- yesterday
An invulnerable, somewhat dim, superhero protects The City from all manner of evil-doers.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30Oh, my God.
00:59The mayor has issued a city-wide alert.
01:02The governor's office is expected to declare a state of emergency within the hour.
01:06As of this report, the entire municipal area has been evacuated.
01:11We are under attack.
01:13Things so monstrous.
01:15Terror unleashed from the sacred cotton candy place of our dreams.
01:19If anyone is out there listening, get out of town before it gets to you.
01:23And I'm out of here.
01:29It sure was nice of your sister to lend us her car so we could go to Wheatland.
01:34Ah, who would have thought going to a theme park with a grain motif could be so much fun?
01:39What's going on here?
01:40And that fiber diet roller coaster?
01:42Man riding a bran muffin through a giant digestive tract.
01:46Truly thrilling.
01:47We haven't seen anyone since we got inside city limits.
01:51You're right, Arthur.
01:52The traffic did seem a little light for this time of day.
01:55Where is everybody?
01:56Don't know, but it's starting to smell a little like danger in here.
02:01Or heavily fried food.
02:03Hey, guys, say, would you mind if I borrowed your car?
02:07You see, I'm sort of in a hurry, and we need to get out of town.
02:10Oh, yeah, bad, very bad.
02:12Uh-oh.
02:20Hey, look, it's the Civic-Minded Five.
02:22Are we ever glad to see you guys?
02:25Say, can we borrow your car?
02:27We've got to get out of town.
02:29What's your hurry, four-legged man?
02:30Yeah, would someone please tell us what's going on around here?
02:34You mean you don't know?
02:35The city's been evacuated.
02:37There's already been untold destruction.
02:39It's coming.
02:42Tick, maybe you can do something to stop it.
02:44What is it?
02:50That's it!
02:51Yeah, bad, very bad.
02:53Oh, for Pete-
02:54How bad can it be?
02:56I'll just trot around the corner and make quick work of it.
02:59Be back in a jib.
03:02Whoa.
03:02Whoa.
03:03Whoa.
03:03Whoa.
03:03Whoa.
03:03Whoa.
03:03Whoa.
03:04Whoa.
03:05Whoa.
03:06Whoa.
03:07Whoa.
03:08Whoa.
03:09Whoa.
03:10Whoa.
03:11Whoa.
03:12Whoa.
03:13Whoa.
03:14Whoa.
03:14CLOWN SMASH!
03:23It's a clown.
03:25Perhaps I can reason with it.
03:28Hey there, Happy.
03:31You know, you really pack a wallop, but I don't get it.
03:35Clowns aren't supposed to smash.
03:37They're supposed to make people laugh.
03:42Watch out, Tick.
03:43He looks like he's gonna charge.
03:45Nonsense, Arthur.
03:46Clowns don't charge.
03:47They scamper.
03:48They waddle.
03:49They caper.
03:50They do funny little jigs to amuse.
03:52Clowns don't charge.
03:53Okay, Clown, the Tick is closing your little circus down.
03:58That's it.
03:59Keep on truckin'.
04:00Ha!
04:01Hello?
04:01Hello?
04:02Hello, Clown?
04:02Yes!
04:03Yes!
04:03Yes!
04:04Good Lord.
04:05Well, once again we find that clowning and anarchy don't mix.
04:09And even though evil may wear big funny pants, it...
04:15Clown crush!
04:16Clown crush!
04:17Oh, Clown hug!
04:18Crushing body need to muster strength, break free!
04:26Okay, people, important note, do not touch the nose.
04:30Grr!
04:31Grr!
04:32Grr!
04:33Grr!
04:34Grr!
04:35Grr!
04:36Grr!
04:37Grr!
04:38Grr!
04:39Grr!
04:40Grr!
04:41Grr!
04:42Grr!
04:43Grr!
04:44Grr!
04:45Grr!
04:46Grr!
04:48Grr!
04:49Grr!
04:50Okay, people, important note, do not touch the nose.
04:54Grr!
04:55Grr!
04:56Grr!
04:57Grr!
04:58Grr!
04:59Grr!
05:00Grr!
05:01Grr!
05:01Grr!
05:02Grr!
05:03Grr!
05:04Grr!
05:05Grr!
05:06Grr!
05:07Grr!
05:08Grr!
05:09Grr!
05:10Grr!
05:11Grr!
05:13Allright, laughing boy!
05:14I'm gonna have to put you down before you do some real damage!
05:17Grr!
05:18Grr!
05:19Grr!
05:20Grr!
05:21Grr!
05:22Grr!
05:23Grr!
05:24Grr!
05:25Tick!
05:29Forget about the tick, Arthur.
05:31We've got to worry about ourselves.
05:35Clown smash!
05:51Tick!
05:53Tick!
05:55This is your mind speaking.
06:00Oh, hi.
06:01Sorry I haven't been around much lately.
06:03I'm easily distracted by shiny objects.
06:06Yes, shiny objects are good.
06:08Where am I?
06:09We... I...
06:10Outer space, looks like.
06:12Outer space, wow.
06:14I thought there was an awful lot of... space.
06:17Why am I here?
06:19Well, that I don't know.
06:21But I guess...
06:22Hey, did you just ask an existentialist question?
06:25I don't know.
06:26Did I?
06:27You did, you did.
06:28Say something else all smart and philosophical.
06:30Huh.
06:31It's pretty cold out here.
06:33Yes.
06:34Yes, it's so true.
06:36We're all born into the cold, unyielding world of nothing.
06:39No blankets, no glove and scarf gift sets.
06:42And why?
06:43Why?
06:44You're pretty goofy.
06:45You're pretty goofy.
06:46Oh, yes.
06:47Yes.
06:48Oh, what a goofy work is man.
06:49Yes.
06:50I never knew we were such a spiritual seeker.
06:52Me neither.
06:53This could be a big chance.
06:54Tick.
06:55Let's go on a psychic journey of self-discovery.
06:58Okay.
06:59Great.
07:00Great.
07:01Great.
07:02So, uh, relax and fall into a deep prince.
07:03No problem.
07:04You're falling deeper and deeper into your own consciousness.
07:21We're getting creamed here.
07:22We need to withdraw.
07:23Arthur, I tend to agree, something must be done.
07:26Can anyone stop that thing?
07:28Heroes!
07:29He can stop the clown!
07:35This is Dr. Bud Frontier.
07:37He's the man who created that monster.
07:40Bud.
07:41You created that thing?
07:43Did my taxes pay for this?
07:44Bad.
07:45Very bad.
07:46I'm sorry.
07:47I haven't got time to explain right now.
07:49I've got to deal with proto-clown.
07:51So, stop.
07:52Stop this madness.
07:53Huh?
07:54Proto-clown, listen to me.
07:55Why are you doing this?
07:56You are not meant to be a force of devastation.
07:57You have everything a clown could want.
07:58Everything necessary to make the world forget its troubles and laugh.
08:00Huh?
08:01That's right, proto-clown.
08:02Don't you see?
08:03You're really funny.
08:04Huh?
08:05Huh?
08:06Huh?
08:07Ah!
08:08Aaaaah!
08:09Clown smash Bud!
08:10Huh?
08:11Ah!
08:12Clown get Bud!
08:14Ah!
08:15That will give us a minute.
08:17Let's get out of here.
08:20What do you want?
08:21Oh.
08:22Aaaaah!
08:24Nuh-uh-uh-uh.
08:25Let's get out of here.
08:27C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c...
08:31That'll give us a minute. Let's get out of here.
08:37What now?
08:38Arthur, you and the others get Bud to safety. He's our only hope. I'll keep the clown busy.
08:42You can't hold that monster off by yourself. I'll stay and help.
08:46No, you go. I'll stay.
08:49The Flater Mouse, you'd stay to help me?
08:52Yeah, sure. What kind of a guy do you think I am?
08:56Besides, what can you do anyway? Hit it with a shoe?
08:59Don't start with me.
09:06We'll meet you at Civic Minded Five headquarters.
09:09If we survive.
09:10Good luck, kid.
09:12Clown smash!
09:16I sure hope the tick is okay.
09:19Tick, this flat, desolate, featureless expanse is your mind.
09:24Wow, it's really flat.
09:25We must cross this region to find the answer to your innermost question.
09:30What question?
09:31The why are you here question?
09:33Oh, yeah, that one. Follow me.
09:35I shall guide you to the source of your answers.
09:37Huh? What's that?
09:38Something shiny.
09:40What? Where? Out there? Come on!
09:42Hey, no fair. I'm supposed to be the guide.
09:44Wait up!
09:45Oh, this is a really great HQ setup.
09:48Farrow boy even has his own doggy door.
09:52Oh, it's not much, but we like it.
09:54Um, you were saying you created Proto-Clown. What do you mean?
09:58I guess I owe you good people an explanation.
10:01I've always loved clowns.
10:02As a child, they were my favorite part of the circus.
10:04I mean, look, they're funny.
10:07They make people laugh.
10:08Face it, we all love clowns.
10:10I reasoned that if a regular clown were funny,
10:13then a larger clown would be even funnier.
10:15And a whole theme park full of giant clowns,
10:17now that would be my gift to the world.
10:20I am a genetic engineer by trade.
10:23I had spent a great deal of effort in my attempts to build the perfect clown.
10:26I labored day and night to perfect the science of clowning.
10:30Nothing else mattered.
10:33I had succeeded.
10:35You can't know the joy I felt.
10:36My theories were fact.
10:38I possessed the ability to create a super clown.
10:41The others were not strong enough to survive,
10:43but one grew stronger and stronger
10:45and became everything I wanted it to be.
10:48This is Proto-Clown.
10:49The first and last of its kind.
10:52My gosh, man!
10:53Didn't you realize that it's against the laws of nature?
10:57Clowns were never meant to be that big.
10:59I know that.
11:00Now, I'm sorry.
11:02Yeah, but why is your Proto-Clown wrecking the city?
11:05I'm not sure,
11:06but I do know it has something to do with me.
11:11American made!
11:16The fighter mouse!
11:26You gotta slow down, Tick.
11:39Oh, hey, I see you found your pleasure, Senator.
11:42Oh, yes.
11:43They sound like they're having so much fun.
11:46I have an idea.
11:47I'll go take a look.
11:48You wait here.
11:50Oh, no, you don't.
11:52Just a short look won't be long.
11:54Tick, no, don't.
11:55If you go in there,
11:56we'll leaps into a coma of pure ecstasy
11:58from which we'll never awaken.
12:01Oh, sounds pretty good.
12:03Oh, my mind is a scary place.
12:16That's bizarre with a capital B.
12:20Tick, behind you!
12:21Hey!
12:22Tick, Tick, where are you?
12:32Tick!
12:37You don't date much, do you?
12:40Your monster's too tough, Frontier.
12:42I let him have it with both of my shoes,
12:44and he still kept coming.
12:46Oh, both shoes?
12:47It is a monster.
12:49Mom, what?
12:50Where?
12:51Oh, the last one.
12:52The last thing I remember,
12:53I was fighting and...
12:54Don't you mean fainting?
12:55Ho, ho.
12:56I think that clown hit you
12:57one time too many, sweetheart.
12:59Regardless, you both acted heroically.
13:02But let's just hope
13:02Proto-Clown didn't follow you.
13:07Whoa.
13:09Word!
13:14Word!
13:16No, Proto-Clown, stop.
13:18Let's talk.
13:19Hey, Circus Boy,
13:20I don't think this is a good time
13:21for a heart-to-heart.
13:22Up the stairs.
13:23This way!
13:25Clown smash!
13:26Burn!
13:29Boy, when this guy faints, he faints.
13:31The garage!
13:32It's our only chance!
13:37Clown smash!
13:38It should have busted in by now.
13:50Where is it?
13:51Huh?
13:52What's happening?
13:53You don't want to know,
13:55the fainter mouse.
13:56You know, that whole water serpent thing
13:59sure ended suddenly.
14:01Yes, these psychic journeys
14:02tend to jump around a lot.
14:04That's why you need a good spiritual guide
14:06to lead you.
14:07No way, pal.
14:08You don't even know where you're going.
14:09Hey, a giant statue.
14:17What is it?
14:18Oh, sure.
14:19Now you ask.
14:19This is your self-image.
14:21Ooh, I look cool.
14:23This is our chance
14:24to delve deep into our psyche
14:26and find the immutable truth.
14:28You can ask it one
14:29and only one question.
14:31Okay, okay.
14:32One question.
14:32Check.
14:32How you doing?
14:48Oh, great.
14:49That's your big question?
14:51That's your big truth?
14:52You goober.
14:53Look, thumbs up.
14:55We're doing fine.
14:56That's good to know.
14:59That last one didn't count, okay?
15:01Hello.
15:02Hey, hey.
15:03Hello.
15:04Why are we here?
15:18Hey, hey, stop that.
15:20What kind of answer is this?
15:21Who are these little guys?
15:22We've triggered your defense mechanisms.
15:24Run for it.
15:25Oh, I had no idea
15:26that I was so defensive.
15:28Out, cut that,
15:29and leave me alone.
15:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:33It's quiet.
15:34Almost too quiet.
15:36It was at the door.
15:37We should be hero gumbo by now.
15:39What happened?
15:40I can't stand it anymore.
15:42You guys can wait
15:42for that thing
15:43to bust in here
15:43and pound you.
15:44I'm getting out.
15:48Oh, man.
15:49Don't you ever knock.
15:53Wait.
15:54Let me through.
15:54i said let me through if he wants me he can have me i'm running no more clown smash board smash me
16:03i no longer care but tell me i beseech you proto clown why are you so angry
16:08but laugh but laugh at proto-clown yeah don't don't put a sock in it
16:23what's this never mind just push the up button push the up button
16:29come on come on come on
16:31yeah i don't think i'll be able to fish for a while hey mind where are we this is your escalator
16:45of enlightenment oh really what do i need one of these for oh gee i guess i don't know at this
16:53rate you'll be back to midget land in no time no more midgets hurry up already what's keeping you
16:58slow poke i don't have little wings on my head like some people what's the matter getting tired
17:06no pain no gain little mister must make it must succeed must be all that i can be
17:16congratulations you've reached the top now for further enlightenment you must clear your mind
17:21and step out into the void pardon me i step off i fall boy do i fall you faithless
17:27philistine you won't fall if you clear your mind and believe now cover your eyes and clear your
17:32consciousness hurry up chop chop is it clear uh-huh you sure it's clear now yeah are you absolutely
17:39sure yes without a shadow of a i said yes it's clear good whack oh yeah really clear so why are we
17:48falling you said your mind was clear well it was clear i mean except for stuff no time for excuses
17:54there's only one way out of this predicament tick why are you here wait i i know this one uh now don't
18:01tell me i'm here because a big clown hit me now now see there that wasn't so hard how do you feel
18:11i feel i feel hot that'd be re-entry bye i mean i'm really burning up here and it's a dry heat too
18:20i never realized how you felt proto-clown i'm so sorry i was so busy with my own humor needs i
18:28wasn't thinking about you from now on i will never laugh at you again
18:32clown love bud bud love clown oh no no wait proto-clown it was an accident bud left but friends left
18:50clown smash then clown laugh
19:05take your back i am you saved us all i did oh i see well yes i guess i did all in a day's work right
19:15are there i'm glad to see you too tick i guess i'll just take him back to my lab and somehow make
19:22him less funny maybe if i disconnect the honking nose things will work out all i wanted to do was
19:29make people happy and now all i'm responsible for is city-wide damage why how don't take it so hard
19:37mister there are many mysteries in this universe big and small like why do clowns make us laugh why do we
19:44love puppy dogs and why do why do little blue midgets hit me with fish what see what i mean mysteries abound
20:14is
20:28oh
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