Mire Farm By Bruce Bedford

Oldtuberadio

Simon Shaw's first challenge as a diplomat is to reconcile his eccentric family on their farm with the angry villagers of Butterdale in Yorkshire.  Paul Downing stars in Bruce Bedford’s drama.  Simon Shaw ...... Paul Downing John Shaw ...... Stephen Thorne May Shaw ...... June Barrie Beatrice Shaw ...... Jane Whittenshaw Grandad Shaw ...... Howard Goorney Eric Flow ...... Nigel Betts Vanessa ...... Julia Hills Mrs Wentworth ...... Auriol Smith Vicar ...... Christopher Good Colonel Wince ...... James Green Taxi Man ...... John Wood  Directed at BBC Bristol by Andy Jordan.  First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in November 1990.   Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00Can't do you if it's all the 15 miles.

00:21Clocking off.

00:22Just to Butterdale.

00:24You'll do.

00:25Just the one suitcase then.

00:26Yes, I'll carry the attaché case.

00:31We present Meyer Farm by Bruce Bedford.

00:42That's neat.

00:44I can turn the car radio on if you'd rather.

00:46It's not a radio.

00:49Monday, August the 8th.

00:52Start of case notes.

00:53You what?

00:54Nothing.

00:55The Yorkshire Dales.

00:57Such idyllic countryside, yet harbouring a social confrontation that makes Beirut seem cosy.

01:03You been there then?

01:04What?

01:05Oh, Beirut?

01:07No.

01:08Not yet.

01:08Two bitterly opposed parties, and a social gulf unbridged by years.

01:16A microcosmic example...

01:17You a sortle worker then?

01:18No.

01:19Down for the vac.

01:21They open the gates now and then.

01:23Great to escape from the dreaming spires.

01:26Aye.

01:28Sort of parole then?

01:29Yes.

01:30Very good.

01:31A microcosmic example of the world's great trouble spots, presenting just as great a challenge to the diplomat, taxing to the utmost his skills, endurance, and diplomacy.

01:44Oh, my God.

01:45Don't wing you, Simon.

01:47You get up there and do it.

01:49Daddy thinks you're super foreign office material.

01:51Probably.

01:52And he's potty about case studies.

01:54You slip him a great fat case study on just how diplomatic you can be.

01:58God, even in Yorkshire.

02:00And he'll wilt.

02:01Now, don't touch me there, Simon.

02:03Oh.

02:04You're sick then?

02:06Only in the head.

02:08I see.

02:09Pills no good then.

02:11Transport me to oblivion.

02:13Oh, these fancy names.

02:16Dunroaning, Chez New, Acapulco, Bloody Villa.

02:20Used to be just numbers.

02:22Just take me home.

02:29Oh, Simon's coming home.

02:32Why now, John?

02:35So many vacations, and this is the first time he's coming home?

02:39Oh, there's...

02:40Well, they keep them really busy down there, Oxford.

02:43The daft dollar is going on for ages, but work spills over, Simon said, didn't he?

02:48And all those charity committees he's been on.

02:51Save the seals.

02:52Save the children.

02:53Save the Welsh.

02:53Wales.

02:54Don't poke.

02:55It's not fake, chap.

02:56Save electricity.

02:58A great saver, our Simon.

03:00Oh, that reminds me.

03:01Yes, I saved the stale bread in the bin.

03:03Breadcrumbs?

03:04No.

03:05Beatrice.

03:06What's the time?

03:06Er, gone five.

03:08You'll need locking up again.

03:10All right.

03:12There we go.

03:13Stale bread and water, and count yourself lucky.

03:36The mother superior is far from pleased.

03:38What about a video?

03:51You'd love E.T.

03:58Shaping the world with just words.

04:01All the greats.

04:02Kennedy.

04:02I take pride in the words, Ich bin ein Violiner.

04:11Whereabouts in Butterdale, then?

04:13Kissinger.

04:14The ceasefire will go into effect at seven o'clock Washington time.

04:21Sorry, Meyer Farm.

04:23Meyer Farm?

04:24Yes.

04:25You said Butterdale.

04:30That's the villain.

04:31And the dale.

04:32Meyer Farm.

04:36You're from round here, then.

04:39No.

04:40My cousin...

04:41Right.

04:42Right.

04:46But perhaps some confrontations are absolutes.

04:51Beyond even the greatest diplomatic skills.

04:53Stop moaning.

04:55If you really want to start in the Foreign Office when we've graduated, get up there and get a grip.

05:00Don't forget, Daddy's big in the...

05:02F.O.

05:03No need for language.

05:05I'm only going by what my cousin says.

05:09Any road.

05:09We're there.

05:12This is only the gate.

05:14Can't you run up to the farm?

05:15More than my job's worth.

05:21Foot and mouth regulations.

05:23Foot and...

05:24The last outbreak was years ago.

05:26Nobody goes further.

05:28Can't be too careful.

05:30Six fifty.

05:34How precise.

05:36Take a tip from me, lad.

05:38You'll be safer off back in your nut house.

05:40My what?

05:49Oh, well.

05:57Simon Shaw's first great challenge, the diplomat.

06:01Maya Farm versus the village of Butterdale.

06:05Reconciliation?

06:07There must be.

06:08Hi.

06:23Simon.

06:24Oh, Simon.

06:27Mother.

06:28Simon, lad.

06:29Father.

06:30Oh, Simon, sit down.

06:32Sit down, John.

06:33Put the kettle on.

06:34It's on, mate.

06:35It's on.

06:36Hey, lad, stand up.

06:37Let's have a look at you.

06:38Sit down, love.

06:40You're not done in.

06:42I'm fine, honestly.

06:44Look, I'll just drop this case upstairs.

06:46Say hello to Grandad and Beatrice.

06:47Who is she?

06:48Oh, penitent nun.

06:50Bow of silence.

06:51Then come straight down for a cup of tea and some scones.

06:55John, can't you take this place?

06:56No, no, no.

06:57I'll manage.

06:58See you in a minute.

06:59Right.

07:00He looks grand-numpy, haven't you?

07:01There you go.

07:02He's lost right here, too.

07:04Yeah, I do.

07:05He looks a lot of room.

07:10Just me, Grandad.

07:11Hello.

07:12And it's you, Grandad.

07:19Oh, sorry.

07:20Didn't see you.

07:21Hello.

07:22Well, see you later, Grandad.

07:24Hello, Bee.

07:39Simon.

07:42That's okay.

07:43Great to see you, too.

07:47So, it's not a waste of time.

07:49They're teaching you enough.

07:50Are you getting enough to eat?

07:52Plenty, honestly.

07:53Good.

07:55That's a great idea.

07:57Well, this?

07:57The family blackboard?

07:58One of your mam's innovations.

08:00All for the day.

08:01We take that in turns.

08:02And what beer is this?

08:03Clever, that.

08:04Daily menu with stop-press alterations.

08:06Depending on what I can get from the shops, of course.

08:10The butcher's the worst.

08:12Oh, sorry.

08:13We're right out of...

08:15Sorry, that bit's reserved for Mrs. So-and-so.

08:18So it's still the same with the village?

08:21Apple crumble, love.

08:22Thanks.

08:22They...

08:23They...

08:24So they still don't see your point of view, Father?

08:28Oh!

08:30Hey, lad.

08:31If I were cursed with just one point of view, they'd be able to come to terms with that.

08:35Just the one target for their Christian forgiveness.

08:38Just the one cheek to turn.

08:39And that's only a quarter effort for those two-faced morons.

08:43Here you are, love.

08:48Oh!

08:49Yes, it's almost a kind of colour prejudice, like television.

08:53Black and white they can cope with, cheaply.

08:55But you know your dad?

08:57A rainbow.

08:58And that needs much more licence.

09:00The rift's just as bad, then.

09:02Rift?

09:03Between Maya Farm and the village?

09:04Hey, that's good, eh, me?

09:10Sorry, not your fault, lad.

09:11You've not, um...

09:12Well, you're a bit out of touch.

09:14Two rifts, to be exact.

09:15Mm.

09:16About two feet deep.

09:17What?

09:19Four...

09:19Five months ago, they took objection to some experiments I had to do.

09:23And I'll be getting to them, lad.

09:25You hang on.

09:26Any road.

09:26They crept out one night and dug a ditch, all the way along the three fields between

09:30farm and village, just below that wire fence.

09:33Whatever for?

09:34Symbolical.

09:35Like they were trying to contain some demon.

09:38Hey.

09:39Go on.

09:40Ask me.

09:42So, what did you do, father?

09:45I went out next night and dug me own ditch.

09:49This side of theirs.

09:50But just a bit longer and just a bit deeper.

09:53Sort of bollocks to their symbolics.

09:55Ha ha ha ha ha.

09:58Yeah.

10:01Of course I do, Vanessa.

10:03And of course I know how much you've weaved set our hearts on me getting a foreign office

10:06career.

10:06So, what are you bleating about?

10:08I'm not...

10:09I'm in the hall.

10:12It's awkward.

10:14It's just so much worse than before, darling.

10:16With the village.

10:17God, there are even ditches now.

10:19Ditches?

10:20What are you on about?

10:21Get a grip, Simon.

10:23I'll be there to help with the groundwork.

10:25Meet the train tomorrow at 12.40.

10:27Missing you terribly.

10:30Vanessa.

10:30Get through, all right?

10:39Just catching up with friends.

10:41Well, it's late.

10:43I'd better...

10:43Just suck this last homebrew.

10:45Special nightcap.

10:47Keep the borgie man away.

10:48Remember how you...

10:50Well, no, you've grown up now.

10:53I gather you've got another scheme.

10:56The big one.

10:56But they're always...

10:58The big one.

10:59Oh, two ways about it.

11:00Just waiting for the part from Aberdeen.

11:02Then we're set up for life.

11:04Your mum, Beatrice, you, me.

11:07It'll be here soon, the part.

11:09Tell you everything then, properly.

11:12Grandad seems well.

11:13Hmm?

11:14Rooted in that back room of his, but he's blossoming.

11:17Never better.

11:18Who was that man with him when I came?

11:20Who?

11:21Dark, mid-thirties.

11:22Mending something, or something.

11:24There's been no one...

11:25Oh, no, no.

11:27That's Eric Flo, the gas man.

11:29No, Eric and Grandad don't get any visitors.

11:31Gas man?

11:31Not Eric and Grandad, not visitors.

11:34They, um...

11:35Well, they don't need them.

11:38Another drop of this, sir.

11:40Think I'll get to bed.

11:42It's been quite a day.

11:43Good night.

11:44Sleep tight.

11:46Your rooms...

11:48Just as you left it, lad.

11:50No, honestly, Mother.

11:57My stomach's forgotten how to take a big farm breakfast.

12:02I'll fetch business' tray down.

12:03Oh, thanks, pet.

12:04She's laid the ha...

12:05No, that was...

12:08It's on the blackboard.

12:09I'll take Eric and Grandad's tea through.

12:12Quartered of eggs nestling in home-smoked ham,

12:14with black pudding, depending on the butcher crossed out.

12:16Die Weltgeschichte ist ans Weltgericht, Schiller.

12:20Ah, Beatrice.

12:22The young Queen Victoria.

12:23That's it.

12:25I had a terrible job curtsying with the tray.

12:39Your young majesty.

12:42You're looking great.

12:43Being imperial, that hardly surprises us.

12:46You're looking super tall, Simon.

12:48How long are you here for?

12:49Ever and ever.

12:51Stay?

12:51We wish it.

12:53How's Oxford?

12:54Dull.

12:55Exciting.

12:57Depends.

12:57We are still an island.

12:59I know.

12:59The taxi wouldn't bring me past the gate.

13:01One's Papa.

13:02Still the madcap schemes.

13:04Yet another the big one.

13:05What's it this time?

13:06One's God knows.

13:07And the villagers, still up in arms.

13:09We are aware of unruly dominions.

13:11Oh, Simon of a sweetie.

13:13Tarby.

13:13Who's this gas man in Grandad's room?

13:19He's there again today.

13:20Eric Flo.

13:21Came here four months ago to mend something or check something in Grandad's room.

13:25And he's been mending it or checking it ever since.

13:27Are we on the gas?

13:28One did wonder.

13:29Four months.

13:30How far's he got?

13:31Not even halfway, one shouldn't think.

13:33It's a labour of love.

13:34How?

13:36Mint Imperials!

13:37One's favourite.

13:40He's in love with Grandad.

13:41Now you get that tea down, your Grandad.

13:50Give me the work.

13:52Deathberg.

13:53You old sweet talker.

13:55It's sugared, by the way.

13:57Saw to that myself.

13:58After all, Eric, I said.

14:00After all.

14:00If that man could go to the trouble of seeing that my day of toil started with such a thoughtful touch, such a sunny welcome, coming here to find an almost fresh dandelion in me mole grips.

14:13Poetry, that Grandad.

14:14Sheer poetry.

14:15Then that man deserves at least that someone who cares should care that his tea is properly sugared.

14:20Yum, Miss Grape.

14:22Yeah!

14:23And Eric, I said.

14:25Someone who can do something so thoughtful as leaving a dandelion in your mole grips also deserves, and most surely deserves, to be made party to.

14:35And I mean fully party to.

14:36Not just some casual acquaintance with.

14:39Those great events.

14:41Which you, Eric Flo, are caught within as a prime motivator and, let us say it, executor.

14:51Events which, and we shan't hedge, will reshape the world!

15:07Good journey.

15:09You look absolutely...

15:10There was more talk later, Simon.

15:12How's it going?

15:13A bit grim, really.

15:15Had an audience, had a chat with Beatrice this morning.

15:19It's not just as bad with the village.

15:21It's worse.

15:23Phone calls, hate mail...

15:25Super!

15:26This is first grade malice, Vanessa.

15:29I'm not sure I...

15:29Rubbish!

15:30More to get your teeth into.

15:32Think what a great report it'll make for Daddy.

15:34But I've no idea how to...

15:35Leave the groundwork to me.

15:37I picked up tons tagging after Mummy and Daddy in all those foreign places.

15:40I'll get installed in the hotel.

15:42The dubious ferret isn't exactly a hotel.

15:44It doesn't matter.

15:45It's Forward Operational Base.

15:47And I'll get the undercover groundwork done.

15:49Find out which coves we've got to target.

15:51Coves?

15:52How were they?

15:55Who?

15:56The friends you went to see.

15:57Oh, same as ever.

15:59You know.

16:00So was this pin money job then, Mother?

16:03Oh, just something I've been putting together over the last year or so.

16:08Come on.

16:09I'll show you my little corner.

16:13It's in the spare room next to where I can land out.

16:17I'll bring you coffee through, love.

16:19Oh, this is it.

16:25Your little corner.

16:28I don't believe it.

16:31Computer.

16:32Modem.

16:34Fax.

16:35VTU laser printer.

16:37Well, the telex and photocopier are under the table.

16:40Nowhere else for them.

16:41I really should get organized.

16:43Word processor.

16:44Oh, bless the day.

16:45I got that hard disk.

16:4720 megabytes.

16:48Though, I'm not sure I shouldn't have gone to 40 while I was at it.

16:52This is fantastic.

16:54The toaster's for snacks.

16:55What is it?

16:57What is this job?

16:58Well, your cousin Susan rang me last year.

17:01Couldn't confide in her parents.

17:03You know, Derek and Maury.

17:05Did I think such and such was the man for her?

17:08And it got me thinking.

17:09So, Maury are marriages.

17:12A marriage agency?

17:14Yes.

17:14What does Father make of all this?

17:16Oh, he's working on some solar panels to drive it all.

17:20And isn't it time I set up a franchise?

17:23You've always loved helping people and bringing them together.

17:27When it's right.

17:28Don't you think, wouldn't it be right, the village?

17:33Simon, I'd love nothing more than to be able to walk through Butterdale without people scurrying into shop doorways.

17:40It's silly, really.

17:41It's nothing to do with me.

17:43It's just with your dad.

17:44So why...

17:45And because it's John, it's everything to do with me.

17:49Couldn't you persuade him to patch things up with the villagers?

17:53Of course.

17:55But if someone else...

17:57I mean, if, say, I could arrange...

18:00I don't know.

18:01Something.

18:02If it's what John wanted.

18:04If not, never.

18:06But you know that.

18:08Yes.

18:09Yes.

18:11Anyway, I've...

18:12I've got to make a quick phone call.

18:14Oh, you was the one in here, love.

18:16Oh, no.

18:16No, no, no, thanks.

18:17Don't want to disturb.

18:19Anyway.

18:21Thanks.

18:23And you were right about this hotel.

18:26Positively medieval.

18:27It is pretty old.

18:28Anyway, how's the prelims?

18:29Landed your mother yet?

18:30Not...

18:31Not exactly.

18:32But she'd go along.

18:34Along what?

18:35Way?

18:36Do be precise, Simon.

18:37Daddy said...

18:38Yes.

18:39How's it going in the village?

18:41I'm in.

18:42Almost one of the locals.

18:43Bags of charm are just the right question.

18:44Gets you anywhere.

18:46So who should we approach?

18:47Target, Simon.

18:48Target.

18:49Sorry.

18:50There are three key personnel.

18:52A Mrs Wentworth, the vicar, of course, of course.

18:54And a Colonel Wince.

18:56You persuade them, and a diplomatic resolution is in the bag.

18:59Provided...

19:00Provided I can persuade Father too.

19:02Yes, I know.

19:04Look, someone's coming.

19:06Si-me?

19:07Yes.

19:08When can I see you?

19:10You know.

19:17He's on the phone again, then.

19:20Something's worrying him.

19:21But he won't say.

19:24I'll have a word.

19:29Could I borrow the Land Rover again this afternoon?

19:32Thought I...

19:32It's yours, lad.

19:33Whenever you like.

19:34That gas conversion's not bad, is it?

19:36Finished it last week.

19:37Goes like a dream.

19:38Erm, look, I'm just going to take a stroll.

19:42Beat the bounds.

19:43Fancy coming?

19:44Fine, yes.

19:45Well, you'll not need a cold.

19:46It's a lovely morning.

19:52Stop here a bit.

19:55Just look round, eh?

19:58It is beautiful.

20:00Except for that sad scab down there, of course.

20:03The village.

20:04Still, if I held one thumb up, it'd quite disappear.

20:08It would still be there.

20:09No.

20:10Look.

20:11Father, it's still there.

20:13Not from where I'm standing, lad.

20:14Of course, they can't do that down there.

20:19Make those disappear.

20:21What?

20:21Not all the time, anyway.

20:23Well, your line of old pylons.

20:25What do you mean, the wind generators?

20:27Oh, a bit rough now, but when I get the blades finished...

20:30But haven't you considered that from down there, they must look...

20:34Some might think them an eyesore.

20:36Yeah, I bet they had that in Holland once.

20:38You can't stick these windmills up.

20:41How'll we get the tourists in, then?

20:42And there's that.

20:44Named specifically as being the sole reason why Butterdale can't even enter the best-kept village competition.

20:49Yorkshire's first artificial ski slope, that would have been.

20:53It's half a hillside covered in a patchwork of brightly covered reject plastic doormats.

20:58Reds, yellows, blues...

20:59Two thousand four hundred to your doorstep at that price?

21:03You can't say no.

21:05If the bloody factory hadn't tightened up its quality control, those people down there would have been lapping it up.

21:10Another Zermatt.

21:11And the dam there, across the beck.

21:13Millions of gallons.

21:15They must live in fear down there.

21:17It's bulging.

21:18Oh, it's meant to.

21:19Sort of.

21:21Any road, I'm still working on it.

21:23It'll be right.

21:27Come on.

21:29Let's head back.

21:34I've never...

21:35Never understood these schemes of yours.

21:38Well, the technicalities aren't all that...

21:40No, I mean, you've got plenty of land, most of it reasonable.

21:45Thanks to your grandad.

21:46But you spent most of your time on some way-out scheme or other.

21:50Why?

21:51What?

21:53See that bird?

21:55Right up there, yes?

21:57Hmm?

21:58Well, they won't.

21:59Those blinkered cripples down there.

22:02They'll be too busy staring at their feet, making sure they shuffle along in the required rut.

22:07Not way-out schemes, son.

22:09Way up.

22:11I want to soar, not shuffle.

22:13Soar?

22:17Yes.

22:18You do, don't you?

22:21And your quaint honour turned to dust, and into ashes all my lust.

22:27The grave's a fine and private place, but none, I think, do their embrace.

22:33These little nuts are a real nuisance, grandad.

22:35Tricky, tricky, tricky.

22:36Yeah.

22:37You sorry, lunatic.

22:39But it's learning to cope with whatever life throws at you next, really, isn't it?

22:43Someone of your calibre now, someone of that calibre has learned, and let's say learned

22:47the hard, not the soft way, that's important, has learned to cope, to take it on the chin.

22:52To do just the right thing, say, just the right thing, and at the right time, too.

22:56And a man of that calibre has an aim in life, just as we all should, just indeed as I, Eric Flo, though

23:07apparently just a humble gasman, have happened upon my true role.

23:12And that role cannot be shaped, nor shall be, for it is truly fundamental.

23:20It's me.

23:27Well, come in.

23:31You're not up.

23:32Yes, I was.

23:34I've had a hard morning sleuthing.

23:36What's that?

23:37Oh, supposed to be urgent files I'm delivering to you.

23:40Don't think I've blown your cover at reception.

23:42That nightdress is...

23:45The one you bought.

23:46A bit impractical.

23:48Must have packed in a hurry.

23:50Come here.

23:58Good to see you, Simi.

24:01You too, Nessie.

24:03Look, sorry about the decidedly furtive phone calls from my farm.

24:08Phone's in the hallway and it can get, like, Waterloo Station.

24:11Come here.

24:12Oh, Nessie.

24:18My Mata Hari.

24:20Mata Hari's the word, all right.

24:22The vicar and Mrs Wentworth are in the back.

24:25They are?

24:26Up to the hilt.

24:27I've got the dirt on the bone.

24:28Well, surely the vicar...

24:29He was the easiest in a way.

24:31Just go for the prodigal son soft spot and you'll score, sure of it.

24:34What?

24:34And Mrs Wentworth's a killing seal of the WI.

24:37Social responsibility and all that.

24:39Belter was united, we stand and she'll topple.

24:43Simon, are you taking this in?

24:45Not entirely, no.

24:47Oh, never mind.

24:48It's all in that envelope.

24:49Detailed character studies, foibles, the lot.

24:52For a tight-knit community, Butterdale's come up with some real pearlers.

24:56Typed?

24:56I know you can't read my writing.

24:58Come here.

24:59But what about Carla Wintz?

25:03Serious problem.

25:05He's a different kettle of fish, something of a dark horse.

25:07I haven't got any lead there.

25:08Give me time.

25:10Come here.

25:12Oh, yes.

25:24Yes?

25:27Daddy!

25:29What a surprise.

25:30That man always knows.

25:32No, we were just discussing strategy.

25:35Well, all right.

25:36Tactics.

25:36Of course we've got the strategy.

25:39No, he's well on top of things.

25:41Very soon, anyway.

25:43How's Mummy?

25:44Did she manage to persuade the bishop?

25:45Let me have that.

25:47Hang on a tick, Daddy.

25:48Simon, what?

25:51Hello, sir.

25:53Yes, it is.

25:55Just wondered if...

25:56Well, I know your military connections are pretty hot.

26:00Splendid.

26:01Well, just wondered if you'd ask one of them to make a few discreet inquiries about a Colonel Wintz.

26:07Lives in Butterdale.

26:10Yes.

26:11That's it.

26:12You know, something to use as a bit of an old lever.

26:16Wintz, yes.

26:18Would you like another word with an...

26:20No.

26:22Well, goodbye, sir.

26:26Come here, you.

26:35May you never falter.

26:37That was magnificent.

26:39But you'd like the table clear.

26:41Please, please.

26:43Aye, look, lad.

26:45This is it.

26:48Thanks, Mummy.

26:49The big one.

26:51The big one.

26:52That's my old school atlas.

26:54Aye.

26:54Page...

26:5512.

26:56Britain.

26:57Now, I'll rule a pencil line from the North Sea at one end, right across to the Celtic Sea.

27:05There.

27:06Uh-huh.

27:06Now, where does that line, linking the biggest proven and the biggest potential oil fields in Europe, pass through?

27:13Eh?

27:15Bradford.

27:15What?

27:16What?

27:16Yeah, pass me that thick felt tip.

27:20Right.

27:23There.

27:24Ah, my farm.

27:26Exactly.

27:28And right through that backyard.

27:30But that pen line's about 30 miles wide far.

27:33And right through that backyard.

27:35But it goes over several million other places, too.

27:37Yeah.

27:37Astute lad.

27:38What did I tell you, May?

27:39So, we pin the bugger down.

27:43Intersection.

27:45Lay lines.

27:46Significance.

27:47Look.

27:48A pencil line, mark you, from that service station on the M6 across to more or less that unleaded pump at Arnold Babcock's garage.

28:00There.

28:02Right through, bang through, that backyard.

28:06And that means only one thing.

28:08It does.

28:09Oil.

28:10Black gold.

28:11Oh, no.

28:12But that's only the paperwork.

28:13And who'd go by that?

28:15It had to be substantiated.

28:17And this is what got the villagers digging that ditch.

28:21Seismographic tests.

28:22Oh, no.

28:22Oh, yes.

28:24Anyway, I'll have to leave you two to it.

28:27I've got to tell Beatrice the doctor only gives her a couple more months.

28:31She's a consumptive novelist.

28:33Right, love.

28:33The trouble is, in the day, you've got milk tankers and quarry trucks rumbling by all the time.

28:40Those seismographs, ex-Iranian, very sensitive, were picking them up without fail.

28:46So it had to be a night-time job.

28:48Dead a night.

28:49Naturally.

28:50Sixteen.

28:51Carefully placed charges of jelly night.

28:53How on earth?

28:54Don't ask.

28:56Bang.

28:57And I got the reading.

29:00No doubt about it.

29:01Checked all the textbooks.

29:03Some there's millions of gallons waiting to be tapped out there right under our backyard.

29:08But father...

29:08And that's exactly what I asked myself the very first question.

29:14But how do I get it out?

29:16Eh?

29:17Three hundred feet of substandard iron drain pipe dropped at our gate this very day.

29:23We've already got the joint in sections.

29:25Engineering factory owed me a favour.

29:28And in that lovely crate from Aberdeen...

29:30Don't even ask me how much it cost.

29:33A second-hand drill bit fresh from the North Sea.

29:36Thank God for friends of friends.

29:38But oil rigs are much more than that.

29:40They cost millions.

29:41Well, theirs do.

29:42You'd be astonished where basic carpentry can get you.

29:46Here, get some elderberry wine down here.

29:49And feast your eyes on this.

29:51There.

29:57It's incredible.

29:58I knew you'd have an eye for original design.

30:01But I saw pictures like this at Sunday school.

30:03It's straight out of the Bible.

30:05There.

30:13Well, cheer, Simon.

30:17Oh, it's grand to have you back.

30:19And to be so.

30:20So.

30:21So you'll sell it by the barrel?

30:24Straight from the farm?

30:25This oil?

30:26Aye.

30:27Farm fresh.

30:28Eh?

30:29Great selling line.

30:30And it'll be unleaded.

30:32Environmentalists will come for miles for it.

30:34Doesn't have to be processed or something.

30:36Well, I'll cobble up some kits for that.

30:39Probably a basic homebrew outfit would do.

30:42DIY petrol.

30:43But the drive will be jammed with Volvos and two CVs.

30:48Isn't that patronising?

30:49Isn't that business?

30:50And the outcome of all this business, Father?

30:53What?

30:54More schemes?

30:56A proper set-up for your man.

30:58But don't you dare tell her yet.

31:01She's backed me always with everything I've done.

31:03Now it's my turn to back her.

31:05To get my own marriages on the map in whatever type size she chooses.

31:09She seems to be doing pretty well anyway.

31:12Aye.

31:13Well.

31:15But even so.

31:18Sorry.

31:20Feeling a bit.

31:24Good night.

31:26Ah, sleep tight, lad.

31:28What a man.

31:35There's no stopping him.

31:38Even though those people in the village...

31:40Just one of those bastards got against him anyway.

31:44Anyway.

31:44You never used to eat this much breakfast, Bea.

31:56A Cardiff whore doesn't get the gastronomic perks of someone working the West End, Simon.

32:00You've got to shovel it in when you can.

32:03Good job you're my brother.

32:04It'd cost you to be in my bedroom otherwise.

32:06Lucky.

32:06Thought I'd take another wand around the village this morning.

32:10Oh, yes.

32:11Nice enough place, Butterdale.

32:13Watch those girls charge over the odds, isn't it?

32:15Lots of amenities.

32:16Great bowls club.

32:18Sort of thing Father would really take a shine to.

32:20Don't you think?

32:21Oh, yes.

32:21Tons of things for Mother to do there.

32:24W.I. and...

32:26Well, tons of things.

32:27Oh, yes.

32:28And the Amateur Dramatic Society would suit you down to the...

32:31Grandad would go a bundle on the old folks' festive club.

32:35Regular outings.

32:36Parties.

32:38Don't you think?

32:40I think, brother, you're up to something.

32:42You're about as subtle as a plank.

32:44And I also think you'd better clear out of here before my first customer comes.

32:48He's a very able seaman and rather big.

32:51Catch you later, Bea.

32:52Catch nothing here, boy-o.

32:54Bye.

33:14And that's a fact.

33:16Not even five a penny.

33:17And I'm speaking as someone who stood it carefully.

33:20The intellect is...

33:21I'm off then, Father.

33:28Good luck with the oil rig.

33:30Right.

33:30Bye.

33:44But the timing's really crucial, Simon.

33:46Have you read the briefs?

33:47I'm briefed.

33:48Took me hours.

33:50Look, if you took the phone off the...

33:53To the point.

33:54Zap Mrs. Wentworth first.

33:55Outside, she's all lace and lonthorick.

33:57But inside?

33:58She's the gutsy backbone of the local W.I.

34:00and half a dozen other worthwhile's.

34:02You're to bump into her when she leaves the bread shop.

34:0412.37.

34:04Give or take four minutes.

34:05That gives us ages.

34:06But get her soul by 12.53.

34:09That'll give you seven minutes to get back outside the pub here.

34:12It's dry, so the vicar will be sitting outside,

34:14sinking at Christian half and smiling on his passing flock.

34:16But Miss Galbraith will pass at ten past one

34:19and that'll get him scurrying indoors.

34:20Harder to nail him undercover, okay?

34:22Will you be...

34:22I'll be up here ready to debrief you.

34:24And don't make a joke, Simon.

34:33I'm so sorry.

34:35Hey.

34:36Hey.

34:37Sorry, I mean, I'm sure I know you.

34:39Young man, my loaves are chilling.

34:41It's Mrs. Wentworth, isn't it?

34:43Isn't what?

34:44Yes.

34:45But I don't know...

34:47Wait a minute, though.

34:50Simon.

34:51Simon Shaw.

34:52Shaw?

34:53You don't...

34:55Oh, my God.

34:56Please make way.

34:57I'm so glad to meet you.

34:58Yes, now please.

34:59You see, from what everyone says, you're the one.

35:01I beg your pardon.

35:02Well, you're the one person in Butterdale with sufficient foresight.

35:05Are you quite sober?

35:06I've been at Oxford for the last couple of years.

35:08But now I'm back, I realize just how much...

35:10Look, Mrs. Wentworth, it's high time, Maya Farm.

35:17Well, my father took his proper place in the community.

35:20Oh, isn't it just...

35:22And I'm sure that, and I've had this from countless sources, you could bring this about.

35:27After all, you're a pillar...

35:28A what?

35:29...of society.

35:30And I know the integrity of the community of Butterdale is closest to your heart.

35:34Yes, but...

35:35You, only you, have the strength to bring about the integration of Maya Farm into the proper,

35:40the right scheme of things.

35:42Well, I...

35:43It's up to you, Mrs. Wentworth.

35:45Only you could do it.

35:48Go up there.

35:48Up there?

35:49And present the opportunity of a quiet and reasonable place in the community of which you are the...

35:54the champion.

35:56Come to tea.

35:57Tea?

35:57I'll arrange it all.

35:59There'll be no problem, no trouble.

36:01Just tea.

36:02And your persuasive presence.

36:06Oh, they'll talk about it for years.

36:08Mrs. Wentworth, the one who brought Maya Farm back into the community.

36:13Just tea?

36:14Just tea.

36:15I'll do all the groundwork.

36:18It's my family.

36:21And I think...

36:22Well, I think they deserve that last chance

36:27which was only a...

36:28A pillar?

36:30Quite.

36:31Can give.

36:32Oh.

36:34Very well.

36:35The end must justify the means.

36:38Let me know when.

36:40But of course...

36:42Yes?

36:43There's the vicar.

36:47Good heavens!

36:49We trust, sir.

36:51But generally in the singular.

36:53The very man I wanted to meet.

36:55How refreshing.

36:56So often I find I'm the pariah outside the ordained premises.

37:00Can I get you a drink?

37:01No, really.

37:03Well, perhaps just a topping up.

37:06I'll just finish this to help.

37:09Mmm.

37:11Andrew.

37:12Would you like to come inside?

37:13No, I enjoy seeing the tapestry of my parish warping and wefting before...

37:18What a splendid idea.

37:21Hello, Miss Galbraith.

37:23Sorry I can't chat today.

37:26Oxford.

37:27How charming.

37:28Your people are hereabouts.

37:30Your family?

37:31Hereabouts, yes.

37:32Delightful born to return to.

37:34It must give you great peace after the academic maelstrom.

37:37Not...

37:38Not exactly peace.

37:40Ah, I see.

37:42Hence this little talk, perhaps.

37:43Well, not perhaps.

37:45Quite certainly.

37:47If my Christian role determines anything, it is that I should be competent to bring at least tranquillity to another soul.

37:54Give me that chance.

37:56I'm Simon Shaw, the son of John Shaw at my farm.

37:58That bastard!

37:59That's quiet enough of that, Victor.

38:01This lady's here.

38:02That man, that man poured a bottle of Perrier water into the font in the middle of a christening and yelled out,

38:06Now that's what I call ecumenical.

38:08I shall tell you again.

38:09That man paraded a wooden cross outside the church at Easter with a notice saying,

38:13Would you buy carpentry from a man who couldn't do better than this?

38:16That sounds like, Father.

38:17He has a rather public way of expressing his private thoughts.

38:20Frankly, were I of a more Catholic persuasion, I'd been sensed enough to have him excommunicated.

38:24That's the trouble.

38:25He's the trouble.

38:26Communication.

38:27There isn't any.

38:28His messages come through loud and clear.

38:30But nothing from Butterdale.

38:32Only silence.

38:32And stunned.

38:33If only...

38:35Look, Vicar.

38:36If anyone can do it, you can.

38:39You have the strength to reach out the hands.

38:41Are we talking flogging?

38:42To welcome back into your fold a single sheep that has strayed.

38:46Oh, if only.

38:47It can be done.

38:49You could do it.

38:50They'll talk about it for years.

38:52The man who restored the holy integrity of the parish.

38:56Well, I...

38:57Just come up for tea one afternoon.

39:00And Mrs. Wentworth will be there, of course.

39:03She will.

39:04Agreed straight away.

39:06Very Christian.

39:07This is very important to me.

39:10Inside.

39:12I'll do all the groundwork.

39:14Have faith in me.

39:15Simon.

39:17My faith will have to be of a higher order.

39:21Oh, very well.

39:23Very well.

39:24But, of course, there's Colonel Wince.

39:28He's tricky.

39:29Nothing from Daddy's contacts yet, but I'll press for some action.

39:32You keep grinding away at your end.

39:34It's unbelievable.

39:41Not really, lad.

39:42I have the main rig structure already built in the barn, ready to wheel out.

39:46The droopid pop-riveted to a length of iron drainpipe,

39:49and the whole lot driven by an old donkey trudging round after a carrot on a string.

39:53Ah, the carrot's just a backup.

39:54Albert's more interested in the pheromone soaked in the string.

39:57That's Sunday school picture.

39:59It's straight out of the Bible.

40:00Aye, ancient technology after new money.

40:03Barrels of it.

40:11This is the house.

40:13Good luck.

40:14He sounds a tough nut.

40:15Don't droop, Simon.

40:17In ten minutes you'll have him by the Brazils.

40:20Well, go on.

40:22Colonel Wince.

40:36Tea.

40:38Thanks, pet.

40:40Oh.

40:41Free range is fine, but I wish they wouldn't range quite so freely.

40:44You should have asked me, Mother.

40:45I still remember they're all nesting places.

40:47Mother, do you remember last week when I said, well...

40:52I remember.

40:54Well, I have arranged something.

40:58Or at least it's all set up so I can arrange something.

41:02Afternoon tea with Mrs. Wentworth, the vicar and Colonel Wince, up here, Meyer Farm.

41:09Aren't you a loaf?

41:14Simon, your dad and I are our own complete world, and we're happy.

41:20Very happy.

41:21If the outside world wants to join in, that would be lovely too.

41:24I'd like it, you know that.

41:26But if John...

41:30Have a talk with him tonight, after dinner.

41:36So when the retaining banks are finished, I'll run water straight from the dam into the bottom meadow.

41:41Flat as a pancake.

41:43A paddy field in the middle of the Yorkshire Dales.

41:46Imagine that.

41:47I am.

41:48Everyone's griping about land drainage.

41:51We'll stand it on its head.

41:52Grow rice.

41:53Get the potato croppers up for an early bonus.

41:55They'll jump at the chance.

41:57And your mum loves rice pudding.

42:00Here, chuck that elderberry muck.

42:02Try this raisin.

42:05A masterpiece of the demi-john.

42:08Thanks.

42:09About Mother.

42:11Yes?

42:12She seems...

42:14Well, she loves people.

42:15Human contacts.

42:17Aye.

42:18Well, that's why Meyer Marriages were such a brainwave.

42:21It keeps her in touch with so many.

42:23Is it right, though?

42:24Someone like that.

42:25Just having contact through...

42:27Through a fax or a teleprinter.

42:29Well, she's a dab hand with those machines.

42:31But machines.

42:32Shouldn't someone like Mother have proper contact?

42:34Personal contact?

42:36Well, how do you mean, lad?

42:38I mean the village, Father.

42:41Aye.

42:42I thought you did.

42:43And I think you do, too.

42:46May and you and Beatrice are all I need.

42:51But I reckon you have a point.

42:53Do you really think she...

42:55Yes.

42:56And doesn't she deserve it?

42:58I'd give...

42:59You have someone in mind.

43:04Tell me.

43:08But that's marvellous, you clever boy!

43:11Marvellous?

43:12I don't know, Vanessa.

43:14Those people down there.

43:16I don't know.

43:17Simon, I'm down here, too.

43:20Yes.

43:21I know.

43:22But I'm beginning to see what Father...

43:24I don't know.

43:27Case study, Simon.

43:29That's all that's important.

43:30And you'll have a beauty.

43:31Your intro to the Foreign Office will be in the bag.

43:34Daniel...

43:34Yes.

43:35I know.

43:35So, when's the great tea party?

43:39Thursday.

43:41Thursday afternoon.

43:46Case notes for Thursday morning, September the 7th.

43:50The day of reckoning, truth, judgment to end all days.

43:54A typical morning at Meyer Farm.

43:57Meyer marriage's software is purring away, trying to find a perfect mate for a bootle lesbian.

44:02Strong incantations and the smell of sulphur are coming from Grandad's room.

44:06Beatrice has scrawled a huge and enigmatic number one on the blackboard.

44:13And I wish I was on the dark side of the moon.

44:25First time I've felt real fear in, well, a long time.

44:30I must admit, without my faith, I'd have none.

44:33Well, we can't wait at their gate all day.

44:35They'll think we're peculiar.

44:37Drive on, Vicar.

44:46Oh, very mild, Vicar.

44:48Very mild.

44:50But then, someone can get like that.

44:52Right.

44:53Yes.

44:54But still, always a surprise.

44:58God's bounty.

45:00Yes, if you like.

45:03Those curtains are charming, Mrs. Shaw.

45:06Oh.

45:06Laura Ashley?

45:07No, they're ours.

45:09Quite paid for.

45:10Oh!

45:13Basic Oxfam shop, Mrs. Wentworth.

45:16With a bit of turning up.

45:17Oh, I do like to see the charities being supported.

45:21Splendid, Evans.

45:24Killed much with that?

45:26Eh?

45:27The shotgun fire.

45:29Nicely worked.

45:30Double barrel.

45:31Bet that brings down the meat.

45:33Mind if I...

45:34It's slaughtering days are over, Colonel.

45:37Bolt it to the wall.

45:38So now, we've got hundreds of free-range rabbits to keep the hens company.

45:43Ah.

45:43Hmm.

45:44Delightful.

45:45And even though I've been here for four...

45:49No, five years, there are still those who say, well, you're new, of course.

45:55I suspect they'll still be saying that after four or five generations.

46:00Not that you're married, of course, Vicar.

46:02No, Simon.

46:04But I take Mrs. Shaw's general point.

46:06I think communities everywhere must be the same.

46:10Tight-knit, protective of their own people, their own identity.

46:13True enough, Mrs. Wentworth.

46:15Which is why it is so rewarding, I'm sure, for all three of us to be invited here to

46:21the bosom of one of Butterdale's oldest families.

46:25So rewarding.

46:26Rewarding, yes.

46:27Absolutely.

46:29Well, we're chuffed, too, aren't we, mate?

46:31Yes, look, we are.

46:34More tea, Vicar.

46:37Their waiting list for membership is several years, but I'd be happy to pull strings,

46:42John.

46:42I've got a spare set of clubs I can lend you, too.

46:45Very kind of you, isn't it, Simon?

46:48Oh, very kind, Colonel.

46:50Hotly contested, the church flower arranging, isn't it, Vicar?

46:54Which is why I keep well clear of it.

46:56Oh, well, now, I wouldn't want to put anyone...

46:58Now, don't you bother about that, May.

46:59New blood is always welcome in the church.

47:03Some of our hardy animals are positively wilting.

47:06I'm sure your blooms will be a sight for sore eyes.

47:09Do let me have Grandfather's particulars as soon as possible.

47:12It'd be a shame if he were to miss any of the old folks' festive club's autumn entertainments.

47:16Aye, wouldn't it?

47:17And your daughter, John.

47:19Beatrice, isn't it?

47:21She's not able to be with us today.

47:22Beatrice is...

47:23Beatrice is heavily inter-God, Vicar, today, any road.

47:27Ah, then we should leave her to our own communion.

47:30Though I feel sure that even the occasional Sunday in church...

47:32No, no, no, no.

47:33When I say inter-God, I mean that today she actually is...

47:37Father!

47:37The hour has come, things fall apart, the centre cannot hold...

47:43It's only the gas man.

47:45Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

47:48The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned.

47:54Oh, my God!

47:56He's holding the inverted crucifix.

47:57He's just gas piping.

47:59Twenty centuries of stony sleep, and now he devours his way to Bethlehem to be born.

48:05The Antichrist!

48:08Now look here!

48:09For the burning glory of my omnipotence shall make us nought the foul shadows in which you were sired.

48:16Catch your death, Beatrice.

48:21Eureka! Eureka! Eureka!

48:25Your light is as nothing.

48:27In the beginning was darkness, and to that true cold state the world will now return.

48:32Hello, Father, who is with heart in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

48:36Eureka! Do something!

48:38The light of truth which I created will scorch into eternal oblivion the black scratch of your sad fall.

48:44This is intolerable!

48:46And another stop, Mrs. Wentworth, thinker.

48:48Ah! A fall of your dim contrivance, which led the true one to the place of power, to the root of all things.

48:56And from that dark, that black place will spring.

49:00Black gold!

49:02May, we've done it!

49:03Who the devil's this?

49:04Me, Colonel, me, Yorkshire's first bloody oil baron.

49:08Oh, call me a girl.

49:10Dance with me.

49:11Da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee.

49:14Wait, wait, wait.

49:15Come on!

49:15It's to Mrs. Gorgeous Wentworth dance with me.

49:19Oh!

49:19Da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee.

49:23Oh, I can't breathe!

49:24And you become no!

49:26Da-dee-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-dee-da-dee-da-dee-dee-dee.

49:27There's a stick!

49:28Gee, black gold, Colonel.

49:31Let me go!

49:32Let me out!

49:33Thanks.

49:38His old septic tank knew it was somewhere?

49:42What's that imbecile saying?

49:43Oh, he knows his land as old Grandad.

49:45No denying that.

49:46Man of his acuity.

49:47Bound to.

49:48Says it's the old septic tank, the drill stroke.

49:50Do you mean we're covered in...

49:52Bless you, my children.

49:59Please.

49:59It'll be all right.

50:01Come back.

50:01You've left your cold, Mrs. Wentworth.

50:03Is this your crucifix, Vicar?

50:07They didn't seem very impressed or blessed.

50:11No, not blessed or impressed.

50:14No, they're strange.

50:15Isn't it?

50:22I love sitting on grass.

50:24I don't know why Fort makes such a fuss of being buried.

50:27Just the other side, isn't it?

50:29Spend a third of their lives pulling the duvet over them.

50:33Then when they can, get a really good lie in.

50:36It's the dark, I suppose.

50:40Couldn't be cremated, though.

50:42Don't know how anyone could.

50:45One chance to get some good fertiliser down without signing a fat check at the garden centre.

50:52Fancy a mint?

50:53No, thanks.

50:54You won't change your mind, will you?

50:59Not hungry.

51:00You stick at it.

51:03I'd have given anything, anything to go to university.

51:08Here I am, batting about left, right and centre.

51:11Feet can't keep up with me brain.

51:13Keeps veering off.

51:14No direction.

51:16Now you're learning that direction.

51:18Direction.

51:19You've certainly got the brain.

51:22Don't change your mind.

51:24It's...

51:24It's not me changing my mind.

51:27It's others.

51:30I used to feel more and more secure.

51:32College, university, away from...

51:36Me?

51:38The farm.

51:40There was a definite pattern.

51:42I felt safe.

51:43I thought I was getting somewhere.

51:45Oh, God's almighty you are, lad.

51:47You're learning.

51:49You're at university, the best bloody shortcut to know in it all.

51:53Comedians like me can read till their eyes burst.

51:56But there's not guidance.

51:59You're being taught by professors who've ridden those boots.

52:01Yes, yes, I'm learning.

52:03And there are some good ones, Thompson, Van Thwaite.

52:06But since I've been up here again, I've been able to see...

52:09Oh.

52:10What, lad?

52:11I don't...

52:13The system.

52:15So much of that guidance is just to one end.

52:18To get me into the system.

52:19Channeled.

52:20Trammeled.

52:21You think you're seeing further and further, but there's no breadth.

52:24They've slipped mirrored blinkers on you.

52:26It's like...

52:28Look.

52:29Look down there.

52:30See the new housing estate?

52:32Aye.

52:33It's like that.

52:34All the people who move into those houses will feel they're getting a new freedom.

52:38A new space.

52:39But it's already a rigid pattern.

52:42Architects and planners have slipped in ahead.

52:44Set the parameters in bricks and concrete.

52:47There's no freedom.

52:48It's an illusion.

52:49Ah, you're missing the point.

52:52They can go in and make their own worlds inside, as free as they like.

52:55If they've got the gumption.

52:56But you don't make your world inside anything.

52:58You're free.

52:59No bricks.

53:00No concrete.

53:01Say, there's been a planner up here already.

53:03Long time ago.

53:06The earth.

53:06The sky.

53:10Hey.

53:11Look.

53:12There's that bird again.

53:14What?

53:15Same one?

53:15Oh, yes.

53:16Always.

53:20Heh, heh.

53:21Heh.

53:21That were a grand do this afternoon.

53:24Never seen an apoplectic vicar before.

53:26Oh, don't feel bad about it, lad.

53:29You did your best.

53:31Came close, too.

53:32Very close.

53:33Close shave, you mean?

53:34What day?

53:35Father.

53:37Oh, God.

53:38Praying or what?

53:39You should know.

53:41I...

53:41I didn't do it just because I thought it would be the best thing for Maya Farm and the village

53:45to be reconciled.

53:47Oh, aye.

53:48No.

53:48There's much more.

53:50And I'm not proud of it.

53:52You had a goal to go for and you went for it.

53:54It was not wrong with that.

53:55I said there's more.

53:56So, there's more?

53:58More than your last?

54:00Vanessa, planted in the village.

54:02Her dad being high up in the foreign office and your ambitions to get there, too?

54:06Oh, dear.

54:07Heh.

54:08You'd better tell me.

54:10How the hell?

54:11Well, your mum and I were dead worried about all those secret phone calls you made.

54:16We really thought you were in serious trouble.

54:19Mum got her electronics network working on it.

54:21Got the basics and...

54:22We put two and one and three quarters together and...

54:25You never said anything.

54:26I decided not to mention out.

54:28Diplomatic-like.

54:30We reckon you did a damn good job of it, too.

54:33I nearly came off.

54:34I'm...

54:34I'm proud of you.

54:35Proud of me?

54:37I came up with my half-baked Machiavellian plans.

54:39You came home and you did your best.

54:43You're incredible, Dad.

54:47You're incredible.

54:50Oh, what the hell.

54:52Damn you, Butterdale!

54:54Why shouldn't we saw like that bird?

54:57Together.

54:58Daedalus and Icarus.

55:00We'll flirt with the sun and we shan't be burned!

55:04You're on.

55:05Hey, but get that degree first.

55:07One of us has got to be able to read the bloody map.

55:13Terrible, Simon.

55:15Is there no hope?

55:17Well...

55:17Dad thinks he can use the methane in the septic tank to generate power for the national grid.

55:21I mean a reconciliation.

55:23This is terrible.

55:24This is glorious.

55:26Vanessa, I'm no more a diplomat than Colonel Wintz is a colonel.

55:30The case study is closed.

55:32Finito.

55:33This puts you in a very difficult position, Simon.

55:37No, not really.

55:44Be seeing you.

55:51Plenty of time for your train.

55:53Enjoy your stay, then.

55:55Marvellous.

55:59Still recording stuff on that, then?

56:02Want to pick me up and all, then?

56:04Nope.

56:05It's erasing.

56:08They're very generous with how long they let you stay out for, then.

56:11Who?

56:12The madhouse.

56:14Get off back there now, then.

56:17Aye.

56:18Aye.

56:18The free-ranging inhabitants of Meyer Farm were Simon Shaw, Paul Downing, John Shaw, Stephen Thorne, May Shaw, June Barry, Beatrice Shaw, Jane Whittonshaw, Grandad Shaw,

56:48Howard Gourney, and Eric Flo, Nigel Betts.

56:53Betwixt and between were Vanessa, Julia Hills, and the taxi driver and landlord, John Christopher Wood.

57:01The benighted folk of Butterdale were Mrs. Wentworth, Oriel Smith, the vicar, Christopher Good, and Colonel Wintz, James Green.

57:12Meyer Farm was written by Bruce Bedford and directed in Bristol by Andy Jordan.

57:17See you at your health news for the podcast.

57:18Miller do you like?

57:20Lee Judge...

57:20Ann Podcasts of Water...

57:27Have you everero seans?

57:28Anyone who will meet me when you start fishing?

57:30This is companionship.

57:31dizer, that you will be 4th conditions of the weather.

57:32We'll be the same.

57:33And the family in Montague.

57:33And the family in death could weit.

57:34On the future!

57:35Diyorsun Whit蹴是克 unless we wanted to seine mission to plan with them to this world.

Category

Transcript

Recommended