- 6/25/2025
Like an Animal Written by Meic Povey Mair wants to move to a new bungalow to end her days but Defi wants to stay in their mountain farmhouse. Neither choice will wipe out the tragedy in their past. Mair: Sian Phillips Defi: Glyn Houston Director Alison Hindell Afternoon Play: Wed 20th Apr 2005 14:15 on BBC Radio 4 FM
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FunTranscript
00:00How can a long married couple face a new future when there are issues from the past that need
00:09to be resolved? Find out in our afternoon play in a moment. Then at three, we have Moneybox
00:13Live with Paul Lewis.
00:15Yes, slightly less excitement on this programme. Why waste money every time you give a pound
00:20to charity and don't fill in a gift aid form? You normally stop the charity claiming back
00:2428 pence from the Chancellor. If you want to know more, today's Moneybox Live is all
00:28about giving to charity. How can you get that tax boost to your gift? How can you tell
00:32your money's really spent on what you want? And how can you stop people pestering you when
00:36you want to make your own choices? The number to call, 08 700 100 444. Lines are open for
00:41your calls now. Moneybox Live on giving to charity just after three. The number again, 08 700
00:46100 444.
00:48Thank you, Paul. We're now on BBC Radio 4. Our afternoon play, which is set on a Welsh mountain
00:53farm, like an animal, by Mike Povey, star Sian Phillips and Glyn Houston.
00:58The number again, Paul.
01:02The number again, Paul.
01:06The number again, Paul.
01:08The number again, Paul.
01:10The number again, Paul.
01:11The number again, Paul.
01:18On a Welshham t franch kicked,
01:21O one head focused on welcomes
01:23we kaldid
01:24on
01:25the
01:25There he is, there I see him, Ivan, there he goes, climbing over the stile, heading
01:53for the deep gorge, I knew he'd come today, I knew it, well fetch my stick, my stick,
02:00hurry, he's on the sheep truck, hurry, we'll have reached the mountain gate, stay put, Ivan,
02:07stay, I'll be with you now, my stick woman, a case for heaven's sake, we'll have turned
02:14around, did you catch sight of the dog, did you catch sight of Ivan, he was but yards
02:25away a minute ago, tomorrow, perhaps you'll call by tomorrow.
02:44Seven years, seven years come Easter, that's how long it's been, nine since we buried
03:10Madge, nine since Madge left us, Ivan, seven, seven or eight, you were dreaming, slumbering,
03:20remembering, confused, he used to call on a Sunday as a rule, pockets bulging with sweets,
03:26seven years, don't waste your breath denying it, he died during the rebuilding of the old
03:32barn, it was you who cut the stones for Mr. Wilson, I was working then, that is when he
03:37died, cutting stones, is that what I was doing, oh cruel work for a man of my age, no, not
03:46then, not when Ivan was alive, he used to call on a Sunday, pockets bulging with sweets,
03:54Arwen with his face against the window, waiting patiently for his shadow to appear over the
03:59ridge, against the summer sky, there he is, Uncle Ivan, there he is, he's arrived, it wasn't
04:06his real uncle, it's what Arwen used to say, my, a year in the bungalow, that's all, together,
04:14two for Ivan on his own, barely alive at journey's end, a needless expense, a reckless fancy
04:21interfering with the way of things, Madge imposing her will, thinking of the future, presumably,
04:27leaving before Ivan, when all was said and done, leaving good mountain air for central
04:35heating, how can that be a benefit to anybody, it's not what killed her, what's the matter
04:40with you, she was unlucky, it's not what usually happens, that is what happened to her,
04:46my, it was not how it should have been, Davy, it was Ivan's turn, that's the order of things,
04:54had Madge left half a second earlier, had that boy who came across her left a second earlier,
05:02or later, had she stayed at home that day, Madge never drove a solitary thing until she
05:08left for the bungalow, as soon as she did, she wanted to return at every opportunity, she
05:14was returning that day, to visit us perhaps, who knows, be quiet, he caught her all right,
05:21oh yes, he was there waiting for her, sitting on the bank, his eyes on the bend, having patiently
05:27twiddled his thumbs for sixty years, damn him, damn him, took Ivan in her wake, barely two
05:37years after, such greed, weak heart, broken heart, at his age,
05:44I doubt it, half killed himself moving house instead of paying someone proper to do the
05:50work, did you telephone the man, it will have to be done, Davy, ask him to visit us here,
06:02that you could surely manage, even I could manage it, don't you dare, you'd rather wait until
06:07you're too frail to drag yourself up the stairs to bed, I used to climb the voil every day,
06:12unless it was gripped with snow, or torn by thunder and lightning, I'll climb again when
06:18spring comes, I'd be very surprised, you could hardly reach the door, never mind climbing the
06:23voil, there'd be no need to climb at all in a bungalow, from room to room on the level,
06:32Davy, I need less energy, less puff, I could start smoking again, I'm pulling your leg,
06:39don't fret, no harm will come of dreaming, hopefully, the harm's been done, light up,
06:47first thing, one after the other, two packs daily without care or conscience, too late,
06:54you left it too late, and now he's on his way to collect his dues before his time, Davy,
07:02we'll see about that, he's at the garden gate at the moment, he's not on the doorstep,
07:07you must fawn the man today, offer a fair price, escape before the weather turns,
07:14in a row, that's where we'll be, bunched in like two sardines, a bungalow either side,
07:21people in all directions, better that than wake up a morning as I'm bound to do with you a corpse
07:29beside me, I'd be in dire need of people then to move you from bedroom to parlour, from room
07:35to room, on the level, buy a wheeled coffin for added convenience, what would I do should some
07:42misfortune happen here, pick up the telephone, dial 999, what could be simpler, is that all,
07:48put the kettle on, as you do every morning, a pot for three rather than two, for the ambulance
07:55driver and his partner, they won't come here, we won't be here, you will fawn the man, won't you,
08:03you and Madge discussed the matter often, I know, you'd organised and schemed as to the way of things,
08:09once even an eye had gone, poor Madge, to no avail, it wasn't her fault, there was nothing she could
08:17do about it, you mean, what if you were prowling this very night, not to ravage me, but to ravage
08:27you, it might be me who's awake in the morning, it might be me making the tea, nonsense, is that
08:37what you wish, not on your life, who's dreaming now, I have never suggested it, you're the one who's
08:44always going on about the order of things, oh the order was changed in Madge's case, she was killed
08:49by a car, it was an accident, not fate, accident or no, he was waiting for her, you said so yourself,
08:57in jest, to scare you, nothing will harm us if we stay put, how can you tell, it wouldn't be the
09:04first time, no matter, it wasn't all bad, for even during the last few years, at least he had the
09:13children, he'd often say, it's not all bad to me, at least I have the children, how fortunate, Glen
09:22phoning every Sunday, Morvid from some foreign land, once in a blue moon, very considerate, they were
09:29strength itself, during his loss, they came to the funeral, they stayed a few days, before, Glen
09:37would drop by twice a year, Morvid every 18 months, they were there, my, yes Davy, they
09:44were there, what more could they do, both with important positions, families to support, countless
09:51responsibilities, Morvid is acknowledged, acknowledged, mind you, as an expert in her
09:59field, a mainstay of the legal profession, and not yet 40, 40, and Glen has climbed the
10:05ladder of the civil service remarkably quickly, remarkably quickly, my, 40, he'd have been
10:1240 next birthday, same age as Morvid, I wonder what he'd be today, it's of no consequence,
10:19we'll never know, he was so clever with his hands, do you remember the letterbox he made
10:26me at school, letterbox, letterbox, he didn't make it, it was a box in the first place, an
10:32old shoebox, are you out of your mind, all Arwen did, was cover it with brown paper, put
10:37a slit on the top, and that little teacher girl helped him to do that, he asked especially
10:42if he could do it, Davy, he presented it to me, formally, and gallantly, on the mountain
10:48with his father, that's where he'd be, this is for you, ma'am, you was for looking after
10:54me, he never said such a thing, he was destined for college, he was a marvel at sums, could
11:00count to a hundred before he could walk, how do you know, how can you possibly remember
11:05after so long, college, then on, forward, everything before, oh be quiet for heaven's sake, leave
11:13it be, woman, leave it be, before I, I choke you, I can see them, I've never stopped seeing
11:22them, in the shadow of the haystack between the cowshed and the barn, I can see them playing
11:28house, Arwen with his mop of curls, torn trousers and runny nose, and Morvith with her black, severe
11:35hair, straight and severe, almost a boy's, nothing like a girl's at all, Arwen and Morvith,
11:42a husband and wife, Glyn, a neighbour, that's how it used to be, not once did I see it different,
11:49that day, that morning, Arwen suddenly left the play and turned towards the house, and
11:58he saw me in the window, and he smiled and raised his hand, he smiled and raised his hand
12:07before turning back to the play once more, that is all the memory I have of him, how will
12:18it be, I wonder, when next I see him, will he recognise me now that I'm old, it'll be
12:25heaving with people, you mark my words, will he recognise me in the crowd, who knows, it
12:32could be the very first thing I see, the smile and the raised hand greeting me, who knows,
12:41it could be the other place, perhaps that's where I'll be, the same place is all that I
12:48that counts, what is it, what's the matter, don't touch me, what on earth are you doing,
13:07touching me, you know full well how I despise it, not always, not always, he was here again this
13:14morning, first like damn him, damn him mad, it wasn't always so, yes, he would visit once
13:23a year when I was small, once, twice a year, what did it matter, he came and went, there
13:29one night and then not seen for months, there's another thing, at night, not mornings like he
13:37does now, the depths of night, not sleeping, the pillow a boat hole, my head beneath like
13:45a frightened rabbit, to no avail chance it down the coal landing, what in heaven's name
13:50are you doing, wandering about, back to bed this instant, quickly, before I thrash you,
13:55what's the matter, Winbach, to bed before I half kill you, in you get, cuddle up, hold me,
14:00spoiled team, spoiled team, only natural, moddy coddling a six, seven year old, unnatural I'd say,
14:06most unusual, broken sleep, five o'clock start as he was, no wonder I was dead on my feet by
14:13eleven, spoiled rotten, comforting him, confusing him, demons, he was afraid of demons, made up,
14:21making matters worse, asleep in seconds, happy, warm, contented bundle, from a world of demons to
14:28fairyland, you sent him there, don't talk nonsense, yes, you persuaded him, that no harm would come
14:38his way as long as he kept faith with them, in life, and in death, I never lied, so you say,
14:46ever, Davy, so you say, ask him, he knows, what, knows what, ask him,
14:58who was he, who was he, Meyer, will he answer?
15:22Did you get to the mountain gate? A fine day for walking. Was it you who tempted him here? Was it
15:30you who picked up the telephone? He left pictures, and a brief description. Very generous.
15:37End of the row, Davy, end of the row, not the middle, like before. And that is tolerable?
15:43Same age as you, Davy, living next door, same age as you. What would I be doing with such a man?
15:48Being neighbourly, exactly how you used to be with Ivan. Something different altogether.
15:55When I was with Ivan, all those years ago, each word was precise and in its place. Nothing was wasted.
16:04Even when there was talk of war one time, when every wretch on these slopes lived in mortal fear,
16:10neither Ivan nor I, for that matter, ever uttered a word. It was hardly mentioned.
16:18Each knew instinctively what the other was thinking. The stillness and calmness counted far more than mere platitudes.
16:28Are you seriously suggesting that such understanding is yet again within my grasp?
16:34That a man in a bungalow could possibly fill the void Ivan left behind?
16:39You weren't the only one. I lost Madge.
16:42You lost a chatterbox, certainly. I've even endured it for so long as beyond me. Talk, talk, through day and night. Nothing said at the end of it.
16:51Madge had a good heart. She was a good woman, a considerate neighbour.
16:56Considerate and talkative, my. And when the two of you got together, Lord help us.
17:02The first to fall silent would be the first to lose her voice. Now don't you deny it.
17:06How do you know? You were never there to hear us. They were secrets. Our secrets. Nobody knows what was really said.
17:15And no wonder, poor Ivan was hardly allowed in the house, dragged off to wander that mountain before he could finish his tea.
17:22Merciful escape. Look, where will I go from the bungalow, I wonder?
17:26A telephone in the parlour. You wouldn't have to leave the hearth.
17:33Who would telephone us? The man next door? Have you given him our number? Do you intend inviting him to tea? What will we talk about?
17:42A tiny hall in the front door to see who's there, choosing neighbours without giving offence.
17:48My choice, Meyer, was Ivan and the mountain. Ivan is gone. But the mountain will always be there.
17:57What would it matter if it uprooted and flew away? What good is the mountain? Now you can hardly get further than the footbridge. You'll never leave my sight again, dearie.
18:09Someday. Sometime.
18:10If that is what happens. If he chooses you.
18:13Absolutely, that's what happens. Remember?
18:17Not if I decide to meet him halfway. A hot summer's day. Strangers in abundance on the mountain. Milk and eggs enjoying a brisk sail.
18:28Over the footbridge, up the sheep track, before the steady climb towards the deep gorge.
18:35Look down into the whirlpool. Throw a stone or two into its eye. Slip. Fall.
18:43What could be simpler?
18:46That's not how it was. He heard voices. The fairies encouraging him to jump.
18:54Slip. Fall. Discovered. A mile downstream.
19:01What will you say when the policeman comes to the door?
19:04Two policemen. That's what you said, Meyer. One in short sleeves, the other in uniform.
19:09I took him for a salesman. That he'd called about business to see you. He's minding the sheep. He won't return for a good while. Of course, I couldn't tell him everything. I couldn't tell him the truth, I mean. Not him.
19:24It was the truth. You know full well that is where I was.
19:28I couldn't share the truth with a stranger concerning what I knew, what I saw that day. Not a word did I utter to a soul for years. Until I told Madge, eventually.
19:42Madge? What on earth possessed you to tell her of all people? What did you say? Lies because that is what they were?
19:52Did she confide in Ivan? Is another matter?
19:55What did you tell her?
19:56The truth as I remembered it. What I saw. Who I saw going past the pantry window. Who I saw following minutes later.
20:06I was on my way to the mountain. I'd left the house to mind the flock. A sheep had gone missing. I went searching as far as Cribber Henner. That is why I took so long. I mean, how many times must I say it?
20:18That is what I told him. A sheep must have gone missing. He's never this late.
20:24When we arrived at Shopper Groys, they took him to the shop to begin with, if you recall. The policeman held my forearm and led me in. They were waiting for the ambulance, doing all they could until it arrived.
20:45There was a man, a walker from away. Well used to such situations, I'd say. Pumping his little breast up and down. Putting his two lips over his two lips. And blowing.
21:00Could he hear me, I wonder? Could he hear my whisperings? I wasn't asleep, my lovely one. I was tired. Worn out and dozing for five minutes. I was waiting for your father, my lovely. I heard him coming just before my eyes closed. I heard his whistle. I heard fly barking.
21:27I heard him coming. He'll be here any minute. Hold on, Irwin, my love. Hold on.
21:39Felt light at it. Fell back. The policeman catching me in time. That's when Ivan and Madge arrived. And then you, Divy. You. Last of all.
21:55He heard voices. He heard the fairies. If that's what you'll tell him. Persuade him that that is what happened. Take advantage of a child's innocence.
22:07He's a man by now, surely. If such a place exists. A responsible man. Mature in age and thought. And that is why it will be possible for me to explain to him fully.
22:20A man. A man, Divy, and him having heard the fairies. If he did go to them, if he answered their call, then he'll be a child forever.
22:28He will not. They don't exist.
22:30They do, according to you? They enticed him? They stole him from us?
22:34In his head? Not for real? Not in fact? In his head? Because of your confusion over the years?
22:42But you've just talked about meeting him. A man. Mature in age and thought. Such belief is exactly the same as believing in the fairies.
22:51If. I mean, if. What is wrong with you?
22:57Were he, Mire, a mature man in age and thought, I could explain to him down to the last detail.
23:02Were he a mature man, he would be alive. And there'd be no need for you to explain anything, because nothing would have happened.
23:12But that is not the case, Divy. He'll be a child. Facing a child is what's in store for you.
23:21If you believe in fairies.
23:22If you believe in heaven.
23:28It might be best if we went together.
23:34Hand in hand.
23:36Face him together, Divy.
23:40I could plead your case, it needs be.
23:43If such a place exists, and if I am to be the first, I'm more than willing to face the top man himself.
23:51Never mind anybody else.
23:52On my own.
23:53Never mind the top man.
23:56It's Arwen you have to face.
23:58Sooner or later.
24:07Rwy nedrych dros y bryniau pech
24:13Am dan at bob a rawr
24:18Týr dvan wylid myn hoer hai
24:25Am heilbron mind i laur
24:33Enough.
24:41What's wrong with you, woman?
24:43He's closing in as it is, without you going looking for him.
24:47He'll come, before you know it.
24:50He'll drag us down, there'll be no escape from his clutches.
24:54The very end, that's what it'll be, once he gets his teeth into us.
25:00Like a fox's jaw, slowly extinguishing the life out of his prey.
25:08It might take many months, but no matter, there will be no escape.
25:14Oh, for instance, departure.
25:19Lucky much.
25:21Totally oblivious to her fate.
25:23She wasn't to know that the very last thought in her mind
25:26Would be the very last thought in her mind.
25:31What was it, I wonder?
25:34Deciding what to get even for his supper?
25:37Or what colour hat to wear to chapel the following Sunday?
25:41Suddenly remembering she needed to buy a new pair of dishcloths?
25:45Or noticing a stray bit of thread on the sleeve of her overcoat?
25:50A stray bit of thread on the sleeve of her overcoat?
25:53A last conscious memory, perhaps.
25:57Gone in an instant, yes.
26:00But how can that be avoided?
26:03Ending it all on such a dismal note.
26:07A bullet before firstly ensuring that the last memory of all is worthwhile.
26:13Seconds before resting the barrel against the side of the head.
26:16That day, given the choice, without question that day would be the last memory.
26:21I have nothing to hide.
26:24I did no wrong.
26:25It was my fault.
26:27Tell him, Meyer.
26:29Should you get there before me, if such a place exists?
26:33Should you be lucky enough to arrive at all?
26:36You tell him from me that it was my fault.
26:39What is it?
27:05What's the matter?
27:06What's the matter in God's name?
27:09Oh, for heaven's sake, stop making that dreadful noise.
27:12Are you ill?
27:14Is it in your mind to go before me?
27:18What would I do without you?
27:19Where could I possibly go?
27:21Don't leave me all alone in a bungalow, all alone with but a stranger for company.
27:30What if I lost the use of my legs?
27:33A strange hand forcing medicine down my throat, pushing needles into my arm, cleaning up my mess.
27:40An alien hand guiding me into a chair, in a row facing a row opposite.
27:45Everyone, Jack, wondering where the gap will be the following morning.
27:51Distant relatives shouting to be heard, talking rubbish, thinking that whoever is listening cannot understand.
28:00Dear Meyer, don't leave me in a world I know nothing about.
28:04What kept you?
28:23Where did you get to, Davy?
28:25The little one has been asleep for hours.
28:28I couldn't get away.
28:29Ivan was talking, waiting for Ivan to finish.
28:31Who did you see?
28:33Apart from Ivan, who else did you see on your travels?
28:36Many.
28:37There were crowds in all directions.
28:39I saw all sorts.
28:40He's been nagging all day, nagging to see you.
28:43Don't wake him.
28:44Don't you dare.
28:45Here he is.
28:46He's coming.
28:47How many times did I hear that shouting today?
28:49Here he is.
28:51Here he comes, riding the pony.
28:54The sweet innocent.
28:56The pony died years ago.
28:59Years ago.
29:02Take him with you next time.
29:04That is what he wants, Davy.
29:05Make him feel a man.
29:06He is but a child, Meyer.
29:08When he's older, he'll be more than welcome.
29:11Marky days for men, not your own.
29:13Afraid of what he might see, Davy?
29:15See?
29:15What is there to see apart from animals?
29:17On two legs, some of them.
29:18Men buying and selling animals.
29:20I ain't the best bargain.
29:22What would a child do in such a place?
29:23See.
29:24Animals.
29:25Observe.
29:25Nag.
29:26I don't realize strange language, strange smell, confusion.
29:34Who did you see?
29:37All sorts.
29:38No matter.
29:38Any strangers?
29:39Naturally.
29:40Hot summer's day.
29:41Strangers in abundance.
29:43Milk and eggs enjoying a brisk sale.
29:45Is that what kept you talking to strangers?
29:47Ivan was talking.
29:48Not me.
29:49You're dreaming, Meyer.
29:51I came as soon as I could.
29:53I'm here now.
29:54You are.
29:55Now.
29:57Oh.
29:59Lie still.
30:01It'll soon be over.
30:02No, Davy.
30:04Best not.
30:05Just in case.
30:06Come along, woman.
30:07Before I do myself an injury.
30:08You're waking for sure.
30:09Come on.
30:10Best not, Davy.
30:12All night long, that's all I ask.
30:14A man needs you all night long without interruption.
30:17Once in his life.
30:18Get him to bed.
30:19Get him out of my sight.
30:20Too late.
30:21He's awake.
30:22Hold him.
30:23The boy's awake and asking for his father.
30:26Explain to him in detail who you saw today.
30:29Tell him who you spoke to.
30:31Ivan did the talking.
30:32I sat in the car.
30:33You were talking too.
30:34Or rather, you were very near.
30:38Close.
30:38But not talking, perhaps.
30:40Very close.
30:42Touching.
30:42Rubbing against each other for a second, even.
30:45That would explain the unfamiliar smell.
30:47That is why Arwen is holding on to his mother, refusing to let go, refusing to embrace you.
30:55He, too, has sensed all is not quite as it should be.
30:59Poor love.
31:00How can it not be quite as it should be?
31:04I went to market.
31:05I sold two animals and was paid a handsome price.
31:08I have a pocket full of money and now I'm home in good health.
31:12I drank a pint instead of my usual half.
31:14But that's not the end of the world, surely?
31:17Yes, I talked to some not talked to before.
31:20But that is all that happened.
31:23That is all that happened.
31:25Hot summer's morning.
31:34The day after market.
31:36Strangers in abundance.
31:37Milk and eggs enjoying a brisk sale.
31:40I saw her...
31:42Long before she reached the house.
31:44Long before you...
31:46Left the house.
31:49You were shaving, dearie, for the second time that week.
31:52Shaving before setting off to mind the flock on an unfamiliar day.
31:58Something which you've never done before.
32:01Dada's shaving, mummy.
32:02Dada's shaving.
32:03Come and see.
32:04Shaving.
32:06Putting on a clean shirt.
32:07Clean shirt and jacket.
32:10Cutting.
32:10Scrubbing your nails.
32:12A thing not done since your wedding night.
32:15Lest you harm the sheep, no doubt, while manhandling them.
32:19Dada's stinking, mummy.
32:21There's a funny smell on him.
32:22Come and see.
32:24A few pennies worth.
32:26Enough to send a gypsy woman on her way one time.
32:29A token stuffed behind the disinfectant for so long.
32:32Waiting patiently until opened on that day.
32:37Why can't we go to the fair, mummy?
32:39Because your father has to go to the mountain, child.
32:43Because your father chooses to go.
32:46Marvith and Glyn are going.
32:48Why can't I?
32:48That is where I saw her for the very first time.
32:54Before that day.
32:56A few months previously at the spring fair.
33:00Although I did not realise it until that day.
33:03At the fair.
33:05Leaving the coconut shy.
33:08Arwen's hand firmly held in mine, nagging to reach the merry-go-round.
33:13Moving towards us.
33:15You stepping into the road to let her pass.
33:18Thanked in an unfamiliar tongue.
33:20In an unfamiliar tongue.
33:21Unfamiliar smell.
33:26But that was not the first time you'd seen her, of course.
33:30I know that now.
33:31I knew it that day, as she approached the house.
33:37I remembered how the both of you exchanged a smile as you stepped into the road, as she walked by.
33:44Not a smile of thanks or acknowledgement.
33:47Rather of conspiracy and lies.
33:50Even in the presence of wife and child there, under your very nose.
33:55But that was not the first time.
34:00There was an earlier meeting.
34:02Another summer.
34:03Maybe it took more than one before a decision was reached.
34:07Two or three, who knows, for the urge to fester.
34:11Long winter months, with imagination running riot,
34:15rekindled the following spring,
34:17until what took place became inevitable.
34:21A fire raging inside of you.
34:24The desire like a dead weight in the pit of your gut,
34:28ever since the time and place was agreed upon finally at the market the previous day.
34:37Late arriving.
34:38Smelling of drink.
34:40Conscience pricking.
34:42Obligations dutifully performed before turning over to sleep.
34:48Early to rise.
34:49The craving almost unbearable like an animal.
34:52Davy, you could hardly live in your skin.
34:58As she approached the house, when she was nearly upon the gate,
35:02I felt the lump in my throat swell even more as I realised how different she was.
35:09Impossible to tell when briefly glimpsed in the chaos of the fair,
35:13seconds in a crowd.
35:14Tanned arms and nape of neck, through idleness, not toil.
35:20Summer frock, hanging dangerously, concealing all kinds of delicacies and mysteries.
35:27As she went past the pantry window, I could smell her.
35:32Strange, unfamiliar smell.
35:34Not unlike the night you returned from market.
35:40Strange.
35:41Expensive, no doubt.
35:43That made me feel ordinary.
35:45And worthless.
35:47As she reached the footbridge, a sudden gust of wind blew the frock nearly over her head.
35:53A moment quickly gone, but a feast for those who dream of such spectacles, I dare say.
36:00As the frock rose, she looked back and smiled, shyly yet suggestively, as if she'd heard the back door slumming shut.
36:07There was no holding back then.
36:11She strode towards the mountain gate as if her very life depended on it.
36:16May I go with him?
36:17May I go with Dada?
36:19Where's he gone, Mummy?
36:20Where's he gone without me?
36:21When will he be back?
36:24He will be back.
36:26But he will never be the same.
36:28He left a husband and father, and will return a stranger.
36:34A stranger with blood on his hands, and venom in his heart.
36:42Hold me, my lovely one.
36:44Closer.
36:45Hold on to me, close.
36:47Don't listen to your mother.
36:48She's only rambling.
36:50The fear of loss confusing her.
36:53A sheep must have wandered.
36:55He might even have gone as far as Creeper Airier in his search for her.
36:58Yes, that is where he'll be.
37:00When next I looked, all I could see was a flush of colour as the summer frock disappeared into the depth of the bracken.
37:09And you following, running almost.
37:13You didn't smoke so much then, Davy.
37:15Or perhaps you did, but they hadn't then started to eat you alive.
37:20Toffee.
37:22Let's make some toffee.
37:23And put it on the windowsill to cool.
37:26Your father will be home by the time it's ready.
37:28You mark my words.
37:30Naughty mummy.
37:31She shouldn't be harbouring such dark thoughts.
37:34Your father will return, having safely found the lost sheep.
37:38Can't you hear?
37:40Can't you hear him?
37:41He has found the sheep and is returning home.
37:44Can't you hear his whistle?
37:46Listen to the bark of the dog.
37:48Go out to greet him.
37:49Go out to greet him, my lovely one.
37:51I'll stay behind.
37:53I'll start making the tea.
37:54Tea for three.
37:55Hurry.
37:56He's getting closer.
37:57His shadow will appear over the ridge before you put your shoes on.
38:01He will have reached the mountain gate before you get to the front door.
38:07Hold his hand tightly.
38:09He'll be so pleased to see you.
38:11Go.
38:12Hurry.
38:13You're old enough to go on your own.
38:16Go.
38:17You don't need your mother.
38:18He did.
38:19You don't need your mother to get to the footbridge.
38:22He did.
38:23Go.
38:23Hurry.
38:24But keep the house in sight, just in case.
38:27In case you're dreaming.
38:28Dreaming.
38:29Falling asleep.
38:30I heard whistling and barking.
38:33Dreaming.
38:34Confused.
38:35Two frail decks.
38:36Sticks.
38:37Racing over the footbridge.
38:38Through the mountain gate and up the sheep trail.
38:40Without a care in the world.
38:42Brave little heart.
38:43Beating faster than it ever did.
38:45As he dared himself to go further than he'd ever been.
38:48As far as the peat fog.
38:50And the majestic climb towards Kribererir.
38:53To his left on the windswept plain.
38:55The sheep pen.
38:58Is that where you took her, Davy?
39:01Is that where you penned her in and chased her unceremoniously into the farthest corner?
39:07Is that where the teasing and laughter died?
39:11Is that where she realised it was no longer a silly prank, a childish game, but a need that had to be satisfied at all costs?
39:19This poor soul, expecting a loving hand, whispers and sweet nothings, realising too late that this was not the gentleman she saw at the fair.
39:30The gentleman who stepped into the road to let her pass.
39:34He who could hardly make himself understood, but who was, in spite of that, arousing her to an unbearable degree.
39:41Oh, what did he see?
39:47What did the wretched might see when he came upon you, when he climbed to the top of the pen wall and called for his dadda?
39:55A ravaged sheep, that is what the boy saw.
39:58A piece of cotton, white cotton, dripping red blood.
40:01A piece of cotton torn by a grasping hand without mercy seconds before.
40:05A scream, a roar, as the passion was finally released, as the craving was finally satisfied.
40:13A handful of blooded wool, a bleaking sheep, not a scream or a roar.
40:19Solid mass, thrusting and destroying, blood and gore, the praise, pitiful howl, a thousand howls inside his head.
40:28His terror'd one with hers as he turned and ran for his life.
40:32Running for his life, for his life.
40:35Come back here! Come back here before I half kill you!
40:39Half killed inside. The whirlpool did the rest.
40:45When eventually I found the sheep, when the dog had her under control between Cribereri and the pen,
40:52that is when I first saw the woman.
40:54Of course it's possible I'd seen her previously, in market or fair.
40:58Before then, never had I looked, touched or coveted another.
41:02In your imagination, certainly, many times, but not in fact.
41:08Once, just once in my life, I exchanged a stranger's smile.
41:13Once I experienced an unfamiliar smell.
41:16In passing.
41:17A split second only.
41:19You too.
41:20A split second was enough.
41:22It fed you a little fears and prejudices as when feeds fire.
41:28It entered the realm of the fairies and turned to pure poison in that little one's heart.
41:33That is when I first saw the woman on the plane between Cribereri and the pen,
41:40watching as the dog guided the lost sheep into the father's corner,
41:45taking out a camera, a colour camera, smiling kindly, mumbling in a strange tongue,
41:51bringing the camera up to her right eye, the sheep bleating and wailing.
41:56Perhaps she chanced too near.
41:59I did warn her.
42:01Best I could.
42:04A step too far.
42:06Perhaps she saw too much.
42:10Perhaps that is why she ran away.
42:15Come back here.
42:17Come back here to your dada, you silly boy.
42:19I nearly caught him.
42:22I didn't smoke as much then.
42:24Or perhaps I did, but they hadn't then started to eat me alive.
42:28Two inches away from his collar.
42:30Two inches.
42:31Which became three, four a foot.
42:34A yard away from my reach.
42:36Like a stone in the water.
42:37From your reach.
42:38From your heart.
42:40From your conscience.
42:41The boy slipped.
42:43Slipped.
42:44Fell.
42:46Intentionally.
42:47Accidentally.
42:47Or otherwise.
42:51No matter now.
42:53We will soon know the truth.
42:59What is it?
43:01Are you in?
43:04Of course not.
43:06In God's name, stop it.
43:09Don't be the first to go.
43:12Don't leave me.
43:13On my own.
43:14Oh, beloved mile.
43:17Not all alone in the world I know nothing about.
43:21Now you tell him the truth now.
43:23You tell him how it really was.
43:25No, wait.
43:26Wait.
43:27You won't have to.
43:28I'll tell him myself.
43:30You won't have to, mile.
43:31Well, there he is.
43:32There.
43:33I see him.
43:34Leaping over the stile and heading for the deep gorge.
43:38Bring out the toffee.
43:39Hurry.
43:40He's on the sheep trail.
43:41Hurry.
43:42I'll have reached the mountain gate.
43:44The toffee woman.
43:45Make haste.
43:46I'll have turned back.
43:50Did you see him?
43:55He was about yards away.
43:57A minute ago.
44:02Tomorrow.
44:02Perhaps he'll call by tomorrow.
44:09Tomorrow.
44:09Tomorrow.
44:09.
44:19.
44:19.
44:23.
44:25.
44:25.
44:26.
44:36MUSIC CONTINUES
45:06For the news at three o'clock, a 15-year-old boy has been given a life sentence for the murdering a boy of 11.
45:12Michael Hamer has been detained indefinitely and can't be considered for parole for 12 years.
45:18Manchester Crown Court heard that he'd lured his victim, Joe Geeling, to his home,
45:22stabbed him to death and dumped his body in a park in Bury in Greater Manchester.
45:27Joe's father, Tom Geeling, spoke to reporters outside the court.
45:31We've reached a point where Hamer has finally pleaded guilty.
45:35Many people were under the impression that Joe's case was all done and dusted
45:39and that his murder had been sentenced and was already serving time in prison.
45:44It's taken an enormous amount of preparation for us to get to this point
45:48and it has been a long, frustrating, agonising wait for all of us.
45:52A teenager has pleaded guilty to the manslaughter of a boy who was stabbed outside the gates of his school in North London in May.
45:59The 16-year-old denies murdering 15-year-old Kyan Prince, who played for Queen's Park Rangers youth team.
46:06The Community Secretary, Ruth Kelly, has told local councils that they have a pivotal role to play
46:11in helping to combat Islamic extremism.
46:14Downing Street has dismissed reports that the government wants university staff to spy on students.
46:1990 sailors are believed to have been killed by a suicide bomber who attacked a military convoy in Sri Lanka.
46:26They've been on their way home from a tour of duty in the north-east of the country,
46:30where government forces are fighting Tamil Tiger guerrillas.
46:33The bomber blew up a lorry full of it.
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