Parental Guidance Season 3 Episode 3

Cinema Series US Film

Parental Guidance Season 3 Episode 3  #CinemaSeriesUSFilm   🎞 Please join  https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm

Transcript

00:00:00This episode of Parental Guidance contains references to eating disorders.

00:00:05Some viewers may find this topic challenging. Viewer discretion is advised.

00:00:11Parenting is the privilege of a lifetime.

00:00:14It's just a different kind of love that I can't even explain.

00:00:18But with privilege comes an even greater responsibility.

00:00:22In a special event series of Parental Guidance,

00:00:25we're hitting the most crucial topics facing parents today.

00:00:29Take a breath. This is confronting content.

00:00:33Previously, we uncovered the dangerous minefields of screen time.

00:00:38The most popular online gaming platform is a pedophile hellscape.

00:00:42And peer pressure.

00:00:44Do you let somebody take a naked photo of you?

00:00:47No.

00:00:49Tonight, we confront a generation's worrying obsession with body image.

00:00:54At its worst is I have met the devil.

00:00:59I don't know if I would know how to navigate that.

00:01:02Four new parenting styles are having the hard conversations.

00:01:06Pillars and Botox is the norm these days.

00:01:09Australia needs to have.

00:01:11We have an obesity crisis in this country.

00:01:13And we aren't parents with the tools.

00:01:15Go guys.

00:01:16Go guys. Come on.

00:01:17Incredible.

00:01:18Oh, that's incredible.

00:01:20Thanks, Mimi.

00:01:21To navigate their way through.

00:01:22We love you.

00:01:23We love you too.

00:01:24This is, for me, an area that requires immediate intervention.

00:01:29Focus parents, welcome.

00:01:44Nice to see you.

00:01:45Nice to see you.

00:01:46Hi.

00:01:47Josh and Cassie.

00:01:48Hi.

00:01:49Hello.

00:01:50Nick and Sophia.

00:01:51Hello.

00:01:52Pedal parents, welcome.

00:01:54Hey, guys.

00:01:55Good to see you.

00:01:56Grab that seat.

00:01:57Buckle up.

00:01:59Nice to see you, parents.

00:02:01Welcome to the boot camp of parenting.

00:02:04We've handpicked eight sets of parents to take us through the tough obstacle course that is modern parenting.

00:02:12Or to find out which way is the right way to deal with the biggest issues that face Australian parents today.

00:02:20Tonight, we're diving into one of the biggest parenting minefields yet.

00:02:26Body image.

00:02:28When we're talking about body image, we're talking about healthy eating, regular exercise, and having a positive view of your body.

00:02:39This is complicated.

00:02:40Eat well, but you know, not obsessively.

00:02:41Exercise, but don't go too hard.

00:02:42But how do we actually parent for this?

00:02:55Some of these conversations will be really difficult.

00:02:58I just want you all to know that.

00:02:59I just want you all to know that.

00:03:03Tonight, four new focus parents are in the hot seat.

00:03:07Your parenting style is going to be assessed across the number of challenges themed around body image.

00:03:14And over here, you guys, you're our panel parents.

00:03:18So watch carefully and take notes.

00:03:21Later, you'll be voting on the parenting style you think is most effective when it comes to body image.

00:03:29Okay, let's get to know our focus parents.

00:03:35Let's run through our parenting styles.

00:03:38Elvie and Sean.

00:03:40We are authoritative parents.

00:03:42We have high expectations on our children.

00:03:44In the meantime, we set strict rules and boundaries.

00:03:47Say cheese.

00:03:48Cheese.

00:03:50Thanks, Mom.

00:03:52As authoritative parents, we don't really give our children too much choice.

00:03:57To be good in piano, you do need a lot of practicing.

00:04:01Elvie sets the rules in the family.

00:04:03You only have 20 minutes left.

00:04:05Okay.

00:04:06Okay.

00:04:07The girls and I obey.

00:04:11We want them to be academically successful to get into a good profession.

00:04:17We also make sure our children have enough physical activities, balanced diet and health consciousness for long term success.

00:04:28So you're basically setting the goal high for them so they can work towards it.

00:04:32Yes.

00:04:33We set rules.

00:04:34We have high expectations.

00:04:35However, the most important thing in our view is their health and happiness.

00:04:40Nick and Sophia.

00:04:41We're the positivity parents where confidence is key.

00:04:45Hey, Bestie!

00:04:50As positivity parents, we build up our children's self-esteem every single day by doing positive affirmations.

00:04:56I can't hear you.

00:04:57You've got to say it loud.

00:04:58I am unstoppable.

00:04:59Yes, you are.

00:05:00Yes, you are.

00:05:01I am exceptional.

00:05:02You are.

00:05:03We've been blessed in the fact that Sophia is able to work from home as a content creator

00:05:07and she's incorporated our children within that sphere.

00:05:10One, two.

00:05:11Hey, Bestie!

00:05:13One, two.

00:05:15We do teach our children to have a healthy lifestyle.

00:05:19The girls do competitive dance.

00:05:22Each day the girls are dancing and having fun and being fit.

00:05:26Beautiful!

00:05:27They love being physical.

00:05:28I think it's pretty cool that you've got such a positive outlook with that positive energy.

00:05:34I think that's impressive.

00:05:38They're really cute too.

00:05:39And Amanda and Hassan.

00:05:41We choose to parent the hard way.

00:05:43We don't take shortcuts.

00:05:44It's hard on us but easy and fun for the kids.

00:05:46Everyone say cheese!

00:05:47Say cheese!

00:05:48Yeah!

00:05:49As hard way parents, there's no easy way out.

00:05:54We don't leave anyone behind.

00:05:56We all go do things together.

00:05:57When it comes to food, we don't allow junk.

00:06:02We try to make everything from scratch.

00:06:04The easy way of parenting is giving your children soft drink, lollies, junk, take out.

00:06:09Take out.

00:06:10That's the easy way.

00:06:11Sorry.

00:06:12Nuggets and chips.

00:06:13That's not very healthy for your children.

00:06:14That's right.

00:06:15We actually choose to parent our children.

00:06:16Five, two, three, four, five.

00:06:19We model good behaviour when it comes to body image.

00:06:22Well done!

00:06:23High five!

00:06:24You can put kids down really quickly with your words.

00:06:26When they feel that we're happy and proud of them, they feel proud of themselves.

00:06:32Everything you said literally sounds like us.

00:06:35We do.

00:06:36You get out.

00:06:37Even with the kids, you're playing basketball with them.

00:06:38You're in the pool with them.

00:06:39That's what we do.

00:06:40Yeah.

00:06:41We're having fun.

00:06:42We play with our kids.

00:06:43We want to have fun with them.

00:06:44Yeah.

00:06:45Josh and Cassie.

00:06:46We are the life school parents and we use real life experiences to educate our kids.

00:06:51Smile!

00:06:53As a family of seven, we live in our truck and caravan travelling around Australia.

00:07:02We've been travelling for like three years but haven't been to school for four years.

00:07:06We just choose life schooling is a better way to learn.

00:07:09What we are doing is a variant of home schooling.

00:07:13Taking it out of the classroom and into the real world.

00:07:17Tests and school curriculums are not important.

00:07:19No, they're not important.

00:07:20They're outdated.

00:07:21Yeah.

00:07:22Oh, boys!

00:07:23Look what we got!

00:07:25I'm a crunchy mum, 100%.

00:07:27That's, yeah.

00:07:28Limited technology.

00:07:29Using natural remedies, limiting pharmaceuticals, this sort of thing.

00:07:34Oh, I think you got further than Spencer!

00:07:37And are we going against the norm?

00:07:39100% we are.

00:07:40100% we're going against the norm.

00:07:41But kids are healthy.

00:07:42Anyone can see that.

00:07:43Yeah.

00:07:44Well done, Jasper!

00:07:45I think it looks lovely.

00:07:48It looks just like such a lovely lifestyle, getting travelling around with the kids and

00:07:52having them outdoors and in nature.

00:07:54I love it.

00:07:55How do your kids feel about not going to school?

00:07:58Like, have they came and told you they want to go to school?

00:08:00They do.

00:08:01How would you handle it?

00:08:02We check in with them regularly and we're like, do you guys want to go to school?

00:08:05And they're like, no.

00:08:06But there is certain things they'll learn in the classroom from like someone that's been

00:08:10to university and done the curriculum that you can't possibly teach them.

00:08:14I will just push back a little bit on that because what can the educational system teach

00:08:19that we don't have the tools to teach our children?

00:08:22You know, with technology like YouTube and things, I have tools and resources I can lean

00:08:26on, so I am fully confident that if their pursuit and their desire was to become a doctor,

00:08:32they're going to go pursue that.

00:08:34Your kid's got confidence.

00:08:35Yeah.

00:08:36They're learning.

00:08:37They're outside, they're doing things with their hands, they're building things already.

00:08:40I guarantee you.

00:08:41Does that mean though we don't need schools?

00:08:42No, not at all.

00:08:43No, I'm not saying we don't need schools.

00:08:44So we can all sort of teach ourselves on the internet?

00:08:46No.

00:08:47I just don't think school's for everybody.

00:08:48No.

00:08:49Yeah, but a child's not going to know that if the parent doesn't give them the opportunity.

00:08:52When I've only got five kids to focus on, out of anyone in the world, Cass and I have

00:08:58their best interests at heart.

00:09:00Alright, let's get into it.

00:09:03Panel parents, don't forget to take notes.

00:09:05It is time for our focus families to face their first challenge.

00:09:12For many of us, looking in the mirror is just part of the morning routine.

00:09:17But for kids and teens with rapidly changing bodies, it can be a moment of self-doubt.

00:09:23In this challenge, we asked you to do something simple, but it's incredibly revealing.

00:09:29Stand in front of a mirror with your child and talk openly about their bodies.

00:09:36The stats around body image are deeply troubling.

00:09:40Nearly half of teenagers have skipped school because of body image concerns.

00:09:45And more than a third have avoided physical activities because they don't feel confident

00:09:52in their own bodies.

00:09:54So, how do they really see themselves?

00:09:57Let's have a look.

00:09:59Come and have a look at a text message.

00:10:02Ooh, what do your kids think about their bodies?

00:10:06Parents, time for a body image check-in.

00:10:09In this challenge, we want to see what our parents have role-modelled when it comes to

00:10:14valuing their bodies.

00:10:15As life school parents, our kids don't have access to, like, the mainstream peer pressure

00:10:22to keep up with a certain image.

00:10:24They don't have Instagram and things like that where body image is, you know, constantly

00:10:29in front of them to compare themselves against.

00:10:31Hey Kingsley.

00:10:32What?

00:10:33Can you tell me what you like most about your body?

00:10:37My hair.

00:10:38Your hair.

00:10:39What don't you like about your body the most?

00:10:41Don't know.

00:10:42You don't know?

00:10:44What do you like most about yourself in the mirror?

00:10:47Uh, muscles.

00:10:49Because they can help me with a lot of things that I do.

00:10:53And what do you like least about your body?

00:10:55Nothing.

00:10:56There's nothing you like least about your body?

00:10:58You got the boys, I've got the girls.

00:10:59Yep.

00:11:00Let's go boys.

00:11:01As hard way parents, we want to teach them that positive body image is very important.

00:11:05It's very important to believe in yourself and not believe in what other people tell

00:11:11you you are.

00:11:12So, Mohamed?

00:11:13Yeah?

00:11:14What do you like about your body?

00:11:15It's healthy.

00:11:16Mm-hmm.

00:11:17And that my hands could pick up things and I could mainly do everything with my body.

00:11:22Anything you don't like about your body?

00:11:24Uh, I like everything.

00:11:25Oh, beautiful.

00:11:26I'm a teacher, a high school teacher.

00:11:30I see this every single day with students that I teach.

00:11:34They are very self-aware of their body and the way they look.

00:11:37What do you like about your body, Lemise?

00:11:39Uh, I like my eyes and my hair.

00:11:42What don't you like about your body?

00:11:44My nose.

00:11:45Your nose?

00:11:46Why?

00:11:47I know.

00:11:48We live in a world where having fillers and Botox and plastic surgery is, sorry, the norm

00:11:53these days.

00:11:54And I want our children to know that they don't have to change the way they look to be beautiful.

00:12:00Come in front of this mirror.

00:12:03As an authoritative parent, um, from an oriental background, we are quite conservative talking

00:12:10about our body, even between mother and daughters.

00:12:14How do you feel about your body image?

00:12:17I like my hair and my teeth.

00:12:20I have bunions because I do ballet.

00:12:23I have acne, which is kind of sad.

00:12:26I want to be taller.

00:12:28You want to be 10 cm or more taller?

00:12:32Like, from my age.

00:12:34I think the K-pop entertainment has greatly impacted Stacey's perceptions of the right body image.

00:12:43Pop culture is sending a message to the children that you need to be thin, a bit tall to look pretty.

00:12:51As we age, we start to get freckles.

00:12:55I honestly think you look pretty good for your age.

00:12:58Aw.

00:12:59So I just wrote a note here about the boys, they saw their abilities and what their bodies can do, whereas girls see their physical features.

00:13:11I noticed that a bit, yeah.

00:13:13Amanda, you talked there about girls and fillers and Botox.

00:13:18I don't want them to feel pressure that they have to fix up the way their face looks just because, you know, other people are doing that.

00:13:27I get Botox and I don't see a problem with it.

00:13:31It's nothing that crazy and I don't think there should be, like, such a stigma around it and by me getting Botox, I don't feel like it's teaching my daughters that they need to get it.

00:13:43They don't know that I've had it done.

00:13:45I've never done anything to my face or body and I don't dye my hair.

00:13:50I just believe that if I want my children to believe that they are perfect the way they are, which I believe they are, then I need to reflect that in my behaviour.

00:13:58If I don't focus on my wrinkles or my age or my weight, then my kids won't either.

00:14:06Mothers that want to get Botox, I think they possibly need a psychologist to see if it's in the danger zones or healthy zones or whatever.

00:14:14I've had Botox before.

00:14:16I don't think it's bad to role model Botox and villas as a parent, is it? Do you?

00:14:24A World Health Organisation study found that what predicted who was going to have body image issues was not body size, but gender.

00:14:35Plastic surgery, GLP-1 drugs, the people who take advantage of them, more than 80% of them are female.

00:14:41We have a different conversation around bodies for men and boys compared to girls and women.

00:14:49Do we need to do better for girls? Is that what you're saying?

00:14:51We need to do much better for girls. The way that we talk about our bodies, the emphasis that we place on appearance and the behaviours that we model are all going to profoundly influence our girls' body perception.

00:15:07The most important thing that we can teach our children about body image is self-acceptance and treat themselves with love and respect.

00:15:21Coming up, a body image confession.

00:15:25I didn't like my body at all.

00:15:28And the dark side to Australia's wellness mania.

00:15:32I don't like watching children go through stuff like that.

00:15:36Then later, one parenting style comes under fire.

00:15:39They are not just behind, they're several years behind.

00:15:46I just need an ego boost to talk to you.

00:15:51Ego boost.

00:15:53Tonight, we're getting into one of the most important and challenging topics in parenting.

00:15:59It's body image.

00:16:00And we're looking at how our focus kids see themselves in the mirror.

00:16:06OK, we've got one more to see.

00:16:08Let's take a look at our positivity parents.

00:16:12What do your kids think about their bodies?

00:16:16Take your daughters for a body image check-in.

00:16:20OK.

00:16:21As positivity parents, we do talk to the kids about body image because they do see different body shapes.

00:16:27I always reaffirm that we are all different and that all body shapes and sizes are beautiful just the way they are.

00:16:35Tell mummy what you love about your body.

00:16:37I have legs.

00:16:39Yeah, you've got beautiful legs. What else do you love about your body?

00:16:42Your beautiful face.

00:16:44Is there anything that you don't like about your body?

00:16:47No.

00:16:48Nothing?

00:16:50We're not wanting them to ever feel like they need to come up to a certain standard of what someone else thinks beauty is.

00:16:57Do you want to tell mummy what you like about your body?

00:17:01That I'm healthy.

00:17:02Yeah.

00:17:03Beautiful.

00:17:04Yeah.

00:17:05Long hair.

00:17:06Six pack.

00:17:08Yeah, you do.

00:17:09Six pack.

00:17:11Is there anything that you don't like about your body?

00:17:13No.

00:17:14Nothing at all?

00:17:16Do you just look at yourself and just go, you know what, I'm really happy with the way that I look?

00:17:20Yeah.

00:17:21Yeah.

00:17:22This is everything that I want her to feel about herself.

00:17:27When I was younger, I didn't like my legs.

00:17:33I used to get teased at school.

00:17:37They used to be actually writing on the walls about mummy's legs.

00:17:41I didn't like my body at all.

00:17:49It's very important, especially being a girl, okay, that you don't let other people tell you what beautiful is.

00:17:57You know how mummy always says that to you?

00:17:59Okay?

00:18:00Because we're all different.

00:18:02Okay?

00:18:03I love you.

00:18:04Love you.

00:18:05I love you.

00:18:15Your little girls have both got really positive body images.

00:18:19They had nothing negative to say about themselves at all.

00:18:21No.

00:18:22And they shouldn't.

00:18:23They're very comfortable with themselves.

00:18:24Yeah.

00:18:25Obviously that's a testament to you both because you've raised them every day telling them they're just beautiful, beautiful children and it really comes through.

00:18:31I'm sorry that you've had that experience though.

00:18:35It was written on the school wall.

00:18:37Sophia has thunder thighs and it became a big thing for me.

00:18:43So it was just something I don't want my kids to ever go through.

00:18:47And that's disgusting.

00:18:48Yeah, it's shocking.

00:18:50Sophia, can I ask, that period when you were teased about your body, did that lead to bad choices you made in regards to your health?

00:19:00Yes.

00:19:01Yes.

00:19:02Absolutely.

00:19:03I would binge and then I'd be like, oh no, no, no.

00:19:05I'm getting too big now.

00:19:06Let's scale that back to like not eating.

00:19:09Like that's just not healthy, you know.

00:19:11And then all my friends were doing it.

00:19:13And I think when you're young, you're very impressionable.

00:19:16Okay?

00:19:17And if you don't have a lot of support around you, you don't have, you know, parents that are guiding you, you know, through that type of stuff.

00:19:25I can definitely relate with that.

00:19:27I was one of four girls.

00:19:29Two of my older sisters suffered quite bad eating disorders growing up.

00:19:33And it did stem from my dad was obsessed with the way he looked.

00:19:39I remember I lost a lot of weight once when I was younger.

00:19:42I was severely underweight.

00:19:46And someone said, I'm really worried about you.

00:19:48And I went to my dad and he said, I don't know what they're talking about.

00:19:51You look fabulous.

00:19:53And so it does come from the parents.

00:19:56And, you know, you're lucky if you can get out of that without any repercussions.

00:20:02I suffered anorexia when I was like 12 to 14.

00:20:07But that was more of a confidence thing.

00:20:10Yeah, I think it's important that fathers tell their daughters they're beautiful as well.

00:20:14Because my dad always taught us we were perfect just the way we are.

00:20:17You talk to the girls like that.

00:20:18And I think it makes a big difference.

00:20:20You guys have broken the cycle up there.

00:20:22That's what it sounds like to me from over here.

00:20:24I love everything about my body now.

00:20:26And, like, I'm the only one in this room that's wearing a short dress and showing my thighs.

00:20:30I don't care.

00:20:31Like, this is me.

00:20:37When discussing body image, we need to move away from beauty.

00:20:40Instead, emphasise functionality.

00:20:43Emphasise finding joy.

00:20:45Focus on what you can do, not what you look like.

00:20:47More than anything.

00:20:49Remember that beauty is best defined by who you are and not how you look.

00:20:58Next...

00:20:59What is your voice saying right now?

00:21:01Donny!

00:21:02The story of body image obsession.

00:21:05Was there ever a point where you thought you might lose her?

00:21:08Yeah.

00:21:09Then a fun game takes a turn.

00:21:12That would break my heart.

00:21:13Yeah.

00:21:14It was hard to watch.

00:21:16The story of body image.

00:21:17The story of body image.

00:21:18We're about to cover one of the most confronting issues relating to body image.

00:21:29I want to acknowledge the following discussion relates to eating disorders.

00:21:33Some may find it distressing, but we need to have these important conversations.

00:21:38The stats around eating disorders are increasingly worrying, particularly in our young people, with 90% of teenagers having negative thoughts about their bodies.

00:21:49I'm a dad of six girls.

00:21:51It's one thing that scares the hell out of me because the causes are so far reaching and they can be really difficult to protect against.

00:22:03Unfortunately, sometimes the very best parenting messages don't get through.

00:22:10I want to show you a home video from someone who experienced a serious body image disorder.

00:22:18And after months of simply not eating, she was hospitalised close to death.

00:22:24In the video, you'll see a young girl being supported by her mum as she goes through the horrific illness that is known as anorexia nervosa.

00:22:33It is a confronting watch.

00:22:50Force yourself to eat it, Ashley.

00:22:52Yes, you can.

00:22:54You can.

00:22:59I feel like you're punishing me.

00:23:02I'm not punishing you.

00:23:07You are choosing to listen to the voice instead.

00:23:10What is the voice saying right now?

00:23:12Don't eat.

00:23:14Okay, so you need to do the opposite.

00:23:16I can't do it!

00:23:20Congratulations, you are stronger.

00:23:30What does it feel like to complete your meal?

00:23:34This little bit of happiness inside of me.

00:23:38Yep.

00:23:39This is what family is.

00:23:42Family don't give up on one another.

00:23:44We don't abandon you.

00:23:46Love you.

00:23:47I love you guys too.

00:23:49I love you guys.

00:23:58It's really hard, isn't it?

00:24:00I don't like watching children go through stuff like that.

00:24:06And then I think about my own kids.

00:24:08I mean, she's really lucky she has parents that care about her.

00:24:13Yeah.

00:24:14It's why we're spending so much time focused on body image.

00:24:21Because when it goes wrong, it's the consequences.

00:24:25I just thought of my girls or our girls in that situation.

00:24:31And how I would be trying to deal with that as well as trying to guide them through it.

00:24:38You could feel her pain coming through her cry, which was quite confronting.

00:24:45And I don't know if I would know how to navigate that.

00:24:48Yeah.

00:24:49Yeah.

00:24:50You feel a sense of helplessness as a parent, don't you, when you watch that and you can't fix something for someone.

00:24:55Yeah.

00:24:56Definitely.

00:24:57Four credits to her mum.

00:24:58She was so strong.

00:24:59Yeah.

00:25:00She's unbelievable.

00:25:01What a woman.

00:25:02Now, fortunately, this story has a happy ending.

00:25:07That's good.

00:25:08I know this family and I know that girl in the video.

00:25:12She is now a healthy, strong young woman who is an advocate and mentor to anorexia sufferers around the country.

00:25:21I might be now.

00:25:22That's beautiful.

00:25:23She's here tonight.

00:25:24Oh, wow.

00:25:25Please welcome Ashley, together with her parents, Kendall and Andrew.

00:25:44Alright, we made the whole room cry and there was also, I think, a great sense of relief.

00:25:50Ashley, can you explain how it started and what we just saw?

00:25:54It started, I just wanted to be healthy.

00:25:56I started following these influencers online that were posting photos of their shopping trolleys.

00:26:01And I was looking to these people that were seeming like they were happy when they were going on a diet or when they were losing weight.

00:26:07And so I was constantly being reinforced that who I was and what I looked like was not enough.

00:26:13I know that as you were going through social media and with the algorithms, you were just seeing this certain image, really dangerous diets.

00:26:22I really wanted to then have a flat stomach.

00:26:25I'd do the seven-minute workouts or the ab workouts.

00:26:28And then the more I lost, the more validation I got in the sense of, oh, you look amazing.

00:26:35What are you doing?

00:26:36You're so fit.

00:26:37You look great.

00:26:38And it was feeding me.

00:26:39Like, I was then striving for that and I was seeking that because it's like you're possessed.

00:26:45It was a mental illness.

00:26:48Mum and Dad, how hard is that when you see your little girl so sick?

00:26:53It wasn't until the holiday that we saw Ashley undress and go for a swim that we went, oh, crap, we're in trouble.

00:26:58We got roles.

00:26:59Kendall became not a mum anymore.

00:27:01She became a carer, which was a big task.

00:27:04And then I became the parent for the other two kids and look after the house.

00:27:08Can you explain to all of us what it was like at its worst?

00:27:12At its worst is that I have met the devil.

00:27:16You know, you could physically see Ashley eyes roll back and this different demonised voice would come forward.

00:27:25You know, it was going to war.

00:27:28Was there ever a point where you both thought you might not get through it and you might lose her?

00:27:33Yeah.

00:27:34Well, Ashley was told to make a bucket list of things she wanted to do before she died.

00:27:39We were basically told to take her home.

00:27:42She's got the most extreme eating disorder and probably the highest mortality rate.

00:27:47And you just need to get the food in.

00:27:49You know, Ashley wouldn't even brush her teeth.

00:27:51She wouldn't even drink water because she thought it had calories in it.

00:27:54I didn't want to be him.

00:27:57I didn't feel like anybody loved me.

00:28:00I didn't feel like I was worthy of being loved.

00:28:06And when I was admitted into hospital, into a children's mental health ward, you are on your own.

00:28:12And you're like 12 or 13 and you've just got no family.

00:28:16I had mum turn up every single day at 9am and then be told to leave at night.

00:28:22And for someone that thought that nobody loved her but to have her mum turn up every single day while there were other kids in there that had their mum come drop them off and then never return.

00:28:35I thought, wow, I'm like wasting away my life so selfishly when I have a mum and a family that's so willing to fight for me.

00:28:46That's when I made the decision that I'm going to give full recovery a go.

00:28:50I mean, here we are nine years later.

00:28:53That's incredible.

00:28:54Well done.

00:28:55Do you have any advice, Kendall and Andrew, in what to do when you see the signs that you saw in Ashley?

00:29:03The first sign is if you think your child's behaviour is changing, they're starting to isolate themselves.

00:29:09There's something wrong with school.

00:29:11They're not doing the fun things they used to do.

00:29:14After the behavioural signs came changing eating.

00:29:18Anyone eat clean.

00:29:19Looking back on that, there are all signs that something was not right.

00:29:25Do you feel you're stronger than it now?

00:29:27Oh, yeah.

00:29:28So much stronger.

00:29:30And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for those two amazing people.

00:29:35For them never giving up on me when I'd given up on myself.

00:29:41You know we're all going to go home tonight and hug our kids a little bit tighter and just remember to tell them how awesome they are every single day.

00:29:49And parents, if you have any concerns, do seek support for you and your child.

00:29:54Please, just a huge thank you for Ashley and her beautiful parents for coming in and sharing that tonight.

00:30:00Thank you so much.

00:30:03Thank you so much.

00:30:08Focus parents, tonight you are being put to the test

00:30:22on the pressing topic of body image.

00:30:25And on this side tonight, panel parents,

00:30:28don't forget to take notes.

00:30:30At the end of all the challenges,

00:30:32we'll be asking you to choose which parenting style

00:30:35best equips their kids for looking after their bodies.

00:30:40Cardiovascular fitness, it's essential across all stages of life

00:30:44for good movement, better mental health, brain function,

00:30:48sleep and preventing disease.

00:30:50But many of us don't do enough.

00:30:56The numbers are clear.

00:30:59By the age of nine, only a fifth of kids

00:31:02are getting the recommended one hour of exercise per day.

00:31:06And with inactive parents, that never drops even lower.

00:31:10So, let's have a look at how each of our Focus families keeps fit.

00:31:17We definitely role model fitness.

00:31:20Going to the park, having a game of basketball in the backyard.

00:31:24Go, go. Oh, what a block.

00:31:26It's all about quality family time together.

00:31:28That's right.

00:31:28Well done. Yes!

00:31:30Hit up, Stacey.

00:31:32We believe that doing well academically is important,

00:31:37but we do run some physical activities like yoga

00:31:42and we do badminton together.

00:31:47How you doing it, monkey man? I'm under you.

00:31:49Our kids are just always on the go.

00:31:51The moment their eyes are open, they're out that van

00:31:53and they're doing something outside.

00:31:55We don't need weekend sports.

00:31:57Just the fact we're such a big family,

00:31:59our kids automatically get the experience

00:32:02of what it's like to be in a team and be a team player.

00:32:06Do your parents like to exercise?

00:32:09My mum used to exercise.

00:32:11Now she doesn't.

00:32:12But she exercises by doing all the chores in the house.

00:32:16Wow, you're too slow!

00:32:17We do talk to our kids about the importance of being fit.

00:32:22So our daughters doing dance is an extremely important aspect in their lives.

00:32:27The girls will dance for like five hours each day.

00:32:31They just don't stop dancing.

00:32:32All righty.

00:32:35For our next challenge, it is the ultimate fitness test.

00:32:40We had a personal trainer take you through a beat test.

00:32:44We know that kids with fit parents are more likely to be fit themselves.

00:32:50So we're going to be focusing on the parents' results.

00:32:53Yeah.

00:32:54What we're looking for in this challenge is for adults and kids who are 12 and over

00:33:00to be getting a score of five or above.

00:33:03God.

00:33:04So how do our focus parents role model fitness and motivate their kids?

00:33:11Let's take a look.

00:33:15Do you think you fit enough?

00:33:17Yes.

00:33:17In case you missed it at school, the beep test is an international standard measuring

00:33:22cardiovascular fitness.

00:33:24Can I take my shoes off?

00:33:25Absolutely.

00:33:26Yay!

00:33:27That's us.

00:33:28A series of 20 metre sprints where you have to beat the beep to stay in the game.

00:33:34Remember, the parents should be able to reach level five.

00:33:40Level one.

00:33:46Level two.

00:33:47Ah, it's good work.

00:33:55Not happy with my level of fitness at all.

00:33:57I was pregnant for four years consecutive and if I wasn't pregnant then I was breastfeeding

00:34:03and that honestly made me lose a lot of physical activity.

00:34:07Level five.

00:34:10I feel like I've got two competitive ones.

00:34:14Level six.

00:34:14Go dad.

00:34:19Good pace.

00:34:21Good work Spencey.

00:34:23Good work brother.

00:34:24High five.

00:34:25Are you even puffed?

00:34:26Hey, you got to level A.

00:34:27All right, who's the strongest?

00:34:30Me!

00:34:31Look at me.

00:34:32Level one.

00:34:33Come on.

00:34:34Come on.

00:34:35Come on, Alec.

00:34:35Let's go.

00:34:35Come on.

00:34:35Come on, Alec.

00:34:36Come on.

00:34:36Mila.

00:34:38Mila.

00:34:38It's fair.

00:34:41Oh, you just made it.

00:34:42Come on.

00:34:43You just made it.

00:34:44Come on.

00:34:46Hey.

00:34:46Hey girl.

00:34:48Run, run, run.

00:34:51Oh, we're out.

00:34:53Right now, I feel like I could be more fit.

00:34:57You know, as a mum, sometimes you put yourself last.

00:35:02Come on, Mila.

00:35:02You've got that winner mentality, mum.

00:35:04Let's go.

00:35:05Come on, Mila.

00:35:07I'm out.

00:35:08Shane.

00:35:10What do you want?

00:35:11I want to go.

00:35:12That's hard.

00:35:14Let me try winning this game.

00:35:16I want to win this game.

00:35:18Level one.

00:35:23As an authoritative parent, fitness is not our strength.

00:35:26We are not good ourselves in our sports.

00:35:28Elvin and I, we don't have sports gene.

00:35:31It is quite a physical challenge.

00:35:47It is quite exhausting.

00:35:49Well done.

00:35:51Well done.

00:35:55Beyond the fact that Sean ran in sandals, which, well done you, Sean.

00:35:59How did you feel about their family's efforts?

00:36:02It was good to see that side of your family and also to see you take a loss.

00:36:08I try my best.

00:36:10I show the children.

00:36:11Sean, we're not a fitness family.

00:36:15Yeah.

00:36:16What message does that send to the family when they hear that?

00:36:19We're good at certain areas, but we're probably a bit behind in other areas.

00:36:23No one is perfect.

00:36:24Just try to focus the areas that you're strong in.

00:36:29With the life school parents, yeah, you can obviously see the lifestyle that you live.

00:36:35Obviously being outside, you was moving all the time and all the kids were having a great

00:36:39go at it and even dad did very well there.

00:36:43I like the positivity parents.

00:36:46You were like two little mini teams competing against each other rather than, you know, the

00:36:49individual children, which I thought was really good.

00:36:51Okay, let's see how our final focus parents went.

00:36:56Level one.

00:36:57Let's go.

00:36:58Go, go, go, go, guys.

00:36:59As hard way parents, we are big on fitness.

00:37:02Well done.

00:37:03We don't want our kids lying around sitting on the screen eating junk food.

00:37:07Yeah.

00:37:07We get them up.

00:37:08We go for a walk.

00:37:09It's all about staying fit.

00:37:10After five children, getting back into shape has been, you know, a bit hard.

00:37:16Your purpose is just for your children.

00:37:19I think with me being just one year postpartum as well, I haven't had a chance to actually

00:37:25run yet.

00:37:26Come on, as fast as you can.

00:37:28Come on, guys.

00:37:29I just want to keep running so then the kids can keep watching me do that so they can

00:37:35keep going.

00:37:37Come on.

00:37:39Mum and Dad, out.

00:37:44I'm super proud of Amanda.

00:37:46She is a definition of a superwoman.

00:37:48Thanks.

00:37:52So, I was so proud of you.

00:37:54So cool.

00:37:55I loved it.

00:37:56I love that you tried your best in that.

00:37:58It's not easy.

00:37:58It's such a hard thing to do, especially mentally.

00:38:03Are you all right, Amanda?

00:38:09They just really are my purpose.

00:38:12I do everything for them.

00:38:14It was 40 degrees that day.

00:38:17It was very, very hot.

00:38:18I hadn't ran yet.

00:38:19My last baby was a C-section, so I've been just walking and I just wanted to keep going

00:38:24just to show them that you can not give up.

00:38:27So, to do that with your children and be such a great role model, all eight of you, amazing.

00:38:33I think you all did so good in that challenge.

00:38:38Kids take their cues from us.

00:38:40If they see us prioritising movement and making it fun, then they're far more likely to stick

00:38:46with it for life.

00:38:47So, the takeaway is this.

00:38:50There is room for improvement for most of our focus parents in the room.

00:38:54But, the good news?

00:38:57It's never too late to set a better example.

00:39:03Next.

00:39:04Steak!

00:39:04Kitchen chaos when the kids are put in charge.

00:39:08What's your favourite thing, Joseph?

00:39:09Chocolate!

00:39:10And everything is laid out on the table.

00:39:14What does your food intake really look like?

00:39:16Because none of them have got any chocolate or anything.

00:39:19Then later, which parenting style comes out on top?

00:39:23The best parental guidance when it comes to a healthy body image goes to...

00:39:28We're looking at body image.

00:39:38And before our next challenge, we're going to find out what our focus kids know about healthy eating.

00:39:44Every parent knows that you're supposed to give your kids healthy foods.

00:39:49But how many of us are actually doing that?

00:39:52We sent you a grocery delivery, and it is filled with a typical Aussie shop.

00:39:57Can your kids make a healthy meal plan?

00:40:01Well...

00:40:02Proper nutrition is essential for setting up our kids to live a long and healthy life.

00:40:08But only 4% of Australian children, 4%, meet the fruit and vegetable consumption recommendations.

00:40:14Which means that 96% of kids aren't getting enough.

00:40:20Wow, look at all the bags!

00:40:23We sent our families an average Aussie grocery shop.

00:40:27Ooh, vegetables!

00:40:29The kids are calling the shots, deciding what's healthy, what's not, and what they actually want to eat for the week.

00:40:36Not healthy.

00:40:37Not healthy.

00:40:38No cupcakes allowed.

00:40:39Not healthy.

00:40:40As positivity parents, moderation is key.

00:40:44We try and balance it out.

00:40:45The girls, they do, like, you know, chocolates, like every other child.

00:40:49What's that one?

00:40:50Garlic.

00:40:51Garlic.

00:40:53We don't want to eat too much junk because of our body, we will get sick.

00:40:58My favourite thing is the rock melon.

00:41:00My favourite thing is the grapes.

00:41:03We try to promote healthy eating habits from a young age, even if it's going to take longer.

00:41:08And they all like to get involved.

00:41:10What's your favourite thing, you said?

00:41:11Chocolate!

00:41:14Why is it important to eat healthy?

00:41:16So you don't have a big tummy like my dad.

00:41:20As an authoritative parent, eating healthy is essential.

00:41:26Whatever we prepare, we make sure we have the right combinations of nutrition.

00:41:31Okay, definitely not the silver big thing.

00:41:34What's chow chows?

00:41:36It's like rip-off rice.

00:41:38That's when you're going to get cancelled.

00:41:39Oh, we've got steak!

00:41:43Favourite things are mangoes!

00:41:45Apples!

00:41:46We generally only eat two meals a day.

00:41:49We don't have any structure around mealtimes.

00:41:52We listen to what our bodies tell us when we're hungry and that's when we eat.

00:41:57Chocolate and that doesn't feel like.

00:41:59It will give you energy but not for as long.

00:42:03Food that is not healthy is chips.

00:42:07You eat that all the time.

00:42:08Chocolate, sweets, lollipops.

00:42:12I like these two together.

00:42:20Okay, so let's be honest about this.

00:42:24We have an obesity crisis in this country.

00:42:27Two-thirds of Australian adults are overweight or obese.

00:42:32And the negative eating habits that lead to this start in childhood.

00:42:37It's about understanding what we're eating and how it's affecting our bodies.

00:42:44Focus parents.

00:42:45You all say you have a healthy diet.

00:42:48So we asked you to fill out a family food diary.

00:42:52You had to write down absolutely everything each member of the family put in their mouth.

00:43:01So what does your food intake really look like?

00:43:05Please step out of the room.

00:43:07We need everyone out.

00:43:09And then I'm going to bring you back in.

00:43:11And we can all judge who has the healthiest daily meal plan.

00:43:16I love this.

00:43:17Okay, let's go.

00:43:18Look for the Pirellos.

00:43:20Panel parents, come back in.

00:43:35And have a look.

00:43:37Walk around the table.

00:43:38Have a look at everything.

00:43:40On each table is a daily intake of food for each family.

00:44:16And none of them have got any chocolate or anything.

00:44:19None of them.

00:44:23Focus parents.

00:44:24Come on in and sit down.

00:44:28Anybody hungry?

00:44:30Ooh, yummy.

00:44:34What do we think of the Hardway parents' daily meal plan?

00:44:38Great options.

00:44:42Healthy.

00:44:43Some snacks.

00:44:45I can see that the parents are only, like, having the treats, not so much the kids.

00:44:49But I also don't see many vegetables, I would say.

00:44:56Okay.

00:44:57What about the Life School parents' daily meal plan?

00:45:01It's a lot of meat.

00:45:03Bacon and egg rolls.

00:45:04Yeah.

00:45:04Also, not too many veggies.

00:45:06But, yeah, the popcorn's good.

00:45:09And I like ice cream.

00:45:13And the positivity parents.

00:45:16They've got a great balance.

00:45:17They've got the fruit and the veggies and a bit of salad.

00:45:20Cereal's an unhealthy choice.

00:45:22It would be something that we might potentially occasionally buy in the holidays, maybe.

00:45:26And the authoritative parents.

00:45:31Yeah, that food looks delicious.

00:45:32It's great.

00:45:33Healthy options.

00:45:35That puts everyone to shame, I think.

00:45:37Okay.

00:45:38I thought we should get an expert involved.

00:45:40So I took your food diaries to the lab of Dr. Nick Fuller.

00:45:45He's an expert specialist in helping families build healthy eating habits.

00:45:50And he's the best-selling author of Healthy Parents, Healthy Kids.

00:45:56Let's have a look.

00:45:58All right, Nick.

00:45:59You've got all the food diaries.

00:46:01They all say they're eating well.

00:46:03Are they?

00:46:04Two families are doing particularly well.

00:46:06And two do need a little bit of work.

00:46:08Ooh, okay.

00:46:09I'm really intrigued to see how Amanda and Hassan, our hard-wave parents, went.

00:46:14Yes.

00:46:14What they're offering their children is great.

00:46:16Wide variety.

00:46:17A lot of home-cooked meals.

00:46:18But I can see discretionary processed foods creeping into the diets of the parents.

00:46:24Soft drinks.

00:46:25The biscuits.

00:46:25The biscuits, for example.

00:46:27How about our life school parents, Josh and Cassie?

00:46:30They skip lunch.

00:46:32I do not know how they're doing this.

00:46:34They say eat when you're hungry.

00:46:35And this whole three meals a day is a society thing.

00:46:39This is very bad from a weight management point of view.

00:46:42Kids have such a high nutritional requirement.

00:46:45They need four to five to six meals per day.

00:46:49We need to move away from this fad of, I guess, it's an intermittent fasting type approach.

00:46:54Otherwise, they're more likely to overeat at the meals that they are eating, which is breakfast and dinner.

00:47:00What problems do you see down the track?

00:47:03They're going to have weight issues.

00:47:05I'm very keen to talk about our positivity parents.

00:47:10I saw what goes into their cereal bowls in the morning.

00:47:14Lots of beautiful, bright colours.

00:47:16Yeah, look, you've got to be going for whole grain cereals, like oats.

00:47:21There's basically only three good options in the whole supermarket aisle that's filled with cereals.

00:47:2897% of them you've got to stay away from.

00:47:30You're kidding.

00:47:31That's the hard truth.

00:47:32Oh, my gosh.

00:47:35Sean and Elvie are definitely winning the race.

00:47:38They are doing a fantastic job.

00:47:40They're offering a wide variety of foods.

00:47:42They're meeting most of the nutritional requirements.

00:47:44And those children are probably going to grow up with healthy weights and a lifelong trajectory of good health.

00:47:52Panel parents, are there any big takeaways from what Dr. Nick just said?

00:47:58The breakfast one.

00:47:59Yeah, I just would like to know what those three breakfast options are so I can...

00:48:02Aubaran, Wheat Bix, and oats, and definitely nothing colourful.

00:48:09Elvie and Sean, well done, guys.

00:48:11How do you feel about everyone moving into your house?

00:48:14Because they all like the look of what you cook.

00:48:16Welcome to Perth.

00:48:17I have a big fist.

00:48:19You know we'll be there.

00:48:22I'm not surprised because I'm actually putting a lot of efforts to make sure our children have healthy, balanced meals.

00:48:32With the daily food challenge, I think every single family has taken something from it

00:48:37and is going to implement that as well into their own meal plans.

00:48:43Next, let's play the compliment game.

00:48:46Very strong.

00:48:46Aw, thanks, Amanda.

00:48:48You are confident.

00:48:50That's not a compliment.

00:48:51One challenge flips the vote on its head.

00:48:54It's not really a compliment at all.

00:48:56I would be beside myself.

00:48:58That would break my heart.

00:49:02Tonight, we're talking about how we pair in our children when it comes to body image.

00:49:14There's just one more challenge to go tonight.

00:49:18And we know when it comes to body image, the words we use around our kids can shape their opinions about themselves and others for years to come.

00:49:26Compliments tell us a lot about how we are perceived.

00:49:32So in this next challenge, we want to know what you have taught your kids to value.

00:49:37Are they more focused on external things like physical appearance?

00:49:41Or are they looking at internal things like personality and character traits?

00:49:47Compliments are more than words.

00:49:49They tell our loved ones that we notice them and we value them.

00:49:53Parents, it's time to find out what your kids really think of you.

00:50:02Give your parents five compliments each.

00:50:05Part of the Hardware style of parenting is actually having those deep conversations.

00:50:10Very strong.

00:50:10Aw, thanks, Amanda.

00:50:12Always sucks us in bed.

00:50:14Cares a lot about us.

00:50:16I'd like my kids to see me as strong, independent, healthy, you know, hardworking.

00:50:22They're the kind of things I instil in my children.

00:50:25We love you.

00:50:25We love you too.

00:50:26We love you too.

00:50:28Aw.

00:50:29I love that your children were like personality overlooks.

00:50:33Yeah.

00:50:33It was all from the heart and it was all feelings.

00:50:36It was warm and fuzzy.

00:50:37Yeah.

00:50:39Aw, this is going to be good.

00:50:41I'm looking forward to this one.

00:50:42Let's go.

00:50:42As Positivity Parents, we love to shower them with compliments.

00:50:47You are confident.

00:50:49Aw, thank you, Mummy.

00:50:50Heee.

00:50:52I think the affirmations that we do in every single day are key for the girls feeling confident.

00:50:58Incredible.

00:50:58Aw, Dad's incredible.

00:51:01Thanks, Mimi.

00:51:03Marvellous.

00:51:04Oh.

00:51:06Marvellous.

00:51:07Words, like, for myself, like, incredible and marvellous.

00:51:12I wasn't expecting to hear that.

00:51:14Thank you, girls.

00:51:15Good job.

00:51:19Loved it.

00:51:20I love how at such a young age they knew such big, strong words.

00:51:25Like, yeah, marvellous, incredible.

00:51:27I honestly don't know if my kids would know those words.

00:51:30But that comes down to those daily affirmations that you're doing every day.

00:51:33And I loved it.

00:51:34Yeah, well done.

00:51:34Thanks.

00:51:35We are, like, waiting for a result.

00:51:44That's not a compliment.

00:51:46I know.

00:51:47Structure the sentence to reflect your writing skill, okay?

00:51:53As authoritative parents, we don't quite often show love in an exaggerated way.

00:52:00Mum brings a lot of fun to you guys.

00:52:02We're helping.

00:52:03The way we show love, care, and appreciation to our children is mainly through spending

00:52:09quality time with them and also providing acts of service.

00:52:12Mum gives us restrictions, leading us to enjoy it more.

00:52:17Dad lets me relax and have free time, but mum never gives us a break.

00:52:22Mum forces us to go to too many activities, but gives us exposure.

00:52:33Dad is more chill and calm.

00:52:38They are quite struggling to find a way of complimenting me.

00:52:43Mum gives me make-up for my concerts and performances.

00:52:49Dad is more fun and lets us do stuff.

00:53:03That would break my heart.

00:53:03Yeah.

00:53:04It was hard to watch.

00:53:05Yeah.

00:53:06It broke me as a parent, especially as a mother, to have no compliments about me and even the

00:53:12compliments of dad were a dig at mum.

00:53:15It was hard.

00:53:16It was hard to watch.

00:53:18Mum never gives us a break, as well as mum forces us to go to too many activities.

00:53:23It's not really a compliment at all.

00:53:25No.

00:53:26So what do you think about that?

00:53:27Does that hurt?

00:53:29I think they put it in a humour way.

00:53:32I don't feel hurt in that game.

00:53:34It would be heartbroken.

00:53:36If our kids gave me no compliments, I would smack them with a slipper.

00:53:41I often wonder what my kids are going to say to their kids about me when I'm not here.

00:53:46How do you feel knowing that maybe they won't have anything nice to say about you?

00:53:51So what I'm doing now is for a long-term goal, for a better future for them.

00:53:59So when they're growing up, they would know what I have done for them.

00:54:04I don't mind being called me mum.

00:54:07What I'm doing now will help them for their better future.

00:54:11I don't speak to my mum and neither does my older sister and we will never speak to her again.

00:54:16And I'm not saying that that's going to happen for you.

00:54:18But from experience, maybe your girls do need to say a little bit more of a different kind of love.

00:54:25A few more compliments.

00:54:26A bit more affection.

00:54:28I think that would go a long way.

00:54:30And maybe just live in the moment sometimes.

00:54:32It's not about the long term.

00:54:34You want them to be happy now.

00:54:36The moments are going, you know?

00:54:38For sure, yes.

00:54:39I will do a bit of adjustment in terms of the way I express my love and care to them.

00:54:47I give full credit to Elvie because I probably need to share a bit of that bad guy role to give her more compliments in front of children to let children realise mum loves them.

00:54:59So I think that's probably an area that I need to improve.

00:55:05Sean, I love listening to you speak about your wife.

00:55:09I hear you honour her in every interaction.

00:55:12And one of the biggest protective factors we can provide to our children is where possible to have a strong, solid, intact couple relationship.

00:55:23When our children see that, it provides them with a level of security and certainty that is profound in terms of their overall well-being.

00:55:33That was a compliment.

00:55:34I can write it on a piece of paper and put it on your chest if you need me to.

00:55:38Hearing the feedback from other parents, we learnt a lot.

00:55:43It was like a cultural sharing.

00:55:46I definitely make some changes for the way I communicate with children.

00:55:53So make sure we are there for them when they need us.

00:56:01Coming up.

00:56:02Let's go.

00:56:03Life School Parenting comes under the microscope.

00:56:06This is an area that requires immediate intervention.

00:56:10Would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat?

00:56:13I think we should.

00:56:13We're playing the compliment game and there's one more family left to see.

00:56:28Let's see how our Life School Parents went.

00:56:32Give your parents five compliments each.

00:56:35Let's go.

00:56:36As Life School Parents, we think a good compliment is one that comes from the heart and it's honest.

00:56:42Pretty.

00:56:43P-R-I.

00:56:45How's a P go?

00:56:47That way?

00:56:47Or is that a nine?

00:56:49Fun.

00:56:51M.

00:56:52F-U-N.

00:56:54M.

00:56:54Thank you, Casey.

00:57:03Nice hair.

00:57:04Does that say hair?

00:57:05Nice skin.

00:57:07Nice skin.

00:57:15What's this?

00:57:16Fun.

00:57:19Fun.

00:57:21Awesome.

00:57:22Awesome.

00:57:23Pretty?

00:57:24Thanks mate.

00:57:25I can't even write it.

00:57:26Nice hair.

00:57:27Nice hair.

00:57:29You got the nice hair, I definitely should have gotten that one.

00:57:48The compliments were beautiful.

00:57:50There was a bit of a spelling issue.

00:57:52Yeah, that was a funny one because the spelling and the writing and the reading, a few of them

00:57:59struggled at, do they know how to read and write?

00:58:02Yeah, they read and write in their own ways.

00:58:06It's not like we sit down and give them pen and paper lessons.

00:58:10What we've seen is they might need a bit more help with that.

00:58:15We have a high school teacher in the room, Amanda.

00:58:17I'm just talking from my perspective.

00:58:19I just thought it was lacking a lot for their age.

00:58:23The youngest being seven, you should be able to spell and read really well.

00:58:28Really well?

00:58:29Well, for those words, yeah, they were quite easy words.

00:58:30Yeah, I would be giving them a lot more lessons in reading and writing.

00:58:34They need it.

00:58:37Education development for children.

00:58:40The first five years is essential.

00:58:42So they have missed that and the longer they delay, the harder they catch up.

00:58:47You've been vocal about the typical educational institutions.

00:58:52I'm not sure if you're homeschooling based on the curriculum of homeschooling.

00:58:56We have to follow the Australian curriculum.

00:58:58The three older boys are very good at reading and writing.

00:59:02The three older boys also began in the school system.

00:59:06Yeah.

00:59:07Tertiary educated teachers.

00:59:09Kids who are homeschooled can have the same success in life if you've got the resources.

00:59:14Yeah.

00:59:15I would be beside myself, to be quite honest.

00:59:21Whether or not you believe that you're limiting their opportunities for careers later, like

00:59:26you said, well, if they want to be a doctor, they can be a doctor.

00:59:29Realistically, I don't see that happening if they can't read.

00:59:38So we're only looking at reading and writing, but we're forgetting there's maths, there's

00:59:41science, there's geography, there's history.

00:59:43They're missing out.

00:59:44Yeah, they're missing out on so much.

00:59:46You don't know where they're lacking.

00:59:48As homeschoolers, no kid is behind, no kid is in front.

00:59:52When you homeschool it, they're at their own level of what they're capable of doing within

00:59:57themselves.

00:59:58What I worry about too, when they get older, they're applying for casual jobs.

01:00:03You need to know how to read the question, how you can apply for it, answer the question.

01:00:07They're going to struggle.

01:00:09Are you worried about where the boys are at with their reading and writing?

01:00:13I'm not worried at all because they can read and write.

01:00:17But we didn't see that there and they were very simple words like fun.

01:00:23If you look at most people on social media, they can't spell or use grammar as well.

01:00:28If you're not worried about it, at what point do you become worried?

01:00:33One of the challenges is them having a good relationship with reading and writing and that

01:00:39sort of thing.

01:00:40We don't want to come on too strong and too heavy for them to be fully resistive to taking

01:00:46it off.

01:00:47Josh, I need to jump in.

01:00:49You're not alarmed.

01:00:51Everybody in the room is alarmed.

01:00:53And I'm alarmed.

01:00:55They've got such limited capacity to read and write.

01:00:58They are not just behind.

01:01:00They're several years behind.

01:01:02How much do you read to them?

01:01:05Probably not as much as we need to.

01:01:07To be honest, it varies.

01:01:08How much do they read to you?

01:01:10Yeah.

01:01:11Probably not enough to us.

01:01:12Not things like novels.

01:01:13Based on what we've just heard, they don't read to you at all.

01:01:20Yeah.

01:01:21This is, for me, a massive concern and an area that requires immediate intervention.

01:01:29My deepest encouragement is to find somebody who can support you in this.

01:01:34Reading is the gateway to learning.

01:01:36The long-term impacts of failing to step in with some remedial work could be significant.

01:01:43We would never allow education to take a back seat at all.

01:01:51Because we're about knowledge is power.

01:01:53I don't think it's okay to let your kids fall behind.

01:01:57In a way, I just find that a bit selfish, because your kids should be your priority.

01:02:02Justin?

01:02:03Yeah?

01:02:04Would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat?

01:02:06I think we should.

01:02:07Let's go.

01:02:08Justin?

01:02:09Yeah?

01:02:10Would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat?

01:02:27Let's go.

01:02:28Come on in.

01:02:36I feel that I just need to explain something that wasn't able to be explained in the room,

01:02:45around what has happened to us in the past.

01:02:49I unfortunately used my ego to allow one of our kids to go to school at the age of four.

01:02:56Because I had a prep, a year one, a year two and a year three.

01:02:59That's a lot.

01:03:00I thought that that would create a bond, but it didn't.

01:03:02It didn't.

01:03:03And what we have now is an extremely resistant child to sitting down and reading and writing.

01:03:09You know, he's not comfortable with holding a pen and paper.

01:03:13Um...

01:03:14Like...

01:03:15You okay?

01:03:16Yeah, I just don't know how to...

01:03:19I just want it to come out right.

01:03:22Even if it's not right, it's okay.

01:03:25He flatly refuses.

01:03:28You know, like, when your dad's dragging you forcefully to the car, when you would probably

01:03:34rather die than go to where you're going.

01:03:38I'm fearful to what that message tells my son.

01:03:42Literacy is very important.

01:03:44But if we kill his spirit because he has to be at a benchmark because he is this age, then

01:03:52have we just taken a gift out of the world?

01:03:55There's a great irony in that in trying to protect him and keep him away from the thing

01:04:00that's making him feel awful about himself, that avoidance actually creates an even bigger problem.

01:04:07You're not the only family in the country dealing with this.

01:04:10There are families who are dealing with absolute, complete school refusal.

01:04:15Families that are dealing with all kinds of neurodevelopmental challenges and additional needs.

01:04:21There are families whose children are dyslexic.

01:04:25I really appreciate that you're being a voice for those families.

01:04:28It doesn't change the need for our children to be literate.

01:04:32There may be some additional support that your family needs to overcome

01:04:36the trauma associated with school and also learning.

01:04:42I'd like to give you a handful of tips to help your son with his reading and writing.

01:04:48The first thing to highlight is that it doesn't matter what he reads.

01:04:52Kids love reading if we can find the right thing for them to read.

01:04:55Here's the second thing. Read to your kids every single day individually.

01:05:00Read slower than you think you should.

01:05:02The third thing I'm going to recommend. Ask them to read to you.

01:05:06They're going to feel silly. They might feel incompetent.

01:05:09But it's when they read to you that they really start to capture it.

01:05:13I'd be setting aside some fart time.

01:05:16Family all reading together.

01:05:19You will turn them into readers and once they start, they won't stop.

01:05:24It will change their lives.

01:05:26Thanks, Justin.

01:05:28With our lifestyle, it's unorthodox.

01:05:32We definitely knew that this would come under a microscope.

01:05:35Thanks, mate.

01:05:37This is a life experience that we will learn from and grow from

01:05:41and implement to suit our family in and get the support that we do need.

01:05:47Panel parents, the focus parents have all stepped outside.

01:05:57It is now time for you to decide which parenting style you think worked best

01:06:02in the body image challenges.

01:06:04Back row, I'll get you to come round to the front.

01:06:08Remember, all of these challenges are designed to test

01:06:11which parenting style is best at providing a healthy diet

01:06:15and supporting eating autonomy,

01:06:18encouraging lifelong exercise habits

01:06:21and promoting a constructive body image.

01:06:24Alright, let's talk about our positivity parents.

01:06:30The affirmations are amazing. I love how confident those girls are.

01:06:36Marvellous. Marvellous?

01:06:39If my daughter put any of those words on me, I would be super proud.

01:06:42Yeah, but did anyone notice there's a seven-year-old doing 20 hours dance?

01:06:47Yeah, I did notice that. I thought that's pretty hardcore.

01:06:50The authority parents' food choices were amazing.

01:06:55Oh, it looked delicious. Yeah, yum. I'd eat all of it.

01:06:58The compliments with mum, she labels herself

01:07:02and wears it as a badge of honour as a mean mum.

01:07:05Mum forces us to go to too many activities.

01:07:08Dan is more fun and lets us do stuff.

01:07:12It was hard to watch. It might not have affected her.

01:07:15Different personality, different parenting style, different culture.

01:07:21I've only got positive things to say about them. They've done great.

01:07:23Go, go, go. Go, guys. Come on.

01:07:25Come on, guys.

01:07:26Yeah, the beep test, they did great at that.

01:07:28They strived for their best.

01:07:30Very strong.

01:07:31Oh, thanks, Amanda.

01:07:32Oh, well done.

01:07:33Their focus with body image for the most part was more on ability and personality as opposed to looks.

01:07:40Okay, let's talk about our life school parents.

01:07:42Fine.

01:07:43Thanks, Bea.

01:07:44It is a concern that a lot of those kids can't read and spell.

01:07:47Yeah.

01:07:48Does that say hair?

01:07:49Nice hair.

01:07:50They're critical on traditional educational institutions standardising testing but then they'll go,

01:07:55well, we're going to use TikTok as our average of what spelling should be.

01:07:59That to me is just a ridiculous argument.

01:08:01Yeah, I agree with that.

01:08:02If you put the education thing aside and take the challenges for what they were, they nailed them.

01:08:09He doesn't seem face.

01:08:10Keep it going, mate. You're doing well.

01:08:12That active lifestyle obviously is paying out.

01:08:14Chocolate and that doesn't do well.

01:08:16It will give you energy but not for as long.

01:08:18Kids were very knowledgeable about food.

01:08:20They do have that smarts around some things.

01:08:22Yeah, they were all over it.

01:08:24Okay guys, thank you.

01:08:26Return to your seats.

01:08:28Let's get the focus parents back in the room.

01:08:35Focus parents, the panel has talked it out and they are ready to share their thoughts.

01:08:41Let's hear from Amy and Mark.

01:08:44Yeah, so we went with the hard way parents.

01:08:46The kids gave great compliments.

01:08:48I thought nothing body image relating.

01:08:50It was all more personality.

01:08:52Yeah.

01:08:53Okay, Nathan and Joanne.

01:08:55We went with the hard way parents.

01:08:57Watching Amanda work so hard with the running.

01:09:01For your children was inspiring.

01:09:03Yeah.

01:09:04With all the little compliments they were pinning on you as well, there was nothing superficial

01:09:08about that.

01:09:09It was all really lovely things that your kids, you know, wanted to compliment you on.

01:09:14Courtney and John.

01:09:15We decided Elvie and Sean were the people that we learnt the most from.

01:09:20Education is a big piece of your parenting style and that's flowed through to obviously

01:09:24the education on food and you're open to change and that's what the whole experiment is about.

01:09:30Let's hear from Mark and Tammy.

01:09:32We went for the hard way parents because they were involved with their children.

01:09:37We just felt like you guys nailed it.

01:09:40Well, we have a clear winner tonight.

01:09:43The best parental guidance when it comes to a healthy body image goes to our hard way parents,

01:09:49Amanda and Hassan.

01:09:50Well done guys.

01:09:51Thank you guys.

01:09:55Congratulations guys.

01:09:58It was a really proud moment.

01:10:00I could cry.

01:10:01It was amazing.

01:10:03Thank you for another powerful look into the ups and downs of parenting.

01:10:09We've made it through three of the biggest topics impacting parents and their kids.

01:10:15Next time, we'll be ready to deal with the one that is on everyone's mind.

01:10:22We tackle mental health.

01:10:26If anything in this program raises concerns about eating disorders or body image issues,

01:10:32please contact the Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673 or butterfly.org.au.

01:10:42Next time, in the last of our special events series.

01:10:46We have an incredible mental illness challenge in this country.

01:10:50It's the invisible crisis crippling the nation.

01:10:53We screamed from 7pm till 3am every single night.

01:10:57It was horrific.

01:10:58Help me!

01:11:01Tonight's Focus parents will be back in the hot seat.

01:11:05My children call me the most mean mum in the world.

01:11:09How do our parents respond when mental health takes centre stage?

01:11:14Boys aren't naturally nurturing.

01:11:16They can be.

01:11:17Stereotyping can put a lot of pressure on men.

01:11:20And then the panel decides.

01:11:22The parents with the best parental guidance when it comes to building good mental health are...

01:11:28...

01:11:30...

01:11:32...

01:11:34...

01:11:36...

01:11:38...

01:11:40...

Category

Transcript

Recommended