- 06/06/2025
Categoria
🎥
CortometraggiTrascrizione
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00:59Oh, great, oh, good, because I'm feeling really good, Joshie, better than ever, honestly, really, really.
01:05We should do something to celebrate.
01:06No, no, they're just letting you out of ICU, they're not sending you to the other bits, they're just to the regular bits.
01:11No, no, Josh, no.
01:14Oh, Joshie, please, please let me come home.
01:16Please, please let me come home, please.
01:19Okay, okay, okay, Rose, Rose, Rose, listen to me.
01:23Listen to me, this is a private hospital, so we can't make you stay here.
01:27But if you decide to leave, I'll have to call the public hospital.
01:30Now, if the public hospital thinks you're at risk, they will force you to stay with them, okay?
01:37Okay.
01:38One, two, one, two, two, four.
01:43Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah.
01:48Okay, yeah.
01:50Oh, the good Lord knows it.
01:53Oh, the good Lord knows it.
01:54Why don't you bring my puppy?
02:11He took him back to the store.
02:12He didn't?
02:13Did you?
02:14Yeah.
02:15Don't you seem sad?
02:16I know, he's excited to see all his little buddies.
02:18Oh, that's quite nice, it's firm.
02:23I like that, it's going to be good for my back.
02:27Have you found a boyfriend yet?
02:29No, Mum, I'm not the problem today, okay?
02:31You're the problem.
02:32I'm bored of being the problem.
02:35Hey, I've got to go, okay?
02:38I've got to help Patrick sit up for his birthday party.
02:39I'm baking a ham.
02:40Ooh, Patrick!
02:43Yeah, Patrick, okay, my housemate and friend, Patrick.
02:46Well, what do I do now?
02:48Get better.
02:49Oh, hell!
02:50I don't know, I was hoping they might have some ideas.
02:52Okay, well, have fun today, lovey.
02:54Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?
02:56No, no, no, come tonight for dinner.
02:59No, I have the party, I just, I just can't, okay?
03:06See ya.
03:07Come on, Mum.
03:08Hey, Mum.
03:21I don't have any coins.
03:23Yeah, you don't need any money in there, okay?
03:25It's all taken care of.
03:27No, no, I need coins to buy delicious chocolate.
03:29Can you bring me some coins, Josh?
03:30I just, I'm not going to be able to get in there until tomorrow.
03:33Well, as long as you bring me coins.
03:34Okay, let's go now, though, okay?
03:37No, no, why, no, why don't you just get out the middleman
03:39and bring me chocolate?
03:40Yeah, bring me chocolate!
03:41Okay, see ya.
03:59Hey, little fella.
04:00Do we really want people going into the spa?
04:10Hello.
04:11Oh, hi.
04:13Oh, shit, I'm, I'm here for the party.
04:15I'm, I'm early, no one's ever on time.
04:17I'm, I'm sorry, I'll, I'll go.
04:19No, it's fine.
04:19Welcome, welcome.
04:21Where would you have gone?
04:22I could just sit in the car for a bit and come back later.
04:25I'm Patrick, this is Josh, that's Tom.
04:29Hi, I'm, I'm Arnold, uh, Steve's brother.
04:32Oh, Steve, yeah, cool.
04:36I'm going to go take a shower.
04:37Oh, yeah, do you want, I made some elderflower gin spritzer.
04:40Oh, no, no, I don't want to take your elderflower gin spritzer.
04:44No, it's communal elderflower gin spritzer for the group.
04:46It's, uh, it's like for everyone.
04:48Everyone elderflower gin spritzer.
04:49I, I love elderflower.
04:51Well, if you feel the same way about gin and spritz,
04:55I would highly recommend this.
04:57I, I do, I, I do feel the same way.
05:00Let's do it, let's go for it.
05:02Hey, buddy.
05:14I'm worried I put the ham on too late.
05:16I don't think they're expecting to eat.
05:18Any time you bring out an entire leg of ham,
05:19they're going to be happy.
05:20I'm just very worried about this ham.
05:25Every party, we just end up standing alone together,
05:27not talking to other people.
05:29Why do we bother?
05:32I think I have a really big penis.
05:34Tom, I know.
05:35I know you think you have a big penis.
05:36Yeah, but I'm just coming to terms with it.
05:38Like, I always assumed, because it was me,
05:40that it was small.
05:41Tom, you're always trying to let me know you have a big penis.
05:43You're always just dropping those little penis hints.
05:45No, I'm not.
05:45Yeah, like the time you told me that you couldn't fit it into a toilet roll,
05:49you were trying to put it in a toilet roll.
05:50Yeah, but I didn't know that was big.
05:52Why were you trying to put your penis in a toilet roll?
05:54Because I'm curious.
05:56I'm a curious guy.
05:57Why are you telling me about it?
05:59Because I tell you things all the time.
06:01Yeah, okay.
06:02How, how, how big?
06:04It's, uh, how big is big?
06:06Like, six inches is average.
06:07What's going on over here, ladies?
06:09We're just talking about penis size.
06:11Thomas thinks he has a big penis.
06:14How big is average?
06:16Seven, seven inches.
06:17Really?
06:18Yeah, about six.
06:21Six?
06:22No.
06:23No.
06:23Seven.
06:25No.
06:25What about thickness?
06:27I don't know.
06:28I also, I don't know.
06:29I just, I'm not that interested in it.
06:30I don't pay that much attention to it.
06:31You know, Patrick, Patrick, is a toilet roll thick penis thick?
06:37Yeah, yeah, that's pretty thick.
06:39Oh, my God.
06:40He's asking because once he tried to put it in a toilet roll and it couldn't fit and he just needs you to know, by the way.
06:45I have a big penis.
06:47Me.
06:47Can you believe it?
06:48Mine's average.
06:50Just spot on average.
06:51I thought mine was bigger than average, but, uh, no.
06:55Turns out my idea of average is, uh, not right.
06:59Average is good, though.
06:59You know what, I'm really happy with it.
07:01It's, like, pretty, you know?
07:03And everyone always talks about size.
07:05Mine is aesthetically pleasing.
07:07Mine's bent.
07:08When do you think people are going to want to eat?
07:10I'm worried I put this ham on too late.
07:11Don't worry.
07:12Just whenever, whenever.
07:14Hi, I don't think we've met.
07:15I'm Tom.
07:15Hi.
07:17Josh, I'm Josh.
07:18This is Jenny.
07:19Hey.
07:20Tom was just telling us about his massive penis.
07:22Mm.
07:23No.
07:24Yeah.
07:25Yeah.
07:26No?
07:26No?
07:26Oh.
07:27No.
07:27How much steak?
07:28Oh.
07:29Tom was just telling us about his rubbish penis.
07:31It's, it's rubbish.
07:32No, it's rubbish.
07:33Oh.
07:33It's not rubbish.
07:34Oh, what is it?
07:35It's good.
07:36It's just good.
07:38It's good.
07:39It's like middling, medium average.
07:42I thought it was big.
07:46Okay.
07:47Yeah, it is.
07:47I have a big penis.
07:48Oh, wow.
07:50That's a creepy thing to tell my friend.
07:52Oh, yeah.
07:53Bragging about your penis Tom, what the fuck?
07:55I don't mind.
07:56Maybe next time I can tell you about my beautiful vagina.
07:58Oh.
07:59Oh, come on.
08:00Let's not be crass.
08:02Oh, it's so depressing in here.
08:31I'm going to pee.
08:51I'm going to pee.
09:01I'm going to pee.
09:02I'm going to pee.
09:06Grazie a tutti.
09:36Grazie a tutti.
10:06Grazie a tutti.
10:36Grazie a tutti.
11:06Grazie a tutti.
11:36Grazie a tutti.
12:06Grazie a tutti.
12:36Grazie a tutti.
13:06Grazie a tutti.
13:38Grazie a tutti.
14:08Ham shots for all!
14:18Nice ham, nice shots!
14:24Hey, looks like John likes you.
14:27Want some ham?
14:28Oh, no, I'm vegetarian.
14:30Do you want to give some to John?
14:32Oh, that'd make me feel uncomfortable.
14:34Wish that guy was wearing my frog onesie.
14:37Oh, I'm sorry, that's my brother.
14:40That's your brother?
14:41Yeah.
14:42Oh, really? Wow.
14:43Yeah.
14:44Wow.
14:45I'm adopted.
14:46Cool.
14:47John is also adopted.
14:48I adopted him, so...
14:50Maybe that's why you two got along so well.
14:53Why are you sitting under a table?
14:57What's that about?
14:59Um, everyone kept asking me how my weekend was,
15:02and I didn't know how to tell them this is my weekend.
15:06This is my weekend event.
15:07I, uh...
15:08I turned my mum into a mental home.
15:10That's...
15:11That's my weekend.
15:12No way, I'm mental.
15:13Oh.
15:15Really?
15:16Yeah.
15:17What type?
15:18Um...
15:19I don't know.
15:20Her mum thinks she doesn't need to be in there.
15:22Everyone thinks they're the least crazy person in there.
15:25You been in one?
15:26Yeah.
15:27Heaps.
15:28Are you crazy?
15:29No.
15:30No.
15:31I'm not, like, not...
15:32Not at your level.
15:33Yeah.
15:34Like, I'm, like, standard, you know, everyday level of...
15:37Crazy.
15:39Why?
15:41Oh.
15:42They just, they, um...
15:44They think it's maybe hereditary.
15:46Oh!
15:47Oh, not that...
15:48You don't...
15:49What?
15:50I don't...
15:51You...
15:52I just think you're crazy.
15:53I just...
15:54Not like that.
15:55Yeah.
15:56Like...
15:57That's fine.
15:58I'm not offended.
15:59I'm sorry, I didn't...
16:00I'm not offended.
16:01I mean, I can't be offended because...
16:02You're crazy, so it would look really harsh on me to pretend like that.
16:04It was insulting.
16:05So, that's cool.
16:06Oh!
16:07Oh!
16:08Oh!
16:09Oh!
16:10Oh!
16:11Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:13Oh!
16:14Oh!
16:15Oh!
16:16Oh!
16:17Oh!
16:18Oh!
16:19Oh!
16:20Suck my dick!
16:21Suck his dick!
16:22Massive dick!
16:23Yeah!
16:24Yeah!
16:26Ha-ha!
16:27You wear glasses!
16:29Shit eyes!
16:30Massively shit eyes!
16:31No, Arnold, it's still out time.
16:33You sure you're okay, Josh?
16:34You don't want to have a rest because you've had a rough day with your mum and all.
16:37Oh!
16:38Oh!
16:39Oh!
16:40Oh!
16:41Oh!
16:42At least I have a mum, orphan!
16:43Oh!
16:44Oh, man.
16:45What the fuck?
16:46What...
16:47Who are we playing?
16:48What's wrong?
16:49I'm...
16:50I'm adopted.
16:51He's teasing me because I'm adopted.
16:52Whoa, Josh.
16:53What the fuck?
16:54We're just playing.
16:55Yeah, it's funny.
16:56It's...
16:57It's okay.
16:58Oh, man.
16:59That's...
17:00That's my brother, man.
17:01That is so not cool.
17:02He said that thing about my mum.
17:03He can't handle that stuff.
17:04Yeah, he can.
17:05He just said it's okay.
17:06He's just being fucking polite, you douchebag.
17:08Steve, I'm not.
17:09He's not.
17:10It's so much more humiliating for him to have you tell him he's not okay.
17:13Alright, you're the one making him feel weird now.
17:15Not me.
17:16I'm not the monster here, okay?
17:17I'm not the monster.
17:22Can we...
17:23Can we drink these now?
17:24Nah, it's cool, Arnold.
17:25Nah, so you have to drink them.
17:26I got the ball in the same cup as the other ball and that means you guys have to drink
17:28all the cups.
17:29Every single cup.
17:30And our cup.
17:31Arnold, it's cool, man.
17:32Honestly, don't worry.
17:33I'm not gonna not drink them.
17:34I don't wanna waste them.
17:35You fucked me neither.
17:37Fucking party.
17:39Good time.
17:40All right, Joshy.
17:57Got a bit weird in there, that beer pie.
17:59Yeah, it's fine.
18:00I'm sorry, mate.
18:01Sorry, Joshy.
18:02Poor form.
18:03Poor form on the boys, mate.
18:05It's really fine.
18:06I get it.
18:07Okay, here's your brother.
18:08Get it.
18:09It's fine.
18:10A beer.
18:11All right.
18:12Me, you, Arnie, Patrick, in the spa.
18:16Shots.
18:17Yeah?
18:18Nah.
18:19Yeah?
18:20Josh doesn't like the spa.
18:21Nah, come on.
18:22It's like a peace offering.
18:23Nah, I don't need a peace offering.
18:25I promise I'm feeling very peaceful.
18:27If anything, I'm feeling too peaceful.
18:28Nah, this needs to happen, yeah?
18:30Like a party baptism.
18:32He doesn't have a point.
18:34Does he?
18:35Does he have a point?
18:36Yeah.
18:37Come on.
18:38Oh, gosh, no.
18:39No.
18:40I'm here.
18:41Okay.
18:42No.
18:43No.
18:44No.
18:45I don't want to.
18:46No.
18:47No.
18:48No.
18:49No.
18:50No.
18:51No.
18:52No.
18:53No.
18:54No.
18:55No.
18:56No.
18:57No.
18:58No.
18:59No.
19:00No.
19:01No.
19:02No.
19:03No.
19:04No.
19:05No.
19:06No.
19:07No.
19:08No.
19:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't take me back, I want to party with everybody, I'll party, I'll party.
19:15Hamcock! Hamcock! Hamcock!
19:20Hamcock! Hamcock!
19:23Do you like that? That's fun. The ham cock.
19:27It's a cock patchy, out of ham.
19:30I'm gonna call it calm, I'll take you back, okay?
19:33Stay here, just right, just stay right here.
19:35I'll stay right here, I'll stay right here.
19:37He's cute!
19:42Is everything okay? Yeah, it's fine.
19:45I'm sorry about my brother.
19:48I have to go, okay? Look me up on Facebook.
19:50I don't have Facebook.
19:52Okay, well, I don't have time to indulge you about why you made that choice.
19:58All right, well, let's do this.
20:07Oh, I hung out with those girls today, let's go over there.
20:13Yeah, Mum, I don't think that's...
20:16Are you Rose?
20:17Oh, yeah, hi.
20:18Yeah, hi.
20:19I'm Ginger. We share a bathroom.
20:21Oh, your shirt is so beautiful.
20:24The bathroom's a mess.
20:25You didn't pick up your towels. Why didn't you pick up your towels?
20:28It's just gonna get messy again.
20:30It's a shared space.
20:31You're worried about towels. I've saved your life today.
20:34You're a dirty tattletale.
20:37Do you know how hard it is to get a hairdryer into this place?
20:40They took it off me.
20:41Hey, Ginger, I'm Josh. I'm Rose's son.
20:43I couldn't give a shit.
20:44You want chocolates? Do you want some chocolate?
20:46And besides, I wasn't trying to kill myself.
20:49If I was trying to kill myself, I'd be dead.
20:51It's easy to kill yourself.
20:53It is.
20:54People do it by accident all the time.
20:56So you don't want a chocolate?
20:57Yeah, but don't sit there. Come here. This is my friend.
21:04Hannah, that's Rose and that's Josh.
21:07Rose is my new roommate.
21:09Hannah's depressed. Open the chocolates.
21:12So why are you here?
21:13I'm a sex addict.
21:15Oh, yeah?
21:16Yeah. I'm addicted to sex.
21:18How many times does someone have to have sex before they're an official addict?
21:21I don't know.
21:22Never found anyone that wants to fuck me.
21:24I know the problem.
21:27So why are you actually here?
21:34I'm bipolar.
21:35Boring, isn't it?
21:37Me too.
21:38I know that. I tricked the nurses into telling me.
21:40Gosh.
21:41You see, in here, we all hang out.
21:45All the bipolar and the depressed people.
21:48It's like prison.
21:49Except we don't separate into race.
21:51We separate into women.
21:53I saw you talking to the eating disorders.
21:56Like prison?
21:57Yeah.
21:58Like high school, mixed with prison.
21:59That is the most terrifying combination of places I could imagine.
22:02Does anybody want that last chocolate?
22:04Yes.
22:05Oh!
22:06Why don't we play that game from the film?
22:10What's the film, Josie?
22:11Notting Hill?
22:12Yeah, yeah.
22:13Yeah.
22:14Where the person with the saddest story gets the last treat.
22:17Yeah?
22:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:19That'd be good.
22:20Do you really think that's a good idea?
22:21Here?
22:22No.
22:23What?
22:24We'll make her sad.
22:25Look, Ginger's a sex addict.
22:26We'll make her sexy.
22:27Whoever has the worst losing your virginity story gets the chocolate.
22:30Yeah?
22:31You go first.
22:32Oh!
22:33Oh!
22:34I know this.
22:35I know this.
22:36He thought he was inside her, but he wasn't really.
22:38No.
22:39Yeah.
22:40No.
22:41I mean, yeah, but that doesn't really count, does it?
22:43I just, I have another story anyway.
22:45She didn't ask for attack.
22:46I thought I was doing a good job.
22:47No.
22:48Turns out my room was just dusty.
22:49I think I always told you to tidy your room and you never did.
22:51You never listened to me.
22:52Yeah.
22:53That's why.
22:54What about you?
22:55Oh, no, mine was lovely.
22:56My parents were away and Josh's dad took me out for dinner with all the money he had
23:00in the world.
23:01Oh, that wasn't sad at all.
23:02Your first time was with dad?
23:03Yeah.
23:04No, that is the saddest story I've ever heard.
23:06You're winning.
23:07Yeah, yeah.
23:08Very sad.
23:09Ginger?
23:10I was saving myself for marriage, but my first love, Roger, he didn't like that, so he broke
23:15up with me, and I got really angry, so I went to a party and I got very drunk, and I slept
23:23with his best friend, whom I hate.
23:28Okay, yeah, I think it sucks.
23:30I vomited on him.
23:31Okay, and I still think Mum's winning.
23:34No, it was very fat.
23:36Okay.
23:37Hannah, I was raped.
23:41I was raped too.
23:42What?
23:43I didn't know that rape counted.
23:44I mean, I was raped on the first time as well.
23:46Really?
23:47Yeah.
23:48She's lying.
23:49Am not.
23:50Are you lying?
23:51No.
23:52I still think Hannah should get the chocolate.
23:53Why?
23:54I don't know.
23:55She said it first.
23:56No.
23:57I'm sorry, Hannah.
23:58You owe me a chocolate.
23:59I'm sorry, Hannah.
24:00You owe me a chocolate.
24:02You owe me a chocolate.
24:03Sì.
24:05Sì.
24:07Non.
24:09Non.
24:11Penso che Hanna dovrebbe essere il chocolate.
24:15Perché?
24:17Non.
24:19Sì, Hanna.
24:23Sì.
24:25Sì.
24:53Sì.
24:55Sì.
24:59Sì.
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