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00:00The Lucy Show
00:09Starring Lucille Ball
00:16Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Brought to you by
00:32Lucy?
00:33Yeah.
00:34What was so important you had to give up your lunch hour for Mr. Mooney?
00:37Well, Mr. Barmarsh the jeweler is bringing a present over here that Mr. Mooney bought for his wife.
00:43Mr. Mooney bought a present for his wife?
00:46He had a ring made for her.
00:49What'd she catch him at?
00:52Nothing.
00:54It's their wedding anniversary.
00:56Well, Lucy, from what you've told me, I didn't even think Mr. Mooney was fond of his wife.
01:01He's fond of anything that's deductible.
01:06This is the check that I have to give to the jeweler.
01:09How much is the check for?
01:11I don't know.
01:12It's sealed in this envelope.
01:14Well, let's open it and take a peek.
01:16Mary Jane.
01:18Well, aren't you curious how much Mr. Mooney's spending on a present for his wife?
01:22It's none of my business.
01:24If Mr. Mooney wanted me to know, he wouldn't have sealed the check in an envelope.
01:29You could steam it open.
01:31Mary Jane.
01:32That's unladylike and unethical.
01:36And turn up the heat under that cabinet.
01:42There.
01:43Now put it right over it.
01:44Right back here.
01:46See how it's doing?
01:47Oh, yeah.
01:48See where it's going.
01:49Now turn it off.
01:50Oh, I feel just like James Bond.
01:55What's that?
01:57It's another sealed envelope with some writing on it.
01:59What does it say?
02:01If you open this one, Mrs. Carmichael, you're fired.
02:04How do you like the nerve of that man?
02:10After knowing me all these years, he doesn't trust me.
02:23Carmichael.
02:23Yes, sir?
02:24Did Julie get here with the ring yet?
02:25No, sir.
02:26He didn't.
02:27Here's the check.
02:28What are you doing?
02:38I'm giving the envelope a rubdown.
02:40It's all right.
02:41They had a steam.
02:45Mr. Mooney, are you insinuating that...
02:48Yes.
02:50I won't even dignify that with a denial.
02:54Come in.
02:55Oh, Mr. Balmarsh, I've been expecting you.
02:59I regret I was unavoidably detained.
03:02Mr. Mooney, the ring turned out more beautifully than I anticipated.
03:06Oh.
03:08Oh, it's absolutely gorgeous.
03:11Oh, Mr. Balmarsh, that is really a work of art.
03:16Oh, Mr. Mooney, your wife is a lucky woman to be married to a man like you.
03:21I know.
03:22I can hardly wait to see her face when I give her this at the party tonight.
03:28Oh, is the ring a surprise?
03:30Surprise nothing.
03:31She designed it herself.
03:32Oh.
03:33Oh, here's your check, Mr. Balmarsh.
03:35Oh, thank you.
03:36Well, this seems to be an order.
03:38Six thousand dollars.
03:44Now you know, nosy.
03:46Hey.
03:46I beg your pardon?
03:49Oh, that was just something I had to tell my secretary.
03:52And here is your receipt.
03:53Oh, thank you very much.
03:54Good day, sir.
03:55Oh, Mr. Balmarsh.
03:56Yes?
03:56Aren't you forgetting something?
03:58Forgetting something?
04:00Oh, well, yes.
04:00I thought with a purchase this size, what at least you could do.
04:03When you ordered the ring, I made it quite clear.
04:07We do not give trading stamps.
04:13My, this certainly does sparkle, doesn't it?
04:17Oh, it's absolutely scrumptious.
04:19Oh, Mr. Mooney.
04:21Mr. Mooney, would you do me a favor?
04:24What's that, Mrs. Carmichael?
04:25Would you let me try the ring on?
04:27Why?
04:29Well, I'll never be able to afford a thing like that.
04:33And I just like the thrill of seeing how it looks on me.
04:36That's all.
04:37Well, of course.
04:38You may try it on.
04:39Thank you, sir.
04:40Be very careful.
04:41Oh, I will.
04:42I won't drop it.
04:42No, no, don't.
04:43No, sir.
04:44Oh, it is so beautiful.
04:46Yes, it is.
04:48Oh, it's heavy.
04:50It's really heavy.
04:52Oh, my dear.
04:54Oh, what is it?
04:55Oh, my dear.
04:57Oh, oh, oh, how do you do?
05:00It's so good to see you, Duchess.
05:02Oh, nice of you to come to my little soiree.
05:06Oh, Elizabeth and Philip.
05:09Oh, yes.
05:10How are things at the palace?
05:12Oh, that's nice.
05:14Oh, this?
05:15Oh, it's just a new little barbell I picked up.
05:19I see you're still wearing that same old crown.
05:22Oh, all right, Mrs. Carmichael.
05:27Fun time's over.
05:28Oh.
05:28Yes, let's get back to work now.
05:30Yes, sir.
05:30And I want to thank you very much for allowing me to put it out.
05:34That's all right.
05:34It was nice seeing you.
05:35It's a thrill, I can tell you that.
05:37Yes.
05:38Oh, dear.
05:47Oh, no.
05:50Oh, no, no, don't.
05:52Don't tell me that you can't.
05:54I won't.
05:57But I can't.
05:58Will you come out if this is one of your practical jokes?
06:01No, sir, it's not a joke.
06:02The ring is really stuck.
06:03I can't...
06:04This is what I get for being nice to people.
06:05Get it off, get it off.
06:06I'm trying, I'm trying.
06:08Well, try harder, try harder.
06:10Here, here, let me try, let me try.
06:11Here, I'll get it off.
06:13Mr. Mooney, Mr. Mooney, be careful, please.
06:16Mr. Mooney.
06:17Mrs. Carmichael.
06:19What?
06:19Brace yourself.
06:20For what?
06:24Brace.
06:24Oh, well, you got it on, you get it off.
06:27All right, all right.
06:27Oh, we're ridiculous, idiotic, stupid, horrible.
06:30Oh, now, don't yell, don't yell.
06:32You'll make my fingers swell.
06:34Yeah, we make your fingers swell.
06:36Yes, it's a condition I have.
06:38When I get nervous, my fingers swell.
06:40See, started already.
06:42Well, I should have known a fat head would have fat fingers.
06:47Now, don't make it worse, for heaven's sake.
06:49Just give me a minute, I'll get it off.
06:53Oh, you know, I think I know how.
06:56Oh, what, what, what, what, what?
06:57Well, they say sometimes when you get a ring stuck,
06:59if you put soap and water on it, it'll just slip right off.
07:02That's right, that's right, yes.
07:03All right, I'll be right back.
07:04Wait, hold it!
07:07I'm not going to let you out of my sight.
07:09I'm going with you.
07:10To the ladies' room?
07:11No.
07:24Did you get it off?
07:25No, but I've got the fattest wrinkled fingers in town.
07:30Oh, no.
07:31Now, now, Mr. Mooney, don't give up.
07:34There must be a way.
07:36Remember, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
07:40Slow and steady wins the race.
07:43He who gives up...
07:44Oh, be quiet!
07:47I'm trying to think.
07:48All right, all right.
07:49Now, I'll think, too.
07:50After all, two heads are better than one.
07:52Normally, yes, but in this...
07:54Oh.
07:56Wait a minute.
07:57Ah, that's it.
07:58What?
07:59What's it?
07:59I'm going to call the hardware store and have them send over a hacksaw.
08:02A hacksaw?
08:03Oh, Mr. Mooney, it'd be a shame to cut a beautiful ring like this.
08:08I wasn't thinking of cutting the ring.
08:13Well, you certainly can't be thinking of cutting...
08:15Oh, no, no.
08:16I guess not.
08:18Although, the way you type with fewer fingers, you'd make fewer mistakes.
08:23Oh, Mr. Mooney...
08:25Now, Mr. Carmichael, you get that off or you are fired!
08:28I am sick and tired of your ridiculous...
08:31Oh, don't cry.
08:33I'd feel bad enough without you yelling at me.
08:37Yeah, but don't cry.
08:39Don't cry.
08:39Well, don't yell.
08:41Don't yell.
08:43The more you yell, the more nervous you make me.
08:45And the more nervous I get, the more my fingers swell.
08:49I got a condition.
08:51Why don't you see a doctor about that condition?
08:53I did, and he gave me some pills for it.
08:56Oh, what kind of pills?
08:57Relaxing pills.
08:58I think I better take some right out.
09:01Well, please do.
09:02Please do.
09:02You may be so nervous, Mr. Mooney.
09:03Oh, I'll get some water.
09:05You always yell.
09:06You never wait for anybody to explain anything.
09:07Well, now, just take it easy.
09:09Take it easy.
09:09If you have to take pills, take pills.
09:11Here's the more.
09:11I am.
09:11I am.
09:12There you are.
09:13Oh, that's good.
09:14That's fine.
09:15Oh, you're doing very well.
09:16Good.
09:16All right, now.
09:21Now, do you feel any better?
09:23No, I don't feel better yet.
09:24No.
09:25I got to have time to relax and be quiet.
09:28Relax.
09:28Oh, all right.
09:29We'll have you relaxed in no time at all.
09:31We'll do that now.
09:32Just make it easy.
09:34Here we are.
09:34Now, come along.
09:35Sit down.
09:36That's easy.
09:37Easy, does it?
09:38Now, lie back.
09:39Lie back.
09:41That's right.
09:41Now, put your head back.
09:43There you are.
09:44Close your eyes.
09:46There we go.
09:48Rock-a-bye, baby.
09:53If you relax, the swelling will stop.
09:59Oh, that telephone bell.
10:03Hello.
10:05Yes, Miss Jones, yes.
10:07All right, Miss Jones.
10:08Yes, yes.
10:09I'll take care of it.
10:10Okay, thank you very much.
10:12That bell scares me to death every time.
10:15I've asked them to change that bell.
10:16Relax, please.
10:17If you'd ask them, maybe they'd get a softer bell on there.
10:21I get scared all day long with that bell.
10:23No, no, no.
10:24Relax.
10:25Relax.
10:26You're not going to sing anymore, are you?
10:32Mrs. Carmichael.
10:33What?
10:34How long will it take for those pills to take effect?
10:37I don't know.
10:37No, I never took them before.
10:40Well, I hope they work fast, because if I don't get that ring to my wife at that party tonight, she'll kill me.
10:46She'll bite my head off.
10:48And with her big mouth, she can do it, too.
10:50Oh, that woman, when she gets mad, she'll hurt me.
10:53Mr. Mooney.
10:53Mr. Mooney.
10:55Mr. Mooney.
10:55Uh, it's hard for me to relax here with the phone ringing and you talking all the time.
11:01I think, really, that I'd get more rest if I went home, if you don't mind.
11:04Oh, all right, all right, all right, all right.
11:06It might be good for your condition.
11:07Yes, it would help, it would help.
11:09I think I'll take one for the road.
11:10Oh, all right, okay.
11:13All right, now, we'll see that you get home, all right?
11:15That's a good girl.
11:17That's a good girl.
11:18All right, we're at your power, Mr. Mooney.
11:48Mrs. Carmichael?
11:51Mrs. Carmichael?
11:54Mrs. Carmichael?
11:57Ah, there we go.
12:00All right, there we go.
12:02Let's, let's.
12:03Oh, Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss Carmichael, upsy-daisy, upsy-daisy.
12:23Oh, Miss, lovely, upsy-daisy.
12:26That's a good girl.
12:27There, you see, now you're...
12:28Mrs. Carmichael, upsy-daisy.
12:36Oh, Miss, oh, Miss, oh, Miss, oh.
12:40Oh, you're doing very well.
12:43All right, all right.
12:46This way.
12:49Oh, thanks.
12:50Oh, thanks.
12:51Oh, thanks.
12:52Oh, thanks.
12:54We'll go.
12:55Oh, oh.
12:58Oh, thanks.
12:59Oh, thanks.
13:09Mrs. Carmichael, don't forget.
13:13Oh, you.
13:21Oh, thanks.
13:23Oh, thanks.
13:25Oh, thanks.
13:27Oh, thanks.
13:27Oh, thanks.
13:28Now we'll go over here.
13:35Over here.
13:41Over here.
13:48And there's a curve now.
13:49We'll just throw our foot up on the curve.
13:53I didn't realize those pills were so powerful.
14:15There we are.
14:23And they worry about our generation.
14:45We're almost there, we're almost there.
15:01One more.
15:08If you can hear me, I have to get into your purse and get your key to your apartment.
15:29All right?
15:39What do you think you're doing, mister?
15:46What do you think I'm doing, you idiot?
15:52I'm going through her purse.
15:53Well, you're a cool one and in broad daylight, too.
15:59Officer!
16:00Wait!
16:01Officer!
16:02Wait!
16:03Wait!
16:04Officer!
16:05Believe me, this isn't what it appears to be.
16:07I'm not a purse, Nancy.
16:08I'm just trying to get her ring.
16:09I knocked the poor girl out to get it, huh?
16:10I did not!
16:11This is my secretary.
16:12I'm trying to get her to her apartment.
16:13sir. Wait! Officer, believe me, this isn't what it appears to be. I'm not a person,
16:21Andrew. I'm just trying to get a ring. I knocked the poor girl out to get it. I did not. This
16:28is my secretary. I'm trying to get her to her apartment. You ought to be ashamed of
16:34your... Well, I can explain that. Well, you're better. Yes. Well, you see, I bought a ring
16:41for my wife. Here, here, here. There it is, right there. My secretary tried it on, and
16:47it got stuck. A likely story. Well, I can show you the receipt. I'd like to see it. You
16:54would. Hold this. There it is. There's the receipt. Here. There. Received $6,000 from
17:10Theodore J. Mooney for one ring, huh? Now, how am I supposed to know that you're Theodore
17:16J. Mooney? Oh, for heaven's sake. Hold this again. There's my identification. All right.
17:34Yeah? I guess you're Theodore J. Mooney, all right? Of course I am. Of course I am. Now,
17:38all I want to do is get this poor girl off the street. You see, she has a condition.
17:43I can see the condition. All right. Now, Mr. Carmichael, we don't have too far to go
17:50now. We just go up the steps like a good little girl, huh? So, here we go. Hold on. Come on,
17:57now. Let's back up a little bit. Now, we put one foot up. Hooray! Oh, that's good. Now, we put another one.
18:08Away we go. Oh, that's good. Now, we put the other one. Away we go. Oh, that's good. Whoa.
18:15There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go.
18:30Michael, snap out of it. Snap out of it. Time's a-wasting. I just got to get that ring. My wife,
18:37you just killed me if I killed you. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
18:49There you are. Hi, Mr. Mooney. How are you? I'm fine. How do you really feel? Fine, fine. Oh, good.
19:02What do you want? I want to get this ring off, remember? Oh, a ring. Yeah. Oh, we got to go to my
19:13apartment. Yeah. We're at your apartment. Oh, are we? Oh, yes. We've been here for
19:21over an hour. Is that so? Yeah. Do you think you can get that ring off now? Huh? No. It's stuck. Yeah.
19:34Well, maybe if we put soap and water on it again, it would come off. Maybe. It's a good
19:40thing. Oh, no, no, Mrs. Carmich. Don't go to me. Please, Mrs. Carmich. Oh, Mrs. Carmich.
19:47Oh, Mrs. Carmich. Oh, no. Open. Open. Open. Open. Come on, Mr. Chester. One good ahead
19:52of the other. Oh, that's good. Now, we'll go to the sink and get some milk and water. Oh,
19:58you're doing very well indeed. Oh, that's so good. There we are. And over here is the sink.
20:04This is my kitchen. There we are. There we are. You're good. Now, we got some soap and
20:14some water. And we'll get your hands all soapy. And then the ring will come off. And everything
20:19will begin. Oh, you want to get the ring off? Yes. Yes. Yes. There we go. That's it. Now,
20:26that loosens it, doesn't it? Yeah, it gets all slippery. Yes. Okay. Now, how is it coming
20:33along now? Uh, it's off. It's off. Oh, wonderful. Let me have it. What? Let me have it. Oh.
20:42Can you find it? No, I can't find it. Oh, well, let me have it. Let me have it. Let me
20:55get it. Let me just get these suds out of here. Here we can get it. All right. Oh, for
20:59the love of you. Get these suds out of here. Oh, okay. That's right. Get them out of here.
21:04Oh, there we are. The suds, the suds. The suds. The suds. You know, don't touch me. Don't
21:11touch me. Get them out of here. Well, I didn't mean to. Get the suds out of here. Oh,
21:16hurry up. Hurry up. There we are. Yeah. The suds are all gone. Yeah. So is the
21:22ring. It went down the drain. Down the drain. Down the drain. Oh, I can't see what
21:31happens when things get stuck in there. I just turn this switch on. Don't turn that
21:37on. Well, I wasn't going to turn it on when your hand was in there. You think I'm stupid
21:42or something? Don't tempt me with obvious questions. And don't turn that switch on. I
21:49don't want a $6,000 ring ground up into garbage. Of course you don't. No, of course I
21:54don't. Well, have you got a plumber? Yes, but he doesn't make house calls. Well, he
22:00got some tools. Yes, I have. Get them. Oh. What have you got? What? What have you got
22:05in the way of tools? Oh, I got a hammer and I got a thingamajig and a do-hicky. What's a
22:11thingamajig and a do-hicky? That's a do-hicky and that's a thingamajig and that's a hammer. I
22:16know a hammer. Maybe I can do something here. That's a garbage disposal. I know it's a garbage.
22:25Hey, give me a wrench. A what? A thingamajig. Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
22:32Now, if I can just get this pipe loose here, we might be able to see what's going on here.
22:36You think you know what you're doing? Of course I know what I'm doing. There we are. Look
22:41through that. No, there's nothing there. Will you get the hammer and help me now? Yes,
22:54sir. What do you want me to do? Well, now I'm going to try and get this fitting loose,
22:58this gooseneck here. What? This gooseneck. I'm going to loosen the fitting around it and
23:02then when I get the wrench on it, you hit it with the hammer and that'll break it loose. All right.
23:06Now, there we go. Now, hit it now. All right. That's good. One more. That's good. Another
23:11one. Yeah! Oh, oh, oh, oh. I got it loose. I got it loose. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. The most amazing
23:25thing just happened. I was down in the laundry room doing my hello, Mr. Mooney laundry and I
23:29was using that washing machine that they're fixing in the pipes and I reached out and got my laundry
23:33and look what I found. My ring! My ring! What do you mean your ring? It is his ring. I
23:40mean his wife's ring. Remember the ring I told you about in the office? Yes. Well, Mr. Mooney
23:46let me put it on and it got stuck on my poor little finger and we had to get some soap on
23:51it and it slipped off and it went down the drain. I guess it went all the way to the laundry.
23:55Mr. Mooney has been so upset. Just give it to me, please. He's got a big A to his wife. Oh,
24:02what we went through. I know. But it's all right now? Yes, it is. We can get that off. I can't
24:08get it off. What? I can't get the ring off. Oh, no. You're kidding. Oh, no. I can't. You're kidding.
24:14Oh, not again! Not again! That's what I get for people. I can't get it. Oh, no. I can't get it.
24:27THE END
24:57THE END
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