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Fun
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00:00The
00:10Show
00:14Starring Lucille Ball
00:18Co-starry, Gail Gordon
00:48You can relax, Lucy. It's only me.
01:07Oh, Mary Jane. I thought it was Mr. Mooney. I want him to think I was working.
01:12Yeah, well, you'll never fool him that way.
01:14Why not?
01:15You haven't got any paper in the typewriter.
01:18Hey, did you see this afternoon's paper?
01:20No, why?
01:21Stacy's department store is having a big sale.
01:24Really?
01:25Oh, wow. They're really having a sale.
01:28Everything's more than half off.
01:30Yeah, half off. That bikini on that model looks it.
01:34Oh, that is a beauty. I'd love to have that bikini.
01:38Oh, Lucy, would you wear a bikini like that on a public beach?
01:42No, but I'd hang it on my clothesline. That ought to get me some action.
01:46See, everything's on sale. Appliances, clothes, furniture.
01:52Uh-oh.
01:53What?
01:54The sale is for one day only. Tomorrow.
01:56So?
01:57So I have to work tomorrow.
01:59Well, so do I, but I'm gonna tell my boss I've got a toothache.
02:03Why don't you tell Mr. Mooney you have to go to the dentist?
02:06No. I tried that a few times, and Mr. Mooney always insists on going to the dentist with me.
02:11You are cute.
02:13Yep. Yep, so far I've had three perfectly good teeth pulled.
02:20If I do it anymore, I won't have a tooth in my head.
02:23Well, why don't you tell him you've got the mumps?
02:26Oh, no. I told him I'm sick too often. He'd just never believe me.
02:31He'd believe you if he saw you getting sick.
02:34What do you mean?
02:35While you're working this afternoon, act sick.
02:39You know, moan, groan, cry a little.
02:42Well, that won't work. I do that every week when he gives me my salary.
02:45But, Lucy, if he sees you getting sick right here in this office, he'll insist that you go home.
02:53Well, now, Mr. Mooney, he's not easy to fool.
02:56He's a man, isn't he?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Well, then he's easy to fool.
03:00If you play it smart, you see, you don't say you're sick.
03:04You just act sick.
03:05And then when he suggests you go home, you refuse.
03:09Refuse?
03:10And then when you refuse to go home, he'll insist you go home.
03:14He'll insist?
03:15Believe me, when Mr. Mooney sees you suffering, he's got to sympathize with you.
03:19After all, he's human.
03:22Let's not make any snap judgments.
03:26Well, it's worth a try.
03:27All right. I'll give it a try.
03:29I really would love to go shopping. You know I need a new refrigerator.
03:33What's the matter of the one you got?
03:35Well, you know it has a capacity of 14 cubic feet, right?
03:39Yeah.
03:40Yeah, well, I got one foot of food and 13 feet of frost.
03:44Everything frosts up.
03:46Everything?
03:47Yeah. Tonight for dinner, I'm having a spaghetti popsicle.
03:51Oh.
03:52Would you like to join me?
03:53See you later.
03:54Okay.
03:55Right and early now.
03:56If I can fool Mr. Mooney.
03:57Don't worry. It'll work. Do what I said.
04:00All right.
04:01Mr. Wilson and Russ.
04:07Yes, sir. Wilson and Russ.
04:09Gentlemen, regarding your inquiry of the 15th, I think the loan...
04:14Ah!
04:15Can you say something, Mrs. Carmichael?
04:20No, sir.
04:21Oh.
04:22I think the loan can be arranged on the following terms.
04:27Ah!
04:32Mrs. Carmichael, are you all right?
04:34Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
04:36Yes, sir.
04:37All right. How about that?
04:38Oh, the following term.
04:39The principal will be paid over a period of 20 years.
04:42Ah!
04:43Are you sure you're all right?
04:51Oh, yes, yes. I feel f-f-f-fine.
04:55Oh!
04:56Well, if you have to pass it, I can rest for a while.
04:58Oh, no. No, sir.
04:59There's work to be done.
05:00Oh.
05:01All right. Then let's get on with it.
05:05Oh, yes.
05:06Payments will be made semi-annually.
05:07On the 1st of January.
05:09And on the 1st of July next year.
05:13Yeah.
05:18Mrs. Carmichael, are you in pain?
05:20No.
05:23Is it constant pain?
05:24No.
05:25Only when I breathe.
05:29Well, maybe you'd like to go home.
05:31Oh, no. No, I'd rather stay.
05:33Let's just keep on working.
05:35I feel much better when I'm working.
05:36It takes my mind off the pain.
05:38Oh. Now, are you quite sure you want to continue working?
05:41Oh, yes, sir. I'll be all right.
05:43Oh. All right.
05:44Where was I?
05:4515th January.
05:46Oh, yes.
05:47Should a payment be missed, there will be a forfeiture penalty.
05:50Oh, yes.
05:51I can't hold the pencil.
05:55What's the matter with it?
05:56What's the matter with it?
05:57It's stuck. It's having a spasm.
05:58Mrs. Carmichael, you are real.
06:01Oh.
06:02Oh.
06:03Let me feel your forehead.
06:05No fever, no.
06:06Let me see your tongue.
06:11Looks all right.
06:12Let me look at those eyes.
06:14Oh.
06:15I hope whatever it is isn't contagious.
06:21Well, let's continue with the dictation.
06:23I'll write with my left hand.
06:24Mrs. Carmichael, please.
06:26Go home.
06:27No.
06:28I want to stay.
06:29I want to stay.
06:30I want to work.
06:31I want to work.
06:32I want to work.
06:33I want to work.
06:34Mrs. Carmichael, I think you ought to go home.
06:35No, I want to stay.
06:36I want to stay.
06:37Mrs. Carmichael, I insist that you go home.
06:40Oh, well, if you insist.
06:42Thank you very much, Mr. Morning.
06:46You're very thoughtful.
06:47Don't mention it.
06:48Don't mention it.
06:49And if you don't feel well tomorrow, don't.
06:51Oh, come back to work.
06:52No, I won't.
06:53I won't.
07:07Now, remember, this is our biggest sale.
07:10And this is the zero hour.
07:12Hope you're all prepared for what's coming.
07:15Remember, those are customers out there.
07:18And they outnumber us by more than 50 to one.
07:21And I can assure you, they will show us no mercy.
07:26Good luck, everybody.
07:27To your post.
07:28To your post.
07:29Come on.
07:31They're here.
07:32They're here.
07:33They're here.
07:34Lucy.
07:35Lucy.
07:36Lucy.
07:37Lucy.
07:38Oh, God.
07:40Oh, I haven't been mauled and crushed like that since my first blind date in high school.
07:51Good heavens.
07:52Come on over here.
07:53Look.
07:54The Jiffy automatic stove.
07:56Set the timer and it turns itself on and off.
07:59How do you like that?
08:00You don't even have to be home to burn your dinner.
08:03Oh, boy.
08:04Cooking is so easy now.
08:06They've got instant cream, instant coffee, instant milk, instant this, instant that.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Everything but instant money to pay for it.
08:15Oh, boy.
08:16Oh, hey.
08:17I see the juicers I want over here.
08:18What?
08:19The orange juicer.
08:20What's so funny?
08:21Come here.
08:22Look.
08:23Look at the name and the slogan.
08:24Little squeeze orange juicer.
08:25Men, make your wife happy.
08:26Give her a little squeeze in the kitchen.
08:28You get your little squeeze.
08:29I'm going to look her out.
08:30Okay.
08:31Oh, miss.
08:32Miss.
08:33Miss.
08:34Miss.
08:35Miss.
08:36Miss.
08:37Miss.
08:38You get your little squeeze.
08:41I'm going to look her out.
08:42Okay.
08:43Oh, miss.
08:44Miss.
08:45Miss.
08:46Miss.
08:47Miss.
08:48Miss.
08:49Miss.
08:50Miss.
08:51Miss.
08:52Miss.
08:53Miss.
08:54Miss.
08:55Miss.
08:56Miss.
08:57Miss.
08:58Miss.
08:59Miss.
09:00Miss.
09:01Miss.
09:02Miss.
09:03Miss.
09:04Miss.
09:05Miss.
09:06Miss.
09:07Miss.
09:08Miss.
09:09Miss.
09:10Miss.
09:11Miss.
09:12Miss.
09:13Miss.
09:14Miss.
09:15Miss.
09:16Miss.
09:17Miss.
09:18And why did you break that dish?
09:21Well, I'm sorry, but it said try our unbreakable dishes.
09:25So I just picked them up and I just tapped them.
09:31You did it again.
09:32Well, for heaven's sake, why does it say unbreakable when they're breakable?
09:37Those are unbreakable.
09:40These are imported Chinese.
09:44Unbreakable.
09:45You should know.
09:48These are the unbreakable?
09:50Guaranteed.
10:05Madam, there are 59 different departments in this store.
10:09Why did you have to come to this one?
10:11Never mind.
10:12Now, just what kind of dishes do you want?
10:15Well, I don't want any dishes.
10:19You don't want dishes?
10:21No, I came in here to buy a refrigerator.
10:23The refrigerators are over there.
10:26Oh, well, thank you.
10:27Don't touch that!
10:35Break it!
10:38Because you are liable to break it.
10:40If you're interested in this model, I will demonstrate it for you.
10:45Now, this is the freezer unit with the automatic ice maker.
10:49Mm-hmm.
10:49Mm-hmm.
10:50Mm-hmm.
10:50Yes.
10:51And the vegetable crisper latest design.
10:56So is the meat freshener.
10:58Shelves slide in and out easily.
10:59Mm-hmm.
11:01Right.
11:01It has a five-year guarantee, and it comes at the amazingly low sale price of only $2.99.99.
11:10$2.99.99?
11:13Yes.
11:14Is Madam interested in making a purchase?
11:16Well, Madam is, but Madam's budget isn't.
11:19I'll have to think it over.
11:21May I have your card in case I decide on anything?
11:24Very well.
11:31Hi.
11:32Oh, did you get your squeezer?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Did you find a refrigerator you like?
11:35Yeah, I found one I like.
11:37But it's $2.99.99.
11:40Oh, that's a lot of money, but isn't that beautiful?
11:43Yeah.
11:44And it's got all the newest gadgets.
11:46Look.
11:48Look.
11:48I knew it.
11:54I knew it.
11:55I knew it.
12:00Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr.
12:03Give me back my card.
12:07I don't want you to even know my name.
12:12I've got to know your name in case I decide to buy a refrigerator.
12:15I won't know whom to ask for.
12:16Good.
12:17Good.
12:17Good.
12:18Please, madam, just don't buy a refrigerator.
12:21Well, I...
12:22Eat warm food.
12:24Go to another department.
12:26I don't...
12:26Please, go, go, go.
12:28Oh, my God.
12:29I don't feel so emotional.
12:32No wonder they're having a sale.
12:34Everything's broken.
12:35Give you a good one.
12:47Hide and hut.
12:48I'll see you next year.
12:53Please, madam, no on my shark.
12:56I'll be there.
12:57Hello.
12:59I'll be there.
12:59Stay straight with me.
13:00I'll be there.
13:01Tell me to speak about it.
13:02I'm here.
13:02Miss are you here to do it.
13:03Why?
13:03you're the one
13:19yes you did
13:24what did i do
13:25you just became our customer of the year
13:27i did
13:28you're up
13:29you're a very lucky lady
13:35really
13:35you're the 10 millionth customer to enter this department
13:38and you've just received
13:40a great many valuable gifts
13:42what did i get what did i get what did i get
13:44well you got a set of golf clubs
13:46golf clubs
13:47a set of luggage
13:48a washing machine a dryer
13:50a dishwasher
13:51a color television set
13:53a color television set
13:56and
13:57this beautiful refrigerator
13:59completely stocked with food
14:00a refrigerator
14:01that's what i came in here to buy
14:03that's what you came in to buy
14:03that's the one thing that i wanted to
14:05and i want to
14:06you're a very lucky lady
14:07oh i certainly am
14:09nothing like this ever happened to me
14:10oh and you're lucky too mary j
14:12i am
14:13i'm gonna give the color tv set to you
14:15you're gonna give it to me
14:17yes
14:18but we'll keep it in my apartment
14:19and you can come down and watch it anytime you want
14:24and you can eat from my completely stocked refrigerator
14:27would you please give me your name and address
14:29yes lucille carmichael
14:31oh where do i live
14:32where do i live
14:32gower street
14:33glenn hall apartment
14:34yes 780 north gower street hollywood
14:38and you're a housewife
14:39uh i am
14:40oh yeah
14:40yes i i am
14:42yes
14:42i um
14:43i do take care of my apartment
14:45but i um
14:45i work during the day at the westland bank
14:48a very fine bank
14:49oh the best bank in town
14:51you may quote me
14:52uh mrs carmichael
14:54yes
14:54our photographer is here
14:55your photographer
14:56would you mind having your picture taken
14:58while i congratulate you
14:59oh i
14:59i didn't expect to have my picture taken today
15:02well i
15:03oh
15:03oh
15:03my hair must be a mess
15:05good heavens
15:06that bulb is so bright
15:08all i can see is a
15:09big blue blob
15:10thank you and congratulations again
15:13well thank you
15:15your prizes will be delivered in a few days
15:20oh oh really
15:21oh thank you very much
15:22and remember to buy tomorrow's newspaper
15:24your picture will be in it
15:25and a story all about you
15:27oh really
15:28oh i want to tell you
15:29it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me
15:31thank you
15:32you're very welcome
15:33oh look
15:34your picture's gonna be in the paper
15:37gee i'll be famous
15:38everybody will see my picture
15:40mr mooney will be so proud
15:41and when i
15:42mr mooney
15:46if mr mooney sees my picture in the paper
15:48he'll know i wasn't sick
15:49oh maybe you'll get lucky and he won't read the paper
15:51no chance
15:52he reads it every morning the minute he gets in the office
15:55well you've gotta stop him from reading that paper
15:57i know what i'll do
15:58i'll hide his glasses
15:59good idea
16:00no it isn't
16:01he doesn't wear glasses
16:01i know
16:03i'll get to the office before he does
16:05and get rid of the paper
16:06would you want me to call you and wake you up
16:08don't don't worry about it
16:10i'll be awake all night
16:11if he sees that paper he'll kill me
16:13lucy the most he can do is fire you
16:16i know mr mooney he'll kill me and then fire me
16:18no
16:19no
16:22no
16:23yes
16:25hello
16:29hello
16:33hello
16:38hello
16:45Forgive me, George, it isn't exactly a lie.
17:02George!
17:15.
17:21.
17:25.
17:27.
17:28.
17:32.
17:34.
17:39.
17:39.
17:44.
17:45.
17:45Mr. Mooney's office.
17:47Oh, hi, Mary Jane.
17:50Yes, I just hid it.
17:51No, he's not here yet.
17:54Well, thanks.
17:55Yeah, I just saw it.
17:56Yeah, yeah, I thought it was a nice picture.
17:58What wrinkle?
18:00That wasn't a wrinkle.
18:02Your paper was creased.
18:04I better hang up.
18:05I hear him coming.
18:12Well?
18:12Oh, good morning, Mr. Mooney.
18:15Good morning, Mrs. Carmichael.
18:17You know, you didn't have to come to work if you're ill.
18:20Oh, I'm not sick anymore.
18:23Well, there must be something the matter with you.
18:25You're early.
18:28No, I'm fine.
18:29I just figured as long as I was off yesterday,
18:31I should come in early today and catch up on all my work.
18:35Well, that's very commendable.
18:36Very commendable.
18:38What was the matter with you?
18:39I don't know, but I'm all right now.
18:44Good.
18:51Mrs. Carmichael?
18:53Yes, Mr. Mooney?
18:54Where's my newspaper?
18:57Where's your newspaper?
19:00It isn't here.
19:01It isn't here?
19:02Where is it?
19:04Where is it?
19:07Was your mother frightened by a parrot?
19:13Now, stop repeating everything I say and help me find my newspaper.
19:17Well, please.
19:18Why don't you forget about your newspaper?
19:20Let's just get to work.
19:22No, no, I just don't feel right unless I read my morning newspaper.
19:27I want to know what's going on in the world.
19:29Well, I'll tell you.
19:30The temperature's up, the stock market is down,
19:32and little Orphan Annie's lost again.
19:35Mrs. Carmichael, will you stop being facetious
19:38and go out and buy me a newspaper?
19:40Oh, yes, sir.
19:49There are a lot of newspapers.
19:52What?
19:53Yeah, Mr. Mooney, you know you read too much anyway.
19:55What?
19:56Yeah, you're always reading.
19:57You know, the bank reports, the stock market charts,
20:00and the fine print in the mortgage papers.
20:03You're just straining your eyes.
20:04They're all bloodshot.
20:06My eyes are not bloodshot.
20:08How can you tell you're seeing them from the inside?
20:12Come on, Michael.
20:13I'm doing this for your own good, Mr. Mooney.
20:16Really, you do.
20:17You work too hard.
20:18Rest your eyes for a change.
20:20It'll do you good.
20:21Well, maybe you're right.
20:23You know, I have been getting headaches lately.
20:26I know, I know.
20:27You've been getting headaches ever since I came to work for you.
20:33Oh, true.
20:36Oh, I didn't mean it that way.
20:39I don't think that they...
20:40Mrs. Carmichael, I appreciate your concern.
20:42All right, I'll skip the newspaper this morning.
20:44Good.
20:44Now, can we get to work?
20:47Yes, sir.
20:49Lucy?
20:50Oh, hello, Lori.
20:51This picture of you is just wonderful.
20:54Goodbye, Lori.
20:55The prizes you won.
20:57Yeah, goodbye, Lori.
20:58Just a moment.
21:01What picture of you?
21:03Oh, it's nothing.
21:04Lori was just going, weren't you, Lori?
21:05She's going, but the papers say...
21:07Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
21:16Yeah, that's not my picture.
21:17Really, Mr. Mooney.
21:18See, I got red hair.
21:19Her hair is black.
21:23So you were sick yesterday.
21:26Answer me!
21:27Were you sick?
21:29No, but I am now.
21:32And you played me for a sucker.
21:35And that act you put on pretending to be sick.
21:41Oh, my hand.
21:42I got on the bed.
21:44I was going to stay.
21:46I was going to work.
21:47I was going to work.
21:48I was...
21:48And like a fool, I let you get away with it.
21:51I'm sorry, Mr. Mooney.
21:52Sorry isn't enough.
21:54To begin with, you will not be paid for yesterday.
21:56And the only reason I don't fire you
21:58is because I'm such a sweet guy.
22:01You're a sweet guy.
22:11Yes, yes.
22:12Now, you get to work.
22:13And I don't want to hear another word
22:14about your sneaky endeavors.
22:17Yes, sir.
22:17All right, Mooney.
22:18Oh, sir.
22:21Congratulations, old boy.
22:22You did it again.
22:24Oh, thank you.
22:26Mr. Cheever, sir.
22:27What did I do?
22:28Oh, playing it sly, huh?
22:31Little modest, huh?
22:34Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
22:38Oh, I tell you, this story about your secretary
22:39in the newspapers is the most wonderful publicity.
22:43And we appreciate it.
22:45That's good public relations.
22:47And it only happened because you were thoughtful enough
22:50to allow Mrs. Carmichael to take off,
22:54to go shopping.
22:54Okay.
22:58That's because he's such a sweet guy.
23:06He certainly is.
23:08Oh, shucks.
23:12But he is not the only one that can be sweet.
23:15Now, in order to show our appreciation,
23:17the bank is going to give you
23:18one full week's salary as a bonus.
23:21A full week's salary?
23:23That's right.
23:24As I'm sure you will want to show your appreciation
23:27by giving Mrs. Carmichael a week's salary
23:30out of that bonus.
23:34Of course, sir.
23:36Yes.
23:38Booney!
23:39I am proud of you.
23:43He loved his work.
23:44Gee, a whole week's salary for me.
23:54Thank you, Mr. Mooney.
23:57A half-week's salary.
23:59Mr. Cheever just says that you should give me
24:01a whole week's salary.
24:02I don't care what he said.
24:04And one more word out of you
24:06and you won't get a red cent.
24:08And you're supposed to be such a sweet guy.
24:10I am a sweet guy!
24:13And don't you forget it!
24:15No!
24:45No!