- yesterday
An invulnerable, somewhat dim, superhero protects The City from all manner of evil-doers.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00To be continued...
00:30I'll see you next time.
01:00That was my last 50 cents.
01:29Well, you know, I have a theory about this.
01:35I really wanted those chips.
01:37It's a worldwide conspiracy.
01:44Hold that thought.
01:59Big dog.
02:20Really big dog.
02:21So you were saying, conspiracy?
02:26Worldwide, I got evidence.
02:28Hmm, you may have something there.
02:30Let's go get those chips.
02:36Did you set the timer?
02:38Yes.
02:38Did you press start?
02:40Yes.
02:40And you're sure the door's closed?
02:41Yes!
02:42Did you set the timer?
02:44Tick.
02:44It's no use.
02:45It's broken.
02:46We might as well put the pizza back in the fridge.
02:52Oh, now the door's stuck.
02:54Step aside, Arthur.
02:56I have a knack for fixing things electrical.
03:03Whoops.
03:04Not to worry.
03:05So that's your knack?
03:09One must always try, Arthur.
03:11It's all right.
03:12It was broken anyway.
03:13We'll get another one tomorrow.
03:15Splendid, chum.
03:16This looks like a job for legal tender.
03:18Ah, excellent.
03:34You have returned with yet another piece of my sinister puzzle.
03:38Give me the device.
03:39Ha, ha, ha!
03:40Yes!
03:42No, Doc.
03:42I don't want to play.
03:43Come on, quit it.
03:46Whoa!
03:48Here, my little sister.
03:56Take this and plug it into the...
03:57I know, I know.
03:58You don't have to explain.
04:00You're always explaining and explaining.
04:01Goes right here.
04:05Amelia, you are such a child.
04:07Oh, here it comes.
04:09Lots of explaining.
04:10You just don't know what it's like to be a criminal mastermind.
04:13You don't understand the pressure I'm under.
04:15Do you have to think evil thoughts up all the time?
04:18Oh, there's another one.
04:22Good.
04:23Where was I?
04:24Evil thoughts all the time.
04:26Yeah, evil thoughts all the time.
04:27But to understand me, you've got to understand the criminal mastermind mentality, Amelia.
04:31We prize one thing above all else.
04:34And do you know what that is?
04:35And do you know what that is?
04:40Yeah, brains.
04:42Yes, brains!
04:44Lovely, beautiful, thinking brains.
04:47I mean, how many other kids do you know that mastered quantum physics before they could walk, huh, Amelia?
04:52Or built their first particle accelerator during recess and kindergarten, huh?
04:55Or, or have their very own mega-multi-devastator cannon!
05:00It's wicked.
05:02And let me tell you, when I get that last part, I'll be doing some big, big evil.
05:06Dog, in the morning, you're going to fetch me a microwave oven.
05:21The dimwist that manufactured it have no idea of its many evil settings.
05:25Got it?
05:25Rows and rows of useless consumer junk.
05:44Dog, stop at the next salesman you see.
05:50Excuse me, sir, but could you tell me where the microwave ovens are located?
05:54Huh?
05:55Oh, uh, down 40 aisles and make a left.
05:59You are here.
06:00Uh-huh, uh-huh.
06:02Being here is a lot like being lost, Arthur.
06:05Yeah, I always hate coming to these giant mondo stores, but they have the best prices.
06:10Not a problem.
06:12We merely have to find the proper here and microwaves will follow.
06:16Off to find the elusive here, my friend.
06:19The thrill of the hunt is on.
06:21There, maybe there, perhaps that way.
06:23Oh-huh, what fun.
06:28Great.
06:28One left.
06:29What a bargain.
06:31Ah, life is good.
06:36That's the one, Dog.
06:37I gotta have that one.
06:39Fetch!
06:39Hey, Dog, that's ours.
06:41We saw it first.
06:43Hey, God, is that your brain?
06:47I don't think he's gonna give it back.
06:50Well, then we have a problem, because I'm not giving it back either.
06:55Hey, you big blue jerk!
06:57Let go!
06:58I got plans for this microwave!
07:00Well, we've got many a TV dinner to heat on evenly ourselves.
07:04Okay, then.
07:05Prepare for the wrath of Charles!
07:07Whoa!
07:08Help!
07:09Tick!
07:10Help!
07:11Help!
07:12Help!
07:13Are they being attacked by major name-brand appliances?
07:14Help!
07:15Help!
07:16Help!
07:17Help!
07:18Help!
07:19Help!
07:20Help!
07:21Help!
07:22Help!
07:23Help!
07:24Help!
07:25Help!
07:26Help!
07:27Help!
07:28Help!
07:29Help!
07:30Help!
07:31Help!
07:32Help!
07:33Help!
07:34Help!
07:35Help!
07:36Help!
07:37Help!
07:38Help!
07:39Help!
07:40Help!
07:41Help!
07:42Help!
07:43Help!
07:44Help!
07:45Help!
07:46Help!
07:47Help!
07:48Help!
07:49Help!
07:50Help!
07:51Help!
07:52Help!
07:53Help!
07:54Help!
07:55Take that, objects of modern convenience.
08:01And this, and that.
08:06Cool. Evil wins again.
08:09And this, and that, and a whole lot more of this.
08:12Uh, Tick, I think you can stop now.
08:16You know, for a cord this long, 1098 is really quite a bargain.
08:23So how will you be paying?
08:24Cash, check, or credit card?
08:28Credit card. Definitely credit card.
08:34I'm starting to suspect this is more than a simple shopper's tiff.
08:38Evil is afoot!
08:48Ah, the city reservoir.
08:50Now, if I can just control my fall enough, I'll be able to land in the water.
08:54Must use every muscle in sinewy concert to guide my free fall.
09:00Oh, yes, looking good.
09:04Oh, looking very good.
09:07Tick, are you all right?
09:12Physically or spiritually?
09:13Hurry, Tick! Hop in the cab! I can see the robot! We can still catch him!
09:18I must now leave your warm embrace, Earth Mother.
09:21Duty calls.
09:28Four, five, six, and tip. Thanks.
09:31What manner of evil hideout is this? It's so, so nice.
09:38Hello? Hello, boys? Please, come on in. We've been expecting you.
09:44Little Charles has always been unusually bright.
09:48Almost too bright, some might say.
09:53So let's see if we have this right.
09:55You nice folks are the parents of the villain that owns that robot dog.
09:59You mean Skippy? Oh, he was a darling puppy we gave to Charles for his birthday.
10:03We were hoping it would distract him from this evil thing he's so into.
10:08But Skippy met with an unfortunate car-chasing accident.
10:11He had this habit of chasing cars that were heading toward him, and, well...
10:15Hmm. I can see how that would be a problem.
10:17Hmm. Thanks. These are great.
10:19You're welcome. But that didn't get Charles down.
10:23He just threw a few parts together, a bit of brain transplant surgery,
10:26and Skippy was as good as new, if somewhat different.
10:30Then he got the idea to do it to himself.
10:32I mean, that, that transparent dome head.
10:35Transparent? What?
10:36Oh, that's right. You haven't met Charles yet.
10:39Some kids get their ears pierced, others it's a unique haircut.
10:43Charles likes people to see his brain.
10:45Would you like another shake?
10:47Yes, please.
10:48Crisis! Crisis! Crisis!
10:54Charles! Crisis!
10:55That bug man is talking to Mommy and Daddy.
10:58I am displeased.
11:05And that's Charles on his favorite blanket.
11:07Is that an adorable tushy, or is that an adorable tushy?
11:11Oh man, I hate it when she tells those stories.
11:14I'll put a stop to this.
11:15Those super fools have got to go.
11:17Well, let me tell you, I think what you have is basically a good boy.
11:21Perhaps a tad more twisted than most, but a good boy.
11:24And I don't think there's anything wrong with him that a big loving hug wouldn't fix.
11:29Oh, I don't think that's the problem.
11:32Hug this!
11:33You're not going to hurt the funny bunny man.
11:37He's not a bunny, he's a moth, and yes, he goes too.
11:40No!
11:40Amelia, let me explain a little something about evil.
11:43Please! No more explaining!
11:46Hey, Charles, you in there?
11:48The tick would like to wrap with you.
11:51Well, hello there, little man.
11:59Don't call me little, you obnoxious dip.
12:01Oh, now, now, no need to get worked up.
12:03You know, Chuck, I might be a big old superhero, but I think I know where you're coming from.
12:10Pre-adolescence is a rough ride for anyone.
12:13Oh, for sure, man. Let me go get my act together. Wait right there, dude. I'll be back.
12:21I really think I'm getting through, Arthur. I have a knack with kids.
12:25Not like your knack with microwaves, I hope.
12:28You know, you can be quite cryptic sometimes.
12:30Oh, evil, evil, evil. Come on, evil, evil. Oh, this should be a great time for an evil thought.
12:35Oh, God. Up.
12:41Dog! Get down there and make mince me to those two.
12:53Steady, Arthur. Animals smell fear. Let me do the talking.
12:57So, we meet again. Skippy, is it?
13:00Ah, yes, that's a nice doggie toy you have.
13:02I hear there's some exciting developments in the field of rubber squeak toys.
13:10I think we're gonna wish he kept that toy in his mouth.
13:17Attention, interlopers.
13:19You know, you guys have really pushed me to new heights of evilness.
13:22And I would thank you if I wasn't so evil,
13:24because only someone as evil as me will pull the moon out of its orbit and smash it into the earth.
13:32Oh, bad dog, bad dog, bad dog.
13:37He's doing it. He's gonna smash the moon into the earth, Tick. From that little monster.
13:43Don't be silly, Arthur. This is just his youthful cry for help. His cry for a hug.
13:49Don't worry, Charles. There's someone in this big crazy world who understands, who's willing to help,
13:56who's willing to hug.
13:58Oh, man. He gives me the creeps. Oh, well. I won't let that wreck my big moment,
14:03because I'm beside myself with evil. And there's only one thing to do. Put my hands on my hips and laugh.
14:09Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:14That's it. Laugh. Laugh with me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:21Massive tidal waves are being reported around the world. There's rapid panic in the streets.
14:25It's been verified that the moon has been knocked out of its orbit and is on a collision course with
14:30earth. It's the end. It's the end. Sweetheart, I think Charles may be going just a little bit too far.
14:36Yes, dear, I believe you're right.
14:38It's time to put our collective parental foot down.
14:46Charles! Charles! Charles, you put the moon back this minute.
14:51Listen to your father, honey. He's right. No.
14:54Charles, I said put the moon back.
14:56And I said no.
14:59Charles, your mother and I are very, very disappointed in you.
15:03But due to our commitment to progressive and modern parenting,
15:07we'll trust you to work this out for yourself.
15:09He's smashing the moon into the earth, and you're going to let him work it out?
15:13You don't have kids, do you?
15:15You have to try and see things from their point of view sometimes.
15:19This is the 90s.
15:20We're sure that Charles' desire to smash the moon into the earth
15:23is a normal part of his development, and that it's just a phase that'll pass.
15:28Soon, we hope. Now, don't you or your sister be late for supper.
15:31Hey, this is pretty serious.
15:33Stop it! Stop it!
15:40Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad dog!
15:44Oh, come on. Stop touring with him, Skippy.
15:46Finish him off, and I'll reward you with a new batch of doggy toys.
15:54Them boys' logic wigs me out.
15:56Uh-huh. Providence once again smiles on the blue one.
16:05If I can just reach the object of Skippy's affections.
16:10Here, boy. Does Skippy want to play?
16:25Okay, doggy.
16:28Um, tick!
16:29It's time to play fetch.
16:31Tick!
16:32No more dentists. No more flu shots. No more homework.
16:40Charles!
16:41What? Oh!
16:42How dare you come in and defile my secret domain?
16:47I dare, because I care, Charles. The tick is one happening guy.
16:53Oh, please. Would you stop him with the hip talk?
16:56You don't like it?
16:57No.
16:58Not earlier?
16:59Not ever.
17:00Huh. Well, in that case then, put the moon back, demon waif!
17:05Make me.
17:06But you're gonna destroy the earth.
17:08Well, hey, tick. You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
17:12That's evil for you.
17:13I'll break a few eggs with you, you little brat.
17:17Oh, big man. Pick on the brainy little kid.
17:20Can I get off this train now, please?
17:24Dog! Destroy him!
17:28Only a microsecond to make my move. Think. Think. I could... No, no. Maybe if I... No,
17:41that never works. What if I... No, that only works on ducks. Ducks!
17:44A good one. I shall duck!
17:58That was fun! Let's do it again.
18:14Dog! Is that you, boy?
18:17Breathing is good. I want to make a habit out of it.
18:22Dog! Skippy! Are you all right?
18:25Dog!
18:28Don't worry, Skippy! I'll save you.
18:40There! I hope this works.
18:42It has to!
18:44Skippy, speak to me, boy!
18:47Speak to me!
18:52Yay! Skippy's okay! Yippee!
18:55Uh, Arthur, is this a warm moment, or should we be disturbed?
19:00Well, you're in some pretty deep water, mister.
19:03Cleaning this mess up is definitely coming out of your future allowance.
19:07And by the look of things, that'll take about ten years.
19:10Ten years? Mom! How am I going to rebuild my lab?
19:14It's not fair. It's all his fault.
19:17Well, if reinforcing family values is my fault,
19:21then I think my super shoulders can bear the brunt of that blame.
19:25Right, Arthur?
19:26I guess.
19:27Ah, yes. Grateful.
19:29Grateful because the family unit is the glue, the mucilage,
19:33the various safety-tested adhesives that keep the fabric of our society together.
19:38Bless that big, sticky quilt that blankets this land of ours in caring and sharing!
19:44Little man, have we learned our lesson?
19:48Oh, yeah. You bet.
19:49Great.
19:55Great.
19:56Great.
19:56Great.
19:56For more information, visit www.fema.org
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