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RETRO TV
  • 7/20/2025

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00:00is that for me it says bucket on the envelope it's bouquet b-u-c-k-e-t bouquet
00:17the accent on the second syllable well it's for this address anyway
00:22what's wrong now i never like to handle these things too freely until i've some idea who it's
00:30from but does it matter it matters enormously some total stranger may have licked this envelope not
00:37to mention the stamp there may be some prepared to gamble with their health but i think a certain
00:45reserve is called for against the tongues of strangers is this all are you sure there isn't
00:53a letter from my son nothing else but he's always writing to his mother as well as ringing me
00:59regularly sheridan is extremely thoughtful maybe he's trying telepathy if that's an example of
01:08post office humor they've no right to keep putting their charges up oh just off dear
01:17you know i wonder sometimes about a bow tie wouldn't suit you
01:24for you dear oh i never wear bow ties well you should you're still only the deputy in your department
01:32perhaps if you wore a bow tie you'd be the chief i don't think the promotion system is based on
01:38bow tie you're too naive richard these things matter you'd stand out more in a bow tie especially
01:46one that spins around and lights up don't be silly dear you should do it for me and for sheridan
01:53sheridan deserves a father full of executive stress wearing a bow tie
01:57and where's your briefcase i've nothing to carry that doesn't matter you should always look as if you've
02:08something to carry yes they always promote people who look as if they've something to carry
02:14richard richard what now haven't you forgotten something dear
02:28i'll see you this evening
02:43morning liz oh good morning richard oh good morning elizabeth
02:48can you see him in a bow tie well not from behind
03:02he's thinking of wearing one he wants to look more aggressively managerial
03:08you'd want to shoot him do you think oh don't ask me i hate making decisions well you don't have to do
03:14you really you live next door to me be ready at 9 30 elizabeth for what for the charity shop it's our
03:24day for the charity shop oh my goodness i've forgotten the charity shop best foot forward elizabeth it's
03:31a very important day we shall be serving with mrs nugent mrs councillor nugent
03:44unzlow
03:56there's a woman in dad's bedroom well wake him don't tell me
04:03he's awake he brought her in she wasn't there last night he must have sneaked out again while we were in
04:11bed what do you want me to do about it i'm just consulting you i thought that's what husbands are for
04:18do you know you're going to be sorry one of these days when you've overloaded me with responsibility
04:26she says she's his fiancee oh well that's all right then close the door on your way out
04:32uh-huh i sent it's going to go mad
04:42oh have i brought the car around yet elizabeth well it's only
04:48ah the telephone it's probably sheridan he's always so thoughtful so considerate of his mother
04:56come in sheridan
04:59i'm going to bring the car
05:04sheridan
05:06oh it's you daisy
05:09i was expecting sheridan he rings me incessantly
05:14daddy
05:16daddy's moved what into his room
05:17just stay there i'm coming
05:29that was my sister daisy
05:32daddy's developed a little problem
05:35i'm sorry
05:37i promised i'd call on our way
05:39oh yes of course
05:42is it something he picked up
05:43i don't think i've ever seen your sister daisy's house have a house in no
06:06no i don't i don't believe you have
06:09is it a nice house
06:11well you'd i'd really rather we were going to my sister violet's you remember violet
06:15she married that turf accountant
06:17he built that big house with a sauna and room for a pony
06:21you've heard me speak of violet frequently
06:24you'd like violets
06:26maybe i like daisies
06:28well possibly you may you you you well may
06:32what kind of a house is daisies actually but
06:36it's uh quite like one of these
06:38yes in fact it's very like one of these
06:43come to think of it it is one of them
06:48yes here it is
06:57now you stay there elizabeth and don't move
07:01oh all right i won't invite you in in case daddy's contracted something unsightly
07:07with regards to daisy hmm oh i will yes yes thank you
07:13thank you
07:26i will
09:56A car? How did you get here?
09:57My neighbour, Elizabeth, gave me a lift.
10:00Oh, well, let's bring her in.
10:01No, no.
10:03She sends her regards.
10:05I didn't see a car.
10:06Well, she's just round the corner, waiting.
10:09Morning, Iseth.
10:10Come for the wedding.
10:14Why is it one always sees so much of Onslow?
10:17Does he never cover himself entirely?
10:20He likes to keep his arms free.
10:23I don't know why.
10:23I don't know why.
10:23He never does much with them.
10:26He's never going for their honeymoon.
10:28Oh, it's not funny, Onslow.
10:29It's not bad for starters.
10:33Onslow, you're not going to sit there watching television when Daddy is the victim of a cunning plot.
10:38Who is this unscrupulous female?
10:39Who is this unscrupulous female?
10:40I've never seen her before.
10:42I don't know where he found her.
10:43Poor Daddy.
10:45When he should be enjoying his declining years.
10:47I think he is enjoying his declining years.
10:51She is upstairs in his bedroom.
10:54You haven't let her into Daddy's bedroom.
10:56She's just sitting there in a chair.
10:58He's fast asleep.
11:00Good, this.
11:01Well, we must get rid of her.
11:03She won't go.
11:04Have you spoken to her firmly?
11:06I tried that.
11:08I even used the ultimate threat I sent Onslow.
11:10Why don't you go home, I said.
11:13Bog off, she said.
11:14Look, we've got to get her out of Daddy's bedroom before it radically affects his pensionable status.
11:26Shh.
11:28Shh.
11:40What's going on?
11:42Nothing.
11:42She's just sitting there without moving.
11:46For a moment, I thought it was Onslow.
11:49It's remarks like that that hope to cool the first furious fires of our marriage.
11:53Now, don't start arguing.
11:55What's Daddy doing?
11:56He's still asleep.
11:58There's the answer.
11:59She forced herself on him while he was still asleep.
12:04Daddy.
12:08I am his oldest daughter.
12:10I have been consulted in this matter, and it has been decided that you can't stay here.
12:18He offered me marriage.
12:20Daddy has not been well.
12:23I've got witnesses.
12:24Daddy is sometimes not altogether logical.
12:28He offered me marriage.
12:30Look, you cannot take advantage of an ailing old man.
12:34He took advantage of me.
12:39When?
12:40When?
12:41Never mind.
12:43I've got witnesses.
12:44I think you must have misunderstood him.
12:48Oh, I understood him.
12:51He offered me marriage.
12:54Haven't you got a home to go to?
12:56Certainly.
12:58It's here.
12:59We're going to need a bigger teapot.
13:03You'll need nothing of the kind.
13:06This lady is going.
13:08I can't just leave him.
13:10I mean, what kind of basis is that for a marriage?
13:13He'll probably have forgotten all about you when he wakes up.
13:18He'll want to play with his trains.
13:20Trains?
13:21Oh, I like trains.
13:23I can play with trains.
13:26What about your family?
13:28Won't they be missing you?
13:30I've only got a son.
13:32Ah.
13:33A son?
13:34I have a son, too.
13:36You can't desert him.
13:38They need us.
13:39He's 45 years old.
13:41A very tricky age.
13:48I'll have to go.
13:49Elizabeth is waiting and Mrs. Councillor Nugent.
13:52It's my day for the charity shop.
13:54What are we going to do with the woman?
13:55She could make a fool for Bragg.
13:58I've got the son's address.
14:00I shall call and make sure he fetches her home.
14:02Now, I must go.
14:09She's a real organiser, our heart.
14:11She's a real...
14:12Onslaught.
14:13I don't know.
14:43I don't know.
15:13I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
15:29Is everything all right?
15:33Hmm?
15:34Where's your father?
15:37Remarkably relaxed.
15:39Just turn left here, Elizabeth.
15:47I have a call to make.
15:48Here?
15:49This is the address.
15:51You want this street?
15:57My charitable duties bring me here.
16:01Someone you know?
16:02No, no, no.
16:04Total stranger.
16:05I love you.
16:15I love you.
16:15Mr. Duxbury?
16:41Duxbury? Duxbury?
16:43Never heard of him.
16:44You heard of a Duxbury?
16:45Not around here.
16:46He's never heard of him either.
16:48You shouldn't be asking us anyway.
16:49We just happen to be here delivering these boxes of waste paper for recycling.
16:54But I got this address from his mother.
16:56Mother?
16:57She's gone off to be married.
16:59Oh, no, she hasn't.
17:00She rang me this morning.
17:03So you are the son.
17:05You know how it is.
17:06You forget things.
17:09What can we do for you?
17:11You can go and get her back.
17:12That's what you can do.
17:14Back?
17:14Back?
17:15I've only just got rid of her.
17:17You'll find her at this address.
17:22I expect her to be gone within the hour.
17:25You can't come between two lovers.
17:28She's taking advantage of a senile gentleman.
17:31It's just what she needs.
17:32They'll be great together.
17:33Within the hour.
17:38Within the hour.
17:39Mrs. Councillor Nugent, so sorry we're late.
17:49Just a little family hiccup.
17:51This is my neighbour, Mrs. Elizabeth Warden.
17:54You'll remember Elizabeth.
17:57She's almost always at my candlelight suppers.
18:01I have no time for socialising.
18:02Oh, no, no, that's quite true.
18:06Mrs. Councillor Nugent is famous for her dedication to social service.
18:10Oh, that's nice.
18:11You'll have to try and bring a little happiness to people's lives.
18:15Not too much, mind you, else they start taking things for granted.
18:19Never know when to stop.
18:20Next thing you know, they're behaving in a disgusting manner.
18:25Enjoying excessive romantic behaviour.
18:28Mrs. Councillor Nugent is a force in the community
18:31dedicated to the suppression of excessive romantic behaviour.
18:34Really?
18:35I won't have it.
18:36There's more to life than being all dolled up for the opposite sex.
18:42Hmm?
18:44Do!
18:46You need sex, yes.
18:48Oh, I do so agree.
18:49I've always warned my Sheridan against females
18:52who flaunt themselves at the opposite sex.
19:02If you'll excuse me, I'll just go and check our window display.
19:08Listen, what are you doing now?
19:09Just keep walking, Rose dear.
19:12Whatever you do, don't bend down.
19:14I forbid you ever to bend down in this vicinity.
19:16I've brought some clothing for the shop.
19:22That's so kind of you, dear.
19:24It's much appreciated.
19:25Well, let me take it in then.
19:26Why can't I take it in for you?
19:28Oh, I take it in.
19:30I don't care.
19:32I don't care about anything.
19:33I find life very bleak in the absence of a very special Mr. Blenkinson.
19:39Hmm?
19:40I thought it was a Mr. Hepplewhite.
19:42Don't you mention that creep to me.
19:45He was shallow.
19:46You were going to commit suicide over him?
19:49But that was before I found out he was shallow.
19:52And that was before I met the real thing.
19:54I remember you threatened to commit suicide over a Mr. Hepplewhite.
19:58You wanted Mummy's wedding dress to be buried in.
20:01He wouldn't have fitted me anyway.
20:03I'd have looked dreadful.
20:05And now it's a Mr. Blenkinson.
20:08Yes.
20:10I warn you, Rose.
20:11You're still not having Mummy's wedding dress.
20:13Who asked you for it?
20:15Oh, don't worry.
20:15I'm not going to do anything stupid.
20:18We're finished with men.
20:20I wish you meant it.
20:22Oh, I do mean it.
20:24Men nothing but heartache and trouble.
20:26I know what you mean.
20:28I can never get Richard to fold his pyjamas.
20:32They're not worth it.
20:34I'm determined.
20:36I'm going to spend my life alone.
20:39I think that's very wise, dear.
20:41But you'll need a longer skirt.
20:43I've given up, men.
20:44I've given up worrying about men.
20:47That's what's in the bag.
20:48I've given up all my best clothes.
20:52That's very kind of you, dear.
20:55No, let me take it in for you.
20:57I'm sure there's some poor soul who'll appreciate it.
21:00Now, run along home, dear.
21:02And tell them I'll find some way of saving Daddy
21:04from a fate worse than senility.
21:08Rose.
21:09Come here.
21:10There's too much interest in the opposite sex.
21:20There's too much if it goes on.
21:21Well, I must say, I've never felt overwhelmed by it.
21:27Just a little charitable gift from a well-wisher.
21:29Our forefathers managed.
21:31They practically went through their entire lives
21:33without any interest in the opposite sex.
21:35Well, it may not have broadcasted.
21:37They live plainly.
21:38That's the secret of life, living plainly.
21:41No frills or frippery.
21:42Finance and general purposes.
21:54Oh, Hyacin.
21:56You sound upset.
21:58I have to save your father from what?
22:01Marriage.
22:01Marriage.
22:04At his age, in his condition,
22:07won't it interfere with the medication?
22:09I can't just drop everything and go.
22:13All right.
22:15All right, I can drop everything and go.
22:18I use my lunchtime.
22:20He can't be married before lunchtime.
22:24She wants to stay.
22:26We haven't got a big enough teapot.
22:28I think we should reconsider.
22:30Take her home.
22:32I can't take her back now.
22:33She's just found happiness.
22:36It breaks your heart, doesn't it?
22:37We don't want her.
22:40They're in love.
22:41He's still asleep.
22:43I've got witnesses.
22:45I can't come between a man and his job, sir.
22:47I don't believe this is happening.
22:49Well, it is, and she wants to stay.
22:52They can write.
22:53She's got witnesses.
22:55I don't know why you dragged me into this.
22:58Well, let her be happy somewhere else.
22:59I demand you be firm, Richard.
23:01Let's face it, you're firmer than me.
23:03She's not today, she's not.
23:05She's going now.
23:06Shouldn't that be firmer than I?
23:09He's an old man.
23:10What's going on?
23:11Dad's been accused of being engaged.
23:14She's got witnesses.
23:16This is out of the question.
23:17We shall take legal advice.
23:19What's it got to do with you?
23:20She's my sister-in-law.
23:23Hard luck.
23:24None of those are rats.
23:25Is this your mother?
23:26Yeah, broken-hearted.
23:27I can see the resemblance.
23:30You both got the same powerful profile.
23:33Look, let's not stand out here for the benefit of the neighbours.
23:36Let's go.
23:36Let's go.
23:38I think that I should fall to this from the peak of my candlelight suppers.
23:48Oh, I can't take any more.
23:52Let me make you a cup of tea.
23:55Not in that kitchen.
23:56Let me make you a cup of tea.
24:26Councillor Nugent.
24:27I hope she didn't see me.
24:30Better let me answer the door.
24:32No.
24:33We can't let word get through to the council chamber that you've even been seen in this area.
24:37What are you doing?
24:46What is it you want?
24:50I am a foreigner in your country.
24:53I want to return this load of shameless see-through, ex-certificate, up-to-no-good underwear that was left in error at the charity shop.
25:02I know this is the right address because she left her poll tax demand in the bag.
25:07Get rose.
25:08Get rose.
25:09Get rose.
25:10Fetch rose.
25:11They're out of this.
25:12why not please to push them through the letterbox you could push most of them through the keyhole
25:24it's mrs nugent she's brought you under things back oh goody and i never thought i'd need them
25:32in the absence of mr blenkinsop look i've got to be going now now you get rid of mrs councillor
25:37nugent wait here and if she asks after me i am not here i have never been here and besides which i'm a
25:47foreign extraction is it always a madhouse around me what do you mean i believe you've got something
25:59for me these are not the kind of garments we feel comfortable with at the charity shop and that's
26:04yours too she's right charity begins at home and this practically will be your home if your mother
26:18stays with my father mother are you coming mother mother i command you mother we're leaving now
26:32oh my god i wonder if dad will miss her he'll have forgotten she's ever been here i hope so
26:46i'd hate dad to think that we've broken anything up yeah that's softly why do they have to embrace in
26:56the street at least make it put a shirt on where must be going all my undies back for no purpose
27:09i wonder if i want to ring mr blenkinson maybe must get back to the office
27:16and i to the charity shop where shirts are available at giveaway prices
27:21and you can give us a lift then