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A British scientist who came to America to reveal a new rocket fuel formula hides at Max's apartment. This episode focuses on how, in the spy business, agents can be "expendable"... but who, in this episode, will that "expendable" agent be?
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00:00Flight 93 from Boston, now arriving, gate 7.
00:14Flight 93 from Boston, now arriving, gate 7.
00:20Max, why does Professor Whitaker have to transmit his rocket fuel formula to the American scientists verbally?
00:26Because, 99, the formula is so vital that the British refuse to have it transmitted any other way.
00:32There's absolutely nothing on paper. It's all in Professor Whitaker's hand.
00:35I'll bet there are a lot of countries that would like to get hold of the rocket fuel formula.
00:38You bet your sweet life there are. China, Russia, Uruguay.
00:42Max, Uruguay doesn't have any rockets.
00:44Of course they don't have any rockets, 99, but if they ever get some, they'll have the fuel for them.
00:50The chief says that British intelligence has assigned an agent named Alex Chain to protect the professor.
00:55And that the mission is considered so vital that he's listed as expendable.
01:00Flight 704 from London, now arriving at...
01:04That's their flight, Max.
01:05Flight 704 from London, now arriving at...
01:09They were supposed to meet us here, weren't they?
01:11Yes, they said they would be here.
01:13Yes, well, I...
01:14Okay, okay.
01:16Professor Whitaker?
01:17Yes?
01:17I'm Maxwell Smart.
01:18Oh, how do you do?
01:20How do you do?
01:20This is Agent 99.
01:21So nice to meet you.
01:22And this is Mr. Chain.
01:24How do you do?
01:25How do you do?
01:26Now, Professor Whitaker, if you'll be kind enough to come with us...
01:28Yes, of course.
01:29Professor Whitaker, phone call.
01:31Excuse me, please.
01:31Professor Whitaker, phone call.
01:34Excuse me.
01:38Max, look!
01:39Max, look!
02:52Good work, Thirteen.
02:59Anytime, 86.
03:01It's a lucky thing for me you were in there.
03:02I've been in here for 72 hours without a break.
03:0672 hours? You must be starved.
03:08No, but I'm dying for a smoke.
03:14Max, at this moment, America's greatest scientists are on their way here to meet with Professor Whitaker.
03:19Will our top scientist, Professor Einstock, be here?
03:22Well, I had to pull a lot of strings, but I finally convinced his employer that it was essential to the security of our nation.
03:27Who does he work for, Chief?
03:28The Wattell Toy Company.
03:30The meeting is going to be held here in this office tomorrow morning.
03:34In the meantime, to ensure Professor Whitaker's safety, I want him to stay at your apartment tonight.
03:39Oh, not my apartment again, Chief.
03:42I'm getting complaints from the landlord about the gun battles in the hall and the bombs in the lobby and the knife fights in the elevator.
03:49Oh, when you rent an apartment to a secret agent, you better expect those things.
03:52But, Chief, he doesn't know I'm a secret agent.
03:55Well, then how do you explain people attacking you and shooting at you?
03:58Well, I told him I work for the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
04:01Max, a hotel is too vulnerable.
04:03It has to be your apartment.
04:04With all those secret security devices and protective weapons, it's the only place where the Professor will be really safe.
04:09Now, Max, I want you to use all anti-kidnapping measures.
04:12Kidnapping?
04:13But they tried to kill him at the airport.
04:15No, Max, those were not conventional bullets they used.
04:18They used tranquilizer pellets.
04:19They intended to kidnap the Professor.
04:22Max, Whitaker and Chain are outside waiting for you.
04:25I want you to take them to your apartment.
04:27Now, remember, Chaos is expert in the art of kidnapping.
04:30I know, Chief.
04:31Do you remember the time that Chaos kidnapped Agent 95?
04:35They tortured him for 30 days.
04:38By the time we rescued him, he was a total loss.
04:41Why?
04:41He was ranting and raving and couldn't understand a word he said.
04:45Whatever happened to Agent 95?
04:46He went into politics.
04:49Gentlemen, Professor Whitaker has arrived safely because of the blundering of Agent Sidney here.
05:01The rest of you have never seen pictures of Professor Whitaker.
05:04I want you to examine these photographs and burn his face into your mind.
05:08Now, these are pictures of Alex Chain, British Secret Service agent assigned to guard the professor.
05:13Remember his face also.
05:16Now, before we continue with the business at hand,
05:18Agent Sidney here will give us the Chaos financial report.
05:25For the fiscal year just ended,
05:27Chaos Incorporated showed a gross income of $980 million,
05:30which, after taxes, left us a net income of $980 million.
05:39Figures speak for themselves.
05:41We've had a lousy year.
05:43Our stock is dropping rapidly.
05:45It hasn't been this low since the day Hitler died.
05:48We must kidnap Professor Whitaker
05:50and make him divulge the secret rocket formula
05:52and sell it on the open market.
05:54Otherwise, there'll be no Christmas bonus come Mussolini's birthday.
06:00Now, if you happen to find yourself looking down the barrel of a Chaos revolver,
06:05you merely ask for a last drink.
06:07Nobody could refuse to chap a request like that.
06:13Now, when you release the handle on this soda siphon,
06:18it triggers that wall lamp over there.
06:20Watch.
06:20It never misses.
06:26Yes, yes, yes.
06:28Dastardly clever.
06:29Brilliant.
06:33Sorry, sir.
06:34Are you all right, Professor?
06:35Yes, yes, yes, yes.
06:36But don't worry about me.
06:38Go ahead and answer the phone.
06:40But the phone isn't ringing.
06:42It isn't?
06:44Oh.
06:45Well, perhaps I'll call back later.
06:47Oh.
06:51Now, Professor, this is an extremely clever device in case you're taken by surprise.
06:56You merely reach over and press one of these buttons.
06:58Oh, what's it do?
06:59Well, it releases a net from the ceiling that falls and traps your assailant.
07:04Well, how ingenious.
07:05Is it this button here?
07:06No, it is not that button there.
07:10It's this button here.
07:16Now, I must warn you, Professor, never, never at any time sit in this chair.
07:21Why not?
07:22Because there is a revolver concealed in the arm of this chair.
07:26And when you sit on the cushions, it releases the trigger mechanism.
07:29Anybody standing in front of this chair will be killed instantly.
07:32Oh, dear.
07:33Well, I'm glad you told me, Mr. Smart.
07:35Is there anything else we should be acquainted with?
07:38Yes, there's one more thing, Professor.
07:39Come with me.
07:40Hmm.
07:41An invisible shield.
07:44A ceiling-to-floor, wall-to-wall plastic shield.
07:48Bulletproof, airtight, and completely invisible.
07:51Well, where is it?
07:53How does it work?
07:54It's really quite simple, Professor.
07:56It works when I sit on the edge of the desk like this.
08:02I have just lowered the invisible shield.
08:05Now, nobody on that side of the room can reach us.
08:10Bullets, poison gas, nothing that chaos can dream up can reach us.
08:14Why, you can't even see a reflection or a glare.
08:18Yes, I know, Professor.
08:19Professor, but believe me, the invisible shield is right behind you.
08:27Who moved the desk?
08:32I must personally congratulate your control scientists for creating such brilliant methods of protection.
08:38Well, thank you very much, Professor.
08:40That's very kind of you.
08:41It's quite a compliment.
08:41Yes, yes.
08:42Well, with such devices, and you and Mr. Chain to guard me, my life is 100% safe.
08:50Well, would you believe 90%?
09:07Professor Whittaker is sound asleep.
09:09Good.
09:09Well, I hope this won't be too uncomfortable for you.
09:12No, don't give it a thought.
09:13Oh, my God.
09:43What are you doing?
09:48Standard procedures in cases of joint security.
09:52One of us gets up, he'll wake the other one up.
10:00But as I remember this, you're supposed to tie one end of this to the professor.
10:07I know that, Shane.
10:09But I didn't have a piece of string long enough.
10:13Gentlemen, gentlemen, the door, there's somebody at the door.
10:30Gentlemen, there's somebody at the door.
10:35Oh, get him, get him, get him.
10:43There's somebody at the window.
10:46Oh, then who's this?
10:47It's the professor.
10:49Sorry about that, professor.
10:50Well, I guess that takes care of our late visitor.
11:09Good shooting, professor.
11:11Oh, well, thank you.
11:12From hunting grouse, you know.
11:14Well, now that they've tried and failed, I guess we can all go back to bed and get a good night's sleep, undisturbed.
11:22You're underestimating the enemy, my friend.
11:25Chaos never gives up.
11:27I give up.
11:28This just hasn't been your day, has it, Sidney?
11:30Sidney, so why do I allow you to remain with chaos?
11:34I give you opportunity after opportunity, and yet you keep failing.
11:38So why do I keep giving you another chance?
11:41Sidney, tell me why.
11:44I don't know, Uncle Boris.
11:46Sidney, pass me the boom boom box.
11:53Good, Sidney.
11:54Very good.
11:55You see, when you put your mind to it, you can do something.
12:01Gentlemen, I have placed a bomb in the living room of the apartment that will kill agents smart and chained.
12:09But Professor Whitaker, he'll be killed and we'll lose the formula.
12:12The professor is asleep in the upstairs bedroom.
12:16He'll be safe from the blast.
12:19The bomb is remotely controlled from this box.
12:25When I press that button, the bomb is activated to explode at 12 o'clock midnight.
12:32Exactly five minutes from now.
12:34The bomb is picked up.
12:38The bomb is crystal to explode at 12 o'clock midnight.
12:40Because all you know that misses the deadline are запис up.
12:41The bomb is executed at 12 o'clock midnight.
12:42I'm going to come to make it up now.
12:48That's why I willtak win.
12:58I promise you won't be brochure at 12 o'clock
12:59because all you have heard written about theủ and stuff.
13:03what's wrong now i have to put this alarm clock someplace the ticking is keeping me awake
13:12smart that clock isn't ticking it's an electric alarm clock oh then it's probably a bomb
13:20a bomb get hold of everything that ticks and throw it out the window
13:31what are you doing that was no clock that was a priceless vase oh i'm sorry about that
13:46what's going on here that's nothing professor chaos just planted a bomb in my apartment
13:51our watches quick get rid of your wrist watches
13:56it's still here it's coming from the desk it's coming from the desk it's coming from the desk
14:10it's dumbing from the kiss it's dumbing from the cask what are you talking about
14:17the bomb must be planted somewhere in the desk now let's see wait a minute that pack of cigarettes
14:28i've never seen that before that's not even my brand well it's not my brand either and i smoke
14:33a pipe well then chaos must have disguised the bomb as a pack of cigarettes why there's no telling how
14:39long it's been here it could go off any second i'd better get don't touch it don't you know that
14:45anything that portable could go off with the slightest movement i'll get a pail of water and
14:51we'll submerge it good now professor look i want you to stand right over here now i'm going to lower
14:57the invisible shield that way if the bomb goes off you'll be safe yes yes
15:01just don't sit there come on
15:10easy does it now in a moment we should have ourselves an ineffective time bomb or a pack of soggy cigarettes
15:26oh good show smart good show
15:35what kind of a crazy bomb is that it likes water get it out it might explode any minute
15:44have you ever dismantled one of these things no but i once saw one of our agents do it he was
16:01awarded a medal by the queen posthumously of course
16:05yes well i've got some tools here someplace we're gonna have to take a chance and dismantle
16:13this ourselves now i want you to get a pencil and paper and write down everything i do in case
16:20anything goes wrong the chief will want a complete report right let's see here i'm ready to start
16:28uh-huh look at this chain it has a hair trigger release and a delayed action circuit here trigger
16:46release delayed action circuit mind if i smoke are you kidding do you know how dangerous that could be
16:54oh it's all right i i don't inhale
17:01chain look there's the automatic timer it's set to go off at 12 midnight well it's almost that now
17:08we've only a few seconds left wait a minute now easy does it i've got the detonator wire right here
17:19oh in my hand the detonator wire must have pulled out when it fell on the floor oh smart that was a
17:29close one hello max i was just about to leave the office how's everything going there well chief we just
17:37had a close one chaos tried to get rid of chain and me by planting a bomb what it's okay chief we dismantled
17:44it well what about professor whitaker is he all right he's perfectly okay chief you want to talk to
17:49him yes uh professor whitaker the chief wants to talk to you uh chief i wonder if you could call back
18:00in a little while uh professor whitaker is sleeping
18:14we have failed again at this very moment professor whitaker is at control headquarters transmitting the
18:20rocket fuel formula to those u.s scientists it is now too late for kidnapping if we can't have the
18:27formula nobody else will professor whitaker must be killed but we can't get in the control headquarters
18:34to kill him then we must find a way to draw him out of the building before he completes the transmission
18:41but how how does anybody here have an answer what would make them walk out of a meeting such importance
18:48sydney sydney sydney i asked for an answer not a question wait a minute wait a minute doesn't the
19:00professor have a niece attending a private school in new england yes he does well that gentleman is our answer
19:18you've done a fine job max another few hours and our scientists will have the last of the rocket fuel
19:27formula chief have all of these men been checked out max these are the most distinguished minds in
19:34our defense department they've devoted their lives to their country each one has the nobel prize and the
19:39distinguished service medal and each is a special advisor of the president of the united states i know
19:43that 99 but can they be trusted chief what is it larry i'm sorry to disturb you but i think this is
19:49important what is it unless it's from the professor oh thank you
19:56six paragraph six excuse me professor uh this wire just came in from your niece oh cynthia is she all
20:02right oh yes she's fine but uh there's an urgency involved i thought you ought to see it right away oh
20:07thank you what is it chief the professor's niece is leaving school and eloping to mexico she's
20:13changing planes here at the washington airport and wants her uncle to meet her she'll only have a few
20:16minutes just like her mother beautiful but headstrong strange she never mentioned anyone in her letters
20:24professor under the circumstances i'm afraid i can't let you go oh but i must the duty of a guardian
20:28sometimes exceeds the duty of a scientist i could send chain or smart no no no no no this is something a
20:33girl would only discuss with her family i am sorry but i must go excuse me please no chain
20:40you stay here max you and 99 go to the airport with the professor and be careful don't worry chief
20:45we'll be all right chief i still don't trust these men i'm gonna station a couple of extra guards
20:51outside the door i want to make sure that the secret formula doesn't leave this room all right max
21:03it's just not like cynthia to do something like this you don't think it's some kind of chaos plot do
21:16you max no i don't 99 but just to make sure i better contact agent 13 right
21:20oh hi 86 what's up professor whittaker's niece is due to arrive any minute so keep your eyes open
21:36right well by the way as long as i'm here let me have a pack of cigarettes oh king size or regular
21:41regular filter or non-filter filter mentholated or plain plain domestic or imported forget it i broke the
21:48habit flight 93 from boston now arriving gate seven that's her flight yes
22:02is that her i believe so uncle harold oh yes excuse me excuse me cynthia my dear
22:18but if i had only reached him in time i see it wasn't your fault max thank you for calling me
22:41you can breathe easier he responded to the surgery he's going to live oh that's wonderful news chief
22:46but you don't understand chief he was my assignment and i failed you didn't fail max come with me
22:56and so you see gentlemen utilizing the general concept of the third dimension
23:00carried to the fourth power we find that mx squared minus g2 over the speed of light gives us the
23:09equivalent of the equivalent of the m5 quotient so whitaker taught chain the formula just in case
23:16no max whitaker never knew the formula but i don't understand chief he was a scientist
23:20no 99 chain is a scientist whitaker was the agent the expendable agent but chief that's impossible
23:27chain looks like an agent whitaker looks like a scientist that's what gave british intelligence the
23:32idea of switching their roles to make whitaker the target and it worked so that's why chain was such
23:38an unreliable agent and why whitaker was such a terrific shot yes i'm sorry we couldn't let you in
23:43on the plan max but they felt the fewer who knew it the better well i don't know chief i don't understand
23:48how british intelligence could take such a foolish chance what foolish chance well how could they
23:54believe that chaos would be stupid enough to think that a bumbling idiot like chain could be a secret
24:00agent well let's just say they've gotten used to the idea max
24:30so
24:41and
24:43I'll see you next time.
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