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00:00This was the picture when he confessed to killing my mother.
00:16He is a monster who took his grandmother's life.
00:18Her vulnerability was him.
00:23And now her life is gone.
00:25Where he's going to go?
00:26Straight to hell.
00:29No doubt about it.
00:40I didn't just lose my mom, but I lost a son over nothing.
00:48He's never said, well, I didn't mean for this to happen.
00:52It just makes me wonder what really happened.
00:55I'm interested to see what he has to say about the night.
00:58When I clearly asked repeatedly, what happened?
01:03And I begged him to tell the truth.
01:06Will he tell me the truth?
01:08That's a good question.
01:09He killed our grandmother.
01:18He doesn't really show any remorse for it.
01:21He doesn't feel sympathy for the person he did it to either.
01:25He's not talked about the crime whatsoever.
01:27He's never mentioned it once.
01:29I want to know, like, why he did it.
01:32Honestly, she didn't even see it coming.
01:38As soon as I came through the doorway, I just shot her.
01:51I remember watching her body just kind of jerk a little bit.
01:55That was me being heartless, me just not caring, me being emotional-less.
02:02The last thing she saw was she was watching some show like this.
02:07Like, she was real big into true crime.
02:10And it was strange.
02:11It's like, I'm watching this show growing up with you.
02:14I don't mean to sound rude or nothing or unemotional when I say this, but I can put you on the show.
02:21That it may be just how my brain works.
02:25Truly, at the end of the day, I may be cold-blooded.
02:51This is a picture of Josh when he was just a few months old.
03:14I'll never forget that I had this little bundle of joy as a single parent.
03:19And I can remember thinking about, what is he going to be when he grows up?
03:27Is he going to go into business?
03:28Is he going to become a doctor or a lawyer?
03:31Whatever would make him happy in life.
03:35I never once thought that I would be sitting here looking at a baby picture of my son
03:40and thinking that he's here in prison for murder.
03:49All the things you could have been doing and instead you're in prison for the rest of your life and a life is gone.
03:55When my mother and I had discussed me getting him back after I had gotten out of prison, she was like, get yourself together, get your car, get you a nice place.
04:23And then I would take over.
04:27But to be honest, at the time I was like, well, he has the best of everything.
04:33He has my mom. He has my dad.
04:35I had a wonderful support system, so I just let it be after a while.
04:42The days that I had off from work, I would pick him up.
04:44I got him for the whole summers.
04:46I never missed sports activities, school activities.
04:50We were a little above the average income families.
04:56You say you want a pair of designer shoes.
04:58Well, you do what wear them all says and you get those designer shoes.
05:04Any sport he wanted to play, whatever activity, it didn't matter.
05:10You know, we were able to provide it.
05:14Josh was highly attached to her.
05:16He was very respectful, very smart.
05:20He was actually an even-keeled kid.
05:23Thinking back on things, I'm like, where did I go wrong?
05:28Where did my mom go wrong?
05:30What happened?
05:32And I felt guilty for the crimes that I did and not being there.
05:56I remember one day, I received a phone call from my dad.
06:02Stating that my grandfather's necklace was missing and that Josh was being accused of it.
06:10I get there and my dad immediately says, well, yeah, we found it in his belongings.
06:16I just looked at him and like, Josh, why would you even think to do this?
06:22You know, as much as we love you and do for you and this is the treatment that we get.
06:29What was the reasoning?
06:32I don't know.
06:32I'm not really sure.
06:36I got vague responses.
06:41And that was all I got.
06:46I made him apologize.
06:47I made him write a letter.
06:48I put him on punishment and there wasn't going to be no going out, no friends coming over.
06:56At that time, my train of thought with that situation, with the stealing of the necklace, maybe it's just a one-off.
07:05He was raised to know right from wrong and he just absolutely refuses to do the right thing.
07:11In that instance, the only thing that was going through my mind was, I can't trust him.
07:17You know, is he going to get any better?
07:20Is this going to escalate?
07:21Josh was around 14 or 15.
07:40He didn't have any license and he didn't have his driver's permit.
07:43I was furious.
07:47I said, we're giving you the best of everything and you're constantly getting into trouble.
07:52And like I said, there wasn't too many answers I was getting.
07:56I just did not understand why, you know, what is going on.
08:05You've gone from petty stealing to taking vehicles.
08:10That's car theft.
08:14He started associating with a much rougher crowd.
08:17The ones that were getting kicked out of school, breaking and entering, stealing vehicles.
08:24I told my mother, I don't know what else to do, mom.
08:30He's escalating.
08:36This is a prepaid call from an inmate at Birdie Correctional Institution.
08:41This call will be monitored and recorded.
08:44How do you get to the point where you commit this horrible crime against your grandmother?
08:54I can remember when this picture was taken is when his little brother was born.
09:22There is a 13-year gap in my kid's age.
09:26Kevin's and Josh's bond was strong.
09:29I can remember him changing diapers, giving him baths and playing with him.
09:38One throws it away and the other does so many wonderful things with his opportunity.
09:42Like, where did I go wrong?
09:44That's how I feel when I see pictures of them younger and like, where did I go wrong with this one?
09:52This one's doing so well with this one.
09:54That's like my bad apple.
09:56This is younger Josh.
10:00Two sides of a coin right there.
10:02Got the cool, calm, collected side and then you've got the other side of the coin.
10:07He's got all these other temptations trying to get to him and he let them succeed, unfortunately.
10:12You know, taking credit cards, taking some money.
10:19Always got in trouble.
10:19You know who came to the rescue?
10:20Grandma.
10:23What I saw first was the pain that he brought to my mom and my grandma.
10:31I mean, when I saw the damage he had done, that's when I started to understand.
10:36I started associating with, hey, mom and grandma are crying.
10:41What did Josh do?
10:43You have someone who just, I don't know, wants to commit crime and do horrible things.
10:57I am talking to Josh.
11:06I told him that, have you not stopped to think that this girl could have died?
11:11That would have been on your hand.
11:14What did you even give her?
11:15I don't know.
11:18I can remember specifically asking, what the hell is wrong with you?
11:23Why, why?
11:24I'm not understanding.
11:27I have no idea what he was thinking when he'd done what he did.
11:33And I told him eventually somebody's life is going to be lost before this is all said and done.
11:38You know, do you not want to change?
11:40And he said, well, yeah, I want a career.
11:42I want this.
11:43I said, well, you're killing your chances to have something.
11:46I said, because who's going to hire a felon?
11:49You go from petty thieving to basically stealing cars, somebody overdosing, something's going to happen.
11:58And there's going to be consequences.
12:10I said, well, I don't know.
12:12My mother finally had to call the police on Josh.
12:16He tried to pawn her TVs, her jewelry, and a few other things.
12:21I distinctly remember telling him, you know, that this is not acceptable.
12:30You're out of control.
12:31What is going on?
12:33You know, what do we need to do to help?
12:35And I don't know, Mom.
12:40And that's basically all I was really getting.
12:43I wanted him to go to jail because he needed to be put in juvenile hall to see,
12:48this is what really happens.
12:49This is not, this is not playtime.
12:52Josh was on a house arrest for this incident with an ankle monitor on.
12:58He never changed.
12:59He never stopped.
13:05There were instances where he got house arrest multiple times.
13:16Or if he even went to jail, he would be there for short periods of time.
13:20But he would be right back there.
13:24My husband made a comment about how
13:27somebody's life is going to get hurt from all the things that he's getting into.
13:31He said, it could be you, it could be Kevin, it could be your mom.
13:43Well, if you were to get out of prison tomorrow, would you have the capability to kill again?
13:50Honestly, I believe everybody has the capability to kill again.
13:54But I feel that I have the mental capability and capacity to actually do it.
14:00Do you know what I'm saying?
14:02Because like they say, once you've done it once, you can do it again.
14:06I see the emptiness, just despair.
14:21I can remember thinking to myself that maybe I let him down by not stepping up to the plate and
14:27taking my child from my mom and my dad.
14:30But then as I got to thinking, he's older now.
14:35He can make life decisions.
14:37I'm still helping you.
14:38I'm still there.
14:40I can remember thinking, you can come to us at any time and we will help.
14:46Why won't you just come to us and let us help you?
14:50But he never asked.
14:53He's just taken it upon himself and just did and didn't even though it was wrong.
14:59You don't even know if you can forgive or forgive.
15:02What happened?
15:03Are you still going to care for them?
15:05Are they going to come out and do the right thing?
15:07Are they even going to come out?
15:10I'm honestly and thinking to myself, he might die in there.
15:23I truly believe that my mom put him first in everything and she provided to the best of
15:42her ability and he never wanted for nothing. Josh didn't just take advantage of my mom for all of
15:49these years. He took advantage of all of us.
15:55So I get a phone call. Josh asked me, Mom, it's really important. I need to borrow some money.
16:02And I said, well, can you wait till Thursday?
16:06Well, I really don't think I can. I need it as quick as possible.
16:08I said, well, I won't have it until Thursday. So, and I, and that was it.
16:13And he said, well, it's okay. I'll go, I'll go ask Granny.
16:19My phone is ringing and ringing and ringing.
16:28And it is my mother's pastor. And he said, I need to tell you something.
16:35Your mama didn't go to church Sunday. And that's not like her.
16:41And then he just gets very quiet. They found your mom dead.
16:45She had been in the house for a few days.
16:55I just remember standing there with the phone going, huh? What do you mean?
17:01And I'm just standing there holding the phone, looking at it.
17:03And then my cell phone starts ringing. And it's my uncle and aunt calling. And I can remember
17:14my aunt telling me it was foul play, being told that she had been shot.
17:21And I'm just sitting there crying, not knowing what to do.
17:25And I was just totally, totally dumbfounded.
17:41I cried for multiple days, got physically, violently sick.
17:52I can still remember having to pick up my mom's casket, having to make all these arrangements.
17:58My mom had to have a closed casket.
18:00I'm visiting him in jail, and I'm trying to understand what happened.
18:04And Josh, I remember asking, what happened? Did you kill mom?
18:08And he never really had an answer?
18:10No.
18:11To this very day, I still haven't gotten an answer.
18:16He just tells me that they argued.
18:20It wasn't until after Josh confessed that I told Kevin.
18:26I had just found out Josh had been arrested. I still hadn't known how my grandma was killed.
18:36It was just a sad, eerie moment. It was awful.
18:41It surprised me. I definitely think that was a step I didn't think he would reach.
18:46I knew he was really bad into the things he was doing, you know,
18:50robbing and stealing. But I didn't think he was capable of killing someone.
18:56He's just evil.
18:59No remorse. Stone-cold killer.
19:04I want to understand what made him do the things that he does.
19:07There could have been something that I don't know about because I'm younger,
19:11and I might find something else from his answers that I didn't know at the time.
19:16I would love to figure out, like, what makes you think this way?
19:19What makes you do the things that you do? Why do you do them?
19:26I would go and visit, and I would talk to him and ask him questions.
19:37Why is she dead? Did you go by yourself, Josh?
19:40I can remember thinking to myself that, yeah, he pulled the trigger.
19:44Has he ever admitted that to you?
19:47No. He was like, well, I was just so high. I'd been high for X amount of days.
19:53I've been an addict, and I've never been high or drunk enough that I would want to kill somebody.
20:00What was he thinking? Just what really happened?
20:02I just want hard facts that you've done it. I think the last thing my mom saw was
20:11a gun being pulled on her. Did she stand up? You know, did she even know he was there?
20:17I'd rather hear the truth than a lie.
20:47I am convicted of the crime of killing my grandmother by the means of shooting her in the head
20:58multiple times. This is a chance for me to explain to my family on how this crime came to be.
21:07I don't even believe I told my lawyer the true story.
21:10I don't know how to express it. Like, how do I sit there and say,
21:19Mom, I'm sorry. Kevin, I'm sorry. How do I do that? I don't know how.
21:25But this is my chance to do it. And I'm doing it the best way I can.
21:30And this is about the only way I know how to do it.
21:40So I went to my grandmother's house, ask her for a couple dollars.
21:49She doesn't mind helping me out. So I figured, you know, I could
21:54shoot her a little bit of bull . Sorry, excuse the language, but
21:57shoot her a lie here or there and be like, hey, granny, you know,
22:00I need a couple dollars for whatever reason, and hoping she would just give it to me.
22:05You know, I go in there and I actually sit down and talk for a little bit. You know,
22:10we just talking, watching a little TV. Now, I was already high on methamphetamines.
22:16That was by myself. And I'm like, hey, granny, I'm kind of have a little situation. I need a
22:21couple dollars. Can you help me out? And right then it was kind of just going in on me.
22:28Why do you need help? What do you need it for? You know, you stole, you did this, you did that.
22:36And I felt like it was a verbal attack towards me.
22:42I went outside, grabbed the gun, walked right inside and just shot her three times.
22:52So what did you do after the shooting?
22:54I left, went and got high. Like, I left the house, kind of tried to level myself out just
23:01a little bit. And I'm like, damn, hold on. I really just killed my grandmother.
23:06Well, I might as well go rob her now. Kill, grab, go.
23:12What was going through your mind? I mean, defend myself. I need to go ahead and get you before you
23:16get me. But how is it that you felt you needed to defend yourself? She's sitting on her couch.
23:21She's watching TV. She doesn't have a gun in her hand. That's how I just felt. Like, I really
23:27just felt like that. More or less, that was me being heartless. Me just not caring. Me being
23:34emotionalist. Me just thinking about me. Me being selfish. That's really what it was.
23:40Honestly, she didn't even see it coming. Because the way she was sitting in the couch,
23:48there's a side doorway from the kitchen into the living area. And that's where I shot from. Like,
23:54literally, as soon as I came through the doorway, I just shot her.
23:57I remember watching her body just kind of jerk a little bit. Like, it wasn't no
24:04hitting you and then she'd just fall over. Like, she literally was still sitting in the upright
24:09position. But her body just kind of jerked a little bit. After I killed her, I left. Like,
24:16I literally left the house. How much money were you asking or intending to ask her for that night?
24:27Probably about three, four hundred dollars. But wasn't your grandmother's life worth more than
24:33a couple hundred bucks? It really was. It really is.
24:39What was the last thing that your grandmother saw before she died? Did she even look at you?
24:44She didn't even see it. She didn't. The last thing she saw was,
24:49matter of fact, we were, or she was watching a show on the ID channel, I believe. Or she was watching
24:56some show like this. Like, she was real big into true crime. Like, she was really, real big into it.
25:04And it was strange. It's like, I'm watching this show growing up with you, and now you're on the show.
25:09I don't mean to sound rude or nothing or unemotional when I say this, but I could put you on the show.
25:17You know what I mean? It's, I could make the, make a show of you. Really.
25:22I want to talk about stealing. That was a big part of your life, and I looked up your criminal
25:33filings. Big thief. 52 criminal filings on your record dating back to 2009.
25:39All thefts. The majority of them. Probably all of them.
25:43Oh, man. Stuff I stole from my grandmother. Because like I say, she was very successful,
25:49so she had materialistic items. You know, I pop up, hey, granny, can you buy me this? No.
25:55So it just made me, once I learned I could just take stuff, why would I not? He continued to do it.
26:02I'm talking about, I stole checks. And I'm not talking about little checks. I'm talking about
26:06five, $600 checks at a time. Back to back to back.
26:10I mean, did you see your grandmother as someone that you could just use and
26:15take from to serve your own needs? At one point, yes. And I did because
26:22she had it. Like, you have all this stuff, and I want it. Like, I want to be where you're at,
26:30but you're not helping me get there. Once I learned I could just take and the consequences weren't that bad.
26:40Why not just keep on doing it? Well, I mean, the consequences are there's a victim on the other
26:44end. And that's me being, what's the word, heartless, more or less to say. And I really
26:54hate to say it like that, but I was heartless. I didn't care. Do you have any remorse for all the
27:01thefts and break-ins that you've done? I do now. But back then, no. And that's me being directly honest with you.
27:08I feel that growing up, if I would have had the opportunity to experience life as a child,
27:24it may have shaped my future in a different path. Like, my life was crumbling. I mean, because,
27:32like, my mom is really, at this point, my mom is my best friend. I didn't want her to feel like
27:42she abandoned me. And that's really how I felt back then. You know, and I understand things were
27:47out of her control. But that's how I really felt. Like, I remember she was arrested. I went through
27:55my grandmother. Like, and I feel that it wasn't out of love, more of an obligation. Like,
28:05this is my daughter's son. Let me take care of him. I felt the love to some degree. But the problem was,
28:14it was always tough love. There was never no hugs, no kisses. So whenever it got to the point,
28:20when I became an adult, or when I got of an age where I could just step out when I wanted to,
28:26it was like freedom. Like, hold on, I can just do this? I would just go as far as I could,
28:32because I'd never done it before.
28:44How are you feeling about watching Joshua's interview clips today?
28:57I don't know. I'm kind of, oh, my God, what am I going to hear? What am I going to see?
29:03I'm just in that, I don't know, how am I going to handle this? What am I going to do?
29:08Are you hoping it might bring you some closure? Yes, uh-huh.
29:12I could have been there that night. What if I was there? What would have happened to me?
29:26You're going to tell me if I, you know, screamed or you came running up the stairs and you see me,
29:30that you wouldn't have done the same? You put three in grandma, how about you just
29:34empty the clip, you know? It's, that's, that's, that's what my brother would think.
29:40What do you remember about being a seven-year-old and your mom telling you that she was being sent
29:52to prison? Like, my life was crumbling. I mean, because, like, my mom is really,
29:59at this point, my mom is my best friend. You know, she's the person now that I'm older, I'm an adult,
30:07I feel I can talk to her about things that I couldn't talk to her back then,
30:11because I didn't want her to feel like she abandoned me. And that's really how I felt back then.
30:20He said he feels abandoned.
30:22You know, yes, I did. I, in a way, I did abandon my child, even though I was always still in the picture.
30:32The guilt was always there. It never stopped, because like I said, I have,
30:37I've brought it up thousands of times. So it's not like he never had the opportunity
30:43to tell me this is how he felt.
30:44There were so many times that I would try to take him. And my dad would always step in.
30:58And it would be an issue, well, your mom wants to. This would hurt your mom. And he would throw that
31:07guilt trip on me. And then I would physically get Josh. And he would get in trouble. And maybe if I
31:16had been a little bit more open, and told him, well, you're coming to actually live with me,
31:22and you can't get in no trouble. Maybe if I had said it, I never did. I just figured he knew.
31:29He got emotional there. Do you think that was true emotion from him?
31:39That's a little hard, because I've never not been out of the picture, per se, except for the prison
31:49time. So it just, I don't, I'm a little iffy about it, because I was always there.
31:59I can empathize with the little boy. But as a grown man, you know, all he had to do was just open his
32:05mouth.
32:11Sit down, and I'm like, hey, Granny, I'm kind of have a little situation. I need a couple dollars.
32:15Can you help me out? And right then, it was kind of just going in on me. Why do you need help? What
32:22do you need it for? Now, I was already high on methamphetamines. Went outside, grabbed the gun,
32:29walked right inside, and just shot her three times. And I'm saying this in a heartless way,
32:37but that's how it happened.
32:39It's the truth. He finally spoke the truth about himself.
32:49I offered him the money, and he said, I really can't wait. I kind of need it as soon as possible.
32:55He said, no problem, Mom.
33:06There really was no point. Like, after,
33:09after I was, after I came down from being high, I was like,
33:15she, all she did was just get on to me a little bit. Like, that's all she was doing,
33:20was just getting on to me.
33:21So, basically, she started on you, and it annoyed you, so you shot her?
33:26Yeah, pretty much. The basics, yes. I'm not going to say she had it coming to her.
33:34More or less, that was me being heartless, me just not caring, me being emotionless,
33:40me just thinking about me, me being selfish. That's really what it was.
33:44Just why? He knows how Mom is. She, he knows, you know, did, did it just hurt his feelings?
33:55Just that bad to be told, no, I'm not going to give it to you.
33:59And you just, just reacted. And like you said, it was the emotional side. It just came out.
34:07Yeah. Does it give you any closure to have him admit that he was heartless and selfish?
34:18Yeah. To hear him say that he was heartless and selfish,
34:24I've given him the same opportunity that I, I gave his younger brother. And he still made the choices.
34:37Kevin wants to know, would you have killed him if he was there that night to cover your tracks?
34:45Because he remembers being at the grandma's house about a week prior to that. So he could have possibly
34:51have been there that night. I wouldn't have. Like, I really, I really love my brother. Like,
34:55I really love my grandmother. But it was just, I look at certain family members differently.
35:02Like, I feel compassion and love for my brother. I wanted to be there for him. But I just wasn't.
35:13Like, I really felt like I could have been a better brother towards him. I really could have done more
35:18for him. I've just been there. But I wasn't. I don't think, uh, I don't think he thought that
35:27answer through before he answered that one. Um, so he said he was on meth. So, you know, that's,
35:32that's one of those, that clouds his judgment, makes him a little bit crazier. Um, he says he wouldn't
35:38have, but, I mean, no one just goes and kills their grandma. No one willingly goes, has the chance
35:47to leave, to recuperate from the whole situation. Just go home, not even think about it. He comes
35:50back in the house. Doesn't even, because I know how that house is. He probably just aimed it through
35:55the doorway like that. He didn't even look at her. He didn't even have the heart to.
36:01These videos are eye-opening. I'm, I'm really glad that I got this opportunity to do something like this.
36:08I'm sorry. Like, I, I can't stress how much, how, how sorry I am. And I, I truly want to apologize,
36:31even though I've just never done it. I've never told him, hey, I'm sorry. Like, I just haven't.
36:37And this is my chance to do it in an impersonal way. Because I don't know how to just get on the
36:44phone and say, mom, I'm sorry. Like, I don't know how. I don't know how to just pick up the phone and
36:50say, Kevin, I'm sorry. I just don't know. I don't. I really don't know how to do it. And it's so simple.
37:00Like, just pick up the phone. Just do it.
37:08You know, it's, uh, that's the second time I've seen him cry. The second time in, you know,
37:14the 19 years I've been alive, the second time I've seen him cry. And, you know, I actually got
37:18to see a visceral reaction.
37:21Sometimes I feel like, was it a heartfelt apology? You know, was he truly,
37:28truly sorry for what he's done? Has he learned anything? Has he bettered himself?
37:33You've only been down since 2018. And what is he working toward?
37:42Just nothing. Just sitting there.
37:55This is a very happy picture right here. Oh, yeah. 100%. Um, it sucks that I wasn't able to
38:02develop that grandma-son relationship further. Just hate that, you know, her life was ended the way
38:09that it was. It's kind of, it's kind of heartbreaking, you know? One, that my brother was able to do this,
38:16but two, to just take such a joy away from our life. Like, even though my brother did what he did,
38:22he knows he's had wonderful and great memories with grandma.
38:28I mean, it's just sad. Just really sad. Just creates his own agenda. He's a psychopath. I hate to
38:37say it, but he's just a psychopath. No remorse. Stone cold killer. That's, I mean, that's really all I got.
38:45I don't consider myself psychopathic, but what is psychopathic at the end of the day?
38:50I'll read you the definition. A person who often projects considerable charm upon introduction,
38:57which I feel like you've done to me. Yes.
39:00Contributing to their effectiveness and social engagements.
39:02Mm-hmm. A person who's a skilled conversationalist with the ability to engage in small talk
39:08with ease, often displaying a sharp wit that attracts others. A person who has an absence of
39:14conscious and lacks empathy. I don't want to say I'm a psychopath, but that's kind of the definition
39:21of my personality. Like, you literally just described my personality. To the T.
39:28There's more. Signs typically emerging prior to adolescence behavior, such as lying, theft,
39:36cheating, vandalism, substance abuse, and truancy. You just described me all the way.
39:43That is, don't tell me that's the true definition of a psychopath. It is. That may be just how my brain
39:52works. I really, truly, at the end of the day, I may be cold-blooded.
40:03My mom's life was worth more than just a few dollars. My mother is not here because
40:10Josh killed her. He shot her. I truly believe that Josh is a cold-blooded killer.
40:17He went there with the intentions to do harm. I feel like, deep down, he's where he needs to be.
40:24He's just evil and petty. There's only so much you can do.
40:29Even when you have handed them the world, picked them up all the times that they have fallen,
40:35and they keep on and keep on. And there's only so much guilt
40:38for things that have happened or gone wrong. But at the end of the day, if you picked yourself up,
40:46you've got to move on from it.
40:48When I meditated and prayed about it, my mom's, I literally hear my mom's voice saying,
40:57do not live in the past and forgive.
41:09When he grabbed the engine, that's when I ran up and hit her with the bat twice.
41:18This became an enraged, brutal murder. It broke my heart. You know, even my son.
41:24It was a horrible crime. There's no getting around it. But I feel like I'm more than just my crime.
41:29That's right.
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