- anteayer
Fritz, now married and with a son, is desperate to escape from the domestic hell he now finds himself in. Lighting up a joint, he begins to dream about his eight other lives, hoping to find one that will provide a pleasant distraction. The drug-induced journeys he takes include spells as an astronaut, Hitler's psychiatrist, a courier travelling in hostile territory during a race war, and as a pupil of an Indian guru living in the sewers of New York.
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CortometrajesTranscripción
00:00:00The 1970s. Jump back, baby.
00:00:30This is Fred, you do go down and see the welfare
00:00:59people today.
00:01:00Huh?
00:01:01Yeah, they told me to report some place tomorrow. I got it written down on a piece of paper,
00:01:05I think.
00:01:06Well, listen, are you gonna go?
00:01:07I don't know. Let's fuck it.
00:01:09Then are you gonna go out and look for a job like you said?
00:01:13What? Did I say that?
00:01:15Man, I don't.
00:01:18How is it a grown man can spend so much time just dreaming about what he's gonna
00:01:24do for his wife and family?
00:01:26For Christ's sakes, will you come down to earth?
00:01:32What we need is the basic staff of life, like drill.
00:01:37I never saw anybody walking around more stoned than you.
00:01:41Always stoned.
00:01:43Where do you get the money to buy that grass, will you tell me?
00:01:47You and your Acapulco gold.
00:01:50You know what that is?
00:01:51That's shit.
00:01:52Which is what you are.
00:01:54You are shit, friends.
00:01:56There's something you don't know.
00:01:58Harvey and I made it.
00:02:01What do you think of that?
00:02:02We made it and he's better in bed than you are.
00:02:05You know why?
00:02:06He's hung like a horse, that's why.
00:02:08But what about you?
00:02:10You're nothing.
00:02:11You're nothing in the living room.
00:02:13You're nothing in the bathroom.
00:02:14You're nothing in bed.
00:02:16You don't even change the goddamn roller on the toilet paper.
00:02:20I'm the one that uses that mostly.
00:02:22And what about putting the seat down?
00:02:23Why don't you ever do that?
00:02:24Hey, why don't you take that chicken shit grin off your face?
00:02:28Puts!
00:02:29You're nothing!
00:02:30How much can a person take?
00:02:33And why don't you ever put the goddamn seat down when you're through peeing?
00:02:38You rotten cuts, they think you.
00:02:39That's all you do is sit around.
00:02:40I never saw anything like it in my entire life.
00:02:43I would like to do what I would like to do to you.
00:02:45I would like to take you and shake you until all your feet
00:02:49pull right out of your mouth, onto the floor,
00:02:52and then you're going to take you and shake you until all your feet
00:02:55pull right out of your mouth, onto the floor,
00:02:57and then you know what I'd do?
00:02:58I'd stamp on all the teeth and I'd take them right in the powder,
00:03:01and then I'd trickle the powder right over your head,
00:03:04and then I would not do that in the goddamn space like that.
00:03:08Oh boy!
00:03:09I'd take the nose,
00:03:10and I'd put the floor to the roof on the wall.
00:03:12I'd rather not do it the next week sometimes.
00:03:16Get the difference?
00:03:17I mean, I'm really sore.
00:03:19Now I'm really sore.
00:03:20I am sick to death.
00:03:22I was going to tell you one time,
00:03:23and one time only,
00:03:24so you better listen to me.
00:03:26Because if you don't listen to me now,
00:03:27I ain't going to say it again.
00:03:29I'm going to go out and get myself a two-by-four,
00:03:31and I'm going to beat your fucking head in.
00:03:33You are going to pick a bag for yourself,
00:03:35and now I'm going to pick a bag for you,
00:03:37and you are going to put the seat down in the back of your head.
00:03:40I'm telling you one time,
00:03:42one time,
00:03:43I knew you were not good enough,
00:03:45and I've had it with you,
00:03:46and I have had it with you.
00:03:48Oh!
00:03:49Oh!
00:03:50One time,
00:03:51one time,
00:03:52one time,
00:03:53one time,
00:03:54two time,
00:03:55and you're going to take a bag of thumb.
00:03:56I know you play a game!
00:03:58Don't try to lie to me!
00:04:00So you're sorry,
00:04:01but have a goofy look on your face?
00:04:03You really don't give a goddamn!
00:04:05I know that you're playing a game!
00:04:07Don't think I haven't seen you.
00:04:09I get telephone calls from girls!
00:04:10They call me if God knows why they want you!
00:04:13You! Don't they know how shitty you are in bed?
00:04:21Hey, man. Don't do that.
00:04:23What? Do what?
00:04:25You know what I'm talking about.
00:04:26Oh, what? What the hell are you laying on me, man?
00:04:28Hey, what am I laying nothing on you, man?
00:04:30It's what you laid on me. There's no need to be crude, huh?
00:04:32Now, God damn it. You freaking out or something?
00:04:34Hey, look, Juan, if we can just cash this welfare check,
00:04:37we can get us some Ripple or maybe even some Muscatel.
00:04:39What do you say?
00:04:40Oh, kiss off, dude. That's your problem.
00:04:42You ain't got the guts to admit when you're in the wrong, you know that?
00:04:44You just passed gas at me, man. That's uncool.
00:04:47Oh, wow.
00:04:48You don't have the guts to confess you're a goddamn coward, you know that?
00:04:51You're just like my sister.
00:04:52Oh, wow. You PRs are hypersensitive, you know?
00:04:55I thought you and me were friends.
00:04:57Yeah, a little wig out on my religion now, huh? PR, huh? Nice.
00:05:00Hey, hey, hey. About your sister, Juan.
00:05:02Does she have big tits?
00:05:03I wish you people would learn to speak English.
00:05:08Christ knows we were here first.
00:05:09It's the only way I'm going to talk to a man who has average like a pig.
00:05:12Hey, man, don't be that way.
00:05:14Look, let's get us some wine and go see your sister and maybe we can get it on, huh?
00:05:18It sure beats the hell out of standing here freezing our balls off, right?
00:05:21No deal, man. No deal. I can't trust you no more.
00:05:25I can't let you fuck my sister, you know?
00:05:27You got no class, man.
00:05:28You wouldn't let me fuck your sister. Why should I let you fuck mine?
00:05:31Hey, listen, your sister, you're some piece of ass.
00:05:33I know, man. Yeah.
00:05:36My sister.
00:05:38Oh, wow, man. I can't believe that.
00:05:39Yeah, man. You better believe it.
00:05:41She was a female creature of tender passion, of simple earthen charm, you know?
00:05:47Oh, wow, dude. That's crude.
00:05:49Hmm. Yeah, you could say that.
00:05:52Hey, Juan, you better get back in the phone booth again.
00:05:54I feel a fart coming on.
00:05:55Oh.
00:05:56Check it out.
00:06:10We done came all the way across town, done caught buses and cars and hitchhike to get here,
00:06:17done put on our best clothes so we can walk in this neighborhood,
00:06:21so we can get in one of these white houses,
00:06:23to rip off one of them $400 televisions,
00:06:26one of them $300 watches,
00:06:28one of them Panasonic, Renasonic, Extosonic, Pesto Plastic,
00:06:32Zippo, Zippo, Stereo.
00:06:34With the Quadroflex, Modulextic, Medul Modular Needles and shit.
00:06:38We got to get in one of these shit, man.
00:06:40I ain't never heard of nothing like that.
00:06:42You ain't in this community, blood.
00:06:44That's why we came here, you understand?
00:06:45You mean?
00:06:46You don't know what you're doing, man.
00:06:48I used to be doing this big time, organizing this shit.
00:06:51It's just you, ripping off washing machine and toilet paper.
00:06:55Toilet paper.
00:06:56The unusual odd shit.
00:06:58Now you know why we're here.
00:06:59Okay, now, now, now, now.
00:07:02We're going to crawl in this here window, all right?
00:07:04Yeah.
00:07:04Okay, you take the downstairs, and I take the upstairs.
00:07:08Why is it that I always got to take the downstairs?
00:07:10Because you don't like jumping out of windows, man.
00:07:13Cheat!
00:07:14Now will you cut that out, Fritz?
00:07:17Give me some skin.
00:07:18Hey!
00:07:18Yeah, all right.
00:07:19Hey!
00:07:21Ah, the beauty of Cannabis.
00:07:23And then once we get inside, get everything.
00:07:25Look in the washing machines, please.
00:07:28Somebody's home.
00:07:30Doesn't it fill you with joy?
00:07:31Is that kid smoking?
00:07:32The unfettered exuberance, the lust for life.
00:07:35It makes you...
00:07:36Look at, look how he's smoking.
00:07:39Want to drop your phony inhibitions and love your fellow man?
00:07:42Man, that dope, I'd be...
00:07:43Shit, I'd be...
00:07:44Look at that chick with them titties.
00:07:45Or brother, maybe, doesn't it, huh?
00:07:47That is one, sister.
00:07:51Don't you kind of see things more clearly, huh?
00:07:59That's right.
00:07:59Take a good long drag, sis.
00:08:01That's his sister.
00:08:02Now breathe in the smoke.
00:08:03Sleep.
00:08:04It'll help clear your sinuses.
00:08:05Sleep.
00:08:08Sleep.
00:08:09I feel light-headed.
00:08:10Sleep.
00:08:16That's one, sister, man.
00:08:20He's gonna score!
00:08:27Arriba!
00:08:28Come on!
00:08:41It's like a feature film, you know what I mean?
00:08:58It is!
00:09:08Will it really expand my...
00:09:12...awareness?
00:09:14Well, you know what they say.
00:09:16KT&C.
00:09:19It doesn't clear my sinuses at all.
00:09:23Hey!
00:09:25Daddy says you're only good for getting the papers.
00:09:31Hey!
00:09:32Is that all you're good for free?
00:09:34Oh, that's so trick, huh?
00:09:38Hey, you know the most interesting thing about smoking, it causes excessive perspiration.
00:09:43And a person has to take off all his clothes, otherwise he can drown to death in his own juices.
00:09:48Do what you say.
00:09:49Nuts and nuts.
00:09:50If I get in there, it'd be a nuts and nuts.
00:09:53Shit!
00:09:56Now, this activity is like unofficial respiration.
00:10:00Smoke some water and shit.
00:10:02Damn, man, fuck this.
00:10:05If I get off in this pad, man, since I got to downstairs...
00:10:08Hold it in!
00:10:09I'll knock it out.
00:10:10You'll knock it out if you want.
00:10:12What?
00:10:13I love my brother's friends.
00:10:17Man, he ought to put a bag over that ugly bitch's head.
00:10:21Before I can get...
00:10:22Stick her head in the couch, man.
00:10:23Before I stick my thing in her.
00:10:25And hold on.
00:10:26That makes me kinda horny, man.
00:10:30Yeah.
00:10:31Gotta throb.
00:10:32Doug, man.
00:10:33There's a car coming up the driveway.
00:10:34Shhh.
00:10:35I bet it's old man.
00:10:37Thanks.
00:10:39Is this good for the leaver?
00:10:42Oh, man.
00:10:43Why don't you think this shit broke down?
00:10:47Wow!
00:10:48Cheer, doggy.
00:10:49That's the ugliest mother-buck.
00:10:50Daddy!
00:10:51Look at that snaggled, thick, greasy, fucking nasty pig.
00:10:55Gee, Pops, maybe I should go get the papers, huh?
00:10:58Papers?
00:10:59Why you, you, little son of a bitch.
00:11:02What do you want, Pops?
00:11:03News of the Times.
00:11:04Pink cummy bastard.
00:11:09What?
00:11:10I guess you keyed him.
00:11:12Right in the ass.
00:11:13Guess we can't rob this bad today, huh?
00:11:16Oh, we come back tomorrow.
00:11:17My sister was once in psychoanalysis.
00:11:21She says you're a boy who would fuck his mother.
00:11:24So what have you done for Ralphie?
00:11:26Other than to teach him how to masturbate.
00:11:28And left-handed, no less.
00:11:47No.
00:11:49Oh, you, you better leave her and albo is there anyway.
00:11:56Ah!
00:11:57Ah!
00:12:03All right!
00:12:05Oh, don't Humphrey, like you okay?
00:12:08Yeah, we don't you.
00:12:09will stop.
00:12:10This is a feelings obvery synopsis.
00:12:12That's a curiousła case.
00:12:13If it makes sense, kim let's go.
00:12:15Did it work?
00:12:16Was it any of theúa?
00:12:17You must be new around here.
00:12:29I haven't seen your face before.
00:12:30Oh, yeah.
00:12:32My old lady kicked me out of the house.
00:12:34Yeah, I've had a streak of bad luck lately.
00:12:35And on top of it, she's been making noise.
00:12:37I should go find work.
00:12:45What did you say?
00:12:46Something about work?
00:12:47Yeah.
00:12:48Everybody knows it.
00:12:49That's what kills a man.
00:12:51Yeah.
00:12:54Starts out with an eight-hour day,
00:12:5740 hours a week,
00:12:59and hell, boy, before you know it,
00:13:00you marry some fine-ass woman
00:13:03and buy a house.
00:13:10That'll help you.
00:13:15It's terrible.
00:13:16And work is terrible.
00:13:18Yeah.
00:13:19What the hell do you get for it, anyway?
00:13:22Geez, I don't know.
00:13:23It's just money is all.
00:13:25It's evil.
00:13:26I tell you, it's evil.
00:13:27It all starts from having a wig.
00:13:30It all starts from having a wig.
00:13:31Now, if you don't have to work away, you don't get any money.
00:13:35You know what I mean?
00:13:36It's that simple.
00:13:37Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:38That's what I try to tell my old lady.
00:13:40See, she sent my ass down to the welfare office again,
00:13:42and those creeps started to hit on me
00:13:44about my receiving public assistance for over a year, see?
00:13:47And here was my last...
00:13:49Are you okay?
00:13:51Yeah.
00:13:52It was my last check and all,
00:13:53and I had failed to find employment again.
00:13:55It's just too much bullshit to go through,
00:13:56so I split.
00:13:57It doesn't pay to hit the big time.
00:13:59No.
00:14:00Yeah.
00:14:02Yeah, yeah.
00:14:11Oh, wow.
00:14:17Well, you got any plans, son?
00:14:20Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:14:21I figured I'd sort of settle down here.
00:14:22You know, get away from all the zipper heads of town,
00:14:24not get involved with all the extemporaneous bullshit, you know.
00:14:27Yeah.
00:14:27Hey, by the way, what's your name?
00:14:30Oh, uh, I'm God.
00:14:33Wow, man, that is heavy.
00:14:35You're really God, huh?
00:14:36No shit.
00:14:46You okay?
00:14:47Yeah, I, uh, I've been God for about three and a half years now.
00:14:53A lot of responsibility, you know.
00:14:57Also, I'm, uh, black belt karate.
00:15:05Oh, shit.
00:15:06Wow, this really blows my mind.
00:15:08I mean, me, I'm standing here rapping with God.
00:15:10Far out.
00:15:12You want to be my assistant?
00:15:14Well...
00:15:14I might be forced to give up my job, you know.
00:15:21I can't keep busting my ass this here way, you know.
00:15:24Yeah, yeah.
00:15:26Well, anyway, I've been into some heavy gear in one of my lives.
00:15:29I got nine of them, you know, pal.
00:15:31I got hung up with the weirdest dude one time you could ever imagine.
00:15:34Oh, yeah.
00:15:37Yeah.
00:15:38This guy, I'm thinking I was really psycho.
00:15:40You wouldn't believe it.
00:15:41Uh-uh.
00:15:46Jeez.
00:15:47Jeez.
00:15:47Wow, God, you really do some weird shit, you know.
00:16:10I don't know.
00:16:19Make a fucking world in seven days.
00:16:20Try it sometime.
00:16:21I don't know.
00:16:51I don't know.
00:16:52I don't know.
00:16:53I don't know.
00:16:54And remember, you're brothers and mothers, and all of your fatherland will be watching
00:17:01you, envying in the great glory for which you have been selected.
00:17:08We all have promised to die for the Fuhrer, who wants to be next.
00:17:14We all have promised to die for the Fuhrer, who wants to be next.
00:17:19I'm sorry.
00:17:21I'm sorry.
00:17:23I'm sorry.
00:17:24Mind you, the bombs have just killed your orderly.
00:17:47Ah, another orderly gun.
00:17:51Get me another one.
00:17:53Order, another orderly quickly.
00:17:56Another orderly quickly.
00:17:58Another orderly.
00:17:59Another orderly for the fueler.
00:18:02Put up and out of orderly signs.
00:18:09Find the door.
00:18:11My Liebchen.
00:18:14Oh, Hans, I mean, he was, oh, Hans, I'm sorry, I mean, oh, Hans, oh, Hans, oh, Hans, oh, Hans, oh, Hans, oh.
00:18:30I mean, I mean, I was so good.
00:18:32I ain't get swastika.
00:18:33I thought being a Nazi was all zig zig and zig heil.
00:18:37This is for shit.
00:18:39Better get my ass the fuck out of here.
00:18:41No!
00:18:58Mein Fuhr! Here are the candidates for your orderly!
00:19:06Heil Hitler!
00:19:07Heil!
00:19:09That one!
00:19:11I want that one!
00:19:12Him!
00:19:13That's him!
00:19:29Excuse me, Fuhrer, I didn't mean to stare.
00:19:32What was this?
00:19:33Something missing, maybe?
00:19:35No, no!
00:19:36Everything's fine, but you've only got one ball.
00:19:39Everybody in the Third Reich has to do without something!
00:19:43I see.
00:19:44Ben de Fuhrer is naked!
00:19:46Everyone is naked!
00:19:48Well, here I am, aren't I?
00:19:51Hi!
00:19:52Amosel!
00:19:53Amosel!
00:19:54Amosel!
00:19:55Amosel!
00:19:56Don't you know what is expected of you now?
00:20:00What?
00:20:01I think you dropped something.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04I dropped something?
00:20:05I put the soap in your hand, you see, and you seem to let it go.
00:20:09You know, dropped it like, well, almost like you weren't really interested in washing at all!
00:20:15I was not conscious of that!
00:20:17It is simple to see, my Fuhrer.
00:20:19Your real motivations are blocked here.
00:20:22Right.
00:20:23What is blocked?
00:20:24What is blocked?
00:20:25That's a new word, you know.
00:20:26It means what's inside can't get outside.
00:20:28Oh, I can't get outside.
00:20:29Some kind of Freudian horseshit.
00:20:30Oh, but inside can't get out of your bed.
00:20:34You're a knife.
00:20:39I'm going to make a confession.
00:20:41Okay.
00:20:42Sometimes, you see, I would like to be a ballet dancer.
00:20:45Really?
00:20:46No kidding.
00:20:47I often see myself in the opera.
00:20:49Oh, wow.
00:20:50And the people are applauding me.
00:20:52Well, sure they would.
00:20:53You see, that means this whole number you're doing, I mean, this conquest of the world thing,
00:21:10or whatever it is, is just to get attention.
00:21:13Interesting, you should say that.
00:21:16But I am washing things, so why did I drop that soap?
00:21:21Well, that, my dear Herr Hitler, is a question you must ask yourself when you wrestle with a true identity.
00:21:29You know, it's, I mean, in the dawning of self-awareness between you and your fellow man,
00:21:34when after the labors of sleepless nights you gain the exalted heights of the altar of truth.
00:21:41Oh, you, you have insight.
00:21:43When I see something I want, I grab it by.
00:21:46Well, sure, why not?
00:21:48Yeah, my stomach doesn't stop to ask my head if it's hungry.
00:21:52No, it is.
00:21:53By the way, what is your name?
00:21:58Um, Fritz.
00:22:00Well, Fritz?
00:22:02You say you once had three balls?
00:22:05Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah.
00:22:07Would you like to try for one?
00:22:09Oh, one!
00:22:10Oh, well, sir!
00:22:12Oh!
00:22:13Listen, OK, OK, OK.
00:22:15Now look, I'm going to pick up the soap.
00:22:18I am, I am, just wait.
00:22:20I'm going to bend over now, just...
00:22:23Watch it!
00:22:25Will you,か?
00:22:26I can't get away with it!
00:22:28Oh my god, what?
00:22:30Ich bin der Führer!
00:22:39Gee, Führer, now you got no balls.
00:22:42Mein Führer.
00:22:44Gentlemen, we can no longer continue.
00:22:49Ja, war is just a question of balls.
00:22:52Ja, balls.
00:22:53Balls, balls, balls.
00:22:55Goebbels. Goebbels, are you not my most loyal and truthful assistant?
00:23:01Jawohl, mein Führer.
00:23:02And did you not invent the slogan which binds all us Nazis?
00:23:06Jawohl, mein Führer.
00:23:08And what is that slogan?
00:23:09Death before dishonor.
00:23:11What a Nash-Holz-Slogan.
00:23:13You can always change the slogan.
00:23:16You must think of Fräulein Braun.
00:23:26She needs you.
00:23:27Ja, think of Eva.
00:23:29How she would miss you, Adolf.
00:23:31That's right.
00:23:34After all, who could take my place?
00:23:39Siegfried!
00:23:46You should have told Eva.
00:24:03Oh, my God.
00:24:33I got that Nazi rat bastard right between the crack and his ass.
00:24:57Now, how do those sons of bitches expect to win a war when they're out of goddamn uniform?
00:25:03Huh?
00:25:06I don't have any time to do anything for myself.
00:25:09I don't even have time to get myself a new diaphragm.
00:25:11You know, if you hold up to the light, you can even see little pinholes.
00:25:14Fritz, I'm tired of plugging it up with chapstick.
00:25:18Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:25:25Out of my shop.
00:25:27I won't cash you check.
00:25:28And there's no such thing as a refund on all of those things.
00:25:31Just cause you say it don't fit quite right, huh?
00:25:33Well, yeah, but it's never been used, Nick.
00:25:35I'll even take a prorated refund.
00:25:37It was used.
00:25:38Well, only a little equipment.
00:25:45Well, I bet I know who this was used on to, huh?
00:25:48Well, okay, Nicky, you're wrong.
00:25:50Try to guess who.
00:25:51Let's see now.
00:25:52Would you feel the taste?
00:25:54Let's see.
00:25:54It must be a fat one, right?
00:25:56Yeah, right, right.
00:25:56And I'll just bet she's sweat a lot and she smell like a goat, huh?
00:26:02Right?
00:26:03Right, right.
00:26:05And she's got bad breath in those hips.
00:26:08Yes, yes.
00:26:08Go on.
00:26:09Go on.
00:26:09You're getting warmer.
00:26:11And she's got a big, hairy, goddamn garlic mustache on the top of the head.
00:26:17Damn, man.
00:26:20And I'll bet that the fucking hole will be with every guy in this block, right?
00:26:26Nicky, you're a genius.
00:26:31Hey, Nicky.
00:26:32Nicky, you only left out one thing.
00:26:35Hey, what's the enemy, my friend?
00:26:37You know what?
00:26:37She's got the clap.
00:26:42Ah, that's right.
00:26:43Oh, my God.
00:26:44That's right.
00:26:45How could I skip it at the net, would you?
00:26:47You've got to have the clap, right?
00:26:52Hey, Fred.
00:26:53What did I tell you, son?
00:26:55You're not so bad, you know?
00:26:56Hey.
00:26:56Maybe, maybe I'll cash you a check after a while.
00:26:59Oh, Nicky.
00:27:00Hey, hey, Fred.
00:27:01Hey, Fred.
00:27:02Hey, tell me, what's this fat horse pig's name?
00:27:04What's the broad name?
00:27:05Gina.
00:27:07Hey, Fred.
00:27:08What?
00:27:09That's my wife's name.
00:27:10Huh?
00:27:10Gina's my wife's name.
00:27:12She don't have the clap.
00:27:13Oh.
00:27:14No!
00:27:14Well, she does now.
00:27:17Hi, you buffered arm.
00:27:18You fucking cat, I rip your balls off.
00:27:21Get the fuck out of my shop.
00:27:22Fuck off.
00:27:23You fucking cat.
00:27:25I kill you.
00:27:26I fuck you in the ass.
00:27:28Get out.
00:27:28Hey, Fred, man.
00:27:29What's all this noise about?
00:27:30I mean, I could hear all the way from the alley.
00:27:33Go, Gina.
00:27:34Come here.
00:27:35Oh, nothing.
00:27:36Nicky can't take a joke.
00:27:37He takes things too seriously.
00:27:39It's hard not to around here, man.
00:27:41It gets pretty fucking deadly sometimes.
00:27:43I mean, I heard it was better years ago.
00:27:45You know what I mean?
00:27:46Well, yeah, but you know, Lenny, things have always been a more or less up and down situation.
00:27:50I mean, this street wasn't always a shithouse, let me tell you.
00:27:53And even as far back as the 30s, there were those that gave and those that took.
00:27:56Yeah, if it's...
00:27:57Yeah, but what do I do with this here thing?
00:27:59Huh?
00:28:00Oh, you can have it.
00:28:01I'm done with it anyway.
00:28:02You know, when I was back in the 30s, I was one very sharp continental type stud.
00:28:05I'm done with it.
00:28:35I'm done with it.
00:29:05And it is up to you to support and make it work.
00:29:30When you're speaking in the last tense
00:29:41And the things you say make no sense
00:29:43To any other mother, son, but you
00:29:47And when the past is ever-present
00:29:50And your prospects ain't too pleasant
00:29:53There's only one thing left for you to do
00:29:56You've got to jump back
00:29:59When your soul is out to write
00:30:02Do the jump back
00:30:04You don't have to testify
00:30:06To get yourself on back
00:30:09Back from that range of track
00:30:12Do the jump back
00:30:14Oh, try it
00:30:26Well, you signed up for the new deal
00:30:38But still it had that old feel
00:30:40You felt that you were somehow incomplete
00:30:43So you hung in a weatherly light
00:30:47That was over one night
00:30:50When they found out what you learned down on the street
00:30:53You've got to jump back
00:30:56But it can't matter what you know
00:30:59Do the jump back
00:31:01Oh, pack it in and go
00:31:04You may lose your self-control
00:31:06But you'll never, ever know
00:31:09Do the jump back
00:31:11Oh, yeah
00:31:14You're a product of a dream
00:31:34So you live it
00:31:36But that dream ain't what you see
00:31:39Oh, no, is it
00:31:41Oh, no, is it
00:34:11Do the jump back, you got the right track.
00:34:15Do the jump back, you got the right track.
00:34:19Do the jump back, you got the right track.
00:34:25Do the jump back.
00:34:28Hey Putz, your idea helping out with the gas shortage was to stop eating pizza and bring home four of your hook of friends to sleep with us at night to stimulate heat.
00:34:38Look, I don't know how you can own a business and not be able to cash this miserable pittance of a welfare check is all.
00:34:45If I give you all my money, I'll have nothing left to buy of it.
00:34:50Oh, Christ, then you are in luck, Morris. Look at this. Knowing of your love for the unusual, I've brought you something I know you won't be able to resist.
00:34:58I could resist. Believe me, I could resist.
00:35:00Well, just look at it, Morris. The design, the gentle contours. Why, it's almost Louis Cass, for Christ's sake.
00:35:06It's disgusting, for Christ's sake.
00:35:08No, no, no, no. It's the type of item that will sell so fast, you'll be pleading for more inside of a week. Believe me.
00:35:14No, I am not a god myself. Brother Bob, it's been used. I can't tell.
00:35:19What used? By a little old lady, a one-owner shitter, and genteel.
00:35:24That's gentile, you stupid bastard. Don't get hostile.
00:35:28That's hostile. You're taking the wrong approach, Morris. Now, some of my best friends are Jewish.
00:35:33Do I look like the Chase Manhattan Bank? You come in here with a hard-of-money look in your face?
00:35:38Look like you got hit in the head with a vile pitch, and you want to sell me this?
00:35:42Yes. But with inflation, the value of a dollar going down, my expenses skyrocketing.
00:35:48Why, even this week, the price of a decent circumcision. Something I shudder to think about.
00:35:53Well, yeah, I agree with you there, but, uh, what's that got to do with my toilet seat?
00:36:01Ah, that's the point, my friend. My old sader used to say to me,
00:36:06Morris, take a pickle. It's made for eating. The thing you're holding is made for shitting.
00:36:14It's simple logic. You could even be a Rockefeller. It's tough to find a good pickle.
00:36:19I have helped more women with their marital problems, but some people come in to see me.
00:36:23Well, socioeconomically speaking, you're absolutely correct.
00:36:26Look, Fritz, the pickles are beginning to get to me. And these days, a soft stool is too important to me for something to quibble.
00:36:36So I'll make your deal. Tell you what I'm going to do.
00:36:39Yeah?
00:36:40You give me the seat, I'll trade for your bargain.
00:36:42Where did you get this thing?
00:36:51Questions. You told the time questions.
00:36:55Nowadays, people don't know an opportunity when it smacks them upside of the face.
00:36:59I think I've been screwed.
00:37:01With that, you could be the next man on the moon.
00:37:04Fuck the moon. I've been further than that once. That's no big deal. I'd rather take a shit.
00:37:08So would I. Give me the seat.
00:37:09I'm going to hit you on top of the head, and this should cure you. There we go.
00:37:13I say, heal. Heal, Mr. Cobb. Heal.
00:37:16Through the power vested in me by God Jesus Christ, I'm going to heal you, Mr. Cobb.
00:37:20Hello, world. This is the event mankind has been waiting for.
00:37:25The first manned launch to Mars.
00:37:28Hey, Fritz, I've got to tell you something right out in front.
00:37:32If it wouldn't be for this fucking cold, I'd be going all the way to Mars with you.
00:37:37Thirty-nine million miles. A dropkick.
00:37:40But the doc says I can't fly with this cold. It's bad for the ears.
00:37:44He says something about me popping a drum or something. I don't know.
00:37:51Geez, I've got to get some more banaca.
00:37:53Put that in my bring-ups, will you?
00:37:54Fritz, you know how I hate to bother you when you're getting near the pad, but we've got to make a decision on the Polygrip account.
00:38:02I can see you with a package of five spots for the Japanese and Taiwan market.
00:38:06Incidentally, the residuals will be unreal.
00:38:09It's eight million yen for every 13-week cycle, and you don't have to declare it.
00:38:13You know, there's a whole cult of denture adhesive freaks out there just waiting for a leader.
00:38:19Some of them still got their own teeth.
00:38:21Am I bothering you with all this, Fritz?
00:38:24My God, Fritz, I've got to get some air in here. I feel myself slipping away.
00:38:28Now, I know you're against charities and benefits and freebies, but hear me out on this one, Fritzie.
00:38:33Hey, there's a nationwide charity telethon coming up the first of next month for the further development of all vegetable, organically grown, polyunsaturated Preparation H with suntan oil.
00:38:46Jerry Lewis is going to be there, everybody.
00:38:48And before you shut me off, I've got to tell you, the exposure will be sensational for you.
00:38:53And we might even have a spin-off on a new movie that's coming out with Frankie Avalon and that footage of the cello called Beach Ball Piles.
00:39:01Well, Fritz, I see we arrived at the pad, so this will give you some things to think about on a 39 million mile trip.
00:39:08And remember, Fritz, sweetheart, I'd bewitch you all the way it wouldn't be for this fucking cold.
00:39:17Ah, damn, that chick wouldn't look bad holding up a Hershey's bar, would she?
00:39:22What nuts.
00:39:28Ah, freedom of the press!
00:39:30Yes, I feel sorry for the poor slob.
00:39:32I wouldn't make that trip with him with six points.
00:39:35Hey, Fritz, baby!
00:39:37Wanna talk to Walter?
00:39:38Why not?
00:39:39Fritz, was being the first to set foot on Mars, golly, kinda give you goosebumps?
00:39:45Mm-hmm!
00:39:46Gentlemen, I've been up and down the four corners of this big old world, and I've seen it all, and I've done it all.
00:39:53I've fought many a good man and laid many a good woman.
00:39:56And I've had riches, fame, and adventure, too.
00:39:59Yes, I've stood eyeball to eyeball with death countless times, and never, never once squinted.
00:40:07Oh, I've tasted life to the fullest, and still my tortured soul cries out.
00:40:11More!
00:40:12More!
00:40:12More!
00:40:13More!
00:40:13Oh, shit!
00:40:14Oh, oh, God, can there be any more?
00:40:16How do it feel, Fritz?
00:40:19I mean, man, like Mars ain't around the corner.
00:40:22Oh, you're so right.
00:40:24Hey, would you like to discuss this in private?
00:40:27Gee, you've got a lovely pair of eyes.
00:40:30In private?
00:40:31Mm-hmm.
00:40:31Yeah, sure.
00:40:32Listen, doll, I'd kinda like to give you a break.
00:40:34You know, kind of help pay back for what my people did to your people.
00:40:38Yeah?
00:40:39What kind of a break?
00:40:40Well, you know, an exclusive, uh, inside story.
00:40:45Hey, Fritz, wait a second.
00:40:47Wait.
00:40:47Come on, what about us?
00:40:48Hey, what about a statement?
00:40:49Give me some writing to her.
00:40:50Come on.
00:40:51He's on.
00:40:51Oh, man.
00:41:10Fritz, we're first.
00:41:21We're carrying both things.
00:41:22Oh, man.
00:41:23Oh, man.
00:41:25Oh, man.
00:41:26Oh, man.
00:41:28Oh, man.
00:41:29Oh, man.
00:41:31Oh, man.
00:41:32Oh, man.
00:41:34Oh, baby.
00:41:37Oh, man.
00:41:38Oh, man.
00:41:40we interrupt this telecast of the first flight to mars for a message of real importance
00:41:50as chairman of the board of the golf oil company with its 13 000 dealers from coast to coast
00:41:58i want to welcome you all to this momentous event when you drive into one of our golf stations
00:42:06say howdy to the man who polishes your window and we'll say howdy right back at you
00:42:13at this very minute you can look at one of our own golf refineries pumping away seven days a week
00:42:2324 hours a day filling your tanks with gasoline we at golf oil are bringing you this telecast
00:42:32in appreciation of the millions of happy golf customers when they say fill her up what's
00:42:39that i hear
00:42:40geez look at the money they put in that rocket you can buy time on the walkings for a year
00:42:49with that kind of bread you know i wonder how you put a deal like that together that's fascinating
00:42:57my brother-in-law like a rocket like that
00:43:20that's fascinating
00:43:39gee look at that well there he goes when he gets back we'll make millions
00:43:52wow geez i hope they got that explosion on tape it'd be perfect for our forest lawn spots
00:44:19here
00:44:26here
00:44:30here
00:44:33here
00:44:34here
00:44:40Mr. Cobb, heal Mr. Cobb, heal
00:44:45heal through the power invested in me
00:44:47by God Jesus Christ
00:44:49I'm gonna heal you Mr. Cobb
00:44:50heal Mr. Cobb
00:44:52Mr. Cobb
00:45:10let me make one thing very clear
00:45:37I am not a crook
00:45:39why don't you climb up off your ass
00:45:42remember I was telling you
00:45:43you should get to be a contestant
00:45:44on let's make a deal
00:45:45I'll tell you what
00:45:46you dress up like a frog
00:45:47you look good and green
00:45:48and wear a yarmulke
00:45:49I think he likes Jewish people
00:45:51man am I hung up
00:45:59strung out and uptight
00:46:01hey god damn it
00:46:06I know that laugh
00:46:07hey man it couldn't be
00:46:16hey man
00:46:19you in a bag
00:46:20hey Duke is it really you
00:46:22no shit
00:46:25but I thought you were dead man
00:46:26I mean I thought they got you
00:46:28Prince you ain't changed a bit
00:46:31you still don't know where it's at
00:46:34what are you doing down here in a way
00:46:37oh well I'm looking for the true meaning of my existence as usual
00:46:40I got tired of the pseudo-intellectuals
00:46:42and the super hype
00:46:43bullshitters running the world
00:46:45determining my destiny
00:46:47you dig it
00:46:48and crushing my creative juices
00:46:50now lay the straight line on me
00:46:55my old lady kicked my ass out
00:46:56that's what I figured
00:46:58yeah
00:46:59but you know Duke
00:47:00it's gonna be better for all of us
00:47:02really
00:47:03no shit
00:47:05yeah I heard that somewhere before
00:47:12no no that's no bullshit
00:47:14there's better days ahead
00:47:15I kid you not
00:47:16we brothers got some great times rolling our way man
00:47:19oh
00:47:20yeah
00:47:20now we're brothers
00:47:23right on
00:47:23no telly how black we'll be
00:47:26by the time the little chat in
00:47:28yeah take my word for it
00:47:29I know
00:47:30hey Duke
00:47:30you ever hear of New Jersey
00:47:32huh
00:47:33sure
00:47:33you ever heard of Reach Off
00:47:37yeah
00:47:38hey and I tell you
00:47:39you crows are finally gonna come into your own
00:47:42you wait and see
00:47:43yeah I'll come into the ghetto
00:47:44talking some stuff
00:47:46ought to cut the jaguar
00:47:48twenty five
00:48:01ready
00:48:02aim
00:48:04fire
00:48:05twenty six
00:48:08hey mate
00:48:25your number's up
00:48:27come on let's get to this
00:48:29well look
00:48:31please sir
00:48:32you got the wrong guy
00:48:34don't push
00:48:37at least let me tell you the way it happened
00:48:40fella
00:48:41huh
00:48:41Prince
00:48:43go over to the White House
00:48:46and pick up a package
00:48:47yes sir
00:48:48Mr. President
00:48:54you've got to do something
00:48:56believe me
00:48:57there's nothing to worry about
00:49:00nothing to worry about
00:49:03this
00:49:04this
00:49:04what's his name
00:49:06Imaku
00:49:07well whatever
00:49:08is suggesting that
00:49:09New Africa
00:49:09make a federation
00:49:10with Cuba
00:49:11China
00:49:12Africa
00:49:13and Northern Ireland
00:49:14I never did trust a nigger
00:49:16but you voted in favor
00:49:17of giving them New Jersey
00:49:18the final solution
00:49:19to the Swaps
00:49:20a problem
00:49:21you said
00:49:21and we get rid of the
00:49:23Puerto Ricans
00:49:23and you can't get a decent
00:49:25shoe shine
00:49:25in the whole of America
00:49:26I haven't seen a decent
00:49:28football game
00:49:29in ten years
00:49:30Honduras beat us
00:49:32in the Olympics
00:49:33you know what that means
00:49:34we have a whole country
00:49:36full of niggers
00:49:36angry niggers
00:49:38right across the river
00:49:39from New York
00:49:39they could fart
00:49:41and destroy Washington
00:49:42no no no no
00:49:47all we have to do
00:49:48is keep
00:49:49President Supreme Jackson
00:49:51in office
00:49:52come in
00:49:55come in
00:49:55Mr. President
00:49:56I'm from the messenger service
00:49:58it's about time
00:49:59now deliver this to
00:50:00President Supreme Jackson
00:50:01in New Jersey
00:50:02I mean
00:50:03New Africa
00:50:04well that's where he is
00:50:05but
00:50:06I heard these crows
00:50:08don't let whites
00:50:09in their country
00:50:09how long have you been
00:50:11with the Red Arrow
00:50:12delivery service
00:50:13oh today's my first day
00:50:14I used to be on welfare
00:50:15go to the motor pool
00:50:22and get a car
00:50:23and a pass
00:50:24yes sir
00:50:24remember
00:50:26this is important
00:50:27to our national security
00:50:28so don't fail
00:50:29no I won't fail sir
00:50:30please
00:50:31stop kissing my hand
00:50:33yes sir
00:50:33and touching my parts
00:50:35hey
00:50:38can I help you
00:50:39yeah
00:50:39I want to see the man in charge
00:50:41and I'm in charge here
00:50:42I came to get a car
00:50:43and a pass
00:50:44into New Africa
00:50:45okay
00:50:46I'll get you a car
00:50:47and a pass
00:50:48to Niggerville
00:50:48this is a lovely engine Mazda
00:50:52them niggers
00:50:54will steal anything
00:50:54they can
00:50:55no sense
00:50:56than risking
00:50:57a new car
00:50:57to go over there
00:50:58we ain't got anybody
00:51:00to wash them up
00:51:00no more
00:51:01here you go
00:51:02thanks
00:51:04hey uh
00:51:05if uh
00:51:08if you're going
00:51:09to New Africa
00:51:10yeah
00:51:11I
00:51:12I got a wife
00:51:14and kid over there
00:51:15yeah
00:51:16they had to go
00:51:17with their people
00:51:17when they gave
00:51:18the blacks
00:51:18New Jersey
00:51:19no shit
00:51:20could you
00:51:21kind of
00:51:22well there's a lot
00:51:23of blacks
00:51:23you were married
00:51:24to a colored woman
00:51:25shit
00:51:25that's ten years
00:51:26in a sliver
00:51:27yeah look
00:51:28look I don't expect
00:51:29you to look for them
00:51:30but if
00:51:31if you should happen
00:51:32to see them
00:51:32will you tell them
00:51:33to tell them
00:51:35I said hi
00:51:36yeah
00:51:37I wonder
00:51:47I wonder
00:51:48if there's still
00:51:48over there
00:51:49okay
00:51:53good
00:51:54oh hey
00:51:56how do I find
00:51:57President
00:51:57Supreme Jackson
00:51:58wave a dollar bill
00:52:00oh yeah
00:52:02thanks
00:52:03yeah
00:52:04black is beautiful
00:52:05like they say
00:52:06huh
00:52:06huh
00:52:07I hear
00:52:31thirsty gentle voices
00:52:33oh
00:52:35hey man
00:52:39hey hey
00:52:39hey Roscoe
00:52:41that
00:52:41that broad man
00:52:43that ugly broad
00:52:44hey man
00:52:45whoo whoo
00:52:46is you gonna say
00:52:47hello to your old lady
00:52:48oh watch out now
00:52:49watch out
00:52:49that bitch is too ugly
00:52:50for you to say hello
00:52:51to her public
00:52:52shoot
00:52:53I go with her
00:52:54a lot quicker
00:52:55than I go with your mama
00:52:56shoot
00:52:57she's so ugly
00:52:58your daddy
00:52:59don't even want
00:52:59to go with her
00:53:00shit
00:53:01who's talking
00:53:03shit
00:53:05if ugliness
00:53:05was electricity
00:53:06your mama
00:53:07be walking
00:53:07in a powerhouse
00:53:08oh man
00:53:09dig that
00:53:10that's light shit
00:53:10that's light shit
00:53:11I mean your mama
00:53:11look like 10 miles
00:53:13of bad road
00:53:14nigga
00:53:14I mean
00:53:15your mama
00:53:15got a face
00:53:16that looked like
00:53:16it been run over
00:53:17by a bus
00:53:18and everybody
00:53:18kept telling her
00:53:19how good she looked
00:53:20until it healed
00:53:21and then
00:53:22so she's been
00:53:22jumping in front
00:53:23of buses
00:53:24ever since
00:53:24oh
00:53:24man
00:53:29I don't want
00:53:30to hear that
00:53:31oh hey
00:53:37look at that
00:53:38oh
00:53:42some pair
00:53:43of gazongas
00:53:44there
00:53:44that isn't
00:53:46a little young
00:53:47but then
00:53:48what the hell
00:53:49these chicks
00:53:50know where it's
00:53:50at by the time
00:53:51they're 11
00:53:51anyway
00:53:52I don't want
00:53:54to hear that
00:53:55I don't want
00:53:56to hear that
00:53:56I don't want
00:53:57to hear that
00:53:57I don't want
00:53:58to hear that
00:53:58I don't want
00:53:58to hear that
00:53:59I don't want
00:53:59to hear that
00:54:00I don't want
00:54:01to hear that
00:54:01I don't want
00:54:02to hear that
00:54:02I don't want
00:54:03to hear that
00:54:03I don't want
00:54:04to hear that
00:54:04I don't want
00:54:05to hear that
00:54:05I don't want
00:54:06to hear that
00:54:06I don't want
00:54:07to hear that
00:54:07I don't want
00:54:08to hear that
00:54:08I don't want
00:54:09to hear that
00:54:09I don't want
00:54:10to hear that
00:54:10I don't want
00:54:11to hear that
00:54:12I don't want
00:54:13to hear that
00:54:14I don't want
00:54:15to hear that
00:54:16I don't want
00:54:17to hear that
00:54:18How do I get to the black house?
00:54:31You take the number 20 bus on the corner.
00:54:34Oh, you do know where the corner is, don't you, honky?
00:54:37Yeah.
00:54:48Oh, somebody help.
00:55:03Oh, help.
00:55:06Hey, hey, man.
00:55:07Huh?
00:55:07Come on, help me, man, please.
00:55:09Oh, man.
00:55:11Hey, what's the matter?
00:55:12Well, the gang, man, they run up.
00:55:15Oh, Jesus.
00:55:18Hey, help.
00:55:21There's a man hurt in the alley.
00:55:22Help me, somebody.
00:55:26Where?
00:55:27Back here.
00:55:30He hurt bad.
00:55:32Hey, look, there's a phone down the block.
00:55:35Go and call the ambulance.
00:55:48Hello?
00:55:58Operator, give me the hospital.
00:56:00Give you what?
00:56:01Hospital sick, doctor.
00:56:03Pain, hurt, you know.
00:56:04Just a minute, mister.
00:56:06Looking for a doctor of fact.
00:56:08Information number 3070.
00:56:10Hey, is that 1317 or is that 3070?
00:56:13You making fun of me?
00:56:15No, no.
00:56:16I just want to get it.
00:56:17You sound like you're white.
00:56:18You're white.
00:56:19What's that got to do with anything?
00:56:22Honky, what you doing talking on a new African phone?
00:56:25Trying to get a hospital.
00:56:27You're going to need one the way you're making fun of people.
00:56:30Look, all I want to know is if the number is 1317 or 3070 or what?
00:56:35You're such a smartass.
00:56:37You figure it out.
00:56:41My opponent has accused me of dodging the issues.
00:56:44Let me say this about that.
00:56:46Issues is the only thing I'm not dodging.
00:56:52Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:56:53Two more.
00:56:54Two more of the same.
00:56:55Yeah, right.
00:56:55No, no.
00:56:57What am I going to do, man?
00:56:58I mean, I work.
00:56:59I think I look good.
00:57:00Hey, look, I'll take you away from your work.
00:57:01I'll take you away from your work.
00:57:03You know, I'm going to have about five children.
00:57:05And when I saw Jimi Hendrix, I never saw anybody play a guitar player.
00:57:09He took a guitar one time and had it around his neck, right?
00:57:13And it was a girl in the audience that he was dedicating the song to.
00:57:16And he took it, spun it around his neck, right?
00:57:18He's got it on his neck, right?
00:57:19And it's going around.
00:57:20Then he takes it, throws it down between his legs and jerks it off.
00:57:23That's right.
00:57:24He jerks it off, man.
00:57:25I couldn't believe it.
00:57:27And he threw it right back around his and then started playing with his teeth.
00:57:30That's right.
00:57:31That's him.
00:57:31And then after he played with his teeth, he dropped it down to some light and fluid.
00:57:36You see it on the album.
00:57:37That's the concert.
00:57:38I mean, you know, I just decided that I just wanted to be a prostitute.
00:57:42Oh, honey.
00:57:43Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:57:44I just wanted my baby.
00:57:45Tell me I can give me some fars.
00:57:48It's a pass.
00:57:48Come on, bro.
00:57:49How you doing?
00:57:50Look.
00:57:50Okay, look back.
00:57:51Nigga, you stepped on my shine.
00:57:54I stepped on your shine with you.
00:57:55Man, you better get the fuck out of my face.
00:57:57What you talking about?
00:57:58I got a third, man.
00:57:59I'll cut you.
00:58:01Shoot you, man.
00:58:02Nigga, you stepped outside.
00:58:03Nigga, look here, nigga.
00:58:05You better back on up.
00:58:06I'll cut you from here to tomorrow.
00:58:08Back up who?
00:58:08That's right, nigga.
00:58:09I'll cut you so goddamn fast.
00:58:11You won't bleed to tomorrow, nigga.
00:58:12You better get out of my face.
00:58:13Yeah, pull easy.
00:58:14You got change for a dollar.
00:58:16Hoo, hoo, hoo.
00:58:18Well, look here.
00:58:21A real-life fight, don't you?
00:58:24Yeah.
00:58:26Isn't anybody going to break up that fight?
00:58:28Hey, nigga, they all fight, sucker.
00:58:30Shit.
00:58:31Hey, they just roof him.
00:58:33Oh, why the door is in this joint?
00:58:34Here you go.
00:58:35Oh, thanks.
00:58:36You got a phone?
00:58:37All right, got ripped off.
00:58:38There's one down the street over.
00:58:39Fine.
00:58:51Help, sir.
00:58:52Somebody.
00:58:53Police!
00:59:03Oh.
00:59:04Mm-hmm.
00:59:05I got five dollars, so you ain't gonna buy that number.
00:59:08In fact, I put my gold teeth down and you can't make that number with a pencil and a sheet of pe...
00:59:12Who goes there?
00:59:15Excuse me.
00:59:16It don't bother me, man.
00:59:17I'm hot.
00:59:17Well, um, can you tell me where to find President Supreme Jackson?
00:59:20That's...
00:59:21Oh, where are you?
00:59:23Man, yeah, he's right inside.
00:59:24I've been messing up my feet.
00:59:25Go ahead.
00:59:25You can't make that money.
00:59:26Go on.
00:59:27Seven.
00:59:27You're a bed fire.
00:59:32Now, what is it?
00:59:34Message for the White House.
00:59:35The hunky prez.
00:59:36The White House?
00:59:37Give me the message.
00:59:38Well, what does it say?
00:59:42It says that we attempt an assassination and blame it on a mock-who, man.
00:59:49Attempt to assassinate who?
00:59:52You fool!
00:59:53Don't worry, man.
00:59:54We'll get an expert shot, man, and all he'll do is wound you.
00:59:57Wound me?
00:59:58We've got to make it look real.
01:00:00Fuck that shit.
01:00:01I ain't gonna let nobody shoot me.
01:00:03The answer is no.
01:00:04Man, I ain't gonna lose this election.
01:00:07If I've got to get shot, you are.
01:00:30Not necessarily.
01:00:32Fritz, Jill and Joan want to talk to you.
01:00:35Okay, thanks.
01:00:37I'm from...
01:00:40Yeah, yeah, I know when the hell you're from.
01:00:43Don't anybody move.
01:00:44What's this?
01:00:45We found you was bugging our conference, spying on the movements, tapping the telephones,
01:00:48and telling the papers I use hair straightener.
01:00:51How dare you.
01:00:53Where's Jackson?
01:00:54He's dead.
01:00:55Don't you bullshit me.
01:00:56I'm not.
01:00:57Killed by an American spy.
01:01:00What?
01:01:01I didn't kill anybody.
01:01:02Then why would they kill Jackson?
01:01:03Because Jackson was a real brother.
01:01:06They ain't gonna let this murder go unavenged.
01:01:10The council has just declared war on the United States.
01:01:14And dig that.
01:01:14Well, I don't know.
01:01:22I don't want to cross to it.
01:01:25You know?
01:01:26I don't know.
01:01:32You know?
01:04:33Goddammit, give me a chance to get my head together, man.
01:04:36Now what is it?
01:04:38President of the United States.
01:04:40Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, ladies and gentlemen, as Commander-in-Chief of all the United States military forces, I surrender.
01:05:02What?
01:05:06Surrender?
01:05:07What the hell do you mean, surrender?
01:05:09Hey, man, you better get back to fighting.
01:05:11You folks ain't never lost a war.
01:05:13Shit, you can win.
01:05:15We getting them whiteys back.
01:05:16Unconditional surrender.
01:05:18Unconditional surrender.
01:05:20That's your ass, Jones.
01:05:24The crimes against the Southern Republic of New Africa and the assassination of our beloved President Supreme Jackson, you've been ordered executed this day.
01:05:35You got a last request?
01:05:36Uh, yes.
01:05:37Uh, yes.
01:05:37Uh, yes.
01:05:38Please don't shoot me.
01:05:41Ready?
01:05:42Aim.
01:05:43Fire!
01:05:44I bet you voted for Nixon.
01:05:46Did you by any chance, Mr. Smartass, pop some of my birth control pills?
01:05:50Oh, shit.
01:05:53Ralphie just peed on my shoes.
01:05:59Ah, Christ, is it refreshing to get away from the pressures of the street.
01:06:06There's much to be said for the advantages of isolation.
01:06:10It allows one total freedom to pick and choose without the forces of society that wear you down.
01:06:19Uh, hey.
01:06:22We'll take the example of the influence of our present-day culture.
01:06:26It typifies humanity's lack of personal concern for others.
01:06:41Hey, fuck you, you inconsiderate bastards!
01:06:44You just sit there on your fat asses and dump on life indiscriminately.
01:06:48I suppose I should learn to accept the minuscule distractions in life, doll.
01:07:03Oh, shit.
01:07:04The sacred horn of Vishnu wakes you up.
01:07:12Do wake up, please, young Caucasian, because I have come to save your very soul.
01:07:16What?
01:07:16Are you sure you want me?
01:07:18Mm-hmm.
01:07:18It is not possible that I could be an error.
01:07:22You see, my good book here, it guides me as I wander through the vast cosmic universe of my experience with only astroflash and good vibes as my bad fellow.
01:07:33Hey, wait a minute.
01:07:34I can't get behind that, really.
01:07:35Aren't those the yellow pages?
01:07:39Oh, man.
01:07:40Could you not do that?
01:07:42Please do wash my feet.
01:07:43Wash my feet, Caucasian one.
01:07:45Especially the left one.
01:07:47Only this morning I stepped in sacred cow shit.
01:07:50Oh, well, hey, hey, hey, wow, man, hold on now.
01:07:54I'm not really into washing cow shit off anybody's feet.
01:07:57Oh, this is truly a bad woman.
01:08:00I, Jabber Albin Huotarica, son of the most ample, Jabber Albin Huotarica, senior, have been truly affronted.
01:08:07Well, look, look, I didn't mean to offend you, man.
01:08:09Shh, shh, shh.
01:08:10Silence.
01:08:11There is no need to explain.
01:08:14Oh, oh, oh, yeah, that's right.
01:08:17Very nice.
01:08:18The brass horn of Vishnu announces that I am the second of two sent from the east to also would send from the west.
01:08:25No matter.
01:08:26It was to cure those, those foreign forjunits afflicted with the leprosy.
01:08:31Oh, jeez, that's really a shame because I've seen a lot of disease down here, but no leprosy so far.
01:08:36No leprosy, no running sores, nothing like that?
01:08:39No, nothing like that, no.
01:08:40Oh, this is most disturbing news.
01:08:42All but chronic backache, hmm?
01:08:44No, no, none of my friends have that either, I don't think.
01:08:47Well, then, then perhaps the dreaded dandruff or a very heartbreak of psoriasis, hmm?
01:08:52No, I don't, I'll tell you the truth, I think you're a little late.
01:08:54See, I think that went down a long time ago.
01:08:56I could tell you a story if you cared.
01:08:58Well, if you could possibly make it short because there is a strong possibility that I should be in Phyllidil here.
01:09:03Hey, Jesus, this stuff is dynamite.
01:09:18Dynamite, the eyes of my own soul staring back at me.
01:09:24God knows I've lived the best lives I was capable of.
01:09:27My minor infractions of society's rules will only do.
01:09:31Oh, please, Lucifer, don't take me.
01:09:34I'm not ready, I'll change.
01:09:36I'm already changing, look at me, look at me change.
01:09:38Oh, my God, what a way to go.
01:09:40Uh, excuse me, uh, certainly, hello.
01:09:47Yoo-hoo down there.
01:09:48Excuse me, did, did anyone find an earring?
01:09:51I mean, I, I dropped my earring in the trash, you'd recognize it.
01:09:54It opens on one side, it's kind of a jade color.
01:09:57It's got a picture of, uh, Errol Flynn and Alan L naked.
01:09:59Oh, Jesus Christ, Lucifer's a faggot.
01:10:04Jesus Christ, my life is shit.
01:10:07I'd have get knocked up.
01:10:08I could have had an abortion.
01:10:12No.
01:10:13Mr. Good Time Charlie over there.
01:10:16No, he says have the baby.
01:10:18We'll get married.
01:10:20I'll take care of you.
01:10:22What'll you take care of?
01:10:24It's a good thing we got Ralphie.
01:10:26Otherwise, we don't even get welfare.
01:10:29Will you tell me one thing you ever did for my Ralphie?
01:10:32Do you ever play with him?
01:10:34Do you ever take him to the ball game?
01:10:36Do you ever take him fishing?
01:10:38How about the fishing?
01:10:39Why don't you take your own son fishing?
01:10:42You don't even change his kitty litter.
01:10:45Did you know that Dr. Spock has stated very clearly in his book that fathers who are never
01:10:54there usually makes a fag kid.
01:10:57You know what he does most of the time around the house, he sits around, and if he's not picking
01:11:01his nose, he's jerking off.
01:11:03How's that going to look when he starts kindergarten?
01:11:07Starting like that, huh?
01:11:08You get out of here.
01:11:11Pack your things and get out.
01:11:15I said get out, and I mean it.
01:11:18While I'm still young, I have to find a decent father for my child, you bum.
01:11:22All you do is lay around.
01:11:23Listen, I'm sick of cleaning up after you, and don't think I don't know that you fool around.
01:11:28What?
01:11:28I know it, you junkie.
01:11:30Are you kidding?
01:11:32No, I'm not.
01:11:33Come on, I'm sick of seeing you sitting around here doing nothing.
01:11:35I am.
01:11:36I'm getting serious.
01:11:36And don't you come back here, because you're ready to stripe up.
01:11:39All right.
01:11:53Too much.
01:11:55I thought she was putting me on.
01:11:57Hey, she actually did it.
01:11:59That blows my mind.
01:12:01Hey, that means I don't have to go to the welfare office tomorrow.
01:12:04Jesus.
01:12:05Wow.
01:12:06Had it good, had it bad, had it any damn way I could.
01:12:11Made a friend, lost a few, but I always knew where I stood.
01:12:15Made a deal, got a feel for the way the whole thing fits.
01:12:20Had a ball, took a farm, now I'm thinking I'll call it quits.
01:12:23Take a good long.
01:12:24I'm back again.
01:12:32I'm giving in.
01:12:33You're rapping with guys.
01:12:34You're rapping with guys.
01:12:34What a lot.
01:12:36Get gentle.
01:12:37Oh, get out to it.
01:12:39Hey, what?
01:12:40Hey, what?
01:12:40Where'd you find it?
01:12:41In my next life.
01:12:42Oh, that's what I want to say.
01:12:44Oh, that's what I want to say.
01:12:44Oh, that's what I want to say.
01:12:44Oh, that's what I want to say.
01:12:45You know what?
01:12:45You know what?
01:12:46You know what?
01:12:46You know what?
01:12:47You got to clap.
01:12:49Now, some of my best friends every girl is when they get to basketball.
01:12:55Had a change, but it's strange, it'll always remain the same.
01:12:58That is bad.
01:12:59Thinks up here, ain't it weird, you're afraid of what you came to do.
01:13:03Check the ins, check the outs, let it come and let it go.
01:13:07Let it up, let it down, let it in any way that you know.
01:13:10Yeah.
01:13:12What a lot.
01:13:12I'll do it right in my next life.
01:13:31This is about the worst life I ever had.
01:13:42I'll do it right in my next life.
01:14:12Had it good, had it bad, had it any damn way I could
01:14:24Made a friend, lost a few, but I always knew where I stood
01:14:28Made a deal, got a feel for the way the whole thing fits
01:14:32Had a ball, took a fall, now I'm thinking I'll call it quits
01:14:36Wilson's been
01:14:39Begging, I'm giving in
01:14:48Better get the chance again, I'll do it right
01:14:54In my next life
01:15:09guitar solo
01:15:20Had it good, had it bad, had it any damn way I could
01:15:39Had it good, had it bad, had it any damn way I could
01:15:50Made a friend, lost a few, but I always knew where I stood
01:15:54Made a deal, got a feel for the way the whole thing fits
01:15:58Had it good, had it bad, had it any damn way I could
01:16:02I'm giving in
01:16:16Better get the chance again, I'll do it right
01:16:20You
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