- 5/20/2025
Grosse Pointe Garden Society Season 1 Episode 4
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Short filmTranscript
00:00your job we can't afford to keep this place i want both of you to be
00:03really honest with each other did you do something to my dog i'm gonna go stay
00:07with my parents alice she's just a friend nobody looks at
00:11their friend like that i thought we were just having fun
00:14you really are a pig so what does that make you there's something i need to
00:17tell you
00:23just need to ask you a question about the other night that fancy garden park
00:28any chance you know someone by the name of
00:33down
00:52doug what are you doing oh my god you look
00:56amazing you need to get ready i'm just going for
01:00a quick run we gotta leave soon oh that could work after probably i will
01:06never get this dress back on once it comes off
01:08fine by me
01:13okay just get your tux i'm on it babe thank you love you
01:20after my run
01:41i've never understood what's so great about a garden
01:51carefully curated flowers trapped in perfect formation
02:04they're like animals in a zoo
02:09they can't survive unless people give them food and water
02:15any word from doug why won't he text me back
02:18well maybe he's not getting them it says they were red
02:21well that is a rookie move on his part
02:28i don't know how i'd get through this without you
02:43and put them next to the wrong plant they'll kill each other
02:47so how would you say the garden is going
02:51i think the better question is how does the judge think it's going
02:55you haven't been keeping up with your hours well
02:59marylin spends more time huffing miracle grow than
03:03signing my time sheets
03:08okay real rules these thumbs aren't green enough for a garden club
03:15i just get in the way you gotta somehow find your place
03:27what if i can't you'll have to serve your 90 days in county
03:33so if gardens are supposed to be about nature
03:37i'd say they're pretty unnatural
03:42what's up with the 50 bloomfield hills broke into our meeting room last night
03:46how do you know because the only thing missing is our landscape design
03:49bloomfield hills red and dirty like watergate only way more important
03:54it's still cheating they should be disqualified well
03:58they won't be what the cops say that nothing of value is stolen except all
04:02our secrets to win the cup so they're not going to do anything
04:05maryland's making them take fingerprints but a garden club competition is not
04:09their top priority well that sucks how did they even get
04:13in
04:17sweetie what i think they're hydrated
04:33is that just for fun it's for miss rothman oh
04:37for school she said to draw something you learned from a friend
04:41huh well i like what you did over here the way you colored in that shirt
04:47thanks but over here do you see how the red goes outside the dress
04:52yeah hmm what's wrong mommy well nothing's wrong except
05:00you colored in the lines here so i know you could also do it over here
05:06maybe i should start over well that's up to you
05:09but we have plenty of paper
05:14so who are the people you're drawing you and daddy oh
05:17and is that your little brother uncle gary
05:22huh okay um
05:27well what did you learn about uncle gary cola says you like him more than
05:32daddy well that's a silly thing to say yeah
05:37she heard her mama talking about that on the phone
05:42how about some pot roast
05:53oh did they give you the burrito or the bowl because i switched it on the app
05:59oh hey expecting somebody else just brett any uh packages come for me
06:08yeah yeah i was gonna drop them at your parents
06:13but i didn't know if you'd be back
06:19so are you what
06:22back why is the serving size always two i should just make a
06:27bigger vitamin how many ways can i say i am sorry
06:31you want it in french you want it in italian i'll learn it
06:45just tell me what i have to say to fix this
06:52we're getting evicted
06:56what
07:02they can't do that well they're not running a charity alice but this is
07:05where we first moved in together and had our first christmas tree and
07:09burnt those cookies so bad the fire department had to come
07:12and where we both got the puke flu and took care of each other
07:16like this place is ours
07:20or it's just an apartment
07:26i'm gonna get a job heard that before it hasn't been easy no one will hire me
07:30as a teacher then that kind of your fault
07:32doug maybe we should just call it
07:38call what maybe you should go to new york
07:45without you what if this is the universe just
07:50making it easy you can't just give up it's not giving up
07:53when we both want different things
07:59what do you want i don't know be more of a grown-up
08:03i mean the app was down so i got you a bowl and the burrito
08:09oh hey sorry man i would have grabbed you something
08:13it's okay i'm not hungry
08:20me
08:42did you run a marathon yeah i gotta take a shower
08:45that's why you shouldn't have gone yeah but like now i'm pumped for the gala
08:49okay your tux is on the bed oh thank you baby
08:52hey uh did you pick up my cufflinks yeah
08:55they should be on the counter oh thank you
09:00if not check the nightstand
09:04hey do you need to shave i don't know if you'll have time
09:08your hair can be wet
09:19so
09:44okay there you go
09:48oh man that is a great deal on cat food when you get a cat with prices like that
09:54it feels like i should
09:57that's good uh hey sorry if that was totally weird the
10:02other day oh you guys got a lot going on
10:05yeah thanks man she is really hurt though
10:14okay just be cool if you weren't so hard on her
10:18right because uh because she's hurt look i don't want to get in the middle
10:22and dumb but it sort of feels like you're
10:26punishing her it's sort of none of your business hey i'm just looking out for my
10:29friend yeah you don't know what's going on i think
10:32i do
10:36right right yeah she tells you everything about our marriage no no no
10:40no that's not how it is maybe you just get off on hearing about
10:43our sex positions and money problems on why i'm such a bad husband you mean i
10:46listen to her and you suppose that i don't if you did
10:51maybe i wouldn't be standing here
10:57you might be her shoulder to cry on
11:01but i'm married to her bro
11:05you have a good day
11:24how are you doing fine why wouldn't i be you know
11:28mornings oh god sorry it's just it's been a week and it's only
11:34monday okay ladies let's settle in gotta make this quick because math
11:37club's in here soon and no one wants to mess with miss dwyer
11:40katherine let's shake a tail feather
11:44okay good morning um let's talk carnival so i've rented three bounce
11:50houses two water slides a dunk tank for the
11:53principal i can't believe she showed her father
11:56there were other women she just stands there uh
11:59three bounce houses two water slides we got it
12:04um what about food vendors how could she corn dogs that's it
12:13um
12:18popcorn any snacks without corn
12:34i'm sorry i'm not feeling well i'm sorry
12:38i don't see any finance experience but the job is writing brochures
12:46for a bank i'm confident i can figure out the numbers part we're really
12:49looking for someone with three to five years in banking
12:52well then i'd be a banker
12:56we're just looking for someone more qualified uh
13:02i really need this job what makes alice morris the ideal nanny
13:07well alice morris taught elementary school for four years before moving on
13:11to high school where i won educator of the year twice
13:14and i was nominated what's your take on grapes
13:19they're delicious they're killers nate's a choker are you cpr certified
13:25no but i have my master's in literature and i've been reading kaya eats detroit
13:31forever do you guys go out a lot because we
13:34need people who can find like the dope new pop-ups yeah i mean we
13:40love food what's that you're frozen oh i am uh hold on
13:50can you can you hear me now still frozen how about uh how about now oh my god
13:58you are making the gnarliest face you have me now
14:01you look so funny oh hi i'm back i'm back hi
14:09yeah we're gonna need someone with better wi-fi
14:21katherine uh uh i'll um i'll be more prepared for next
14:26week's meeting i swear why don't you take some time off
14:31but i'm the special events chair you've got a lot on your plate right now
14:36oh i always do come on katherine we all know what's going on in your marriage
14:42what does that have to do with the parents association honestly it's
14:45distracting i can handle it for everyone
14:50are you firing me i can't do that okay good
14:54because we're just volunteers then what are you telling me jillian
14:59don't have to decide anything right now just when you get home
15:03take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself
15:06am i setting the right example for a morning side prep
15:12so
15:22this is flora the roman goddess of flowers and she's
15:25with chlorus the greek goddess of spring i like to think they keep watch over our
15:30beautiful water lilies is that pittuccino marble straight from
15:34aquarium breccia oh my decorator put the same stone in my
15:38kitchen are you sure we aren't married if you planted those
15:41i'm going to propose right now they won us the cup last year
15:45gorge can you believe people accused us of genetically engineering them
15:50well i call those people sore losers it's actually just a special ingredient
15:56in our soil water love
16:01so we meet once a week which i know i know it's a lot to ask
16:05we all have our hands full oh i've read all about your wonderful charity work
16:10just wish i could do more are you still chairing the committee for the detroit
16:14food foundation huh 10 years running along with street
16:17girls fight back bark for bone oh i do tails for tops what about circle
16:22of hope compassion and action thought they went
16:25under for fraud no that was children of cabo right
16:30they never bought the little angels those bikes
16:32boogie boards oh well if you're interested in getting
16:39your hands dirty in a good way come join us i think i'd fit right in
16:46so do i condoleezza it's condi to my queen bees
16:50oh
17:16oh committing a crime to prove somebody else committed a crime is
17:23actually still a crime the case was unlocked
17:27again not how the law works fine but if you dust it for prints they'll
17:31match the ones your boys took at the garden so you want me to take down a
17:35bunch of uptight women for breaking and entering so another
17:38bunch of uptight women can win a gardening contest
17:44and we'll all be heroes
17:48uh it really is amazing to watch that brain of yours at work
17:52just don't call me bird brain well i kind of have to now
17:55it was a whole thing growing up yeah kids can be rough
17:59choking your parents when they find out you're pregnant in high school
18:03um
18:10if i were to do this what do i get justice yeah i wish that
18:18still did it for me okay what would
18:24getting a drink with you could get messy
18:30it could just be a drink
18:36i didn't say messy can't be fun
18:41why do i even go to grad school there's very little you need beyond sixth grade
18:46yeah except golf experience to work at the hut putt
18:49well how else are you going to get all those student loans you can't pay back
18:53hey are we on for housewives oh please say yes
18:57i can't take any more rejection i can't tonight okay
19:01when i don't know any longer i'm gonna see spoilers it's just not the
19:07best idea it's the reunion what are you talking
19:10about look if you're trying to fix things with
19:13doug maybe hanging out with me so much isn't
19:16helping what do you mean
19:21if i were your husband i probably wouldn't want you telling another
19:25dude all about your problems we're best friends
19:28maybe he has a problem with that that is so stupid if you were a girl i'm not
19:32well he still shouldn't be threatened by you why come on it would never happen
19:38right right he just doesn't get that we're not
19:42into each other like that yeah and the best part is we can be
19:46this close and not want to rip each other's clothes off it'd be like
19:49sleeping with a brother totally
19:53wait what about housewives oh i gotta stay and do inventory
20:01oh
20:13oh
20:22sweetie huh i think they're hydrated
20:32the whole town knows it's pretty hot goss
20:38marilyn wants to take me to church her minister is no saint trust me
20:42why are they all coming for me because it's fun to take a woman down from a
20:46pedestal but you slept with gary too honey i'm
20:49already in the dirt
20:52just doesn't seem fair well there's a reason it's called gross
20:58point
21:00rich bitches are gross gross is actually french
21:03for grand seriously it's the point by the lighthouse
21:07okay fine but all these people think that money gives you the right to be a
21:14judgy d-bag yeah but i grew up here so so they're all i know
21:22well now you know me
21:26so glad you're here really
21:30no one else is all they let me do is hand out trowels because i screw
21:36everything else up oh honey those aren't trowels
21:45right
21:56it's your recipe almost oh uh i was just
22:04waiting for it to cool
22:09where are the cherries
22:13kidding i'm kidding it looks delicious
22:19so how is the quilt coming still on track to be finished in time
22:26for the gala auction bet it'll raise a lot of money
22:31i can't change his mind that's not why i'm here believe me if i
22:36could he wouldn't have all those tattoos i need
22:39money
22:42all right well how many months do you owe three but it would just be alone i wish
22:49we still had that rental available we can't lose our apartment oh honey there
22:54are a lot of other dumps you could live i'm afraid he'll never
22:56but that's probably what you want
23:03look does a part of me wish that he had married some dyed-in-the-wool gross
23:10pointer who just wanted to push out a bunch of really cute grandbabies
23:14would make your life a lot easier
23:18it's not what my dad said it's not what my mom said
23:22it's not what my dad said it's not what my dad wants
23:41what can i say yours muse
23:50Go see if I can dig up some cherries for your cake.
23:54You'll thank me.
24:03Anything?
24:04No.
24:05Well, maybe there is some kind of emergency.
24:07Did you ask his parents?
24:08I don't want to freak them out, too.
24:10Maybe he went for another jog.
24:12A double jog.
24:14Why won't he answer me?
24:15Because he's jogging.
24:17Hey.
24:19I found Doug.
24:20Sir, you can't be back here.
24:22That looks delicious.
24:24Will someone please get this guy out of here?
24:28What the hell are you doing?
24:30I'm making my way through some shrimp toast.
24:32Where have you been?
24:34Getting hammered, Doug.
24:35I don't care where you have this argument, but it can't be here.
24:38Yes, I'm so sorry.
24:39Doug, come on.
24:39Let's go.
24:40Not until you tell me what's going on.
24:43I don't know what you're talking about.
24:45Oh, really?
24:46You don't?
24:47Then why are you leaving me?
24:50What?
25:05Sir, did you get my garden thief?
25:07I did.
25:08Oh, then I owe you that drink.
25:10Yeah, maybe another time.
25:12I know the perfect martini bar.
25:14I'm on duty.
25:15Okay.
25:16We'll go to a cop joint.
25:17I'm afraid there's not much to celebrate.
25:19Why?
25:20It's not who you want it to be.
26:50Yo, pass your bedtimes.
26:53Get lost.
26:54What is your deal?
26:55Beat it.
26:56Go.
26:58Move.
27:00My dad is paid.
27:01Okay.
27:01I don't work for you anymore.
27:03We need to talk.
27:03Make an appointment with my publicist.
27:05How about I call the cops for breaking and entering?
27:14The window is open.
27:15Oh, you screwed me so bad.
27:17We were just looking for a place to hang out.
27:19Why?
27:19To impress those losers?
27:21They are not losers.
27:22And why the hell would you losers want a bunch of landscaping plants?
27:25I don't know.
27:26Some girl spilled white claw all over them.
27:31Great.
27:31We were trying to clean it up.
27:33I'm gonna get kicked out of the club.
27:34It was stupid, okay?
27:36I could go to jail.
27:38How is that my fault?
27:39Because I wouldn't have done something so stupid if you hadn't done something so stupid.
27:45Oh, God.
27:48Okay.
27:55Can I ask you something?
27:58Okay.
28:00Promise you won't get mad.
28:01Oh, what?
28:03Why did you do your stupid thing?
28:13I don't know.
28:14I guess I just wanted that dumb club to think I could be more than just some rich bitch.
28:26Are you really gonna call the cops?
28:30No.
28:36Thanks.
28:41Your stepdad already knows.
28:44Ugh.
28:48And we still need volunteers for morning drop-off.
28:51Especially to keep an eye out for parents on their phones.
28:54A minivan almost mowed down a third grader last week.
28:57Before we move on to the carnival, our special events chair has an announcement.
29:09Morning, everyone.
29:14As many of you are probably aware, I've been going through a difficult time.
29:20And it's been suggested that I take a step back.
29:26So, I started thinking, who would be a better leader to represent Morningside Prep?
29:33And the first name that obviously came to mind was Dana.
29:37Dana's well-organized, has bomb style, and is one of the school's most generous donors.
29:42Terrific. Let's take a vote on Dana.
29:45But, then I remembered, she also got caught shoplifting those lip liners from Sephora.
29:52And I thought, is that the person we really want to put in charge of the gift bags?
29:59Well, next, I immediately thought of Katie.
30:04Everyone loves Katie, right?
30:06No one's more fun at the parent mixers, and she makes those amazing snickerdoodles.
30:11She broke our record at the bake sale.
30:13She also forgot her kid at the mall, because she was so high on happy pills.
30:18But do we really want the person who borrows from our medicine cabinet to be in charge of fundraising?
30:23I really don't think this is appropriate.
30:24Well, what about you, Jillian?
30:26Please don't.
30:26I think you'd make an amazing special events chair.
30:29Well, I certainly don't think anyone could question my character.
30:32But they might question, how is it the head of Gross Points Animal Shelter
30:37rescued a purebred, best-in-show bichon frisé?
30:42What's your point?
30:42My point is that we've all done things we're not proud of.
30:47We have all made mistakes.
30:49Isn't that the example we should be setting for our kids?
30:51Not this impossible standard that no one can live up to.
31:01Why don't we put it to a vote?
31:04Fine. Show of hands.
31:06Who here has never done something that they're going to regret for the rest of their lives?
31:13Anyone?
31:15Good!
31:19Then let's talk carnival.
31:21Tracy!
31:22Do you still have that lead on the cotton candy machine?
31:31Can I get you anything?
31:33I'm meeting my parents for dinner.
31:35St. Clair Grill?
31:36Gross Point tradition.
31:40Why do they all do that?
31:42It's like one of three places they like.
31:44I mean, why does everybody have to be the same in this town?
31:48What are you saying?
31:52I want to be a grown-up with you.
31:56Okay.
31:57But we don't have to do it the way everyone else does.
32:06Oh!
32:14They take ten percent, so I jack the prices.
32:20Have any sold?
32:23Enough to make rent.
32:29But what about, um...
32:32You're writing in New York.
32:35I'm not going.
32:37That's what you've always wanted.
32:40I want you more.
32:52New York Magazine. Congratulations.
32:54What is this?
32:55It's a pretty big deal.
32:56None of it makes sense.
32:57Weird. You start next month.
32:59It must be a mistake.
33:00It's not Hogwarts, Alice.
33:01A writing sample doesn't just magically appear on an editor's desk.
33:04Will you please calm down?
33:06Are you okay?
33:07We're fine.
33:08I'm talking to Alice. He's just really drunk.
33:10Oh, great. Now I'm the bad guy. That's your takeaway.
33:13Why don't we go outside and chill?
33:14You lied to my face!
33:15I didn't apply for this job!
33:17I did.
33:19What?
33:20I put you up for it.
33:25Why would you do that?
33:26Because you were too afraid.
33:27Well, it wasn't your decision to make!
33:29You gave up everything for him.
33:30What are you, her life coach, Brett?
33:32She's not happy, Doug.
33:35What do we do?
33:36Oh, right.
33:37Ride out the hurricane.
33:38Because you know my wife better than I do, Brett.
33:41That's not what it's about, Doug!
33:43Oh, my God. We all know each other's names!
33:45Tell me I'm wrong, then.
33:46Couldn't be more wrong.
33:47No, no, no, no. I want to hear it from you.
33:50I don't know.
33:51You don't know if you want the job or if you're happy.
33:53Guys, come on.
33:54Answer the question, Alice.
33:55None of us have had enough drinks for it to be this intense.
33:57Are you happy with me?
33:58Don't listen to her.
33:59Let's go settle this on the dance floor.
34:01Simple yes or no.
34:02Just please stop.
34:03What is wrong with you, man?
34:04Tell this guy to get the hell out of my face.
34:06Both of you, stop!
34:07They just ended already!
34:08End what?
34:09Who knows you better, Alice?
34:11Your husband or this joke?
34:13Yeah, I'm the joke. Have another drink, dude.
34:15Come on.
34:17Him or me?
34:29Go ahead.
34:31Can I open the wine I brought first?
34:34It's 10 a.m.
34:36I gotta work.
34:37On a Wednesday?
34:38Yeah.
34:39All the days between Monday and Friday.
34:44More for us.
34:48So why are you trying to get us all drunk?
34:51Tell him.
34:59Okay.
35:01So, you know how when I first joined y'all I was really trying to be a team player
35:05and I was like, let's plant lots of mint because it's so great in cocktails
35:09and you guys were like, totally, yeah, everybody loves mint
35:12except that it takes over and it ruins the whole garden.
35:16Did you plant mint, Bertie?
35:18It's worse.
35:19Okay.
35:25Oh.
35:26You know what? I'm actually gonna need that drink.
35:29What did you do?
35:30I know I can't help you guys win the cup by gardening
35:33so I tried to help by proving Bloomfield Hills cheated.
35:36Now we're gonna be disqualified.
35:38No, I did it. It's on me.
35:40That's not how a club works.
35:41It's on all of us.
35:43I'm really sorry.
35:45I'm just a disaster.
35:47Like, FEMA level.
35:51We're totally screwed.
35:54Maybe not.
35:56Wow.
36:06Maybe...
36:10no one needs to find out.
36:26Well, it's on all of us now.
36:34First rule of Garden Club.
36:46So what are you gonna do?
36:48I'm gonna ground him for a month.
36:50A month?
36:51Is that too much or too little?
36:54I don't know.
36:55I'm kind of the dad.
36:56You're kind of the mom.
37:01Kind of messy.
37:02Yeah.
37:04Not the fun kind.
37:09We can still be friends.
37:11Yeah, I'd like that.
37:14So let's start there.
37:17Friends.
37:25Knock, knock, knock.
37:32I got you the burrito and the bowl,
37:34because you deserve both.
37:35I'm, uh, I'm sort of busy.
37:37I feel like I was a total idiot the other day.
37:39No, it's fine.
37:40No, it's not.
37:41You are a catch.
37:42You're a stud.
37:43You're a hot snack.
37:44And any girl would be lucky to bone you.
37:46You don't have to say that.
37:47But it's true.
37:48Hey, can I still wait in here?
37:51Hi.
37:52Hi.
37:55You're gonna need a refuel.
38:01Thanks.
38:11Oh, and I love this one.
38:13But their heads are too big.
38:15That's exactly why they're so special.
38:17I don't get it.
38:18Well?
38:19You will this weekend.
38:21Huh?
38:22We're gonna go to the museum
38:23and see some paintings by a guy named Picasso.
38:26Is that the pizza?
38:27Yeah, take the cash for the tip.
38:38Hi.
38:39Is your mom here?
38:41It's not the pizza.
38:43Who is it?
38:44It's Uncle Gary's wife.
38:49Honey, go get your brother for dinner.
38:51Hey, loser!
38:53Food!
38:57I owe you an explanation.
38:59Is Gary here?
39:01God know it's over.
39:02I ended it.
39:03I'm worried something bad happened.
39:08I haven't heard from him in days.
39:19You gotta go.
39:22People think by planting a garden,
39:24they can control nature.
39:28Take it all that you want to see
39:31and be done.
39:33They mow lawns into golf courses.
39:36Just need to ask you a question.
39:38I'm in with a customer.
39:39About the other night,
39:40at that fancy garden party.
39:42Trim hedges into a maze.
39:45Any chance you know someone by the name of
39:48Doug Morris?
39:52He's my friend's husband.
39:53But not your friend.
39:55Is everything okay?
39:57But at a certain point,
39:59nature fights back.
40:09That beautiful oleander
40:10that pops up by your pool?
40:12You gotta replace it.
40:13You know anything about that?
40:14Ah, listen, officer.
40:16We both had a lot to drink.
40:18Things got wild.
40:21A single flower can kill a horse.
40:44Have you spoken to Doug since?
40:47Am I in some sort of trouble?
40:49Depends.
40:51On what?
40:52What he says when we find him.
40:54So the dirty little secret.
40:59Anything I can do to help?
41:01I'm sorry.
41:02I'm sorry.
41:03I'm sorry.
41:04I'm sorry.
41:05I'm sorry.
41:06I'm sorry.
41:07I'm sorry.
41:08I'm sorry.
41:09I'm sorry.
41:10I'm sorry.
41:11I'm sorry.
41:13If anything comes to mind,
41:14let me know.
Recommended
41:24
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