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Parental Guidance Season 3 Episode 2
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00:00:00Okay, let's go!
00:00:03Parenthood is messy, chaotic and beautiful.
00:00:08We love you.
00:00:09We love you too.
00:00:10But modern parenting has never been more complicated.
00:00:14In this special event series of parental guidance,
00:00:17we're tackling the biggest issues facing parents today.
00:00:21The modern world definitely is rushing children through childhood.
00:00:24Last time, we took on screen time.
00:00:27The most popular online gaming platform for young children
00:00:31is a pedophile hellscape.
00:00:34And our traditional parents were voted the best.
00:00:37Yay!
00:00:39Tonight, peer pressure.
00:00:42Come on, I bet you've done something naughty in your life.
00:00:44A long-standing struggle for young people
00:00:46that is now pushing kids to the edge.
00:00:48I don't care about your opinion.
00:00:49Maybe we let him play instead of you.
00:00:51Four sets of parents take on the challenges
00:00:53and the panel decides who does it best.
00:00:57Essentially, two wrongs don't make a right.
00:00:59You're not perfect either.
00:01:00We can focus on some of your flaws as well.
00:01:02Here we go.
00:01:03Can today's kids make friends?
00:01:05There's almost a bit of flirting going on.
00:01:07Nathan and Joanne, you're in trouble.
00:01:10Do they practice consent?
00:01:12If you've kissed someone before,
00:01:14does that mean you've agreed to kiss them
00:01:16every time one of you feels like it?
00:01:18Do you let somebody take a naked photo of you?
00:01:22No, no.
00:01:22And can they resist toxic influences?
00:01:25I don't know what it's like
00:01:27to be a teenage girl navigating this culture.
00:01:36But are we ready for it?
00:01:37Oh, if you keep my love safe,
00:01:40I'll be here to stay.
00:01:42I think we can make it.
00:01:44Parents, come on in.
00:01:45Nice to see you.
00:01:46Elvie and Sean.
00:01:47Nice to see you both.
00:01:49Amanda and Hassan, it's so good to have you here.
00:01:51Mark and Tammy, nice to see you guys.
00:01:54Yeah.
00:01:55Hi, Courtney.
00:01:56Hi, John.
00:01:57Amy and Mark.
00:01:58Hello.
00:01:59Welcome to the ultimate parenting experiment.
00:02:02Tonight, we are getting into a really tricky topic
00:02:06because it's the hardest one for us to directly control.
00:02:10It's peer pressure.
00:02:13As children grow,
00:02:14so does the pressure to fit in
00:02:17and follow the crowd.
00:02:19This can lead to young people making unsafe,
00:02:22unhealthy or even illegal choices.
00:02:25Even though you won't be there when this pressure is happening,
00:02:28parents play a crucial role in helping kids develop the strength
00:02:32to stand their ground,
00:02:33to make good decisions
00:02:34and to resist negative influences.
00:02:37Tonight, this side of the room is back in the hot seat.
00:02:41We'll see how our focus families handle different elements of peer pressure.
00:02:47Ability to make friends.
00:02:49Ability to navigate consent.
00:02:51Ability to say no when the pressure's on.
00:02:55Panel parents,
00:02:56your job is to watch closely,
00:02:59analyse the strengths and weaknesses of each parenting style
00:03:04as it relates to peer pressure,
00:03:07whose parenting style gives their children the confidence and social skills
00:03:13to form healthy relationships
00:03:15and the resilience and strength to stand strong against negative peer pressure.
00:03:22And take notes.
00:03:25Remember, you'll be voting later.
00:03:29So, focus families, refresh us on your parenting style.
00:03:33Courtney and John, tell us about you.
00:03:36We're the ProTech parents.
00:03:38We embrace technology in our everyday lives
00:03:40so that our kids acquire the skills that they need for their future.
00:03:46I socialise with my kids through technology
00:03:49because we will play games together,
00:03:51we will live stream together,
00:03:52we'll make content together.
00:03:53Good morning!
00:03:55It's Wednesday morning.
00:03:56Time to get ready.
00:03:58It is a family business.
00:03:59Like, back in the day,
00:04:00you would open a cafe.
00:04:02You know, the whole family would chip in.
00:04:03I think they'd much rather give me 15 minutes of their time,
00:04:06do a TikTok, get paid,
00:04:08go back into their room.
00:04:09How are you, Klein?
00:04:11I'm really good, thank you.
00:04:12How about yourself?
00:04:13Gaming allows the children to socialise with their friends online
00:04:17and meet people online.
00:04:19Thank you for the gifts.
00:04:20It's very easy to succumb to peer pressure.
00:04:23So, I think we've had a lot of conversations with them
00:04:26about standing up for what you believe in
00:04:28and making sure your voice is heard.
00:04:31Panel parents, what are our thoughts on our ProTech parents?
00:04:34Yeah, I really liked watching that,
00:04:36obviously because of the social media work
00:04:38that our family does.
00:04:40Like Courtney,
00:04:41we have experienced things that people only dream of
00:04:44and that's all thanks to what we do on social media.
00:04:48Yeah.
00:04:49Okay.
00:04:50Amy and Mark,
00:04:52we're the active parents.
00:04:53We choose fun and outdoor activities.
00:04:56And we prioritise family time.
00:04:57Ow!
00:04:59Oh, ow, ow!
00:05:02As active parents,
00:05:03they're more for a risky play.
00:05:07Also, the backyard we've built was a risky backyard.
00:05:12As active parents with peer pressure,
00:05:14we're constantly talking to the kids about it.
00:05:17No means no.
00:05:18If they don't want to do something,
00:05:19they don't have to do something.
00:05:20If you don't want to do it,
00:05:21just say no and walk away.
00:05:22Can I ask you,
00:05:25where the kids are playing?
00:05:27Where is that?
00:05:27That's our backyard.
00:05:28Yeah.
00:05:29I don't want to live at your house.
00:05:32Yes.
00:05:32Yeah, we're very lucky.
00:05:34Okay.
00:05:35Mark and Tammy,
00:05:36we're the upfront parents.
00:05:38And we still have old school values.
00:05:40With open communication where knowledge is power.
00:05:43Do it silly man.
00:05:44Do it silly man.
00:05:46Do it silly man.
00:05:46Do it silly man.
00:05:47Do it silly man.
00:05:47Do it silly man.
00:05:47Do it silly man.
00:05:48Do it silly man.
00:05:48Do it silly man.
00:05:48Do it silly man.
00:05:49We're all about proactive parenting.
00:05:51Having open and honest conversations.
00:05:53Dinner's ready.
00:05:54We've spoken to our children about drugs.
00:05:57Realistically,
00:05:57we've got four boys.
00:05:59It's not if,
00:05:59it's when.
00:06:00Did you help anybody today?
00:06:02Our front parenting is having these big conversations with our kids.
00:06:05We have had the conversation about dick pics.
00:06:08Nothing is off limits.
00:06:10Go baby.
00:06:11Yeah.
00:06:13If our kids felt pressured by others,
00:06:14I would like to think that they can remember
00:06:17what we've been saying for 13 years.
00:06:19Yeah, yeah.
00:06:19Get him ready.
00:06:21Yeah.
00:06:21We rely on them knowing right from wrong.
00:06:23We've taught our kids to say no if they don't agree with something.
00:06:26Our kids will definitely,
00:06:28definitely say no.
00:06:28Much to our detriment sometimes.
00:06:30Oh, yeah.
00:06:30Sometimes it's...
00:06:30One comment you made that drugs is just a matter of time.
00:06:38I don't agree with that comment.
00:06:41We've got four boys.
00:06:42We need to be realistic about this.
00:06:44Peer pressure comes into this as well.
00:06:47When we've got a grade five child coming home telling us how to take cocaine.
00:06:52So they've already heard about these topics?
00:06:54They're already well and truly aware of these topics.
00:06:57Wow.
00:06:59Okay.
00:07:00Nathan and Joanne, tell us your preferred parenting style.
00:07:03We're the traditional parents.
00:07:05We have traditional mum and dad roles.
00:07:07We lead by example,
00:07:09being kind and disciplined with ourselves.
00:07:11One, two, three.
00:07:12We are traditional parents.
00:07:16We've chosen to parent our children with strong Christian values.
00:07:18One, two, three, four.
00:07:20We allow them to walk their path and we just sort of...
00:07:23We're going along protecting them and keeping them safe on it.
00:07:29As traditional parents, I think our children can handle peer pressure very well
00:07:33and they have a very clear standard of what's right and wrong.
00:07:36That's based on our faith.
00:07:38If they're pressured to do something that crosses that line,
00:07:42then it's a hard no for them.
00:07:46We decided firearms is a good hobby because we like to do things together.
00:07:49We see it as a way to hone some fine motor skills.
00:07:53We believe it promotes a healthy discipline.
00:07:57They also get a sense of competition and achievement out of it when they do well.
00:08:02You guys teach your kids how to handle dangerous things safely.
00:08:08Yeah.
00:08:08If anything, that's the best thing you're doing there.
00:08:12I don't feel comfortable about kids being around guns,
00:08:15especially if they're on social media,
00:08:17what are bullying happening,
00:08:19if the kid knows there's a weapon inside the house.
00:08:20And I would argue social media accounts
00:08:23are more likely to kill your kids than the gun in Australia.
00:08:27It's far more dangerous.
00:08:28More children die from online bullying than they do from guns.
00:08:32Wow, man.
00:08:34People should not have guns and you do not need guns.
00:08:37It's a sport.
00:08:38How's it any more dangerous to surfing?
00:08:42To hear an Australian family had guns, I think, was the biggest shock for me
00:08:44and especially from a Christian family.
00:08:47I didn't expect it.
00:08:48OK, four very different parenting styles.
00:08:52Who will show us the best way of equipping kids to deal with peer pressure?
00:08:57This side of the room, remember tonight, you'll be our panel parents.
00:09:01So watch carefully and take notes.
00:09:04Later, you'll be voting on the parenting style you think is most effective
00:09:09when it comes to the issue of peer pressure.
00:09:14So let's get into the first challenge.
00:09:17Not all peer pressure is bad.
00:09:20Peer pressure makes us get out of bed to meet our friends at the gym,
00:09:25push our kids out of their comfort zones on school camp.
00:09:29Healthy friendships help kids to enjoy the good times
00:09:33and stay strong in the bad times.
00:09:36But we are facing a loneliness epidemic.
00:09:39In an increasingly online world,
00:09:42the loneliness among young people is now at an all-time high.
00:09:47Kids have to learn how to make friends.
00:09:49If they don't learn how to make friends,
00:09:52by the time they reach their late teens,
00:09:54they could end up lonely for life.
00:09:56In this challenge,
00:09:59our focus kids put their social skills to the test
00:10:02by going speed dating
00:10:04for a new friend.
00:10:08In this challenge,
00:10:10we're testing whether parents have taught their children
00:10:12how to make friends.
00:10:15Do they know how to strike up a conversation with someone new?
00:10:19Healthy friendships help kids to feel more confident
00:10:22about facing negative peer pressure.
00:10:26How comfortable are your kids with making new friends?
00:10:35Let's find out.
00:10:37Rose is heading out for a milkshake.
00:10:38A milkshake.
00:10:39A milkshake.
00:10:40A milkshake.
00:10:41How comfortable are you with making new friends?
00:10:44Um, I'm not that comfortable.
00:10:47Yeah, I know.
00:10:48At least I have milkshake.
00:10:50Yeah, exactly.
00:10:52In this challenge,
00:10:53each child will have five minutes to make a new friend
00:10:56before the bell rings
00:10:57and a new interaction begins.
00:11:00We want to see if the kids are comfortable
00:11:02using social conventions
00:11:03and are confident in new social situations
00:11:07because these skills
00:11:09are their first lines of defence
00:11:11against negative peer pressure.
00:11:15My name's Zach.
00:11:16My name's Marshall.
00:11:18Marshall's our most confident kid.
00:11:19Do you have any hobbies or anything?
00:11:21Yeah, I like boxing.
00:11:23I've had seven fights.
00:11:24Oh yeah?
00:11:25Have you won any?
00:11:26Yeah, I think I've won four fights and lost three.
00:11:29That's pretty good.
00:11:30Yeah.
00:11:31Time for top seat.
00:11:32I think the active parenting style
00:11:34will help him out with making new friends.
00:11:36Building his confidence up.
00:11:37Building confidence.
00:11:38Hello.
00:11:40My name's Marshall.
00:11:41Maddie.
00:11:42Do you like music?
00:11:44Yeah, I love music.
00:11:46Probably couldn't live without it.
00:11:47Yeah, same.
00:11:48Yeah.
00:11:49I'm a scaredy cat.
00:11:52If I watch a horror movie,
00:11:54I'll have nightmares for the next week.
00:11:55Yeah, I don't like horror movies.
00:11:57Yeah.
00:11:57We were in the woods camping once
00:11:59and I was like,
00:12:00went down to this,
00:12:01through the woods
00:12:02and there was this old shack
00:12:04where people used to live in.
00:12:05When I go camping,
00:12:06for some reason,
00:12:07my dad likes a park
00:12:08really far away from the bathroom
00:12:10so when we go to have a shower or something,
00:12:12we have to walk all the way there.
00:12:14Bang.
00:12:14And I'm like,
00:12:15I don't want to do this.
00:12:21Hello, Jamie.
00:12:22Yeah, Rose.
00:12:24It's nice to meet you.
00:12:25Nice to meet you.
00:12:26You look lovely.
00:12:28I think Rose is going to be a little bit nervous.
00:12:31Are you enjoying the summer?
00:12:32Yeah.
00:12:33I feel a little bit nervous for her.
00:12:36She's only 12,
00:12:36so she's quite capable.
00:12:37I'm used to being with her.
00:12:41What's your favourite joke?
00:12:42Joke?
00:12:43Yeah.
00:12:44Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
00:12:46Why?
00:12:47Because pencils confused him.
00:12:48To be or not to be?
00:12:50That is the question.
00:12:54As traditional parents,
00:12:55we do monitor their social circles very closely.
00:13:01Hello.
00:13:02Hi.
00:13:02Saxon.
00:13:03Yeah, that's me.
00:13:04Nice to meet you.
00:13:05I'm Rose.
00:13:05Oh, yeah.
00:13:06Nice to meet you too.
00:13:07Have you started back to school?
00:13:09Yeah.
00:13:09What grade are you in?
00:13:10I'm in grade 8.
00:13:11I'm in grade 8 too?
00:13:12Oh, really?
00:13:12Yeah.
00:13:13You look much taller than me.
00:13:15Yeah.
00:13:16Um...
00:13:17Uh...
00:13:20Yeah.
00:13:20So you had, like, a great holidays?
00:13:23Yeah.
00:13:23It was good.
00:13:24Life?
00:13:25Yeah.
00:13:26Too cute.
00:13:28Me?
00:13:28Um, yeah.
00:13:36So...
00:13:37If I had to pick a friend out of everyone I met today,
00:13:44I would probably pick...
00:13:46Saxon.
00:13:50Because, I don't know.
00:13:51I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:13:54Woo!
00:13:55Nathan and Joanne, you're in trouble.
00:13:58What did you think of that?
00:14:02It was very cute.
00:14:03There was almost a bit of flirting going on.
00:14:05Amy and Mark, um, we thought that Marshall introduced himself very well and he shared his interests
00:14:11a lot.
00:14:12Yeah.
00:14:14And one thing is generous in giving compliments.
00:14:18The traditional parents, you guys may feel nervous at the beginning.
00:14:23She done excellent.
00:14:24Why were you nervous?
00:14:26You weren't.
00:14:27I just...
00:14:28I don't know, to be honest.
00:14:30Nervous now to find that Saxon kid in.
00:14:34Nathan, you're a dad of two girls.
00:14:36I'm a dad of six girls.
00:14:38When you see your daughter starting to show interest in a boy, it does something to you.
00:14:46Mm.
00:14:46And it's really tricky for dads to navigate their little girl growing up.
00:14:53It's the first time I've kind of seen that, you know, ever.
00:14:56And it's played back at you.
00:14:58And so it's kind of a little bit of a, well, I know what he's doing and I know what's happening there.
00:15:02Yeah, but, I mean, we've got a long way to go before she's dating.
00:15:07It is happening and you're just not told about it.
00:15:09I was interested in boys.
00:15:10I remember the grade six.
00:15:13I think Joanne might be a bit naive to think that at 13 years of age, Rosie's not thinking about boys.
00:15:21I think there's a risk of the traditional parents wrapping their kids in cotton wool and not letting them experience the real world.
00:15:26I think their views are really outdated.
00:15:31Next, we welcome an expert.
00:15:33Something's clearly gone wrong in how they understand consent.
00:15:36To confront the year's most challenging topic, consent.
00:15:40If you've kissed someone before, does that mean you've agreed to kiss them every time one of you feels like it?
00:15:46It's not consensual at all.
00:15:49No one was consenting to it.
00:15:50Then, which parenting style will come out on top?
00:15:54And can now share whose parenting style works the best when it comes to peer pressure.
00:15:59Tonight, we'll see how our focus families handle different elements of peer pressure.
00:16:11With our first challenge underway, speed dating for a friend.
00:16:16Having friends is a vital part of a happy and well-rounded life, especially for kids.
00:16:24And parents can support healthy relationships by equipping their kids with good values and an awareness of how to resist negative peer pressure.
00:16:34Should we see how our other parents went?
00:16:36Yes.
00:16:37As parents, our job is to help our children become socially adept.
00:16:44Knowing how to introduce themselves, how to meet someone's eyes, shake their hand.
00:16:49They need to learn to focus on being interested rather than interesting.
00:16:56Healthy friendships are one of the best ways to combat negative peer pressure.
00:17:01In this challenge, we are seeing how our focus kids go making new friends.
00:17:07Nice to meet you.
00:17:10Hey, nice to meet you.
00:17:10My name's Samuel.
00:17:11What's yours?
00:17:12My name's Archer.
00:17:13As upfront parents, Archer going out to meet new people, I don't have any concerns about that.
00:17:18I know by us being able to have conversations with our kids, it's probably given them the confidence to then go and maybe approach people and speak to them as well.
00:17:27Do you have any hobbies?
00:17:28Um, yeah, I like to play football, basketball, I like to play video games.
00:17:39Nice.
00:17:40I like to play video games as well.
00:17:42Yeah.
00:17:43I feel like every teenager does nowadays.
00:17:47I'm not going to get addicted to gaming and stuff like other people.
00:17:52Hi, what's your name?
00:17:56Archer, what's your name?
00:17:57Natasha.
00:18:02Do you play any sports?
00:18:04Yeah, I play basketball.
00:18:06Same.
00:18:07I used to do swimming.
00:18:10So.
00:18:11What's your favourite food?
00:18:19Um, a bite of chicken.
00:18:25Hi.
00:18:26Hi.
00:18:27What's your name?
00:18:29My name's Landon.
00:18:30I'm Hugo.
00:18:32It's good, thanks.
00:18:33Nice to meet you.
00:18:34As pro-tech parents, people often assume that because our kids are on technology that they will turn into screen zombies.
00:18:42Milk tricks are good.
00:18:45We can see that they can be at home but still socialise.
00:18:50I think online friends are better because you don't have to see them all the time.
00:18:55That's the real answer.
00:18:56Oh, God.
00:18:59Um.
00:19:04Do you play any games?
00:19:07Yeah, I play Fortnite.
00:19:09I play Fortnite as well.
00:19:10Nice.
00:19:11So what level are you?
00:19:12I'm, I don't really know what level I am but I'm over 200.
00:19:16Over 200.
00:19:17I'm only 100.
00:19:18Yeah.
00:19:23Nice to meet you.
00:19:26What is your favourite thing to do with friends?
00:19:30Probably play Fortnite.
00:19:34I'd probably go shopping.
00:19:36Yeah, that's pretty good.
00:19:38Yeah.
00:19:47Okay, let's talk about our upfront parents, Mark and Tammy.
00:19:51With Archer, seemed a little bit nervous, you know, shaking the leg, fidgeting a little bit.
00:19:54It actually surprised me seeing his reaction there because out of the four boys, whenever we go out, he's the first one to make friends.
00:20:01But that's in his comfort zone?
00:20:04Yeah, I think I'd be nervous speed dating too.
00:20:07Oh, yeah.
00:20:08For Courtney and John with Landon, I noticed the first thing, obviously he said that he wasn't comfortable.
00:20:13But I loved that he shook hands and he introduced himself.
00:20:16That was fantastic.
00:20:17I think when there was an interest that was shared, his face lit up and then he started to communicate a bit better.
00:20:24But watching Landon kind of reminded me of myself when I was young.
00:20:28I was hooked to the screens and video games and I was very anti-social.
00:20:32I couldn't hold conversations.
00:20:34You can see he wasn't comfortable being in that.
00:20:36Like he's normally used to probably chatting to the people online, which to me, to us, is actually a concern.
00:20:41And I think that's where the concerns of us who don't do much screen time, we feel that that negatively affects the ability to form relationships and things like that.
00:20:50Exactly.
00:20:50You even mentioned, which I think is a bit of a dangerous narrative, is online friends are better.
00:20:59It was a joke.
00:21:00Yeah, I understand that.
00:21:01It was a joke.
00:21:01I have my own reasons, but yes.
00:21:03There's a lot of things we joke about that then carry on to our kids.
00:21:08Saying that you don't need friends in real life, you've got them online, is just a crazy concept to me.
00:21:14I really did take on board what they said about Landon and his social skills.
00:21:19I do feel sorry for him though, because I would be stressed too.
00:21:22That is a very stressful circumstance and it doesn't come down to using technology.
00:21:27Let's be honest, that's a really hard thing for a lot of adults to do.
00:21:31What our job as parents is, is to help our children to become socially adept.
00:21:39It's about providing opportunities for face-to-face interaction with new people.
00:21:43That's the essential skill for their overall emotional and social growth.
00:21:49Let's get into the next challenge.
00:21:52As parents, we teach our kids about road safety, stranger danger.
00:21:56But when it comes to consent, many parents put it in the too hard basket.
00:22:02While 90% of parents agree that it's their job to teach consent, less than half actually have that conversation with their kids.
00:22:10That means that kids are more likely to learn about consent from their peers, which could lead to inaccurate or even harmful ideas of what consent is and how it should be given.
00:22:20So in this challenge, we asked the focus parents to simply talk about consent with their kids.
00:22:27And we did say, keep it as age appropriate as you felt comfortable.
00:22:31To help them out, we provided scenarios from the federal government's Consent Can't Wait campaign.
00:22:39These are specifically designed to help with these conversations.
00:22:42For this one, we've brought in an extra expert to help review how you went.
00:22:48Joining us in the Parent Lounge is Consent Educator, Daniel Principe.
00:22:57Thanks for being with us.
00:22:58Thanks for having me.
00:22:59Good to see you then.
00:23:01Grab a seat.
00:23:03Perhaps we could just start by explaining the work that you do and why consent is so important.
00:23:09I work with young people, young men, predominantly across Australia, helping them make sense of the messages that they get about consent, respect and sex.
00:23:19Dan, how big is the problem?
00:23:21When it comes to young people and something that keeps me up at night is that 15 to 19 year old girls are the biggest victims of sexual assault in our nation.
00:23:30And the flip side of that very unfortunate coin is that 15 to 19 year old boys are the biggest perpetrators of sexual violence in our nation.
00:23:38Now, I do this work because that's not who I believe young boys are.
00:23:45I don't believe they're wired that way.
00:23:47Something's clearly gone wrong in how they understand relationship, sex, power, consent.
00:23:52And it's our job to help prevent that and help them actually know what is a healthy relationship.
00:23:58Okay, peer pressure can impact a child's decision making, their ability to say no, especially when it feels like everyone else is doing it.
00:24:10Let's find out how our focus parents handled one of the most important conversations they'll ever have.
00:24:16This challenge will reveal if these parents know how to talk to their kids about consent in an open and factual way.
00:24:28There's a text.
00:24:30Parents, it's time to talk about consent with your children.
00:24:35Okay.
00:24:36All right.
00:24:37Kids.
00:24:38I'm talking about consent.
00:24:39You know what consent is, don't you?
00:24:39One of the biggest issues with peer pressure is its effect on how consent is given.
00:24:46Kids need to be aware of any peer pressure to say yes.
00:24:49And the best way to learn that is from their parents.
00:24:53In this challenge, our focus families must talk about consent with their kids.
00:24:58I'm scared.
00:24:59We'll be right.
00:25:00Okay, let's go.
00:25:01As ProTech parents, I believe that we are really good at talking to our kids.
00:25:05No topic is really off limits with this family.
00:25:09So we're going to have a chat to you.
00:25:10I definitely believe as parents that it is our job to have hard conversations with our children
00:25:15and we should never expect or leave that job up to anyone else.
00:25:19Our challenge is to talk to you guys about consent.
00:25:23You could get consent to touch dad.
00:25:27Did you ask him for consent just then?
00:25:28I didn't, but I married him.
00:25:29It's fine.
00:25:30Later on, you might have a girlfriend and you might want to kiss her and then you would have
00:25:36to ask for consent to do that.
00:25:39You would have to make sure she's comfortable, right?
00:25:42Yeah.
00:25:43With so many domestic violence cases, I feel like the responsibility as a parent of two
00:25:49boys is to raise the boys to be respectful towards not only women, but everybody.
00:25:57If you've kissed someone before, does that mean you've agreed to kiss them every time
00:26:01one of you feels like it?
00:26:03No.
00:26:04Why?
00:26:05It's just permission.
00:26:06Like, for example, can I have your consent to film you?
00:26:09Yeah.
00:26:10That's a way of asking.
00:26:11That's a big one in this house, isn't it?
00:26:13Yeah, that you do not apply.
00:26:19That is absolute rubbish.
00:26:21The other day when we went to the haunted house, like, we were all a bit scared.
00:26:24I said to you, do you want to be in this?
00:26:27You literally just said, no, no, focus on what I've asked.
00:26:30What about all those trending videos that we did here, like with the dances that we all
00:26:34did?
00:26:34I came and showed Kai and the vlog before I put the vlog up and I said, do I have permission
00:26:38to post this?
00:26:39Did I ask you that at breakfast, darling?
00:26:41Yes.
00:26:42Yes, I did.
00:26:43So, there you go.
00:26:44Do your kids like being on social media?
00:26:52I knew you'd do that.
00:26:56Um, yes, they do.
00:26:58They do.
00:26:59We check with them often.
00:27:00I check weekly, actually.
00:27:02Do you still like being on my TikTok?
00:27:03Do you want to do my TikTok?
00:27:05Yeah, but maybe they're just trying to say yes, because you're their mum.
00:27:08They don't want to let you down, but I don't, in that video, I didn't feel like he really
00:27:12wanted to.
00:27:14Look, you'd have to understand my son.
00:27:17He fully set me up.
00:27:19He knows how to press our buttons.
00:27:21He has no problem being on my channel.
00:27:24There's so many times where you feel like there's young people trying to set you up,
00:27:28right?
00:27:28In so many different ways.
00:27:29They come in, they want to one-up you.
00:27:31And when things like that come up, I think I like to err on asking them a follow-up question.
00:27:36Like, ask them what they felt in that scenario.
00:27:38How do I lean in curiously to keep that open communication going?
00:27:42And whether he was being silly and bantering, or whether he actually had a sense of I feel
00:27:47hard done by, I think it allows that to actually come to the surface and then resolve that.
00:27:52Yeah.
00:27:52Yeah.
00:27:53It's not consensual at all.
00:27:55No one was consenting to it.
00:27:57Put yourself on there as much as you want, but why including your kids?
00:28:00Kids are young.
00:28:01They're not going to say no to you.
00:28:02They're not going to disappoint you.
00:28:03They're not going to please you.
00:28:04Can you be in this video?
00:28:04Oh, okay.
00:28:05Yeah, but they don't want to.
00:28:06You're just forcing them to do it.
00:28:08Sorry, so you can get paid.
00:28:11Next.
00:28:12When you're kissing someone, it's important to check in.
00:28:16One parenting style gets a rude awakening.
00:28:20How old are your daughters?
00:28:21We don't need to be on their backs harping on about sex and sex topics.
00:28:25It's a recipe for my son or daughter to be having sex in a bush somewhere.
00:28:38We're tackling peer pressure.
00:28:40Peer pressure affects how consent is given by making it difficult for someone to say no
00:28:45when they don't feel comfortable already.
00:28:47So we've asked our focus parents to discuss different areas of consent with their kids.
00:28:55Grab those journals.
00:28:56Write your notes.
00:28:57Panel parents, remember you'll be voting later.
00:29:01Let's have a look at another one.
00:29:03In theory, articulating consent is simple.
00:29:06Yes or no.
00:29:08But in practice, it can be really tricky.
00:29:11What happens when alcohol or peer pressure or hormones come into play?
00:29:16We need to be having regular, open dialogue about this topic.
00:29:21So, what do you think consent is?
00:29:25Consent's like asking permission to do something with the other person.
00:29:28It's just manners.
00:29:29Yeah.
00:29:29As traditional parents, we definitely try to protect them from adult themes as much as possible.
00:29:34We're not intentionally trying to broach sex at this age.
00:29:38When you're kissing someone, it's important to check in before doing something else with them.
00:29:44I may have a few concerns about the topics.
00:29:52We'll just have to take it as it comes.
00:29:53She doesn't want to talk about the sex.
00:29:55Doesn't like talking about the sex.
00:29:56Actually, I don't really care, but maybe not with you there too.
00:29:59And like, well, I don't know.
00:30:00It's a bit weird.
00:30:04I love you.
00:30:05That's how they came to be.
00:30:06Well, yeah, but, you know, chatting about the kids.
00:30:08If you kiss someone and they want to do that, say they sit on a bed, you can just like walk.
00:30:23Emma, stop it!
00:30:24No, she's saying, let her speak.
00:30:27I go, why are you sitting on a bed?
00:30:29And then they go, oh, I want to do this.
00:30:31And then they go, nah, man, and they can walk and call dad.
00:30:34Definitely call your dad.
00:30:35I like that one.
00:30:37Definitely call dad.
00:30:38Yeah.
00:30:38Because dad's got a shotgun and a shovel.
00:30:42Oh!
00:30:44Whoa!
00:30:46All right.
00:30:50How old are your daughters again?
00:30:5212 and 14.
00:30:54Yeah, I think that maybe start to have some type of conversation around consent and sex,
00:31:03because it would be around them, just so they don't feel so awkward.
00:31:10It was awkward.
00:31:11Yeah, I'm not going to lie.
00:31:13I don't really think anyone's 100% comfortable having a full-blown chat about sex or their sex life with their children.
00:31:19We weren't asking you to talk about your sex life with your kids.
00:31:22They know about everything that they should know.
00:31:26We don't need to be on their backs harping on about sex and sex topics.
00:31:30I feel like being overprotective about consent is almost a recipe for my son or daughter to be having sex in a bush somewhere without me knowing.
00:31:40I want to go to Dan here.
00:31:42Mm-hmm.
00:31:43What did you make of what you saw there with our traditional parents?
00:31:46Yeah, I just want to humanise that, yeah, it can be uncomfortable.
00:31:50Yeah.
00:31:51I would just say that one of the things that I think is just a general good rule for everybody is, like, we need to get comfortable getting uncomfortable.
00:31:57Because I wouldn't want any young person feeling like their desires or their curiosity is shameful.
00:32:03From what I saw, like, they're actually really ready and happy to have those conversations, and I could see their insights and empathy ticking over.
00:32:11It's never too early to begin conversations about consent.
00:32:16If kids don't learn consent from us, they're going to learn it from somewhere else, their friends or social media.
00:32:23In our family, on the first Sunday of every month, we sit down with the kids and we talk about tough topics.
00:32:28Six Daughters, we have found that it's helpful to normalise having hard conversations.
00:32:33We've also discovered the more we do it, the more comfortable we become, the more comfortable they are, to the point where they, believe it or not, actually start to look forward to those Sunday conversations, the chocolate milkshake, and the treats, while we talk for 15 or 20 minutes about a tricky topic.
00:32:50Let's watch another consent chat.
00:32:54What's consent?
00:32:57Yes means yes and no means no.
00:32:59Well done.
00:33:00You know what it is, don't you, Keone?
00:33:01Yeah.
00:33:02Yes means yes and no means no.
00:33:04Exactly what I said, you copy.
00:33:06I don't know if we've actually said the word consent to them before.
00:33:09No.
00:33:10If the kids ask us something, we just give them a pretty straight answer, I reckon.
00:33:13It's never planned.
00:33:14It's just like, oh, yeah.
00:33:15Alright.
00:33:16You go out with your friends to a local football game, but there's a lot of older kids who are being loud and aggressive, and you feel uncomfortable.
00:33:26Would you stay, or what would you do?
00:33:29Would you try and stick it out, or would you go?
00:33:32Yeah, I would probably stay, but...
00:33:35I'd probably stay.
00:33:37You kind of have to.
00:33:38You can always say no.
00:33:44Okay.
00:33:45Have you had a deep conversation about consent?
00:33:51Because all I see is yes means yes, no means no.
00:33:54There's actually more to it.
00:33:55So have you had any deeper conversations?
00:33:56No.
00:33:57So it is a conversation we're always having.
00:33:59When it comes to sex, maybe not as much.
00:34:01We definitely do with a 13-year-old, but not so much the boys, I guess, because they're still younger, I guess.
00:34:06But that challenge there, you weren't talking about sexual consent?
00:34:10No, we weren't.
00:34:11You were talking about being exposed to older kids, and they were doing something naughty.
00:34:16Do you feel confident that Layla would say no to peer pressure?
00:34:21Yes.
00:34:22Yeah, I'd think so, yeah.
00:34:25I think those boys were talking about, because it was put in a football context, and when we talked about it later,
00:34:29they were talking about that if they were in the footy game, we'd still be there for our team.
00:34:34Layla also said she wouldn't leave.
00:34:37Yes.
00:34:40Which, yeah, I guess, yeah, that can be concerning.
00:34:42I guess that's more of a conversation we need to have.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48Yeah, I think that was probably the bit that, you know, caught my attention, and no doubt for all of us,
00:34:52trying to help young people feel like they can own what they're feeling.
00:34:55Not just emotions in terms of, I'm happy, I'm sad, but like, I'm uncomfortable.
00:35:00Girls especially, who can sometimes be conditioned to be nice, to go just along with things,
00:35:05not to rock the boat, giving her 100% power to say, you can walk away, you can tell a trusted adult,
00:35:11because we want to help all our young people to identify that feeling, and then feel so empowered
00:35:16to act consistently with that to keep themselves safe.
00:35:20Yes.
00:35:21The recent Australian child maltreatment study said it was one in three girls
00:35:25who have experienced sexual violence, and so we have to acknowledge that and do something about that.
00:35:30Next, this has been one of the most important conversations I think I've ever been involved in.
00:35:39We get deeper into the most uncomfortable areas of consent.
00:35:43Is there such a thing as safe sexting?
00:35:45I just don't think that we should be putting down women.
00:35:49We're not.
00:35:50Here we go.
00:35:51Tonight we're tackling peer pressure, and the different ways it can affect our kids, including how consent is given.
00:36:03We know consent is always needed, no matter what, and comes in many different forms.
00:36:08But how do we teach this?
00:36:10Let's watch Mark and Tammy, our final consent chat.
00:36:16Parents, it's time to talk about consent with your children.
00:36:20That's going to be interesting.
00:36:21Okay boys.
00:36:22In this challenge, our focus parents are discussing a wide range of scenarios where consent is needed.
00:36:29So we can fully unpack this complex topic.
00:36:32So this morning we're going to be talking about consent.
00:36:35What is that?
00:36:37Consent.
00:36:38You need consent to go in the swimming pool.
00:36:41I think the upfront parenting style makes it easy to approach difficult conversations with our kids.
00:36:48We talk about war.
00:36:49We talk about religion.
00:36:50We talk about suicide, drugs, mental health.
00:36:52You know Matt.
00:36:53You and your friend are playing a wrestling game, and your friend wants to stop.
00:36:59What do you do?
00:37:00I tackle him until he says stop.
00:37:03Yeah, but he said stop.
00:37:05I'll just stop.
00:37:06But if I'm angry then I probably won't stop.
00:37:09You do it one more time and then stop.
00:37:11Yeah.
00:37:12You all have to do it.
00:37:13You all have to do it.
00:37:14You all have to do it.
00:37:15You get that last hit.
00:37:16Yeah.
00:37:17As our front parents, our children are familiar with adult things.
00:37:19We need to arm them with that information.
00:37:21you're sent a naked photo online i'm just making up names johnny sends you a naked photo of
00:37:34cecilia block them that's weird block them and delete them notify the police what is the first
00:37:43thing you do when you get it though from johnny what do you do what's your reaction like what
00:37:46do you think yeah why cecilia got no clothes on the thing at the moment that we're noticing is the
00:37:56girl shorts have gotten shorter and shorter and shorter i'm saying to our boys don't come home
00:38:03with the girls with the short shorts i don't want to be friends with the mother-in-law
00:38:08okay so then there's actually a big conversation to this cecilia let somebody take a photo of her
00:38:17naked in the first place didn't she
00:38:22do you let somebody take a naked photo of you no no no yeah so all of this can go away
00:38:29if you don't allow somebody to take a photo of you i would never blame a girl for having her photo
00:38:46shared i have had a naked photo of me leaked before i've had been in that circumstance before
00:38:53i thought i could trust someone i have told our boys a lot about my past including that event
00:39:03i have told them how i feel and why you shouldn't be doing that to women thank you for being so brave
00:39:10the reality is young girls are doing this kids are doing this even young boys are doing this
00:39:17our kids are feeling the peer pressure to sext dan what is it with sexting this has just become
00:39:25normalized it's quite extraordinary how many young people are aware of sexting and nudes and again
00:39:31late primary into year seven like this is when this is rife and starts happening a lot
00:39:37boys know there's more pressure on girls to share nudes and there's more shame when they do
00:39:41is there such a thing as safe sexting in your opinion i don't believe there is
00:39:51i think we do have to hold the line on that for the safety of everybody
00:39:56any other thoughts on that um what was the short shorts thing what was that
00:40:02so the thing at the moment that we're noticing is the girls they're wearing short shorts i'm saying
00:40:12to our boys don't bring the girl home with the short shorts here you go i'm not judging the girl with
00:40:20the short shorts i'm judging the girl's mum you were very judgmental there and because you have all boys
00:40:27as well you know how men judge women and go well she wore that so it was okay yeah for me to then do
00:40:36such and such i'm a mother of boys but if i was a mother of a girl i would not let my 12 year old
00:40:42go out in a brazilian butt bikini that's just my opinion i think girls should be able to wear whatever
00:40:48they want i really do but i do think that there's an age as well where it's appropriate
00:40:52a 12 year old in a g-string on a beach makes it very difficult for my husband to walk down comfortably
00:41:00so women need to dress appropriately so that nathan feels comfortable do you want to put a bunch of
00:41:07kids and your husband but you're on the beach and they just walk through and you've just got a row of
00:41:11backsides you know like how do you feel about that i'm not really thinking is my husband looking at
00:41:18that i just don't think that we should be putting down women we're not can we also notice the theme
00:41:26in all of this that we've turned the focus to the girls there's always concern for me that it can
00:41:35suggest that someone had it coming to them or they should that that's a type of person that we
00:41:40shouldn't respect as much as someone fully clothed right i think we have to address that that it
00:41:45shouldn't change how we relate to the respect and decency and care that that person is owed
00:41:52but there's a great deal of concern from many of the parents in the room around what kids are wearing
00:41:59the word that i would use is concern about early sexualization sure i do worry about porn culture
00:42:07over sexualization and these pressures because i speak to parents all the time navigating this and
00:42:13wanting to go but where do we draw the line when is it okay why is it that our culture perhaps places
00:42:19more value on a girl when she looks a particular way and takes a sexy selfie and not her artwork not her
00:42:25creativity her academic performance her volunteering her strength her athleticism and my heart breaks
00:42:31because i don't know what it's like to be a teenage girl navigating this culture being told that the
00:42:36most important thing about you is if you're hot sexy thin enough or not i don't have no idea what that's like
00:42:42to have that vomited at me from everywhere i turn online in advertisements so i think we actually
00:42:47got to give them grace and we're going to give parents grace for navigating through that and asking
00:42:52well what are we valuing and celebrating our young women for in this country i think daniel opened
00:42:58our eyes to why some of these things happen i think we've got a lot of work to do ourselves highlighted
00:43:05to us like oh we've got some uh bigger conversations to have we've got some really
00:43:11big conversations too i do think we need to turn that focus around and be like having this discussion
00:43:18with our boys about how we respect women not disrespect them because of what they choose to wear
00:43:26this has been one of the most important conversations i think i've ever been involved in
00:43:33who is going to go home and perhaps rethink their conversations they've had in regards to consent
00:43:39with their kids yeah yeah definitely me too you go every single one of us in this room thank you so much
00:43:49daniel change is possible through an open dialogue about consent and body safety we can help young
00:43:59people to build relationships based on respect and clear boundaries it starts with all of us
00:44:05coming up come on i bet you've done something naughty in your life i have but that was when i was little
00:44:11peer pressure takes hold this is kind of boring do you want to just like go uh and what follows i don't
00:44:18care if i'm being mean i don't care about your opinion will shock everyone is it okay to bully the
00:44:24bully two wrongs don't make a right you're not perfect either so we can focus on some of your flaws as well
00:44:35we're diving into one of the toughest challenges parents face negative peer pressure is real
00:44:42every parent hopes that their child will do the right thing but what happens when their friend
00:44:49is pushing them to break the rules in this challenge we're putting our focus kids in a real life
00:44:56pressure test they're going to head to a park for a play date with a chaperone and a new friend
00:45:03what they don't know is their new friend is an actor and once the chaperone is distracted the actor
00:45:10child will try to get them to play in an out of bounds area and exclude another child
00:45:19panel parents remember you'll be voting later who taught you the most and which parenting style do you
00:45:25think handled peer pressure the best so grab those journals write your notes peer pressure is an
00:45:33extremely common issue for kids as they grow older with around about 90 of teens reporting that they've
00:45:39been subjected to negative peer influences this challenge will test whether these children have
00:45:47been taught how to deal with their peers when the pressure is on hey guys i got a text message come
00:45:54have a look parents how does your child go with playing old school games send arch to the park where
00:46:01his new friends are waiting off you go to the park go to the park to the park have fun see ya enjoy meeting
00:46:07your new friend bye in this challenge our focused children are on a play date their new friend is an
00:46:13actor who will pressure them to break the rule don't play at the playground and how will they go when
00:46:20another child wants to join in and there's pressure to exclude them hi hi those up front parents our
00:46:28advice is worry about yourself not what everyone else is doing while i'm gone don't go on the flying fox
00:46:32because i'm not here to supervise they know you say no if they don't feel safe or confident with
00:46:37something all righty do you want to just do some grip ball then sure all right hey can i play there's
00:46:44only two things though you can have mine if you want oh thanks so much yeah i'll go here and we'll just
00:46:52play catch okay okay cool what if you guys both stand next to each other and try and throw the balls at me
00:46:59no all right we'll do it after this i'm not gonna play you guys can do it if you want to get hurt but
00:47:05i'm not gonna go on the flying fox why wouldn't you go on it because the lady on the phone call said
00:47:11we can't but why wouldn't she let us because we could get hurt but we can't get hurt if it's soft padded
00:47:17ground and tan buck yeah and we just hold on to it well we could fall over and maybe hit our heads
00:47:23why are you being so boring how am i don't want to do anything i'm just doing the right thing wait
00:47:29till she comes back she'll never know we'll see which one of us it doesn't matter if she can see
00:47:33us or not she told us not to do it come on but you've done something naughty in your life you can't
00:47:37just done nothing naughty i have but that was when i was little yeah yeah you're still little oh my god
00:47:43i mean you said i'm a big boy it's so cute um with archer with the upfront parents he obviously
00:47:53didn't go on the flying fox he said i'm just doing the right thing and he included the child and even
00:47:58gave him the pad as well so that was very nice to see yeah he clearly knew right from wrong and that
00:48:06showed that in your parenting you nailed it it was really good should we see how our other parents went
00:48:12okay oh there's hugo you see him yeah yeah you guys say hello i certainly believe that it's easy
00:48:20for kids to get peer pressured as pro-tech parents i've had these conversations with the boys hi i've
00:48:27taught my boys to always stand up for the right thing people that may need your help it's really
00:48:33important for my boys to be decent human beings with strong morals and values
00:48:39yeah let's go on the play quickly i don't think we're allowed bro come on let's go
00:48:49just one no please just one time no why not i got three he's not gonna come back he's all the way over
00:48:56there um please no hey here you go can i please join you no no no you can play maybe you could like
00:49:11play picky in the middle with them oh no i'll be in the middle do you know no no no no no you're being
00:49:19mean to either we let him play or maybe you can go play over there i don't care if i'm being mean
00:49:24i don't care about your opinion maybe we let him play instead of you hey what are you doing stop
00:49:30you're not playing see see how it feels when you get bullied
00:49:42you're being mean to him either we let him play or maybe you can go play over there i don't care if
00:49:47i'm being mean i don't care about your opinion maybe we let him play instead of you
00:49:50we're in the middle of a challenge about peer pressure where one child is taking matters into
00:49:57his own hands see how it feels when you get bullied
00:50:02somebody stop bullying him then okay
00:50:07i was quite proud of him that he actually stood up for the other child we don't like boys yeah and he
00:50:13even like was showing the other boy how it feels how it feels to be excluded it's not nice
00:50:19he really did me proud to be honest and that's how i parent him
00:50:24we don't tolerate disrespect yeah i actually made a note essentially two wrongs don't make a right
00:50:32i can see he has got that from us because we are often teaching that lesson if they start
00:50:38bullying one of the other kids it's okay well you're not perfect either so
00:50:42if you want to do that we can focus on some of your flaws as well how does that make you feel if we
00:50:47did that to you you don't tolerate disrespect is it okay to be disrespectful to somebody who is
00:50:56disrespectful is it okay to bully the bully no it's not
00:51:03it was great that landon stood up for himself and tried to include the new friend but it's important
00:51:12to remind our kids to speak calmly and avoid escalation all right let's watch a couple more
00:51:20challenges and just remember our focus parents haven't seen this footage hey jamie as traditional
00:51:28parents we have definitely spoken to our kids about peer pressure i think rose feels probably
00:51:33a bit uncomfortable when she feels pressured to do things she wouldn't normally do i do have to go
00:51:38and make a phone call though can you guys just promise me that you don't go and play on the
00:51:42playground equipment while i'm not watching you that kids have very strong senses of justice i think
00:51:47they'll always try to do the right thing i think i'm gonna win this game but like this is kind of
00:51:53boring do you want to just like go to the playground uh um um she told us not to so we should wait for
00:52:05her to come back you know we'll we'll be fine there um i think we should just wait because okay she'll
00:52:12come back soon okay we'll just wait then oh my god hi hello what are you guys playing we're just about
00:52:24to do like a hopscotch thing oh can i play sorry actually it's just the two of us why not are you
00:52:30sure well it's just the two of us you know she can she can play it'll be great hopscotch is better
00:52:38more people anyways with rose um she's done so well yeah she wasn't influenced at all she didn't
00:52:47buckle so she looked uncomfortable yeah with the situation yeah which i expected i expected
00:52:52to be a bit uncomfortable in a in the situation where there's rules being broken yeah we're happy
00:52:58to do the right thing and we would expect her to do that i think yeah okay we've got one more to
00:53:02see should we take a look i'm just gonna go and grab my phone just wait till i come back before
00:53:07you go into the playground and play on the equipment because i'm not here to watch yep
00:53:12i think as active parents we're just teaching the kids to stand up for themselves marshall with peer
00:53:17pressure i think he'd do really well give one hey this is getting a bit boring would you want to go to
00:53:27the park i'll probably be here till about two o'clock
00:53:37uh yeah we can yeah yeah yeah let's go now let's grab a bit of a swing yeah you want to see you can
00:53:45get the highest or something yeah
00:53:54hi oh oh hey hey can i play with you yeah sure uh i don't know it's kind of just the two of us three is a
00:54:02bit of a bit of a bit of a party no we're a good man four is a bit of a party three's pretty good
00:54:10nah sorry we're good now you're trying to exclude a friend um no what's your name uh luca okay
00:54:21oh we're just on the swings now you want to go up to the slot okay
00:54:23all right with the active parents he did fall to the pressure
00:54:35he did go to the playground so i didn't follow the rules that was a bit of a let down
00:54:41that's a tough one for me because his assessment of that is that it was really not too much of a
00:54:47negative impact by by going into that boundary but once it come to more serious things like
00:54:51excluding a friend he stuck to some very good values within that but he still broke the rule
00:54:58yeah when he's at a party in grade nine your children are going to face much greater pressure
00:55:07from the kids that they know and have long-standing relationships with the fear of ostracism makes the
00:55:13pressure so much higher and so much harder fostering self-confidence within our children
00:55:21can serve as a shield against negative peer influences when paired with teaching empathy
00:55:30it empowers them to move from being passive bystanders to active upstanders empathy
00:55:36is the key ingredient to resist peer pressure next eddie your voice is hurting my ears right now
00:55:43parents listen up they're all hating on me don't in front me again got it the secret weapon skill
00:55:49babbling about something every parent needs so babbling to you was it potentially important to her
00:55:57then the panel vote on which parenting style has the best approach when it comes to peer pressure
00:56:04our vote is going to
00:56:11tonight we're going to get to the heart of peer pressure one of the biggest issues for kids and
00:56:16their parents today it is time for our focus parents to face the final challenge of the night
00:56:23panel parents remember you'll be voting later on who handled peer pressure the best in this challenge
00:56:31our focus parents will be tested on one of the most important skills in the parenting handbook listening
00:56:38panel parents in this challenge the parents think that they're teaching one child an important life
00:56:45skill like ironing changing a tire or baking a cake they believe that's the test but while they're focused
00:56:55on the task we sent in another child to share a story about something that's happened in their life
00:57:02the real challenge did you listen the pennies just dropped active listening and open communication
00:57:12between parents and children is crucial adolescents who perceive their parents as supportive are far
00:57:21better equipped to withstand peer influences that may lead to risky behaviors
00:57:27all right you know how to read a recipe sort of sort of taught you half of these stuff before but
00:57:35not all of it put it in put in where put oh so i was looking through my instagram you know how the
00:57:42what are you doing i want to tell you something no like now no i'm doing something with landon can i
00:57:47please no the kids can be very distracting you know how they're all hating on me about my company no see
00:57:54this is a quarter one second mate please just one this see this i do try and stop my child from
00:58:02talking so i can come back and revisit that situation at a time where i can give that child
00:58:07my attention there was this guy in particular called heat one for you he sent about like 400 messages
00:58:13every single day are you worried about that because you've come to me at a really random time so i just
00:58:19want to make sure that you're worried because you're saying worried no you're just like i'm just telling
00:58:22you he's oh he's made about like five accounts
00:58:27block him leave it at that mum don't interrupt me again got it
00:58:34so lenny iron hot around the back yes dolly remember at party
00:58:44there was a cat in a dress yes there was a cat in a dress
00:58:51there are oftentimes a hundred percent when i'm not listening properly sometimes all i can hear is
00:59:02so iron from the top down okay yes darling there was one cat at the cafe did scratch me out go away
00:59:11okay eddie your voice is hurting my ears right now
00:59:20from the pro tech family i learned that sometimes dealing with serious issues we have to prioritize
00:59:28yeah i agree with elvia but i do see like if you know they're showing a concern or something's upset
00:59:35them we should definitely stop what we're doing and listen to what's happening because it's quite
00:59:41important to them they wanted to tell us something unlike the cat with the skirt and that was quite
00:59:46funny but when you are doing something and you know then something else comes in you do get a little
00:59:51bit frustrated with the pro tech parents i think you've done really well like obviously it was a lot for
00:59:57you but you did address the topic you didn't ignore him which i reckon it's hats off to you
01:00:02because we hear deals with bullies online and that's something that we've dealt with as a
01:00:06family i did say to him does this worry you and his answer was no because of that it's just another
01:00:13day like we deal with it every other time all right shall we watch a couple more of the challenges
01:00:19is it off the ground yeah just be careful because the car's in the air now at the sleepover remember
01:00:27that um there was rihanna vivian there was rose i'm an airline captain we do a lot with distraction
01:00:34management at work so as you filter out that distraction and focus on the more important task
01:00:40and then um hey ems we're just about to get to the point where we're taking the car off so it's a bit
01:00:46it's a little bit of a i just keep going um and we're two different colored teams two different
01:00:51colored tutus and yeah look sometimes when the kids are trying to to talk to me it can be a little
01:00:57bit full-on and sometimes i don't listen as as as as i should don't send the other kids flying across
01:01:02the room we need to concentrate is that okay uh okay so no more do you remembers go inside and tell
01:01:10mum some stories because we're just going to take this off it's a little bit of a dangerous part okay
01:01:19once you get one nut on then it's it'll sit there by itself so when lewis was over when lewis was over
01:01:26yeah do i have to use this no just do it with your fingers first in the pool we're doing he can do the
01:01:31best no that's right leave it just go finger tight just go finger and redo them at the end as active
01:01:37parents we want to be there for the kids as much as we can we're always trying to listen to them and
01:01:41have an open-ended conversation communication's a big one absolutely yeah marsh just hold on a second
01:01:46layla just go tilt it up tight do the uh trying to tell a story man yeah i am listening lewis got the
01:01:53courage to do it again and then that time he belly flopped did he yeah did he get a big red mark on his
01:02:01belly yeah the story was marshall's friend's name was lewis who came over when he done the flip off
01:02:08the cave uh he belly flopped marshall said he landed flat on his stomach i was impressed well done
01:02:18mark you remember most of the content so you were listening you try you were trying your best
01:02:22i think that part is good you didn't kind of brush him off which was good i think i was once there
01:02:27where i kind of pulled it up and said hold on yeah but he still stuck around and you continued
01:02:32to listen so it was good with the traditional family you can see just a lifetime of procedures
01:02:40based around safety is very much your style it was a two and a half ton car in the air you just
01:02:47that was my focus and i was babbling about something about what happened two weeks ago
01:02:51it was babbling to you was it potentially important to her
01:02:59ah look it could have been yeah it sounded in my head like babble because i wasn't really
01:03:05focused on what she was saying in that situation maybe you should have put your profession hat aside
01:03:11and be the dad so obviously your father to two children she obviously has something important to
01:03:16say maybe try to hear her out first determine is it important could it wait till later i triaged
01:03:21a situation and and it was and it was there's a car in the air and there's a kid underneath it
01:03:26and then there's someone over here telling me what happened two weeks ago so i kind of went well this
01:03:31is already need my my focus and attention now so that's and that's the way i dealt with it
01:03:36it's pretty typical that the children come to us when we're busy oh yeah they see us actively involved
01:03:43in something and they think but now is the time where i need this urgent need satisfied saying to your
01:03:49child this matters a lot to you and it matters to me because it matters to you but i promised
01:03:54your brother or your sister some time with this activity right now as soon as we're done i'll come
01:04:00find you and we'll go through it and that way to use your word nathan you've triaged if it's important
01:04:07you're there for them if not they know that the appointment has been set and that they are valued
01:04:12because what they have to share with you matters children can resist peer pressure when they feel
01:04:19self-confident when they know how to make good decisions and when they have people they can talk
01:04:24to what you want to do is maintain open communication where teens can ask you questions without judgment
01:04:31or fear next he was so confident done so well in that challenge when it comes to peer pressure
01:04:37didn't he start bullying the kids as well which parenting style has the best approach it was pretty
01:04:42obvious who did really well and who maybe slipped through a bit
01:04:52okay that is the end of our challenges focus parents i'll get you to step out of the room
01:04:58while we get the votes panel parents come and join us in the front row so we can figure out which
01:05:07parenting style taught us the most about peer pressure all of these challenges are designed to
01:05:15test which parenting style gives their children the confidence and social skills to form healthy
01:05:23relationships the resilience and the strength to stand strong against negative peer pressure we'll
01:05:31talk first about our traditional parents nathan and joanne we found the girls during the challenges
01:05:37were extremely confident especially with the speed dating are you saying back to school yeah remembering
01:05:43the first challenge i rose how well spoken she was it was a pleasure to watch confident sometimes there
01:05:48are a bit obviously awkward maybe talking about consent with their parents when you're kissing someone
01:05:55it's important to check in before doing something else with them especially being 12 and 14 um
01:06:04i do think that they should have known a lot more as the traditional family they don't want to talk
01:06:09about this topic and dan's statistics suggests it's you know 15 to 17 is where a lot of the issues are so
01:06:17they've got time to make sure that their girls are fully equipped with everything they need
01:06:22to be able to make sure they're not part of that yeah let's talk now about our upfront parents
01:06:28mark and temi i feel that they brought up a really good conversation around the consent
01:06:33to narrow down what it actually means they were excellent like they owned up to it and they said
01:06:40like oh you know we realized that maybe we shouldn't have addressed this like that and it was just
01:06:44it was really good to see that they were aware that you know there was a problem and that you know
01:06:49they were going to work on that that was good but i think sometimes the language may be used around
01:06:55the boys was probably something that i found a bit concerning eddie your voice is hurting my ears right
01:07:02now in all those challenges you could see there's a little bit of off the cuff sort of remarks yeah but
01:07:08depending on the child it could definitely be sending a different message to what they intend
01:07:13correct yeah our pro-tech parents i liked how landon sort of took the opportunity to
01:07:22not teach the boy a lesson but just to show him like the implications of what he was doing
01:07:26see how it feels when you get bullied somebody stop bullying him didn't he start bullying the kid
01:07:31as well i think he stuck up for it more than anything he started then to play with the other boy
01:07:35and then just said how does that make you feel looks actually good his eye contact was a bit of a
01:07:43issue and we felt like he couldn't spark that conversation to keep going so i think there's
01:07:49probably a broader interest that would be would benefit a lot very important yeah let's talk now
01:07:55about amy and mark our active family i think amy and mark smashed it out of the park like what stood out
01:08:02with us the most was the listen to me challenge and then that time he belly flopped did he yeah
01:08:11mark done a great job as a father's able to multitasking for two children when it came to the
01:08:17peer pressure challenge i think marshall didn't follow one of the rules would you want to go to the
01:08:22park oh yeah we can that was a bit of a let down i think him being on the swing was minor compared to
01:08:29everything else something you have to think about is there something wrong with pushing boundaries
01:08:33if someone gives you a set rules are you allowed to break them how many times can you break the rules
01:08:38a small rule broken could be a big rule broken later but i don't think any of us are perfect
01:08:42none we've all broken rules it's been dating the child fantastic uh eye contact do you have any
01:08:50hobbies or anything yeah i like boxing i've had seven fights i love marshall he is the sweetest kid
01:08:57he was so confident you've done so well in that challenge yeah i agree good chat guys panel parents
01:09:03return to your seats write down which parenting style you learnt the most from when it comes to peer
01:09:09pressure i do find it hard to decide because all the family doing quite well the children most of them
01:09:17are confident and not too much of being influenced by others it was pretty obvious you know who did really
01:09:24well and who maybe slipped through a bit let's bring our focus parents back into the room hey
01:09:38focus parents the panel parents have discussed everything they've seen tonight
01:09:43and can now share whose parenting style they learnt the most from when it comes to dealing with peer pressure
01:09:49let's start with lv and sean our authoritative parents we said we learned a whole lot from the
01:09:54active family so we see that marshall handles all different conversations really really well he's
01:10:00really confident which shows that i think he's got a lot of exposure to different activities thank you
01:10:07okay give it to us straight life school parents we've learned a lot from each of you however our vote is
01:10:14going to traditional parents because you've clearly worked around building the girls up which i think
01:10:22is very important thank you thank you okay let's go to amanda and hassan the parenting style that we
01:10:28learnt the most from is active parents when it came to the pre-pressure we believe that you guys will
01:10:34tackle it straight away because strong on family-based activities you guys are doing very well thank you
01:10:41you nick and sophia we took a little bit from from everyone but i think the most we took from was
01:10:48mark and amy the active parents we really enjoyed marshall um in the challenges that he'd done we
01:10:53think he was a great conversationalist spending all that time together as a family i think it's really
01:10:57shone through him oh thank you there we go active parents well done thank you so much
01:11:03um that's surprising um no thank you so much that means so much to hear all those beautiful comments
01:11:12and you know we're doing something right so that's great love hearing that focus parents next time you
01:11:19get to move into the panel role and panel parents you'll be in the hot seat next time four new parenting
01:11:27styles are having the hard conversations australia needs to have about body image fillers and botox is
01:11:35the norm these days we confront a generation's worrying obsession at school they used to be
01:11:41writing on the walls about mummy's leg this is for me an area that requires immediate intervention and
01:11:48we arm parents with the tools to navigate their way through go go go guys honestly think you look
01:11:56pretty good for your age if i want my children to believe that they are perfect then i need to reflect
01:12:01that in my behavior
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