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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00This was a mistake!
00:05Shut up!
00:06Button?
00:15You're mad.
00:17Wow.
00:30APPLAUSE
00:37Hello!
00:38Welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:47Ten weeks of literal blood, sweat and tears
00:50and we are a short hour away from crowning, not just any clown,
00:54the King of the Clowns!
00:56What makes a champion, ladies and gentlemen?
00:58Blood?
00:59We've seen it.
01:00Sweat?
01:01All five of our contestants stink of it.
01:02Tears?
01:03Every night when he wets the bed.
01:05Sorry!
01:06We all have the ingredients for one final pie.
01:09The glory pie.
01:11LAUGHTER
01:12Please?
01:14Meet the meat that hopes to end up being its filling.
01:24They are...
01:25Fatir al-Ghuri!
01:28Jason Mandzuka!
01:30CHEERING
01:31Cathy Bainton!
01:32CHEERING
01:33Rosie Ramsey!
01:35CHEERING
01:36And Stevie Martin!
01:37CHEERING
01:38CHEERING
01:39And next to me, a man who tells me the secret to a happy marriage is simple.
01:46Respect.
01:47Making time for your personal space.
01:50And never telling your wife, Rachel, how boring all her stories are.
01:55Ooh!
01:56Ooh!
01:57Ooh!
01:58Ooh!
01:59Ooh, dear.
02:00Little Alex Horne!
02:02CHEERING
02:03Greg, it's the last episode, so I thought, it's about time we renew our vows. Don't you think?
02:13Yeah.
02:14I've written mine.
02:15Aye.
02:16Alex Horne, solemnly swear to protect you till the day one of us is dead.
02:22He's yours.
02:23I, Greg Davies, do solemnly swear to express my respect and admiration for you as often as I breathe each breath.
02:31Part two.
02:34From today onward, you and I will be one in heart, body and mind.
02:38Need so much for me, part three.
02:40Yeah.
02:42The general rule of thumb with comedy is there's only three parts.
02:45You are my sunrise and sunset.
02:50My day starts and ends with you.
02:52I'm the luckiest person alive to be standing with you today and to be facing life with you every day.
02:57That's what I feel as well. Last one.
03:00Four.
03:01The rule of four.
03:03Let us build a home, a life and a family from these bonds and promise to stick together through all life's challenges.
03:10You are my fire, my one desire.
03:12There's definitely another one.
03:13That is it.
03:14I put dot, dot, dot because that's the bit I really meant.
03:17OK.
03:18A paid employee will have printed all those out.
03:20Work experience.
03:21Yep.
03:23Time for the final prize tusk category of the series.
03:26What is it?
03:27Yes, Greg, it's an important one and that's why the category is the thing most likely to make you do a double take.
03:34Good old Greg will give five points to the thing that prompts the biggest delayed surprised reaction.
03:40At the end of the episode, the winner will double take all five things home with them.
03:44All right, then.
03:45Matthew, what have you brought in that will make me double take?
03:47It is boots in a bin.
03:49Go to the bin.
03:50Go to the bin.
03:51Go to the bin.
03:52Go to the bin.
03:53Go to the bin.
03:54Go to the bin.
03:55Go to the bin.
03:56Great.
03:57And it really does look like there's a body in there.
04:01It's a strong start.
04:03Simple.
04:04Satya.
04:05Yeah.
04:06You've made me double take all series.
04:07My thing is geysers with beards.
04:10Oh.
04:12Have you...
04:13This is crazy.
04:14Have you ever farted in front of a cat?
04:16LAUGHTER
04:18So, yeah, you know, like, if you fart in front of a cat, yeah, it goes like this.
04:32And that's what happens when I see a geyser with a beard, right?
04:35Because a lot of Muslim men grow beards.
04:37And so, is this beard for somebody that you might find attractive but who doesn't have a beard,
04:42so you can just put it right on him?
04:44No, we just couldn't find a guy with a beard that I liked.
04:47Oh.
04:48So, I said, you...
04:49LAUGHTER
04:51Excellent.
04:54So, if I've understood you correctly, you've brought a beard in because you always double take when you see a man with a beard
04:59because you find them attractive but you're hoping that that man is a Muslim.
05:02Yeah.
05:03What I haven't quite worked out is the whole farting in front of a cat.
05:07LAUGHTER
05:08Don't worry about that.
05:09Just leave that.
05:10Yeah, leave that.
05:11That's the reaction, cos you...
05:12That's what I'm like.
05:13Backstage, you said this was your best one.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:17It is.
05:18It is terrible.
05:19It is my best one.
05:20OK.
05:22Jason.
05:23Um, I bought this at a yard sale maybe 30 years ago.
05:26It has lived in the kitchen of every house or apartment that I've ever lived in.
05:30Mm-hm.
05:31And it never fails to get a double take from people when I show it to them.
05:34Pfff.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36LAUGHTER
05:38You looked back again.
05:41I looked again so I could read most meals with Dad.
05:45Oh!
05:46That's what got me.
05:47That's the double take.
05:48I'd like to think maybe someday, it's not just that I own it, but someday I'll earn it.
05:53LAUGHTER
05:55You mean you'll eat with your father more often.
05:58Wouldn't that be great?
05:59OK.
06:00It's absolutely weird.
06:02Still do.
06:03Oh, I am...
06:04I forgot mine.
06:05LAUGHTER
06:06I've been styling that whole time because I didn't want you to look at my stupid shoulder.
06:19LAUGHTER
06:21That is strong.
06:23LAUGHTER
06:24Genuinely wasn't expecting it.
06:26Did a genuine double take.
06:27Right.
06:28Rosie.
06:29I have brought a life-size interpretation of my monthly period.
06:34LAUGHTER
06:37Here she is.
06:38Here she is.
06:39LAUGHTER
06:42Look at it again, Greg, look at it again.
06:44What's your problem?
06:46Can it be a double take if you never look at a thing more than once?
06:50Take it all in.
06:51It's just nature.
06:52Yeah.
06:53Oh, and it's absolutely...
06:56..empowering.
06:58LAUGHTER
07:00Very good.
07:01Very good.
07:02The thing most likely to make you do a double take, Greg.
07:04What sort of thing most likely...
07:05OK, well, if I...
07:06This is going to ruin my potential marriage to Fatia, I think.
07:08Oh, no.
07:09Because I don't double take at men with beards.
07:11So it's one to Fatia.
07:12Again.
07:13LAUGHTER
07:14Two points to Matthews.
07:16Oh!
07:17I've seen well he's in the bin. Sorry.
07:19No, I don't want to hurt my hands.
07:21Excuse me.
07:22LAUGHTER
07:24As much as I love Meals with Dad, I'm going to give it three points.
07:28If I saw that blob thing walk past me, I would...
07:31MEGA take.
07:33And be disturbed by it.
07:35But it's her finest work.
07:36She fooled us all.
07:37I did a genuine double take.
07:39Stevie takes five points.
07:40APPLAUSE
07:41Right, let's get this party started.
07:46Give me a task proper.
07:47Yes, and what could be more apt than an emotive task
07:50involving the sands of time?
07:52And some brightly coloured boxes.
07:54MUSIC PLAYS
08:08Hello.
08:09It's nice in there, isn't it?
08:11I feel like I'm in a microwave, thanks.
08:17Cool.
08:19I'm not going to be too fast now.
08:23No?
08:24You're not going to be too fast.
08:25I'm going to take my time.
08:26OK.
08:27And be very deliberate in my thoughts and emotions.
08:30Completely fill the yellow box with sand.
08:34The yellow box with sand.
08:38Once you have touched a box,
08:40you must hold that box for the rest of the task.
08:44Once...
08:46Once you have touched a box,
08:48you must hold that box for the rest of the task.
08:51Right, well, I haven't touched any from saying that.
08:57Fastest wins.
08:58OK, so this seems to be a situation under here.
09:02I'd love you to read the last line.
09:03I would love to,
09:04but I just want to figure out how this thing works.
09:06Have you started the clock?
09:07No.
09:08Great.
09:10I'm tempted to.
09:12No.
09:13No.
09:14Your time starts...
09:15Now.
09:17APPLAUSE
09:18Stevie, what are you going to be...
09:22I think it might be a catchphrase that people could use for you going forward,
09:26so I just want to shine a light on it.
09:28You said, OK, I'm going to be very deliberate in my thoughts and emotions.
09:33LAUGHTER
09:34And they went, ha, ha, ha, on the box!
09:36LAUGHTER
09:37Right.
09:38Do you want to go through some rules?
09:40Yeah, well, you didn't need to worry about the touching till after you said,
09:42your time starts now.
09:43Don't worry about that.
09:44Fill the yellow box up with sand.
09:45If you touch a box, you've got to hold the box.
09:46First up, we're going to see fattier, rosy and sandy.
09:50Sand.
09:51We're going to see sand.
09:52LAUGHTER
09:59So how are you going to do this?
10:00Because they don't want to touch anything.
10:04Oh, bollocks!
10:06Oh, shit!
10:07You've just touched the orange one, so far.
10:09Why are you stating the obvious?
10:11Oh, shit.
10:12There's another box in here.
10:15I can just grab the sand, can't I?
10:17I'm not touching the box.
10:18Just like this.
10:19Just like this.
10:20I think you need to pick up the blue box.
10:25Stop.
10:26So...
10:33That's the big one.
10:37Oh, you're carrying that one as well, then, now?
10:39Oh, dear.
10:40Right, so you've touched all the boxes now.
10:47It says living room.
10:48Right.
10:49Do I have to go to the living room?
10:51Off we go.
10:52Can I boot the door in?
10:53Yeah.
10:56Oh, that was a bad idea!
10:59The yellow box is upside down now.
11:01Oh!
11:02Oh, there's more sand.
11:09Oh, you're taking the piss.
11:10You're taking the absolute piss.
11:12Oh, my God!
11:13Okay.
11:14Shed.
11:15Oh, my God.
11:16Oh, my God.
11:17Oh, my God.
11:18Oh, my God.
11:19Oh, my God.
11:20It's hanging in your head, is it?
11:21Yeah.
11:27Oh.
11:28What is this?
11:30Why is there all these boxes?
11:32You're wobbling it in?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Is it working?
11:35Um, no.
11:36No.
11:37Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
11:38Is it completely full of sand?
11:39I think so.
11:40There's no more sand anyway.
11:41Would you like me to stop the clock?
11:42Yeah.
11:43It's half empty.
11:44Ah.
11:45This is what we're going to do.
11:46I'm going to put that in here.
11:47Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
11:48OK.
11:49You're a prick.
11:50Is it full?
11:51Yes, it's full, bruv.
11:52I've told the clock.
11:53Congratulations.
11:54That is nice.
11:55Fr familiar with so orange?
11:57In the оем, honey, blueZeitnik up your house silicone chip.
11:59Oh, my God!
12:00With the badsy devenues, little ice.
12:01Is it completely full of sand?
12:03I think so.
12:04There's no more sand anyway.
12:05Would you like me to stop the clock?
12:07Yeah.
12:08I'm about Tradition.
12:09It's halfway.
12:11Yeah.
12:12It's halfway going to you.
12:14Ah.
12:15I think that's a good idea.
12:16Okay.
12:17I've done the clock. Congratulations, that was impressive.
12:24Actually, I didn't realise that you were Special Forces trainers.
12:29The kicking in at the door, incredible,
12:31and then I managed to keep hold of all the boxes.
12:34I lost my balance. I've got really bad balance.
12:37Yeah, I saw...
12:39You also did some great facial expressions during that.
12:42And I was amazed at just how proud you were
12:45when you put that orange box on your head.
12:48Yeah, well, I've captured it for posterity. Here it is.
12:53I suspect neither of them succeeded.
12:56Look, neither of them completely filled it with sand,
12:58but they did their best.
12:59And that's all that counts?
13:01Not normally, no.
13:03Who's next?
13:04Next up, it's two men who are prodigious actors,
13:06a skill, of course, that has no use in this task whatsoever.
13:09It's Jason and Matthew.
13:11There's not... That's not going to all be sand, is it?
13:15There's going to be a trick.
13:16Is there sand anywhere else, Alex?
13:18I don't know. I don't know.
13:24Ah, I see.
13:26This box has actually quite little sand in it.
13:28I've managed to ascertain that without touching the box yet.
13:32That's... That's a trap.
13:35You've...
13:36So flat.
13:38OK, we've got some sort of contraption here.
13:44How you doing?
13:46Where else is there sand?
13:49There's only sand in here!
13:50The thorough search has turned up in the sand.
14:03Sand!
14:09Aha!
14:13Stop the clock!
14:14I've stopped the clock.
14:15Woo!
14:17Seems full.
14:18I've stopped the clock.
14:19Great.
14:20Thank you, Alex.
14:21Thank you, Jason.
14:23APPLAUSE
14:29I mean, lovely.
14:30Very indicative of the two nations from whence you both came.
14:33Jason has unbelievable self-belief throughout.
14:36He believes everything will go right,
14:38and Matthew presumes, as is correct, that everything will go wrong
14:42and is absolutely amazed when it doesn't.
14:46LAUGHTER
14:47But pretty sharp, pretty fast.
14:48Yeah.
14:49Jason, 4 minutes 21.
14:50Matt was 1 minutes 25.
14:51Wow!
14:52Oh!
14:53Finally, the argument settled.
14:55We are better.
14:57LAUGHTER
14:59OK, break time.
15:01There are three parts left to go,
15:02so maybe try and pace yourselves with the booze for a change, yeah?
15:05Stay to you.
15:06APPLAUSE
15:07Hello!
15:08Yes, here we are.
15:09It's the Taskmaster final and it's the start of part two.
15:11That's right, and I've just had a bowl of muesli.
15:13Its fibre content helps keep my digestive system moving smoothly,
15:15preventing constipation and other digestive problems.
15:16The current task involves trying to completely fill the yellow box with sand.
15:20There's just one person left, and that person's name is still Stevie Martin.
15:21Right.
15:22Oh, I've made a terrible mistake.
15:23That's not...
15:24No.
15:25No.
15:26No.
15:27No.
15:28No.
15:29No.
15:30No.
15:31No.
15:32No.
15:33No.
15:34No.
15:35No.
15:36No.
15:37No.
15:38No.
15:39No.
15:40No.
15:41No.
15:42No.
15:43No.
15:44No.
15:45No.
15:46No.
15:47No.
15:48No.
15:49No.
15:50No.
15:51No.
15:52No.
15:53No.
15:54No.
15:55No.
15:56No.
15:57No.
16:02No.
16:03The sands outside the dome, isn't it?
16:05I've got massive hands, I forgot.
16:07Ah!
16:09Oh!
16:10Yeah, that's fine.
16:14Oh, that's fine.
16:17Yeah, it's fine.
16:30I can't walk.
16:32There has to be a better way than this.
16:37Oh, why should I move it?
16:40No, that's obviously stupid. Why would I do...
16:47Oh, what? Shed.
16:50Whoa.
16:53That's superdisc and sewing.
16:59What have you just seen?
17:00A box that says the word sand on it.
17:02Right.
17:03Are you touching another box?
17:05I'm touching all of the boxes.
17:07Great.
17:08It's got a sheet of sandpaper in it.
17:10Yeah, it says sandpaper on the box.
17:13I...
17:14can't...
17:15deal with that...
17:17now.
17:20Right, I actually need to think about where I'm going.
17:26OK.
17:28Yeah, all right.
17:33OK.
17:35Are you holding the yellow box?
17:36No, but I've got, like, a bit of a body on it.
17:42After the clock.
17:52Wasn't she promised she would be?
17:53Oh, she was so deliberate in her thoughts and her emotions.
17:55LAUGHTER
17:59But filled her box up, didn't she?
18:01Right up.
18:02It took her nearly 20 minutes, but she did.
18:04You did it in the end.
18:06Incredibly, though.
18:07You're not going to come last.
18:08Incredible.
18:09Let's get some scores out.
18:10So, first of all, there's no doubt the winner of the task is
18:12Mr Matt Bainton.
18:13He gets five points for his one minute contact.
18:18The other box fillers, Jason, you get four points in a second
18:21for four minutes, and Stevie, you took 17 and a half minutes,
18:24but you get three points, I presume.
18:26Well, cos the box was definitely full of sand.
18:28Yes.
18:29100%.
18:30But now we're into murky territory with these two, aren't we?
18:32It is such murky territory.
18:33Now, I should technically give you both nothing,
18:35but cos this is the final, I'm trying to be generous.
18:37You put that sand pot in, and that is made of sand.
18:40Yeah, well, I guess it was over the top of the box.
18:42Yeah.
18:43I'm tempted to give Fatia two points,
18:45and I feel pretty bad for you, you know,
18:47you've made a fool of yourself with that box on your edge
18:49if I didn't give you one point.
18:51Well, Rosie, one to Rosie, two to Fatia,
18:52but Matthew Bainton wins the task!
18:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:56Could you give me the scores, please?
18:58Yes, well, Fatia and Rosie are still at the bottom,
19:00but at the top with eight points, it's Stevie Martin!
19:02Ooh!
19:03Ooh!
19:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:09What are we going to do next, Alex Horne?
19:12Freeze!
19:13LAUGHTER
19:32What's all that nonsense?
19:34And my Bear Grylls making me walk through rocks?
19:37What's going on?
19:38LAUGHTER
19:39Nice place?
19:40Oh!
19:41Yeah, that is nice.
19:42It's gorgeous, isn't it?
19:43It's an inflatable.
19:44LAUGHTER
19:45It's not.
19:46OK.
19:47Freeze on your spot in the most powerful pose.
19:53It doesn't bode well that inanimate objects can't freeze on the spot.
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13Freeze on your spot in the most powerful pose in five minutes from now.
20:18I'm assuming that's my spot?
20:20It is.
20:21You must be touching two of the objects.
20:25Your time started when you acknowledged Alex.
20:28Is that it?
20:29Probably.
20:30Most powerful pose.
20:33Most powerful pose.
20:36This place is quite regal, innit?
20:38So, regal people have dogs all the time.
20:41The power over life and death?
20:43I could kill a dog.
20:45LAUGHTER
20:46From the 80s, when they used to have these round their necks,
20:50they were quite powerful people.
20:52LAUGHTER
20:53The most powerful thing in the world is obviously people who...
20:55Sometimes these are made of them.
20:57So, if I...hold this.
20:58Oh, shit!
21:00I want to stand up on these two things.
21:03Do you now?
21:04This is my dog that I take to the beach.
21:06These are my skates.
21:08So, this is my puppy, Rufus.
21:11Rufus.
21:12He's been hit by a car.
21:14Oh.
21:15But I have the power to end his life.
21:18LAUGHTER
21:19I'm going to get into a powerful position.
21:22Right?
21:23And then, like this.
21:26You're kneeling down here with your head
21:28right where the hammer would be.
21:30Ten seconds.
21:40LAUGHTER
21:41OK, Jason?
21:42Yeah?
21:43I'm just going to read the second part of the tar.
21:44Son of a bitch.
21:45LAUGHTER
21:46It says,
21:47Stay completely still in your powerful pose for the next ten minutes.
21:50LAUGHTER
21:51Police movement.
21:52When does your time start now?
21:54You understand the task?
21:55Uh-huh.
21:56This is a disaster.
21:59LAUGHTER
22:01APPLAUSE
22:07I expected Jason to show something like a man being executed
22:10as an example of power.
22:12But a puppy, Matthew?
22:13LAUGHTER
22:14Powerful, isn't it? Powerful to think of.
22:16The murder of a puppy!
22:18Putting Rufus out of his misery was the idea.
22:21LAUGHTER
22:22It is powerful.
22:23Fatih.
22:24Yeah?
22:25I must have missed the episode of Bear Grylls
22:27when he battled his way across some driveway gravel.
22:30LAUGHTER
22:32It was like running through the Himalayas, she said.
22:36Listen, that shit was deep.
22:38LAUGHTER
22:39What do you think, uh, people in the 80s...
22:42LAUGHTER
22:44What do you think powerful people did in the 80s?
22:47LAUGHTER
22:4880s.
22:49Power.
22:50Cool kids.
22:51Ah, yeah, yeah.
22:52I remember Ronald Reagan wore some skate challenges now.
22:54LAUGHTER
22:55When the Berlin Wall came down, didn't it?
22:57LAUGHTER
22:58It's not really about the powerful positions.
22:59I know.
23:00It's how still they could be in that position.
23:02You want to see how they get on?
23:03Oh, God, do I?
23:04Sometimes you just can't beat a montage of people
23:06standing about in loads of pain.
23:08Here we go.
23:09LAUGHTER
23:12How often do you want me to tell you the time?
23:14Not too often.
23:16OK.
23:17Any regrets?
23:18Mm-hm.
23:19How long has it been?
23:21It's been 34 seconds.
23:22OK.
23:23How do I not see this coming?
23:25This has got all the hallmarks of there's a second task.
23:28Nine minutes left.
23:30It's the twist in the spine I regret the most at this point.
23:33Oh, the benefit is, I could really give you a whack right now.
23:38LAUGHTER
23:39How long have I done?
23:40You're almost there, just eight minutes to go.
23:42Oh, shut up!
23:43Happy with your choice?
23:44Mm?
23:45The arm, the arm's a problem, is it?
23:47Mm.
23:48How's the knee?
23:49Not great.
23:50LAUGHTER
23:51We're at two minutes.
23:53Oh, I'm going to do three and then I'm going to...
23:56LAUGHTER
23:58LAUGHTER
24:00Can you just edit it?
24:02Yeah?
24:03Because my trainer, she's a bitch, yeah?
24:05Yeah.
24:06She'll make me do, like, 20 bench lifts.
24:07Like, just edit it.
24:09LAUGHTER
24:10This left one is wobbly.
24:14All right?
24:15Mm-mm.
24:16You're the last?
24:17Mm.
24:18Yeah.
24:19Five minutes gone.
24:21Oh, God!
24:23LAUGHTER
24:24Let me do another pose, then.
24:26Right, OK.
24:27Mm.
24:28Mm-mm.
24:29He's taking so much effort.
24:31LAUGHTER
24:32My back hurts, Jason.
24:33Your back's hurting?
24:34Uh-huh.
24:35All right, good.
24:36Lost your toes.
24:37Lost your toes?
24:38Only two little toes have gone.
24:40That's cute.
24:41Isn't it?
24:42Can you stay still?
24:43It's so boring.
24:45Fifty seconds.
24:46Ooh.
24:47Argh!
24:48Argh!
24:49Argh!
24:50Argh!
24:51Argh!
24:52Argh!
24:53Argh!
24:54Argh!
24:55Argh!
24:56Argh!
24:57Eight seconds.
25:00Oh, my word.
25:01Smosh day!
25:02Argh!
25:03Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
25:05Ow!
25:06Thank you, Matthew.
25:07Thank you, Rufus.
25:08APPLAUSE
25:09Thank you, Rufus.
25:10Thank you, Rufus.
25:11Thank you, Matthew.
25:12Thank you, Rufus.
25:13APPLAUSE
25:18Fatia, when you say you smashed it, what do you mean?
25:23Because it seems to me everyone went through hell,
25:25screaming in agony for the positions.
25:28What you did, as far as I can work out,
25:30is you called your personal trainer a bitch
25:32and you asked the team to edit it for you.
25:35LAUGHTER
25:36We did edit it quite a bit,
25:37cos you also said that Cliff Richard was a prick at one point.
25:40LAUGHTER
25:45Yeah, that was hard, man.
25:46It was hard if you did it.
25:48LAUGHTER
25:50I'm going to show you now, Jason and Matthew,
25:52their effort distilled so you can see how much they moved.
25:54Here we go.
25:55WHISTLE BLOWS
25:56WHISTLE BLOWS
25:57WHISTLE BLOWS
25:58WHISTLE BLOWS
25:59WHISTLE BLOWS
26:00WHISTLE BLOWS
26:01WHISTLE BLOWS
26:06Not bad.
26:07Matthew, seconds from crying.
26:09Did you see his face?
26:11I was in...
26:13I was in pain for days.
26:15Yeah.
26:16Jason, you just looked like you were getting tighter and tighter.
26:20Yes.
26:21Angrier and angrier.
26:23LAUGHTER
26:24I thought, oh, my God, he's going to smash Alex's head.
26:26I did!
26:27I did!
26:28I was desperate to.
26:29The longer it went, the more it seemed like the easiest solution to the task.
26:33I would have...
26:34A bit of lateral thinking.
26:36LAUGHTER
26:38I'm afraid there are just two parts of the final to go,
26:42with our five mighty competitors.
26:44But thankfully, when it does end,
26:47we'll still have each other.
26:49LAUGHTER
26:54My sweet...
26:56sweet friend.
26:58LAUGHTER
27:01APPLAUSE
27:11Hello!
27:12And welcome back to the third part of this Taskmaster final.
27:16Yes, they're trying to stay as still as possible for ten minutes
27:19in a most powerful pose while touching two objects.
27:22Least movement wins.
27:24Now, let's see how much Rosie and Stevie moved.
27:27Ooh, er...
27:28WHISTLE
27:29WHISTLE
27:30WHISTLE
27:31WHISTLE
27:32WHISTLE
27:33WHISTLE
27:34Oh...
27:35CHEERING
27:36Ten minutes.
27:38Pretty amazing.
27:40And you were actually in a difficult pose as well.
27:43LAUGHTER
27:44That classic power move.
27:45LAUGHTER
27:46I'm at the roller rink!
27:48With all my friends.
27:49LAUGHTER
27:50Really good, though.
27:51Yeah, for ten minutes.
27:52I've not got much to say.
27:53It's pretty good.
27:54Well, there is someone still to see,
27:55so you might have something to say this time.
27:57LAUGHTER
27:58They have been so still.
27:59So, so still.
28:00So still.
28:01And now, here is Fatia.
28:03WHISTLE
28:04WHISTLE
28:05WHISTLE
28:06WHISTLE
28:07WHISTLE
28:08WHISTLE
28:09WHISTLE
28:10WHISTLE
28:11APPLAUSE
28:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:17WHISTLE
28:18WHISTLE
28:19The last ten seconds she needs to do.
28:21For nine minutes, 50 seconds.
28:23LAUGHTER
28:24I know.
28:25I just...
28:26Cos when I dropped my hand, I knew it was over, innit?
28:28So I thought, let me just talk.
28:30It's not all about points, is it?
28:31LAUGHTER
28:32Don't start giving it.
28:33I'm not scared of you.
28:34If you come after me, I'll just go up in someone's driveway.
28:37LAUGHTER
28:39APPLAUSE
28:41LAUGHTER
28:43LAUGHTER
28:44Loose movement wins, Greg.
28:45One point to Fatia.
28:46OK.
28:47Yeah, I would say that Matthew's murderous character
28:50probably moved the most after Fatia.
28:52Yeah.
28:53Two points to Matthew.
28:54Probably Jason in third.
28:55Are you happy with that, Jason?
28:56I would say.
28:57Am I happy with it?
28:58Fuck no!
28:59LAUGHTER
29:00Fraser, Jason, and it's up to you.
29:02You saw how much they moved.
29:03Not a lot.
29:04I think that Stevie was clearly in such pain,
29:06and I actually think she just had the edge, so...
29:09OK, so 4.085 to Stevie Martin.
29:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:14We have a handful of points left to give this series.
29:19What have you got for me?
29:20I have got a team task, Greg,
29:22and it will hopefully involve your big three.
29:24Fast service, accurate pricing and great food.
29:28LAUGHTER
29:29MUSIC PLAYS
29:43Hello, team.
29:45Hello.
29:46This is proper nonsense, you know.
29:48LAUGHTER
29:49Hello, team.
29:50What team is it?
29:51I'd love it if you would address us by our team name.
29:54I can't remember your team name.
29:55JV Martzoukas.
29:57Yeah!
30:01Provide the best drive-through experience.
30:03Ooh.
30:04Your first customer will arrive in five minutes from now.
30:08The next five customers will arrive every two minutes after that.
30:13They are expecting fast service...
30:15Accurate pricing and great food.
30:17And great food.
30:18Your time starts now.
30:20So, what's closest...
30:22I just want to see...
30:23So, we should alternate, right?
30:24So, whoever orders...
30:25Holy shit, there's so much stuff.
30:28Are you good at cooking?
30:30I can make food.
30:31Can you count?
30:32I can...
30:33Yeah.
30:34Do you want to do the counting?
30:35OK.
30:36Let's start making...
30:37Making.
30:38Can you start making...
30:39Warm bread sandwich with butter on the outside?
30:42Yep.
30:43All right, what is it?
30:44Warm bread sandwich with butter?
30:45Oh, no.
30:46What a Pentagon.
30:47What a Pentagon.
30:48Like a 50p piece.
30:50A small flower castle with a moat.
30:53OK.
30:54Draw a Pentagon, aren't they?
30:55OK, give me that.
30:56First customer in one minute 20.
30:57Is that a Pentagon?
30:58Do you know the Pentagon in America?
30:59That's what it looks like.
31:00Do you not know it?
31:01That's the government building, isn't it?
31:02Accurate pricing and great food.
31:04Yes.
31:05Come on, then.
31:06Be nice to anyone who comes.
31:07Of course.
31:08OK.
31:09OK.
31:10Thank you very much.
31:15Well, J.B. and Marzoukas immediately seemed like a very efficient team to me.
31:19And the other team...
31:23No, I think it's the mark of a good team that one person runs around trying to address the task,
31:27while the other two debate what a shape is.
31:32Shall we kick it off, then?
31:33Yes.
31:34OK.
31:35Well, for the last time it is, Jason and Stevie first.
31:38Hello.
31:44Hello.
31:45Hi there.
31:46Hello, little boy.
31:47How are you?
31:48I'm good.
31:49I'm hungry.
31:50Great.
31:51What can I get you?
31:52I'll have some warm bread sandwich, please.
31:53OK.
31:54Cut into a...
31:55Sorry, but can I have it cut into a Pentagon shape?
31:56OK.
31:57Stevie, warm toast.
31:58Cut into a Pentagon.
31:59And fizzy milk, please, is the drink.
32:01A drizzle.
32:02A drizzle.
32:03A drizzle.
32:04A medium.
32:05I think I'm already going to have enough Sprite down.
32:07Where do I go?
32:08You're going to have to pay down here.
32:10OK.
32:11Am I following you?
32:12Yes, please.
32:13Hey, this is a great start.
32:14Can you repeat literally everything you just said?
32:16Yes.
32:17Some toast cut into a Pentagon.
32:18Yep.
32:19And a little bit of milk.
32:20Oh, hello.
32:21Pentagon.
32:22Hi.
32:23Hi there.
32:24I've ordered back there.
32:25How much do I owe you?
32:26This is just going to be...
32:27Type price.
32:28Press for drink.
32:29Main side.
32:30Press conf...
32:31What?
32:38Oh, boy.
32:39Oh, there's somebody.
32:40Son of a bitch.
32:43I need to get back in the kitchen.
32:45Please take the payment quickly.
32:47I guess...
32:48There's your ticket.
32:49Hello.
32:50Your food will be available at the window here, please.
32:53Thank you so much.
32:54Very reasonable.
32:56Sorry.
32:57Yeah.
32:58Second order coming in.
32:59Ah.
33:00Oh, hello.
33:01Hello.
33:02Welcome to the JV Martzoukas Deli.
33:03Hello.
33:04Thank you for dining at JV Martzoukas.
33:06Your pentagon of toast and your milk.
33:08We're an organisation that is dedicated to bringing delicious, sustainable...
33:11Goblet?
33:12Is it fizzy, the milk?
33:13Er...
33:14In a way.
33:15Meant to be fizzy.
33:16Locally sourced food from around the area...
33:18What the fuck?
33:19...to you and anybody else around.
33:21So how can I help you?
33:22Burnt toast and just a drizzle of milk, please.
33:25Sure.
33:28Wow.
33:29Okay, I've got...
33:30I do have to go.
33:31I've got a meeting.
33:32I'd love to tell you just a little bit about the establishment.
33:34So that's going to be $3.50.
33:36We started during peak pandemic.
33:39You're a wonderful little guy.
33:40Ah, thank you.
33:41We started out of our kitchen.
33:42That's $4.75.
33:43We're a couple.
33:44Uh, pay at the geodesic dog.
33:45We're in love.
33:46You okay?
33:47Yeah.
33:48So that was $7.74?
33:51We love making food for people.
33:52Hello.
33:53This is your burnt toast with a drizzle of milk.
33:54Here is your steamed bread, homemade confessions.
33:56Here is ten ice cubes in a little tower for you.
33:58Have a great day.
33:59Thank you very much.
34:01What you're doing is great out there.
34:02Thank you for your service.
34:03I appreciate that.
34:04Yeah.
34:05You as well.
34:06So that'll be $1.50.
34:07There you go.
34:08We thought, why not do some good for the world?
34:11We're going to need a small flower castle with a moat.
34:14Extra gluten, please.
34:15On it.
34:16I've already made it.
34:17Absolutely crushing it, baby.
34:18I'm pretty good at this.
34:19And people just loved it.
34:21Here is the flower castle with a little moat.
34:24There's extra gluten.
34:26Extra gluten?
34:27One second.
34:28I'm so sorry.
34:29They love what we're doing.
34:30So here we are.
34:31Now, what can I get you?
34:33I'm going to miss the slug out of gluten.
34:35So it's right.
34:36There's a little gluten flag for your castle.
34:37I'm going to pop that.
34:39Have a great day.
34:40Okay.
34:41Have an amazing day.
34:44Thank you for dining at JV Matsuka's.
34:47We're your family.
34:49APPLAUSE
34:54So cute.
34:55So cute.
34:56Wow.
34:57I know.
34:58I genuinely think you should go into business together.
35:01It was actually really clever of Jason, wasn't it,
35:04to start speaking absolute bullshit.
35:07Because it just slowed it all down so beautifully.
35:10So clever.
35:11We've not seen that side of you before, Jason.
35:13No.
35:14The clever side?
35:15LAUGHTER
35:16Tell him in a minute like that.
35:17Listen, asshole.
35:18LAUGHTER
35:19It was great.
35:21I loved hearing the backstory.
35:23You were so polite.
35:24My favourite line of the whole thing.
35:26And I know that you were genuinely proud of yourself
35:28when you went,
35:29I've already made it.
35:30APPLAUSE
35:37What a delight it was to be in the company
35:39of this wonderful family-run business.
35:41LAUGHTER
35:42Now...
35:43I like to be even-handed,
35:44so I'm looking forward to seeing the next one.
35:47And I don't think that it will necessarily
35:49be an absolute shit...
35:51LAUGHTER
35:53Well, we're here already.
35:55The trophy ceremony is coming, but let's not forget
35:58someone will also be strutting home
36:00with some mannequin legs in a bin
36:02and the physical manifestation of a period.
36:05You say what you want about this show,
36:07but we are classy as fuck!
36:09APPLAUSE
36:22Oh, hello!
36:24Welcome back!
36:25And here we go, the final part of the series.
36:27I know, and if I knew how to cry, I would cry.
36:30The Taskmaster drive-through is open
36:32and we've already seen J.V. Martzoukas selling their wares.
36:35Now for the team of three,
36:36who are obviously at a big advantage.
36:38They just have to control one station each,
36:40so I dread to think how much they're going to show up the other team.
36:44LAUGHTER
36:45Hi there. Can I have some warm bread sandwich, please?
36:57Of course you can.
36:58So, where's the fries, though?
37:00I feel... I wonder... I worry...
37:02I worry I shouldn't have been in here.
37:04LAUGHTER
37:05You all right?
37:06Right.
37:07I'm with the custard, shut up.
37:08What's that?
37:09OK, listen up.
37:10I need a warm bread sandwich
37:13with butter on the outside in a pentagon shape.
37:16And I also need...
37:18Hello?
37:19..fifty milk in a small size.
37:24Hello?
37:25Hello!
37:26Oh, you've got that, thank you.
37:27Where do I pay?
37:29£8.55.
37:31So you were the pentagon, erm...
37:34I'm in a bit of a hurry.
37:35Hello, sir. Hello.
37:36How can I help you, sir?
37:38Could I have a burnt toast?
37:39Yes, of course.
37:41Fast food, they said.
37:42LAUGHTER
37:45Er, so that's also...
37:47Sorry!
37:48One moment, sir.
37:49£8.55, please.
37:51Right.
37:52There's your change, sir.
37:53OK, where do I go?
37:54Erm, if you'd like to just reverse back up
37:57to the food counter, that's where the food...
37:59Well, I know that's where they're preparing the food.
38:01That's where I get it as well, is it?
38:02Where would you like it, sir?
38:03Or where they deliver it?
38:05Where would you like it?
38:06That's unless you help.
38:08OK, you're welcome.
38:09Have a good day.
38:10Bye.
38:11I'll reverse if you want me to.
38:12No, don't reverse, cos there's another customer coming.
38:13OK, this is what we need.
38:14We need a slice of burnt toast and a drizzle of milk.
38:16Where do I go?
38:17Sorry, Matthew, where do I get the food?
38:19Sorry, Matthew, where do I get the food?
38:20Oh, no, dirty milk, or just normal spill milk?
38:22Hello.
38:23Can you just head on round this?
38:24Just round there, is it?
38:25OK, right.
38:27Here you go.
38:28Enjoy your meal, sir.
38:29OK.
38:30Your toast is coming.
38:31It's just me.
38:32OK.
38:33OK.
38:34Your toast is coming.
38:35It's just me.
38:36OK.
38:37OK.
38:38OK.
38:39OK.
38:40OK.
38:41OK.
38:42OK.
38:43OK.
38:44OK.
38:45OK.
38:46OK.
38:47OK.
38:48Your toast is coming.
38:49It's just getting burnt.
38:50How's it going, guys?
38:51Thank you so much.
38:52Going well, thanks.
38:54Coming!
38:55This isn't burnt.
38:56Sorry, it's raining out here.
38:59I've got the ice.
39:00Who ordered the ice?
39:02Ah, no.
39:03Oh, that's me.
39:04OK, there you go.
39:05Thank you very much.
39:06I need one small flower castle with a mug.
39:10She's making sure the toast is nice and burnt for you.
39:14You OK?
39:15Yeah, I'm just doing this flower castle.
39:17Was it this small flower castle with a mug, sir?
39:19Yes, it was.
39:20Mark, listen.
39:21The guy's a little bit leery, innit?
39:22So, if you start giving it, just call me, I'll come round.
39:25It's 99 pieces.
39:26Perfect.
39:27There you are, sir.
39:28Thank you so much.
39:29Rosie, the guy's asking for the mug and I told him it's the size of your hand.
39:33What is a mug?
39:34Hello?
39:35How are you getting on with the burnt toast?
39:38Busy burning.
39:40That person came through ten minutes ago.
39:42What is going on?
39:43I'm going.
39:45Ah, Matthew.
39:46Is it Matthew?
39:47Is it Matthew?
39:48Good afternoon, sir.
39:49Hello again.
39:50Hello.
39:51Sorry, sir.
39:52There was another guy waiting, actually, for some burnt toast.
39:55He got quite high rate and he had to dash.
39:57I have a customer.
39:58So, I understand that actually looks like soldiers.
40:00I need these bread.
40:02I'll make confetti, small, dirty water.
40:05A small dirty water.
40:06Hello?
40:07Hello?
40:08Guys, am I doing an actual soldier?
40:10Or is it the soldiers that you dip in your dip the eggs?
40:12No, it's an actual soldier.
40:14Like, what do you mean?
40:15What does a soldier look like?
40:16Well, I guess if there's a sense of limbs.
40:18Hello!
40:19Does that look like anyone's small dirty water and steamed bread?
40:23That's it.
40:24Yeah, sorry for your weight.
40:26Guys, there's no more customers left.
40:28Do you want me to come and help you?
40:29I think they're all, um...
40:31They're all happy at the moment.
40:33I think we're going to be good.
40:35Yeah.
40:36Well done.
40:37Well done.
40:38Well done.
40:41Where do I start?
40:42I think maybe the guy on the till is a stoner?
40:45I was really frustrated that it was going to be judged
40:49on the accuracy of the pricing.
40:51It's part of it.
40:52And so I really didn't want to get the maths wrong.
40:55And I've never...
40:56So what were you doing down there?
40:57You were adding things...
40:58I was adding...
40:59Yeah.
41:00Because you seemed so still.
41:02I was trying to be deliberate in my thoughts and emotion.
41:04APPLAUSE
41:05You turning on your team from the start.
41:10And with a customer, shut up!
41:14Guy's getting a bit leery.
41:18I think if this had been further into the series, we wouldn't have put Fatio in the front facing.
41:23LAUGHTER
41:24Well, the team of three did take a lot longer because we only had two of those bicycles and we were meant to go around in a loop each time, but one of us had to use a scooter in the end because there was such a delay.
41:36LAUGHTER
41:37Average wait time of 31 seconds, team of two, average wait time of 2 minutes 41 for the team of three.
41:43What they didn't do was any prep beforehand, whereas the other team had everything...
41:46Yeah.
41:47The toast was already burning, everything was ready, whereas you were trying to burn the toast for 16 minutes.
41:50One customer left.
41:51Did you say 16 minutes?
41:53Yeah.
41:54Well, they kept popping up and you'd leave it for quite a while and pop it down.
41:56LAUGHTER
41:57The thing about us is we won't compromise on quality.
42:00LAUGHTER
42:01That is one thing we won't do.
42:03APPLAUSE
42:06Obviously, the team of two was superior. Five points to the team of two.
42:10Hmm...
42:11Four.
42:12LAUGHTER
42:14Bullshit.
42:15There's got to be more other golf than that. It was chaos.
42:18Give them three points each.
42:20OK, team of three gets three, team of two gets five points and wins the past.
42:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:26OK, everyone, this is it.
42:28Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the series!
42:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:45I hoped we'd end on something big.
42:48Who is going to read the final task?
42:50Stevie is going to read the final task.
42:52OK.
42:53Get the most carrot in your bucket.
42:56You must hold your hands behind your back at all times.
42:59You have 100 seconds.
43:01Yes.
43:02I should say the carrot in the bucket must be liberated from its string
43:05and helmet.
43:06You can't just...
43:08..lean down.
43:09Oh, so it's going to be freed in some way.
43:11It must be freed.
43:12OK.
43:13Good luck. It's the climax.
43:14WHISTLE BLOWS
43:15Oh, my God. What?
43:16LAUGHTER
43:17Oh!
43:18WHISTLE BLOWS
43:19Oh!
43:20WHISTLE BLOWS
43:24Ow!
43:25Can you...can you do this?
43:27WHISTLE BLOWS
43:28It must be liberated.
43:29Jason's done it!
43:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:32Has it got to be off the string?
43:33Yeah.
43:34It must be off the string.
43:35It must be off the string.
43:36It must be off the string.
43:37It must be off the string.
43:38Oh, of course.
43:39LAUGHTER
43:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:42WHISTLE BLOWS
43:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:47Only 53 seconds left.
44:02Whoa!
44:03Oh, God!
44:04Oh!
44:05Oh!
44:06Oh!
44:07Oh, my God!
44:08Oh, lovely!
44:1230 seconds left.
44:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:1520 seconds.
44:2020 seconds.
44:28It's got a bit of carrot in the mouth.
44:29What's going to happen now?
44:3010 seconds.
44:31Bite into it.
44:32Bite into it.
44:33Spit it out.
44:34Ah!
44:35Oh!
44:36Two!
44:37One!
44:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:40Oh!
44:41Oh!
44:42Oh!
44:43Oh!
44:44Yes!
44:45Come on, lovely!
44:46Ah!
44:47It's leaking air!
44:50LAUGHTER
44:51LAUGHTER
44:52That's the whistle gun.
44:53LAUGHTER
44:54Are we all finished?
44:55Yeah, we finished a little while ago.
44:57LAUGHTER
44:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:03Well, that's your final straws.
45:04Come down and join me.
45:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:06Exactly what we were hoping for.
45:15So, it was going to be most carrot in the bucket.
45:17It turned out to be more of a race,
45:18because Jason used his technique of mild violence this time
45:22to manage to shake off the whole carrot almost immediately.
45:24With speed and amount of carrot taking into account,
45:27Jason got the five points.
45:29Stevie, four.
45:30Matt, three.
45:31Rosie, two.
45:32And Fatia, one point.
45:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:36So, it's been a strong episode for JV Markzoukas.
45:39Jason ends up in second place with 20 points,
45:41but Stevie wins the episode with 22!
45:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:44Stevie wins the episode!
45:46These double-backs on the stage
45:49protect your things that will make you double fans!
45:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:05Wow, wow, wow.
46:07Our journey is at an end.
46:11Five entered this arena,
46:13Ready to give everything, and everything they have given.
46:16But who is about to be crowned Tusk Supremo?
46:20My faithful, featureless little sausage dog.
46:24Please reveal the final scores.
46:28OK, then, well, it's been full-on, it's been a bit much for me,
46:31but we have in last place.
46:33She was in second briefly, with 141 points,
46:36it's the Magnificent Fatihah!
46:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:42And just above her in fourth place,
46:46she was in second for most of the series,
46:47but a real slump at the end, with 149 points,
46:50it's Rosie Ramsey!
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:55And that's because one person has climbed above you by one point.
46:58He was last for nearly the entirety of the series,
47:01but Jason Mantzoukas has 150 points!
47:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:08Only two left, with 154 points.
47:11But she won this episode, in second place is Stevie Martin!
47:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:17And the winner, 15 points ahead, with 169 points.
47:23Our new Taskmaster Champion is...
47:27Matthew Bainton!
47:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:29Well, waiting longer than a minute for anything is so last year.
47:40That's why the cast reveal for the next series of Taskmaster
47:43will be coming up in 39 seconds...ish.
47:46Unfortunately, you've known Merlin to serve you while you wait.
47:49He's busy brewing the next batch of love potions for tomorrow.
47:53A new series of first dates starts at 10 here on Channel 4.
47:56Next tonight, the final two episodes of brilliant and brand-new comedy...
48:01Pushes.
48:02MUSIC
48:12.
48:13MUSIC
48:13.
48:14.
48:14.
48:15.
48:15.
48:16.
48:17.
48:18.
48:20.