Family Jewels

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an x-ray that revealed a guy had family jewels in his butt and Lisa thought that it might have meant something different.

Transcript

00:00a suspected jewel thief in turkey has been arrested after stolen rings and necklaces

00:13were found in his rectum during an x-ray exam the suspect identified as oa was arrested after

00:22police investigating a break-in noticed his peculiar walk oh it's a tough i mean i got

00:29jewels it would be hard walking with a butt full of jewels oh it sure would that guy's walking like

00:34you got pirate treasure up there because i do but in this amazing coincidence those objects belonged

00:40to that x-ray technician's family oh that's weird this dude with the stuff up his butt

00:47had stolen the stuff from the x-ray tech's family's house it's funny when i read the headline for that

00:53story it said um they found like this family jewels up there and i thought like i was thinking

00:59oh his family's balls i was like found his balls and then i read the story and i was like oh so

01:08unimpressed after that i'm like oh just regular family jewels he had his balls in his ass yeah

01:13like lisa had the story of the century she would have rushed into my office i would have she would

01:21have like she only breaks in when she finds the craziest stories yeah dave do you have the guy

01:26with the balls in his ass okay good i was thinking that too i was like i gotta get this to dave right

01:30away breaking news dave lisa runs down the hallway like old school news yeah like i come around the

01:37corner she knocks me out of the way move no time to explain dave look dave from what i gather from

01:44the headlines his balls are in his ass so in your mind you had already like because you like she went there

01:51you concoct the story so you're like this guy's been on he couldn't find his balls

01:55there was a long time we're like oh where is he and some doctor was like oh hey i'll write this

02:00butthole there yeah you said it there in your butthole is this in the anti-green radio program oh my god

02:08stop what you're doing and listen this came right from a woman which is shocking that she can find

02:12anything and even read for that matter but what a story about a man's balls right in his butthole

02:18can you believe that it's impossible it can't happen it's an anomaly of science build the world

02:25be ready for a butthole balls guy so he thought he lost them then he couldn't find him his entire life

02:31somebody left to look up his butthole there they are fingers right there two balls family jewels

02:37in his butthole his baby factory is right there in his butthole i'm live at the scene and i uh

02:43yes jack you're a man i trust you go ahead yes i'm live at the scene and uh sure enough

02:48his balls are directly in his ass right now in his butthole you say they're right in his butthole

02:54oh my god deep deep deep inside exclusive from the anti-green radio program doctors are working

03:00on a solution now i never admit that i was wrong but i was totally against hiring a woman for this

03:05program but god damn it lisa way has found a hell of a story i must concede so did my disappointment

03:13when i clicked on the story and saw like actual jewels i'm like ah what family jewels

03:22yeah pretty it does you know i just realized that same headlines on my story here finds family

03:29jewels and suspects yeah some dude that wrote that was like yeah i'm gonna mess with some people

03:34must be me yeah lisa's like oh my god she thought she had the perfect dave and chuck the freak story

03:40i did sweet jesus and the other end some other guy's like i've lost my balls guys i have no idea

03:47where my suspect yeah the suspect who's gone has my balls and they're in a guy's butt you guys my balls

03:54are gone oh i'm like well let me let me take let me take a look dude i can't see him anywhere

04:03you can't see him i'm looking closely i chuck tell us what you got on that uh looks like a

04:09oh my god stretch his sack is leading somewhere oh yeah where's it going it's going oh boy

04:17oh no what do you got on us i believe it's up his ass oh dear christ

04:24yeah how does this even happen i don't know this whole world is going to crap man

04:30any green radio program was not ready for such a day that would live in infamy great headline but

04:35yeah no it was actually uh a certain family's jewels not this guy's balls although we have seen that

04:40too yes we've seen but you've seen why i didn't think it was that crazy in the b in the b in the b

04:46yeah once you've seen it you know it can happen yeah we haven't seen have we seen its own no it's

04:53time to see it that's why i thought it was breaking news so i'm searching for here is guy

04:57puts balls in his own ass yes that's what i'm searching for that is i'm gonna leave

05:05oh no you want to see it no you want to see it oh you want to see it oh my god you want to see it

05:12oh no oh ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow oh oh they keep falling didn't go in didn't go in

05:24and they keep falling out.

05:25They go in, but they fall out.

05:28What?

05:31It's going to hurt.

05:33It's going to hurt the way she's pushing them.

05:35She's squeezing them.

05:36I don't think there's a way to be gentle

05:40and get them in there.

05:42He just needs to relax a little bit.

05:44Yeah, relax, dude. Relax.

05:46It'll hurt less.

05:47Is that the longest sack you've ever seen in your life?

05:49It is long.

05:51It's in! It's in!

05:53It's in! It's in!

05:56Oh my god, damn.

05:58So that's what Lisa thought.

05:59Well, there you go. Family jewels.

06:02But not that kind.

06:04It doesn't even matter, because the headline alone

06:06just made us take it there.

06:08So it's perfect. Absolutely.

Category

Transcript

Recommended