- today
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00:00Go!
00:00Go!
00:01Previously on Virgin.
00:03I am still a virgin.
00:05There was some red flags with Zach,
00:07and I had to shut it down immediately.
00:09Like, I don't even want to entertain it.
00:11I don't think I'm ever going to see him again.
00:13But if I'm ever going to lose my virginity,
00:15I have to keep putting myself out there.
00:17Oh!
00:18BDSM and bondage is sexy AF.
00:20I need to meet a man with ropes and a flogger.
00:24We must have gotten all the girls.
00:26Come on.
00:27It's tough even thinking about telling her about living
00:29with my parents or that I'm a virgin.
00:31She's going to take it as a red flag.
00:32I would like to see you again, Alex.
00:33Sweet.
00:34I don't want to mess it up.
00:36Everyone's just like, give him a chance.
00:38Give him a chance.
00:39I get annoyed when they're, like, pushing.
00:41Like, what about this guy?
00:42What about this guy?
00:42Do you think anyone's cute in here, Dan?
00:44I don't.
00:45Hey, boys.
00:46How old are you?
00:48Go have that conversation by yourself.
00:50Just leave me the hell alone.
00:52, like, come on, guys.
00:53I'll find someone when I find someone.
00:56Would you be open to a sexual surrogate?
00:59Someone trained to help people in a sexual capacity
01:03and just practice in a safe environment.
01:06Sexual surrogacy sounds like a prostitute.
01:09It can be all the way to intercourse.
01:12That's just not something I would ever want to do.
01:29All right, so I'm thinking this blue dress with my black sneakers.
01:35And it's cute to take selfies with.
01:37You know, and it situates the curves and whatnot.
01:40That is Mr. who we are going to be meeting today.
01:44Takes good pictures.
01:46Looks fun.
01:47I am going to the selfie showroom with a new guy named Jeremy.
01:52And this is only my second date.
01:54But I don't think I'm as scared or timid as I was for my first date.
01:58Are there any little things you're going to do to, like, try to even be sexier on your date?
02:02My imagination is huge.
02:04I always have a what-if in my mind.
02:08When I put my perfume on, you know, you got to get between the thighs.
02:11You know what I'm saying?
02:12Because you don't know where that head going to be at.
02:14You want your wind air to be right.
02:16Jeremy and I have been communicating online for maybe about a week.
02:32And he sounds open to trying new experiences.
02:35I don't know if I'm going to tell him I'm a virgin.
02:39I'm going to go with the flow and go with the vibe.
02:41And if I feel comfortable, I may tell him.
02:44Rasha.
02:45Hi.
02:46How are you?
02:47I'm good.
02:48How are you?
02:49I'm great.
02:50I'm great.
02:51You look good.
02:52You look good.
02:54All right.
02:55Aw.
02:56It's like, OK, he's cute, you know.
02:58I already knew the height difference, but that doesn't matter at all.
03:02I would probably like someone taller because I like the manly type, the rugged manly type.
03:08But he just, you know, he was cute.
03:10Like, aw.
03:11Welcome in.
03:12Hi.
03:13You got your phones on here?
03:14I do.
03:15I do.
03:16On her profile, Rasha seemed like a really nice person.
03:20Deep in that bag.
03:22I got it.
03:24She said that she was interested in exploring new things and open-minded.
03:29Just like I am.
03:30I'm an explorer.
03:31I like to try new things.
03:32And I think she's really cute.
03:34So this looks like it's going to be fun.
03:37All right.
03:38So let's go and see what we can see.
03:41Oh, so this is where everyone from social media comes, huh?
03:44Yes.
03:45Cool.
03:46When I read Jeremy's profile, he has his stuff together, which is important.
03:51Having his own place, his own car, and having a good job.
03:54Let's do this.
03:55But if I want to have sex with someone for the very first time, I need to have a spark and a connection.
04:00Definitely.
04:01Cheese.
04:02Cheese.
04:03Yes.
04:04I love that.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06Oh, man.
04:07I look so short.
04:08I look like a luchador without his mask.
04:10No.
04:11That's cute.
04:12Oh, my goodness.
04:13Jeremy, he's funny.
04:15And he's really going along with it.
04:21I like that.
04:22Yes.
04:23How about that?
04:24Good.
04:25That's cute.
04:26And we look cute together.
04:28We do.
04:29Next.
04:36That's cute.
04:37You know what I mean?
04:38That's cute.
04:39You're not looking for cute.
04:40You're not looking for cute.
04:41Come on.
04:43Come on.
04:44You know what this place reminds me of?
04:46Hmm?
04:47It kind of reminds me of like a BDSM dungeon where everything's all like play scenes and stuff.
04:57Like, what are the odds?
04:59We did not talk about BDSM in our messages at all.
05:02At all.
05:03We did not talk about anything sexual in our conversation.
05:06Hand to God.
05:07Hand to God.
05:08Hand to God.
05:09We did not talk about anything sexual.
05:12So for him to actually say that, I was just like, wow.
05:17Okay.
05:18So funny story.
05:19I just went to a place like that.
05:23Are you for real?
05:24Yes.
05:27Oh.
05:28Mm-hmm.
05:29Oh my God.
05:30He doesn't even know I'm a virgin.
05:32He's going to think I'm wild, but it's the complete opposite.
05:35It's been a few days since my first day with Andrea.
05:54And tonight she's coming by my house.
05:55And I'm feeling a little weird because I never brought a girl up in my room.
06:00Even if we didn't do anything, I never brought a girl up in my room.
06:04Okay.
06:05I did have to beg my parents to leave the house.
06:09Okay.
06:10That's good enough, I guess.
06:11All right.
06:12I've never made it this far with a girl before.
06:13And I don't really know what I'm expecting tonight.
06:15I do feel like I should have done a little bit more homework on how to, you know, get a girl,
06:22because I feel like maybe I could get a kiss.
06:24But I hope telling her the truth will end this dry spell.
06:28So, no.
06:29No.
06:30No.
06:31No.
06:32No.
06:33No.
06:34No.
06:35No.
06:36No.
06:37No.
06:38No.
06:39No.
06:40No.
06:41No.
06:42No.
06:43No.
06:44No.
06:45No.
06:48No.
06:49Hi, so good to see you.
06:50Can I come in?
06:51Of course, of course, of course.
06:52It's freezing.
06:53I know, I know.
06:54Let us know.
06:55Can I take a jacket for you?
06:57Alright.
06:58I'm going to set it right here.
06:59That okay?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Of course.
07:02It's perfect, right next to your pup.
07:03Yeah.
07:04So, that's Sophie.
07:05That's lovely.
07:06And your place is so sweet and cozy.
07:08Thank you, thank you, yeah.
07:09Wow, yeah.
07:10Okay.
07:11That's awesome.
07:12I love that this house is filled with your family I could tell that that's
07:16really important to you yeah so let's go over here here we go I wasn't always up
07:27here so let's just say that for now this wasn't this was not my original room oh
07:35oh my gosh I totally forgot I was there I've been stuck on the same month for
07:42you seem to like brunettes I see the pattern yeah I am completely embarrassed first off I
07:53forgot that was there and second of all it's stuck on one month so like that's even more
07:58embarrassing that I don't flip the page there's a guitar over there that I don't play
08:04you don't so I have a good time I'm trying oh you're trying okay well I mean I shouldn't say
08:10I'm trying because I really am not putting a lot effort into it it's very frustrating
08:14and hurts my freaking fingers but yeah this is um cool this is my bedroom you can have a seat
08:22you can sit here or chair doesn't matter oh I I don't have a preference I mean I'll sit here
08:28next to you yeah all right awesome oh okay
08:31having a girl not just in my room but on my bed I'm I'm just it's weird and I'm nervous
08:43just so this is my childhood home yeah I want to complain to Andrea about still being a virgin
08:56and living at home with my parents but I'm just really nervous because I don't want her to
09:02be turned off by it and just want to leave I don't want to send her running for the hills
09:07um I don't live here by myself so I actually live with my parents
09:17oh wow I do um so yeah I mean it's God's births but which is kind of why I never really dated anybody
09:31there's certain things around that that I don't have as much experience as a lot of
09:39guys so I don't know if that's if you kind of understand that
09:44I don't know what do you mean like telling you more detail I'm I'm a little confused
09:56um needless to say like I just I've never really had sex with a woman
10:07are you ready yeah okay don't look so nervous it's just cold water I think Alex is very athletic
10:19and attractive with his shirt off this is someone that I actually could see myself wanting to talk
10:25to but is he gonna run away when he finds out that I don't have sexual experience you're gonna have
10:31to make some changes and tolerate some risk and some vulnerability I am honestly taken aback when
10:37Kimberly mentions meeting with a sex surrogate that's just jaw-dropping to me
10:49hi Dan I'm here to get signed in have you plunged with us before I have not I've never actually
11:04plunged ever oh my gosh at this point all of my friends think that I'm too concentrated on fighting
11:11Mr. Perfect they don't feel like I'm really giving people the chance that they deserve I'm realizing I
11:17just need to like get my ass in gear and like start to make happen for myself because I don't
11:23want to be alone forever I don't want to not have sex forever so today I'm gonna do this icebreaker
11:28speed dating event and I think going into a situation where there's multiple people I think it'll allow
11:35me to really see who I click with see who I vibe with and it's just more options rather than just like
11:41here's the person on the table for you see if you fit and maybe I do find somebody I want to have a
11:47sexual experience with
11:48I'm looking around and I'm seeing a lot of people that might not be my vibe but then there is one guy
12:13he's super cute super tall but I never approach guys if I find someone that I think is super hot
12:22I'll mention it to my friends and sometimes we'll try to find a way to go over there but I would never
12:29actively approach them so your seduction method is just proximity my seduction method is proximity
12:35what's your name? Deanne. Deanne? Nice to meet you. Alex, nice to meet you as well. Where are you from, Deanne? Connecticut. Where are you from? Connecticut. I'm from Canada. I'm like all that far from where you're from. East Coast, Canada.
12:49Oh yeah. Alex feels very much like he's comfortable in this situation. You want to get this ace back? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. That like quiet confidence without being cocky is just attractive to me because he's making me feel very comfortable. So him being attractive along with it being a comfortable scenario feels like something I haven't felt yet. This is going to be terrifying.
13:17I'm just going to go grab my bag quick. Okay. This event is completely out of the blue for me. It's something that I just took a leap of faith on.
13:25I almost pulled out three times this morning before even arriving. When I walked in right away I noticed Deanne. She was kind of glowing. She looked very pretty. She's definitely my type. I'm definitely into shorter girls, brunettes. She has a very nice smile. I'd really like to get to know her some more.
13:41Are you ready? Yeah. Let's do it. Are you guys ready to take the plunge? I guess so. Don't look so nervous. It's just cold.
13:47It's cold water. Okay. So we have our icebreaker questions in the tub.
13:51I think Alex is very athletic and attractive with his shirt off. This is someone that I actually could see myself wanting to talk to.
13:59Want me to go in first?
14:01But now what becomes the issue is, is he going to run away when he finds out that I don't have sexual experience?
14:13Hello.
14:17You know what this place reminds me of? Like a BDSM dungeon.
14:26Okay, so funny story. I just went to a place like that.
14:31Are you for real?
14:32Yes.
14:33Funny story. I've been a lifestyle for about 15 years.
14:36Wow. Listen. Yeah. Listen.
14:43Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
14:45That's real. Like, oh, my God. I was like, okay. Jeremy? It was crazy.
14:52Spanking's my fetish. Role playing.
14:56What?
14:56Yeah.
14:57We have much to discuss, my friend.
14:59Oh, Lord. Young lady. Yes, we do.
15:01We did not talk about BDSM in our messages at all.
15:05And is there anything in his profile that hints at that?
15:10Let me check. Okay.
15:11I've never been married, no kids.
15:13Live alone. Good credit.
15:15Open-minded. Non-vanilla.
15:18There you go.
15:18That's a little indication, but nothing in that profile would scream BDSM.
15:23He does not have it on there.
15:27Wow.
15:28Yes, yes.
15:29What are the odds? Like, for real, for real.
15:33I tried the, it begins with the F, like the little tassel thingy.
15:38Flogger.
15:39Flogger. There we go.
15:40I tried that.
15:41Interesting.
15:42And I was tied up, hanging from something, and it was cool.
15:47Yes, yes. Definitely new experience.
15:51It is.
15:52Yeah?
15:53Rush opening up to me was just like, okay, good.
15:56Because I do get judged by people when I say, yeah, I like to spank girls in a hot, fun, sexy way.
16:04Look at that.
16:06Boy.
16:06Yay.
16:07Make it rain.
16:09And now, like, I could have a chance to be myself.
16:13Oh, like, just, like, see.
16:18All right.
16:19There we go. Yes, yes, yes.
16:21I think sharing a common interest did set the vibe from friendly to flirty.
16:28It's your turn. Take a seat, young lady.
16:30Yes.
16:31When he calls me young lady, it's sexy.
16:33And it's new, but I like it.
16:37The room that makes you just scream red.
16:40Yes.
16:40Yes.
16:41Did you have fun at the club?
16:44It was a learned experience. I mean, I liked it.
16:46Oh, okay. All right.
16:47So I'm just going to tell you my other secrets.
16:52So one of my secrets is that I am actually still a virgin.
17:01Wow.
17:09That is amazing.
17:10Mm.
17:11I decided to be open and honest up front because I want him to have a choice if he's not into that, you know?
17:19Awesome. All right.
17:21Um, I don't have a problem with it.
17:24I mean, I like sex, but, like, sex isn't, like, the main thing for me.
17:27I just have to be careful of how I'm going to approach this if she's going to be taking the initiative into BDSM.
17:38I'm going to communicate with her.
17:40I'm going to make sure I respect her boundaries if this is the route that she wants to go.
17:45I'm not going to force anything that I'm into on anybody.
17:49I'm always going to be up front to tell them what I like.
17:52And if they're curious, want to, like, continue, whatever, I'll even show you how I spank naughty little girls like you, young lady.
18:01Oh, okay.
18:04Oh, okay?
18:05Okay.
18:06Do you think this is funny?
18:11I mean, it's, um, it's a learning process, but I mean, like...
18:22You're going to have to make some changes and tolerate some risk and some vulnerability.
18:43This is new stuff.
18:44Mm-hmm.
18:44The sexual surrogate would work with you around overcoming some of your anxieties and aversions.
18:52I am honestly so shocked and taken aback when Kimberly mentions meeting with a sex surrogate.
19:02That's just jaw-dropping to me.
19:05What's nice about working with a sexual surrogate is that we all work together as a team and there's a collaboration to adjust the pace and check in with you about your comfort and that things are moving in a direction that you feel safe.
19:25I don't know.
19:26Like, I've been a certain way for so long.
19:28It's tough.
19:29Sonali is resistant and suspicious, which is understandable, but I think working with a sexual surrogate, it's worth trying because if she's receptive, maybe it could unlock something and help her overcome some of her sexual barriers.
19:47It could help facilitate a meeting or give you more information about that.
19:57I'm open to it.
19:58Okay.
19:59I do believe teamwork makes the dream work.
20:01That's right.
20:02I do believe it takes a village.
20:04That's right.
20:05I can't believe I'm going to do this, but Kimberly assures me it will be very professional and that I will be the one in control.
20:12I'm still very nervous, but if I want to get any closer to losing my virginity, I need to try something new and completely out of my comfort zone.
20:21I think your prognosis is pretty good.
20:24This is your problem.
20:29Now, I want to see some toys.
20:31Oh, you want to see some toys?
20:32Ooh.
20:33Ooh.
20:34Jeremy's a pro at spanking.
20:36Let's spin the meat here.
20:37Oh, the sweet meat.
20:38And I want to experience this.
20:40I'm like, okay, let's go.
20:41Woo-hoo!
20:42Woo-hoo!
20:43Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:44Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:45Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:46Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:47Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:48Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:49Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:50Woo-hoo-hoo!
20:51Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
20:52Um...
20:53Needless to say, like, I just, I've never really had sex with a woman.
20:57Wow.
20:58But I'm, it's, it's rough.
21:01Most people go to college and they hook up all the time.
21:04I didn't want to do that.
21:05Um...
21:06I wanted that real connection.
21:07Everybody has their quirks.
21:08Yes.
21:09This specific piece isn't anything to feel ashamed of.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Or to feel like you have to hide.
21:14I appreciate the courage that took to, to share despite, you know, maybe feeling some nerves around it.
21:30I am surprised, honestly.
21:34I remember when I was a virgin and I remember how scary it was to proceed in the world and feel like I was behind also at my age when I had sex.
21:43Can I give you a hug?
21:44Of course.
21:47It's really a sore spot for some people.
21:49So I, I really understand him and have compassion for him.
21:55You're an awesome person.
21:56I mean, I, I'm, the connection is there and I trust you.
22:00I'm really hoping we can meet up again.
22:05I think this is gonna go pretty good.
22:09I mean, I don't know if you're feeling the same way.
22:13Let's see if we can, uh, support each other and...
22:16100%.
22:17And, um, let's make it happen.
22:19I'd love to see you again, Alex.
22:21All right.
22:23I opened up to her about living at home and being a virgin and then, and she accepted it.
22:29I feel the connection and I feel like the vibe is right.
22:32I feel like she's telling me, hey, laying one on me.
22:36So I feel like this is the perfect time to go for a kiss.
22:39Thanks for bringing me to, uh, your place and...
22:42Of course. Thank you for hanging...
22:43Bringing me into your world.
22:44I really like you a lot.
22:50You're so sweet.
22:51Thanks, Alex.
22:53Likewise.
22:54Please.
23:07I so appreciate that you want to kiss me.
23:11Aww.
23:12And...
23:13I want us to continue knowing and learning about each other before we hit that level of romance.
23:19Can you be a little bit more patient?
23:22I guess so.
23:24You know what?
23:25What's up?
23:26The best things are worth waiting for.
23:28You are absolutely worth waiting for.
23:35Get rejected from a kiss?
23:38Sucks.
23:39I mean, who wouldn't feel bad about it?
23:44Have a wonderful night.
23:45Alrighty.
23:47Take care, okay, Alex?
23:48Get home safe, please.
23:49It makes me feel embarrassed.
23:51Do I know what I'm doing?
23:53Was it the right time?
23:54Was it...
23:55How was it the wrong time?
23:59I'm overthinking things, but now I don't know what to think.
24:02If I can't even get a girl to kiss me, am I ever going to lose my virginity?
24:06Okay, so we have our icebreaker questions in the tub.
24:07I'm gonna answer this.
24:08Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
24:13Celebrity, someone you admire?
24:14Can you bring back from the dead as a dinner guest?
24:15Yeah, sure.
24:16Probably my grandmother.
24:17Oh, that's cute.
24:18Okay, wait, okay.
24:19If you could live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of the 30-year-old to
24:22the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
24:23The mind.
24:24I feel like it'd be pretty miserable to get up there and just look good, you know?
24:25That's true.
24:26That's true.
24:27I feel like it'd be pretty miserable to get up there and just look good, you know?
24:28That's true.
24:29Okay, so we have our icebreaker questions in the tub.
24:30I'm gonna answer this.
24:31Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
24:34Yeah.
24:35Celebrity, someone you admire?
24:36Can you bring back from the dead as a dinner guest?
24:37Yeah, sure.
24:38Probably my grandmother.
24:39Oh, that's cute.
24:40Okay, wait, okay.
24:41If you could live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of the 30-year-olds
24:45in the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
24:49The mind.
24:50I feel like it'd be pretty miserable to get up there and just look good, you know?
24:53That's true.
24:54This ice bath is so cold.
24:55I'm so freezing.
24:56I just want to get out, and Alex is just chilling, and his confidence is very attractive
25:02to me.
25:03You want to get out?
25:04You survived.
25:05Nice.
25:06You want to get in the sauna?
25:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:08All right.
25:09I'm feeling chemistry with Deanne for sure.
25:11There is definitely attraction.
25:12Aside from the abs, what do you normally do to meet people?
25:15I don't.
25:16I just don't.
25:17I do not put myself out there at all.
25:20Now that I'm finally feeling some type of excitement about a guy, I like that feeling.
25:26I feel like I would do the ice bath again for sure.
25:28Yeah.
25:29No, I really like getting to know you.
25:30You want to get coffee more casually or go to the beach?
25:33I don't drink coffee, but we can go to the beach.
25:34Go to the beach?
25:35Okay, yeah.
25:36That's a plan, then.
25:41Lord.
25:42Okay.
25:43This is the first time that I'm actually wanting to go on a second date.
25:47I'm happy about it.
25:48And I'm hoping that this could develop into something more.
25:53Oh, nice to meet you, too.
25:54See you again.
25:55Yeah.
25:56See you.
25:57Bye-bye.
26:01Have a seat.
26:02Wayne is absolutely not what I was expecting.
26:04Nice to meet you.
26:05Is it okay if I shake your hand?
26:06Yes, it's fine.
26:07I was actually expecting a tall, muscular bodybuilder who hovered over me.
26:12We would work through physical intimacy.
26:14When I say physical intimacy, I mean, like, whatever.
26:16Sex.
26:31Come in.
26:32Hi.
26:35Hey.
26:36Welcome.
26:37How are you?
26:38Hi.
26:39Can I say trip right here?
26:40Yes.
26:41All right.
26:42Thank you for coming.
26:43Yeah, I'm excited.
26:44All right.
26:45On my last date with Jeremy, the vibe went from friendly to flirty after we found out that
26:52we both are into BDSM.
26:55What does that mean, BDSM?
26:57BDSM?
26:58Honestly and truly BDSM means like just tying up and spanking and like people that like
27:03pain.
27:04So D is for?
27:06Booty.
27:07D is for?
27:08D is .
27:11S is sex and M is moaning.
27:15I don't really know.
27:18I don't know.
27:19I'm just making it up.
27:20But I'm hoping I experience all those things.
27:24So I think we're done.
27:26Yay.
27:27I think we have dinner.
27:29Yay.
27:30I'm excited.
27:31A man has never invited me over or cooked for me before.
27:35So it's very nice because like Big Purr is trying to get fed.
27:42You're wild.
27:44Alrighty.
27:46Big Purr is my vagina.
27:48Wow.
27:49You're welcome.
27:50You're welcome.
27:51Remember that movie with the plant with the big mouth that said feed me?
28:00I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about Jeremy.
28:01We still need to have more conversation and that will help me see if there is a spark.
28:13If he's the one that I want to lose my virginity to.
28:15Oh.
28:16Mmm.
28:17Mmm.
28:18Mmm.
28:19Mmm.
28:20Mmm.
28:21Mmm.
28:22Mmm.
28:23Mmm.
28:24It's awkward.
28:25Yeah.
28:26This dinner was awkward.
28:28Wow.
28:29I mean like this is only my third date that I've been on in my life so I definitely need
28:40more practice dating.
28:41Flirting part, I don't think I got flirting all the way down.
28:45How do you flirt?
28:46Blink.
28:47Is that how you wink?
28:48I can't wink.
28:49I like your meat.
28:50Oh, you like my meat?
28:51Mmm-hmm.
28:52Young lady, are you having a dirty mind here at the dinner table while we're trying to eat
28:58the dinner?
28:59This is good.
29:00You're making me blush.
29:01Mmm-hmm.
29:02I bet.
29:03Usually I'm the one that makes cheeks blush in this house.
29:05Mmm.
29:06Mmm.
29:07You're blushing right now.
29:08Me?
29:09Yeah.
29:10Oh, wow.
29:11I think Rasha's really cute and things are getting a little flirty with our conversation,
29:18so I had to go ahead and address that to her.
29:22Maybe I'll make some other things.
29:24I'll make some other things.
29:25You're trying to eat the dinner.
29:26You're making me blush.
29:27Mm-hmm.
29:28I bet.
29:29Usually I'm the one that makes cheeks blush in this house.
29:30You're blushing right now.
29:31Me?
29:32Yeah.
29:33Oh, wow.
29:34I think Rasha's really cute and things are getting a little flirty with our conversation,
29:35so I had to go ahead and address that to her.
29:40Maybe I'll make some other cheeks red later.
29:48Okay.
29:49Mm-hmm.
29:50Initially, I am feeling kind of shy, but then I'm like, no, why am I feeling shy?
29:58Do you think you would let Jeremy spank you first or kiss you first?
30:01I think I would let Jeremy spank before kiss.
30:07Really?
30:08Yeah, because I feel like, you know, spanking, the spanking, I feel, is like fun and kissing,
30:15I feel, is more intimate.
30:17It is something that, you know, healthily, I would like to explore.
30:21Oh, yeah?
30:25Jeremy's a pro at spanking, and I want to experience it, so I'm like, okay, let's go.
30:29Spank my booty.
30:32Now, I want to see some toys.
30:35Oh, you want to see some toys?
30:37Mm-hmm.
30:38Yeah.
30:39Show and tell.
30:40Yeah.
30:41Yeah.
30:42It's always cool that anyone who's going out of their way to discover themselves to find somebody to help them with their path.
30:51I'm gonna go ahead and show you what treasures I have.
30:54Okay.
30:55But she's still a virgin, so I want to make sure there's clear communication, and I just want to take things slowly.
31:03Ooh.
31:04Wow.
31:05Yeah.
31:06This right here is a fanny favorite.
31:08Fire hose.
31:09Fire hose.
31:10Wow.
31:11Yeah, you're gonna feel it, all right.
31:13And this right here.
31:17Hmm.
31:18Oh!
31:20Ready.
31:21All righty.
31:22Let's see.
31:23That ain't nothing.
31:27Mm-mm-mm.
31:28Okay, one more.
31:29One more?
31:30Why are, like, in the meat area?
31:32Oh, the sweet meat.
31:34There?
31:35Yeah, okay.
31:36Yeah, okay.
31:37I...
31:38Hello?
31:39I saw this thing.
31:41That hurt.
31:43I do want to be spanked.
31:46But, yeah, I don't want to get my skin ripped off my ass.
31:50It was that bad.
31:52Old horse riding crop, you know?
31:55Usually it takes people who never tried it a little while to warm up.
32:00All righty.
32:01But Rasha was really excited and jumped right into it.
32:04All righty.
32:06Woo-hoo!
32:08Woo-hoo-hoo!
32:10Ow!
32:11So, I'm just excited to see where it goes.
32:15You're good?
32:16Yeah.
32:17I'm good.
32:18You're good?
32:19Yeah, I'm good.
32:20All righty.
32:21Wow, that was interesting.
32:22Okay.
32:23Thank you for sharing.
32:24Yes.
32:25Nice.
32:26The spanking part was the best part.
32:27And I could see me taking some things from it and having, like, a fun night.
32:31But I think that with Jeremy, it didn't feel as sexy as it looks in porn.
32:38It feels like more friendship and playful.
32:41I'm glad that you was curious about it and wanted to at least explore.
32:46Wow.
32:47Okay.
32:49Yeah, you're welcome.
32:50So you could be spanked by someone, but it was hard to have an intimate connection.
32:54I think it was just Jeremy as to why the intimacy, like, mentally wasn't there.
33:00Watching porn, the guys are, like, dominant.
33:03And, like, they take what they want kind of thing.
33:05And, like, they're just, like, powerful.
33:08And I don't feel that from Jeremy.
33:11I'm not really sexually attracted to him.
33:14Nice collection.
33:17Wow.
33:18Interesting.
33:29At first, when Kimberly mentioned that I should talk to a sex surrogate, I felt really uneasy.
33:37A sex surrogate?
33:38Like, I did not even know such a title existed.
33:40I've heard of maternal and motherly surrogates.
33:43But, um, the more I think about it, I actually feel better about it.
33:46Because he's a professional.
33:48And I have control.
33:49I'm the client.
33:50Come in.
33:52Have a seat.
33:53Hello.
33:54Hello, Sonali.
33:55Nice to meet you.
33:56Can I shake a hand?
33:57Yes.
33:58It's fine.
33:59Wayne is a colleague of mine.
34:01Uh-huh.
34:02He's an intimacy coach, intimacy partner.
34:04I brought him here today to introduce you in the hopes that you two can do some work together
34:11over the next weeks and that he can help you overcome some of your barriers and discomfort.
34:18Intimacy partner is where you get the benefits of a relationship without feeling unsafe or uncomfortable.
34:25Basically, I come in and I help people around sexual trauma, sexual performance, intimacy issues with others, and intimate issues with self.
34:34What brings you here now?
34:36I want companionship and love.
34:41Sex is a part of that.
34:44In working together with me, we would work through you feeling comfortable and feeling relaxed, and then we would kind of move into physical intimacy.
34:51When I say physical intimacy, I mean, like, whatever is comfortable for you.
34:55I'm open to it, but, like, I am who I am.
35:00I just...
35:01I understand that.
35:03Wayne was absolutely not what I was expecting.
35:06I was actually expecting a tall, muscular bodybuilder who hovered over me.
35:11Come on in.
35:12Hello, Sonali.
35:13Welcome to my humble abode.
35:15Meeting him in Kimberly's office was one thing, but then he came to my home.
35:20Is this good?
35:21Yes, it's perfect.
35:22Perfect.
35:23I've never had a boy in my house before.
35:29What is your comfort level with me?
35:30If I didn't feel comfortable, I would have left.
35:33I'm not here to change you, sway your thought process in many ways.
35:37I might help you be comfortable with you.
35:40I respect and hear what you're saying, but I'm 37.
35:44You know, I've been like this for so long, so this is how I am.
35:47I've accepted that.
35:48I just want to be happy.
35:49Yeah.
35:55The sessions with Wayne have been interesting.
35:58A lot of dialogue consisting of a lot of debate.
36:01We have different perspectives on a lot of different topics.
36:06Hello.
36:07Hello, Sonali.
36:08How are you doing today?
36:09I'm good.
36:11Have a seat, please.
36:12There has not been any touching yet, which I do appreciate.
36:15But now I feel these sessions are laying the groundwork for a more in-depth session, perhaps exploring touch.
36:24I am simultaneously excited and nervous.
36:33I'm scared.
36:34I want to check in with you at the last session.
36:35I know you said it was a little intense, so just kind of seeing where you are today, how you're feeling, you know, about just seeing our interactions so far.
36:42It's scary.
36:43This whole journey has been scary.
36:44It's been jaw-dropping and very mind-foggling.
36:52What would you say your goal is at the end of all of this?
36:55Well, I am human.
36:56Mm-hmm.
36:57What human doesn't want?
36:58Companionship and love.
36:59Mm-hmm.
37:00So your journey is around companionship.
37:02Mm-hmm.
37:03What about being more comfortable with yourself around sex, sexuality?
37:06Like, I'm open to change, but, like, change doesn't happen overnight, right?
37:09Like, I've been a certain way for so long, and then you and I have only met a couple times, which I'm glad we did connect.
37:15But even you've said in our previous conversations, you want to plant a seed in my mind and then let that germinate.
37:22Yeah.
37:23So far, the sessions have been a little difficult.
37:25I believe some of Sonali's biggest barriers are just this narrative that she's created around herself.
37:30Because she has this fear around men, around men's touch, I really wanted her to understand that she can receive all the things that she wants for herself, through herself.
37:39What I'm here for you is to help you become more comfortable with yourself.
37:43And we talk about, like, why haven't you ever touched yourself?
37:46And, you know, a lot of times...
37:48What's this?
37:49Speaking in a more sensual way, in a more pleasurable way, right?
37:52I just touched myself here.
37:54Are you happy now?
37:55Right?
37:57It sounds so foreign to you.
37:59Yeah.
38:00And it's something also that I feel like is so uncomfortable for you as well, the idea of touching yourself.
38:05If I hear the word masturbation, I cringe.
38:08I don't question people who do the M word.
38:10I would hope that Wayne would also respect me for my choices in life.
38:14I really don't.
38:15Like, I really don't crave sex or I don't have cravings or urges or anything.
38:20And I know this.
38:21Even though Indian people created the Kama Sutra.
38:23Right, right.
38:24And that's why I want to...
38:25Those are parts I want to lean into for you.
38:26Those are parts that are so...
38:27Yeah.
38:28The uncomfortable parts of you that even talk about it because you haven't grown up that
38:31way.
38:32Yeah.
38:33So as an adult...
38:34Is that my fault?
38:35It's not.
38:36It's not.
38:37You get to change that.
38:38Sonali is very uncomfortable right now.
38:39That concept is so hard for her to understand because she's never learned what touch could
38:42be like for her.
38:43What is the...
38:44What's the worst thing that could happen if you tried to...
38:46I don't know.
38:47Okay.
38:48This is something that you can do for yourself.
38:50Okay.
38:51Thank you for the information.
38:52By yourself.
38:53I am starting to feel annoyed by Wayne even if that's not his intention because he keeps
38:58bugging me about touching myself.
39:00It's just not something I want to do.
39:02It goes against my personal values.
39:04Plus the guy leaders are super painful so why would my fingers be any different?
39:08I truly do want to help empower you.
39:12You'll make a meal for yourself creating ambiance for yourself.
39:16Maybe be some candles or some mood music or whatever it is to really start to help you
39:20relax yourself right?
39:21And be in your body and not be in your head right?
39:23And then you can test it out and see what it feels like for yourself.
39:26Whatever that looks like.
39:27Right?
39:28I know it's uncomfortable.
39:30I am starting to get really overwhelmed.
39:33I just want to get out of here.
39:35We're going around in circles.
39:36Where is this going here?
39:38Like...
39:39I really...
39:40Because I...
39:41I get it.
39:42We're just going around in circles really.
39:43Right.
39:44Because when I say something to you...
39:45Because you are different genders.
39:46We're different cultures.
39:47Right.
39:48And then I have both cultures being thrown at me right?
39:49Like even at 37.
39:51I can't help it.
39:52This is who I am.
39:53I just...
39:54This is different.
39:55You wouldn't understand.
39:56We're just going back and forth.
39:57Like there's no solution right?
39:58I've had enough.
40:17It's been a few days since the last time I saw Andrea.
40:20And I've been playing it back in my head multiple times.
40:24The conversation we had.
40:25The connection we had.
40:26The hand touching.
40:27And then...
40:28Getting denied a kiss.
40:30At the end.
40:31It's just confusing.
40:33Like...
40:34What did I do wrong?
40:35Because we've been texting back and forth.
40:37Here and there.
40:38Just because...
40:39She doesn't live close by.
40:41But we decided to catch up properly over a video call.
40:46I've been overthinking a lot.
40:47And I feel like when I see her.
40:49And hear her voice.
40:50That is probably going to like go away.
40:52I just want to see her.
40:54Hey.
40:55Hey.
40:56How's it going?
40:57It's going so good.
40:58Oh.
40:59Surprisingly, I've got energy this morning.
41:00Despite being up really late.
41:01Yeah, my...
41:02How have you been?
41:03I've been pretty good.
41:04Just busy.
41:05You know, with work.
41:06And it's been hectic.
41:07Now that it's Saturday.
41:08You know.
41:09It's a little easier today.
41:10And I wanted to jump on.
41:11And talk with you a little bit.
41:12Okay.
41:13To be really transparent and honest with you.
41:14So...
41:15I'll be going out of the country.
41:16I'll be actually traveling to Egypt for like a month and a half.
41:17Oh.
41:18But what I was thinking in terms of our connection.
41:19I want us to continue cultivating a friendship.
41:20And it's been hectic.
41:21It's been hectic.
41:22It's been hectic.
41:23Now that it's Saturday.
41:24You know.
41:25It's a little easier today.
41:26And I wanted to jump on.
41:27And talk with you a little bit.
41:28Okay.
41:29To be really transparent and honest with you.
41:30Okay.
41:31So...
41:32I'll be going out of the country.
41:34I'll be actually traveling to Egypt for like a month and a half.
41:37Oh.
41:38But what I was thinking in terms of our connection.
41:42I want us to continue cultivating a friendship.
41:48I'm going to be out and about for a lot of time.
41:51Mm-hmm.
41:52And I'm not sure when we're going to be able to see each other back here in the city.
42:01Um.
42:02It stinks that you're leaving soon.
42:05But I'd rather keep you as a friend than lose you like in general.
42:10So I would love to keep in touch.
42:12Hopefully down the road meet up and hang out.
42:15That makes me so happy to hear that we're on the same page.
42:18If I don't hear from you or we don't have a chance to talk.
42:22I'm sending a hug your way.
42:24Me as well.
42:25Take care.
42:26Bye Alex.
42:27Bye.
42:28Bye.
42:45How are you feeling right now?
42:47Bye.
42:55Oh no.
42:57I mean...
42:59A little hurt.
43:01I opened up to her, I told her that I live at home with my parents still and that I was
43:12still a virgin.
43:13It's like, is that the real issue?
43:17You just don't want to come out and say it and be rude about it?
43:20Is it me?
43:21Like, am I doing something wrong?
43:25It's been like 10 plus years since I had a date.
43:33And like I finally get the courage enough to find somebody, make that connection, and
43:40then get friend-zone.
43:42Like, it makes me not want to try.
43:47Because like, what's the point?
43:49Next time the same situation happens, who knows?
43:52Hey, I want to be friends.
44:01Welcome to Updating!
44:04Give it up for Deanne.
44:07Deanne.
44:09What brings you here?
44:10I don't know, I've just been single my whole life.
44:12Oh, so have you ever...
44:15I need to leave this stage right now.
44:18No.
44:19How old are you?
44:2035.
44:22I want you to practice increasing your intimacy.
44:27Not just with partners, but also your friends.
44:31I'm going to, um, a special resort.
44:35What's a special resort?
44:38It's an adult resort.
44:40What I think happens at adult resorts is everybody just having sex with everyone.
44:45We are here!
44:46I'm ready!
44:47I'm ready!
44:48I am going to be bold and see what happens.
44:52Kiss me, William.
44:54I feel like she kind of friend-zoned me.
44:57Then she friend-zoned you!
44:58Okay!
44:59Next one's out there.
45:00Great!
45:01I gotta learn from my mistakes.
45:02I will keep trying.
45:03Oh.
45:04I'm just really...
45:05She just texted me.
45:06Oh, good.
45:07I feel like losing your virginity is supposed to be a connection.
45:10I want to experience that.
45:12I mean, it's not an easy thing to accomplish.
45:14She's here.
45:16What does he want me to say?
45:17Like, I have values and virtues to say.
45:19I'm just trying to understand and maybe give you a different perspective.
45:23It is hard to imagine myself in any other way.
45:26But if I were to quit, I would wonder what could have happened.
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