OVAReact Podcast S05 E08 - What Women Want Summit with The Hosts - video Dailymotion

Capital FM Kenya

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Transcript

00:00welcome to the overreact podcast in a society that tries to put women in a box let's overreact

00:09it's your girl momo hoia and it's your girl lash angela and it's your girl angela wamboy

00:13and we're here on location at the what women want summit and it's been an amazing experience so far

00:20and we have learned so much we have absorbed a lot of words of wisdom from different sisters

00:25from different walks of life and ladies how are you feeling i'm feeling energized i'm feeling uh

00:33i'm gonna use keep using the word watered i feel like it's not that i came empty but i've come out

00:39more full more like i'm more brighter is what i would say with the conversations and the connections

00:44and the laughter just seeing everyone here and how amazing everybody looks yeah i think i feel

00:51whole i feel like i'm in i mean in a place where i belong uh seeing all the energy uh the femininity

00:59the womanhood around it just feels like home yeah definitely i mean it is a celebration of femininity

01:06being soft you know being everything that we are and appreciating it yeah um and just being ourselves

01:14and i love those kind of spaces uh spaces where women can truly speak freely and it's a lot of you

01:21know it's a reflection of also our journey and what we want for women as well yeah um so we've had like

01:27several conversations and some alone some you guys together while i was doing my own thing and then all

01:34of us together which are kind of the conversations that struck a chord with you for one reason or another

01:39left to thinking and like what are the so like i would say um dolly wangare really spoke to me i felt

01:49like she has so much wealth of wisdom and the fact when we asked her and she said she wants to live life

01:55intentionally and now i at 39 i grasp what that means and i just imagine what would that have been

02:02for me if i understood the gravity of those words and then live in those words so she really struck a

02:10chord with me yeah um for me i think it's um the the cross-cutting thing um yeah like all the women

02:18they were bringing faith as one of the you know centering or the anchor for whatever journey they are on

02:25um and then uh one guest said that you know sometimes you are so emasculated uh we we want to

02:33be masculine yet uh you know emulating men we are forgetting that they are in their natural habitat

02:41so in the again in the office of womanhood in your femininity um like i got to reflect on my journey

02:49as a as a woman how much do i abandon my femininity to emasculate and you know assume um masculine

02:58energy most of the time other than just really and just intentionally just softening and being in my

03:04um feminine era being soft and strong yeah ss squared yes um that that's a definitely a conversation

03:11that struck a chord with me as well the duality of being hard and soft you know we don't have to just

03:18choose one and i think that was a reoccurring theme that society truly we don't have to be in the box

03:24that society tries to throw us in and say like you must be one dimensional you must just be this

03:28but really being unapologetic about our many gifts as women naturally i think it's in our nature to be

03:34dynamic we can be all these things and you don't necessarily have to choose and um yeah i think that's

03:42that's definitely something that stuck with me there was like a thread of connection collaboration

03:48yes a community because that's what this community is about yes um so maybe we can all share what

03:55like collaboration means for us connection means for us and community means for us i don't know who

03:59wants to go first i think when it comes to collaboration um it's not about reinventing the

04:05wheel but pulling from the gems that we have in our backyard you know you don't have to go too far

04:11to lift one another um so of course there's an african proverb that i always talk about which is each

04:16one teach one each one reach one so when you learn you teach and when you get you give and i think

04:23that is one way to constantly have replenishing relationships and i think for me that's what

04:30you know building community a sisterhood of community looks like for me yeah i think for me

04:36collaboration means uh we're living in a very globally connected world um the global village is real uh we could

04:43be here but someone in new york someone in japan someone in russia uh will still have the same

04:49experience digitally uh so i believe collaboration and our you know past um past speaker said that

04:58collaboration is a new currency and it's realizing the underlying power of collaboration uh and what

05:05that looks like um you know you have a strength that i don't have you have a strength that i don't have

05:11and so when we come together we complement and we're able to build something bigger and better

05:17so i think even in my work as in in whatever spaces i'm serving right now i've seen what collaboration

05:24can unlock especially when you're strategically aligned with different partners if it's academia

05:31it's it's big tech if it's people in the civil society like there's so many ways that we can

05:38trigger and foster change when we collaborate and i feel like we do better when we collaborate and magic

05:45happens when we come together as women yeah yeah for me collaboration is you you i mean i don't have

05:52to do everything i convince someone who's strong out the one thing i'm not good at or i just don't have

05:59the time and energy to pour into and so fine it's kind of like um being a tricycle and finding the

06:06different joints it's like when you're building a table or a chair there's a nail there's a there's

06:12the the sitting part there's the stool part like whatever legs all of those things you just got to

06:19figure out which part you are and you got and then if you're the one really seeking the collaboration

06:24figure out which parts you need um and that's what i've drawn is that like sometimes you need this in

06:33this season but it's not what you need in the next season because you already have it right and so

06:38identifying what that is in terms of community or connection what does that mean for you

06:44just oneness you know just coming together um creating a space where each one can feel hard and

06:53seen and we can move as one not divided i think that's what community means to me because again

07:02have a village girl i grew up i was not my mom's child if it was raining my neighbor would be like

07:08oh no come home eat then they will release me when the rain has let up so in in data bringing i have

07:16sort of like even brought it um in my life uh it's in the friendships in in partnerships both in personal

07:23and professional journeys in what we do uh basically we cannot thrive especially as africans because the

07:31other side of the world we know it's more individualism and we know how that works you

07:35know it's a recipe for mental health yes you're so alone you're alone so um the oneness basically we

07:43were created to thrive and coexist definitely um and you know a reoccurring thing that a lot of women

07:49set on these seats is make sure you have a good inner circle of girlfriends that you can confide in

07:56because we need those spaces to just exhale yeah you know and um one of the questions that actually

08:03lydia came had asked when is the last time a woman made you feel seen so i'm gonna pose that question

08:09to ladies just now with janet bogua to be honest um uh yesterday with uh sonia jasmine who was someone we

08:18had a conversation with earlier um there are things that they have said um that i won't make it public

08:26but the things that they said made me realize okay i'm on track and i'm on god's track so um i think

08:35with me saying that don't don't be silent with your compliments you really never know what that person

08:43needs that that what you saying will mean to them so yeah um just before i answer um so also i was

08:53picking here and there um most of the women that we talk to are talking about the in your 30s how the

08:59the community shrinks the circle shrinks um how is it going for you of course we are these but then we

09:08have individual friends um how is that i always wanted to know do you want us to answer first

09:14yes yes yes and then i can come in yeah um what was the question how wait i think how is your

09:21it has your circle shrinking how are you handling that because friendship breakups they hot and how

09:30you come out of that yeah i think we need a whole entire episode yeah that's where hall comes

09:36yes go ahead okay um i'm okay to be honest i think i say this all the time i live by the the anchor

09:45that has been my anchor since uh like in my late 20s is henry havelock ellis who says the art of living

09:54is the fine mingling of learning when to let go and learning when to hold on i think i lost i lost

10:01three friendships and two i had known for 20 years after those two left and our distance became

10:08quite evident and now we i don't know what they do with their lives and they don't know what i do with

10:12mine i've come to appreciate this term that some some things are for seasons some things are for all

10:19seasons and the ones you think are for all seasons tend to be the ones that just for seasons and

10:24appreciating that and i always tell my dad this my dad when i was in my like 16 he was like oh

10:30you know your friend from yeah from high school you're probably never gonna speak to them i'm like

10:34why are you so bad mind why would you say that about my friend me and my friend are gonna be friends

10:38forever i don't know what she does i mean i could go on facebook and check and i never understood but

10:45now that i am perhaps closer to the age when he was giving me that advice i now comprehend that

10:54transition shifting and not everybody is welcome where i'm going not everybody has the capacity to

11:01go with me where i'm going my cousin told me recently is that when you're climbing a mountain

11:06the air is thinner up there and so not everyone can handle the thin air and so appreciating that so i'm

11:13right now in the seas i'm i'm over the hurt and i've dealt with the hurt to now appreciating that

11:19just the same way they've left my life is the same way i'm exiting other people's lives as well

11:24um yeah wow uh for me i would say i am very blessed to be in a space especially with work uh where i do

11:33feel loved and you know my workmates will always keep it a hundredth with me and i know it's never coming

11:38from a place of trying to tear someone down or trying to belittle someone or trying to

11:44talk about the worst in someone but i am blessed enough to be around people that lead with love and

11:49when they speak to me whether it's a constructive criticism or whatever you need people like that

11:55and i and i'm blessed to have that on a daily basis um i know one thing we talked about that as women

12:01get into their you know their older years 30s 40s and whatnot that you also learn to naturally pivot

12:09which is important for your growth um and you should not be afraid of reinventing yourself you

12:15can reinvent yourself as many times as you want i think becky had mentioned that earlier

12:20and uh you know when it comes to your your circle shifting and changing

12:25just allow right away allow the river flow if you stop the flow it becomes more dangerous yeah i

12:32think for me actually i'll just turn link um last week and i thought about like my most memorable

12:38friendships um so in high school and in primary school i had this clique of always it's always three

12:44girls i remember nyambura and irene used to be best friends like weekends sleepovers sleepovers do i

12:53know where nyambura is do i know where irene is i don't know did i enjoy the season we are we were

12:58in i did then in high school my friend gladys you are tight oh my god we were sure that we are actually

13:06going to rent an apartment and we're going to live with each other for the rest of our lives i sometimes

13:13when i go home i i i know where she works um she's a doctor in a in a county government um hospital

13:20sometimes we catch up once in a while but it's not like the crazy how crazy it was and we had this

13:27vision of how our friendship will be uh came to college and made amazing friendships but again

13:32covet came and it shifted like that's where like the real loss of friendships like i i felt it like

13:41there was a shift but also what i realized even the good book says you know there's a time for

13:46everything yes and time and seasons so i've come to appreciate at a time where i was and season they

13:53served their purpose right yes and then i realized there was a life coaching thing i was doing and

13:59someone said um diversify your network as you diversify your network also diversify your friendship

14:06so if my kenyan friend uh leaves me i'm gonna cry in netherlands with my dutch friends

14:13what is meant to be yes yes so i learned how to diversify dutch tears they don't cry those people

14:22they are hard um so you've yeah like i've really like diversified my friendships and i'm really grateful

14:29to have like um a very diverse group of girlfriends the ones i walk in in the spiritual journey with

14:36the ones who know me you know the wounds from the past where i am and where i'm going and and i think

14:45i just pray to god that you know in the other chapters of my life um we'll be able to bring them

14:50along and if not i'm okay i'm okay like you know mel robin says uh let them yeah and let them theory is

14:58real yeah so we'll detach and be removed from the emotion and from the uh be removed from them

15:05outcome yeah so and i think it's great how you mentioned the different pockets of friends because

15:10that is human nature we do have different pockets of friends where you know what to give what to hold

15:16back on and my sister is my best friend for life i see how why you asked us that question because it

15:24connects to connections right and identifying networks identifying even like just in this uh

15:32what women want summit um there are so many conversations by the way taking place and you

15:37will see that in the different speakers and moderators that we'll have shared already um and

15:43so in those spaces of course like like the session i had was build your brand so of course there are

15:48people there who are maybe more entrepreneurs or wanting to develop their personal brand then you had

15:53um traces having a faith talk then there's like an air so what you find then you can also find that

15:59you're having friendships that align with the path that you're going work wise or the path you're going

16:06from a wellness point of view right and so sometimes um like you said about dropping is then there are

16:14things that now become more important right let's say um i'm not married right so being i don't know

16:22i don't i do know but i'm not in a relationship so right now i don't have to think about

16:30putting importance in relationship right but if i was then that my balance my see so changes and so

16:37then i will find i'm more drawn to people in couples because they will understand me right

16:43in your motherhood you get drawn to that and then if it's trauma you find yourself drawing yourself to

16:49people who understand your challenges and and these spaces allow you to connect and build those

16:56connections yeah yeah been a great it's been it's been one day okay one day one night for me but like

17:04just the room is buzzing i wish you could hear it but the room behind us is buzzing like

17:10like with excitement yes yeah and energy amazing huh another question another topic that came up

17:18is the issue of faith whatever that looks like for you do you want to share what what's the question

17:25exactly or what do you want to just when i talk about faith what does it mean to you how does it play

17:30in your life uh because also pinky shared about you know what women want is more it's a higher calling

17:39if you extrapolate that you know what she means um also janice shared that you know her anchor she

17:46always find herself uh you know reading the word and and and going back um you know to god whatever

17:53uh where you anchor your faith uh how has it played in terms of where you are and who you are

17:59and and why don't you share first girl bye yeah oh okay open the floor okay faith um

18:09i'm a very different person from what you see on overreact i'm an intercessor i i can i can

18:16she can pray let me tell you you would think chat gpt wrote those prayers but it's monica yes biblically

18:26um inspired and quoted prayers like i know the word and i know how to invoke the grace of god through

18:32prayer um and that's it yeah you know god my bible my prayers and um yeah that's that's how

18:41how serious i am about faith and it plays a very big role especially this year in who i am who i'm

18:50rebranding myself to be and it's the rest of my life yeah i love it yeah lovely um man i think

18:59all things work for the good of god so sometimes you don't know where life is leading you you know

19:05and that's why we have the saying walk by faith not by sight so for me faith is always having an open

19:11mind and an open heart and sometimes it's really hard for us to hear god's voice um that gift of

19:17discernment uh but for me faith is simply walking with an open heart so i can feel what i'm walking

19:26into and you'll naturally know whether it's for you or not for you you'll know the things to fight

19:30for and the things to let go so that is what faith looks like for me okay um so for those who follow

19:36me personally i actually have an instagram page called faith faucet and this was an inner calling

19:43of using my voice to speak on things about god and what the holy spirit is putting in my spirit to

19:52share with others and i had a session with janet and uh because i had to do it ahead of uh lydia and

19:59modoni because of a session i had after and so i'm becoming more comfortable talking about faith

20:07in platforms in um in podcasts uh so for me i've i think the best way i would say is before i lived with

20:17god part of my life now i live god with with him at the center so faith is definitely becoming a

20:25definition of what drives me what moves me and what centers me lovely yeah yeah so definitely for

20:33sure um i think maybe as we come to like a close um there was a question about as we as we build our

20:43faith we're also building uh our mental space and our physical space so what does fitness and because

20:52there's there's a conversation about fitness how are you keeping yourself mentally fit what are the

20:58things that you've learned i'm mentally fit spiritually fit physical fit every every other fit that can fit

21:07in that fit wow i make sure my plate is balanced i um dropped the weight of the world off my shoulder so

21:17um the only weight i can actually lift is the weight in the gym not the weight of the world how many

21:24kgs oh so that we can measure you from the next time we ask this question i can lift 80 kg wait wait yes

21:31and i'm i'm increasing i'm slowly as dainty as you are you can lift 80 80 girl amazing yes go you

21:39yeah i mean you can do it i'm less than 80 yeah um the weight of the world is off my shoulders so that

21:50means you know less stress my cortisol is balanced i'm nourishing myself with the word of god

21:58with a conducive environment and listening to the inner voice in terms of where this journey leads me

22:07so that's how i'm fitting the feet in your fitness yes yes yeah wow i will be honest uh keeping fit

22:15is this struggle for me anyone that i thought you're going back to the gym girl no i mean i i tried it

22:20was a trial period so i'm not going to react it over here it was a free speech what i will say

22:28so i mean i i had downloaded some app accident you know you see all these ads like oh pilates 28 day

22:33challenge so it's like seven day free trial so i was like i downloaded the seven day free trial

22:39and for some reason when i was trying to unload it before the seven days i couldn't find where to take

22:44it off so boom it charged me 88 and i have this app full year subscription so i said i have to just

22:51use it so it's easy pilates that you could try home i'll let you know if it actually works you would

22:57need to let us know we're gonna see so yeah i've really i feel like i have struggled with my weight

23:03because i've always been naturally petite and then post-covid i just started changing

23:08i've gained at least well i went from 58 to like 71 and for me that's a big change so i don't i can't

23:15fit anything in my closet now thank you i think i just finally filled out i didn't realize how skinny

23:19i was back then but now you know i'm full figured african woman yes can i just because you've brought that

23:25out um how have you navigated shifting your mind from angela physically to angela physically now

23:32um and how do you love her the same uh it took me a while to get used to my weight because i also

23:39i feel like when you're petite you can't usually feel your way but i could feel the fullness of

23:43everything and everywhere i go so people are like hey you've become fat and i feel like in kenyan

23:48culture it's normal to tell someone that it's not a big deal but in the u.s it's highly offensive to

23:52call someone fat west in the west period yes yes in the west um so you know but also

23:59you know you hear people saying you you look good though you look good like my aunt was like wow angie

24:03when did you become like this so you know it comes with all the different reactions and i just had to

24:08give myself time to adjust to my size you know and luckily i i designed all my clothes majority of

24:14them so at least i've slowly embraced it um but let's try out the pilates and see where we get

24:21in 28 days when did you download it like a week ago like two weeks ago now so um but it's easy

24:29seven minutes in december do you know what we've learned something from me don't download this

24:34they will play you they will they force me and so when your subscription sounds like okay i got to

24:40i spent my money so i must eat my money as well um but in terms of mentally i think uh i become more

24:48fit in that arena just giving myself grace i think it's so a big part of of your mental fitness is is

24:56giving yourself grace literally i think i've changed the way that i hold on to maybe things that people

25:03say about me you know at the end of the day it's about you you know and having that conversation

25:09with yourself and so i think for my mental uh fitness allowing myself grace and thank you for

25:16sharing and thank you for being vulnerable and candid um for me i'm working on my circadian rhythm

25:23what is this circadian rhythm they're consistent it's the consistency of sleeping the same time and

25:31waking up the same time and so that eventually i don't need the alarm because i've created that

25:37system and that rhythm so that's what i'm developing so this year for me um because i need more time

25:44with god i want to do like four to six with god and then and then if it and then do the workout

25:48immediately so then i have no excuse of not working out and the part i'm struggling with is the night part

25:55because i switch off mentally at nine for sure but i don't switch off this phone for sure so that's

26:02that's the mental fitness that i need to work on because this scrolling stuff can be really you

26:08just find yourself watching oh most of my video okay let me see and then respond oh this group sent me a

26:13video yeah ones that i haven't even watched um so yeah so that um i would say um my fitness level is what i

26:23i think listening to michelle again i was like yeah i don't want to struggle in my 60s 60s it's not

26:30far away yeah um so i want to become physically fit luckily we live we're filming this in the city of

26:36nairobi if you're watching somewhere else and so we have color for us we have so many places we can walk

26:43um so yeah so i want to be better at being active and participating in what she said which is find

26:51communities in the things so like the hiking or whatever it is that i feel for you girl you need

26:55to learn a bilates community so that you can be consistent with that but we are gonna hold you

27:01accountable and everyone here can we run a marathon together this year for the october yeah

27:08miss mails they want to go she let let us out with it

27:15everyone to hold us accountable the one in october the stand shot yes yeah i can do that one okay we

27:20can do that i'll get back to you running is not my strength but i mean okay i can walk fast

27:26that one i can do i i have my my downtown yeah walking session so yeah you're like my dad you're not

27:33the best person to walk with because you you kind of forget that you're walking with people and so you're

27:37moving at the speed of light yeah okay i can walk fast yes you're welcome so let it be known that we

27:44are doing that marathon the three of us yeah she's gonna i'm gonna run ish i'm gonna run half 21 kms

27:52yeah i've done i've done keep jogging yeah see if your the legs yeah

27:58they can run yeah they can run yes so as we wrap it up we asked our um our guests to share what's in

28:09their bag their physical we haven't shared and their uh the imaginary bag like what's your toolbox

28:15what's in the bag that you carry with everywhere you go every day you're the one who brought it up

28:21you are the one to start it up okay um wow so in my bag like i mentioned on one of the episodes i am

28:30a bag lady everyone's eyes like andy why do you have so many bags yeah um i have how many bags do you

28:36have today let's start today i only have two bags well three i guess i have my mini bag that has like the

28:45important stuff wallet money lip gloss um so i mean to technically only have three bags okay but you

29:02said two one is inside the other you know i have my mini bag that's very tiny and compact it has like

29:09the card the money because you never know when your impesta is going to be off uh gloss the essentials

29:17and then you have like the main bag where i can carry other things like um you never know when

29:24the needle and thread because you never know when your outfit wants to embarrass you things pop off

29:29so i always have that in my bag a tape measure a kitenge yeah kitenge you never know i might need a

29:35little shawl for my um and then like bigger bags i'm someone that carries a lot of outfits imaginary bag

29:42is silence i carry silence i have to i have to include silence in my day at some point so i yeah

29:51because for me i need to switch off there's too many noises if you put on your phone

29:56pa-pa-pa-pa-pa messages emails social media so yeah silence for me is what i pack mine is uh pocket

30:06tissue um wet wipe a lip well uh what i'm wearing heels you'll find um flat shoes or sneakers somewhere

30:17maybe we should have asked you what your car has for you

30:20yeah i have a lot of shoes sometimes um but in my imaginary bag um from my work we were trained

30:42about situational analysis so i always have that in my tools because nairobi you never know it's

30:48who's trying to jump you who's trying to get chai from you or who means that smile they're coming for

30:54you yeah so it's it's always up in my sleeves and then there's this thing i started like you know i'm

31:01gonna make two gods very smiley like i just crack a joke and i leave them crying i love that you never

31:09know what that laughter will do too yeah like laughter is good for the soul yeah now i have best friends

31:15who are calling me i think we don't need to cash i'm like oh it was a one-time thing but at least if

31:21ever you park your car there you know it's gonna be well protected always always yeah it has been such

31:27a lovely conversation also just learning different things about you guys as individuals but also just

31:34i think that i'm gonna go home and have my pocket of silence to soak in everything they're amazing

31:40conversations and we hope you've loved them too please share in your comments below what do you

31:46want as a woman and if you're a man what do you want for us yes um in the future in the now

31:53and yeah i'm excited yeah you can catch this very episode on capital uh fm youtube on sister speaks

32:00x254 on instagram and spotify and google and everywhere basically even x um so for more on

32:09this for more of these amazing conversations uh you can follow us you can like and also you can

32:15follow us on overreact um that is on instagram and uh get to overreact with us yes and you can

32:21catch us live every wednesday at 10 p.m on capital fm it's been really wholesome ladies it has been

32:27i am i am like my heart is full so it's mine so it's mine i think we should do more of a happy

32:34like this i really enjoyed this yeah yeah thank you thank you so ladies with that said let's overreact

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