said that to my kids.
15:17Either throw the first punch or, you know, have a bigger friend.
15:19You know.
15:24All right.
15:25Excuse me.
15:26Yes.
15:27That, like, I was trying to make sense of yours.
15:28It was a bit...
15:29It was a bit out there.
15:30Yeah.
15:31I did it and I still needed subtitles, to be honest, so...
15:35Yeah, so your character was a fish?
15:37Yes.
15:38That goes fishing?
15:39Yeah.
15:40Um...
15:41My understanding of the plot is that a smaller fish went fishing,
15:45got a bigger fish, and then the shark was the villain,
15:47and then together the bird and the fish got rid of...
15:49You could argue the moral was always have a friend bigger than you.
15:54Wow.
15:58Okay, well, I'm glad you cleared that up for us, that story,
16:00because it was very confusing to watch.
16:01And I was thinking...
16:02I was worried that, you know, all those children's books
16:04that you wrote with your wife, Husey?
16:05Yeah, still available.
16:06Yeah, I suspect...
16:08I suspect she did all the writing.
16:09She did, and we're up for another one, so she need to get to work.
16:15I wasn't expecting you to admit that straight away.
16:20Okay, let's hope I see some dollar signs in this last one.
16:24Debuting Treebite Dongun and Tricky Madis.
16:27It's Takashi Wakasumi.
16:29Animal Kingdom.
16:32Everyone friends, another peaceful day.
16:35Then, one bad enemy came to the kingdom.
16:39Hey, animals.
16:41His name is Treebite Dogun.
16:44I hate you!
16:46Oh, my God.
16:48Damn it!
16:50I'm gonna kill them all.
16:52Why?
16:53He hurts everyone so badly.
16:56Everyone suffering.
16:58Then...
16:59Wait!
17:00Superhero came to help.
17:02My name is Tricky Madis.
17:05You should die!
17:06He fought...
17:08So hard.
17:09Crazy.
17:10Fighting.
17:11You guys okay?
17:12No!
17:13Help!
17:14He defeat Dogun.
17:19And another peaceful day come back.
17:23But...
17:24Who is Dogun?
17:26Oh, my God.
17:28He was animal.
17:29We all animal.
17:31We should be all friends.
17:35And study hard.
17:37Animal.
17:38Animal.
17:40Animal friends, everyone!
17:42See you next week!
17:49I bloody loved it, Waka.
17:51That's how it's done.
17:53That is exactly what children's TV is like.
17:55There's a hero, there's a villain.
17:56Yeah.
17:57You watch it.
17:58You got no idea what the fuck's going on.
18:01But kids just love it.
18:02Yeah.
18:03Oh, it's perfect.
18:04And the message there, you know?
18:05Message.
18:06Friendship.
18:07Victory.
18:08Effort.
18:09Study hard.
18:10Yes.
18:11I just thought it was fantastic.
18:12Alright, so I guess I've got to score these.
18:14I'm going to give one point to Tommy Little.
18:16Okay.
18:17Because unfortunately it's very hard to market a character that says the C word.
18:20I think two points to Husey.
18:21Okay.
18:22Because it's just a bit hard to understand.
18:23Three points to Emma, because I just think it's hard to market tits to children.
18:30Four points to Lisa.
18:31Yep.
18:32Because it was quite a simple story and a great message.
18:34And just because it was so easy to market, so easy to understand.
18:37I just loved it.
18:38Five points to Waka.
18:39Wow.
18:40Okay.
18:41We need to go to a break while I make our contestants sign away their character IP to
18:49me while under duress.
18:51See you shortly.
18:52Welcome back to Taskmaster.
19:06I've just come from backstage where I run the whole network as a favour.
19:11Cashman, what's next you cheeky little bugger?
19:14Another task.
19:15This one goes out to Mark Schwartzer.
19:28Hi Dave.
19:29Hello Tom.
19:30Hi Tom.
19:31Good afternoon.
19:32It's morning.
19:33Maybe people are watching in the afternoon.
19:36I think they'll watch it at night.
19:37Maybe they're recording and watching.
19:39Good afternoon, good morning, good evening, anything.
19:43I like this.
19:45What about it?
19:46I like soccer.
19:47Do you want me to read this?
19:49Yes please.
19:50Okay.
19:51Nice day for it.
19:53Score a goal against goalkeeper Tom from one of the mats.
19:58There's a goal there.
20:00Too much.
20:01You must shoot from the closer mat whilst blindfolded.
20:04Or from the further one whilst Tom is blindfolded.
20:08Once a mat has been selected, you cannot change.
20:11You cannot move either mat.
20:14You must say your last name before each shot.
20:17This attempt wins.
20:18You have 20 minutes.
20:19Your time starts now.
20:21Alright, let's do it.
20:26Let's have a hack.
20:27Who's putting the boot in first?
20:28One hasn't gotten blind for years, the other probably is right now.
20:31It's Dave and Tommy.
20:32This is so easy for me.
20:34Because you know, I just want to kick the ball at you as hard as I can.
20:38Okay.
20:39So why wouldn't I just go the close about and blindfold myself?
20:43I think I'm going to blindfold you man.
20:45I'm going to stay where I am.
20:46Did you ever play soccer?
20:47Nah.
20:48I have you pegged as a field hockey guy.
20:50I did play some field hockey.
20:52Did you?
20:53Yes.
20:54I'm looking to do this in one go.
20:57Oh!
20:58Hey!
20:59ZOO!
21:10I didn't hear your last name being yelled before you shot.
21:13Oh my God!
21:15Why did you let me celebrate so much?
21:20Oh!
21:21I hope this one hits you in the nut.
21:25Yes!
21:30Little.
21:31Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
21:37That was closer man.
21:39This one's nut central for you Cashman.
21:42Oh no!
21:43Oh for God's sake.
21:47Did you block it?
21:48I saved it.
21:49Oh!
21:50Y'all put it in your face.
21:51ским2427OS!
21:54No-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
21:55Ha ha-ha-ha-ha!
21:58That has forsaken me!
22:02Ah!
22:03What did you do that for?
22:04Yooooos!
22:06Come on!
22:15No!
22:16Little.
22:17That's going in here we go I think is it yo
22:47I've got a bridge in your face! Loser! Loser! Thanks Tom. Thanks Tommy.
23:05So Tommy were you deliberately trying to take out the cameramen so they wouldn't film your embarrassing attempts?
23:10I was just so shattered because I thought I'd hit it on my first shot.
23:15You just let me celebrate for so long. You put your t-shirt over your head, you did the full soccer celebration.
23:22I know and what you didn't see is I did about four laps of that over. I only stopped because I was exhausted.
23:28And so as soon as he got it in you knew he hadn't said his name?
23:31Did you? I knew from before it even went in.
23:36Why did you do that pantomime then? Because when I said why didn't you tell me you had the director and stuff come in and you pretended like you only just found out.
23:44It's called managing the talents emotions.
23:48So Husey you decided to do it from further back which is what I would have done but you didn't kick straight.
23:54I thought you would have kicked very straight.
23:56I was pretty good but some of his stops were bizarrely like it was Matrix shit going on there.
24:03Now Husey when you finally got it in you ran up and you just had a moment where you were going to lift your shirt and then you went no you decided not to.
24:12It was the briefest of moments you got it in and you ran in and you were like yeah.
24:19Why did you have second thoughts there?
24:21Because I want people to watch this show.
24:23Okay, so I feel like we need some scores there so Tommy if he had said his name would have got it in in one go.
24:29That's right.
24:30Okay, but how did he go?
24:31Tommy got it in seven attempts.
24:33Okay.
24:34Dave Hughes got it in 13 attempts.
24:36Oh, still pretty good.
24:38Yeah.
24:39Okay, let's see some more fluky tape shall we?
24:44Two of them have played soccer.
24:46The other played Maggie Doyle on Blue Heelers.
24:48It's Rucka, Emma and Lisa.
24:51Well, I'm going from this Matt.
24:52I'm not I'm not getting blindfolded.
24:54I might try to close that one.
24:55Okay.
24:56Are you ready Tom?
24:57Do I look like me?
25:00Alright, Holland.
25:04Where's the ball?
25:06Where's the ball?
25:07Alright, Holland.
25:08Oh.
25:11Wa-ka-su.
25:15Not yet, no, yeah, no, yeah, no.
25:16I need to touch the ball right?
25:17Where's the map?
25:19Where's the map?
25:20How long have you played soccer for?
25:21I don't want to say because it'll be embarrassing if this doesn't go in.
25:25Holland.
25:31Wa-ka-su.
25:33Yes!
25:35Yes!
25:36How do you feel?
25:37Uh, genuinely a bit disappointed.
25:40I think I should have done it the first go.
25:42But yeah, Tommy, Dave, they might play AFL fully.
25:46Which means they are not good at kicking.
25:48And Lisa?
25:49She?
25:51I think she doesn't know how to kick a ball.
25:53I'm sorry.
25:54I'll say that, but...
25:55Okay, McCune!
25:56Oh, my God!
25:57The first one!
25:59Oh, my God!
26:00Oh, my God!
26:01The first one!
26:02Oh, my God!
26:04The first one!
26:05Oh, my God!
26:06The first one!
26:07Oh, my God!
26:09Oh, my God!
26:10The first one!
26:12Oh, my God!
26:14The first one!
26:15Oh, my God!
26:16Oh, my God!
26:17Oh, my God!
26:18The first one!
26:19Oh, my God!
26:20Oh, my God!
26:21Oh, my God!
26:22Oh, my God!
26:23That's unbelievable!
26:24Wow!
26:25Lisa McCune, in acting circles, I believe we call that a one-take wonder.
26:28Yeah, no, very, very proud of that moment.
26:29Once again, Australian soccer, we just showed that the women are better than the men.
26:30Yeah.
26:31I think that was great.
26:32It was a mighty effort.
26:33Wacha, would you like to apologise to Lisa?
26:34You were quite certain that she would be bad at soccer.
26:35I'm very so sorry.
26:36I'm very so sorry.
26:37Did you think I was going to be bad?
26:38Yeah.
26:39Why?
26:40I just could not imagine.
26:41Oh.
26:42I'm very sporty.
26:43I knew now.
26:44Yeah.
26:45So, Emma, did you think I was going to be bad?
26:48Yeah.
26:49Why?
26:50I just could not imagine.
26:52Oh.
26:53I'm very sporty.
26:54I knew now.
26:56Yeah.
26:57So, Emma, did you say you were disappointed because you didn't get it in straight away?
27:01Because you play soccer.
27:02Yeah, I play competitively, yeah.
27:04And you score a lot of goals.
27:05I score a lot of goals.
27:07Can I just say, did a lot of you celebrate properly your goals?
27:12Oh, no.
27:13Oh, you cut it out, which was very kind of you, thank you.
27:15Yeah.
27:16Emma did a bit of a titty-a-foot impression.
27:18Okay.
27:19Well, what have you scores?
27:20Emma took four shots.
27:21Waka took three.
27:22And Lisa got it in one shot.
27:23That means Dave gets one point.
27:24Tommy gets two.
27:25Three for Emma.
27:26Four for Waka.
27:27And Lisa wins the task with five points.
27:28And in terms of our overall episode scores, we've got Emma and Lisa tied on ten points,
27:33but Waka's in the lead with 14 points for the episode.
27:49Okay.
27:50Now go get your Lisa Ferb.
27:52I'll round up my Waka lads.
27:54And in the break, we'll meet outside the tube station and have the fucking lot of yous.
27:59See you soon, mugs.
28:14Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show where Emma Holland has made both a horny cat and a horny puppet.
28:21And good news for horny Emma, this next task is about pleasure.
28:37Hey Tom.
28:38How are you?
28:39How are you?
28:40I'm okay.
28:41I love a conch.
28:46Make the most pleasurable sound.
28:48Whilst being most unpleasurable to look at.
28:51Most pleasurable sound whilst being most unpleasurable to look at wins.
28:56You have 20 minutes.
28:58Your time starts now.
29:00Ooh, one half of this I can do, the other half is going to be a struggle.
29:05Boo, that's so nice.
29:07Just listen to that.
29:08I just listened to that all day.
29:10But, oh, ouch.
29:12I've got to nick myself.
29:13I did.
29:14Are you bleeding?
29:15I'm bleeding.
29:16I got an ouchie.
29:18She sells seashells by the seashore but she also stabs motherfuckers with them.
29:23I've got so many favourite sounds.
29:24I love that.
29:26Oh, that sounds like cultural appropriations.
29:37I like the sound of the bowling.
29:39Oh, that's a very pleasurable sound.
29:41And I could bring drums.
29:43I hate most instruments.
29:47Can you play the keyboard?
29:49I can play like a simple chord or two.
29:51Okay, can you teach me?
29:52Sure.
29:53Are you going to change your appearance?
29:54Or are you happy with where it's at?
29:57That's nice.
29:58Come on.
29:59Come on.
30:00I want a face painting thing.
30:01Oh.
30:02I hate face painting.
30:03Oh, you don't like it?
30:04Very, um, pleasurable.
30:06You know the upside down kissing scene in Spider-Man?
30:08It's gross, isn't it?
30:09Hmm.
30:10There's something about upside down lips.
30:11Yeah, that's no good.
30:13I'm going to go in there.
30:14Okay.
30:15I'm going to come out.
30:16Ooh, baby.
30:17You cannot afford what you're about to see.
30:23Yeah, I'm with you less of time.
30:27Is it unfair that Hughes only has to make a sound?
30:30Okay, all right.
30:36Who are we hearing from first?
30:38His voice is already as pleasurable as it gets.
30:40It's Dave Hughes.
30:41One, two years.
30:42Oh.
30:43It is the voice of my wife.
30:57This is the voice of my wife.
31:11I love the way you pack the dew for.
31:16I love the way you fold the clothes.
31:22Oh no. Has there been an accident? Did I have a nip slip? Oh no. You dropped something. You better pick it up.
31:52Thanks, Dave. Party's over, mate. Go back to normal programming.
32:09Well, I'd just like to say to my kids, you can have tomorrow off school.
32:13I mean, I shouldn't have doubted you, Husey. You had another gear.
32:26What's the thinking? I think you nailed the visual element.
32:34I mean, that nip slip will give children nightmares for weeks to come.
32:37But I want to question the sound. It's supposed to be a very pleasurable sound.
32:42Yeah, my wife's voice is very pleasurable, so I was being my wife.
32:46She won't be happy to hear that, but...
32:49Does she say these things to you through a traffic cone?
32:53Where's that fit in? I don't quite...
32:55I'm not quite sure. I think that was to a siren, like a sea siren, like a mermaid.
33:00Oh yeah, I got that. Yeah, you got that. Lisa got that.
33:03I got a mermaid. You got that? Yeah, I heard a mermaid.
33:06I did, I got that.
33:07OK, Cashman, we might need a palate cleanser for everyone who just got traumatised by Husey's crack.
33:12OK, next to optimise their pleasure to non-pleasure ratios are Emma, Lisa and Waka.
33:17OK, Tom, I want you to just relax, close your eyes and imagine that it's a stormy night and you're deep in sleep.
33:26And then you can hear this on the roof.
33:43Pleasure!
33:45Do I have something in my eye? Like a void or an absence?
34:02Ahhhh...
34:07Ta-da!
34:12Ha!
34:14Am I done?
34:15I think I won.
34:17Thanks, Waka.
34:19See you, Colin.
34:20OK, so Waka, the sound of pins being knocked over sounds great.
34:37That's great.
34:38Sounds like victory, sounds good.
34:39Best time, yeah.
34:40So, what do you think is pleasurable about dropping a grill on a barbecue?
34:43I was looking for the, like, simple things, but I couldn't find it.
34:47OK, but then I...
34:48Yeah, well, maybe you could have just left it out.
34:51You know, but also after the barbecue, you finish clean up and bam, that's also a pleasure moment.
34:58But what about the visual element? You don't like Kiss makeup?
35:01Yeah, that's very scary.
35:02OK.
35:03So you're not a fan of Kiss?
35:04No.
35:05OK.
35:06I'm a big fan of you.
35:07OK.
35:08Emma.
35:09A very pleasurable sound.
35:11The sound of a xylophone played beautifully.
35:13And just...
35:14But you kind of went very...
35:15Just very simple eye out.
35:16Blech.
35:17Is that pleasurable to you?
35:18No, no.
35:19Not pleasurable at all.
35:20So I've done my job.
35:26Yeah, I mean, it was quite horrific to look at, but you've got to remember you're part of a continuum.
35:30Part of a spectrum that includes Husey with no shirt on.
35:33Now, Lisa, I reckon you bloody nailed it.
35:38Really?
35:39Because, I mean, you've got the sound of rain on a tin roof is a beautiful sound.
35:42Yeah.
35:43And you look like a fucking nightmare.
35:47There was a lot of hair.
35:48You, like, couldn't see your face.
35:50You had a fright.
35:51Well, you look like something from a Korean horror film.
35:53It was frightening.
35:54I'm really happy.
35:55If you're happy, I'm happy.
35:57OK.
35:58What's a palate cleanser but for the ears and the eyes?
36:00Whatever it is, my brain is screaming out for one.
36:02Back soon after this break.
36:16Welcome back to Taskmaster, a show awful for those with misophonia due to its quantity of bad noises,
36:22such as a broken xylophone or Husey's voice.
36:25What's next?
36:26It's the last part of a make a pleasurable sound while looking unpleasurable task.
36:30Finally, being hot is a disadvantage for him.
36:32It's Tommy Little.
36:33I feel like that was good when we got that one in the can.
36:34Let's go again.
36:35Oh, fuck my hair.
36:36Stop moving here.
36:37All right.
36:3845 seconds.
36:39Are we going again?
36:40OK.
36:41The cap's on.
36:42Hats on.
36:43And I'm ready.
36:44Are you ready to play?
36:45I feel like you're blowing, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow.
36:46I feel like that was good when we got that one in the can.
36:47I feel like that was good when we got that one in the can.
36:48I feel like that was good when we got that one in the can.
36:49Let's go again.
36:50Oh, fuck my hair.
36:51Stop moving here.
36:52All right.
36:53OK.
36:5445 seconds.
36:56Are we going again?
36:57OK.
36:58Oh, OK.
36:59The cap's on, hats on and I'm ready to ,
37:02Are you ready to play?
37:08Not like you'd blow, blow, motherfucker, blow.
37:15Motherfuckin' blood!
37:33That felt like something.
37:35It was definitely something.
37:37Are we happy?
37:38I feel like you're quite happy in the character.
37:40What?
37:42Should I reveal you?
37:44No, no, no, no!
37:46Oh, shit!
37:48My whole undercarriage is out.
37:53Do you have a name?
37:54Bellity.
37:55Bellity?
37:56Bellity.
37:57I hope you don't mind me saying this, but that's a very fancy name.
38:08Ah, so good.
38:11Tommy, you lost yourself in that character a bit, didn't you?
38:13Yeah.
38:14We stopped filming and I was still there for about 20 minutes.
38:17I mean, visually, it was quite hideous.
38:19It was hard to look at.
38:20But the problem is you made a sound.
38:22So the...
38:23is part of the...
38:25You are technically correct.
38:27But you know when you just sew in something?
38:29Oh, we could see that.
38:30Yeah.
38:32It's good stuff.
38:34All right.
38:35Well, I feel like I need to hand out some scores here.
38:37Yep.
38:38Okay, very easy.
38:39One to Tommy Little, because unfortunately those two sounds blended together.
38:42One?
38:43Yeah.
38:45Yeah, I know.
38:46But unfortunately there needed to be a pleasurable sound.
38:48Two to Husey.
38:49Same thing.
38:50The sound wasn't particularly great.
38:51Visually though, it was a bloody nightmare.
38:53I'm going to give three points to Waka.
38:54Yep.
38:55Because I think there was a pleasurable sound there, but then you smashed a barbecue.
38:57You kind of took the edge off it.
38:58I'm going to give four points to Emma.
39:00Scary makeup.
39:01Eye out of the head.
39:02Beautiful sound.
39:03Xylophone.
39:04Can't fault that.
39:05But it was a thing of nightmares from Lisa McKeown.
39:06I don't know what that was, but I will be seeing it in my nightmares from now on.
39:10And the sound was beautiful.
39:11Am I allowed to give my five points and swap with Tommy?
39:13Because I loved what he did.
39:15What about the age team?
39:16And what about what I did?
39:17It's just...
39:18It's just...
39:19It's so gross.
39:20Thank you so much, Lisa.
39:21Oh my God.
39:22She said, do you want to give me a kiss?
39:24This is only my...
39:25Oh my God.
39:26I was just saying before, you never take your wins when you win.
39:51You've come here to dirty up your image.
39:54Take the points and gloat.
39:56Yeah.
39:57Show us...
39:58Show us how to gloat.
39:59We haven't seen it yet.
40:00But that would dirty up my image.
40:02Like...
40:03Oh my God.
40:05Hold on.
40:10Okay, let's race towards the end and get them all on stage for the live task.
40:18What are we staring down the barrel of here, Lesser Tom?
40:25Before we read the task, I'm going to ask Tommy, who is currently coming fifth in this episode, to choose a ball to stand in front of.
40:30Ooh!
40:32Dave, could you please choose a ball?
40:36Seems...
40:37Emma?
40:38Lazy.
40:40Lisa?
40:41Just...
40:42So the girls are on the end.
40:43And welcome.
40:45Come on.
40:46Come on.
40:47You can move it Tommy.
40:53Get that tongue working man.
40:55I got it.
40:58Turn your exercise ball into a world globe with your selected item.
41:05You must be wearing your boxing gloves throughout.
41:08Most geographically accurate world globe wins.
41:12You have 180 seconds.
41:14I'm going to ask you now to open the boxes, but don't use them yet or anything.
41:17But just open them up.
41:20Oh fuck.
41:21Oh.
41:22Okay, so Emma's got shaving cream.
41:24Husey has Vegemite.
41:26Tommy has mustard.
41:27Waka has jam.
41:29And Lisa has silly string.
41:30Are we ready?
41:31We've got three minutes.
41:33Three.
41:34Two.
41:35One.
41:37I fucking can't open it.
41:38Shit.
41:39Oh!
41:46Fuck, what's at the top?
41:48Australia...
41:49Africa?
41:51I think I'm the worst.
41:52We're only halfway.
41:53I don't think you are, Waka.
41:54I haven't got a country on here yet.
41:55It's fine.
41:56How many continents are there?
41:57One minute left.
41:58Whoa!
41:59Hey!
42:00Hey!
42:0150 seconds.
42:02I am really sorry.
42:03I am so...
42:0530 seconds left.
42:06Woo!
42:0710, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!
42:0910, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!
42:10Step away from the globes.
42:11Yeah!
42:12Step away from the globes.
42:13Step away from the globes.
42:14I am really sorry.
42:16I am sorry.
42:2030 seconds left.
42:2610, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
42:37Step away from the globes.
42:39Step away from the globes.
42:41OK.
42:42If they had a spin with their globes, let's spin through this ad break.
42:45See you soon.
42:59Thanks for sticking around for Taskmaster.
43:01We've got our live task results remaining before our big episode winner.
43:05Yes, they've all just competed to create the most geographically accurate globe
43:09on an exercise ball out of some gross and some delicious stuff.
43:12Let's see how they did so you can score them.
43:14Alright.
43:15So the first globe we're going to be seeing is Lisa's.
43:19With silly string.
43:20Yep, that's Indonesia.
43:23That's the Philippines.
43:25I'm really having to use my imagination there, I'll be honest.
43:28But you had a really late start there, Lisa, I noticed.
43:30Yep.
43:31It was tricky to work with.
43:32But, you know, can't blame your tools.
43:33Yes.
43:34Next we have Waka.
43:39OK, Waka.
43:40You copped a bit of overspray there from Lisa as well.
43:43I feel like this looks like what the Earth will look like after a nuclear incident.
43:48So next up we have Tommy.
43:50This is the mustard-based globe.
43:52Is that Africa?
43:53That's Africa, yep.
43:54Africa, Europe.
43:55Europe up the top.
43:56Oh, I can see that.
43:57Oh, there's Australia.
43:58Australia, New Zealand next to it.
43:59Yeah, that's Skidmark's New Zealand.
44:00Yep.
44:02OK.
44:03It's not bad.
44:04Next we have Dave's.
44:05Oh, OK.
44:07Looks like...
44:08Looks like Husey's had an accident at the gym.
44:13What countries are we looking at there, Husey?
44:15I think that's one of them, and you know what I've done?
44:19I've turned the globe upside down, because why can't Australia be on top of the world?
44:25What else do we have?
44:26Our final globe is coming up.
44:28All right.
44:29OK.
44:32Europe, Africa, there's Australia.
44:34Oh, New Zealand.
44:35We can see that.
44:36Look at the Americas.
44:37Oh, and then the Americas.
44:38It's also terrain accurate, so the bits that are taller are the tallest parts of them.
44:42All right, well, I've got to score these.
44:44I think there were two that sort of had countries on them, and three that didn't.
44:47Yep.
44:48So, at the bottom, I'm going to put Lisa with one point.
44:50OK.
44:51Two points to Waka, because it was just pretty much an exercise ball covered in jam.
44:56Three points to Husey, who just looks like he tried to paint a world map using his arse.
45:02Four points to Tommy, because I could make out heaps of countries there, but I could make out even more countries on Emma Hollands.
45:07Five points to Emma.
45:08OK, before I give you the episode scores, I've got some series scores to share.
45:14Dave Hughes is in fifth place at the moment in the series on 103 points.
45:18That's pretty good.
45:19We've got Lisa on 111, Tommy on 117, Waka on 130, and Emma Holland out in front with 139 points for the series.
45:28Nice!
45:33But in this episode, Emma and Waka are both on 19, which means we go to a tiebreaker.
45:43So here's Waka and Emma down at the beautiful Taskmaster Lake.
45:46They're skimming a stone, a la Lloyd Langford in series two.
45:49Most skims wins.
45:50Are you a seasoned stone skimmer?
45:53I actually am.
45:54Oh, wow. You're good at it?
45:55You're not good at it, but I think I love that.
45:58I do have like a moderate level of confidence.
46:01This is good. I think this is...
46:04Yeah?
46:05I'm gonna go with this one.
46:06Oh!
46:33Thanks, Emma.
46:34Waka, six skims!
46:36Waka is the winner of this episode!
46:40Alright, Waka, get up on that stage and claim your mute little cuties.
46:46So, what have we learnt?
46:48We learnt Emma has a horny preoccupation with cutesy characters.
46:52We learnt on top of her gold logies, Lisa also has a golden boot.
46:57And we learnt from Tommy Little...
46:59Help our winner Waka celebrate their victory and we'll see you next time, goodnight!
47:22Yeah, it's time to party!
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