00:05Are you somebody who believes that we landed on the moon?
00:07Yeah.
00:07Are you somebody who believes we did not land on the moon?
00:10I'm not a conspiracy guy.
00:11Well, I personally like America, so I root for our wins to be true.
00:15Yeah.
00:16Yeah, baby.
00:17And not asterisked.
00:18Yeah.
00:18I think the people who think we didn't land on the moon are the same people who think Barry Bonds should not be in the Hall of Fame.
00:25Which he should.
00:25And Pete Rose.
00:26What's more American than baseball?
00:30Landing on the moon.
00:31I was going to say like hot dogs.
00:34Yeah.
00:34I was watching Star Wars for the first time.
00:36Did you know that planets have multiple moons?
00:39Well, that's not real.
00:41Jupiter has 70 moons or something.
00:43There you go.
00:43Could you imagine sitting on Jupiter looking out and seeing Ned moons?
00:51It's fucking nuts, man.
00:53In the late 1950s, as relations between us and the Soviet Union continued to devolve, the Russians launched the first satellite to reach orbit, which was called, any idea?
01:10Sputnik.
01:10Bingo!
01:11Yeah, I actually fucking knew that.
01:13That's it.
01:13Yep.
01:14Sometimes you just got to lead me to water a little bit.
01:16Yeah.
01:17Let the horse eat.
01:18Let the horse drink.
01:19Let the big man drink.
01:20Big Clydesdale.
01:22He's thirsty.
01:23Steaming.
01:23Let Beersley drink.
01:25Bring him, bring him.
01:25Sputnik.
01:26Old Spuddy.
01:27Slop.
01:29And his gruel.
01:31It proved that the Russians had very good space technology and by extension, probably, the ability to build powerful rockets.
01:41I feel like that's pretty legitimate for the boys.
01:43Yes.
01:44Hey, let's not let rockets come down from space and hit the boys while they're eating their morning breakfast.
01:49As insane as what you just said sounds, there was actually this belief in there being technology from space that would shoot lasers down at the countries.
02:03That was what Star Wars, I think, was.
02:06Yeah, a little red beams.
02:07Someone told me recently about this technology where they're building a gigantic mirror out in space that they can direct at a specific spot in the world.
02:17That's like Alaska.
02:18Alaska is light for certain points of the year.
02:22At like 10 p.m., it's fully light out.
02:25It does stay brighter.
02:27Yeah, that's like they got a mirror up there in Alaska.
02:31Essentially.
02:31Really, also, that's true of countries that are up towards the Arctic Circle.
02:36Some parts of Russia.
02:37Siberia.
02:38Siberia, that's what it's called.
02:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:40That's what people used to say, like, oh, we're going to send you out to Siberia.
02:44Yes.
02:45You know?
02:45Someone said that to me once.
02:47I don't know.
02:47Someone said that to you?
02:48At some point in my life.
02:50You were in trouble.
02:51Yeah.
02:521961, Kennedy very ambitiously addresses the nation and tells them, hey, we need to land a man on the moon within the decade.
03:00Okay.
03:00I could see you up in the module just eating Dippin' Dots as they float around, like a hungry hippo.
03:11Well, the only problem is up there, they don't have, like, calzones and stuff.
03:15I mean, you could microwave a calzone probably.
03:17That's the major problem up there is they don't have, like, your local sub-shops and all your favorite foods and everything.
03:25That is the big problem.
03:26It is.
03:26I know.
03:27Space.
03:27It is.
03:28So, throughout the 1960s, NASA, which is the North American Space Administration.
03:34Academy.
03:35Academy doesn't sound right.
03:36It's not a, I don't think they're teaching.
03:39Well, they are teaching, but it's not, that's not the primary purpose.
03:41They're teaching.
03:42Okay, we'll call it the Academy.
03:44They are working tirelessly to develop the technology, test all these things, and they
03:51create a, do you know what the rocket was called that went to the moon?
03:55Uh, no, I don't.
03:56Well, the first word is Apollo.
03:58Apollo 1, Apollo 13.
04:01No, not 13.
04:02Apollo 15, 11.
04:0311.
04:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:04We get the rocket, the three astronauts, any idea who they were?
04:09Armstrong.
04:11Right?
04:12Or Arm, Arm something?
04:14Isn't Lance, or not Lance, but the other guy?
04:17He's right.
04:18Neil.
04:19Neil Armstrong.
04:20That's the guy that was on the moon.
04:22And who else?
04:24I don't know, man.
04:25Buzz Aldrin.
04:27Buzz Aldrin.
04:28And then you probably won't know the third one.
04:30Ah, fuck him.
04:30Michael Collins.
04:32Ah, Phil Collins.
04:33One of the hardest parts is getting out of the Earth's orbit, because the Earth has so much
04:38gravity.
04:39And they're going like tens of thousands of miles an hour at this point.
04:41That's gotta be sick.
04:43That's gotta be freaking out, though.
04:44Yeah, but it's all relative.
04:45It is relative.
04:46For some reason, they don't feel it.
04:47Yeah, they're, you know.
04:48I don't really know the science behind that.
04:50Nobody does.
04:51Then they get into the moon's gravitational orbit.
04:59Okay.
05:00Right?
05:00Yeah.
05:00And then Michael Collins is going to, once the lunar landing module detaches, he's going
05:07to stay in the rocket orbiting the moon while they go down, make a couple sandwiches.
05:14That's fucked.
05:15That guy got fucked.
05:16I always wondered about that.
05:17Why did he get the short end of the stick?
05:19Why did he get the short straw?
05:22Why did he get the short?
05:23You know, were the other two guys better at walking?
05:25Isn't that a...
05:26Short end of the stick works, too.
05:28Is that a saying?
05:30Short straw.
05:30Picking straws.
05:31Did I make that saying up?
05:33Do something really dangerous.
05:34Short end of the stick?
05:35No, that's...
05:36That's a thing, right?
05:37That's also...
05:38Yeah, bitch.
05:39They land on the moon with only 20 seconds of fuel.
05:42Oh, shit.
05:43And then they had to refuel?
05:44It's not like there's a Texaco station on the moon.
05:47I'm sure they had their, you know, their red things.
05:50They probably had their cantinas and, you know.
05:52Oh, you think they had red gas tanks?
05:55Maybe.
05:56They probably...
05:56Could be.
05:57Could be.
05:58You never know with those ships.
05:59So now, Michael Collins is orbiting, right?
06:02Allegedly.
06:02But he doesn't know where they are.
06:04Yeah.
06:04First man to take a step on the moon is...
06:06Buzz.
06:07Buzz.
06:08And what does he say?
06:09Uh, hey.
06:11Nope.
06:13It's probably the most famous quote in the history of mankind.
06:17Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:17First, uh...
06:19First step for man or second step for mankind or something.
06:24Similar.
06:25Close enough words.
06:26One giant step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
06:33Imagine you get up there and you butcher it.
06:34I would have butchered it so bad.
06:36How would you say it?
06:37I would have said what I probably just said right now.
06:40Well, that's one small leap for me and a giant second step for all of you.
06:49No.
06:50Neil Armstrong was the one who took the first step.
06:53It wasn't Buzz.
06:54Buzz comes down second, they get some samples of the dust, they jump around, all that.
06:59Eat some cheese.
07:00They plant the flag.
07:01Eat some cheese.
07:02We win the moon landing race.
07:05We beat the Russians.
07:07Is our flag still up there?
07:08I think so.
07:09That's so sick.
07:10How many people do you think have walked on the moon at this point?
07:12People?
07:13Yeah.
07:13Didn't those girls just go?
07:15What girls?
07:16Katy Perry or something?
07:17Didn't she just go to the moon?
07:18I don't think she got all the way to the moon.
07:20I thought she hopped off.
07:21They're starting to do the commercial.
07:24Like a boat at Niagara Falls is how you're picturing that.
07:29How many days do you think that whole journey round trip took?
07:33Are we talking light days or days?
07:35What do you mean?
07:36Is space days different?
07:38I'm pretty sure space days are different than normal days.
07:40You're talking about like light years?
07:41Yeah, well, yeah, aren't days in space different than that?
07:45I think you're thinking of the movie Interstellar.
07:47No, I'm telling you.
07:48There's a certain time difference in space.
07:52I'm sure it doesn't abide by Eastern Standard Time necessarily.
07:56How many Earth days?
07:58Earth days.
07:5820?
07:59I don't know.
08:00Four.
08:00And not bad because it's pretty hot in the summer.
08:02You get up there, you can cool down a little bit.
