- 06/06/2025
Categoria
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CortometraggiTrascrizione
00:00So what did you do to Nick?
00:04My dance class was cancelled
00:05So I got a reiki massage
00:07And I just feel incredible now
00:09Reiki?
00:11Yep
00:11That's the massage where they don't touch you?
00:15Yeah, so it's about energy
00:17They put energy into your body
00:18Yeah, well why don't you pay someone to not touch you?
00:22Oh okay, so like I said
00:23They align your energy
00:24It's just like billions of people that'll touch you for zero dollars
00:27Like do you go to restaurants and pay them to not feed you?
00:31Oh, well
00:32Okay, so it's an ancient healing ritual from Japan
00:36It's thousands of years old
00:38Yeah, it's old so it must be
00:40Good
00:42Oh and it's Asian
00:43Do you really understand why middle class white people think that Asians are magic?
00:50Well, I don't think they're magic
00:51Yeah, they've just mastered energy
00:53I mean, what is this energy?
00:55How are they manufacturing this energy?
00:58Where does it come from?
01:00Okay
01:00It just makes me feel good
01:02It's not thousands of years old, by the way
01:06It's like about 80 years old
01:08No, I'm pretty sure it's thousands
01:09What are you doing?
01:19Googling
01:19Yeah
01:24It was invented in 1922
01:26Oh my god
01:29So, it's like 90 years old
01:31We're both wrong
01:32No, no, that's pretty close
01:34I mean, 80 is a lot closer to 90 than 90 is to thousands
01:40Can't you just leave things?
01:44Let people believe what they want to believe?
01:45I'm sorry
01:47I'm not letting you believe it
01:50I'm just trying to understand
01:53You know, why an adult would pay someone money
01:59To lay naked in a room with somebody that's either crazy or lying to them
02:05Okay
02:07I'm going to go
02:08Really?
02:09There's just so much vegetarian food coming
02:12Yeah, look
02:13I'm just looking for someone who's kind and gentle
02:16And like
02:17That's not you
02:20Eve?
02:30Hey
02:30I'm coming over
02:31No, I just wanted a low night
02:33Well, I thought I'd come by and suck you off while you play Grand Theft Auto
02:38Um
02:39Well, that would just be annoying because I'd want to concentrate
02:44Hang on, Josh is calling
02:48Tom, you hungry?
02:51I ordered too much food
02:52No plans
02:54Okay
02:54What's Patrick doing?
02:56He's out
02:57Oh no
02:58Oh gosh, no
03:01One, two, three
03:03One, two, three
03:04Four
03:04Yeah, I'll be fine
03:08Yeah
03:09Oh yeah
03:13Oh, the good Lord knows it
03:16Oh, the good Lord knows it
03:19I left that behind
03:21Behind
03:21Yeah
03:23Yeah
03:24Yeah
03:24Yeah
03:25Yeah
03:25Yeah
03:26Yeah
03:27Yeah
03:28Yeah
03:29Yeah
03:30I left that behind
03:31I'll be fine
03:32Oh
03:36Hi, Clara
03:38Hi, Josh
03:39Hey
03:40Hey, do you think I'm nice?
03:42Uh, yeah
03:43I think so
03:44Yeah, I'm a nice guy
03:45I do nice things
03:46If there's like a little bit of poo on the side of the toilet bowl
03:49I'll pee it off
03:50You know
03:51Even though nobody will even know I did it
03:53I'll do it
03:53Yeah
03:54Okay
03:54I think maybe you're nice
03:56Why?
03:56This guy said I wasn't nice
03:57Right?
03:58And I wanted to like argue with him
03:59But I didn't feel that confident
04:00You know, I wasn't sure
04:01I didn't pay that much attention
04:02No
04:03I don't look
04:07I did not look good this evening
04:08Alright, do you want to know why I'm calling?
04:11Or do you want me to just reinforce that you're an okay guy?
04:13Can't I have both?
04:14I can reinforce you're an okay lady too
04:16If you like
04:17Ah, nice like that
04:18Alright
04:19You are an okay lady
04:21Thank you
04:22Now, um
04:23This project that I was working on
04:26Sustainable forestry
04:27Yes
04:28Yes
04:28See, I pay attention
04:30I'm interested in other people
04:31Okay
04:32Uh, anyway
04:33Uh, the project got axed
04:35It doesn't exist anymore
04:36So, um
04:38I have to come home for a bit
04:40What's gonna happen to the forest?
04:41Uh
04:42Uh
04:42Can I stay with you?
04:44Yeah, of course
04:45Awesome
04:46Hey, do you want to make pulled pork?
04:47I've been thinking about making pulled pork a lot lately
04:49With homemade barbecue sauce
04:51Yeah
04:51I've wanted to do that
04:52I would love to do that
04:54Yes
04:54Okay, we're gonna do that
04:55And, um
04:56Great
04:57Well, I have to go
04:58I have to go now
04:59What is barbecue sauce?
05:00I don't really know
05:01I think it's spiced tomato sauce, isn't it?
05:04I do have to go
05:05I think it's sweeter than tomato sauce
05:06Great
05:07That's what it is then
05:08Okay
05:08Bye-bye
05:09See ya
05:10Bye
05:11Look at him, it's horribly waiting
05:13Claire?
05:15So
05:15Let's all begin by looking at these two raisins
05:19Observe them
05:21One at a time
05:22First
05:24Looking at the one in the left
05:26And noticing
05:27And then the one in the right hand as well
05:30Are they the same size?
05:34Do they have the same degree of wrinkliness?
05:36How does the light shine on their folds?
05:39Mine just look like raisins
05:41Now, bring the raisins up to your nose
05:45Inhaling any fragrance or aroma
05:49Now, holding the raisins next to your ears
05:55Roll them between your thumb and your forefinger
05:59Do they have a sound?
06:03Laughter's great
06:04Feel how your body moves when you laugh
06:08How are the muscles contorting?
06:11Now
06:12Place the first raisin
06:15Into your mouth
06:16Don't swallow
06:18In fact
06:19Don't chew
06:20Oh, no, thanks
06:22Man, I've got your snob on
06:23Well, that's an adorable breakfast
06:29Niamh's here
06:30She's stayed over
06:32I've told her nothing about Jenny
06:34I'm meant to be seeing Jenny this morning
06:35Jenny had a fight with her mum
06:37Jenny's upset
06:38You have to help me
06:40Why are you doing this?
06:41Why are you making these choices?
06:42Are you okay?
06:43Josh!
06:44Hey
06:44Niamh
06:45I was going to make you some breakfast
06:46But I didn't know what time you'd be up
06:48Do you
06:48Do you want something?
06:49Yeah
06:49No, please
06:50No need to make you breakfast
06:52Delicious
06:52Oh!
06:59Uh
07:00Hey
07:04Niamh
07:05Tom and I
07:06We have to go and get some groceries for my mum
07:08So
07:08Do you need me to give you a lift to the station?
07:12Yeah, well
07:12I need to get some groceries
07:13It could be fun
07:14Okay, yeah
07:16All right
07:17This has to happen
07:18Yeah
07:18Niamh
07:20Tom has something to tell you
07:22I thought you were going to tell her
07:23No
07:23What?
07:25What?
07:26There's nothing we can talk about later
07:28Tom has been seeing a girl
07:30A child's girl
07:31She's 18
07:31Oh
07:34Okay
07:36So
07:37So what are you guys like?
07:40Like boyfriend, girlfriend?
07:41Or
07:41Um
07:43Kind of
07:45Um
07:45Sort of
07:47It's not really
07:47Not sure really
07:49Yeah
07:49He is sure
07:51They spoke about it
07:53And they decided
07:54They are boyfriend, girlfriend
07:55She is his girlfriend
08:01She is his girlfriend
08:01He is her boyfriend
08:04Right
08:06Cool
08:10Is Josh coming to the therapy choir?
08:14No
08:15Do you want to call him?
08:16Um
08:17Sure
08:17Oh
08:18All these chats
08:20Where you tell me
08:21That I'm too fragile
08:22For casual sex
08:23They haven't been about me at all
08:24Have they?
08:24They're just
08:25Because you're too scared
08:26To tell me about her
08:28I didn't say you were too fragile
08:30I was just concerned
08:31You might still like me too much
08:33Ma
08:33Ma
08:34No
08:35Not now
08:35This is a bad time
08:36This is a really bad time
08:38Hey
08:38It's Arnold
08:39Oh
08:40Hey Arnold
08:42This is weird
08:43Suddenly I realise
08:44This is very weird
08:45For me to call you
08:46From your mum's phone
08:47No it's fine
08:48She just dialed anyway
08:50Okay
08:51What's up?
08:52Hannah is in a choir
08:53Oh yeah
08:54The mental choir
08:55Therapy choir
08:56They're kind of sensitive
08:57Are you coming?
08:58Yeah
08:59Of course
08:59I think that's a skin cancer
09:01Is he coming?
09:02Yeah
09:02He's coming
09:03Is he bringing anybody?
09:04Um
09:05Are you bringing anyone?
09:06Um
09:06What's the future?
09:09Tom do you want to go to a mental choir?
09:11Tonight I can't
09:12I'm busy
09:13Doing what?
09:15Nothing
09:15You're seeing that girl
09:17Patrick will want to come
09:18Tell him to come early for dinner
09:20Um
09:21Your mum wants you to come early for dinner
09:23No I don't want to eat there again
09:24The food's too soft
09:25He says the food is too soft
09:27Yes
09:28Okay
09:28The food's soft
09:29I want him to visit anyway
09:30Patrick's coming
09:31She wants you to come visit anyway
09:33Yeah
09:33Okay
09:33See ya
09:34Bye
09:35Breakfast
09:39Oh thanks
09:40Why did I make you breakfast?
09:43You suck
09:44I hate you
09:45I ain't enjoying it
09:45No
09:45What am I doing?
09:48Look
09:49I know I stuffed up
09:50But we chatted about it heaps
09:53And you agreed we were just friends
09:54Alright
09:55It's not a big deal
09:55It's not like I was obliged to tell you
09:57It's not like I broke any rules
09:58You told Josh you had a girlfriend
10:00And Patrick right?
10:03Yeah
10:04Yeah
10:04That's every single one of your friends Tom
10:06You told all of your friends but me
10:09And why's that?
10:10Because it's a big deal
10:12It's news you tell people
10:13I just didn't know what to say
10:14You know what
10:15I may not be your girlfriend
10:16But I am still a human with feelings
10:19And you just want to use me as a flesher
10:21I'm sorry okay
10:22I'm really sorry
10:23You're so pathetic
10:24You're lazy
10:27And you have no self esteem
10:29And you have fat fat cheeks
10:32We're just happy
10:32You're not even that funny
10:34I mean Patrick and Josh are so much funnier than you
10:38Wow
10:39Shut up
10:41What's her name?
10:46It's Jenny
10:47Jenny
10:48That girl who's been leaving
10:49Fucking selfies all over your Facebook
10:52Oh my god
10:53I thought she was 12
10:54She looks 12
10:55I thought she was your niece
10:56Look
10:57I get it
10:58I'm sorry
10:59Jenny's actually really mature
11:01We like all the same things
11:03No tell me
11:03That doesn't mean she's mature
11:05It means that you have the brain
11:06Of a 16 year old girl
11:08She's 18
11:08I'm sorry
11:09What more do you want me to say?
11:10You need to learn
11:11To close your mouth
11:12When you're resting your face
11:14Solid point
11:16Hi
11:17Jenny
11:17Is that my phone?
11:20Yeah
11:20This is Niamh
11:22Has Tom told you about me?
11:23Great
11:24Do you mind if I put you on speaker?
11:28What's going on?
11:29Jenny
11:30This is Josh
11:31You're on speaker phone
11:32And Tom
11:33And his ex-girlfriend
11:34Niamh are here
11:35What?
11:36Jenny
11:37Tom has something
11:37He wants to tell you
11:38What are you doing?
11:40Tell her what you did last night
11:41Niamh
11:41Fine
11:43Fine
11:44Jenny
11:48Tom and I had sex last night
11:49Twice
11:50Tom
11:54Jenny
11:55Jenny babe
11:57Babe?
12:00I know I snuffed up
12:02I know I did
12:02But it was the last time
12:04I promise
12:05What?
12:07I'm sorry
12:07I'm sick
12:08I'm just
12:08I'm just saying
12:09I'm really sorry
12:10How can I make it up to you?
12:14Look
12:14Don't worry about it
12:15I can move on
12:16You two obviously have issues
12:17To sort out of it
12:18Jenny listen
12:19There are no issues
12:20For us to sort out
12:21They're just friends
12:22Tom
12:23Fuck me
12:25Just put it in rice
12:27You know
12:27It'll be fine in a few days
12:28Is this about time
12:31To tell you
12:32Class coming back
12:32Next week
12:35I gotta go
12:40I'm going
12:41Thanks
12:46Thanks
12:47He's such a jerk
12:52Yeah
12:53I mean I told him he was a jerk
12:55It's like you don't realize
12:56That he's such a jerk
12:57Because he's got this stupid face
12:58But he's just
12:59He's such a jerk
13:02He really
13:03Has indeed
13:04Been a jerk
13:06It's like a puppy
13:07That's shot on the rug
13:08You know
13:08Like
13:09What's the point in getting annoyed?
13:17He might have to go get dressed
13:20Yeah
13:24I don't think you can stay
13:28Sorry
13:30Yeah
13:32Yeah
13:32Get off here
13:35He loves you
13:45He doesn't love me
13:46He does
13:47And you love him
13:49I don't
13:50You do
13:50I don't love him
13:51You do
13:52Go and say hello
13:53No
13:53I will later
13:55No
13:55Go now
13:56What else have you got
13:57You can't just walk over
13:58He's not even wearing a shirt
14:00Oh I can fix it
14:01You take this off
14:02No come on
14:02Ginger stop it
14:03Take your shirt off
14:04We'll have something in common
14:06Come here
14:06Let me help
14:07Ginger stop it
14:08Don't worry I'll give it
14:12Yoohoo
14:13Hi
14:14I'm Ginger
14:15We saw you in Mindfulness
14:17Stuart
14:18Stuart
14:19Would you like to meet my friend Rose
14:22Come on
14:23Over here
14:25Stuart
14:27This is Rose
14:29Rose Stuart
14:30Hi
14:30I'm really into roses
14:33Actually
14:33Scent
14:36Beauty
14:37Velvety texture
14:40Roses have got it all
14:42I'll leave you to it
14:45Oh
14:48I don't think that went very well
14:50What?
14:56I said I don't think it went very well
14:58I feel bad about leaving me fine
15:02That makes me like a good guy right?
15:04Oh yeah
15:05Yeah
15:06So much empathy Josh
15:08Tell me what else do you feel guilty about?
15:10I feel bad about
15:12About
15:13Famine
15:14See Africa
15:16You know
15:17Uh
15:18Places that used to rent out DVDs
15:20Ugh
15:21What are you eating?
15:23I was hungry
15:24There was a peanut M&M in the back
15:26You got a whole car
15:27You can stop and get food
15:28You don't want to make us late for the mental class
15:30I don't want to take us late for the mental class
15:32I don't want to make us late for the mental class
15:33I don't want to make you these days
15:34Do you want to make us late for the mental class?
15:36What the fuck?
15:55Hey
15:55Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?
15:59I didn't want your parents to worry
16:00About what?
16:02Just me, I guess
16:04Oh God, so much self-loathing
16:07Look, can you, can you just go?
16:10Can I please just come in for a minute?
16:12I'm really thirsty
16:13There's a tap over there
16:14I'm sorry, Jenny
16:19It was the last time, I swear
16:21I don't get it
16:23If you want to be with her so much, just be with her
16:26Oh my God, no
16:28I do not want that, I swear
16:30What can I do to fix this?
16:36No, fuck, fuck, fuck
16:39Why didn't you order any food?
16:44I don't want to encourage them, you know
16:48I'm sticking it to the man
16:51You still poured it from lemonade?
16:53Yeah, I was very thirsty
16:56You're not really sticking it to the man
16:59You're just not being happily friendly to the man
17:03Yeah, I'm politely expressing disappointment in the man
17:07The dust rims are making me fucking furious
17:11Why is that girl smiling?
17:13Who does she think she is?
17:14Maybe she's thinking about love
17:16He doesn't know that
17:17Maybe she's thinking about eczema
17:19I really doubt that
17:20Oh, you love her
17:21I'm just gonna marry this girl
17:23Alright, she's quite attractive
17:26Could be worse
17:29Worse than marrying someone you have no sexual attraction to
17:31And it's impossible for you to feel romantic love for
17:33Girls have her strong points
17:36She can make babies
17:38That's impressive
17:38Yeah, but you'll hate the baby
17:40You'll hate the baby for chopping you on like a miserable marriage
17:43Don't say that about my marriage
17:45I just, I feel sorry for Rachel
17:47Sorry for this girl
17:48I think I'd do a good job of pretending to like my family
17:50Nah, she's never gonna understand why you don't love her
17:53You're gonna fight you in front of the kids
17:55It's very sad
17:56You'd be the worst
17:57No, I wouldn't
17:58Yeah
17:59Would not
17:59You would, even if you married a nice man
18:01No, I wouldn't
18:02Why?
18:03Why?
18:03Because
18:03I'm not really interested in caring about others
18:06Yes, I am
18:07I'm interested in caring about others
18:09I care about John
18:10I keep John alive
18:11His water bowl is always empty
18:13I feel it
18:13Nah
18:14Nah
18:16What?
18:19No
18:19No
18:20No
18:21Nothing
18:22Are you annoyed at me?
18:25You are, you're angry
18:26Look
18:26Are you angry at me?
18:27You are, you're annoyed
18:29You are
18:29No
18:30You are
18:31Josh
18:32I think my feeling's hot
18:34Aw, I was just playing
18:36Literally like stuck in traffic
18:37Going to see a shit choir
18:40So I can be nice to my sick mom
18:41Okay
18:42Good guy
18:42Good bloke
18:43I take it back
18:44I'm sorry
18:45Nah
18:46Josh
18:47Fuck yeah
18:48Nah
18:48Whoa
18:49Come on
18:50No thanks
18:50I'm sorry
18:51No interested
18:52Josh
18:52No thank you
18:53You're fine
19:07You're a good person
19:09Okay
19:10Are you okay?
19:33Yep
19:33Yep
19:33I didn't mean to make things weird
19:37Yep
19:38Fine
19:38Not weird
19:40You seem very uncomfortable
19:42So I'm sorry
19:43I was just playing Josh
19:45Yeah
19:45No I can't tell you how fine I was
19:48With the kiss
19:48I just
19:49What?
19:50I just really need to pee
19:51Okay
19:52Oh
19:52That's a bad thing for you
19:55Yep
19:55I've been strong
19:56But there is
19:56I am
19:57Seconds
19:59Seconds away
20:00You're moving so slowly
20:01Do you want to go outside?
20:04No I can't
20:05I can't go with
20:05Those people
20:06Watching
20:07What do you want to do?
20:10I just don't
20:11Know
20:11The cup
20:15Do I have to go in the cup?
20:20Oh god
20:21I think that's our only option here
20:25Yeah
20:26I am
20:27I am realizing this
20:29I don't want to watch you piss
20:42Why?
20:42I can't laugh
20:55I need to focus
20:57Oh god
20:59It's just
21:01It's getting full
21:02They always put so much ice
21:03Don't look
21:04I'm sorry
21:04Josh it's
21:06Don't look
21:07Okay
21:07Josh it's getting full
21:09You need to squeeze and stop it
21:10Stop it
21:11Use your muscles
21:11That's how I'm trying
21:12They're not as strong as the pressure
21:13Okay
21:13Just give me your fucking car
21:15There's no drink in it
21:16Oh god
21:19Oh god
21:20It smells
21:21Here here here here
21:22Use this
21:23Hold on
21:23Come on
21:24It's over
21:27It's
21:29It's gone
21:30Pissed yourself
21:33Yeah
21:35Yeah
21:35Yes I have
21:38Pissed myself
21:40Hey
21:46Here she is
21:47Wow
21:48You um
21:49You look great
21:50No
21:50Just don't
21:51Oh
21:52Okay
21:52How are you feeling?
21:54I feel ill
21:55I just freaked out
21:57And accidentally had a whole pack of the pocket mix
21:59Well you look great
22:02Hello Josh
22:10Where are you?
22:11The show's about to start
22:12What do you mean accident?
22:16Are you okay?
22:16No
22:17I'm fine
22:17I just definitely cannot come
22:20Oh well
22:21Oh that's a shame
22:22If you can't make it
22:23You just can't make it I guess
22:24Yeah
22:25I'll see you soon
22:26Yeah yeah yeah
22:27Okay
22:28Bye bye lovey
22:29Bye
22:29Hello
22:32I've got to tell you something
22:34Okay
22:36Hide and seek was fun
22:39Wasn't it?
22:40Yep
22:40Yeah
22:41Yeah
22:42We got a bit carried away
22:44And it was fun
22:44It was very fun
22:46I've got a wife
22:50Rose
22:50Oh okay
22:53That's alright
22:54Well I guess
22:58I
22:59It's very forward
23:00She's a bitch
23:02She's a real bitch
23:04But
23:06Yeah I shouldn't have
23:10Yeah
23:12Let's just not mention it again
23:15Yeah okay
23:17I'm gonna
23:21Give the shot on this
23:23Because it's gonna be
23:23Bloody autumn
23:24My baby's always dancing
23:42And it wouldn't be a bad thing
23:45And I don't get no loving
23:47And that's no lie
23:49We spent the night in Frisco
23:51At every kind of disco
23:54From that night
23:55I kissed our love goodbye
23:57Don't blame it on the sunshine
24:00Don't blame it on the moonlight
24:02Don't blame it on the good times
24:05Blame it on the bogey
24:07Don't blame me on the sunshine
24:09Don't blame me on the moonlight
24:12Don't blame me on the good times
24:14Blame me on the bogey
24:16What do you want?
24:23This is Gavin.
24:25Gavin was the last one left of all of his brothers and sisters.
24:29I thought we could call him Gavin
24:30because a friend at school went great when he was 14
24:34and his name was Gavin.
24:37I swear on Gavin's life
24:43I'm never seeing her again.
24:45He is so cute.
24:48We're going to make such good parents.
24:55Gavin.
24:56I love you, Gavin.
25:07Sorry, I'm covered in peace.
25:11Oh, God.
25:12Oh, yeah.
25:13Jump.
25:15What is it?
25:16Don't blame me on the moonlight
25:26Don't blame me on the good times
25:29Blame me on the bogey
25:31Don't blame me on the sunshine
25:34Don't blame me on the moonlight
25:36Don't live without a good start
25:38Live without a bogey
25:41Bogey!
26:06Bogey!
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