- yesterday
An invulnerable, somewhat dim, superhero protects The City from all manner of evil-doers.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00To be continued...
00:30Oh, my God.
01:00The morning sun rises to greet him, and in its low, warm light, he stands like some sort of pagan god or deposed tyrant, staring out over the city he's sworn to, to stare out over.
01:26And it's evident just by looking at him that he's got some pretty heavy things on his mind.
01:33Patrol, morning patrol, coffee.
01:55Good morning, Arthur! And a fine morning it is.
02:11I'm up, I'm up. Morning patrol. I got it.
02:15No! No patrols today, small friend. Today is our day off. We're gonna spend quality time together. We're going to Dinosaur Grotto.
02:26Look, guided tours daily of a working dinosaur dig. Come watch our team of expert scientists dig up real dinosaur bones. Dinosaur bones, sleepy sidekick. Fun and educational.
02:41Whatever. As long as we're back by six and Dot isn't kept waiting.
02:46Ah, yes. The sister.
02:48That's right. And she still doesn't approve of my superhero lifestyle. I only asked her to dinner to show her that I'm still a sane and loving person.
02:57Family values! You're crazy for that sibling!
03:01Yeah, so tonight can you just tone it down?
03:09Not a problem, gentle Avenger. I will suppress my every urge.
03:24Hey, cool!
03:26As you can plainly see, these giant reptiles ruled the prehistoric Earth for eons. They weren't very bright, but they were very, very big.
03:38And that concludes this afternoon's tour. Once again, I'm Dinosaur Neil, and as chief paleontologist here at the Grotto, I'd like to thank you all for coming.
03:46And remind you that we have t-shirts and other souvenirs right here in the gift shop.
03:50Consume!
03:51Eager, Imps.
03:53I must say, it's a pleasure to see superheroes taking such an interest in science.
03:57Wonderful tour, Dinosaur Neil. I never knew I could learn so much.
04:01Yeah.
04:02Now, just to retain it!
04:04Dinosaur Neil, look! We found a femur!
04:06Hmm. Apatosaurus. Beautifully preserved. Just what I need.
04:12You boys like science. Why not come back to my tent?
04:15I'll show you the kind of science you can't find in a textbook.
04:22I believe I can grow a dinosaur with the help of these fossils.
04:27I don't know. That doesn't sound possible.
04:30Hmm. It is. I saw it in a movie once. My machine synthesizes living tissues from fossilized DNA patterns.
04:38Hey, smooth!
04:40Look here. I've already grown some dinosaur tissue.
04:43I have to keep it in a solution of acetylsalicylic acid.
04:46Otherwise, I'm afraid it would just keep on growing indefinitely.
04:49I figure I'll have a fully functional organism by the middle of next month.
04:54Bad move, Neil.
05:04Well, no harm done.
05:15Too bad you boys have to leave so soon. If you could stick around, you could catch the fireworks on the Parade of Extinction.
05:21Fireworks? Extinction? Keen!
05:25We'd like to, Dinosaur Neil, but we have to...
05:28Uh, Tick, we have to make dinner for Dot. We're late.
05:33Oh, yeah.
05:34Bye, boys!
05:36Hands! Bigger!
05:49Oh, mine! Small!
05:54Child-proof cap!
05:58Impossible!
06:01Oh, that's the timer. The fettuccine's ready. Sauce is done. Here, crush this garlic.
06:16Oh, the stink of it.
06:21She's here. Tick, take off that shirt.
06:24Dot! Hi!
06:31You remember the tick, don't you?
06:33Yes, I remember the tick.
06:35Oh, Dot. You look lovely tonight.
06:39Your hair is like a halo of mouse brown fire.
06:43Whatever did you do with it?
06:45I washed it.
06:54Are you okay? You look a little... big.
07:01Well, Arthur, this is delicious. I'm glad to see you still have time to cook.
07:06Thanks. Hmm. Oh, the tick tossed the salad.
07:12Yes, quite a challenge.
07:19Dad really messed you up, didn't he?
07:21God, man, that thing is speaking a language that hasn't been heard on Earth in full thousand years.
07:28Nub!
07:29We interrupt tonight's episode of The Mummy Speaks to bring you this special report.
07:33Good evening. I'm Sally Vacuum. The authorities have issued a citywide alert.
07:38Dinosaur Neal, head paleontologist and tour guide in Dinosaur Brano, is now 70 feet tall and walking down Main Street.
07:46Boom!
08:07This is Sally Vacuum at the scene of the Dinosaur Neal Crisis.
08:10As you can see, Neal is still growing.
08:13We have with us one of the city's superheroes, Deflater Mouse.
08:17Thank you, Sally.
08:19Deflater Mouse, can you tell us what the superhero community plans to do about this menace?
08:26Good question, Sally. I think we'll just, um...
08:30Oh, sit this one out and wait for the National Guard.
08:34So, uh, when's this gonna be on?
08:37Uh...
08:41Must...
08:42...save...
08:43...sitting!
08:45Tech!
08:48Tone it down!
08:50Mwah!
08:52This cake is delicious, Ot.
08:56What is it?
08:57Chocolate.
08:58Dinosaur Neal!
08:59Please exit the city!
09:00We have a team of expert scientists ready to give you assistance!
09:12And a big pair of pants!
09:20Man, those are big pants!
09:22Those are the largest trousers in the world!
09:31Well, I wouldn't say he's rampaging, per se.
09:34The National Guard says it won't come unless the dinosaur is officially rampaging.
09:38I think we can confirm that rampage.
10:02I'm sorry, Dot.
10:03Arthur?
10:04Tick!
10:05Let's go!
10:06Now you're talking, chum!
10:09To action!
10:11Well, don't expect me to do the dashes.
10:19We've got to cut him off!
10:28Maybe I can talk some sense into him.
10:30Hey, Dinosaur Neal!
10:33What are you doing?
10:40Oh, I see.
10:44You're rubbing me the wrong way, friend.
10:47Aceto salicylic acid.
10:48Oh.
10:49Ha!
10:50Ha!
10:51Ha!
10:52Ha!
10:53Ah!
10:54Ah!
10:55Wait!
10:56Wait!
10:57Tick!
10:58I have an idea!
10:59Wait! Wait! Tick! I have an idea!
11:16Tick! I'm trapped!
11:18In the mustache of a titan!
11:23To safety, psychic!
11:24Tick!
11:29Arthur?
11:35Arthur! Fight that wild hare!
11:39Whoa!
11:44Aah!
11:46Aah!
11:47Aah!
11:48Aah!
11:49Aah!
11:50Aah!
11:52Aah!
11:57Ah!
11:58Tick!
12:09Tick!
12:10Tick, I think I've got an idea.
12:14Well, mine didn't work.
12:16What's yours?
12:17Well, this morning, a dinosaur Neil said that he had to keep his dinosaur tissue
12:22in a solution of acetylsalicylic acid to keep it from growing.
12:30Tick, acetylsalicylic acid is aspirin.
12:34If we can give Neil a dinosaur-sized dose of aspirin, he might shrink back to normal.
12:40Well, I'll try anything once.
12:44Let's see now.
12:45We usually recommend two aspirins for an average-sized adult.
12:49Now, how much did you say your friend weighs?
12:52Hmm, about 180 tons.
12:55And still growing.
12:56Oh, okay, give us a minute.
12:59So, do you think Dot's mad at you?
13:01Maybe, but she has to understand that this is what I want to do with my life.
13:14National Guard.
13:17This could mean the city needs the human bullet.
13:21Fire me, boy!
13:22Fire me, boy!
13:24Here you go, boys.
13:36This ought to cure what ails them.
13:42Oh, no!
13:48Prepare to fire!
13:50Wait, sir, wait!
13:52We can save him.
13:54All we need is five minutes.
13:56What can you do in five minutes, civilians?
13:59Superheroes, sir.
14:00We're going to give him an aspirin.
14:03Hey!
14:04Get back here!
14:06You may not know this, sir, but nearly 2,000 years ago, a brew made from white willow leaves
14:12was recommended for gout.
14:13Today, a remedy based on that same chemical, aspirin, is the most widely used medicine in the world.
14:21But aspirin is strong medicine and should be taken only as directed.
14:25And children should never, ever take aspirin, except under the supervision of their parents or a licensed physician.
14:32That's good advice.
14:33Hey, Arthur, how are we going to get Neil to take this pill?
14:43I mean, do we have a plan for that?
14:50Tick, look out!
14:52What?
14:53What?
14:53Looks like your friend's being devoured.
15:12Okay, everybody!
15:13Ready!
15:14Aim!
15:15No!
15:16Give the Tick a chance.
15:18He's nigh invulnerable.
15:20He'll be okay.
15:22He's got to be.
15:39You can't...
15:42He's done that heck, big boy!
16:12I'm okay.
16:36Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:38Once again, this is Sally Vacuum at the scene of the Dinosaur Neil crisis.
16:43The National Guard has the deranged dinosaur surrounded, but maintains a tense ceasefire.
16:48Apparently, one of the city's most prominent superheroes, the Tick, has fed himself to Dinosaur Neil, along with an enormous aspirin,
16:56in a desperate attempt to bring the rampaging reptile under control.
17:00The Tick appears to have been devoured in one of the most selfless and heroic acts this reporter has ever witnessed.
17:07This, after a spokesman for the superhero community said that they would, quote-unquote,
17:12sit it out and wait for the National Guard.
17:15This looks kind of bad, doesn't it?
17:18Minutes ago, I recorded an exclusive interview with the pharmacist who provided the giant aspirin that may be the key to the dinosaur's downfall.
17:26That was quite an aspirin.
17:28Oh, I suppose so.
17:30Was that the largest prescription you've ever filled?
17:33Oh, yes.
17:34But I made a huge cough drop once.
17:36And how big was that?
17:38Oh, I see.
17:39Size of a quarter.
17:40Thank you, Sid, the pharmacist.
17:42Bring him to the pants.
17:52Bring him to the pants.
17:57Liar! Liar!
18:01I'm on fire!
18:05There is a solemn silence at the must-go shopping plaza as we all wait to see what fate has befallen the Tick.
18:14Time!
18:18Time!
18:21Aha!
18:25Aha!
18:27Aspirin away!
18:46I guess that's about it for the blue guy, but he went down biting.
18:53It can't be.
18:54Okay, everybody, let's try this again.
19:00Ha ha!
19:02All right!
19:04All right!
19:18Pick, you're okay!
19:21To the showers with us!
19:27So, tell me, Tick, when you were, you know, in my mouth, fighting my tongue, was that weird for you or anything?
19:37Neil?
19:38Unique.
19:39But all in a day's work for a superhero.
19:43I saved my life.
19:44Oh, don't thank me.
19:46Thank Arthur!
19:47The Aspirin was his idea!
19:49Well, Arthur, I have to admit it.
19:52You guys saved Dinosaur Neil and the whole city.
19:55But I'm still not gonna do the dishes.
19:58It is really good to be human again.
20:05Well, once again, my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast.
20:11One head is nice.
20:13It gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences.
20:17But the other head of science is bad.
20:21Oh, beware the other head of science, Arthur!
20:24It bites!
20:30And it can really ruin a good day off.
20:33Oh, no!
20:34A monitor.
20:36What are those people doing?
20:37It's a big stage.
20:38I think they need to eat it.
20:40Oh, I know.
20:41I don't know.
20:42I think they're the largest man.
20:43I am.
20:44I think of that sort-of.
20:46It's a ê·¸ one to use it.
20:47I don't know.
20:49It's a big stage of the world.
20:50You know, is the one to use it.
20:51And the favorite thing I want to use it is it's not too easy.
20:54It's a big stage of the world!
20:55You know, of course, it's a big stage of the world.
20:57And it's the most of it!
20:59It's the most important, and it's the most important part.
21:02You
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