Eddie Pepitone - For the Masses (20) - video Dailymotion

Fyah TV Comedy

Comedy's "Bitter Buddha", Eddie Pepitone, is a ranting absurdist and a self-deprecating rage machine. His random non-sequiturs are a refreshing antidote to stand-up’s standard observations. #comedy #standupcomedy #standup

Transcript

00:00Ladies and gentlemen, Eddie Pivotal!

00:30I'm on Mali!

00:41Yeah, I'm on Mali!

00:46I timed it perfectly!

00:49I just want to rub!

00:52I want to rub!

00:56I want to rub on all of you!

00:58With your consent!

01:05Fucking Mali is good!

01:09I fucking love Mali!

01:12It's like, oh baby!

01:17This is good!

01:19I just think it's funny to be like

01:21the blue collar angry guy

01:26but he still enjoys Mali!

01:30But he doesn't get rid of his anger!

01:35He still doesn't get rid of his anger!

01:38Like he's at a rave!

01:40The little glow stick going,

01:44I'm over here!

01:46I'm over here!

01:49I move pianos for a living!

01:58That's the business I'm in!

02:02You ever see those concert pianists

02:05who fucking are just on their fucking piano?

02:08That's what I do!

02:11I bring him those fucking things!

02:14Mozart would have been shit without guys like me!

02:19I'm on Mali!

02:23I'm on Mali!

02:24You're lucky to see me!

02:34No, thank you very much for coming!

02:37This is very lovely and

02:38that's it for me!

02:40I just wanted to do the Mali bit!

02:41I want to keep my specials short!

02:45You know what I mean?

02:46You know?

02:48Just quick little snippet

02:50because that's the attention span

02:52of people these days!

02:55You know?

02:55People invite people over

02:57to their houses

02:59and they just watch

03:00one car crash on YouTube

03:02and then they're like

03:02alright!

03:03Alright!

03:06Oh!

03:06Taping a special

03:12such a heightened

03:14fucking reality

03:16you know?

03:17And I'm such a neurotic

03:18fuck

03:19you know?

03:19I'm like

03:19all day

03:20I'm going

03:21I don't deserve this!

03:24Anybody else have

03:25like a big thing

03:26they're gonna get

03:27and they're

03:27they just want to

03:28self-sabotage it?

03:31You know?

03:31They're just like

03:32like I look in the mirror

03:33and I

03:34and I'm like

03:35you owe people

03:36money!

03:41You owe people

03:42money!

03:45They're sort of like

03:46half affirmations

03:47you know?

03:48Like

03:48half affirmation

03:50half recrimination

03:51that would be good

03:53huh?

03:53Having recriminations

03:54a daily recrimination

03:57that'd be good

04:01right?

04:01Instead of the

04:01affirmations

04:02a daily recrimination

04:04like

04:04I never

04:05caught

04:06a

04:06fucking

04:06break

04:07that was

04:10your daily

04:11that was

04:12your daily

04:13recrimination

04:14with

04:16Eddie

04:17Pepitone

04:18these are great

04:19ideas

04:20and you're lucky

04:21to see them

04:21I know

04:24you're like

04:25thinking

04:25holy shit

04:26this guy

04:27he's got

04:28he comes from

04:29good stock

04:29yes

04:30yeah I'm from

04:36I'm from good stock

04:37my father

04:38he just

04:39fucked

04:40and fought

04:42at the

04:42docks

04:43that's all

04:44he did

04:45he fucked

04:47and fought

04:48at the docks

04:49we

04:49don't even know

04:50where the docks

04:51are

04:52okay

04:53we don't know

04:56where

04:56they are

04:58it's where

05:02the shit

05:03gets delivered

05:04my father

05:07just sucked

05:08on salt

05:09to survive

05:10at the docks

05:12he slept

05:12at the docks

05:13he didn't have

05:16fucking flowers

05:17on his lattes

05:19he drank

05:21his own

05:21urine

05:22before

05:25the water

05:25world

05:26bullshit

05:27he just

05:28drank

05:29his own

05:30urine

05:30and little

05:31shot glasses

05:32with the

05:33other guys

05:34let's hope

05:37it ends

05:37let's hope

05:39everything

05:40comes

05:40fucking

05:41let's hope

05:43fascism

05:44comes

05:44and there

05:45are shootings

05:46every day

05:46he didn't

05:49want to go

05:50on

05:51he didn't

05:53have

05:53fucking

05:54blankets

05:56cuddle

05:58blanket

05:59I did

06:00recently

06:00get a

06:00cuddle

06:01blanket

06:01I'm a

06:03man of

06:04comfort

06:04I'm also

06:04a man of

06:05revolution

06:05but I'm

06:06a man of

06:06comfort

06:07I'm a man

06:09of comfort

06:10you know

06:10little cuddle

06:12blanket

06:12from sharper

06:14image

06:15put it

06:17around

06:17me

06:18watching

06:19a murder

06:20anybody

06:24else

06:25when the

06:34fuck

06:34did murder

06:35become

06:36entertainment

06:37when the

06:42fuck

06:42did that

06:43happen

06:43that is

06:50OJ

06:51someone

06:51yelled

06:52that's

06:52probably

06:53right

06:53the

06:58fuck

06:58are

06:59people

06:59doing

07:00just

07:00like

07:00put

07:01on

07:01a

07:01murder

07:02put it

07:04on

07:05put it

07:05up

07:06crank

07:07that

07:08murder

07:08it was

07:09a good

07:09one

07:10they

07:11never

07:12caught

07:12the

07:12guy

07:13they

07:14never

07:15fucking

07:15caught

07:16him

07:16how

07:17great

07:17is

07:18that

07:18are

07:18our

07:18lives

07:19that

07:19mundane

07:20now

07:20where

07:22we're

07:22like

07:22getting

07:22oh man

07:23it is

07:24a sign

07:24of

07:25our

07:25culture

07:26we're

07:26shot

07:27it's

07:27over

07:27you know

07:28we're so

07:29corporatized

07:30I like

07:30walking to

07:31Starbucks

07:31not to

07:32brag

07:32I'll walk

07:34in a

07:34Starbucks

07:35and I'll

07:35see

07:36it says

07:36lately

07:37it says

07:37blonde

07:38espresso

07:39and I'm

07:39just like

07:40hello

07:41blonde

07:45espresso

07:46we're

07:50too

07:50fucking

07:51comfortable

07:51my father

07:52on the

07:52docks

07:53he didn't

07:55have fucking

07:55cuddle

07:56blankets

07:56from

07:57sharp

07:57images

07:57he would

07:58just

07:59take

07:59rats

08:00and put

08:01them

08:01live

08:03rats

08:04and put

08:05them

08:05near

08:06him

08:06for

08:06warm

08:07just

08:08holding

08:09live

08:10fucking

08:11rats

08:11and they

08:16would

08:16gnaw at

08:17him

08:17and he

08:19liked it

08:19because

08:20he made

08:21them

08:21feel

08:21try to

08:28deal

08:28with the

08:29truth

08:29here

08:29tonight

08:30you're

08:31not

08:31going

08:31to

08:31hear

08:31a

08:32lot

08:32of

08:32shit

08:33about

08:33dating

08:34and

08:38car

08:38and

08:41cargo

08:42pants

08:42and

08:45how

08:45fun

08:45everything

08:46is

08:46it's

08:48not

08:49fun

08:49we're

08:49in

08:50end

08:50times

08:51other

08:54generations

08:55have

08:56said

08:57that

08:57but

08:58we

08:59really

08:59are

09:00go

09:02fucking

09:03figure

09:03these

09:05are

09:06hard

09:06hitting

09:07you

09:08want

09:09dating

09:09material

09:10you're

09:11in the

09:11wrong

09:12fucking

09:12place

09:13even

09:15though

09:15dating

09:15is

09:15nuts

09:16sure

09:20it certainly

09:21is

09:21because

09:24my dad

09:25lived on

09:26the

09:27docks

09:27I

09:28grew

09:28up

09:29he

09:29taught

09:29me

09:29some

09:30things

09:30and

09:30one

09:31I

09:32love

09:32to

09:33wave

09:33at

09:33boats

09:34I

09:36fucking

09:37love

09:37it

09:37you know

09:38I'm

09:39and I

09:39fucking

09:40and I'm

09:41like

09:41salted

09:41I'm

09:42a guy

09:42it looks

09:43like

09:43life

09:43is

09:43taking

09:44a

09:44bite

09:44out

09:44of

09:44me

09:45and

09:45I'm

09:46fucking

09:46waving

09:47to

09:47these

09:48pricks

09:48these

09:49rich

09:50pricks

09:50I

09:50don't

09:51wave

09:51at

09:51barges

09:52or

09:54ramshackle

09:56vessels

09:57that are

09:59used to

09:59escape

10:00the

10:00law

10:00I

10:00wave

10:00at

10:01pleasure

10:01crafts

10:02I

10:04put

10:04the

10:04pressure

10:05on

10:05the

10:05one

10:05percent

10:06because

10:06they

10:07don't

10:07want

10:07to

10:07wave

10:07back

10:08they

10:12don't

10:13want

10:13to

10:13wave

10:13back

10:14but

10:15I

10:15represent

10:15the

10:16working

10:16class

10:17my

10:17father

10:17said

10:18to

10:18me

10:18at

10:18a

10:18young

10:19age

10:19he

10:19said

10:19you

10:20wave

10:22at

10:22boats

10:22when

10:26you're

10:26on

10:26the

10:27coastline

10:28imagine

10:30if you

10:30had a

10:31father

10:31like

10:31that

10:31who

10:32who

10:33just

10:33taught

10:34you

10:34useless

10:35shit

10:35when

10:37you

10:37have

10:38salt

10:38throw

10:39some

10:40over

10:40your

10:40shoulder

10:41doesn't

10:43teach

10:43you

10:43any

10:43life

10:44skills

10:44when

10:47you're

10:48putting

10:48away

10:48a

10:49Ouija

10:49board

10:49always

10:50put

10:50it

10:50on

10:50the

10:50top

10:51shelf

10:51thanks

10:54dad

10:55I

10:57think

10:57I'm

10:57sending

10:58you

10:58mixed

10:58signals

10:59a

10:59little

10:59bit

10:59you

11:00know

11:00I'm

11:00soft

11:01I'm

11:01hard

11:01I'm

11:01like

11:02mmm

11:02you

11:05know

11:05I'm

11:06blue

11:06collar

11:07I'm

11:07extremely

11:09intelligent

11:10you don't

11:11know what

11:12to make

11:12of it

11:12and I'll

11:13tell you

11:13why I

11:13do

11:13that

11:14I

11:15send

11:15you

11:16mixed

11:16signals

11:16because

11:17that's

11:17what I

11:17fucking

11:18got

11:18growing

11:19up

11:19so

11:20that's

11:20what

11:21you

11:21get

11:21okay

11:23because

11:24my dad

11:24he used

11:25to send

11:25me

11:25mixed

11:26signals

11:26he'd be

11:26like

11:27come here

11:28Eddie

11:28just

11:29tell me

11:29did you

11:32or did

11:32you not

11:33go to

11:33school

11:33I am

11:34not

11:34going

11:34to

11:34hit

11:35you

11:35and

11:38I'd

11:38be

11:38like

11:39walking

11:40around

11:41like

11:41I'm

11:41in

11:41a

11:41bank

11:42heist

11:42going

11:43do

11:44I

11:44tell

11:44him

11:44the

11:44truth

11:45and

11:45build

11:45a

11:45lasting

11:46relationship

11:47do

11:49I

11:49come

11:49from

11:50a

11:50place

11:50of

11:50honesty

11:51and

11:51build

11:51my

11:52own

11:52character

11:52or

11:54do

11:55I

11:55lie

11:55and

11:57become

11:57a

11:57pathological

11:58person

11:59who's

12:00always

12:00lying

12:01always

12:03lying

12:04to get

12:04what they

12:05want

12:05so they

12:06don't

12:06get hurt

12:06so they

12:07get what

12:07they

12:07want

12:08and I

12:09said

12:09daddy

12:09I

12:10didn't

12:11go to

12:11school

12:12and he

12:12hit me

12:13and that's

12:14why I

12:15like rough

12:16sex

12:16I

12:26mix

12:28pleasure

12:28with

12:29pain

12:29I

12:32love

12:33when

12:33my

12:33wife

12:34she

12:35ties

12:36me up

12:37and she

12:37starts

12:38telling me

12:39I'm a

12:39piece

12:40of shit

12:40I

12:41love

12:42that she

12:42ties me

12:43up

12:43and she's

12:43saying

12:44things

12:44like

12:45your

12:45bank

12:46account

12:47is

12:47that

12:48of

12:48a

12:48child

12:48I'm

12:55like

12:56yes

12:58yes

13:00I'm

13:01tied up

13:02if you

13:02imagine

13:03tied up

13:04she's

13:05on top

13:06saying

13:06things

13:07like

13:07every

13:08book

13:08you

13:08start

13:09you

13:09never

13:09finish

13:10yes

13:11you

13:11have

13:12no

13:12concentration

13:13you

13:18can't

13:18fix

13:19things

13:19you

13:20don't

13:20know

13:20how

13:20to

13:20fix

13:21anything

13:21I

13:25wish

13:25I

13:25were

13:26you

13:26know

13:26no

13:28because

13:29you

13:29got

13:29you

13:29know

13:30I'm

13:30told

13:30I'm

13:30real

13:31funny

13:31you

13:31know

13:32so

13:33for

13:33you

13:33this

13:33must

13:34be

13:34so

13:34fucking

13:35cathartic

13:36for

13:38me

13:38this

13:39is

13:39this

13:39is

13:40fucking

13:40pain

13:41this

13:43is

13:43just

13:44so

13:46fucking

13:46arduous

13:47by the

13:49way

13:49I

13:49want

13:50to

13:50get

13:50this

13:50out

13:50of

13:50the

13:50way

13:51quickly

13:51I

13:55am

13:55for

13:56the

13:56me

13:57too

13:57movement

13:58because

13:58I

13:59am

13:59constantly

14:00harassed

14:01for

14:01sex

14:02okay

14:04especially

14:04after

14:05shows

14:06okay

14:07because

14:07I

14:07have

14:08a

14:08lot

14:08of

14:08charisma

14:09people

14:10people

14:11fucking

14:12corner

14:12me

14:12men

14:13women

14:13whoever

14:14it is

14:14they

14:15just

14:15corner

14:15me

14:15and

14:15they're

14:16like

14:16Eddie

14:16fuck me

14:17Eddie

14:17fuck me

14:18no means

14:27no folks

14:28all right

14:31oh Eddie

14:32fuck me

14:33fuck me

14:34it's not

14:34gonna happen

14:35I

14:40have

14:40acid

14:40reflux

14:41isn't

14:48doesn't

14:49that

14:49kill

14:49sac

14:49acid

14:50reflux

14:50that

14:51is

14:53nasty

14:54shit

14:55my

15:00dad

15:01being

15:01old

15:01school

15:02you

15:02know

15:02what

15:02he's

15:02recently

15:03told

15:03me

15:03he

15:04goes

15:04look

15:05I'm

15:06not

15:06gonna

15:06wire

15:06your

15:07money

15:07anymore

15:07I'm

15:07like

15:07oh

15:08really

15:08I'm

15:08supposed

15:08to be

15:09on

15:09my

15:09own

15:09at

15:0960

15:10what

15:14a

15:15fucking

15:15heartless

15:16prick

15:16you

15:16are

15:17oh

15:19I

15:20should

15:20be

15:20earning

15:21my

15:21own

15:21money

15:22really

15:23I'm

15:26not

15:26gonna

15:26be

15:26like

15:26you

15:27people

15:27working

15:29in

15:29fucking

15:30soulless

15:31corporations

15:32in

15:34cubicles

15:34with

15:34thousands

15:35of

15:35pictures

15:36of

15:36your

15:36last

15:37vacation

15:37and

15:38your

15:39children

15:39taped

15:41up

15:41by the

15:43way

15:43that's

15:43those

15:44are

15:44the

15:44people

15:44you

15:44gotta

15:45watch

15:45at

15:46work

15:47when

15:47you

15:47see

15:47them

15:47have

15:48like

15:48just

15:49tons

15:49of

15:49pictures

15:50they're

15:51just

15:51always

15:51looking

15:51up

15:52going

15:52why

15:52I

15:55remember

15:55Hawaii

15:56someone

16:03throw

16:04lie

16:04on

16:05me

16:05someone

16:07throw

16:07lie

16:08on

16:09me

16:09but

16:18I'm

16:18pretty

16:20well

16:20adjusted

16:21now

16:21you

16:23know

16:23I'm

16:24on

16:24200

16:25milligrams

16:26of

16:27Zoloft

16:28and

16:29it

16:29does

16:30nothing

16:31it

16:32does

16:32nothing

16:33I

16:34just

16:34like

16:34the

16:35taste

16:35I

16:40love

16:41they

16:41taste

16:42I

16:43crush

16:43them

16:44up

16:44I

16:44put

16:44them

16:44on

16:45cereal

16:45I

16:49eat

16:49them

16:50watching

16:51the end

16:52of

16:52days

16:53and

16:55we're

16:55in

16:56them

16:56right

16:58I mean

16:59climate

17:00breakdown

17:00is

17:01fucking

17:02unbelievable

17:02just

17:04every

17:04day

17:04there's

17:05new

17:05things

17:05honey

17:06I

17:06have

17:06the

17:06TV

17:07honey

17:07butterflies

17:09they're

17:11gone

17:12we

17:15have

17:15a

17:16little

17:16checklist

17:16of

17:18species

17:19on our

17:19kitchen

17:20butterflies

17:21gone

17:22I

17:24told you

17:24we should

17:25have

17:25went to

17:25the

17:25butterfly

17:25exhibit

17:26told you

17:28it's

17:29gone

17:29now

17:30I

17:32do

17:33like

17:33watching

17:34the

17:34weather

17:35channel

17:35though

17:35here

17:36in

17:36LA

17:36like

17:36the

17:37winter

17:37the

17:38winters

17:39are

17:39getting

17:39worse

17:39because

17:40of

17:40climate

17:41breakdown

17:42you know

17:42like

17:43there

17:43was

17:43just

17:43a

17:43polar

17:44vortex

17:44in

17:45the

17:45Midwest

17:46and

17:46I

17:46like

17:47watching

17:47that

17:47here

17:48in

17:48LA

17:49on

17:49my

17:50couch

17:50with

17:50my

17:51two

17:51little

17:51rescue

17:52dogs

17:52watching

17:53these

17:53fucks

17:54in

17:54the

17:54Midwest

17:54trying

17:56to

17:56scrape

17:57their

17:58windows

17:58I

17:59have

17:59like

17:59a

17:59little

17:59espresso

18:00my

18:03two

18:03little

18:04dogs

18:04next

18:04to

18:05me

18:05Basil

18:05and

18:06Charlotte

18:07you

18:07know

18:08these

18:09fucks

18:10in the

18:10Midwest

18:11are

18:11all

18:12on

18:12tons

18:13of

18:13antidepressants

18:15and

18:16they're

18:16about

18:16to go

18:17to

18:17the

18:17ammonia

18:18factory

18:18that's

18:20what I

18:21envision

18:21that's

18:21what

18:22people

18:22are

18:22down

18:22to

18:23now

18:23just

18:24stirring

18:24big

18:25vats

18:25of

18:27ammonia

18:27outside

18:28of

18:29some

18:30shithole

18:31in

18:31Illinois

18:32or

18:33Indiana

18:34Herb

18:38Herb

18:38are you

18:39going

18:39to

18:39work

18:39yes

18:40I'm

18:40going

18:40to

18:40work

18:41I

18:41gotta

18:41scrape

18:41the

18:42car

18:42don't

18:45forget

18:45to

18:46wear

18:46your

18:46mask

18:47alright

18:48what

18:51time

18:51is

18:51dinner

18:52tonight

18:52we

18:52have

18:53no

18:53food

18:54Herb

18:54alright

18:56I'll

18:59try to

18:59pick

18:59something

19:00up

19:00on

19:00the

19:00side

19:01of

19:01the

19:01road

19:01and

19:04you're

19:04here

19:04in

19:04LA

19:05with

19:05espresso

19:06watching

19:08it

19:08with

19:08your

19:09two

19:09little

19:09rescue

19:10dogs

19:10next

19:12to

19:13you

19:13they're

19:13just

19:13looking

19:14up

19:14at

19:14you

19:15because

19:16they

19:16fucking

19:17love

19:17you

19:18my

19:19rescue

19:20dogs

19:20love

19:21me

19:21they're

19:23fucking

19:24they're

19:25like

19:25that's

19:26what

19:26I

19:27love

19:27that

19:27about

19:27dogs

19:28they're

19:28like

19:28you

19:28can

19:28do

19:29no

19:29wrong

19:29you

19:31can

19:31do

19:32no

19:32wrong

19:32you

19:34can

19:35do

19:35no

19:35wrong

19:36Eddie

19:36that's

19:37what

19:37my

19:38dogs

19:38are

19:38saying

19:39to

19:39me

19:39we

19:42don't

19:42care

19:43that

19:43you

19:43owe

19:44everybody

19:45money

19:45doesn't

19:49mean

19:49a

19:50fucking

19:50thing

19:50to

19:51us

19:51doesn't

19:52mean

19:53anything

19:53to

19:54us

19:54you

19:55are

19:56great

19:57my

19:57friend

19:58I'm

20:06lost

20:06in

20:06the

20:06set

20:07right

20:07now

20:07I don't

20:10know

20:10where

20:10I

20:10am

20:11I

20:14actually

20:15actually

20:16I am

20:16at the

20:16age

20:17where

20:17I

20:17am

20:17starting

20:18you

20:18know

20:18I

20:19have

20:19a

20:19little

20:19bit

20:19of

20:19that

20:19memory

20:20loss

20:20and

20:20I

20:20gotta

20:21tell

20:21you

20:21if

20:21I

20:21get

20:22Alzheimer's

20:23I'm

20:24still

20:24gonna

20:24be

20:24confident

20:25like

20:25I'm

20:25gonna

20:25play

20:26it

20:26I'm

20:26gonna

20:27play

20:27it

20:27fucking

20:28off

20:28like

20:28I've

20:29already

20:29got

20:29it

20:29all

20:29planned

20:30out

20:30not

20:31gonna

20:31be

20:32crying

20:32and all

20:33that

20:33shit

20:33I'm

20:33gonna

20:33like

20:34walk

20:34into

20:34places

20:35and

20:35go

20:40where

20:40the

20:41fuck

20:41am

20:41I

20:42it's

20:50attitude

20:50it's

20:50all

20:51in

20:51the

20:51attitude

20:51look at

20:58this

20:58fucking

20:59guy

20:59where

20:59am

20:59I

21:00you

21:00fucking

21:00idiot

21:01look at

21:03this

21:03fucking

21:03guy

21:04that

21:07hard

21:08fucking

21:08question

21:09who

21:11the

21:11fuck

21:11am

21:11I

21:12you're

21:12in

21:12Ralph's

21:13sir

21:13asshole

21:15I

21:16know

21:16I'm

21:16in

21:17Ralph's

21:17it's

21:17written

21:17all

21:18around

21:18me

21:19I'm

21:20asking

21:20you

21:20what

21:21state

21:21am

21:21I

21:22in

21:22I

21:27would

21:27say

21:28agitated

21:28sir

21:29no

21:30idiot

21:31geographically

21:32you're

21:34in

21:34California

21:35was

21:35that

21:35so

21:36fucking

21:36hard

21:37this

21:39fucking

21:40idiot

21:40huh

21:41hey

21:42I

21:44got

21:44one

21:45more

21:45question

21:45for

21:46you

21:46is

21:47this

21:48frozen

21:49ravioli

21:50or the

21:50end

21:50of the

21:51Vietnam

21:51war

21:52I

21:57don't

21:57know

21:57where

21:58we

21:58are

21:58I

21:59just

21:59have

22:00the

22:00fucking

22:00GPS

22:01bullshit

22:03you

22:05know

22:06my

22:06wife

22:06gave

22:07me

22:07the

22:08Waze

22:08app

22:08for

22:08my

22:0950th

22:09birthday

22:10but I

22:12feel

22:12like

22:12the

22:12Waze

22:12app

22:13wants

22:13me

22:13dead

22:14anybody

22:15else

22:16like

22:16it's

22:16always

22:16telling

22:17me

22:17like

22:18make

22:18a

22:18left

22:19make

22:20a

22:20left

22:21into

22:21oncoming

22:22oncoming

22:25maybe

22:25the

22:26Waze

22:26app

22:26wants

22:27me

22:27to

22:27face

22:27down

22:28my

22:28fears

22:29maybe

22:30that's

22:30what

22:30these

22:31apps

22:31are

22:31about

22:32hi

22:34people

22:35over

22:35here

22:35maybe

22:37that's

22:37what

22:37the

22:37fuck

22:37they're

22:38about

22:38because

22:38it's

22:38like

22:38make

22:39a

22:39left

22:39into

22:40this

22:40oncoming

22:41traffic

22:42you know

22:43and people

22:44in their

22:44cars

22:44they just

22:45become

22:45you know

22:46big

22:47pieces

22:48of

22:48shit

22:49right

22:50it's

22:50just

22:50like

22:51fuck

22:51you

22:52like

22:52they've

22:52done

22:52their

22:53affirmations

22:54they've

22:54listened

22:54to their

22:55Eckhart Tolle

22:56they've

22:57meditated

22:57and then

22:58they get

22:59in a

22:59car

22:59and they're

23:00like

23:00you're

23:01not

23:02getting

23:02in

23:03you're

23:04not

23:04getting

23:06in

23:06why

23:08aren't

23:09you

23:09getting

23:09in

23:10because

23:11things

23:12aren't

23:13going

23:13right

23:14for

23:14me

23:15that's

23:18why

23:18you're

23:18not

23:19fucking

23:19getting

23:20in

23:20you

23:25ever

23:25have

23:25the

23:25ways

23:26app

23:26send

23:26you

23:26up

23:27into

23:27the

23:27hills

23:28to

23:28save

23:28a

23:28minute

23:29but

23:31you

23:31don't

23:31notice

23:31that

23:32they

23:32were

23:32just

23:32saving

23:33you

23:33a

23:33minute

23:33like

23:33there

23:34was

23:34you

23:34know

23:34your

23:34usual

23:35route

23:35you

23:36know

23:36but

23:36no

23:36go

23:36all

23:37the

23:37way

23:37up

23:37into

23:38the

23:38fucking

23:38hills

23:39and

23:40so

23:40you're

23:40up

23:40there

23:41with

23:41you

23:41know

23:41all

23:41the

23:42scumbags

23:43who

23:45have

23:45like

23:45guns

23:46from

23:46their

23:47roof

23:47they're

23:49all

23:50drinking

23:50you

23:51know

23:51like

23:51a

23:51melodious

23:52fucking

23:53cabernet

23:54up

23:54there

23:55they're

23:57drinking

23:57you

23:58know

23:58you

24:00know

24:01it has

24:01undercurrents

24:02of

24:02cherry

24:03they're

24:05just

24:05drinking

24:06you're

24:06going

24:06is that

24:06a

24:06poor

24:07did

24:07a

24:07poor

24:07person

24:07get

24:08lost

24:08Bob

24:08come

24:10my

24:10god

24:10why

24:10don't

24:10you

24:10kill

24:10him

24:11kill

24:11him

24:11kill

24:17him

24:17say

24:17they

24:17were

24:17trespassing

24:18and

24:20then

24:20you

24:20fucking

24:20get

24:21up

24:21in

24:21the

24:21hills

24:22and

24:22the

24:22signal

24:23cuts

24:24out

24:24and

24:25I'm

24:26so

24:26dependent

24:27on

24:27that

24:27fucking

24:28thing

24:29you're

24:29just

24:29it

24:29just

24:30cuts

24:30out

24:30and

24:31then

24:31because

24:31you're

24:31up

24:32in

24:32the

24:32hill

24:32the

24:32fog

24:33starts

24:33rolling

24:34in

24:34cause

24:35you're

24:36up

24:36and

24:36you're

24:36like

24:36holy

24:37fuck

24:37way

24:38zap

24:39help

24:41me

24:42help

24:44me

24:44and

24:48then

24:48because

24:49we're

24:49here

24:49in

24:49LA

24:50there

24:50fucking

24:50coyotes

24:51start

24:51coming

24:51around

24:52my

24:52car

24:52fog

24:53coyotes

24:54because

24:54of a

24:55minute

24:55because

24:56the

24:56ways

24:56zap

24:57is

24:58saving

24:59me

24:59a

24:59minute

24:59and

25:02then

25:02the

25:02ways

25:03app

25:03tells

25:03me

25:03the

25:04craziest

25:04fucking

25:05things

25:05like

25:05the

25:06other

25:06day

25:06I

25:07was

25:07on

25:07the

25:07405

25:08south

25:08not

25:09to

25:09brag

25:10I

25:12was

25:12on

25:12the

25:12405

25:13south

25:13the

25:13ways

25:14app

25:14told

25:14me

25:14get

25:15out

25:15of

25:15the

25:15car

25:15and

25:16shoot

25:16your

25:17way

25:17down

25:17to

25:17the

25:17getty

25:18center

25:18shoot

25:20your

25:20way

25:20down

25:20to

25:21the

25:21getty

25:21center

25:21and

25:24those

25:25are

25:25you

25:25watching

25:26this

25:26the

25:28405

25:29is a

25:30major

25:30artery

25:31in

25:32California

25:33don't

25:33give me

25:33any

25:34shit

25:34you

25:34don't

25:34understand

25:35the

25:35references

25:35you

25:37people

25:38don't

25:38read

25:39you

25:40know

25:41nothing

25:41America

25:46is a

25:46shithole

25:47boy

25:50is it

25:50ever

25:51huh

25:51wow

25:53wow

25:56that's

25:56all I

25:56could

25:57say

25:57not

25:58that

25:58we

25:59weren't

25:59getting

26:00fucked

26:01before

26:02you

26:03know

26:03all

26:03our

26:03previous

26:04presidents

26:05you

26:05know

26:05Democrats

26:06Republicans

26:06just

26:06a

26:07nice

26:07big

26:08fucking

26:09you

26:10know

26:10from

26:11everybody

26:11but

26:12not

26:13like

26:13this

26:16is not

26:16being

26:16done

26:17with

26:17finesse

26:18you

26:19know

26:19when I

26:20get

26:20fucked

26:21when I

26:22get

26:23fucked

26:23I

26:25I

26:25like

26:25to

26:25be

26:25told

26:26I'm

26:26doing

26:26well

26:27I

26:27look

26:27good

26:28here's

26:29a

26:29couple

26:30of

26:30appetizers

26:31and

26:33then

26:33I'll

26:33put

26:34out

26:34but

26:36what

26:36the

26:36fuck

26:37is

26:37this

26:37I

26:38would

26:38respect

26:39Trump

26:40more

26:41I

26:41would

26:41respect

26:42Trump

26:42more

26:42if

26:43he

26:43came

26:44out

26:44as

26:46the

26:46Joker

26:47like

26:47I mean

26:48it

26:49I mean

26:49this

26:50because

26:53then I

26:53would

26:53understand

26:54him

26:54like

26:54if

26:54he

26:55had

26:55on

26:55like

26:56white

26:56powdered

26:57makeup

26:57and

26:58slit

26:59his

27:00lips

27:00and

27:03slit

27:03his

27:04lips

27:04you

27:05know

27:05and

27:05the

27:06little

27:06orange

27:07tuft

27:07and

27:07he

27:08was

27:08like

27:08isn't

27:15Betsy

27:16DeVos

27:16wonderful

27:18because

27:23that's

27:24what

27:24we're

27:24living

27:25through

27:25do

27:27you

27:27understand

27:27that

27:28so

27:35I

27:35get

27:35into

27:35sports

27:36I

27:37get

27:37into

27:37sports

27:38I'm

27:38one

27:38of

27:38those

27:39idiots

27:39right

27:40any

27:40other

27:41idiots

27:41into

27:42sports

27:42like

27:43but

27:43I

27:43take

27:44it

27:44to

27:44like

27:44it

27:45like

27:45I'm

27:46so

27:46into

27:46my

27:47teams

27:47that

27:47when

27:48they

27:48lose

27:48I

27:48take

27:49it

27:49so

27:49personally

27:50and

27:50I

27:50turn

27:50on

27:51them

27:51you

27:52know

27:52what

27:52I

27:52mean

27:52I

27:53fucking

27:53turn

27:54on

27:54them

27:54you

27:54know

27:55it's

27:55like

27:55they

27:55fuck

27:56like

27:56if

27:56you

27:57know

27:57I'm a

27:57New York

27:57giant

27:58fan

27:58and

27:58if

27:59I

27:59see

27:59the

28:00quarterback

28:00being

28:00sacked

28:01which

28:02happens

28:02regularly

28:03you

28:05know

28:06I

28:06fucking

28:07go

28:07how

28:07can

28:07you

28:07get

28:08sacked

28:08when

28:10I

28:10never

28:11had

28:11a

28:11real

28:11home

28:12or

28:18baseball

28:19you

28:19know

28:19I'm

28:19a big

28:19Yankee

28:19fan

28:20and

28:20like

28:20you

28:21fucking

28:22hit into

28:22a

28:22double

28:23play

28:23the

28:23day

28:24I'm

28:25fucking

28:25diagnosed

28:26as

28:26pre-diabetic

28:27fuck

28:29you

28:29fuck

28:31you

28:31just

28:40one

28:40of

28:41those

28:41idiots

28:41who

28:41believes

28:42in

28:43sports

28:43I

28:44hate

28:44atheists

28:44too

28:45I

28:45tell

28:45you

28:45I

28:45hate

28:45atheists

28:46hate

28:47atheists

28:47because

28:47they

28:47wear

28:48that

28:48shit

28:48like

28:50a

28:50badge

28:50you

28:51know

28:51like

28:51there

28:51oh

28:52there

28:52is

28:52no

28:52God

28:53there

28:53is

28:53no

28:53God

28:54tell

28:54me

28:54something

28:55I

28:55don't

28:55know

28:55dipshit

28:56I

28:59mean

29:00but

29:01what

29:01are

29:01they

29:01selling

29:02me

29:02what

29:02would

29:02an

29:02atheist

29:03church

29:03be

29:04like

29:04you

29:05know

29:05singers

29:05in

29:06purple

29:06robes

29:07going

29:07we're

29:08all

29:09alone

29:09we're

29:11all

29:11alone

29:12everything

29:13is

29:14random

29:15what

29:17would

29:18an

29:18atheist

29:18healer

29:19be

29:19like

29:20tell

29:20me

29:21your

29:21problem

29:21I

29:22can't

29:23hear

29:23and

29:23I'm

29:24starting

29:24to

29:24not

29:24be

29:25able

29:25to

29:25walk

29:26it's

29:26going

29:27to

29:27get

29:27worse

29:27and

29:31you

29:31are

29:31going

29:31to

29:31die

29:32alone

29:32I

29:34was

29:34listening

29:35to

29:35Stalin

29:37on

29:39Spotify

29:40on

29:41the

29:41way

29:41on

29:42the

29:42way

29:42over

29:43here

29:43anybody

29:44else

29:45anybody

29:47else

29:48getting

29:48ready

29:48for the

29:49encroaching

29:50fascism

29:51anybody

29:53like

29:53it's

29:54coming

29:54it's

29:55here

29:55so

29:57I

29:57just

29:57want

29:58to

29:58you

29:58know

29:58I

29:58want

29:59to

29:59get

29:59the

29:59cadence

29:59you

30:00know

30:00you

30:03know

30:03and

30:03I'm

30:03talking

30:03about

30:04I

30:04listened

30:04to

30:04early

30:05Stalin

30:06not

30:08the

30:08later

30:08shit

30:09when

30:09he

30:09sold

30:10out

30:10early

30:12Stalin

30:13when

30:15he

30:15was

30:15paranoid

30:17and

30:19he

30:19had

30:19the

30:19military

30:20behind

30:21him

30:22not

30:22when

30:23he

30:23started

30:23talking

30:24about

30:24wheat

30:25fuck

30:27that

30:28how

30:28boring

30:29was

30:29that

30:29anybody

30:33else

30:33have a

30:33dictator

30:34playlist

30:34I

30:35get

30:37one

30:37you know

30:38I

30:39love

30:40like

30:41I love

30:41going to

30:42like

30:42open

30:43air

30:43malls

30:44and

30:44I

30:45crank

30:46Mussolini

30:46in the

30:47original

30:47Italian

30:48these

30:51sets

30:51are

30:52a

30:52cry

30:52for

30:52help

30:53that's

31:01what

31:01comedy

31:02should

31:03become

31:04you know

31:04as

31:05our

31:05society

31:06crumbles

31:07even

31:08further

31:08comedy

31:09clubs

31:09should

31:10just be

31:11people

31:11getting

31:12on stage

31:12going

31:13it

31:16hurts

31:17because

31:20what

31:20the

31:20fuck

31:20are

31:20comics

31:21doing

31:21talking

31:24about

31:25dating

31:26there's

31:33no

31:33dating

31:33anymore

31:36it's

31:38fucking

31:38I

31:41actually

31:41listen

31:42to

31:42porn

31:42in

31:42my

31:42car

31:43you

31:46fill

31:46in

31:46the

31:47blanks

31:47I

31:49have

31:49a

31:49beautiful

31:492006

31:50Honda

31:51element

31:51and

31:53you

31:53could

31:53have

31:54what

31:54I

31:54have

31:55if

31:55you

31:55put

31:55your

31:55noses

31:56to

31:56the

31:56grind

31:57stone

31:57everybody

32:05is

32:05so

32:05decadent

32:06and

32:06that's

32:06another

32:06sign

32:07of

32:07a

32:07civilization

32:08in

32:08collapse

32:09is

32:09that

32:09the

32:09decadence

32:10like

32:10everything

32:11the

32:12pornography

32:12like

32:14everybody

32:14is

32:15fucking

32:15watching

32:16porn

32:16it's

32:17like

32:17people

32:17are

32:17like

32:17hey

32:18dad

32:18did

32:18you

32:18see

32:18the

32:19new

32:19red

32:19tube

32:20video

32:20out

32:21they

32:22had

32:22someone

32:22pinned

32:23against

32:23the

32:23wall

32:23just

32:24fucking

32:24them

32:24fucking

32:25them

32:25anyway

32:26I'll

32:27see

32:27you

32:27later

32:27people

32:37people

32:37pretty

32:38soon

32:38are

32:38going

32:38to

32:38have

32:38porn

32:39barbecues

32:40you

32:40know

32:40just

32:42barbecues

32:43porn

32:44playing

32:44behind

32:46them

32:46going

32:46look at

32:47that

32:47Dan

32:48how

32:49the

32:49hell

32:50do

32:50they

32:50get

32:51in

32:51that

32:51position

32:52and

32:53it's

32:53so

32:53violent

32:54the

32:54porn

32:54is

32:55so

32:55violent

32:55a

32:56lot

32:56of

32:56times

32:56while

32:57I'm

32:57watching

32:57it

32:57I'll

32:59I'll

33:00I'll

33:01be like

33:01should

33:01I

33:02call

33:02the

33:02cops

33:03it's

33:11just

33:11so

33:11fucking

33:12mad

33:12just

33:12driving

33:13I

33:13just

33:13drive

33:13around

33:14in my

33:14Honda

33:14element

33:15with

33:16porn

33:16and

33:16all

33:17you

33:17hear

33:17in

33:17the

33:17car

33:18I

33:18go

33:18between

33:18Mussolini

33:19and

33:19porn

33:20which

33:21is

33:21what

33:21basically

33:22that's

33:24the

33:24country

33:24just

33:27like

33:28driving

33:29around

33:29and

33:30rolling

33:31down

33:31the

33:31window

33:32and

33:32you

33:32hear

33:32fuck

33:33me

33:33fuck

33:34me

33:35fuck

33:36me

33:37and

33:38I'm

33:38waving

33:39to people

33:39hey

33:40how are

33:40you

33:43how are

33:44you

33:44I used

33:46to watch

33:47a lot

33:47of it

33:47I don't

33:47anymore

33:48I used

33:48to watch

33:49it

33:49and

33:50I

33:51it

33:51was

33:51like

33:52I

33:52felt

33:52like

33:52I

33:52had

33:53a

33:53personal

33:53relationship

33:54with

33:54a

33:55couple

33:55of

33:55them

33:56like

33:56there

33:56was

33:56this

33:57one

33:57actress

33:57that

33:57I

33:58noticed

33:58through

33:59the

33:59years

34:00a

34:00actress

34:01there

34:02was

34:03I

34:05noticed

34:06through

34:06the

34:06years

34:07she

34:07had

34:07a

34:07mole

34:08and

34:08it

34:08kept

34:08getting

34:09bigger

34:10and

34:11I

34:11felt

34:11like

34:11I

34:12should

34:12alert

34:12somebody

34:13you

34:17have

34:18to

34:18take

34:18responsibility

34:19for

34:20your

34:21porn

34:21stars

34:22this

34:26is

34:26for

34:26middle

34:26America

34:27again

34:28I'd

34:29be

34:29up

34:29here

34:29talking

34:30about

34:30Dostoyevsky

34:31if it

34:31wasn't

34:31for

34:32you

34:34fucking

34:34idiots

34:35I

34:42talk

34:43about

34:43porn

34:43so

34:46I

34:46can

34:47make

34:47a

34:47little

34:47money

34:48hopefully

34:50I

34:53am

34:53a

34:53bit

34:54of

34:54a

34:54poet

34:54I

34:54actually

34:55won

34:55my

34:55wife

34:55over

34:56by

34:56I'm

34:56old

34:57school

34:57I

34:57won

34:57her

34:58over

34:58by

34:58reading

34:59poetry

35:00underneath

35:00her

35:01window

35:01now

35:02the

35:02only

35:02poet

35:03I

35:03know

35:03is

35:03Bukowski

35:04so

35:05I

35:08would

35:08be

35:08I

35:09would

35:10be

35:10under

35:10her

35:10window

35:11going

35:11I

35:12want

35:12a

35:12ham

35:12sandwich

35:13bitch

35:14ham

35:16on

35:16rye

35:17I'm

35:19going

35:20to the

35:20track

35:21and

35:21I'm

35:22fucking

35:22angry

35:23I

35:25want

35:25beer

35:25and

35:26ham

35:26fucking

35:28post

35:28office

35:29is

35:29a

35:29nightmare

35:30I

35:39read

35:40that

35:40under

35:40her

35:40window

35:41and

35:41she

35:41was

35:41mine

35:42it's

35:48rooted

35:48me

35:48it's

35:49rooted

35:49me

35:50I

35:50feel

35:51rooted

35:51now

35:52even

35:54though

35:54I

35:54have

35:55lost

35:56my

35:56wife

35:56to

35:56adult

35:57coloring

35:57books

35:58like

36:01I

36:02thought

36:03she was

36:03coloring

36:03in

36:04porn

36:04scenes

36:05like

36:06is

36:06that

36:06what

36:06made

36:07it

36:07adult

36:07if

36:07she

36:08was

36:08I

36:08would

36:08be

36:09over

36:09her

36:09going

36:10make

36:10the

36:10cock

36:11black

36:11make

36:14it

36:14black

36:14the

36:18fuck

36:19are

36:19adult

36:19coloring

36:20books

36:20you

36:25know

36:25what

36:25it

36:25is

36:25their

36:26anxiety

36:26product

36:27there's

36:27this

36:27whole

36:28fucking

36:28line

36:29of

36:29products

36:30now

36:31because

36:32we

36:32don't

36:32have

36:32health

36:32care

36:33no

36:36one

36:36has

36:36health

36:37care

36:37or

36:37communities

36:38or

36:39fucking

36:40libraries

36:41or

36:41you

36:42know

36:42since

36:42we

36:43don't

36:43have

36:43anything

36:44that

36:44a

36:44real

36:44society

36:45has

36:45it's

36:45like

36:45squeeze

36:46a

36:46ball

36:46squeeze

36:47the

36:47new

36:49ball

36:49squeeze

36:52the

36:52ball

36:52and

36:54everything

36:54will

36:55be

36:55alright

36:56color

36:58in

36:59a

36:59goth

36:59chick

37:00with

37:00a

37:00crow

37:00every

37:01time

37:01I

37:01come

37:01on

37:02I

37:02was

37:02coloring

37:02in

37:02a

37:02goth

37:03chick

37:03with

37:04a

37:04crow

37:05on

37:05her

37:06arm

37:06and

37:10she's

37:10so

37:11sweet

37:11she's

37:11always

37:11asking

37:12me

37:12how

37:12did

37:12the

37:12show

37:13how

37:13did

37:13the

37:13show

37:14go

37:14and

37:14have

37:14to

37:14lie

37:15I

37:17have

37:17to

37:17say

37:18baby

37:18we

37:19have

37:19no

37:20worries

37:20when

37:22all

37:22we

37:22have

37:23are

37:23worries

37:23I'm

37:30trying

37:30to make

37:30this

37:31sing

37:32for

37:32you

37:32roots

37:43me

37:45and my

37:45wife

37:46we

37:46got

37:48married

37:48by

37:48driving

37:49to

37:49Vegas

37:50and

37:51that's

37:51what

37:51we

37:52did

37:52and

37:52it

37:52was

37:52great

37:53because

37:53it

37:53was

37:54like

37:54no

37:54bullshit

37:55I

37:55know

37:55people

37:55tear

37:56each

37:56other

37:56apart

37:57you

37:57know

37:58when

37:58they

37:58fucking

37:59get

37:59married

37:59a

38:00lot

38:00of

38:00people

38:00get

38:00divorced

38:01you

38:01know

38:01over

38:02the

38:02table

38:03set

38:03up

38:04that's

38:06for

38:06the

38:06masses

38:07how

38:09do

38:09you

38:09like

38:09that

38:10you

38:12alt

38:12right

38:13fucks

38:14I

38:19kid

38:19the

38:20alt

38:20right

38:20because

38:21eventually

38:22they're

38:22going

38:22to

38:22strap

38:23us

38:23to

38:23their

38:23trucks

38:24and

38:27make

38:27us

38:27sing

38:27the

38:28star

38:28spangled

38:28banner

38:29while

38:29we're

38:30covered

38:30in

38:30blood

38:31unless

38:32we

38:32have

38:33a

38:33revolution

38:33we

38:36have

38:36to

38:36get

38:36in

38:36the

38:36streets

38:37and

38:37fucking

38:38fight

38:38no

38:39fucking

38:40pink

38:40pussycat

38:41hats

38:42just

38:43fight

38:43be

38:44angry

38:44be

38:45angry

38:46look

38:46what the

38:46yellow

38:47vests

38:47are doing

38:47in

38:48France

38:48now

38:48I'm

38:48not

38:49going

38:49to

38:49be

38:49able

38:49to

38:49join

38:49you

38:50because

38:50I'm

38:50in

38:50the

38:50middle

38:50of

38:50Ozark

38:51I

38:53would

38:53love

38:53to

38:54I

38:55would

38:55love

38:55to

38:56but

38:58I'm

38:58hooked

38:59that's

39:04an

39:04amazing

39:04show

39:05by the

39:05way

39:05I've

39:05never

39:06seen

39:06an

39:06upper

39:06middle

39:07class

39:07family

39:08deal

39:08with

39:08death

39:09and

39:09drug

39:09cartels

39:10like

39:10they

39:10do

39:10all

39:11right

39:11all

39:12right

39:12we're

39:13just

39:13gonna

39:13have

39:13to

39:13deal

39:13with

39:13the

39:13murder

39:14that

39:14happened

39:14in

39:14our

39:14kitchen

39:15all

39:15right

39:15Wendy

39:15come

39:15on

39:16we

39:18all

39:18buy

39:18it

39:18eating

39:19ice

39:19cream

39:19but

39:23that's

39:23what

39:23this

39:23country

39:24is

39:24like

39:24too

39:24it's

39:25like

39:25everything

39:25is

39:26fucking

39:27has

39:28fallen

39:28apart

39:29or

39:29falling

39:29apart

39:30you

39:31know

39:31mass

39:32shootings

39:32every

39:32day

39:33the

39:33environment

39:34going

39:34to

39:34shit

39:35and

39:35the

39:35only

39:35thing

39:35people

39:36talk

39:36about

39:36are

39:37like

39:37you

39:37have

39:38to

39:38see

39:38the

39:39haunting

39:39of

39:39Hill

39:39House

39:40you

39:42just

39:42have

39:42to

39:42see

39:42it

39:43that's

39:44all

39:44I

39:44can

39:44say

39:45but

39:49marriage

39:49roots

39:49me

39:50so

39:52we

39:52drove

39:52to

39:52Vegas

39:53and

39:53I

39:54loved

39:54it

39:54because

39:54it

39:55was

39:55just

39:55so

39:55simple

39:56you

39:57know

39:58and

39:58one

39:58thing

39:59I

39:59don't

39:59like

39:59about

39:59weddings

40:00too

40:00is

40:00that

40:00the

40:01toasts

40:02are

40:02always

40:03are

40:03always

40:04fucking

40:04bullshit

40:05you

40:05know

40:05the

40:06toasts

40:07are

40:07always

40:08like

40:08you

40:08know

40:09here's

40:10to

40:10Julie

40:11and

40:12Frank

40:13Julie

40:15and Frank

40:16are

40:16two

40:17of the

40:18loveliest

40:18people

40:19I know

40:20they're

40:20perfect

40:21first of

40:21we're

40:22we're

40:22all

40:22fucking

40:22broken

40:23we're

40:26broken

40:26some

40:26of us

40:27dress

40:27nicer

40:28than

40:28others

40:28or

40:29have

40:30nicer

40:30cars

40:31but

40:32we

40:32are

40:33fucking

40:33broken

40:34and

40:34I'd love to

40:34give the

40:35real toast

40:35the way

40:36you know

40:37I think

40:37a wedding

40:38toast

40:38should go

40:39and it

40:40would be

40:40like

40:40I want to

40:41raise a

40:41glass

40:42to Frank

40:43and

40:45Julie

40:45and

40:48I just

40:49want to

40:49say

40:49before I

40:50toast

40:50them

40:50I want

40:51to

40:51thank

40:51I want

40:52to

40:52thank

40:53God

40:53for

40:54the

40:55soul

40:55sucking

40:55job

40:56I have

40:57and

40:58the

40:58arthritis

40:59in

41:00my

41:00shoulder

41:01won't

41:04go

41:04away

41:05no

41:07matter

41:07what

41:07I

41:08fucking

41:08do

41:08my

41:10shoulder

41:11won't

41:12get

41:12better

41:12my

41:15doctor

41:16says

41:16just

41:17sleep

41:17on

41:18your

41:18back

41:18and

41:20I

41:20toss

41:21and

41:21turn

41:21because

41:23I

41:24wake

41:24up

41:24to

41:25nightmares

41:25about

41:26not

41:26having

41:27money

41:27anybody

41:30else

41:31wake

41:31up

41:31to

41:31nightmares

41:32where

41:33you're

41:34like

41:34how

41:34am

41:34I

41:34going

41:34to

41:35make

41:35the

41:35rent

41:35this

41:36month

41:36but

41:39that's

41:39neither

41:39hither

41:40nor

41:40thither

41:41who

41:43were

41:43a

41:43great

41:44vaudeville

41:44team

41:44by

41:45the

41:45way

41:45frank

41:49used

41:49to

41:50rob

41:50the

41:50elderly

41:51maybe

41:58he

41:58still

41:58does

41:58do

41:59you

41:59still

41:59do

41:59it

41:59doesn't

42:00matter

42:00we're

42:02all

42:02broken

42:02no

42:04one

42:04more

42:05so

42:05than

42:05julie

42:06julie

42:09can't

42:09earn

42:09any

42:10money

42:10julie

42:16lives

42:17in

42:17a

42:17fantasy

42:17world

42:18julie

42:20has

42:21been

42:21in

42:21a

42:21fucking

42:22improv

42:23group

42:23called

42:26scrambled

42:27eggs

42:28and

42:28it's

42:28spelt

42:28e-g-g-z

42:30and

42:36still

42:37nobody

42:37fucking

42:38comes

42:38and

42:38she's

42:39been

42:39doing

42:39it

42:39for

42:3930

42:40years

42:40give

42:40me

42:40give

42:41me

42:41an

42:41occupation

42:42give

42:44me

42:44a

42:44period

42:44of

42:45history

42:45and

42:47a

42:47location

42:48and

42:48nobody

42:49laughs

42:50she's

42:54on

42:54the

42:54hamster

42:55wheel

42:56of

42:58improv

42:59and

43:01frank

43:01is

43:01a

43:01cocaine

43:02addict

43:02and

43:02I'm

43:04sorry

43:04julie

43:04if

43:04you're

43:05hearing

43:05this

43:05for

43:05the

43:05first

43:05time

43:06but

43:06frank

43:06and

43:07he's

43:08a

43:08great

43:08addict

43:08because

43:09he

43:09hides

43:09it

43:10like

43:12any

43:12great

43:12addict

43:13he

43:14hides

43:14it

43:14he's

43:15brilliant

43:15at

43:16hiding

43:16it

43:16I

43:18mean

43:18frank

43:18could

43:19be

43:19doing

43:19lines

43:20in

43:21front

43:21of

43:21a

43:22computer

43:22watching

43:23horrific

43:24bondage

43:24pornography

43:25and

43:26as

43:26soon

43:26as

43:27he

43:27sees

43:27that

43:27doorknob

43:28turn

43:29by

43:29the

43:29time

43:30you're

43:30in

43:30that

43:31room

43:31he's

43:32eating

43:32an

43:32apple

43:33watching

43:33disney

43:34frank

43:39killed

43:40the

43:40postman

43:40with

43:41the

43:41hammer

43:41a

43:43frozen

43:44hammer

43:45why

43:47why he

43:47had a

43:47frozen

43:48hammer

43:48no

43:49one

43:49knows

43:49to

43:50each

43:51his

43:51own

43:51frank

43:54is

43:54minimal

43:54skills

43:55minimal

43:57skills

43:58which is

43:58a little

43:59better

43:59than

43:59julie

44:00and

44:02they

44:02found

44:02each

44:03other

44:03they

44:05found

44:05each

44:06other

44:06boy

44:08this is

44:08gonna

44:08be

44:08good

44:09frank

44:10didn't

44:11know

44:11that

44:11julie

44:12had

44:13an

44:13infected

44:13foot

44:14julie

44:18was

44:19doing

44:19a

44:19scene

44:20she

44:23was

44:23doing

44:23a

44:23scene

44:24where

44:24she

44:24had

44:24a

44:24stand

44:25on

44:25one

44:25leg

44:26for

44:26over

44:26ten

44:27minutes

44:27and

44:29her

44:29foot

44:30lost

44:30blood

44:31circulation

44:32or

44:33whatever

44:33the

44:33scientific

44:34term

44:35is

44:35nobody

44:36reads

44:36anymore

44:37who

44:37cares

44:38but

44:42julie's

44:42infected

44:43foot

44:43has

44:45become

44:46really

44:48bad

44:48frank

44:51can't

44:51take it

44:52because

44:52the foot

44:52smells

44:53and

44:55they

44:55both

44:55don't

44:55have

44:56health

44:56coverage

44:56like

44:58the

44:58rest

44:58of

44:58the

44:58country

44:59no

45:00health

45:01coverage

45:01and

45:03julie's

45:04foot

45:04is

45:05essentially

45:05a

45:06piece

45:06of

45:07shit

45:07at

45:07this

45:07point

45:08her

45:09foot

45:09is

45:09literally

45:10a

45:11piece

45:11of

45:11shit

45:11but

45:19i

45:20want

45:21to

45:21raise

45:22a

45:22glass

45:22i

45:24want

45:24everybody

45:25to

45:25raise

45:26their

45:26glasses

45:27to

45:29julie

45:30and

45:31frank

45:32because

45:32we

45:32all

45:33know

45:33this

45:33will

45:34end

45:34up

45:34on

45:35forensic

45:35files

45:36here

45:36we

45:36go

45:37i

45:45don't

45:45respect

45:46you

45:46people

45:46i

45:49decided

45:49that

45:49a

45:49while

45:50ago

45:50i'm

45:55just

45:55anti

45:56fucking

45:56corporate

45:57big time

45:57i won't

45:58do any

45:58commercials

45:59you know

45:59i won't

46:00do any

46:00you know

46:01i'm not

46:01going to

46:01be one

46:02of these

46:02fucking

46:03people

46:04auditioning

46:05for

46:05commercials

46:06i might

46:06do

46:06one

46:07if

46:07i'm

46:07asked

46:07it's

46:09a lot

46:10of

46:10money

46:10driving

46:11around

46:12on a

46:122006

46:13honda

46:13element

46:14but i

46:20never

46:21got

46:21when i

46:21did

46:21audition

46:22for them

46:22i never

46:23got them

46:23because

46:24i was

46:25always

46:25too

46:25angry

46:26like

46:26let's

46:28say the

46:28product

46:28is

46:29downy

46:29and i'm

46:29holding

46:30a shirt

46:30and you

46:32have to

46:32say things

46:33like in

46:34this

46:34fucking

46:34unreal

46:35disgusting

46:36world of

46:37commercials

46:38you have

46:38to say

46:38things like

46:39honey

46:39how'd you

46:41get this

46:41shirt so

46:42fresh

46:42and you

46:50have to

46:51smile but

46:52my smile

46:52looks like

46:53a psychotic

46:54like

46:55someone you

46:56want to

46:56keep away

46:57from the

46:57kids

46:57it's like

47:05the smile

47:05you get

47:06when someone's

47:06trying to

47:06take a

47:07picture of

47:07you

47:08with their

47:08cell phone

47:09but it's

47:09not working

47:10and you

47:11start out

47:12like pretty

47:12natural

47:13but by the

47:14time they

47:14finally

47:15you're like

47:15it's like

47:18a rorschach

47:19blot to

47:20your soul

47:21okay you

47:24can see i

47:24was never

47:25loved take

47:25the fucking

47:26picture

47:27but this

47:35is how the

47:36auditions

47:36would go

47:37i would

47:37come into

47:37the casting

47:38and see

47:38hi mr

47:39peppertone

47:40um

47:41look um

47:44yeah so

47:44it's very

47:45simple

47:45it's uh

47:46downy

47:47downy

47:48aren't they

47:49uh

47:50aren't they

47:51owned by

47:51dow chemical

47:52the guys

47:52who did

47:53agent orange

47:54killed a lot

47:56of soldiers

47:56a lot of

47:57people

47:57yes agent

47:58orange was

47:59a misstep

48:00but they're

48:00back now

48:00with downy

48:01um

48:03yes they

48:07killed a lot

48:08a lot of

48:08people but

48:08you have a

48:09chance to be

48:10the spokesperson

48:10for them

48:11oh okay

48:12yeah yeah

48:13yeah um

48:14so all you

48:15have to do

48:15mr peppertone

48:16is um

48:17you just

48:18have to you

48:18know have a

48:19shirt in your

48:19hand imagine

48:20a shirt and

48:21just say honey

48:21how'd you get

48:22the shirt so

48:22fresh and

48:23whatever pops

48:24into your

48:25head too

48:25like if you

48:26think of

48:26something funny

48:26because we

48:27love to use

48:28lines that

48:30actors think

48:30about that

48:31we're not

48:31gonna pay

48:32all right

48:33so

48:33so okay

48:38so just

48:39honey how'd you

48:40get the shirt

48:40so fresh and

48:42whatever pops

48:43into my head

48:44thank you for

48:45this opportunity

48:46thank you so

48:49much

48:50but here we

48:52go so

48:53just honey

48:54you get the

48:54shirt so

48:54fresh and

48:55whatever pops

48:55into my

48:55head okay

48:56honey

48:57honey

49:00honey

49:02honey

49:04honey

49:05honey

49:06mr peppertone

49:07your wife

49:10your wife is

49:11right there

49:12all right

49:14sorry i have

49:16abandonment

49:17issues

49:18i've been

49:21left a lot

49:22i don't know

49:24what the fuck

49:25they want

49:25if i'm on top

49:28of them i'm

49:29smothering if i'm

49:30not there i'm

49:30aloof i don't know

49:32what the hell they

49:33want no no no no

49:34mr peppertone

49:35you have a very

49:37good relationship

49:39this is a beautiful

49:40family a very good

49:41relationship your

49:41wife is right

49:42there okay

49:43thank you again i

49:47hope that doesn't

49:48affect your choice

49:49on who's gonna be

49:51the spokesperson

49:52i mean downey had a

49:55misstep so did i

49:56correction dow

50:02chemical had a

50:03misstep so did i

50:05i'm sure downey

50:08has fucked up too

50:09all right so she

50:13loves me yeah it's

50:14a really nice

50:15marriage

50:16your wife loves

50:18you she's right

50:18there okay

50:19honey i know

50:20you're here

50:20bitch

50:20i don't know

50:26where the fuck

50:27you are

50:27but i know

50:29you're here

50:30you always sneak

50:31up on me

50:32with your little

50:33ballerina feet

50:35just because you

50:38caught me on the

50:38computer

50:39masturbating

50:40to hockey

50:41fights

50:42mr peppertone

50:44mr peppertone

50:45maybe not

50:47everything

50:48maybe not

50:49everything

50:49that pops

50:50into your

50:50head

50:50just

50:51kind of

50:52get

50:52i mean if

50:56you think

50:56of something

50:56funny

50:57do that

50:58but

50:59you know

51:01don't

51:01you know

51:03it's a good

51:03product

51:04and

51:04we want

51:05people to

51:06use it

51:07okay

51:07but she

51:09does that

51:10but i hope

51:18this doesn't

51:18affect your

51:19decision

51:19all right

51:22just

51:22okay and

51:23if something

51:23pops into my

51:24head okay

51:24honey

51:25i know

51:26you're here

51:27but i have

51:31one question

51:32how do you

51:33get these

51:34shirts so

51:35fresh

51:35when there

51:36are people

51:37not a hundred

51:38yards

51:38from our

51:39house

51:39stabbing each

51:40other for

51:41food

51:41yet you

51:45still

51:45get these

51:47shirts fresh

51:48how do you

51:52get these

51:52shirts so

51:53fresh

51:53when every

51:54five minutes

51:55there's a

51:55mass

51:56shooting

51:56how do

51:59you do

51:59it

51:59i mean

52:00there's so

52:01many mass

52:02shootings

52:02now

52:03i'm

52:03fucking

52:04bored

52:04by them

52:05how do

52:06you get

52:07these

52:07shirts

52:07fresh

52:08when nobody

52:10brings up

52:10the fact

52:11that we

52:11just have

52:12war

52:12after war

52:14after war

52:15and that

52:16over 50%

52:17of our

52:18gross

52:19spending

52:20goes to

52:21the pentagon

52:22and they

52:22don't know

52:23where billions

52:24and billions

52:25of dollars

52:26go each

52:26year

52:27and they

52:27kill

52:28people

52:29all over

52:29the globe

52:30which is

52:30why we're

52:31hated

52:31and you

52:32still

52:32are getting

52:33these shirts

52:34fresh

52:35how do you

52:36do it

52:37the climate

52:41scientists

52:45scientists

52:45are saying

52:46that we're

52:48fucked

52:48and that's

52:49a technical

52:50term now

52:51yet you

52:54still

52:55get these

52:57shirts

52:58fresh

52:58i mean for

53:00christ's sake

53:01we watch

53:01nature specials

53:02and cry

53:03polar bears

53:04don't have ice

53:06yet you

53:10still get

53:10these

53:10fresh

53:11little

53:12children

53:13poor

53:14children

53:15families

53:16fleeing

53:17violence

53:18from other

53:19countries

53:20they're having

53:21their kids

53:22put in cages

53:23yet you

53:24still

53:24get these

53:26shirts

53:27fresh

53:27gerrymandering

53:31is going

53:32on

53:32i don't

53:37understand

53:38it

53:38but it

53:40doesn't

53:40sound

53:41good

53:41yet you

53:45still

53:45get

53:47these

53:47shirts

53:48fresh

53:48but

53:50yesterday

53:51yesterday

53:53was the

53:54topper

53:54your

53:55sister

53:56came over

53:58to our

53:59house

53:59and took

54:00her life

54:01in front

54:01of the

54:01children

54:02yet you

54:11still

54:12got

54:14these

54:14shirts

54:15fresh

54:15and you

54:18know what

54:18bitch

54:19i don't

54:20want to

54:21know

54:21how

54:23you got

54:23them

54:23fresh

54:24i want

54:24to know

54:25why

54:26why

54:33are you

54:33burying

54:34your head

54:35in

54:35fucking

54:35laundry

54:36when

54:38the whole

54:38world

54:39is

54:39collapsing

54:40the

54:42fuck

54:42are you

54:43doing

54:44oh

54:46you

54:46use

54:46downey

54:47downey

54:47thank you

54:53thank you

54:53everybody

54:53thank you

54:58so much

54:59oh

55:01thank you

55:02oh no

55:04no

55:05no

55:05i thought i was

55:11very good as

55:11well

55:12no thank you

55:14so much

55:15for coming

55:16i love you

55:17all

55:17thank you

55:18that's my brother

55:41that's my brother

55:46freddy

55:48freddy

55:48pebitone

55:49you wash

55:50i'm tired

55:54from doing

55:54two hours

55:55and

55:55i'm gonna

55:57let you

55:57carry this

55:58just

56:00you

56:01just like you

56:03let me carry

56:04mommy's body

56:05after you

56:06pushed her

56:06down the

56:07stairs

56:07no you

56:08pushed her

56:09freddy

56:09you pushed her

56:10down the

56:11steps

56:11you pushed mommy

56:12with your words

56:14and you

56:14left

56:14you left

56:18a banana peel

56:19in front of my

56:19bedroom door

56:20and i come down

56:22here to what

56:23used to be

56:24the hayworth

56:25theater

56:25and i

56:26gloat

56:27that it's

56:28fallen this

56:29far

56:29i take it

56:32five cameras

56:34one of them

56:34left

56:35during the

56:35second act

56:36he walked

56:39down

56:40milshire

56:40boulevard

56:41they picked

56:42up the

56:43special

56:43of

56:44macartha

56:44park

56:45and

56:48you

56:49all

56:49fucked

56:49up

Eddie Pepitone - For the Masses (20)

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