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Fun
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00:00The Lucy Show
00:11Starring Lucille Ball
00:17Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Lucy? Lucy?
00:49Yeah, I'm in here, Mary Jane.
00:51Oh, I got it.
00:52Oh, good. I'll be with you in a minute.
00:55I'm trying on my new dress.
00:56How does it look?
00:57You'll see.
01:00Oh, Lucy, it's scrumptious.
01:15You'll be the belle of the ball.
01:16Really?
01:17Every woman in that place will stare at you, Lucy.
01:20Never mind the women. How about the men?
01:24When the men see you in that dress, it'll take their breath away.
01:27Well, I hope not.
01:28If this gets me a man, I want one that's still breathing.
01:33And here's the stole I promised to lend you.
01:36Oh, it's lovely.
01:38My genuine mink.
01:40This must have cost a fortune.
01:41How could you afford this?
01:42Oh, well, I didn't buy it alone.
01:45Six of us chipped in, and we each get to use it one day a week.
01:49Oh, what does it do on the seventh day? Rest?
01:52Yes, and boy, does it need it.
01:55Well, I'm certainly lucky that your day is Saturday.
01:58No, my day is Tuesday. I switched with Mildred.
02:01Oh, Mildred's day is Saturday.
02:03No, her day is Wednesday.
02:06But Mildred switched with Roselle, whose day is Thursday.
02:10And Roselle switched with Irving.
02:14Irving?
02:15Irving's a bachelor. He uses it for date bait.
02:20Oh, baby, if you could only talk.
02:24You're sure you're going to be able to get this for me for Saturday?
02:27Oh, sure, but I have to get it over to Ella for tomorrow.
02:30But Ella has a date with Irving, so that saves us a day.
02:35But don't worry, honey. You'll get it by Saturday night.
02:38Oh, well, okay. I really want to thank you, Mary Jane.
02:41And I guess I should also thank Mildred and Roselle and Ella and Irving.
02:47I feel like I just won an Academy Award.
02:51Well, if they give an award at that affair for the most beautiful girl, you'll win it.
02:56Oh, I don't know about that.
02:58But I do want to look nice, because there's going to be a lot of very eligible bachelors there, you know.
03:04Oh, really? What's the banquet for, Lucy?
03:06Well, it's the 50th anniversary of the founding of the bank.
03:10And the guest of honor will be the president of the entire organization, Mr. Cornelius Hetherington, Jr.
03:16Oh, the name even sounds rich.
03:19Oh, he is. He's worth millions.
03:21He has two yachts. He has homes all over the world.
03:25New York, Paris, Hawaii.
03:28Well, is he married?
03:29No.
03:31That's what I call an eligible bachelor.
03:34Well, he's also 80 years old.
03:38Well, you can't have everything.
03:42Well, I could use another man in my life, but I'd prefer a little more life in my man.
03:48I'm going to get this off. I don't want to get it wrinkled.
03:51Yeah, well, I have to rush this over to Edith.
03:54Edith? Who's Edith?
03:55Oh, well, she's the sixth owner, and she's got a heavy date tonight.
03:59You know something? I envy that mink.
04:02It's dead, and it goes out more than I do.
04:09Now, you'd better remind the musicians that we expect them to be there at 7.30.
04:14The dinner starts promptly at 8.
04:15Yes, sir.
04:16Oh, be sure and check with the florist, too.
04:18Yes, sir.
04:19Now, I want you to follow through on every single detail.
04:22This is a very important affair. I don't want anything to go wrong.
04:25Now, don't you worry. Just leave everything to me.
04:27That's what worries me.
04:35Nothing will go wrong, Mr. Mooney.
04:37Well, I certainly hope not.
04:39You know, I'm so excited about this banquet.
04:41I spent two weeks' salary on a new gown.
04:45Mrs. Mooney spent three weeks' salary on a new gown.
04:49I didn't know she worked.
04:51My salary?
04:53She bought herself one of these new evening gowns with a miniskirt.
05:00Oh, how does she look?
05:02Grotesque.
05:07Well, Mr. Mooney, you can't blame her for wanting to wear the latest style.
05:12True, true, but miniskirts are not for her.
05:14No.
05:15No, no, she's much too bow-legged.
05:17If she ever straightened her legs out, she'd be seven feet tall.
05:23Well, is there anything else that you want me to take care of, sir?
05:28No, I think that covers everything.
05:31Oh, by the way, while you were out, the manager of the banquet hall called regarding the color scheme of the decoration.
05:37Oh, yes.
05:38And I told him to do everything in gold and green.
05:42Gold and green?
05:44Yes, sir.
05:44That sounds like a peculiar combination.
05:46But very appropriate.
05:48You see, I picked gold because it's the bank's golden anniversary.
05:51And I picked green because it's every banker's favorite color.
05:57Mrs. Mooney, that is entirely too obvious.
06:00Obvious?
06:01Yes, it's almost poor taste.
06:03Now, you get in touch with the banquet hall and have those colors change to pink and purple.
06:09Pink and purple?
06:13Yuck!
06:15Pink and purple happen to be my old school colors.
06:19Now, get in touch with them and have those colors change to pink.
06:22Oh, yes, sir.
06:23Mooney?
06:23Oh, yes, sir.
06:24Mooney, an emergency has come up and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to give up your lunch hour.
06:29That's quite all right, sir.
06:30Anything to help out, sir?
06:31Well, I was scheduled to pick up Mr. Hetherington at the airport.
06:34However, a crisis has arisen and I have called a meeting in my office immediately with all the important vice presidents.
06:41I'll be right in, sir.
06:42Not you.
06:44You go to the airport.
06:47Oh, and, Mooney, you better bring your secretary along, too.
06:50Mr. Hetherington might want to dictate some letters on his way from the airport.
06:53Yes, sir.
06:54Oh, and, Mooney, there's one thing more.
06:56Yes, sir.
06:56I want you to decorate the banquet hall in Mr. Hetherington's favorite school colors, gold and green.
07:03Gold?
07:06Well, I have already ordered those colors, sir.
07:10Really?
07:10Well, that was a lucky guess.
07:13Oh, it wasn't a guess, sir.
07:14When I'm given an assignment, I check things thoroughly.
07:18Nothing gets past me, sir.
07:20Well, good thinking, Mooney.
07:22Thank you, sir.
07:33Say one word.
07:44Just one word, you're fired.
07:46Flight number 234, now arriving from Honolulu at day 10.
08:07Is that it?
08:07That's it.
08:08That's Mr. Hetherington's flight.
08:09Oh, really?
08:09I'm so excited.
08:10Is my hair combed?
08:11Do I look all right?
08:12Oh, yes, you look fine.
08:12How's my lipstick?
08:13Is my lipstick on straight?
08:15Yes, you look perfect.
08:15I want to make a good impression on Mr. Hetherington.
08:18Look, he's just going to dictate to you, not propose.
08:20Well, I've never met a millionaire before.
08:22I just want to look my best.
08:24Well, a millionaire's not just like anybody else.
08:26You just treat them like normal human beings.
08:28Yeah, I know, but...
08:29That's it.
08:40That's it.
08:41Hello, hello, Mr. Hetherington.
08:43Mr. Hetherington, I'm...
08:44Mr. Mooney, I know I'm president of the bank, but a slight bow from the waist would have
08:56been sufficient.
08:59Oh, well, I'm sorry, sir, but I tripped.
09:02I'm afraid it was all my fault.
09:04And who is this charming young lady?
09:08Oh, this is my secretary, Mrs. Carmichael.
09:11Oh, how do you do, sir?
09:13I'm happy to be here.
09:14The pleasure is all mine.
09:17You have excellent taste in secretaries, Mooney.
09:20Oh, thank you, sir.
09:23I trust you had a pleasant flight, sir.
09:26Oh, fine.
09:26I charted the whole plane.
09:29The whole plane?
09:30Yep.
09:30That way I get the three stewardesses all for myself.
09:37It's the only way to fly.
09:44Mooney!
09:47Mooney!
09:50Mr. Carmichael, what happened?
09:52Oh, it's nothing.
09:52I'll be all right.
09:53Oh, good.
09:54Where's Mr. Mooney?
09:55Oh, he stepped out for a moment.
09:56He ought to be...
09:57Oh, there he is.
09:57Oh, Mooney, did you pick up Mr. Hetherington at the airport?
10:00Oh, yes, sir.
10:01Did you get him back to his hotel?
10:02Yes, sir.
10:03And he's very happy with his accommodation, sir.
10:05Well, good.
10:06Let us hope that he will be as happy with the lady you have selected for him to escort to
10:11the banquet tonight.
10:12The lady?
10:15Yes.
10:16But you didn't say anything about a lady, sir.
10:20I didn't think it was necessary.
10:22You said that when you were given an assignment, you checked things thoroughly.
10:26And if you had, you would have known that Mr. Hetherington never attends a social function
10:32unless he escorts a lady.
10:34Well, sir, I didn't think that a man of his age would be interested in the opposite sex.
10:41Mooney, he is old, not dead.
10:47Now, I expect you to provide a lady for him.
10:49Well, that shouldn't be too difficult, sir.
10:51I'm quite sure one of our charming female employees would be happy to go with him.
10:56Wouldn't you, Mrs. Carmichael?
11:01Me?
11:02Yes, you.
11:03And give me one good reason why not.
11:06I don't like it.
11:08Oh, that's a good reason.
11:11Mrs. Carmichael is too young and attractive.
11:14That's true.
11:16We can't have the president of the bank seem like a playboy.
11:20Oh, you're quite right, sir.
11:21We've got to have someone closer to his own age.
11:25Someone refined and wealthy and dignified in keeping with his position.
11:29Well, I'll do my best, sir.
11:31I promise you.
11:32I don't want promises.
11:34I want results.
11:35Yes, sir.
11:37Yes, sir.
11:38Oh, we'd better do something fast or we're in trouble.
11:42Oh, yes, we are.
11:43What do you mean, we?
11:44If anything happens to me, your job is none too secure.
11:51Now, do you know a refined, dignified, wealthy old lady?
11:56If I did, I'd have her adopt me.
11:59Mrs. Carmichael, I want help, not jokes.
12:02Well, I'd help you if I could.
12:04It's not my fault I'm too young.
12:06Yes, it is.
12:08You are late forever.
12:09Then you were even born late.
12:13If I were an old lady, I'd be very honored to go with Mr. Hetherington.
12:21Mr. Mooney, what are you thinking?
12:32If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then I don't think I like what you're thinking.
12:37All we need is a little gray hair and a makeup job.
12:41Oh, Mr. Mooney!
12:43Now, you're not going to send me on a date with that Don Juan of the Stone Age.
12:48You will make a lovely little old lady.
12:51But I can't.
12:52You can and you will.
12:56I spent two whole weeks' salary on a beautiful new dress.
13:01And now, I'm not going to get to wear it.
13:04That's not being fair.
13:05All right, all right.
13:07I'll be fair.
13:08I'll give you a choice.
13:09All right.
13:10Either you'll be an old lady, or you'll be an unemployed lady.
13:15Well, Cheever, how do I look, sir?
13:32You know, you're in wonderful condition for a man of your age.
13:42What do you mean, a man my age?
13:44Why, I'm in better shape than you are.
13:47Look at you.
13:47You look like a paunchy penguin.
13:51Hey, where's Mooney and my date?
13:52Oh, well, that'll be a long later, sir.
13:54Tell me, what kind of a gal is she?
13:57Is she pretty?
13:58Does she have a good figure?
13:59Well, I don't know.
14:00I haven't met her.
14:01However, if Mr. Mooney selected her, sir, you may rest assured that she is refined, dignified,
14:08honest, friendly, wholesome, and trustworthy.
14:13Did she get me a date or a Boy Scout?
14:17Oh, I'm sure you'll like the one that he has to...
14:20Oh, here they are.
14:21Come in, come in.
14:23Mooney, you're late.
14:24Oh, well, sir.
14:25And you're alone.
14:26Oh, no, sir.
14:27No, no, no.
14:28Oh, uh, come on.
14:32Come on.
14:32Come on.
14:34She's a little shy, sir.
14:52Mrs. Abigail Vandermeer, may I present Mr. Harrison Cheever?
14:56How do you do?
14:58Very pleased to meet you.
15:01And your escort for the evening, Mr. Cornelius Hetherington, Jr.
15:09Hello, Jr.
15:12Pleasure is all mine.
15:15Do come in.
15:16Please.
15:18Yes, sir.
15:19Oh, well, we'll sit down.
15:23Yes.
15:24Uh, sir, it's getting late.
15:30Don't you think we had best leave for the banquet?
15:32Yeah, let's...
15:33Oh, no, no, Rush.
15:35Oh, Rush, the banquet can wait.
15:36First, I think we ought to get better acquainted.
15:40Oh, that's a very good idea.
15:42I said we, not you.
15:45Yes, we'll see you later, Mooney.
15:47You too.
15:48No, but I...
15:49Go on, get, get, get, the both of you.
15:51Skedaddle.
15:54Hey, you're not fair.
15:56Start without us.
16:04Now that we're alone, we can get on with it.
16:07Get on with what?
16:08What did you have in mind, Jr.?
16:12Now we can get to know each other better.
16:16Oh, how much better?
16:18Uh, first tell me, uh, is your name Miss Vandermeer or Mrs.?
16:24Mrs.
16:25Oh.
16:28I'm a widow.
16:29Oh!
16:30Uh, tell me, are you rich?
16:34Filthy.
16:36You're the kind of a girl I've been waiting for all my life.
16:41That's a long time.
16:43Yes, sir.
16:44You know something else?
16:46I think you and I could make beautiful music together.
16:50Uh, uh, say, uh, uh, uh, uh, are you really 80 years old?
16:56Heck no, I'm 90.
16:57Hey!
17:00Well, don't you think you better cool down a little?
17:03Well, you're 90.
17:04If you cool down, the fire goes out.
17:11Let me tell you something.
17:13You better cool down, Jr.
17:15I'll put your fire out for good.
17:18I'm just trying to make conversation.
17:20Well, make it from over there.
17:21I'm not hard of hearing.
17:24You know, you're so beautiful when you get your dander up.
17:27You get my dander up any further, and I'll take away your rattle.
17:34Say, I, I got an idea.
17:36Oh, not another one.
17:38Oh, you like this one.
17:39You see, how, how about a little drinky?
17:42Oh, righty.
17:43How about a little warm milky?
17:46I was thinking of something stronger than that.
17:49How about some champagne, huh?
17:51That's too strong.
17:53The bubbles knock me down.
17:58The bubbles keep knocking me down.
18:00Oh, say, that's a dilly.
18:08Now, you keep your distance, you understand?
18:10Come on, honey.
18:11Give me a little kiss.
18:12I'm going to give you nothing.
18:14Oh, yes, you are.
18:15Oh, no, I'm not.
18:17Hey, that's not fair.
18:32You're younger than I am.
18:34You're right.
18:34Why don't you act your age?
18:37Heck, that's no fun.
18:39Yahoo!
18:40Here we go.
18:41If you don't stop chasing me out,
18:45I'm going to punish you.
18:47How?
18:48I'm going to let you catch me.
18:55Oh, I got you.
18:58You better pucker up, honey.
19:01Here I come.
19:08You're a frisky little devil.
19:12But I like him that way.
19:14Yahoo!
19:20I think you're trying to avoid me.
19:25Go and get me, buster.
19:27I'm taking your vitamins.
19:29Go and get me, buster.
19:30I still insist that was no way to treat the president of
20:00the bank. Well, maybe not, but it was the only way to treat a wolf. How much of a wolf could he be? He's over 80. That's the worst kind. He's had all those years of experience. Oh, it couldn't have been that bad. You haven't spent an evening being Yahoo now. Nevertheless, you had no right to let him go to that banquet alone. Fortunately, he hasn't complained. Yeah, well, I'm complaining. I spent two weeks salary on a beautiful new dress and I didn't even get to wear it.
20:30Mr. Mooney's office. Yes, Gladys? Mr. Hetherington's on his way in to see Mr. Mooney. Thank you, Gladys. What do you want? I hope he isn't mad. What do you want to see me for? I don't know what he wants to see you about. Oh, I hope there's no trouble. You never know what you... Oh! Mr. Hetherington's...
20:48Mooney, why can't you learn to just bow from the waist? I'm terribly sorry. Won't you sit down? No, thanks. No, thanks. I just dropped in to say goodbye. Oh? Oh, you're leaving. Yep. But I'll be back in a couple of months and I want you to get the same date for me.
21:10Same date? Yep. Same date? Yep. She was a real swinger.
21:18Well, I'll do my best, sir. Yeah, well, thanks again. Goodbye. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye.
21:28Mrs. Carmichael? Yes, sir?
21:31You make the swingin'est little old lady I can hardly wait!
21:35So, she can't wait.
21:37Yes, sir!
21:38Thank you!
21:39Thank you,장님.
21:41Thank you, yourself.
21:42victual.
21:44Who are you?
21:55They're famous!
21:57Shoot me, they're famous!
21:57Here, who are you?
21:59These ladies and gentlemen...
22:00Spears!
22:01Where are you?
22:02They're famous!
22:03Come, you feel?
22:04THE END