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  • 5/20/2025
Grosse Pointe Garden Society Season 1 Episode 13

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Transcript
00:00That bitch killed my dog. Give me the quote. No, it's Patty's
00:09Good news, baby. I found a way to get you that tuition. She was wearing a fancy blue dress
00:15She was with a friend in a red dress
00:18phony bitch
00:20Stole
00:21I can't have our baby behind bars. It's not going ice fishing. Where is he going shopping for his new life?
00:28Please tell me I didn't just hear they're gonna dig up the body. We have to move it
00:58I
01:17Did the Pattersons put in solar panels
01:20Well, they're not even working because Joyce refuses to cut down that big sugar maple that's blocking the Sun. Well, she's worried about her carbon footprint
01:28She should probably start with their private jet. You want a banana muffin? They're fresh from the oven
01:34You know what I want
01:37Good to get some of that Irish, but I don't like I want my quilt Marilyn Donna didn't deliver it
01:44No, you told me to pick it up the morning after the gala
01:48Did I
01:50You don't know where it is, do you
01:53Not at this exact moment, but you know where my money is though, let's just cool our jet
01:57Oh, these jets are just warming up. I will get to the bottom of it
02:02You better before Keith gets back from the cabin. It's no way to talk to a friend
02:09Friends don't swindle each other
02:13What happened to us, oh, please Marilyn
02:18You know what happened?
02:21If I don't get that quilt, you know what happens next
02:37Melissa
02:41It's um right here he's um, come in
02:50You didn't have to make the bed I don't want to interrupt you guys it's only gonna get a little messy again
03:00Anyone want coffee I'm caffeinated
03:13She's having a hard time at home. Yeah, it's none of my business. I'm sleeping on the couch
03:21I wanted to send some random guy to serve him
03:26You don't have to do this. I
03:28Thought it would be more humane if I brought it myself. I meant take the kids
03:33Do you have a lawyer?
03:34With what money just want to make sure that you have a fair shot at the custody hearing now
03:38You want to play fair? I'm not the one who put a knife to that guy's throat again
03:42scissors
03:45Just get a lawyer
03:50I
03:56Should go you don't have to yeah. Well can't hide here forever
04:03At some point I'm uh, I'm gonna have to face what we did
04:12Your garden is only as good as the seeds you plant
04:16But it's hard to tell when you get a bad seed
04:41And you never know how many there are in the path
04:46There's bagels in the kitchen
04:50I'm good. Thanks. Yeah, somebody picked weird flavors like blueberry and garlic
04:59Anything else I can do for you you remember that bracelet you got off that tweaker gas station guy
05:07So in the end every seed that's planted is a flip of a coin
05:12Cuz what looks perfect on the outside might be totally rotten on the inside
05:18Okay, which one of these says put me on the side of bus?
05:23They look the same she looks honest
05:26She looks like a murderer. Well. She looks professional. Yeah like a hitman
05:31She looks professional yeah like a hitman come on, babe. They all look amazing. They all look like mug shots
05:40Mommy put that in the compost just goes to the same place, baby, but they won't break down in the trash
05:45Oh, I smell you science girl. Okay. Go get your backpack
05:51What's the point oh well 30% reduction in landfill waste oh, I mean all of it
05:58How do I teach our kids to recycle and respect the planet
06:01How do I pretend to be someone that you can trust to sell your home?
06:04How do I organize PTA food drives and book fairs?
06:09You just do
06:15Okay look you put your shoes on you go outside, and you just get through the day
06:21Okay, you know one's gonna be able to tell the difference between the realtor and the hitman
06:51You
06:59What you
07:01Absolutely not think about it the whole point of compost is to break down things we want to get rid of we can't
07:07compost my husband's father
07:10I'm not sure how to put this delicately then don't it only takes a month to mulch a human body
07:15Please tell me you did not look that up on your phone. Oh, Eddie reference a chicken in her science project
07:20So I'm all parking it
07:22There must be someplace more humane
07:26I'm open to any other alternatives. What about a freezer?
07:30who's
07:32Dude, you have that big one in your garage. Oh sure we'll just tuck him in right next to Addie's ice cream sandwiches in Dakota's
07:38frozen waffles
07:41Once they finish the site survey they're gonna break ground
07:45We have to move quiche now
07:48We still be enriching our soil
07:52Maybe quiche is just what we need to win the Cup
07:55I'm just saying if you believe that God has a plan for everyone
08:04The math just ain't math in a pill popper with a bunch of priors stealing a bracelet
08:09That's up to me then why'd this Pete guy corroborate his story Pete who's Pete some drifter who washes windows for change
08:17at the station
08:19That's your witness
08:22He told me what the lady was wearing
08:24He also mentioned the self-serve propane tanks are
08:27Blocking the government from reading his thoughts. He described her friend wearing the red dress, too
08:36Look I admire your ambition here Duncan, but we're talking about a couple of junkies
08:41But both those dudes were so specific about that red dress
08:47Okay said it sparkled like a Christmas ornament sounds like they were high
08:54Sounds like the one that your friend was wearing too
08:59Who you know the one that came to see you that same night
09:14You want to make a name for yourself
09:18Just trying to do what's right, all right, but if you poke enough bears one's bound to wake up
09:30Yes, sir
09:39So based on Donna's rudimentary timeline the quilt went off the grid around 1100 hours who else knows
09:45You a daughter the only ones with clearance
09:49Clearance
09:56We're not on break Donna
09:59Every second counts in the kidnapping case. What is all this?
10:03So we are cross-referencing every guest at the gala who drives a black Cadillac with everyone who'd been on a quilt
10:09And
10:10You expect someone to just confess when Donna joins the bureau. She was trained in voice analysis. I
10:18Can hear when you're lying?
10:22What if it's just gone what do you mean I'm just saying sometimes things that get stolen aren't always recovered
10:29Say that again, but slower
10:33If we don't find the quilt Alice no one will ever bet on anything at the gala again
10:38Let's get to work
10:45Hold for Marilyn paper towels by the sink
10:49Gary's wife Amanda your son
10:54Amanda
10:56How's that cute baby girl ears
11:08I
11:25Will not rest until you tell us all where you've been keeping our mother-loving quilt
11:34Amanda mills doesn't have it
11:39I'm sweetie
11:43You're out of paper towels
11:49Hi, thanks for coming
11:55This for me 15-year McAllen
12:03Why am I here no we've been going about our marriage all wrong
12:09agreed
12:11I'm glad you think that too
12:16So let's change that
12:21We've been so consumed with what you need
12:26There's nothing left for me
12:29What do you need?
12:31Well first I want custody of the kids. Yeah, that was our plan and then I want to go back to work
12:37You're the one who wanted to take time off you're a great lawyer and maybe I should go to therapy
12:45Whatever it takes I just want you happy no
12:49No, I don't want to be unfair to you I appreciate that
12:54Which is why I want a divorce
13:07You
13:11Bought me a bottle of 15-year for first anniversary
13:22We were different then
13:24I
13:33Am covered in blisters you deserve everyone
13:38Almost there guys where China
13:41Actually, we'd end up in Australia. That's what's straight down
13:45Once we do this it's over as long as they don't find a body. He's just a missing person. We're not criminals, right?
13:51Just horrible human beings
13:57Guys I hit something Oh God
14:18Where's the rest of him
14:21Oh
14:31No, no no no no no no
14:36Keisha's gone
14:38Oh
14:44Gotta be the cops should be crime tape everywhere. Yeah, and it'd be all over the news
14:52Who else would take a dead body you read about those people every day, where are you reading this my phone?
15:09Wow
15:15Y'all are quite the gardeners
15:17What's how much yeah just for the body you even have that kind of money. Oh
15:24He knows
15:26Everything well listen you can't give it to him
15:27I don't want to give it to him to the mission of guilt and they just keep coming back for more and more and more
15:32Until the only way out is to expose yourself
15:35Literally sounds like you're speaking from experience. Let's just say don't Google me with the safe search off. Oh my god
15:41You know, you really shouldn't be here
15:44Where else am I gonna find a dirty cop? You know, I need to lay low for a while
15:48Aren't you supposed to serve and protect not like this?
15:53Well, who else is gonna pull this prick over and plant a kilo of coke under his seat?
15:581985 I could end up in jail. Yeah me too
16:05Me too
16:08What's going on I
16:12Didn't I
16:15Didn't want to worry you yet yet
16:18Now I'm worried. It's not that I can't handle
16:34What do I do
16:46I'm your friend
16:51Yeah, it's not my friend guys been here all night well, you cannot keep it
16:56You might as well enjoy it cuz we're about to kick him out
17:02Hey champ
17:04So what you're stalking me now to just looking to split a little calamari with you why don't you do that with your goon
17:11Huh, but when you put on me
17:14That guy's a dirtbag. Yeah, it's way worse than that
17:18How about some wings champ? Hmm quit calling me that come on
17:24You did it you knocked me on my ass
17:27lights out
17:29Okay, yo, just go home man
17:32I wish I could I'll call you an uber. She left me
17:44When you guys work it out I gave her cars houses vacations
17:53Even a botched vasectomy, but I never could give her the one thing she ever really wanted. What's that Connor?
18:00You
18:04She left me for you. Yeah for all the wrong reasons
18:12She's got a funny way of showing it. All right, beat it pal
18:17I
18:26Only hurt the ones you love champ
18:28I
18:46Want to take a breath
18:48That's true
18:55I like to you when I see
19:05I like to you to see them true
19:18I
19:48Oh
20:18I
20:28And over here next spring we're gonna plant the whole row of cherry blossoms, I love those really no, where's my money at?
20:35Um, oh here she is. Oh
20:39Sorry, my banker was asking a lot of questions
20:43Okay, let's do this
20:45Whoa, where's our body? Yeah, and all those pictures that you took of us
20:51Coordinates SIM card
20:56Yeah, you first no you first like we're gonna trust you you people are the murderers
21:04Why don't we exchange at the same time? Yeah, fine count of three
21:15Don't get frosty pal
21:17Okay
21:40What were you thinking I was gonna do what she did only on the count of two that's not a plan
21:44Yeah, but it never ends with guys like this now it will whoa. Okay, just let's hold on. We will get you the money
21:51Hey Siri, call the gross
21:53point Police Department
21:58Dammit Siri police department
22:02Look, I can Venmo you that's not gonna work. Yeah, whatever Siri
22:07Okay
22:11Sir are you okay? Is it your heart?
22:20Not again, we should probably do something we really should
22:32But if we didn't
22:37And
22:42He just expires
22:46Then
22:48This all goes away. We can get Keesh back
22:51nice, honestly, it's an act of God not to pile on but
22:56It's not exactly like the world needs him. Oh, yeah, he's a terrible person. Mm-hmm
23:03Then what does that make us
23:07Oh
23:10My god, you're heroes true heroes all of you
23:14We just did what any decent human being would do. Are you kidding me? They said it was like a Widowmaker. Oh
23:21That's the bad one. Yeah
23:24He wouldn't be here if you guys hadn't done CPR. Well, it just wasn't his time
23:30Well, it's still touch-and-go
23:33It is
23:35But are they leaning more?
23:385050 6040 it's just too soon to tell
23:45Sorry, I'm a mess
23:48Of course you are he's your dad if you can call him that
23:53What do you mean? I don't know. He just
23:56Wasn't really around much when I was a kid
23:59I mean he doesn't care about you. I don't even have any pictures with him
24:10You'll just have to take some together when he wakes up you guys are angels
24:15You
24:24Know he's always reminding people
24:26Innocent until proven guilty
24:29someone who's guilty
24:31cross off Brandy Bowman
24:36That's nearly everyone Marilyn well
24:39We have Donna still going door-to-door. So maybe that will bear fruit
24:42Or maybe it won't
24:46What have you been smoking Alice I know where the quilt is
24:54Okay, please tell me only if you tell me something first anything
25:16You
25:21Why do you have this
25:29Tonight the chef has prepared
25:33some minced sole moon
25:36Demi glace of truffles
25:40And
25:43Mr. Fingers time for dinner
25:51Mr. Fingers
26:09Oh
26:39I
27:00Didn't know who else to call
27:03These you don't have to do this
27:05My mother always said have a cake on hand because you never know who's gonna drop by or what feelings need eating
27:13Oh, honey, I know I know
27:16Why would Alice's dog be in my backyard?
27:19She's an animal the yards and gross point they get out
27:24But next door at the richness she would've been shot by a sprinkler stuff stuff. Don't do this to yourself
27:35I
27:40Wish you'd never loan me that damn thing
27:43You wanted it to fix your coyote problem. You knew guns scared me
27:49Don't you dare put this on me? I don't even know how to shoot. That's why I suggested the class
27:57I'm going to tell my daughter-in-law
28:00That you smoked her dog, do you have any idea how much that could hurt buzz
28:07What about my family
28:09Well, there's there's an election coming up patty. Oh, that is disgusting even for you
28:14This could be the chap a critic of gross point. Please buzz is a Republican
28:21Feedbacks are a bitch patty
28:24I
28:27Excuse me. Well, you're just a piece of trash that flew in from downriver
28:33Big old mess of teased hair and drugstore eye shadow. I mean there'd be no country club
28:41No quilting circle
28:45No table at the grill, I mean out of it without me I
28:49I was a long time ago thing is I can still take it all away
29:07What do you want
29:19I
29:24Please
29:26Say something
29:29Why didn't you tell me I
29:31Wanted to you acted like my friend. I am your friend Alice and
29:37You call me when your cat is actually attacked by a coyote
29:41Because I thought that you'd understand because you shot my dog when you put it like this is beyond mental
29:48Marilyn
29:55You have
29:58No idea
30:00How different things would be if you would just come clean believe me if I could go back and just undo it all
30:10Yeah, me too
30:13Hiding is that awful. It's just lots of person
30:19It just eats at you from inside, you know
30:27Yeah, let's be terrible changes you forever
30:35I can imagine. I'm really sorry
30:42I
30:50Forgive you
30:58You're a wonderful person
31:05I'm no better than you
31:13You
31:18Sweetie
31:21You said you knew where the quilt is
31:26It's gone Marilyn
31:35There's a full workout facility with like weights and a pool and those climbing walls
31:41Dope and you know, it's free. They're even hooking me up with a nutritionist. I don't even know what that means
31:51We should take a selfie
31:53Like now, yeah, we don't have any pictures. I'm gonna do that social media crap. I just want something to remember you by
32:01I'm gonna be here till summer. Yeah. Well, I might not be
32:04I
32:06Where are you going?
32:09You never know
32:12Does this have anything to do with that Cadillac you stole
32:21How'd you get so smart
32:26Genetics
32:29Dude
32:31Not cool, not cool. I got it. Okay, that's one. That's the one
32:44What are you doing
32:46I'm waiting for you
32:49The judge isn't gonna like that shirt. So you need to take this seriously
32:59This isn't just about the kids Melissa
33:05We're gonna be late they're just an excuse Brett you're punishing me
33:10Come on, Mel. I wish we could give it another shot. I
33:16Just
33:18Can't right now I am NOT in junior high and our kids aren't rocks you can throw at me on the playground
33:28Huh
33:33Where are you going not in there? Don't be stupid
33:44Just make sure what you're doing in there is for the right reason
33:58Hey
34:01You're probably at the courthouse
34:05But I realized I never answered your question from the other night
34:11And I guess the truth is
34:15Yeah
34:17When we're together sometimes it does feel
34:23Like there could be something more
34:28I am
34:31I've just been getting a lot of stuff
34:33wrong lately and
34:37I wanted to get something right for a change
34:42So
34:45This is Alice by the way
34:49Okay
34:54Can I help you man
34:59I did something you guys should probably know about
35:03Oh
35:27Thank you
35:33Or even
35:38You're a good friend Patty
35:43Not anymore
35:47Hold on to this
35:51Why
35:55So you never forget what you did
36:04I
36:09Mean
36:11Hey
36:13How was the trip? Oh
36:16It was just the vibe I needed well you have a lot going on
36:22Yeah
36:25I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at the gala
36:30Who cares what other people think
36:33How very ungross point of view honey this girl is from gross eel
36:42Yeah, oh
36:45So I
36:47Forgot to cover the patio furniture. Oh, I'm sure dad did it before he left
36:51What do you mean you think your father would ever risk ruining our new patio furniture?
36:57He wasn't at the cabin mom
37:00I
37:02Didn't you to go ice fishing I
37:08Haven't seen dad since the gala
37:16Where should I begin let's start with your name Alice Morris
37:24M-o-r-r-i-s
37:25Okay, so what'd you do miss Morris?
37:29Hey, bud
37:30You take this. Oh, no, I got it. I pulled a double already. So why don't you get out of here?
37:38Why I'm just trying to give you a break
37:44Well, let me get her statement then I'll head out you were saying
37:51Here's the thing about bad seats, they don't all start out that way. This is embarrassing
37:59It's a moment mother nature loves to throw curveballs
38:21How will we ever be the same
38:27We won't
38:30We'll be better
38:40Sometimes there are factors in the garden beyond our control
38:51A surprisingly warm spring can dry your seats out
39:09And even besties can't grow in shoddy soil
39:21I
39:29Doesn't feel right doing this without Alice
39:32Has anyone heard from her? She left me a strange voicemail strange. How like not herself
39:42Maybe all of this is just too much for her
39:47Maybe we should have left him in that guy's storage locker
39:51At least now he's helping the planet
39:54Yeah, next spring. I'll be part of a beautiful garden
40:05Rest in peace Keish
40:21I
40:31Can't wait to go back to being a basic bitch
40:34So
40:43It doesn't always matter where your seats come from or how much you spend on them or how perfect they appear
41:05Oh
41:08In the wrong environment all seats can go bad
41:15We trusted you

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