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#Have You Been Paying Attention
#Have You Been Paying Attention
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00:00Tonight, join Kitty Flanagan, Guy Montgomery, Ursula Carlson, Ed Cavalli and Sam Pang.
00:10As we look back on the week and ask, have you been paying attention?
00:16And now, Newsmaster General, Tom Gleisner.
00:21Good evening, great to have your company as we play TV show catch up on another busy week.
00:27It's been a big seven days of news, so we've called in five of our best to help sort through the stories.
00:32She's just come off three sold out nights in Adelaide, the always amazing Ursula Carlson.
00:39In the running next week for a most popular new talent, Logie, it's Guy Montgomery.
00:46Fresh from two sold out nights in the Blue Mountains, say hello to Kitty Flanagan.
00:53The face and unusual walking style of UWE Insurance, it's Ed Cavalli.
00:58And finally, six days from now, this man takes to the stage as host of the Logie Awards before fleeing the country.
01:07Our very own is the Sam Pang.
01:10Great to see you again Ursula and judging by this photo, you've been on holiday recently.
01:16That's right.
01:17You can see I make bold choices with my outfits.
01:19I'm fine afraid.
01:20Where are you there, Ish?
01:22This is in Vanuatu, and yeah, I've met those two ladies in my arms there, my hands.
01:28Oh.
01:29Actually, it was like you pay extra for the kids to hold these critters, and then my kids were too scared.
01:35So I'm like, I'm not here to waste money, give them.
01:39You've got to pay.
01:40And is it a chameleon?
01:41Is that what it's the only point?
01:43I don't know.
01:44Is it supposed to be...
01:45I wasn't listening, I was just paying the money.
01:47Just holding them.
01:48Yeah.
01:49Because I think they're famous for being able to blend into any background.
01:51Yeah.
01:52They're struggling with your shirt.
01:53Yes.
01:54Yeah, I could tell the one was giving up because it asked for a dart from another Australian.
01:59Hey, welcome back, Kitty.
02:01And am I right in saying you're presenting at the Logies?
02:04Yeah, I'm presenting with Edo.
02:05Edo and I are going to stay safe together.
02:06Sensational.
02:07How does that work, Kitty?
02:08Like, does Sam give you a call and say...
02:10Sam?
02:11..someone's dropped out, or...
02:12No.
02:13How does it work?
02:14I think we both know that since he started hosting the Logies,
02:16he's become a bit of a showbiz asshole.
02:18So he gets...
02:19..gets his people to call you.
02:21Okay.
02:22And they're really only calling you to lay down the law and tell you the rules.
02:24Sure.
02:25Like, no speaking unless spoken to, no eye contact with Sam.
02:28Yeah, backstage.
02:29He's called Sir or Sensei, apparently.
02:31Shh!
02:32And we have to refer to his dressing room as the dojo.
02:35Okay.
02:36It's all fairly straightforward.
02:37Apparently it's a sacred space.
02:39And, um...
02:40What?
02:41So whatever, mate.
02:42What do you...
02:43You and Edo, have you thought about what you're going to do?
02:45Or do you know what award you're presenting?
02:47Sorry, sir, I'll just put my eyes down.
02:50Yes, I believe we're presenting Best Entertainment Program.
02:53Is your show in that category?
02:56Not with the word entertainment.
02:59Is it still called presenting if you have to go out and save the night?
03:03Yeah.
03:06Just because...
03:07Kitty, you are a seasoned attendee.
03:09And I think, Guy, this is your first Logies?
03:11This will be the first time for Guy Montgomery going to the Logies, yes.
03:14Wow, very exciting.
03:15So...
03:18He's started to refer to himself in the third person.
03:22So, that's always...
03:23I didn't know you.
03:24How long have you been doing that?
03:26Guy's been panicking.
03:29Guy, you've been touring the country.
03:31You posted this amazing shot the other day.
03:33That's the Adelaide Entertainment Centre.
03:36And did you say this was the biggest crowd?
03:38Yeah, that was the biggest crowd I've ever done.
03:40I felt so proud of myself.
03:42And then when you were introducing Ursula,
03:44I heard she did that room three times.
03:48She did it.
03:49But no matter how big you get, Guy,
03:51you still find time to meet with the fans outside gigs.
03:54Look at that.
03:58Sorry, is that the same shirt you're wearing now?
04:02You're like Homer Simpson every day.
04:04The same outfit.
04:06At least I bought mine at a store.
04:07I didn't make my own.
04:10Let's play nicely.
04:11We've got a lot of questions to get through.
04:13I just want to point out too,
04:15Sam Pang's getting upset.
04:18Thank you, Sam.
04:19All right, we better get this quiz started.
04:21Hands on buzzers.
04:22And it was a big day in Canberra.
04:27What are we looking at there?
04:28The opening of Ursula?
04:29Oh, no, I thought it's, you know, when you're in your room for too long with your boyfriend and then your mum comes knocking like that.
04:36Is everyone's hands above the black hands in there?
04:40When was the last time you were in your bedroom with your boyfriend?
04:43No.
04:44In high school, but let me tell you there was no hanky-panky.
04:48All the hands were visible at all.
04:50Absolutely.
04:51All right, now we're looking at the opening of...
04:53Sam.
04:54It's the opening of Parliament, Tom.
04:55Yes, and that's the Usher of the Black Rod.
04:58A phrase best not Googled at work.
05:00To a dramatic moment in the Senate.
05:04What are we looking at there?
05:06Guy.
05:07The One Nation Senators have been distracted once again by a racist ice cream truck.
05:13Guy, you're pretty close, Ursula.
05:15No, this is like the parliamentary version of not knowing your arse from your elbow.
05:20I think we're all key.
05:21What can you give us?
05:22I think we're all making jokes about it, but it's dementia, so let's be respectful.
05:27I still don't know whether I've got an answer.
05:29One Nation Senators.
05:30What are they doing here?
05:31They were turning their back on the Welcome to Country.
05:33Yes, the Welcome to Country ceremony.
05:34That's the spirit.
05:36To be fair, Pauline was facing Mecca, so it seems...
05:41Oh, staying with politics.
05:42A Queensland Senator has been upstaged by perhaps the cutest of protesters.
05:48What cute protester interrupted Corinne Mulholland's maiden speech?
05:53Kitty.
05:54Was it Grover from Sesame Street?
05:55I'm not sure what made me think of that.
05:59Who is not a Sesame Street character.
06:00Oh, if we're making answers on what Kitty's wearing.
06:03Was it a Smurf?
06:06They're cute.
06:07This wonderful maiden speech, but it was Ursula.
06:11Or was it a baby?
06:12Her baby.
06:13Her baby.
06:15Her baby.
06:16As opposed to a baby.
06:17Is it Ursula?
06:18I will pay that.
06:19Her son, Augie.
06:20Take a look.
06:21We are butlers.
06:22People who work hard, speak straight, and don't ask for more than a fair go.
06:26Tell you what, she better not come to my show with that.
06:31Well, as a couple of seasoned stand-ups guy, Kitty, Ursula, what is your policy on crying babies at your show?
06:37As long as the baby pays full price, I don't care.
06:42Alright.
06:43This could be our phrase of the week.
06:44American beef.
06:45American beef.
06:46American beef.
06:47American beef.
06:48Moo.
06:52Why is everyone talking about American beef?
06:55Wow.
06:56Kitty.
06:57Is it Trump's username on Tinder?
06:59No.
07:00It's with an underscore in the middle, I think.
07:02God.
07:03No, I believe it's a gay reboot of American pain.
07:05Wow.
07:07That is Ursula.
07:09I just want to know, we can watch that.
07:12You have a movie night together.
07:14What's American beef in our news for?
07:16Tariffs-based, isn't it?
07:17They're exempt from?
07:18No.
07:19Not tariffs.
07:20Kitty.
07:21They're bringing it in.
07:22Yes.
07:23And if you eat it, you end up like Barnaby Joyce.
07:26Well, that's the worry that it might have mad cow.
07:28The government have lifted restrictions.
07:30We still recommend sticking with Aussie beef, of course, at all times.
07:38Donald Trump made a staggering accusation this week.
07:41Look, he's guilty.
07:42It's not a question.
07:43You know, I like to say, let's give it time.
07:47It's there.
07:48He's guilty.
07:49They...
07:50This was treason.
07:51Wow.
07:52Who's he talking about?
07:53Guy?
07:54I don't know, but I do like how he says, let's give it time.
07:57Until the end of his sentence.
08:00Sam, he's got to let this go, is it?
08:02Dr. Chris Brown leaving ten to go to seven?
08:05A little closer to Washington.
08:08He's not letting go.
08:10Guy?
08:11I do know.
08:12And it's Barack Obama?
08:14Yes.
08:15Who he's accused of being...
08:16What's the word?
08:17Sedacious.
08:18Thanks for playing.
08:19Guy, points are yours.
08:21To Peru.
08:30What did we just watch take place?
08:32Ed?
08:33The opening of Peruvian Parliament.
08:35Yes.
08:36That colour should do it.
08:37A lot more fun.
08:38Guy?
08:39No, it's a live-action imagining of the Bumblebee Man from The Simpsons, which skirts copyright
08:44law only just.
08:45Yeah.
08:46I'd love to pay that guy.
08:48Well, it is kind of a fictional character.
08:50It's a drug bust.
08:51They've got this comedy character that goes on drug bust.
08:54The chief buster is disguised as Mexican superhero Chapolin Colorado, aka the red grasshopper.
09:01Yeah, yeah.
09:02That'll be so confusing if you're so high and then that guy comes in.
09:06Yeah.
09:07And that guy comes in.
09:09You won't know what's wrong.
09:10Ed, I'll pay that a drug bust.
09:12To royal news.
09:13And the palace has marked Prince George's 12th birthday by releasing what?
09:17Guy?
09:18Prince Andrew?
09:19Run, my boy, run!
09:22I think Andrew might still be at home.
09:26Kitty?
09:27An album of John Denver covers.
09:29I'd love to pay that.
09:33Sadly, not yet.
09:34I think it's a drone strike on Megan.
09:36It's compilated to Prince George.
09:40Anyone know what they released this week to mark the happy occasion, Sam?
09:45They released a photo, but more importantly, a rare video.
09:51A rare video.
09:52Really?
09:53Sam is a staunch monarchist.
09:55A photo.
09:56Staunch monarchist.
09:57A video of these siblings.
09:58We don't often get to see them in the white.
10:00What are their names, Sam?
10:01What are they called?
10:02Well, there's Groucho.
10:05We've got to take a break.
10:07Back with more Have You Been?
10:08What more Have You Been?
10:09Right after this.
10:10Alexander and Smacksan Room.
10:11Your bel revolution has support I prefer to make great zeggen and over time long- lol.
10:13Thank you so much, Paul!
10:16We had multiple jobs on朗誌님.
10:17Welcome back.
10:18Through that Oscar andboat��, we're done.
10:19Thank you so much, too.
10:20Let's gouude on this program.
10:21We've got seven more awards.
10:23Wallace Sla conjigns a military one andæ‹¿LER.
10:25Me!
10:26The Agora gospel, anywhere in the world's first day
10:26Your hands is on Twitter.
10:28Yeah.
10:29It's all good.
10:30It's all good.
10:31Muttertacker.
10:32You know we all have.
10:33A beautiful�e-the food advice.
10:34Oh, so we as SeedERS.
10:35Thank you Vanessa and her happiness hat.
10:36Turn right.
10:37Oh, goodness.
10:38Could this be...
10:39Happily Ever After.
10:40Who gives a crap?
10:44We're back for watching Has You Been Paying Attention.
10:46Just before we return to questions,
10:48Ed Cavalli,
10:50what on earth is going on here?
10:53Yeah, right.
10:56I have the words Australia Post online retailer awards.
11:06I think the audience's response has told you we should move on.
11:10And who are you with there?
11:12That is the wonderful performer Vintage.
11:16And it was a yes guy.
11:18Who books that?
11:20I think it's pretty clear, guy.
11:22I book it myself.
11:24And yes, Samuel?
11:26Well, I'm just sure everyone's curious.
11:28Where was it held?
11:30It was held at a venue in Sydney at the ICC.
11:34And this is true.
11:36As I walked in to host the online retailer awards with Vintage,
11:40I looked up and there was a poster for Ursula
11:43doing stand-up in the same venue.
11:46With the phrase, sold out, underneath.
11:48And I thought, I'm doing okay.
11:52Her sold out meant something different than yours, though.
11:57All right, we should probably move on.
11:59Tom, before we do move on,
12:00you know you always bring up photos of everybody else.
12:03Well, I was at a friend's house recently
12:05and she had an interesting few photos of you
12:08that I would like to show now,
12:10if you can explain these from a calendar.
12:12That's impressive.
12:13As you don't say, Tom, what's going on there?
12:15Help us out.
12:16Oh, hey.
12:17You've got quite a range.
12:18Beef week, maybe?
12:19Australian beef.
12:20That's a character.
12:21That's a character I played on the ABC.
12:23Called Ivan Malat.
12:24What the hell is that?
12:25Guy and Ursula, you've probably missed this series.
12:26It was called Funky Squad.
12:27It was about some 70s cops, you know, who were hip to the street.
12:28And I played a character called Poncho.
12:30The nipples are following me around the room.
12:31The nipples are following me around the room.
12:32And the run, can we get...
12:33You've got quite a range.
12:34Beef week, maybe?
12:35That's a character.
12:36Australian beef.
12:37That's a character I played on the ABC.
12:39Called Ivan Malat.
12:40That's a character I played on the ABC.
12:41Called Ivan Malat.
12:43What the hell is that?
12:44Guy and Ursula, you probably missed this series.
12:47What is that?
12:48It was called Funky Squad.
12:50Funky Squad, it was about some 70s
12:52cops, you know, who were
12:54hip to the street, and I played a character
12:57called Poncho. The nipples are
12:58following me around the room.
13:01Can we get rid of Poncho, we need to
13:02get on with some more freshers.
13:05To some excited Coke drinkers.
13:07Oh!
13:08Oh my gosh.
13:10This is 10,000 times better.
13:13It's way more fresh, and
13:14it has more flavour.
13:16What are they talking about? Kitty?
13:18Pepsi?
13:20Probably not the message they were trying to give.
13:23Is this something about the Coke?
13:25Is this the Coke that they've changed
13:27as sugar to basically make it Mexican Coke
13:29and now they're all excited about it? Indeed.
13:31Cane sugar, Ursula, rather than corn syrup.
13:33Didn't Trump only mention that, like, last
13:35week? And it happened. And like, so like you
13:37always tell me, he gets stuff done.
13:43Ursula,
13:43point to yours. Oh, another week, another
13:45Gen Z trend. Have you heard of bathroom
13:47camping? Bathroom camping. Bathroom
13:49gumping. Bathroom
13:51camping. What is bathroom
13:53camping?
13:54Oh, Guy.
13:55It's something my dad came up with, and it just
13:57means taking a long
13:58shit.
14:02Not related to your father, Ursula.
14:04Yeah, just not enough fibre in your diet.
14:08Sam,
14:09Logie's after party.
14:10Yes.
14:11That's been so referred.
14:13They're doing it at work, aren't they? To get out of
14:16working, they just go and sit in the bathroom?
14:17If you want to, if you want to de-stress, either at work
14:19or in a social situation, you just go and sit
14:22in the toilet for a while.
14:23All right, I'm off.
14:24You know you can't leave because you're not wearing pants.
14:32Moving on.
14:33Remarkable scenes outside the Melbourne
14:35magistrate. I'm just saying outside of Melbourne
14:37court.
14:39Thank you. Go with me, Ursula.
14:40Yes, Guy.
14:41It's magistrate.
14:42Thank you, Guy.
14:42For ten points, can you spell it?
14:50M-A-G-I-S-T-R-A-T-E.
14:54That's ten points.
14:54Correct!
14:58Guy, I'll need your help again.
15:00Remarkable scenes outside the Melbourne
15:01magistrate court on Thursday.
15:09What is that gentleman's alleged offence?
15:13Uh, Guy.
15:14The drugs wearing off?
15:16No, from a criminal.
15:18What's he in court for, Sam?
15:19I don't know, but is he the sidekick of the guy in Peru?
15:23There's a super hero link there.
15:24No, this is very much an Australian.
15:27Ursula?
15:27No, I think it's graffiti or something.
15:31208 charges.
15:32Oh, is that the guy?
15:32His Pam, well, he's allegedly Pam the bird.
15:35Oh, that's cute.
15:37Leave him alone!
15:38Let him go, let him go.
15:40OK, it's time to take a stroll down the red carpet.
15:42And tonight's show, Biz Tenkman, is once again brought to you by the Mitsubishi Triton.
15:51It's Mitsubishi's most capable ute ever.
15:54Nothing can frighten a Triton.
15:56It was South Park's season premiere on Friday.
15:59Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it.
16:05Stop it there and ask, who does Trump get into bed with?
16:09Guy.
16:10It's Satan.
16:11It's so good.
16:12It's, they're doing the thing they did in their movie from 99.
16:15They did that to Saddam Hussein.
16:17And then they've done it again with this guy.
16:18It's so crack up.
16:19The word I heard was...
16:20The word I heard was Satan.
16:23Take a look.
16:24Hey, Satan.
16:26You don't want him right now.
16:31That's his micropenis, apparently.
16:34Can we get in close to it?
16:36No, you can't get in close to that.
16:37All right, that's...
16:38These people popped up on our screens last night.
16:42They're the cast of which show?
16:44Kitty?
16:46I'm going to say Master Race 2025.
16:49Yes.
16:50Not a lot of diversity there.
16:52Why?
16:52Sam?
16:53I think Kitty's close.
16:54It's a new show.
16:54It's called Farmer Wants a White.
16:58It's a little lacking in diversity.
17:00It's clearly a building show.
17:02I believe it's the reboot of Nazi Megastructures.
17:06One of our favourites.
17:08It's a building show.
17:10The points are...
17:11It'll be the block.
17:12They're all horrific couples.
17:13Block 25, I think, kicked off last night.
17:16While this is exciting, Dr Chris Brown has been announced
17:18as the host of which new Channel 7 show?
17:21Kitty?
17:22Master Race 2025.
17:26Anyone know the show?
17:27Sam?
17:28Is it a pet cemetery?
17:30It's...
17:30It's not.
17:32Again, it's a home building kind of...
17:35It's not the block, obviously.
17:37It?
17:38It's called Renault Rescue, where they try and rebuild his career.
17:41Renault's...
17:42Oh, no.
17:43My Renault...
17:44My Renault Rules.
17:45It's a...
17:45Yeah, it's like My Kitchen...
17:46Oh.
17:47My Renault Rules.
17:48I'll pay that My Renault Rules.
17:50Oh, I believe we have some special video quiz masters standing by.
17:53Hi, Tom.
17:54Hi, everyone.
17:55Dave Franco here.
17:56Alison Brie.
17:57Okay.
17:58Okay.
17:58What body parts of ours feature on the poster for our new horror movie, Together?
18:05What body parts of Dave and Alison feature on the poster?
18:09Is it nipples?
18:10Yes.
18:11I don't know why I keep thinking about nipples.
18:13It is not nipples.
18:15Sam?
18:16Perineum.
18:16Oh.
18:18Yeah.
18:18That's fun.
18:20That is fun.
18:20Just fill it.
18:21Fill it.
18:22Fill it.
18:23That is a good...
18:24No, it's...
18:25It's the perineum of the face.
18:27The lips.
18:28Oh.
18:29Oh.
18:29Oh.
18:29Oh.
18:29Oh.
18:30Oh.
18:30Oh.
18:30Oh.
18:30Oh.
18:31Oh.
18:31Oh.
18:32Oh.
18:32Oh.
18:33Oh.
18:33Oh.
18:34Oh.
18:34Oh.
18:35Oh.
18:35Oh.
18:36It's our lips.
18:37A little sticky kiss going on.
18:40Oh.
18:40Oh.
18:40Oh.
18:42Guy, points are yours.
18:43This has fans excited.
18:45What are we looking at?
18:46Yeah.
18:47Ursula.
18:47Intense inbreeding?
18:48It's...
18:49Otherwise known as Kitty.
18:52No, this is exciting.
18:53That's...
18:53I think it's...
18:55Anna, Bjorn and Benny.
18:58But Freda's not joining for that reunion.
19:01But just the three of the program.
19:02Freda took the photo, I think.
19:03Guy.
19:04No, this is the Spinal Tap sequel.
19:06Yes.
19:06Why not?
19:07It looks like they should be in your calendar.
19:09Yeah.
19:10Guy, I'll give you the points.
19:12We've got to take a break.
19:13Back to our special guest, Quizmaster.
19:14Right after.
19:23We're back.
19:23We've been paying attention.
19:25And it's time to meet our special guest, Quizmaster.
19:28She's conquered the stage, screen and even the jungle.
19:31Give it up for the always amazing Casey Donovan.
19:34Thank you, Dave.
19:37Hey, Casey.
19:39Welcome back.
19:41You've been on before and I totally forgot.
19:43I'm so sorry.
19:43That's all right.
19:43Totally fine.
19:44It happens.
19:44You are friend of the show.
19:46I am.
19:47And Channel 10 royalty.
19:48Because your TV career kind of began here, didn't it?
19:50It really did.
19:5121 years ago.
19:52Can you believe it?
19:5221 years ago.
19:53And it was, of course, Australian Idol.
19:55It was.
19:55What are your memories of those?
19:57First appearance.
19:58Not a lot.
19:59I think PTSD has kind of shot that.
20:01It's kicked in.
20:02For those who may not remember, we found this old YouTube clip of your audition.
20:07Oh, bless.
20:08You fascinate me.
20:12All the boys say that.
20:17Absolutely.
20:18Dico.
20:19And it was Mark Holden and Demo.
20:21And Marsha.
20:21Wow.
20:22Who you teaming up with shortly.
20:24And then fast forward a couple of months and you were crowned the youngest ever winner of
20:28the series.
20:28The winner of Australian Idol 2004 is Casey Donovan.
20:38Bless her.
20:39Bless her indeed.
20:41Sorry, was that young man standing next to you there in case you wanted to try and sell
20:47you a car?
20:49Well, they did win a car, so that was nice.
20:52Anthony Collier.
20:54Oh, yes.
20:54Well, how come Idol has turned out so many genuine stars and I don't think The Voice has
21:01turned out one?
21:02I'm not sure.
21:02I can't answer that.
21:04I don't know.
21:07Yes, sir?
21:08Electric.
21:11It's a good question.
21:13It's a great question.
21:15Yes, Scott?
21:15So long as we're asking sort of unknowable questions.
21:18What do you think happens to us after we die?
21:21I mean, how much time have we got?
21:25We've got about a couple of minutes.
21:27Now, outside of TV, I don't think there's a busier actor than you.
21:31We've seen you with Sister Act and Juliet Chicago.
21:33You obviously love a good stage musical.
21:35I do.
21:36I love them.
21:36They're a lot of fun.
21:37And you've just opened in a new musical called Kimberley Akimbo.
21:40I have.
21:41What's the storyline, Cassie?
21:42Oh, it is such a beautiful story.
21:44It is about Marina Pryor, who plays Kimberley in our show.
21:47And her arc is of a 16-year-old who has an ageing disease.
21:51So she's 16, but she looks around 60 to 70.
21:55I play Aunt Deborah, who's a kleptomaniac.
21:58But she loves her family and she just wants the family to do well.
22:01But it's a beautiful, heartwarming story.
22:04That is a great...
22:04I saw this on Broadway.
22:06Wow.
22:06This is an amazing musical.
22:08Isn't it amazing?
22:08And that's the best character.
22:09That's awesome.
22:10Yeah, Aunt Deb.
22:11Congratulations.
22:12She's got the stickiest hands of all.
22:13Thank you so much.
22:13Is that why you're in it too, up the back there?
22:15Yeah.
22:17Oh, yeah.
22:19Does make a brief appearance.
22:22Sam.
22:22I saw you in Sister Act and you were amazing.
22:25I just wanted that on the record.
22:27That's it?
22:28I appreciate that.
22:30That's lovely.
22:30Kitty.
22:31If we're saying nice things about Casey, I'll say this.
22:32You fascinate me.
22:36All the girls say that as well, yeah.
22:38The show involves singing, dancing and rollerblading.
22:41There's some footage here of...
22:42There she is.
22:42Wow.
22:43You're going round with...
22:44So, any mishaps?
22:46The other day I thought I snapped my vagina.
22:52Yes, Sam.
22:53Ask a follow-up question.
22:57Now, later this year you're going to be taking the stage
23:00with your Australian Idol friend and judge, Marsha Hines.
23:03It's Marsha Singh Summer.
23:05That's the...
23:05She sure does.
23:06Yeah, Donna Summer.
23:07All the songs of Donna Summer.
23:08It's going to be amazing and I'm a special guest, so...
23:10Do you get bad girls or...
23:12I've asked for Love to Love Your Baby.
23:15Oh, nice.
23:16I don't know if you know how that starts, but it's...
23:18Oh, yeah.
23:21Oh, oh.
23:23Yeah, actually, that's pretty good.
23:27Yes, Sam.
23:29Tom's used to that when he's paid money
23:31and he's just on the phone.
23:33There you go.
23:34And, uh, I think I just snapped my vagina.
23:37It does happen.
23:39It does happen.
23:40Hey, we've got some questions.
23:41We've got five people who are pretty across the news of the week.
23:45Right.
23:46Let's see whether we can get some answers.
23:47OK.
23:48Fleetwood Macs, Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham
23:51have teamed up again to do what?
23:54Ursula.
23:54They found a bag of Coke that they didn't finish.
23:58I think that's behind them now, Ursula.
24:00I think they're all pretty...
24:01Petey.
24:02Mexican Coke.
24:04Not Coke.
24:05Forget the Coke.
24:06It's an artistic endeavor, Sam.
24:08Well, I'm going to assume they're getting together to sing.
24:14God.
24:15Close.
24:16They're going to re-release audio of them singing previously.
24:20Their two-hander album.
24:21Is it called Buckingham...
24:22Buckingham Necks?
24:24Yeah.
24:24They were a folky duo back in the day.
24:25What does that mean?
24:26Oh, hang on.
24:26What does that mean?
24:27Hang on.
24:27That's...
24:28That's...
24:28That's...
24:29That's...
24:30That's got your look, mate.
24:32That's your internal look.
24:32That's got your look.
24:33It was a look.
24:34All right, next question, please.
24:35Nick Cave made headlines this week after donating 2,000 what?
24:40Ursula.
24:41Um, books.
24:42Yes.
24:42Books to a charity bookshop in the UK.
24:44Giving away books is just sort of decluttering, really, isn't it?
24:49I'm sure it's...
24:49Well, not to those people who can't afford books, Tom.
24:52I don't mix with them.
24:53Wow.
24:54Um...
24:54Yes, Scott.
24:58Well, you told me it's faster to burn them, didn't you?
25:02This is on me.
25:03I know.
25:04Sorry.
25:04I'm sorry, Casey.
25:05It's totally fine.
25:06Next question, please.
25:07This was a surprise.
25:08What 53-year-old celebrity is the cover star of Men's Fitness this month?
25:13Guy.
25:14It's someone who used to be funny, and then they got strong instead.
25:18It's Sacha Baron Cohen.
25:19Wow, editorialising.
25:21It's like the hard launch of a midlife crisis right there.
25:25Looks very stupid.
25:33Big expression, please.
25:34This raunchy concert footage has caused a stir online.
25:39Oh.
25:40Oh.
25:46Who's that performing?
25:48Kitty?
25:48I don't know, but I think she's got a broken vagina now.
25:51You may be right.
25:54Ursula.
25:55That's the opening sequence at my Adelaide show.
25:57Is that...
25:58And that's why it sells out, Ursula.
26:04Ed, who's that performing?
26:05Is that you, J-Lo?
26:07It is.
26:07Jennifer Lopez.
26:08Her ongoing Up All Night tour.
26:10Whoa, whoa, whoa.
26:10Which is her first in six years.
26:12There you go.
26:13Tell me if you need me for the next break.
26:14I'm going to be bathroom camping for you.
26:17Well, we do have to take a break.
26:20You can catch Casey and Kimberley Akimbo at the Melbourne Theatre Company until the end
26:24of August or on tour next year around the country.
26:26Would you please thank Casey Donovan?
26:28We're back and it's time to put into our business individually under the spotlight.
26:42This week, we lost one of the founding fathers of heavy metal music, the great Ozzy Osbourne.
26:47And what better way to celebrate his legacy than with this.
26:50Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy.
27:01Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy.
27:03Alright.
27:06I think it's pretty self-evident.
27:08We'll show you each a clip relating to the Prince of Darkness.
27:12All you have to do is answer a straightforward question.
27:16Guy, let's start with you.
27:17Guy, take a look at this music video from the title track of Ozzy Osbourne's third studio album.
27:40Guy, he's drunk a vial of poison.
27:43What happens next?
27:44Look like...
27:46I don't know if he's going to get sick.
27:51I think in the world of heavy metal, sick would be too obvious.
27:55Uh, what about this?
27:57So they make you think he's going to get sick.
27:59Oh.
28:00It's a trap anyone could fall into.
28:02Mr. Rack.
28:02And then he comes back and he's empowered in some sinister and evil way.
28:08Well, he changes into something.
28:10Oh.
28:11Uh, Tom Gleisner?
28:20It's, uh...
28:21I'll give you one more clue.
28:22Like, it's a fictional but scary figure.
28:25Uh, Dracula.
28:27Let's find out.
28:28It's a werewolf.
28:31So close.
28:32Yeah.
28:32I was close.
28:35You should do it with the voice.
28:36Do the voice.
28:37Ozzy's voice?
28:38Yeah.
28:38Oh, when he was in the...
28:39Oh, Sharon.
28:42Sharon.
28:42Sharon.
28:45Yes, Sam?
28:47Don't do the voice.
28:47It's from the music video, Bark at the Moon.
28:51Sorry, Guy.
28:51Can't give you the points.
28:52Kitty, the wild frontman and heavy metal pioneer, made an appearance on David Letterman's Late
28:58Night in 1982, and his onstage antics were the first topic of conversation.
29:03Now, why would you want to do that, exactly?
29:06Well, it's my hobby, you know.
29:09No, now, see, you're going to give these people the wrong...
29:11It's not really your hobby, is it?
29:13Let's have a look at your neck.
29:14No, no, no.
29:15Here, here, here, here.
29:16You see, the thing is, Colonel Saunders, how many chickens did he put to death?
29:20Did you know immediately, not having bitten into...
29:24Well, I've bitten some pretty rough chicken on the road, you know, but...
29:29I can assure you the rabies shots that I went through afterwards aren't fun.
29:35Kitty, what's Ozzy talking about?
29:36I don't know.
29:37I couldn't understand a word he said.
29:39He talks about chicken, and he mentions having to get a rabies shot.
29:43Join those dots.
29:44Was he sick?
29:47I'm going to survive this.
29:48This was legendary.
29:49Some people said it never happened, but he admitted it.
29:51It was onstage antics, and people do crazy things.
29:54Oh, oh, I know.
29:55Is it a bat?
29:56Let's see if you're correct.
29:58Let's tell them what you did.
29:59Bit the head off a bat.
30:00There, I said it.
30:01Ten points to Kitty.
30:01That's what I should have done.
30:04He bit the head off a bat at a concert in Wuhan, so that was quite...
30:08Sam, you're watching a scene from the 2019 film The Dirt about metal glam band Motley
30:25Crew, where a young Ozzy played by actor Tony Cavalero makes a brief but highly memorable
30:31cameo.
30:31Now, this is your first real tour, right?
30:33I want you to be careful.
30:35There's a life full of booze, drugs, and unprotected sex is only going to fuck you up, man.
30:42Now, give me a straw, fancy a bump.
30:49Oh, man.
30:49All right, we're all out of blow, dude.
30:51Man, we're out.
30:51I said I want a bump.
30:53Straw, please.
30:57Okay.
30:59Well, stop her there and ask Sam, according to legend, what does Ozzy snort?
31:04Well, it's not cocaine.
31:05Correct.
31:06All right, that was a very quick answer.
31:08He says he wants a bit of a bump, so I guess he wants to...
31:11I've never heard that expression before.
31:15Well, he was going out of shot, so I'm just going to say he snorted something off the ground.
31:20Yes, and that thing off the ground would be?
31:23Oh, Jesus.
31:24That's not enough.
31:25It's another living thing.
31:27Oh, I've got no idea.
31:28I seriously, I'm sorry, I can't.
31:29It's a line of them.
31:31You know, you snort a line of coke, he snorts a line of...
31:34I've never done this in all the times, but can you just pass?
31:37Well, you just did.
31:39You're going to pass?
31:40Yeah, I'm happy to pass.
31:42All right, let's find out.
31:43Can you steal?
31:44All right, Kitty, you may steal.
31:46Oh, I don't know either.
31:47I just thought someone...
31:48Now, stop it there.
31:51Let's find out what Aussie snorts.
31:55A line of ants.
31:59Okay, Ed.
32:00Yeah.
32:01One of Aussie's greatest ever hits was Paranoid with Black Sabbath, but the song had one line
32:06that many fans struggled to understand clearly.
32:09Take a listen.
32:10Can you help me?
32:13I'll give you my praise.
32:15Can you help me?
32:19Occupy my brain.
32:22Can you help me?
32:23What does Aussie want help with?
32:25Something inside my brain?
32:27Brain is the last word.
32:28Well, in fact, two words.
32:29My brain.
32:30So it's just three syllables before that, and you can have the points.
32:32Can you help me?
32:33Da, da, da.
32:34My brain.
32:35I could steal this one.
32:36Please do.
32:37I have no idea.
32:38Occupy.
32:38Oh, really?
32:39Isn't that what he was saying?
32:40Kitty has the points.
32:41Can you help me?
32:42Occupy my brain.
32:43Don't you reckon the whole show's better when you can steal?
32:50Yeah.
32:51Yeah, I agree.
32:51Well, that's in play for the rest of the show.
32:53All right.
32:54Well, give Ursula a first go.
32:56You're up next, Ursula.
32:57The Prince of Darkness and First Man of Metal took to the stage in Cincinnati in 1992 to
33:02perform the Black Sabbath anti-war protest song War Pigs.
33:06We'll stop it there and ask you, Ursula, what does Aussie throw into the crowd?
33:21Well, can I just say, I've had those eyes before.
33:23When you're sleeping with your kid and they pee in the bed.
33:25Yeah.
33:29Is it water?
33:31Is it water?
33:32Sorry, I've just peed my seat.
33:36That's right.
33:37Did you, was that your answer there, Ursula?
33:39Yeah, bucket of water.
33:41Can I steal?
33:42Yeah.
33:43Blood.
33:43No.
33:44The blood of a bat.
33:45The blood of a small child.
33:48Stop your stealing because I think Ursula may have it quite correct.
33:51Take a look.
33:52Oh.
33:54Oh.
33:54It's water.
33:56Whoa.
33:57Rock and roll.
33:57Tom, but your reaction made it seem like I might be wrong.
34:04Yeah, yeah.
34:04Well, you were...
34:05You were sending mixed signals.
34:06I was.
34:06I think that wig is giving you dementia.
34:08Take that off.
34:09And all too soon, that brings us to the end.
34:11Oh, Aussie.
34:14Aussie.
34:16Aussie.
34:16Back with more Have You Been Handled?
34:19Right after this.
34:19APPLAUSE
34:21Well, this was interesting.
34:34Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made a rare appearance in Washington, D.C.
34:39What was the appearance?
34:40Guy.
34:41Dishevelled.
34:41I think he was looking, you know, in a certain type.
34:46But he was speaking in front of...
34:49Sam.
34:49Um, Congress.
34:50Yes, yes, about China's influence in the region.
34:53Two puzzling scenes from Japan.
34:55Oh!
34:58Oh, wow.
35:00Oh.
35:03What's going on there?
35:04Guy.
35:05The opening of Japanese Parliament?
35:09The Usher?
35:10It's not The Usher, it's...
35:12It's the...
35:12Sam.
35:13No, it's a gritty Japanese remake of Winnie the Pooh.
35:17You can't...
35:19Winnie the Pooh's kind of an entry into the answer.
35:22Uh, Ursula.
35:23Are they training how to deal with bees?
35:25Yeah, they're apparently having a lot of attacks across Japan, Ursula.
35:28So that's Japanese police and...
35:30And the main technique is telling the bear to get on the ground.
35:35And then burning his happiness.
35:37Is this covering all possibilities?
35:39Points to yours, Ursula.
35:40Oh, I believe we have some video quiz masters standing by.
35:43Hey, Tom.
35:44And hi, everyone.
35:45I'm Chef Phoenix.
35:46And I'm Chef Ollie, and we're from England.
35:48And we just beat the world record for the world's largest...
35:51What?
35:52What record did Chefs Phoenix and Ollie break?
35:54The world's largest cook something up in the sky?
35:58That split screen was crazy.
36:03I thought it was one room, but that's got to be two places.
36:06They did that themselves, apparently, guys.
36:07Oh, that was weird.
36:08That's super disorienting.
36:09What is the food that they've cooked up that's the largest ever?
36:15What do you make big, do you reckon, guys?
36:17Let's work together on this one, hey?
36:20Do you think the omelette might be a meatball?
36:22Is it a dessert?
36:23No, it's an egg-based dessert.
36:26Ursula.
36:26Is it an omelette?
36:27It's not.
36:29Sam.
36:30Is it a boiled egg?
36:33Here we go.
36:34It involves a guy.
36:35It's going to be a Scotch egg.
36:36Oh, Guy, let's see if you're right.
36:38A Scotch egg.
36:40LAUGHTER
36:40Guy, what technically is a Scotch egg?
36:44What is that?
36:45It's an egg and sausage.
36:47Yeah.
36:48And it's apparently a pretty easy way to get into the Guinness World Record.
36:52Yeah, yeah.
36:54Points are yours.
36:55All right, it's time to look at all things athletic.
36:57MUSIC
36:57MUSIC
36:58Well, it was a big weekend for these fans.
37:09What event were they attending?
37:12Kitty.
37:13A Peruvian drug bust.
37:14LAUGHTER
37:15A little closer to home.
37:18Ed.
37:18Japanese lion escape training.
37:21LAUGHTER
37:21It was actually...
37:22No, this was for a game of rugby union.
37:25Mm-hm.
37:26Played between the Wallabies and the British and Irish Lions.
37:29Indeed.
37:30And the Wallabies...
37:31They lost.
37:31Yeah, they love to do that.
37:33But it was on a...
37:33LAUGHTER
37:34It was...
37:36It was on a technicality, was it?
37:37No?
37:38Well, yeah, the technicality was that the other team scored more points.
37:42LAUGHTER
37:42Points are yours.
37:44Aussie cyclist Ben O'Connor was happy.
37:46Oh, couldn't be proud.
37:48Couldn't be more proud of myself.
37:49What's he proud of?
37:51Nishala?
37:51He pulled off white bike pants and he looked phenomenal.
37:54He did.
37:55It is hard to look good.
37:57And the white light...
37:58No, what's he?
37:59He's just done something pretty impressive, Sam.
38:01Well, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that he won something.
38:06There you go.
38:07Kitty.
38:08Steal.
38:09Yes.
38:10LAUGHTER
38:11It's written on the microphone.
38:14He won the Tour de France.
38:16We might say a stage of the Tour de France.
38:18Yeah, he won a...
38:19Um...
38:19Steal.
38:20Stage.
38:20LAUGHTER
38:20I'm going to go ahead and say he won a stage at the Tour de France,
38:26as it says on the microphone.
38:28All right, Ursula, I'm going to give you the points.
38:29It was the mountain climb through the Alps.
38:32Well done, Ben.
38:33To a dramatic moment at the end of stage 17 of the Tour de France.
38:40Oh, yeah!
38:45Wow, what's the story there?
38:47Kitty.
38:48Are these guys from the local cafe
38:50and they've just had enough of the slack?
38:53Not cafe owners.
38:54They're just stopping them before they even get to the table.
38:56This was a remarkable moment.
38:58It's not what you think.
38:59Ah, Sam.
39:00That guy on the bike, now on the ground,
39:03is not a real rider.
39:04He was an invader who just jumped on the field.
39:08Ah.
39:09To a sweet moment during Greek tennis star Maria Sakari's Washington match.
39:13Good work there for Sakari.
39:15Taking care of the local wildlife.
39:17Very delicately done.
39:18What happens next?
39:20It's OK, Sam.
39:22Did you say Greek?
39:23Yes.
39:23Did she have the court concreted?
39:29She has very carefully taken the little bug to the side of the court.
39:33Yes, Sam.
39:34Did she fake a back injury and get workers' compensation?
39:37The ball boy or girl comes over and they undo all her hard work.
39:47They squash the back.
39:48Oh, my goodness.
39:49Look away now.
39:50Yes.
39:51The guy says, look away now.
39:52Indeed, we've got to take a break.
39:59That's with our winner right after this.
40:01We're back.
40:09Let's find the show out with a little Rapid Recall.
40:13And tonight's Rapid Recall is once again proudly brought to you by our very good friends at Yui.
40:18As a wise man once said...
40:19You haven't shopped around until you've tried Yui.
40:22Oh, you can't.
40:23I see the good folks at Yui have finally done something about your inability to walk normally.
40:29I don't know what you're talking about, Tom.
40:31This is their latest ad.
40:33$262 on her car insurance.
40:35That's right.
40:36That works.
40:37I think that works nicely.
40:39All right.
40:39Start that clock.
40:42Big win for beer drinkers this week.
40:44What was announced?
40:45Guy.
40:46The end of dry July and the beginning of...
40:48We're in August.
40:51I think it's a rise in prices for the beer.
40:55Why would that be a big win?
40:57They're supporting something they love.
41:00Yeah.
41:01Yeah.
41:01So you can drink more.
41:03It's sort of the opposite.
41:05Yeah, the prices are staying the same.
41:08The taxes are frozen.
41:09Taxes have been frozen for two years.
41:10Thanks, Guy.
41:10Bob Catter broke with parliamentary tradition again by refusing to do what?
41:16Kitty.
41:17To stop doing the offensive Stevie Wonder impression.
41:19That's just a casual moment.
41:23Sorry, what's he refusing to do this week?
41:26Ursula.
41:26A remake of Wiggin at Bernie?
41:30Buddy for the role.
41:31Sam.
41:32He's refusing to wear his neck to Parliament.
41:37This was at the opening of Parliament, I think, last Tuesday.
41:40One of the things they do, he doesn't do.
41:43He refused to...
41:44Ursula.
41:46Pledge to the King.
41:47Swear allegiance to King Charles.
41:49These festival goers have caused outrage in the small English village of Allington.
41:54What's the festival for a tiny kitty?
41:56Is it plain and lumpy palooza?
41:59It should be.
42:03It's got a...
42:04It's got a sexual...
42:08Oh, wow.
42:08Undertone, Ursula.
42:10Well, they are well-down attractive, so I would say a swingers club thing.
42:14Swing-a-thon 2025, Ursula, give you the points.
42:17Oh, I can see the chlamydia.
42:21For the first time in their 20-year history, F1 team Red Bull had a race weekend without
42:27what?
42:28Kitty.
42:29They fired Ginger Spice's husband.
42:32There you go.
42:33Christian Horner.
42:34Hey, Kitty.
42:35Sports question for Kitty.
42:36That's pretty nice.
42:36I don't know his name.
42:41Just Mr Spice, I call him.
42:42Mr Spice.
42:43Uber are introducing a new feature that allows women to avoid what?
42:48Sam.
42:49Is it male drivers?
42:52That's it.
42:52No jokes.
42:54Thought I saw a chance to steal, but you were having a stroke.
42:57Sam, they're trying it in the US, if you want to.
43:06If you'd had a stroke during the Aussie Osmond segment, that would have worked better, I reckon.
43:10I agree.
43:11After years of speculation, Nintendo has confirmed what about Mario and Peach's relationship?
43:17Sam.
43:18They claim that they're just good friends.
43:22No.
43:22I answer to you, where did Baby Peach come from?
43:27Thank you so much.
43:32I will play the first part.
43:33Thank you, Sam, that they are just good friends.
43:35Big announcement from Lord of the Dance.
43:37Oh, and we're out of time.
43:39Let's check that final leaderboard, and our winner is Guy Montgomery.
43:42Montgomery!
43:42Congratulations to everyone, and thanks to everyone for being part of the show tonight.
43:49We'll leave you with a reminder of the need to pay attention when showing off on morning
43:53TV.
43:54Oh, there it goes.
43:59Good night, Australia.
44:00See you all next week.
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