- 2 days ago
Today's contestants are Peter & Alex Kent from Buckinghamshire, Roy Denning & Rachel Baxter from Derbyshire & Leicestershire, Val Rennie & Paul Farley from the West Midlands, and Margaret & Tony Lockwood from Bedfordshire. Bruce Forsyth hosts and relates another nightmare to his dream girl assistant Rosemary Ford, but surprises one contestant with her own dream in the shape of Mr Motivator. Brucie is also rather mocking about one contestant's posh voice, but for some reason makes no mention of another sharing the same name as a famous Gainsborough actress (think about it). The contestants are a game bunch and among the games are Austrian Dancing, Organs of the Body (drawing on and not sticking on live models this time), Toast Master (announcing dinner guests) and I'll Be Blowed, which the dubious title refers to balloon animal making. The finale is a spoof of the Scarlet Pimpernel, where one contestant steals the show with her performance and her ad-lib has Brucie in stitches. But will they make it through to the conveyor belt of dreams?
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FunTranscript
00:00Life is the name of the game, and I want to play the game with you.
00:09Life can be terribly great, if you don't play the game with two.
00:16And I want to play the game with you.
00:19Bip, bip, hup, ho, ha!
00:23Happy Ho!
00:30Oh, what a welcome!
00:34I thank you, and I'm glad to be the ladies, gentlemen, and children.
00:40Welcome to the Generation Game. Nice to see you. To see you...
00:44Nice!
00:45Oh, but it's no good making out.
00:47You're looking at a man slowly sinking in a sea of sorrow.
00:51You're looking at a man who is in the depths of despair.
00:57Are you sure Sir Anthony Hopkins started like this?
01:00Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I've had another nightmare,
01:04and this is the worst one, the most frightening I've ever had in my life.
01:07I dreamt I was a turkey trapped in a Paxo factory.
01:13It was terrible.
01:15When I woke up this morning, I was running down the road backwards.
01:20Linda Lusardi was chasing me, with a pack and a bestow in one hand,
01:23and I can't tell you what she had in the other.
01:25But after all, what is a nightmare? It's only a dream.
01:28And what is a dream? For me, it's the young lady you're about to meet.
01:32The gorgeous, the lovely, Rosemary Forbes!
01:35The gorgeous, the lovely, Rosemary Forbes!
01:40Yes!
01:45I tell you, radiant and blooming as always.
01:49Well, I'm blooming glad to get out of the house for a few hours.
01:52What's the problem?
01:52Well, I see, I've got my gran staying with me.
01:55I think the world of her, but she's driving me mad.
01:58You know, going on about how much different things were when she was a girl.
02:02Oh, really? Well, what has she been saying?
02:04You youngsters today, you don't know how lucky you are.
02:07That's fantastic. You should do more character stuff.
02:11Bruce, it is not funny.
02:13It makes me laugh.
02:14I'm sorry, but what has she also been saying?
02:16Well, things like, when I were your age, I was much younger than you were.
02:22Exactly.
02:25Oh, yeah.
02:26Young Bruce Forsyth, he's a lovely lad.
02:29She said that?
02:30Yeah.
02:30Oh, I like the old lady. I like your gran.
02:33If he's as kind to you as he was to me when I were a lass, you're very lucky.
02:41I've gone right off her.
02:43I really have gone off her.
02:45Yeah, I think he's finished with a laugh at night.
02:48Anyway, introduce the contestants, will you?
02:50Our first team's from Buckinghamshire.
02:52Their father and daughter, Peter and Alex Kent.
02:55Right.
03:01Welcome.
03:04Welcome, welcome.
03:05Now, you are Alex Kent, and what do you do?
03:08I'm a legal searcher's assistant.
03:09Oh, a legal searcher's assistant.
03:11Where do you do this?
03:12At the local sewerage treatment works.
03:13Oh, really?
03:16Yeah.
03:16Oh, yeah, fine.
03:17Lovely.
03:18Yeah, it says here you've got a dirty laugh.
03:20Oh, yes.
03:21Oh, really?
03:21Fine.
03:22Well, it sounds as though you've got a dirty job.
03:25I believe you also have a special talent.
03:28When I have unwanted amorous advances, I used to have a bit of a talent of reciting a poem extremely fast that would make men go away.
03:36What is the poem?
03:37It's called the Ning-Nang-Nong by Spike Milligan.
03:39Oh, Spike Milligan.
03:40OK, as fast as you can.
03:41On the Ning-Nang-Nong where the cows go bong and the monkeys all say boo, there's a Nong-Nang-Ning where the trees go ping and the teapot's jibba-jabba-doo.
03:47There's a Ning-Nang-Nang where the mice go clang and you just can't catch them if they do.
03:51So, it's Ning-Nang-Nong, cows go bong, Nong-Nang-Ning, trees go ping, Nong-Nang-Nang, mice go clang.
03:55What a noisy place it is to belong is the Ning-Nang-Nang-Nang-Nang.
03:58Very good!
04:03Well, I think with your job you should call it Ning-Nang-Pong.
04:08Over now to your dad, Peter. Now, what do you do, Peter?
04:10I'm a training and quality manager for a company called People Recruitment.
04:13Oh, very good.
04:14Whilst working on a building site you had a bit of a mishap. What was that?
04:17Well, I had to use the port-a-loo, Bruce.
04:19Oh, the port-a-loo?
04:20That's right. I was in the port-a-loo and contemplating and all of a sudden I heard a chug-chug-chug.
04:25Is that what you do in the port-a-loo?
04:28Yes, it was chug-chug-chug. I heard a dumper in the distance.
04:32And the chug-chug-chug was louder, louder, louder.
04:35And all of a sudden there was a...
04:37What?
04:38And the dumper knocked the port-a-loo over with me in it.
04:41Oh, no.
04:42Upside down, looking at the sky.
04:43Oh, God, nervous.
04:45Covered in chemicals and I don't know what else.
04:47Yeah, well, we do, we do.
04:50So, you met your water-loo in a port-a-loo?
04:53I said, we did.
04:55Abbott made a... got a number two with that, didn't they?
04:58Thank you very much for being here.
05:01Pop over there, we've got some more people coming on.
05:03Nice people.
05:04Yeah, we did.
05:05Yeah, we did.
05:06Right, who have we got now?
05:09There are second teams from Derbyshire and Leicestershire.
05:12Their father and daughter, Roy Denning and Rachel Baxter.
05:15And how are you?
05:25Jolly good, that's marvellous.
05:26Now, you're Rachel...
05:28Baxter.
05:28Oh, Baxter, I love your soups.
05:31Any family pets at all?
05:32Yes, I've got a cockatiel called Robbie.
05:34Any tricks does he do?
05:35Doesn't really do any tricks, but he's not very good at flying.
05:38Oh.
05:38And he's always crushing into things.
05:39Poor soul.
05:40And once I was eating a bowl of hot tomato soup and he landed straight in it.
05:44Oh, no, dear.
05:44Burnt his feet, fluttered about like mad, and hot tomato soup everywhere.
05:48Made a mess everywhere.
05:49Oh, dear.
05:50Good job it wasn't a stew.
05:51Yeah.
05:52It would be boiled beef and parrot.
05:53No.
05:55Who?
05:57Just a thought.
05:58To myself.
05:59Right.
06:00Who would you like to meet the most?
06:02Mr. Motivator.
06:03Oh, yes, yes.
06:04GM TV.
06:05I'd love to do a workout with him.
06:06Yeah, really.
06:07I've heard about this.
06:08Now, what part of you needs working on?
06:11My bum.
06:11Your bum?
06:12Yes.
06:12Your bum.
06:12Well, I did phone him up, and he said that if you do this, you know, you'd pinch yourself in,
06:18and if you do this hundred times a day, you'll have a lovely bum.
06:22Oh, lovely.
06:23Yes.
06:24That's what he said.
06:25That's what he said.
06:25You know?
06:26Oh, great day.
06:30I can't tell you.
06:31Here he is.
06:32I can't tell you.
06:33Well, okay.
06:34Hey, listen.
06:34Here you go.
06:35Follow me, baby.
06:35Put it on for the side.
06:37Ready.
06:37Take it down.
06:37Go.
06:38Oh, ah.
06:39Oh, ah.
06:40Oh, oh.
06:41Oh, yeah.
06:41Freeze it.
06:42Go.
06:42Get it.
06:43Do it.
06:43Yeah.
06:43Oh, ah.
06:44Get it.
06:45What's all this?
06:45Here you come.
06:47Hey, what about me?
06:48What about me?
06:49Oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:50No.
06:51Oh, jeez.
06:54Gentlemen, when you come home at night,
06:56and your wife looks a bit disappointed,
06:58here's the reason why.
07:00Anyway, it was a good surprise.
07:02Yes, it was.
07:02And now you know what to do about your tush,
07:04as they say in America.
07:05Your tush.
07:06Okay.
07:06And thank you for being with us,
07:08Mr. Motivator, Derek Evans.
07:10Derek.
07:11There we are.
07:12There we are.
07:12There we are.
07:13There we are.
07:13There we are.
07:13There we are.
07:17Oh, about you, Roy.
07:19I feel so inadequate.
07:22I really do.
07:23But there we are.
07:23Now then, over to your father, Roy.
07:25Denning.
07:26What's that?
07:26Denning.
07:27Oh, welcome, my lord.
07:28What?
07:29You got very fed up with asparagus soup.
07:32It wasn't your cockatiel again, was it?
07:35Because if you'd be long to be,
07:36you'd be a cock-a-leeky by now.
07:38So, what happened with this asparagus soup?
07:40Well, when Rachel was courting,
07:42I was eating asparagus soup,
07:44and I was eating it for quite a few weeks,
07:46continuously.
07:47Yeah.
07:48And he said, he remarked,
07:50do you always eat asparagus soup?
07:52Oh, he did, yes.
07:53Yeah, he said that.
07:54And I said, yes,
07:56and I'm going to carry on eating it
07:57until you marry Rachel.
07:58Oh, you said...
07:59Four years later,
08:00we got married.
08:01And you had to keep eating...
08:02And I had to keep to me word.
08:04Oh, dear.
08:04I've never touched a drop since.
08:05I know what you mean.
08:06I've never touched a drop since.
08:08You know why he kept you waiting four years?
08:09Why?
08:10It was bachelor soup.
08:13Think about that one.
08:14Yes, you've got it.
08:16You've got it.
08:17Stay up.
08:19There you go.
08:20There you go.
08:20There you go.
08:21Lovely, lovely.
08:22There you go.
08:22There you go again.
08:23Pop over there.
08:24Nice people again.
08:25Nice people.
08:27Well, for our first game,
08:30I'd just like to remind you
08:31that our contestants have no idea
08:32what we have planned for them.
08:33They do not rehearse.
08:35This is your rehearsal.
08:37We're now ready for our first game,
08:39but first of all,
08:40have a listen to this.
08:44That can only mean
08:51it's that time of year.
08:53And once again,
08:53our good friends from Austria
08:55have come to see us.
08:57Trachtengrupper Schrund.
08:58applause
10:30And if you'll get the other side over there, they'll sort of get hold of you and tell you exactly what you want to do.
10:35OK, are you ready?
10:37We have Shrun's Take Two.
10:39Very good.
10:58Very good.
11:00Now, come over here.
11:02Now, you come and sit here, my darling.
11:04You come and sit just a bit lower this one.
11:06Now, wait for the jump, you see.
11:08Are you ready?
11:09Off we go.
11:10Jump.
11:20Jump.
11:25Jump.
11:30Jump.
11:30That's it, good. That's it, go, let's go.
11:32Come on, look.
11:39That's it, good.
11:41There we are, well done.
11:43Oh, wonderful.
11:47Wait over there for you, Will.
11:49Only time for second couple.
11:52A little space for you here, a little space for you there.
11:54You'll be doing... Over there.
11:56Are we ready? Okay, ready now for Shroon's Take 3.
12:00Oh, dear. Are you all right, George?
12:20What was that all about?
12:23You're supposed to be supporting me.
12:25Come over here. Come over here.
12:27You this time, my darling, because it's a bit lower, this one.
12:29I'm fine. I don't know how he's going to get on with this bit.
12:33You're going to be all right.
12:35Okay, music. Away we go.
12:41Jump, jump.
12:45Jump.
12:47Go, good.
12:50Jump.
12:51Good.
12:52Come on, keep moving, keep moving, keep moving, keep moving.
13:00Come on.
13:06There he goes, there he goes.
13:09Okay.
13:10Right.
13:11Could we have the other cup, is that?
13:14Yeah, come in here with me.
13:15Do you remember last year, we surprised the men with this?
13:19Would you mind?
13:22Oh!
13:30Hey, how about that?
13:37Well, ladies, this year it's your turn.
13:40No, we wouldn't do that to you, but have a look at this, okay?
13:46Just have a look at this in the middle.
13:59Very good.
14:00How about that?
14:02All right?
14:04Here you come, ladies.
14:05There you go.
14:06Just put your hand on your hip and they'll grab wherever they want to grab.
14:13Right, the duffel shpinga.
14:24Oh!
14:27Oh!
14:28How are you doing?
14:34Come here, my lad.
14:36All right.
14:39And, uh, welcome to Gatwick.
14:43Thank you once again, Tracton, Grupper Schruns, and your wonderful orchestra.
14:49Thank you so much.
14:55So, will you please welcome now the leader of this wonderful Austrian group,
15:00Christian Fiel, and his interpreter, Ingrid Uttar.
15:04Yes, sir.
15:05Yes, sir.
15:05That's why my mojo is doing, you're doing it.
15:07I'm going to go.
15:08That's it.
15:09You're going to go.
15:10Michael, I'll put them on the wrong side.
15:12Oh, sorry, Christian.
15:14Merlin, you come from this village of, uh, uh,
15:17Von Schruns.
15:18Von Schruns?
15:19Is it a little village, or is it a big village, or what was it called?
15:22Ah, I forgot if it's a small village or a big village.
15:25We have 3,800 inhabitants.
15:27Ah, that's a small village.
15:291,800 inhabitants.
15:31Ah, turn right when you get to Salzburg.
15:33Yes, I know what you mean.
15:35Fine. Now, what did you think of him?
15:37Yes, it was so, that the ladies were absolutely perfect.
15:41There was a difference between the gentlemen.
15:43Aaron?
15:44We have decided...
15:45Yeah, cheating.
15:46You would cheat on them.
15:49I knew, I wondered whether you noticed that.
15:52Both of the ladies are really excellent dancers.
15:55The men have to rehearse a little bit more.
15:58Yes, we know what you mean.
16:00But anyway, 18 points each.
16:02I think that's fair.
16:03I think that's fair.
16:04That's very good if you've come to do.
16:06Lovely, lovely.
16:08Thank you very much, Christian and Ingrid.
16:12Here we are.
16:13Off you go down here.
16:14That'll be right now.
16:15Fine, fine.
16:17Welcome the board, Miss Ford.
16:20Peter and Alex have 18.
16:22Rachel and Roy also have 18.
16:24Ah, there we are.
16:25Right.
16:26Come and sit over here with me.
16:28OK, I'm going to come with you.
16:29OK.
16:30Sit yourself down where you were before.
16:32OK.
16:33Now, although this is not our request show,
16:38we did have so many requests for this next game, which is called Organs of the Body.
16:43OK.
16:44Now, can we have our models, please?
16:47There we are.
16:48Yes.
16:49Here are the bodies.
16:50But you may well ask, where are the organs?
16:53But, now I don't remember posing for any of these.
16:56That's the trouble.
16:59I'm going to name an organ of the body.
17:02And you have to draw where you think it is and the correct size.
17:06How big or small it is.
17:08Please, please.
17:11Don't start that in this game.
17:13Right.
17:14Over you come.
17:15First couple get to the end, too, there.
17:16And you, my darlings, come to here.
17:18That's fine.
17:19And I'll be in the middle of you.
17:20OK.
17:21Now, the first organ are the lungs.
17:24The lungs.
17:25Now, remember, we want them as big as you think, but in the right place.
17:29So, that's what we're looking for.
17:32The lungs.
17:34Everybody done the lungs yet?
17:36The next one is the liver.
17:38The liver.
17:39There again, we want the correct size, if possible.
17:42And also, the position of the liver.
17:46Have we done that?
17:48All right, Roy?
17:49You look worried.
17:50Move to just the side, would you, so we can see what you're doing.
17:53That's it, fine.
17:54No doubt.
17:55There you are.
17:56I knew he'd be in trouble.
17:58And you couldn't see what he was doing, would you?
18:00He was trying to cover it up his mistakes.
18:02Right.
18:03Now, the next one, you see, now, some of our organs are in pairs.
18:06You see?
18:07So, thus nature balances itself.
18:10So, what we want now are the kidneys.
18:13OK?
18:14The kidneys.
18:15They're, again, the correct size we want.
18:16And where are they?
18:17Don't mask yourself, Roy.
18:18Get on the side and do it.
18:19Good.
18:20You don't have to write on them, dear.
18:22OK, Rosie.
18:23On you come.
18:24That's fine.
18:25Can I just get in here?
18:26That's fine.
18:27Oh, I thought you were going to wear a bikini.
18:28What a shame.
18:29I've been looking forward to that all day.
18:30There we are.
18:31OK, now, the lungs.
18:32Very good.
18:33Very good.
18:34Very good.
18:35Very good.
18:36Very good, Peter, with the lungs.
18:37I can give you two.
18:38Two points for that.
18:39Very good indeed.
18:40Very good.
18:41Very good.
18:42Very good, Peter, with the lungs.
18:43I can give you two.
18:44Two points for that.
18:45Very good indeed.
18:46The liver, it's a bit small, but it's in the right place.
18:49I can give you one for the liver.
18:50And you'll get two for the kidneys.
18:53Very good position.
18:54Very well done.
18:55Five points to go out there.
18:57Come over here, my darling.
18:58Lovely.
18:59Right.
19:00Your lungs, well, they were good as well.
19:02Yes, we can give you two points for the lungs.
19:04The liver, a bit small, but in the right place.
19:07I can give you one for the liver.
19:09And your kidneys, well, a bit small.
19:11They're nearly in the right place.
19:12We'll give you one for that as well.
19:13So, four.
19:14Still very good indeed.
19:18Come over here, my darling.
19:19Good point.
19:20Now then, Rachel, you get two lovely big lungs there.
19:23Lovely pair of lungs you've got there.
19:24Aren't they?
19:25Ooh, they really are.
19:26Nice lungs.
19:27Okay, but what were you doing here?
19:30Mixed grill.
19:31There's your kidneys.
19:32Your liver's in the wrong place.
19:33All you want is an egg in the middle, don't you?
19:35So, sorry, can't give you anything for the liver,
19:37and I can't give you anything for the kidneys.
19:39They're all lost there.
19:40Look like a couple of plums.
19:41So, sorry, you only got two points, but well done anyway.
19:45Now, what did you get up to, Roy?
19:46I can see you...
19:47Yes, well, your lungs are a nicer shape, aren't they?
19:50Yeah, but we can only give you one for them.
19:53Because they're not big enough, but they're more or less in the right place.
19:56So, one for that.
19:57Where's your liver?
19:58Is this the liver?
19:59Yeah.
20:00Yeah, well, you can't give me anything.
20:01It's the wrong side.
20:02And, yeah, your kidney's about the right place, but not big enough.
20:06Only one for that.
20:07But still, two points, but well done.
20:09Difficult game for you.
20:10Yeah, it was.
20:11Yeah, good luck.
20:12Thank you, Rosie.
20:13Fine.
20:14Come back, please.
20:15Here we are.
20:17All right.
20:18Well done.
20:19We're going this forward.
20:21Peter and Alex have 27.
20:2327.
20:24Rachel and Roy have 22.
20:2620.
20:27Oh, bad luck.
20:28Oh, bad luck, you two.
20:30Well done, you two.
20:31And we're sorry to lose you, but you will be getting a Generation Game telephone with our
20:35love.
20:36And thank you for being such an important part of our show.
20:38Thank you so much.
20:39And we'll see you in our grand final, which is coming up very, very soon.
20:43Off you go.
20:44Over there.
20:45Go on.
20:46Go on.
20:47Maybe.
20:48Maybe.
20:49Oh, dear, oh, dear.
20:50Who have we got left?
20:52Our third team's from West Midlands.
20:53They're mother and son, Val Rennie and Paul Farley.
20:56Hi.
20:57How are you?
20:58Welcome, welcome.
20:59Right.
21:00Now, you are Val?
21:01Val Rennie.
21:02Oh, yeah.
21:03Love your tablets.
21:04What do you do, Mrs Settlers?
21:05Oh, really?
21:06What do you do, Madonna?
21:07I'm a secretary in family planning.
21:08Yeah, are we dancing?
21:09What's going on?
21:10How many children have you got?
21:11Three.
21:12Three children?
21:13Oh, so you don't take your work home with you.
21:15What's your...
21:16What's your...
21:17What's your...
21:18What's your...
21:19What's your...
21:20What's your...
21:21What's your...
21:22What's your...
21:23What's your...
21:24What's your husband's name, Mrs Bicidal?
21:27Uh, really?
21:28Tony.
21:29And where did you meet him?
21:31At our local badminton club.
21:33Oh, gosh, how lovely.
21:36I wish I'd have worn my blaze.
21:39It was a really good place.
21:41Yeah, there's very few of us left.
21:45Very few, Mrs Shuttlecock.
21:48You were disappointed with your Portuguese honeymoon.
21:51Tell us about that.
21:52Well, yes.
21:53When we arrived at the hotel, we were rather disappointed to see that we hadn't got a double bed, as we'd hoped.
21:59Oh.
22:00We'd only got two singles.
22:01So, so, we pushed them together.
22:02Yeah.
22:03And when we went to bed at night, because we're having a bit of a kiss and cuddle, they just kept partying.
22:07In the end, we ended up sitting in the middle of the floor, in between them.
22:10Uh-oh.
22:11And it was only the next day that we realised they were on casters.
22:14Casters?
22:15Oh, what a shame.
22:16Yeah.
22:17Well, I'll make a note of that.
22:19Wedding night wheelies.
22:23Yes, over to your son, Paul.
22:24Paul what?
22:25Farley.
22:26What's that?
22:27Farley.
22:28Oh, love your Rusks.
22:29And what do you do, Paul?
22:30I'm a police officer in the West Goodlands Police.
22:32Oh.
22:33Oh, well, I was only kidding about the Rusks.
22:35You're quite warm.
22:36Only kidding, yeah.
22:37Warm night.
22:38Warm night.
22:39I always get my police to do this.
22:40Warm night, warm night.
22:41Are you married?
22:42No, I've got a girlfriend, Jackie.
22:43A girlfriend?
22:44Oh, Jackie, yes.
22:45And what does she do?
22:46She's also in the police force.
22:47Oh, warm night, warm night.
22:48Warm night.
22:49And if you get married, lots of warm nights.
22:50Lots of warm nights.
22:51Warm nights, warm nights.
22:52Uh, sandwiches have been an embarrassment in your life.
22:56Tell us about what that means.
22:57They do hold a problem for me.
22:58Yes, yeah.
22:59When I was about 16, and credibility's very important at that age, I was at school in a
23:02maths lesson.
23:03Yeah.
23:04And, um, in the corridor outside, I saw Mum.
23:06And I thought, I wonder what's up.
23:07She's just appeared out of the blue.
23:09And, um, all of a sudden, she tromped into the classroom with another member of staff
23:12and says, uh, Paul, darling, here's your sandwiches you forgot.
23:15But some years later, in fact, when I joined the police force, um, I was in the
23:20front office at work.
23:21We'd book our walkie-talkie radios out.
23:22Yeah.
23:23And, um, all the lads were there.
23:25It was a crowd of them.
23:26And, again, she reappears.
23:27Paul, darling, you've forgotten your sandwiches again.
23:30Oh.
23:31Well, that's nice.
23:32Just mother love, Paul.
23:33It's just mother love, you see.
23:34There we are.
23:35Well, now, Val made you this sandwich this morning.
23:39And just a wish you luck for the show.
23:41Very kind.
23:42And it's your favourite.
23:43It's banana and salmon.
23:45Okay.
23:46And there we are.
23:47And if you fancy some Marmite, there's a jar in there.
23:50Just in case you wanted some extra soup.
23:51But what nice people.
23:52Thank you for being here.
23:53Thank you for being here.
23:54Oh, no.
23:55We've got a completely fair game.
23:56Come on.
23:57We've got a thousand.
23:58Nice people.
23:59Now, then, who is the last couple tonight?
24:04They're from Bedfordshire.
24:05Their mother and son, Margaret and Tony Lockwood.
24:08Jolly good.
24:09Now, you're Margaret?
24:10Lockwood.
24:11And you're married to Geoffrey.
24:12And what does he do, Mrs. Firewood?
24:13Lockwood.
24:14He is a retired RAF officer.
24:15A retired RAF officer.
24:16Was he a pilot?
24:17A navigator.
24:18Oh, a navigator.
24:19Oh, fine, yeah.
24:20And an air traffic controller.
24:21Oh, I see.
24:22Oh, fine.
24:23Well, don't leave anything out, will you?
24:24Right.
24:25Yeah.
24:26Tell us about your courtship, Mrs. Bentwood.
24:27Er, Lockwood.
24:28Well, the first time I took him home, we played Monopoly in the front room, and then he wanted
24:46to call it the loo.
24:47Oh, yes, yes.
24:48So, I said, well, the loo's outside.
24:51Yes.
24:52And we had gaslight then.
24:53I said, I hope you won't mind.
24:54I don't want to turn the gaslight up, because we were a bit poor.
24:57He says, I said, when you go outside, there's one step, and then there's four.
25:00Oh, I see.
25:01He says, right, let cat-sized navigator lockwood come.
25:03Oh, yeah.
25:04He says, I can find my way.
25:05Oh, yeah.
25:06And he did.
25:07He went one step and fell.
25:08Oh, yeah.
25:09Four stone steps.
25:10Oh, yeah.
25:11So a navigator went flying.
25:12What's all about that?
25:13And he had plaster for six weeks.
25:14Oh, he was in plaster?
25:15Oh, that's not funny, is it?
25:16Oh, my goodness, no.
25:17No, it's not.
25:18Oh, he did look bad.
25:23Well, you were poor.
25:24Yeah.
25:25Now, over to your son, Tony Lockwood.
25:27And you're married to Sue?
25:28Yes.
25:29Is she a Red Indian?
25:30No, she's a maths teacher.
25:31Oh, I see.
25:32Fine.
25:33How long have you been married?
25:35Uh, 17 years.
25:36Oh, and she still hasn't summed you up.
25:38Have you...
25:39Have you and Sue multiplied?
25:42Yes, Bruce, we've got three children.
25:45Three children?
25:46Are they still at home or have they divided?
25:48Oh, no, we're still at home.
25:49I see.
25:50You had a happy childhood apart from one day on the beach.
25:53Well...
25:54Tell us about it, Mr. Driftwood.
25:55Well, as my mother pointed out, we were very poor.
25:59Oh, very poor.
26:00Yeah, and she'd forgotten to buy any suntan lotion.
26:03She didn't have any suntan lotion.
26:04No money to buy it, but being the resourceful woman she is,
26:07she went straight back to the flat and got the chip oil.
26:09Yeah.
26:10Oh, yeah, but it had only been used...
26:11The chip oil?
26:12Yeah.
26:13It had only been used once.
26:14Yeah.
26:15She just...
26:16She lathered all the children.
26:17No.
26:18Yeah.
26:19And we had the benefit of the biggest space on the beach,
26:21as well as coming up the most crusty brown of anybody
26:24inside one room.
26:25Why didn't you do that to them, Mum?
26:27I mean, I've only bacon in the sun, but not frying them.
26:30For goodness sake, poor kiddies.
26:32Make a note of that.
26:34Chip botties.
26:35Anyway, thank you, Tony and Margaret, for being with us.
26:40Hi.
26:42Jonathan.
26:43Lovely.
26:44Oh.
26:46Come over here with me.
26:48There you are.
26:49Our third game is called Toastmaster.
26:52So let's welcome the chairman of the Guild of Professional Toastmasters,
26:57Mr. Ashley Powell.
26:59Ladies and gentlemen, you are invited to receive the Right Honourable, the Lord Forsythe,
27:09a Knight Grand Cross of the most distinguished order of St. Michael and St. George,
27:13a Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order, and a commander of the most excellent order of the British Empire.
27:22Ladies and gentlemen, you are invited to receive Mr. Peter Green, and the Honourable Mrs. Green, and their daughter Cynthia.
27:30Now listen to this next bit very carefully.
27:37May it please your Royal Highness, Mr. Chairman, your Excellences, your Graces, my Lords, other distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen, dinner is so.
27:48Right.
27:49Coming up.
27:53Thank you, Ashley.
27:54Absolutely marvellous.
27:56Now you are the youngest ever professional Toastmaster.
28:00Absolutely, Bruce, yes.
28:01In the history of that.
28:02That's right.
28:03And also being the chairman, that's quite something.
28:04I'm very proud.
28:05Congratulations from all of us.
28:06Thank you very much.
28:07And will you come back and do some marvellous?
28:08My pleasure.
28:09See if they can take over your job.
28:10Down you go there.
28:11Lovely.
28:12Okay, when you're ready, come on, if you will.
28:14Lovely, lovely.
28:15That's good.
28:16Now then, remember attitude is very important.
28:20The attitude, and remember at the end there how many dignitaries are at the function.
28:25Okay?
28:26Put the headphones on them so they can't hear, and face them the other way.
28:31Away you go.
28:32Don't forget the attitude.
28:33The attitude.
28:34Okay.
28:35Ladies and gentlemen, you are invited to receive Mr. and Mrs. Dandy Liver, and their son Stan.
28:43Stand and deliver.
28:44Good.
28:45Okay, carry on.
28:46May it please...
28:47No, no, no.
28:48That's where he did that.
28:49Good, good.
28:50May it please your most excellent highnesses, lords, overwhelmed people, the most excellent royals, and of course, ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
29:10Very good.
29:11Okay.
29:12Absolutely.
29:13There you go.
29:14There you go.
29:15Bravo.
29:16The next one.
29:17Don't forget attitude and all those dignitaries at the end.
29:21Are you ready, madame?
29:22Away you go.
29:23Yeah.
29:24Come on.
29:25No, he didn't do that then.
29:26Jesus Christ.
29:27Ladies and gentlemen, you are invited to receive Mr. and Mrs. Bacon and their son, Dr. Crispy.
29:39Crispy Bacon.
29:40Right.
29:41And the last bit, remember all the dignitaries as you can.
29:44As many as you can.
29:45May it please your royal highness.
29:48Good, good.
29:49Sir Admiral Bulllord Crichton, your royal highness, Prince Charles, Princess Diana, Queen Mother, and councillors, and anybody who may be here, I would like to introduce you to Sir Bruce Forsyth.
30:13No, dinner's served.
30:14Dinner's served and it's lovely.
30:15Okay, the next one in.
30:16There we are.
30:17That's who you've got to introduce.
30:18And don't forget, you know, the attitude and also at the end, as many dignitaries as
30:34your problem.
30:35Away you go.
30:36No, he didn't do that then.
30:38Away you go.
30:39Ladies and gentlemen, you are invited to receive Lord and Lady et Pudding and their daughter Sue.
30:47May Sue et Pudding.
30:50No, Mr. Jokes.
30:51Right, away you go.
30:52The last bit.
30:53Don't forget, as many as you can.
30:54May it please your highnesses, your excellences, Lord and Lady Bruce Forsyth.
31:04Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, Sir Anthony Hopkins.
31:14Um, Lady Hopkins.
31:15Um, there you go.
31:17May I invite you for dinner is, uh, Will Rogers.
31:21Well done, he's been.
31:22Great to meet you.
31:23All right, well done.
31:24Well, the last one is here.
31:25Now, okay, away you go, away you go.
31:26Good evening.
31:27No, he didn't do that then.
31:28Ladies and gentlemen, you are invited to receive Mr. and Mrs. Sweather and their daughter,
31:41Gloria.
31:42Gloria Sweather.
31:43Now show up, show up.
31:44Stay seated.
31:45Right.
31:46Okay, now the last bit, go on.
31:47May, please, your, your ladies and gentlemen.
31:48Do the bang first, that's it.
31:49Good, good, good.
31:50Lovely, too.
31:51Silence.
31:52We.
31:53Ladies and gentlemen.
31:54It's all right, dear.
31:55Don't keep me.
31:56That's enough.
31:57You're not an auctioneer.
31:58Right.
31:59Away you go.
32:00The last bit.
32:01Ladies and gentlemen, your royal highness, sirs and their ladies, lords and their ladies,
32:15will you please be seated for dinner?
32:20Well, that's what they're going to do.
32:22Eat standing up.
32:23That's it.
32:24Dinner is served.
32:25Dinner is served.
32:26That's it.
32:27Very good.
32:28Come round the country.
32:31Come round here and come in here, my darling.
32:36That's lovely, lovely, lovely.
32:38And will you come back, Ashley, to do some marking, please?
32:41Well, a typical job to do, but actually under the circumstance.
32:51Well, Bruce, I thought they all made a very valiant effort, starting with Paul here.
32:55Yes.
32:56Good voice projection.
32:57Very good.
32:58And Paul managed to adhere very closely to correct form.
33:01With regard to vowel, she gaveled too early, although she had excellent diction.
33:05Yes.
33:06And it was worth it for me just to hear that lovely ad-lib at the end.
33:09It's lovely.
33:10Yes.
33:11I'd like to award Paul eight points.
33:13Very good.
33:14And Val seven points.
33:15Very good indeed.
33:16Lovely, lovely.
33:20Moving on to Tony.
33:22Now, Tony, again, good delivery, excellent voice projection.
33:25You gaveled too early.
33:26Margaret, I felt that your delivery was too monotone.
33:30It was slightly stoic.
33:31You could have injected a little more of your own personality into it.
33:34Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, and I thought you did very, very well.
33:37I'd like to award Tony seven points.
33:39Yes.
33:40And Margaret, six points.
33:41Very good.
33:42Very good indeed.
33:43And very good.
33:44All right.
33:45Thank you so much.
33:46Good luck with everything you do.
33:48Thank you, Ashley Powell.
33:49That's it.
33:50Good.
33:51Now, what's on the board, Miss Ford?
33:54Paul and Val have 15.
33:5615.
33:57Margaret and Tony have 13.
33:58Oh, only two in it.
34:00Only two.
34:01Okay.
34:02Go over there and sit yourselves down and relax.
34:04All right.
34:05Bald, I'll be blowed.
34:07But first of all, feast your eyes on this.
34:10Aren't they beautiful?
34:11And they're all made out of balloons.
34:13But here's another good friend of the generation game, Mr. John Stiles.
34:18Yes.
34:19Hello, John.
34:20Welcome.
34:21Welcome.
34:22Welcome.
34:23Welcome, welcome.
34:25John, it's always been a delight to have you on the show.
34:28And you've just come back from America.
34:30Yes.
34:31I was doing a little miniature with my Punch and Judy show.
34:33Oh, that's marvelous.
34:34They appreciated our Punch and Judy.
34:36They certainly did.
34:37Great to go.
34:38Now, what are you going to do for us?
34:39Well, I thought we'd show you something again with some balloons, Bruce.
34:41Yep.
34:42Can you move back a little bit?
34:43Oh, sorry.
34:44I just...
34:45A little blow.
34:47A bit more.
34:50Very difficult to blow up.
34:52Yeah.
34:53This one is, isn't it?
34:54Right.
34:55Keep going.
34:56Yes, it used to be green, this one, but the wind blew it.
34:59I've got some more jokes they won't understand.
35:02Yeah, good.
35:03Now we need another one, which is this color.
35:05Can I help in any way?
35:06You can, Bruce.
35:07You're helping.
35:08You're working very well.
35:09You look very nice.
35:10The trousers look good.
35:11Who shines them for you?
35:17I polish them every day.
35:18Right.
35:19Now we do a little twist there.
35:20Can you pop that under the other arm?
35:21Yes, anywhere you like.
35:22They're not too heavy for you, are they?
35:23No, I don't know why it's got that way, but I'll put it that way instead.
35:25Right.
35:26A little bit more here.
35:27A bit more.
35:28Many different...
35:29Oh, yeah, they did go round it.
35:30Oh!
35:31Now what we do, can you pop that under the other arm?
35:34I like all the checks.
35:35I like all the checks.
35:36Now we need another one here, which is a little bit thinner, this one here.
35:38Mm-hmm.
35:39This is very hard.
35:42Fortunately, the contestants will not have to blow these up, so don't worry about that.
35:47No.
35:48You've all got your own, so don't worry about this part.
35:50All right, okay, Chris.
35:51Well, I think we've got there now.
35:52Yeah.
35:53You don't have to stop talking now.
35:54Yeah, fine.
35:55Okay, yes.
35:56Well, you're doing enough of both of us.
35:57You said your tongue's glad when you're asleep.
36:00Yeah.
36:01No.
36:02We're doing enough of both of us.
36:05There's no need to applaud for that.
36:08Good.
36:09There we are.
36:10Away you go.
36:11Oh, dear, I'm not...
36:12It's a double act.
36:13I don't know.
36:14We do another little twist there like that.
36:15We do another one here.
36:16We're still trying to work out what you're doing.
36:17The big blue one here.
36:18And we've got to try to get that one to go onto there like that.
36:20We've got another one here.
36:21My goodness, so fast now.
36:22And last of all, we take that one and pop him on the end.
36:26And I expect it to be all guessed correctly.
36:29Because yes.
36:30Yes.
36:31There he is.
36:32Look.
36:33A hedgehog.
36:34The reindeer, yes.
36:35It is.
36:37Look at that.
36:38Oh.
36:40All together now.
36:41My little boy would love one of those.
36:45He really would.
36:46That's marvellous.
36:47Come back and do some marking.
36:48I will.
36:49Thank you, John Styles.
36:50And come over here if you will.
36:52Johnny, good.
36:54You stay with these.
36:55You've got plenty of balloons in the box.
36:56Get to the other one if you will, Paul.
36:58Good.
36:59Now then, you can make any animal you like.
37:02You've got about one and a half minutes to do this.
37:04Starting from now.
37:07Okay.
37:09Any animal you like.
37:13Any animal you like.
37:14Oh, yes.
37:15We're certainly moving.
37:17Yeah, this is very good.
37:20Very good.
37:21Very good.
37:22Can you pull that?
37:23Oh.
37:24Oh.
37:25Oh.
37:26Oh.
37:27Oh.
37:28Oh.
37:29Oh, wait.
37:30Start again.
37:31That's it.
37:33I can't guess what that is.
37:35Oh.
37:36This is a shame because you were doing so well to start with.
37:39They're just bursting.
37:40Like mad they are.
37:41I know you're being a bit too rough.
37:44That's it.
37:45Be careful.
37:46Don't burst any more.
37:48Oh, all right.
37:49Are we...
37:50Ten seconds to go.
37:51Ten seconds to go.
37:52So, make sure you don't burst anything.
37:54That's it.
37:55Leave it if you're a bit worried about your bursting,
37:57because it would be a shame.
38:01All right.
38:02Time's up.
38:03Stop wherever you're up to.
38:04And John, come back and do some marking.
38:12Now then.
38:13First of all, what is it, Paul?
38:15A hippopotamus.
38:16No, it's a fly.
38:17It's a fly.
38:18A flying hippopotamus.
38:19A flying hippopotamus.
38:20Looks more like Alien 3 to me.
38:24But I think it's...
38:25See now what you're saying.
38:26I can get a shape out of there.
38:27Yeah.
38:28It's quite creative, I suppose.
38:29Yeah.
38:30I'll say seven out of ten.
38:31Seven out of ten.
38:32Well done indeed.
38:33Yes.
38:34Okay, Paul.
38:35That's lovely.
38:36Now we had a few bursts along the way up here,
38:38so they were marvellous to get as far as they did.
38:40Are you holding that on?
38:41Oh, I am.
38:42Because that was going to be his leg.
38:43That was going to be his leg.
38:44So, leave it there for now.
38:46So, what is it?
38:47It was going to be a ram.
38:49And that was his leg.
38:50A ram?
38:51A ram.
38:52Those were the horns.
38:53Those were the horns.
38:54That's his little tail.
38:55And he's got a leg.
38:56And if you could have just got those,
38:57that would have been his leg.
38:58That's a good idea.
38:59Yes, I'm going to say seven out of ten.
39:01Because if those legs have made it,
39:02with all the trouble you had,
39:03I think that's worthy.
39:04Thank you, sir.
39:05Okay, fine.
39:06Well done indeed.
39:07Lovely, lovely, lovely.
39:08Now, this is rather creative.
39:10Come down here, Margot.
39:11Now, what is it, my darling?
39:12Well, the sausage dog.
39:13You know, these are supposed to be long ears.
39:15Long ears.
39:16You know what I mean?
39:17Long ears, but you couldn't get them down enough.
39:18Yeah.
39:19But sausage dog.
39:20Yes, these legs are a bit long for the sausage.
39:22He'd be a bit like that when he walked.
39:24I'm going to say eight out of ten.
39:26Very good.
39:27Very good.
39:28I agree with you.
39:29Very good indeed.
39:30Right, now then.
39:31Here we are.
39:32Now, what the dickens is this?
39:34It's an Italian spaghetti hunting hound.
39:40It goes down the spaghetti burrow.
39:42Yes.
39:43And that stops it going too far.
39:44Yes.
39:45And then it just can get hold of it,
39:46that little snout there,
39:47and then it stores it here, you see.
39:49I see, it stores it here.
39:50You know, I believe him.
39:51A spaghetti hunting hound.
39:54That's it?
39:55Yes, fine.
39:56Well, I mean, there's lots of bones on there.
39:58You've certainly...
39:59All right, eight out of ten.
40:00I think it's very good.
40:01This is exciting.
40:02Very good indeed.
40:03OK, Nick.
40:05And John, good luck with all you do.
40:07Thank you very much.
40:08Congratulations on the Americans here.
40:10Well done.
40:19Welcome aboard, Miss Ford.
40:21Well, Paul and Val have 29.
40:23Yes.
40:24Margaret and Tony have 29.
40:26Oh, a tiebreaker.
40:28What a bit of luck.
40:30Well, yes, what a bit of luck.
40:32Face the front.
40:33Face the front.
40:34Now, the first one to answer the question correctly.
40:37We'll go through.
40:39Which airline was founded by Richard Branson?
40:4330.
40:44I think it was here, but...
40:47Oh!
40:48Yes!
40:49Yes.
40:50The C.T.
40:51Oh, very close, Clay.
40:52Very close to two.
40:53We'll be sorry to leave you two.
40:54We really are.
40:55But you will be getting a Generation Game telephone.
40:57And thank you so much for being with us tonight.
40:59with us tonight. Thank you again.
41:01Off they go.
41:03And let's remind
41:08ourselves of who you'll be playing
41:09in our grand final.
41:11Come over here.
41:16And have we got a grand final
41:18for you? Now, it's a play this week.
41:19A play. And your
41:21accents are very important.
41:24OK? I'll say no more.
41:25We'll just have the vital toss-up.
41:27Alex, heads or tails?
41:29Heads. Heads. It is
41:31tails. So,
41:33you've lost the toss. Do you want to go first
41:35or second? I'll go second. You'll go second?
41:37All right, then. You two will go over there
41:39and get ready. Right over there.
41:41And put these two in a padded cell.
41:44For Paul,
41:45the policeman.
41:46OK, we're ready now for the Scarlet
41:49Pimpernel Take One.
41:51I am Citizen Chauvelin, and I'm here
42:00to stop the Scarlet Pimpernel from
42:02saving Queen Marie Antoinette from
42:03execution.
42:06What are you knitting that sock
42:08for? You're supposed to be knitting a
42:09chin warmer for me.
42:11Oh! I haven't got enough woe!
42:18I wonder what happened to the Beverly
42:19sisters.
42:21Bring on the Queen!
42:23Yeah!
42:24Oh!
42:24That's right. Wave! Come here. Wave. Wave goodbye to
42:33your head. Now, read your line, and don't
42:35forget the accent. What, the French
42:37accent? Into there.
42:38Oh, Citizen Chauvelin. Please spell my
42:41life. I do not want to go to the guillotine.
42:45That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
42:50Go now with that. On you come. On you come.
42:52On you come. Keep some of that.
42:55Shut up. Shut up. Right. Okay. Now, remember
42:57the French accent into camera four. Okay.
43:00I've come to administer the last
43:02rights.
43:06That's a bit Irish one.
43:08An Irish nun. Yes. Okay.
43:10Just a minute. Wait a minute.
43:12Yes, as I thought, you're the scout of
43:14Pimpernel. Grab him, men. Grab him.
43:16Get him. That's it. Hurry up.
43:18Hurry up. You may be at a catch
43:20even by the tumbrils. I've never
43:22got any of her stuff. I've got the camera
43:24ready. Oh.
43:28She's no good at taking photos. She
43:29always chops their heads off. Yeah, that
43:32makes you cry. Keep sobbing. Louder.
43:34Louder. Keep sobbing. Louder. Keep sobbing.
43:36Right. On you come. On you come.
43:38Keep on. Now, read your line. It's on the
43:41toolbox. Excusez-moi.
43:43Citizen Chauvelin. Oh, that's better.
43:44I am Gilbert. The guillotine. Shut up, sobbing.
43:46I'm a repairman. Oh, you're the repairman. There's nothing
43:49wrong with my guillotine. No one who's
43:51used it has complained.
43:53Shut up, you old bag.
43:59That's her own laugh, you know. She's not putting
44:01it on. Up here
44:03and put your toolbox down there
44:05and down there and read your line up there.
44:07Come on. Sacre bleu.
44:09Do you realise you could kill someone with this
44:11thing?
44:12That's what it's for. Just a minute.
44:15Well, as I thought, it's the scarlet
44:17pimpinel. Grab him, then.
44:19Grab him. Get on in. Yes.
44:22Yes. Hurry up.
44:23The guillotine's got to be back in the fish shop
44:25to slice the chips.
44:27Speaking of chips.
44:29You've had yours.
44:31Right.
44:31Here we go.
44:32Citizen Chauvelin.
44:33I appear to you.
44:35Don't overdo it, dear.
44:38You're not going for an Oscar.
44:39Right.
44:40Now, this is the bit where you try to seduce me,
44:42all right, to save your life.
44:43Get the picture?
44:45That's it.
44:45That's it.
44:45Fine.
44:46A beautiful head like mine
44:48should not be decaffeinated.
44:51Decaffeinated?
44:53That's decaffeinated for Evan C.
44:55Come over here with me
44:57and we'll carry on
44:59on the cards.
45:01Get me a little lift
45:02her up so she can get here.
45:03That's it.
45:03Good.
45:04Come on here, darling.
45:05Okay.
45:06Grab hold of me.
45:07Oh, that's...
45:07Oh!
45:10The earth moved.
45:11I'll tell you what,
45:20it's the first time
45:20I've had a bit on the slide.
45:23Oh, sorry.
45:25Let's get you up here, dear.
45:27Let's try.
45:29Okay.
45:30All right, Larry.
45:31I mean, all right.
45:32Now, you're Sir Percy Blakely,
45:34you know, in English standards,
45:35so fob it up
45:35and talk with a lisp.
45:37In there.
45:37In there.
45:37God.
45:37They seek him here.
45:41They seek him thus.
45:44Those threatened
45:45feed him
45:46everywhere.
45:54Is he in heaven?
45:56Is he?
45:58Is he in hell?
46:01Wherever he is.
46:04Didn't he do well?
46:06Oh, Mrs. Scarlet
46:18pimper now.
46:19What?
46:19Yes, grab him, men.
46:20Grab him.
46:21Quick.
46:22Execution.
46:22Off with his head.
46:23Get the basket.
46:24Get the...
46:24Where's the basket?
46:26God, but we'll get a...
46:27Get a box and we'll get...
46:28Get a book with a can.
46:29A can.
46:30A can, can?
46:31Oh, certainly.
46:32Come on, everybody.
46:38Come on, everybody.
46:42Oh, good.
46:43Come on.
46:45Yeah.
46:46Yeah.
46:46Yeah.
46:48Lovely, lovely.
46:52Lovely, lovely.
46:53Well done, my darling.
46:54There we are.
46:55Oh, absolutely marvellous.
46:57Your accents were...
46:58And I love the kicking at the end.
46:59Oh, go over there.
47:00That was absolutely superb.
47:02Ready?
47:03Right.
47:03We're ready now for Scarlet Pimpernel.
47:06Take D.
47:13England!
47:14England!
47:15England!
47:16England!
47:17Yeah.
47:18The World Cup 1998.
47:19I'm getting ready.
47:23Right.
47:24But I'm still a citizen, Chauvelin, and I'm sure you remember the plot.
47:29Rubber bands.
47:30What do you hope to knit with rubber bands, for goodness sake?
47:32Oh!
47:33Hot water bottle.
47:35Get anything else to warm you up at night, I'll tell you that.
47:38Bring on the Queen!
47:39Bring on the Queen!
47:40Hurry up, hurry up!
47:47The executioner is waiting, and he likes to get ahead with his work.
47:51What's that, a jade cloth?
47:52Put it down, you don't know where it's been, for goodness sake.
47:55Now, read your line, dear, in the French accent.
47:57Fine.
47:57I demand you, reprieve me, and put me back in jail.
48:02Now, give somebody, give somebody, give somebody, give somebody, give somebody, there's a fight.
48:07On you come, on you come, on you come.
48:11And the French accent, shut up, dear.
48:14Right.
48:15I'm here to give her my blessing.
48:17Here you are.
48:18Just a moment, you're a blessing in disguise.
48:21I thought so.
48:22Here, the Scarlet Pimpernel, grab him, man.
48:24Grab him.
48:25After him.
48:26After him.
48:27Hurry up, you can catch him by the cloisters.
48:29Right.
48:31What would you like for your last meal?
48:33I would like a pizza with plenty of toppings.
48:37Leave the topping to him.
48:40Leave the topping to him.
48:41Oh, you are a card.
48:44Shut up, Catherine Rosie.
48:46And keep something, dear.
48:47Keep something, that's it.
48:48On your cup, on your cup.
48:51Right, and read your line.
48:53Read your line on the box, okay?
48:55Excuse-moi, citizen.
48:57I'm Gilbert, the guillotine, inspector.
48:59Yeah, well, hurry up, because I've got a lot on my chopping list.
49:02Yeah, but there's a chopping list.
49:04Oh, you're not Frankenstein.
49:10And put it down.
49:11Put the sticks here.
49:12And read, read.
49:14Monsieur, do you realise?
49:16This is a very popular model.
49:18People are dying to use it.
49:20He's doing the joke now.
49:21I've got, oh, just a moment, as I thought.
49:24The Scarlet Pimpinot men, grab him.
49:26Grab him, quick.
49:28After him, after him.
49:29That's it.
49:30Hurry up.
49:30The guillotine's only rented.
49:32Yes.
49:33And if he's not back in the morning, we'll all get it in the neck.
49:35I'm talking about getting it in the neck.
49:39There we are.
49:40Can we talk a bit?
49:43Please spare me.
49:45You mean a bit of spare?
49:46Yes.
49:47This is where you try to seduce me, to save your life.
49:49You know what I mean?
49:51Go on.
49:53Oh, citizen.
49:54Shovel it.
49:57Shovel it?
49:58It's the chauvelet.
49:59I couldn't do it.
50:00Shab.
50:00Now, put me over there, dear, and we'll have a tumble in the tumbril.
50:04He'll help you get on there.
50:05Now, just get up there.
50:06That's it.
50:07Meet me in the middle.
50:08Meet me in the middle here.
50:09Okay.
50:10Fine.
50:17What means you think I'm not on the level?
50:20Because he...
50:22What do you think this is?
50:25Come dancing.
50:25Right, now, Sir Percy Blakeney, you're...
50:29I wish you'd stop moving.
50:30You're so big.
50:32Right.
50:32Warm night.
50:33Warm night.
50:33Right.
50:35Sir Percy Blakeney, you're an English dandy, so act the part, very posh, and with a lisp.
50:40Into there.
50:41They seek him here.
50:43They seek him here.
50:44Those Frenchies seek him here.
50:46Everywhere.
50:49Go on.
50:50Is it for fortune?
50:52Is it for fame?
50:53Fooling the foggies?
50:54Good game.
50:57Good game.
50:59Rosie.
50:59Good game.
51:00No, she says...
51:01Rosie says good game.
51:05You took so long.
51:06It should be good game, good game.
51:08That's the way I say it.
51:09Now, Rosie says...
51:10Good game, good game.
51:11Now, she...
51:12I don't know about you, but I think I'm executing the wrong woman.
51:17Do you know this man?
51:18He is a dedicated nobleman.
51:20And have it off.
51:22Have it off?
51:23What are you talking about?
51:24He's an avid tough.
51:27Avid off.
51:28He's the scarlet pimper now.
51:30Yeah, the scarlet pimper now.
51:32What?
51:32Grab him, man.
51:33Quick, grab him.
51:33Hold on, hold on.
51:35Don't call him blimey.
51:36Tell he's a copper.
51:37No, no, no.
51:37Okay.
51:38Okay, Nick.
51:38Oh, you've got the basket.
51:39Thank goodness.
51:40Because this whole thing has been a complete folly.
51:43Follies?
51:44Oh, yeah.
51:46Woo-hoo.
51:46Oh, yes.
51:49Everybody join in.
51:57Oh, yeah.
51:58Oh, yeah.
51:59Yes.
52:00Oh, yeah.
52:00Oh, yeah.
52:01Oh, yeah.
52:04Lovely, lovely.
52:06Amazing thing now.
52:07Thank you to our supporting artists, our hags over there.
52:10Thank you, ladies, and thank you, gentlemen.
52:14Well done, indeed.
52:16And could we have the first couple back, please?
52:19Nice and quick.
52:20That's it.
52:20Lovely, lovely.
52:21And now, to judge this, we have a man of many, many talents.
52:25And his sophistication is...
52:28Oh, I'm sorry, Rosie.
52:29I always forget when you're down in the spritz.
52:32Oh, she must have a terrible headache.
52:34Are you all right?
52:36Okay.
52:37Do you forgive me?
52:38Oh, look at that smile.
52:39Well, once again, Rosie Ford.
52:42There we are.
52:44Oh.
52:46And now, to judge this, we have a man of many talents.
52:50And his sophistication is just what this show needs
52:53at this particular moment.
52:55Here he is, Mr. Ned Sherrin.
52:58Oh, yeah.
53:01Thank you, Ned.
53:02Welcome.
53:03Welcome.
53:04Well, we thought you were the right man for this particular play.
53:09Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was doing the Evening Standard Drama Awards,
53:12and it's a very similar standard.
53:14It is.
53:16It's an ordinary versatility about Peter, wasn't it?
53:19Oh, yes.
53:20Didn't you think?
53:20Wonderful, yes.
53:21I mean, if it hadn't been in the script,
53:22you wouldn't have known he was changing characters, would you?
53:24You wouldn't.
53:25They were so good.
53:26And the fragility of Alex, and the ability to improvise.
53:30I mean, I suspect that that line about the earth moved...
53:33Oh.
53:34...was not in the script.
53:35It was not?
53:36It was an ad-lib.
53:37Anyway, what about over here?
53:39Well, here we had a problem with Paul,
53:41so I wasn't entirely convinced every time he came on
53:45and pretended to be different.
53:46No, no, difficult with a body like that,
53:48because he is so, isn't he?
53:50On the other hand,
53:50I thought his mother brought a maturity to the seductive role,
53:54which was...
53:55She did.
53:55She did.
53:56...was really special.
53:57Very nice.
53:57And almost convinced me that he was various different people,
54:01and not even her son.
54:06Yes, I see what you mean, yes.
54:08Well, so what about Marx now?
54:09Well, I also wondered why,
54:13when the word decaffeinated was mentioned,
54:15you said decapinated instead of decapitated.
54:18So I think you had to lose one there.
54:25So what about Marx?
54:27You've got my Marx.
54:29We've got to make a decision between the two, have we?
54:31Yes, we do, unfortunately.
54:32It was so close, I know that you...
54:34I think that ad-lib's going to...
54:35I think it's going to be 16.
54:3716?
54:38To Paul and Val.
54:39Yes.
54:40But I think it has to be a near-perfect 19.
54:44With the ad-lib.
54:45Oh, I'm sorry.
54:46The ad-lib did it.
54:48Bad luck, you two.
54:50Well done, you two.
54:51Now, I believe, then,
54:53I believe...
54:54So, that a little bird told me
54:55that you have a book coming out?
54:57It's a book of anecdotes.
54:59Oh, very good.
54:59I've done one of theatrical anecdotes.
55:01Oh, yeah.
55:01It's one of every sort of anecdotes.
55:02Yes.
55:03Royals, sporting, the lot.
55:06Sebastian Coe comes in for a quick slam.
55:09A quick slam as well.
55:10Well, good luck with it.
55:10It's always a pleasure to be in your company,
55:12especially tonight.
55:14Thank you, Neil.
55:15Shall we?
55:15If you'll just go down there.
55:17Lovely.
55:18There we are.
55:18We're bad luck, you two.
55:20But you will be doing a telephone answering machine each
55:23and a pocket-coloured television each.
55:25And thank you for being so wonderful tonight.
55:28If you'll just pop off that way.
55:29Jolly good.
55:30Away you go.
55:31And you two...
55:31Take the doors away, please.
55:42All right, lots of articles are going to pass before your eyes.
55:44Have a look for the tricky ones.
55:45They're more valuable than they look.
55:46Good luck for this.
55:47Your 40 seconds starts now.
55:49On the conveyor belt tonight, we have a case of champagne,
55:53some storage containers, a toy box, a fashion shirt,
55:57a jelly bean machine, a lace fan, a pair of glass candlesticks,
56:04some antique collector's books, a radio...
56:08an electric keyboard, a barrel of whiskey, an old doormat,
56:15a set of juggling balls, a model veteran car, a scarf and a tie,
56:22a carved elephant, a stylish velvet cushion,
56:27a mini chest of drawers and a sheep door stop.
56:31Here we are.
56:32A sheep door stop.
56:33Did I see right there?
56:34A sheep door stop.
56:36Right.
56:36Round you come.
56:37Jolly, sit just here, my darling.
56:39And you get to the other one, Peter, if you will.
56:41Sit in there.
56:42Now, you get another 40 seconds to remember everything.
56:45Are you ready?
56:45Your 40 seconds starts now.
56:47Cuddly toys, champagne, fan, welcome mat, toy box,
56:51storage boxes, silk tie,
56:54a sheep thing that holds the door open,
56:56a...
56:57radio.
57:01Oh, radio, yes, radio.
57:02The electric keyboard.
57:03The electric keyboard.
57:05Did you just say an old doormat?
57:06Yes, oh, the old doormat.
57:07Yes, a welcome mat.
57:08That's all right, away you go.
57:10A big chest, champagne, radio, designer shirt.
57:15Lace, fair, lace, fair, did you?
57:16Lace, fan.
57:16Yeah, it's fine.
57:17Jelly beans.
57:17Yeah, a modern veteran car.
57:19Yeah, a modern veteran car.
57:19Yeah, a modern veteran car.
57:20Yeah, a candle stick.
57:21Carved elephant.
57:22Carved elephant.
57:23The cushion.
57:24Cushion.
57:25Mini chest, mini chest of drawers.
57:26And a sheep door stop.
57:27Yeah.
57:28Oh, did they do well?
57:31A sheep door stop.
57:32Right, come on.
57:33Come on.
57:34A sheep door stop.
57:35Well, you did very well.
57:41You've got everything but the barrel of whiskey, I've got to say.
57:44But the old doormat, I'm glad you've got that because it's a luxurious Afghan rug.
57:49That is a beauty, believe me.
57:50And, of course, the lace fan is...
57:54A fabulous holiday for four to Barcelona.
57:58Are you happy?
57:59Yeah.
57:59Well done, Peter.
58:02Well done, Peter.
58:03There we are.
58:04Well, on behalf of Rosie and the Stalker, everyone, and I do mean everyone, thanks for being with us this week.
58:10We'll see you next week for your repress show.
58:13Be there!
58:14All right!
58:15All right!
58:15It's the man I'm scared.
58:17I want to take a thing with you.
58:21I want to take a thing with you.
58:23I want to take a thing with you.
58:25I want to take a thing with you.
58:27Well, I want to take a thing with you.
58:47And I want to take a thing with you.
58:50Bye-bye!
58:52Bye-bye!
58:53Bye-bye!
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