Peep Show: The Slow Eyeball

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about bathroom etiquette and how you should check to see if a stall is occupied or open for business.

Transcript

00:00speaking of pooping so um you know i was away last weekend and i was driving back early saturday

00:11morning with my kid and uh the urge struck thankfully not diarrhea but just you know had

00:18to go to the bathroom so i go to this um you know rest stop and you couldn't tell like they didn't

00:26have any way to tell if the stalls were occupied or not yeah it was very odd like there was no like

00:34open closed sign or anything and all the stalls were shut doors closed yep oh and so i had just

00:42found myself like slowly walking down yeah you're a peer looking to see if i could see people in there

00:49i'm too tall to look for feet you gotta bend down and you gotta and then that's to me i say

00:55yeah but i you gotta back off right so it was like all the bathroom stalls are in one side then

01:03there's like a wall and on the other side is urinals yeah yeah and so i couldn't i just

01:09slowly made my way down kind of doing like a a peripheral look to see if i could until i found

01:15an empty stall but i definitely made eye contact with someone during that is it because you felt

01:21like pushing a door is too intrusive yes i pushed two and they were close i'm like oh and there's

01:27like 20 in a row yeah because if i was holding it knowing oh someone else is in here and then

01:32the door violently started to be pushed because you don't push a door gentle no i don't you know

01:38um i like everything would go everything would go that'd be terrible you knocked that old man

01:44unconscious on a plane i did he did i pushed it out of his way on him so he'd be having diarrhea or

01:49pooping and then you bust it in would be one of the scariest things i keep waiting for it to happen

01:54it has happened to you it has happened well i didn't have diarrhea thankfully you weren't pooping

01:59at the time just sitting and peeing but yeah as men do i think peeking under the door for the feet

02:07is better than like peering through because there were big cracks you see the eyeballs

02:13there were big cracks you see the eyeballs looking in and then i always think high in there yeah that

02:18guy wants me yeah especially when you're like slowly oh yeah well you can't go fast you gotta

02:23see if it's empty if you went fast it would just be a blur how many how many eyeballs like honestly

02:28they're like how many eyeballs have you stared directly at of people doing that move like so many

02:35in my life i think that at these rest stops they intentionally make the gap wide so no tomfoolery

02:41happens yeah but they just wait for the evening and then the tomfoolery all happens always happen

02:47foolery with tom's i would freak out to make eye contact with a lady you know like it's happening

02:53all the time i would freak me out if i i don't either way you would look i go i always look at his feet

02:59i couldn't do feet like i'd have to it was the doors were real get yourself a foot mirror and there was

03:04no space i'd have to like almost be crawling to see if i could see feet and if i ever had to do

03:10the crack it's sort of just like it's not like well i wasn't doing that i wasn't like hey how's it

03:16go someone in here hey someone in this one you know what you can do you can take your phone and

03:20just kind of put it on your head a little bit and then like check it and be like oh wow no someone is in there

03:27don't do that you're arrested you're tall enough you can go over with yeah even over top

03:31is anyone up there oh yeah hey yeah take a little picture just make sure yeah yeah check it to see

03:37if someone's in there yeah i'm just surprised nobody did like the warning throat clear like

03:42somebody's in here oh yeah i um have definitely had the the one eyeball go by and wait and i'm like

03:53what like like linger like you know man lingered at you yeah linger no lingering i lingers that's no good

03:59don't linger lingering eyeball and i i can always say you know well maybe it's just he was having a hard

04:05time is that's is there someone oh yeah no we're you're staring right at me bud so i saw this and

04:12this is why i'm bringing it up some etiquette expert came up with the list of public bathroom

04:16rules and one of them is never peek under a bathroom stall door to see if someone's there

04:21they say you can't do that they say the best thing you can do this is an etiquette expert did you just

04:26write this like we just got done saying look under the door he's like oh man i got a message

04:30from chucky says you cannot look under the door yeah i mean i will say it is it just seems a little

04:39ironic because i just got done on my soapbox like you look under the door and you're like you're not

04:44supposed to look under the door lisa failed etiquette class what did i what do i need to do here's what

04:51they say okay they say to knock politely oh no and say and say pardon me is anyone in there

04:58oh goodness pardon me is anyone in there pooping stranger i don't want to talk or peeing in my case

05:05it's a lot of times but like i did lisa they also say never peek between the cracks in the door

05:10yes you can't and you can't peek through the cracks so that's good advice i guess i knew it wasn't right

05:21like i knew i shouldn't be doing it but you needed but i needed to go and i needed to get into a bathroom

05:25and so knocking so ah it's like intrusive it's a gentle push you do the gentle push

05:31though i have it's broke sometimes that those things you ever have that with a latch

05:36isn't quite making it and you're just like please nobody and you're trying to

05:40oh god yeah the leaning push i put my tiny little leg right up

05:46how do you do that i try it doesn't work but it when they're up at least it would only open a

05:52certain amount excuse me gentlemen someone said to put little mirrors on my shoes that's what i'm

06:00saying you can do that a little like a mirror on a stick you can't do that no you're going to jail

06:06you'll be arrested uh one guy said i usually look over the top if i can oh boy if i actually

06:12accidentally make eye contact i just gave a hey how you doing you i'm a can't give me a hey how

06:18you don't listen i'm six five and i don't think i can look over the top in most stalls they should

06:24be taller than the people walking by should i wouldn't like somebody getting an above above look

06:30at me yeah above or below really that's uh that's another arrest there that i mean i think so

06:38peeking into do that i think i just know if i was in the scenario with dave like if it's a larger

06:44bathroom i just back off and get a try and get a like a feel for the feet yeah but then i'm telling

06:53you just got to go to the door push this bathroom was designed i know no i get it real low the hallway

06:58was real narrow i you would have had to be crawling to see feet that you can crawl in there you

07:02cannot yeah and disgusting never in a million years not a big deal so my only option was slowly

07:08do a slow drive-by oh man a one-eye drive-by you're almost better to do several fast drive-bys

07:16uh until you can you feel like you have a real

07:21you know like assessment of the situation the slow eyeball

07:26no but people are flying in and out of there like it's just

07:30the slow eyeball is awful

07:36the slow ball don't do it

07:38watch i'll do it to lisa right now

07:41you see that's it that's really weird right yeah it's super weird an imagined bathroom

07:53yeah like i'm i'm on the toilet yeah oh my god

07:58one just one little eyeball i do think one guy had a shocked look on his face

08:04yeah it's shocking if you can see his face well it was fast but i mean i honestly no but some

08:12of these cracks as wide as this microphone yeah that's why yeah that's i'm saying like if the

08:17crack is that wide that's ridiculous i can go by it up like this yeah i can really get yeah you

08:23can see pretty quickly zoom by like there's someone in there

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